Tony149 Posted July 9, 2016 Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD THIS PAST SUNDAYGREAT ANGLE BASH TYLER Alix, Alix, you fought so hard and lost so well. But I see how matted your hair is with all that sweat. We need to make it easier for you fight, don't we, Flex? THE FLEX nods and smiles a toothy grin as he opens his case and reveals the scissors! RENEE Oh no! No! QUEEN ESTHER You musn't! Do not! Tyler pulls the famous scissors out the box and holds them aloft with his world at their side and the fans pouring down their hatred. TYLER You and Krista share so much. Why not share a hair style? I stay out too late Got nothing in my brain That's what people say, mmm-mmm RENEE Could it be?! The entrance doors can't part fast enough, but when they do KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN dashes out from the backtsage as a California bat out of hell! A bat out of hell with a full head of golden hair! “YYYYYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! RENEE It is! COACH She's a back! QUEEN ESTHER HUZZAH! Lorelei huries out of the ring, knowing she'll incur a beating, as FLEX and Tyler muscle up and wait for Krista's arrival. The nine time world champion slides into the ring and ducks their double lariat, coming back to clobber FLEX with a dropkick to the face! “YYYYYYYEEAAAAAAAAA!” Tyler is decked by a punch from Krista and hurries out of the ring ASAP and his name ain't Blondie! Tyler speeds up the entrance ramp with Lorelei at his side, both realizing the pain and destruction they have summoned as Krista leans over the ropes, seething. RENEE Krista Isaodra Duncan is back and she wants revenge! RENEE In the words of my good friend and colleague Tony Brannigan, hello world! You are watching the longest running weekly episodic action adventure dramedy series in history, OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I'm Renee Young, joined as usual by Da Coach! COACH You know it, baby girl. We're just days removed from the Great Angle Bash and just minutes from the start of The Challenge: Singled Out~! RENEE Last year Hood Again successfully accepted The Challenge. This year The Challenge was issued to OAOAST World Champion Tyler Bryant who turned it down! COACH For good reason. He's already making top dollar being the champion. It's not like Hood Again's situation where both guys split the winner's purse. They had reason to chase the money that went with accepting The Challenge. Tyler had everything to lose and not a damn thing to gain accepting The Challenge. RENEE Well thanks to Lorelei DeCenzo THE FLEX has a lot to lose, because her big mouth gave Sophie the idea to put his Money in the Bank briefcase on the line for The Challenge! Clips from the participants being introduced at a press conference held this last Tuesday and streamed live on OAOAST.com airs. THE CHALLENGE: SINGLED OUT~! - Round robin; all teams face each other once - 15 minute time limit for all matches except the finals (30 minutes w/ a sudden death OT period if required) - Top 2 W/L records advance to finals at Angleslam - Just Win Baby! Draw as good as a loss - Tiebreakers determined by head-to-head record - Winner receives Money in the Bank contract valid for a OAOAST World Title shot + $500,000 RENEE The Challenge: Singled Out~! starts right now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted July 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 ***The Challenge: THE FLEX W/Lorelei DeCenzo Vs Baron Windels*** RENEE Flex is putting his Money In The Bank contract up for grabs in The Challenge. And we know he just got off a war with Ned Blanchard and now he steps up against Ned's- COACH Sidekick? RENEE No. His partner. The two veterans squared off with Baron immediately wanting to lift up Flex for a slam. But he got beat down to the mat and battered with stomps. Baron did fight back to his feet and went back at THE FLEX with punches. But the powerhouse hammered him with a lariat, then slammed him to the mat with a press! RENEE Flex Drop! COACH BW ain't no small man! Lorelei shouted instructions to THE FLEX which led him to lock Baron into a bear hug. But BW clobbered him with blows and escaped. Then Baron impressed the crowd as he managed to suplex THE FLEX over. COACH And FLEX ain't even close to a medium sized man! The Gunslinger then rocked FLEX with a Longhorn Elow. Or tried to as FLEX surprised him with a spine buster! RENEE Flex Buster! Flex might surprise here tonight with a win in his opening Challenge match. But Baron kicked out, and Lorelei gave referee Val Venis an earful about a slow count. FLEX left Baron to do that as he situated Baron on the top rope. But Baron fought him off and then rocked him with a diving lariat! RENEE Its Cloberrin Time! THE FLEX managed to escape Baron's effort to lift him with a fall away slam, and then rocked his foe with another lariat. But when THE FLEX tried to twist him with a gut wrench, BW fought free of the attack. On the attack, the San Antonio native blasted Flex in the gut with a boot and hit him with a Brigham Young Cocktail DDT for a big win! Winner: Baron Windels, via pinfall Lorelei was a sore loser and got on the microphone to taunt Baron. LORELEI Enjoy that win, Baron, we all now how much it means to the lesser Cobra. “BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Baron was pissed about those words, but was at least decent enough not to go after Lorelei or further beat on FLEX. THE CHALLENGE: SINGLED OUT~! PREMIERE WEEK SPECIAL! SUNDAY 8e/7c OAOAST GALAXY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted July 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 Prior to our next bout footage airs of the recent Challenge press conference to announce the participants where Rico de Janeiro and Remy Brazil confront Dem Bums over Tony Tourettes's entry in the tournament, claiming he stole Pete-O's spot, all while Pete stands in the background happily holding a box of VHS tapes. We learn a recently decreased relative left Tony T a collection of videos and $50,000! TONY T I like my porn in HD! And big titty chicks! Rico and Remy lose their shit over Pete trading his spot for old porn tapes. PETE This is Traci's best work, guys. Stuff you can't even find on the Internet! Back LIVE!, Tony T once again sported his fedora/baggy suit look suit. He also chomped on an unlit cigar. COACH Look at Mr. Big Shot, here. All thanks to some old geezer who croaked. Probably as an F-U to a son or daughter, 'cause why else who anybody leave money behind to this idiot? *** The Challenge: Tony Tourettes w/ Vinny Valentine vs. Bi-Curious George *** Making his OAOAST debut was the flamboyant character from OAOAST sister promotion SMUSH, Bi-Curious George, the native from Over The Rainbow who sports colorful face paint and loves to shower himself with confetti. RENEE A-MAZ-ING. Once the match began there was nothing curious about George's in-ring ability. He beat the shit outta Tony T, picking up the W in under 2 minutes following a Sling Blade which BCG calls... RENEE Swings Both Ways! Winner: Bi-Curious George, via pinfall. Following the match BCG made a "snow angel" using the confetti he showered himself with during his entrance. COMMECIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted July 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 ROADSIDE DINERMOLINE, ILLIONOISNIGHT Inside the diner a pudgy eldery waitress approaches the shellshocked diners of Cassidy Maguire and Gory Dragan. WAITRESS You two look like you've seen a ghost. GORY There are ghosts now?! CASSIDY No, you moron! There are not ghosts! Madam Waitress, I am parched, I'd like a coffee, heated to the tune of my summer tradition of 210 degrees. GORY That's burning! CASSIDY I like my pumpkin spice lattes extra hot, so please comply with my request. GORY Extra hot? Like I said- CASSIDY I'm sorry, does your personality description entail arguing with your social superiors, thereby delaying the moment at which they receive the irresistible, nutmeggy sweetness of the extra hot, no foam, pumpkin spice latte they've been thinking about all day? “AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” CASSIDY Oh what fresh hell is this? Bursting out of the kitchen is none other than ZOMBIE CLEM BUZZLEFOXER SR and his gang of zombie henchmen! CLEM BRAAAAINNNS BRAAAAAINNNSS ANNNDDD BIGGGGG BOOOTTTTY BIITTTCCHHHEESSSS! Clem pulls a big booty zombie close to him. BIG BOOTY ZOMBIE EAAAATTTTT Clemmmmmmm schlllonnnngggg! CLEM CASSIDY Okay I'm out. The zombies start attacking the wait staff as well as the customers, with Clem and his zombie lady making out! GORY Should we do something? CASSIDY Yes. That something is leave right the heck now! Cassidy and Gory haul ass out the restaurant as Clem and crew feast upon the humans! COMMECIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted July 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~! THIS PAST SUNDAYGREAT ANGLE BASH VICE & Joey The Rat use foreign object (Bosley's telescopic baton) to defeat The Party Brigade & Daisuke Motozaki for the 6-man tag championship. Post-match confrontation with the 3 Amigos. OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~! At the world famous interview lounge OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood spoke with the 3 Amigos who were troubled by how VICE and Joey The Rat won the 6-man titles, especially since it came at the expense of a good friend of theirs, Daisuke Motozaki. CHICK The referee couldn't do anything since he didn't see Bosley use his baton as a weapon, but WE can do something and we WILL! The 3 Amigos issued a challenge to the new 6-man champs, vowing to restore honor and pride to the championship. *** The Challenge: Logan Mann w/ Holly vs. Deuce Deuce Bigelow *** Fresh off a successful tour in Japan for OAOAST sister promotion SMUSH, Slaughterhouse's Deuce Deuce Bigelow stepped into a OAOAST ring for the first time since AngleMania XV and bounced Logan Mann around early. LOGAN Fuck it. *whistles to Holly, gestures to the back* Then to everyone's surprise Logan decided to hit the road, giving Deuce the W by count out. RENEE Are you kidding me?! Logan's taking his ball and going home! Winner: Deuce Deuce Bigelow, via count out. Before Logan disappears thru the curtain OAOAST cameras catch him telling Holly... LOGAN This is a marathon not a sprint. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted July 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 ***The Challenge: Mister Dick Vs Simon Singleton W/Molly Nerdly*** MOLLY Referee Nuznio, please check Jock for his steel cup. MISTER DICK You wanna see this twink Nunzio feel up this hard body so bad don't you? SIMON No need. I trust this incarnation of Jock. MOLLY Famous last words! At the very least Jock did engage Simon in his lockup effort, bur was annoyed that Simon's technical skill overwhelmed his might. So angry in fact, he kicked the turnbuckle posts in rage. COACH In a long tournament like this you can't get angry in the first minute. Another lockup was engaged, but this time Mister Dick swtiched over and started battering Simon with clubbing forearms. He then sucked him in a side headlock to show off his own technical skills, but then Simon showed of his power by back suplexing Mister Dick! Simon then rolled into a grounded facelock that Mister Dick had to fight out of. RENEE Looks like Agent 009 is making Mister Dick fight his match. Jock tried to engage in a slug fest with Simon, but the secret agent dropped him with a toe hold then held him in a leg lock. The Texas hardbody escaped by getting the ropes, but was not happy. MISTER DICK You gonna fight me like a man or grapple me like a queer? SIMON Steers and queers, eh? Jock didn't enjoy that comment and The Texas A&M alum beat on Simon, even throwing him into the corner and making him Bite His Shiny Metal Dick! MISTER DICK SUCK IT! Mister Dick pounded on Simon some more, but failed a press slam as Simon made an escape out the back. Jock tried for a Stiff Kick but missed and wound up getting the Living Daylights Kicked out of him! “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Simon went to the top rope and tried to drop his signature leg drop, but Mister Dick rolled out of the way. Both men took to six to get up, but when they got up they engaged in a fist fight. RENEE You don't want a loss, but a draw doesn't help you either. Simon switched behind Mister Dick and hit a German then tried to roll it. But Mister Dick snapmared him over, then pulled him up just to him with a full nelson slam! RENEE Pure Penetration! Simon kicked out at 2.9999999 which did not please Mister Dick at all. As he argued with the official, Simon hit him with that second German Suplex. Mister Dick pulled his weary body up and Simon tried to grab him with a choke suplex, but Jock elbowed him away and rocked him with his trademark discus punch. Simon didn't go down, which proved to be his undoing as Mister Dick grabbed him and blasted him with his lethal Jackhammer to take home the victory! Winner: Mister Dick, via pinfall. KRISTA SPEAKS!LATER TONIGHT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted July 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 ***The Challenge: Sumeragi Vs Lucius Soul W/Jade Rodez-Duncan and Melody Nerdly*** RENEE All of Japan is watching for SMUSH's own Sumeragi. There's a lot of turmoil in SMUSH, but Sumeragi beat TMW superstars for this right. And its gonna be awesome to see him make the most of this. But Sumeragi's eyes were on Jade and Melody, but all he had to buy them was 2,000 yen! Which isn't very much money! SOUL Jackie Chan, your two cents just bought you a pimp slap! Soul didn't slap up Sumeragi but he did give him a veteran workover, stymieing the youngester's efforts to get in a groove. In fact Sumeragi could never really get out the gate in this match, and the affair was mostly a Soul dominated contest. In the end the match only last 3 minutes and fifty seconds as Soul put down Sumeragi with a Fro2Sleep for a win! Winner: Lucius Soul, via pinfall RENEE I think Sumeragi has to use this match as a learning experience. COACH That's about all he can use it for. THE HOTTEST EVENT OF THE SUMMER RETURNS MONDAY NIGHT, AUGUST 29 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted July 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 *** The Challenge: Big Papa Thrust w/ The Freakazoids vs. Blaine Cayley w/ Samantha Cayley *** Opening week's marquee contest began with BPT going outside to flex his muscles for Sammi. BIG PAPA THRUST Enough with the brotherly love. Find out what it's really like to get freaky with the Big Bad Glutei Daddy! SAMMI Barf. BIG PAPA THRUST ... Suddenly BPT got wiped out by a suicide dive courtesy of Blaine. RENEE Make Samantha uncomfortable and Blaine'll make sure you're uncomfortable too! The intensity picked up as the match continued, but in the end it was BPT who emerged victorious after he countered Cruel Intentions 2 into a stun gun and followed with a wicked 1-2 combo of a release half-nelson suplex and 69 Driver! COACH He dead! Winner: Big Papa Thrust, via pinfall. After the match BPT taunted Sammi and told Blaine, "Welcome to the big leagues, bitch!" WEEK 1 STANDINGS BPT 1-0 BW 1-0 Mr. Dick 1-0 Deuce 1-0 Lucius 1-0 Bi-Curious George 1-0 Logan 0-1 Simon 0-1 THE FLEX 0-1 Blaine 0-1 Sumeragi 0-1 Tony T 0-1 COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted July 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 I stay out too late Got nothing in my brain That's what people say, mmm-mmm That's what people say, mmm-mmm I go on to many dates [chuckle] But I can't make 'em stay At least that's what people say, mmm-mmm That's what people say, mmm-mmm But I keep cruising Can't stop, won't stop moving It's like I got this music In my mind Singing, "It's gonna be alright." 'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off Heart-breakers gonna break, break, break, break, break And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off As “Shake It Off” plays and the fans let out huge rousing cheers, Krista Isadora Duncan breezes out, looking sharp in sunglasses and a yellow business suit. Actually she sort of looks like Big Bird with huge fake boobs, but don't tell her I said that! RENEE Krista Isadroa Duncan is back on HeldDOWN~! And am I glad I am not Tyler Bryant. The nine time world champion steps into the ring where she's greeted witch much love from the fans. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” KRISTA Tyler Bryant, you little bitch. When I'm through knocking your teeth out, you'll have your dentures on a nightstand and my strap on slamming against your bleeding gums. CROWD KRISTA I swear on all that is Jewish and good in this world, I do not actually want to hit you. No sir, not in the least is it my pleasure to beat on you. And why's that you may ask? Because you're the type of pussy that doesn't deserve a punch. You don't deserve a jab or a hook or an uppercut, or even a superkick or a yakuza kick, you're the type of pussy that deserves a back handed slapped reserved for only the mouthiest, nastiest, and most disease infested whores. You should have to earn my punches, but I think me punching you dead in the face is the only way you will properly understand the level of rage you have engendered in my dark frozen heart. RENEE We can tell for sure! KRISTA As everyone knows I am gorgeous, drop dead knockout, 4 hour porn dvd worthy gorgeous. I don't actually know if they still make 4 hour porn dvds, kids these days just want to bust their nut to a three minute twerk video on Jizztube, no appreciation for a long stroke. But, I digress, the point is I am gorgeous, young Tyler, and you have assailed my spank worthy beauty, and put the squash on millions of masturbatory fantasies world wide. So, its not just me you've offended, its the OAOAST Galaxy. Say something, you spineless twerps. “TYLER SUCKS! TYLER SUCKS! TYLER SUCKS!” KRISTA Good. Very good! Delightful even. Now, Tyler, honey, I know that you're not used to having a woman who's not a leather faced gold digging cunt appear with you in public, but I am willing to appear with you inside this very ring, on any date you want for a match. “YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” KRISTA But not just any match, I want a match that will remind you of the hell your life was, the hell your life is, and the hell your life will forever be thanks to me. I want to remind you of the hell of middle school where you had to bargain with puppy dog eyes to get handjobs from the autistic girl, I want to remind you of the hell you live in now knowing your bodyguard pens erotic poems about you on Literotica.com, and I you to think of the hell your life will now be that you foolishly saw fit to fuck with Miss California. I want you in a Three Stages of Hell Match! RENEE Oh wow! KRISTA And if you don't enter willingly, I will put you in the three stages of hell forcibly and stomp your orbital bones into thirds with my 1,000 dollar heels. “YYYYYEEAAAAAAAA!!” “Shake It Off” returns to the arena once more as the fans hail Krista's promise of violence and dooms and she soaks in their love. RENEE Ah! Tyler has woken the golden dragon! COACH This dragon is throwing fire. Damn. Even niggas at SuperCuts better be stressing, they might catch some strays. FADE TO BLACK... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts