OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 3/4/04

[Chanel #99]

OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

“Trust me” by pop hottie Lucy Woodward plays as we go through an UPDATED opening video! All traces of Northstar’s ex fiancé Alix have been edited out and in their place are clips from last nights X tourney. The video stops and we fade into the NEW LOGO!



We fade into the interior of the Edward Jones Dome in Saint Louis, Missoura !



The camera pans the crowd and focuses on a few of the more creative signs. Sings that read “Crystal iz hot”, “Damaramu=DamaGAY!”and “Calvin SHITstein. Yes ladies and gentlemen this is the future of America! Any way we go to HD’s announce team relaxing at Sofa Central and sipping on Margaritas.

Michael Cole: It doesn't get any more thrilling then this, folks! We've got blood-tingling action set for you tonight as we come live from the Edward Jones dome in Saint Louis Missouri! We're on the road to Anglemania but first we have to make it past the aftermath of Zero Hour. What a show that was! Zack Malibu verus Ragdoll. Boy, that was a classic contest! One for the ages. And what about the fallout from the X cup and CWM verus Hoff. I don't think that feud is over. Not by a long shot. Tonight, we're going see the Macho Man Randy Savage take on Northstar with Jenna Elfman as special guest referee! Plus the Minions continue their series with the GPX and we're promised another five star match! Folks, it doesn't get any better than HeldDOWN~!

Caboose: Can we talk now or are you going do this whole show by yourself? Coach, who’s on first?

Coach: What.

Caboose: I said who’s on first?

Coach: What.

Caboose: WHO’S ON FIRST?

Coach: WHAT!!!!!!!

Caboose: Please don't make me slit your throat.

*The OU Fight Song booms over the arena's speakers. The fans stand up and begin to cheer and cheer even louder as Ryan Smith and Charlie Hoss explode through the curtains.*

ANNOUNCER
The following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall! Making there way to the ring.....Charlie Hoss and Ryan Smith!

*the fans cheer loudly as Smith and Hoss enter the ring and play to the crowd*

COLE
These two men finally stuck it to Damaramu and his new friend Skull Mask at Zero Hour! And now Ryan Smith has his job back!

*suddenly the cheers turn to boos as all of the lights in the arena go out and "I Stand Alone" by Godsmack begins to play.*

ANNOUNCER
Making there way to the ring.......Skull Mask and Damaramu!!!!!

*the fans boo as a spotlight settles on the stage and Damaramu and Skull Mask make there way out. An eerie green light bathes the ring as the two men walk slowly with a murderous intent. They enter the ring and Damaramu steps onto the apron leaving Skull Mask to start the match. The lights go back up and Ryan Smith stands in the ring ready to start things with Skull Mask.*

COLE
Here we go. These two had an absolute war at Zero Hour.

*Skull Mask rushes in but Smith ducks low under his clothesline and delivers a couple of punches to the ribs. Mask is unaffected but Smith doesn't quit there. He hits the ropes and comes flying back in with a diving forearm. Mask does not go off of his feet but he's staggered. Smith goes in behind with a football like tackle taking the beast off of his feet. Mask tries to stand but Smith ends up on his back delivering expertly placed punches to the back of the head.*

COLE
Smith is all over Skull Mask!

CABOOSE
But I don't think he's hurting him at all!

*Smith takes a couple of steps back as Mask stands. Smith hits the ropes and Mask turns around and catches him wiht a hard spinebuster as he comes back in! Smith is flat on his back as Mask stands up. He steps up and starts standing on Smith's chest!*

COACH
He weighs over 300 pounds!

COLE
He'll crush him!

*Smith kicks wildly before the referee finally gets Mask off of Smith's chest. Smith tries to stand and Skull Mask decides to help him by yanking him up by his head and tossing him across the ring. However he tosses him right into his own corner. Smith rolls up and tags Charlie Hoss before falling onto the apron and clutching his chest.*

COLE
Here comes Hoss! The meeting of the big men!

*The fans all stand up and begin to cheer as Hoss and Mask come face to face in the middle of the ring. Charlie Hoss begins to punch but so does Skull Mask. Both men end up in a standoff trading blows before Skull Mask gets the better of Hoss. Mask backs him into the ropes and Irish whips him into the other ropes. Hoss comes back in and almost meets a big boot but manages to duck. He comes back with a tackle taking Mask down. Hoss is on top of him wildly punching him in the face. The ref finally seperates the two behemoth's and Hoss kicks him in the ribs when he tries to come back in. Mask is doubled over and Hoss sticks his head between his legs about to deliver the powerbomb. Mask however backdrops Hoss out of it and falls into a tag from Damaramu!*

COLE
Damaramu seeing action for the first time today.

*Hoss tries to stand but Damaramu dropkicks him in the face as he is coming to his feet. Hoss rolls back onto the mat and Dama begins to stomp him before the ref seperates them.*

CABOOSE
Come on ref! Let them go!

*Damaramu pulls Hoss up and then quickly brings him back down with a hard DDT. Dama hits the ropes and comes back in with a legdrop. Pin!

1!!!!!!!!



2!!!!!!!!!!!



Hoss kicks out!

The fans cheer as Hoss tries to come to his feet but Dama is behind him taking him over with a hard backdrop driver. Hoss once again lands on his head and Dama runs over dropping a couple of knees onto the side of Charlie's neck!*

COACH
That's a vicious move there.

COLE
Nothing fancy about it, but it's doing enough damage.

*Hoss tries to cover up but Dama continues to drop repeated knees into his neck as the fans go nuts. Dama stands up and rolls Hoss over onto his stomach. Dama firmly plants his knee into Hoss's back and slaps on the crossface! The fans go nuts as Hoss begins to scream in pain. Dama continues to wrench back on it as the fans begin stomping and cheering for Charlie Hoss. Ryan Smith stands on the apron clapping and stomping to support him. Charlie begins to show signs of life as he gets onto his knees. Dama begins to shake his head no but Hoss stands straight up and tosses Dama to the mat. Hoss falls to the ground and begins to crawl to his corner. Just as he reaches the corner Dama is there jumping on him. But it's to late! Ryan Smith his tagged in and the fans go nuts! *

COLE
Here we go! Dama and Smith!

*Smith begins to punch Dama backing him into the corner. Once in the corner Smith begins to deliver hard chops to Dama's chest. Dama walks out of the corner and Smith jumps to the second rope and then comes off dropping Dama with a bulldog! Smith goes for the cover!

1!!!!!!!!!!



2!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Kick out!*

CABOOSE
You aren't going to get Dama that quickly! He's never even been pinned in a match!

COLE
You're right. He has never submitted nor had his shoulders counted to the mat. His two losses come from tag matches where his partner was beaten!

*Smith sends Dama into the ropes and tries for a dropkick but Dama holds onto the ropes and Smith comes down on the back of his head. Dama laughs and begins to pull Smith up but he's playing possum! Small package!*

1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



3!!!!!!!!!!!!!NO!KICKOUT!

*Dama kicks out and both men are quickly to their feet with Smith beating him to the punch. Smith begins to deliver hard shots before going behind Damaramu and dropping him on his head with a german suplex! Dama looks out of it but Smith pulls him back up and sends him into the ropes. However Dama holds on to the rope and stays there. Smith is undaunted as he runs and comes with a flying body tackle into Damaramu. Both men end up on the floor! The referee goes nuts as they are both on the outside of the ring now wildly punching one another. Dama goes low and kicks Smith in the groin. Smith doubles over as Dama backs up to the guardrail. He tries to catch his breath but Smith is on him. Both men end up spilling into the crowd. The fans are rapid as they continue there punching and kicking stalemate through the crowd and into the back.*

COLE
Damaramu and Ryan Smith just fought out of the arena!

COACH
It'll take the National Guard to pull those two apart!

*Charlie Hoss is standing wondering what the hell just happened. He turns around into a Skull Mask big boot! Mask is on him choking him down on the mat. Hoss struggles and the referee is going nuts trying to pull Mask off of Hoss. Finally Mask backs off and Hoss comes to his feet nearly choking.*

COLE
This guy is a monster!

*Hoss turns around and Mask delivers a hard boot to his stomach. Hoss doubles over as Mask pulls him down into position! The fans all stand and begin to take pictures as Mask pulls Hoss up and quickly whips around with a helicopter sitout powerbomb! Hoss is driven into the mat! The ref goes down for the count!*

1!!!!!!!!!!!




2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


DING! DING! DING!


ANNOUNCER
Ladies and Gentleman the winners of this bout........SKULL MASK AND DAMARAMU!!!!!

*The fans boo as Mask stands up and then just walks out of the ring never showing any emotion whatsoever.*

COLE
Is he a zombie or what!? I've never seen his expression change. He's so calm, even when he's choking someone out.

*Hoss remains out cold in the center of the ring as we suddenly cut to the back where about 10 cops and 15 officials have finally seperated Damaramu and Ryan Smith. Both are still going crazy trying to get at one another.*

SMITH
You son of a bitch! You can't stop me now!

DAMA
You're dead! I'll kill you! I'll break you!

SMITH
Anglemania! ANGLEMANIA!

DAMA
I'm looking forward to it!

*FADE TO BLACK*

Voiceover: The following classic Anglemania moment is brought to be Gatorade. Gatorade, is it in you?

The Talentless Hosses Are Already In The Ring. D-Lo's Music hits and he comes down to ringside. Caboose's music plays but there's no Caboose. Finally D-lo goes backstage to get Caboose and a drunken staggering Caboose comes down to the Ring holding a beer bottle.

D-Lo starts off in the ring with Albert, he goes to lock up but his hands slip because of all the body oil on Albert. Albert takes control with a POwerSLam and a devasting Scientific move: The Punch To The Head.

Albert Tags In Bradshaw, who gives D-lo a Fallaway slam, he whips D-lo into the ropes but he ducks to soon and D-lo gives him a Rocker Dropper. D-lo goes to tag Caboose but Caboose is in no shape to wrestle. D-lo turns back to the match but Bradshaw gives him a low Blow, and he and Albert double team him while the Ref is distracted by Caboose's drunken antics.

Albert and Bradshaw toss D-lo into the ropes but D-lo digs deep for some INTENSITY~! nd clotheslines them. D-lo crawls towards Caboose who is chugging away on the beer. D-lo has no choice but to tag Caboose in. Caboose staggers into the ring (bottle in hand) as Bradshaw points and laughs. Caboose, staggers right into him, elbowing him in the stomach. Caboose then busts the bottle over Bradshaw's head. CABOOSE ISN'T DRUNK!!! SWERVE BAYBEE!!!!!!!

Albert rushes in but D-lo intercepts him and gives him the Skyhigh, Caboose climbs to top rope, and hits the Low Down.
1...2....3!!



Voiceover: Anglemania Three. March Twenty Eighth.

[Chanel #99]

(Return to Sofa Central)

Coach: ROTFLMAO! That wasn’t a moment, that was an entire match. Isn’t it funny that you knock Ragdoll for being a druggie when you showed up to your match at the biggest show of the year hammered out of your mind.

Caboose: No it’s not funny at all. But, I’ll tell you what would be funny. If I called you a pitiful, crotch licking, zit faced mental midget with the IQ of the skunk I ran over last week. NOW, that’s funny. See, I feel better already.

Cole: Let’s just go to our next segment.

"Higher" by Creed plays and out comes Jeremy Red with about six riot squad cops. Red comes to the ring, soaking in the boos. Jeremy Red grabs the microphone.

Red: I'm back after a few weeks off and I'll tell you why I was gone. I was trying to protect Mad Matt from my wrath. See Mad Matt, I don't want to cripple you. I just wanted to save your career. I see I failed to do that and you were injured once again last Sunday. Your knee, Matt. It's hurt. Just retire or I will have to beat you into retirement. Don't be stupid, Matt. The fans don't want to see you get injured Matt. Just don't make the match with me at Anglemania III like I know you may be thinking of and just bow out gracefully. Otherwise I will have to kick the shit out of you and retire you at the biggest show of the year.

The crowd boos. They start chanting: "We Want Matt."

Red:What the hell is wrong you middle class working peasants? Matt has enough money to fall back on from his one year in OAOAST then 20 years in whatever dead end job you are in. You want him to get injured? I still don't know why Matt listens to you common people. You people only see us professional wrestlers as entertainment for your amusements. Sure not all of us take a million risks for your amusement and you hate us for it. The name of the game is WINNING and making as much money as you can. But I suppose you eighth grade dropouts couldn't see that, because you don't know what a good high paying job is. Now, Matt, I bet you are wondering what is up with the riot squad cops. They are here to protect you from me just in case you do something stupid like attack me. That is what these idiots in the crowd want. They want you to beat me to a bloody pulp because I don't conform to there standards. They hope you charge out here and shut me up. Well I am not leaving this ring until I get an answer. Are you going to retire or am I going to have to beat you into retirement at Anglemania III?

Red waits in the ring with his arms folded.

"Beware, The Shadows of Madness."

"Higher" by Creed plays and out comes Mad Matt. Mad Matt is limping slightly, but he looks to be in good shape other then that. Matt grabs the microphone.

Matt: Are you finished yet ,Jeremy? The Shadow of Madness sat in his lockeroom and watched you drone on and on and on and yes you almost did end my career tonight. The Shadow of Madness was going to retire because he was afraid that by the time you were finished, he would be hitting old age. Basically you want the Shadow of Madness to retire or a match at Anglemania III. Well, let the Shadow of Madness think for a second....hmmm....The Shadow of Madness guesses that he will kick your ass at Anglemania III. In fact, let's have a preview now.

Mad Matt starts limping towards the ring and the riot squad cops stand in front of Mad Matt. Matt decks a cop and a second one swings his nightstick at Matt but Matt uses his reflexes to duck and another cop gets smacked. Matt rams the heads of two cops together and Matt enters the ring. Jeremy Red begs off but the sixth cop is sneaking in the ring with his nightstick raised. Matt turns around and this gives Jeremy Red the chance to clip Mad Matt in the back of the leg. Jeremy Red yanks a pair of handcuffs away from the riot squad cop and he is handcuffing Mad Matt to the top rope. He can't fight back. Jeremy Red has a nightstick and he is going to work on the knee of Mad Matt. Matt is swinging but Jeremy Red grabs a second pair of handcuffs. Red handcuffs the other hand of Matt on the top rope and Red twirls the nightstick. RED SMACKS MAD MATT IN THE FACE WITH THE NIGHTSTICK. Red raises the nightstick above his head but here comes sercurity. They pull a crazed Red but the Riot Squad cops are beating up the members of sercurity. Those aren't cops, those are hired henchmen of Jeremy Red. Red raises the nightstick and drives it down across the kneecap one more time before turning and leaving. More sercurity is in with tools to cut Mad Matt free.

(The camera returns its focus to Sofa Central.)

Cole: My word! What a heinous attack by that low down scoundrel Jeremy Red.

Caboose: Eh, Mad Matt deserved what he got. Red was actually standing up for him against these blood thirsty peons in the stands. But that chuckle head, Mad Mike or whatever had to come out and do his best Jean Calude Van Dam impression. He deserved what he got. And he got we deserved.

Coach: Fans, we'll see you next week.

Caboose: ?! We should improve your IQ by having your brain amputated. We just started the freaking show. What do you mean we'll see you next week? We'll see you after the break. I hear Silver Star's got some choice words for a few unhappy roster members.

(Go to break!)

Josh Matthews: What’s poppin, ya’ll? J.Math here to talk to you about Anglemania Three. We all know that show sold out on the first day. But did you know it sold out in Five Minutes! Five Minutes, that’s longer than Coach can last in bed. Guys, if you were one of the unlucky many to miss out on Anglemania tickets, then we’ve got the solution for you! From now until next week, OAOAST.com is offering you the chance to win an all expenses paid trip to Anglemania! Just swing over to the website and answer the hundred question OAOAST triva challenge! Winners get to go Anglemania and have a meet and greet with the HeldDOWN announce team! That’s right you can meet me, Josh Matthews, Master of the Mathillenium and stone cold pimp of the nation! Don’t delay, enter today!

(Return from break)

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)

You're now tuned into the muh'fuckin greatest

*CUE "Dirt off your shoulder"*

The lights dim and a silver spotlight in the shape of a snowflake star shines on the entrance stage. The crowd boo's lustily as Acolyte of Northstar Silver emerges from the back. He stands in the middle of the star and grabs his crotch as silver and black confetti shaped like stars rains down from the ceiling and softly lands next to him.

You gotta get that dirt off your shoulder
You gotta get that dirt off your shoulder
You gotta get that dirt off your shoulder

Cole: This the last person I ever wanted to see. If I never hear his raspy voice again, it'll be to soon.

Silver Star cockily struts down the entrance ramp. He stops to brush some imaginary dirt off his shoulder. On his way to the ring he spots young fan holding up a sign that says "Northstar got OWNED" Silver snatches the sign out of the frightened fan's hand! He tears it to shreds and throws the remaining pieces in the fan's face!

Your homey Hov' in position, in the kitchen with soda
I just whipped up a watch, tryin to get me a Rover
Tryin to stretch out the coca, like a wrestler, yessir
Keep the Heckler close, you know them smokers'll test ya
But like, fifty-two cards when I'm, I'm through dealin
Now fifty-two bars come it, now you feel 'em
Now, fifty-two cars roll out, remove ceiling

Silver Star rolls into the ring and grabs a microphone. He pauses to let the crowd get the anger out of their systems, then he begins his speech.

Silver Star: I'm a gangsta! Fuck all the player haters! And fuck all the players fakers! Wannabe gangsters! I can't imgaine living life pretending to be something you're not.

Cole: No comment.

Silver Star: I was born in the hood! Raised in the hood! Bleed in the hood and I'll die in the hood! I'm Thug Life 4 Life!

Crowd: You suck! You suck!

Silver Star: Now as a thug I've got to live and die by the code of a true P-I-M-P! And that code says that when someone messes with one of my boys, I have the duty, the RESPONSIBILITY, to return the favor! That's why I've got to send a shout out to Zack Malibu. Yo boZack, I'm going to throw you a curve and hit you with a fuck you. White bread faggot! You can't touch Northstar's shit! Another fuck you goes to the busters in the crowd who see fit to hang off your nuts!

(Silver Star grabs his nuts)

Silver Star: Why do I have beef with Zack Malibu? Because Zack Malibu reminds me of a butt! In fact his new name is "the butt"! The butt stinks, the butt's ugly and all it's good for is dropping loads of B.S.! BWAHAAA! Zack Malibutt, that's what I'll call you.
Caboose: Zack Malibutt? I love it!

Silver Star: Shout outs go to the butt's nut hugging boyfriend, Michael Cole. Cole the only thing your good for is keeping the butt's swamp ass clean! BWAHAA! You two chicken shit faggots, have the sandiest vaginas of any two peeps in the company! Every time my man Northstar wants to do something to better the OAOAST and improve the working conditions for everyone else, you two get your panties in a bunch and drop the dime like the deep throating little bitches that you are! What? What? You heard me! You heard me!

(Silver Star leans over the ropes and stares at a fuming Michael Cole)

Silver Star: I ain't done! I ain't done! Shout outs to one Alix Spezia, I never trusted the bitch! If she ever bothers to show her face around me, I'll smack the bitch back to the stone age! I'm not playing! Booger bear better stay in her cage, lest she wants a face to face with my pimp hand! What? What? YOU HEARD ME! Motherfuck Cole! Motherfuck Zack! Motherfuck Alix! Yo, here comes my left blow! And it's headed towards Candie.

Caboose: Yes! Someone's about to tell it like it is when it comes to Candie. She's gotten a free pass because she's Zack's girl. No more says Mr.Silver Star!

Silver Star: Candie had two things coming; a punch to the gut and a dick to the mouth. Last week she got both, one from Ragdoll and Northstar and the other from me! BWAHAAA! What? What? YOU HEARD ME! YOU HEARD ME!

The crowd boos heavily, but quickly turn to cheers, as Zack Malibu has stormed down the aisle and slid into the ring. As Silver Star turns to see the reason for the cheers...WHAM~! He's taken off his feet with a spear that folds him in two! Zack stands up, stomping away rapidly and viciously on Silver Star!

Caboose: This is wretched! These fans are cheering Malibu, when this was nothing more than a Pearl Harbor attack!

Coach: Then I guess that makes my main playa Zack Ben Affleck, right?

Cole: Uh...sure, Coach.

Coach: Daaaaaaamn, I should ask him how it felt to tap J Lo's ass then!

Zack pulls Silver Star to his feet, taking him to the corner and smashing his face into the top turnbuckle, then tossing him through the ropes and out to the floor, where he smacks the concrete hard upon landing! Zack steps through the ropes and hops down as well, taking Silver Star up and then hurling him into the guardrail, sending shockwaves through Silver Star's spine! Silver Star is curled up in a fetal position, as Zack shoves the timekeeper away and scoops up his chair, folding it up. Silver Star just starts to push himself up, when CRACK~!...he's met with a steel chair across his back! Silver Star is now flat out on the floor, and Malibu brings the chair down again...and again...and AGAIN in a scene reminiscent of Austin/Rock at Wrestlemania X7!

Caboose: What a pussy! Put the weapon down, preppy!

Cole: Look at Silver Star, I don't even think he's moving!

After several more whacks, Zack tosses the chair aside, and picks up the limp body of Silver Star, and rolls it into the ring. Malibu stands above him, looking down with feelings of disgust and anger expressed in his face. Zack reaches down and pulls Silver Star up, looking right into his glazed eye...then throws him into a facelock...POP DROP ON SILVER STAR~!

Caboose: Uncalled for!

The fans go ape, but Zack doesn't play to them. Instead, he calls for Michael Buffer to run the mic to him, which Buffer quickly does.

Zack: Northstar...last week, you crossed the line. You went into territory that you're going to wish you never stepped foot in. Surround yourself with all the trained monkeys you want, but you will not destroy this company, and you will not destroy my will. I built this place with my blood and sweat, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you spit on it any longer. And you wanna know the funny thing? (Zack chuckles a bit)...This was just a warning shot before the war starts.

Zack throws the mic down onto Silver Star, who is comatose in center ring. Malibu exits to no music, but to the cheers of the crowd, as he heads up to the locker room area.

Caboose: Defend that! Defend that, Michael Cole. Tell me your hero was right to leave Silver Star lying in the ring a bloody friggin mess. He could have a concussion, his neck could be broken, he may never wrestle again. But I’m sure you’ll tell me how Zack Malibu did the right thing.

Cole: I...I....don’t know what to say. I know Silver Star crossed the line with what he said, but a POP drop would’ve taken care of things. I’m at a loss for words. I don’t know what to say.

Caboose: Well I do. Zack Malibu always has and always will be an uptight, self important, mark for himself. He can dish it out, but he can’t take it. Let me tell you something, the OAOAST has never been so profitable. We were just breaking even before Northstar took over. And do you know who the first person was to get a raise? It was Zack Malibu. But of course Zack doesn’t care. All Zack cares about is being in the spotlight and having all the attention focused on him. For whatever reason, face licking lap dogs like yourself like the guy, but now you’re seeing the real Zack Malibu and the real Zack Malibu, barely qualifies as human.

Coach: Um, this would be good time to take a break!

(Go to break)

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)

(We go backstage to a random hallway. Northstar is seen pacing back and forth while Holly-wood is trying to settle him down.)

Northstar: Where is that son of a bitch? Where is he?

Holly-wood: Who?

Northstar: Zack! You saw what he did to Silver Star! Where THE FUCK IS THAT ASS HOLE SCUMBAG!

Holly-wood I know what he did! He's my boy friend, I'm pissed to. Calm do....

(An angry Zack appears on screen. He’s looking for a fight. He’s going to get one.)

Zack: You want me? You want got me!

(Northstar's eyes fill with fire and he charges at Zack with a spear! Zack counters with a guillotine choke and they both go down! Northstar slips out of Zack's weak grip and starts to hammer the always pissed off prep with furious punches! Zack catches Northstar in the mouth with a hard right hand and causing the GM to roll off Zack.)

Holly-wood: Security! Alix! Charlie! Wait! Neither of them are here! Help!

(Both men have gotten to their feet. Northstar coughs up blood while Zack stares at him with malicious intent. Zack goes a clothesline but Northstar ducks down catches Zack with a body blow! Zack clutches his stomach and Northstar nails him with a fierce shot to the temples! All of a sudden, John Singleton, Buff Bagwell, Josh Duhamel and a "3 Stages of Hell" camera crew appear.)

Josh: Are they getting this? Are they getting this?

John: They better be. Get a shot of the blood! Now! Close-up!

(Northstar grabs the back of Zack's hair and uses it to slam the former champ into the wall! Zack's able to get his hands in front of his face in the nick of time to block the blow. He kicks Northstar in the gut, then sends him down to ground with left cross. Buff runs into to try and help Northstar, but eats a clothesline! Furious Buff gets back up and head butts Zack! The move staggers him but doesn't prevent him from knocking Buff out with a wild haymaker!)

John: Josh, help him.

Josh: Uh, I have the flu.

(Northstar springs to his feet. Zack's facing away from him and Northstar uses the element of surprise to tackle his employee to the ground. Northstar fires more punches to back of Zack's head as his mouth continues to drip sickening amounts of blood. Northstar’s punches open a cut on the back of Zack’s head and his sandy blonde hair starts getting soaked with blood.)

Holly-wood: Edward, stop! You're not solving anything. You're not helping Silver Star and Zack's not the reason Alix dumped you.

(Northstar stops punching Zack and shoots Holly a hurt stare. She mouths the words, “Stop it.” causing Northstar to stand up and confront her. She tries to back away but Northstar grabs her thin wrist and holds her into place. BAM!! Northstar is struck on the side of the head with a camera by Zack Malibu! The blow only grazed Northstar's head, but it was strong enough to knock him to the floor)

Josh (going over to Zack with his fists raised): Hey man, that's...

(KAPOW, MOTHERFUCKER! Zack nails Josh in the chest with the camera, knocking him backwards and onto Northstar. Zack stares a whole through John Singleton then launches the camera at his head! John barely ducks in time. Zack lowers his head and walks off as we fade to black.)

(Go to break)

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)

BOOM!BOOM!BOOOOMBOOMBOOOMBOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!

Cue: “The Game” by Disturbed
The pyro nearly blows a hole in the roof as The Dark One, Axel appears at the entrance way, alone. He stops at the top of the ramp and does the crucifix pose to a chorus of boos, before walking down and getting on the apron, and steeping into the ring.

COLE
Well, here he is, Axel, fresh from a huge victory in that eight-man elimination match. Where’s Gunner?

CABOOSE
Axel told me today that he has quite a bit on his mind tonight, and he is going to address a certain individual – alone.

COLE
Gee, I wonder who that might be?

Axel grabs the microphone and walks into the centre of the ring, all the while the fans booing him heavily.

AXEL
Welcome to my world.

The crowd boos even louder, tired of his opening phrase.

COLE
He sure doesn’t have many friends tonight, does he?

CABOOSE
These people don’t appreciate him for the great man that he is. He doesn’t let there boos get to him Michael.

AXEL
Last night, I did what I had to do, to prove a point to somebody. I guaranteed victory last week on HeldDown, and what did I do? I won. I beat Knight, I beat Panther, I beat K Money, I beat AJ Flaire, the damn X Champion. I beat them all one more time, to prove a point.

CABOOSE
He’s right guys, he beat The Firm.

COACH
He never pinned PK or Panther though.

CABOOSE
He didn’t have to dumbass; he had a hand in their eliminations though.

AXEL
Last week, I promised a certain individual that I would beat her friends senseless, and I did. I had four guys to beat, and that individual had one guy. But you couldn’t even get that right, could you Crystal? All this crap about how good you are in the squared circle, how you are the best female wrestler alive today, and how you could, one day, be the OAOAST Champion. That’s all it is Crystal, CRAP. When I met you, you were a struggling independent worker with just a year of experience. I took you under my wing, I taught you how to succeed. I made you who you are today.

The crowd continues booing, and they begin a loud ‘ASS-HOLE’ chant. Axel pauses, and smiles.

CABOOSE
That’s right guys, Axel made Crystal who she is. She owes it to him to be by his side.

AXEL
That’s right people, chant that all you want. You are living a lie. You are just sheep, following whoever the group follows. One person cheers Zack, you all cheer Zack. One person cheers Crystal, so you all do. I could care less what you think. You didn’t make me, and you didn’t make Crystal. Hard work, and being the best made me who I am, so I owe you all NOTHING.

The ‘ASS-HOLE’ chant grows louder, to the point where Axel has to stop speaking again, because he can hardly be heard over the capacity crowd chanting the obscenity.

AXEL
So that’s why, Crystal, you have to join me again. Face it, you NEED me. You need me to win. You need me to go places. Without me, you are nothing. So Crystal, I’m calling you out. One last chance Crystal, one last chance to accept my invitation. If you don’t, well, it’s your funeral. As I have said before, I’ve beaten you before, and I’ll do it again. You are no ma-

Cue: “I’m just a Girl” by No Doubt

COLE
Crystal has heard enough!

Crystal suddenly appears at the entrance way and walks down the ramp with a look of distain on her face. She slides into the ring, and walks straight up to Axel, staring straight into his eyes. Crystal grabs the microphone while Axel is still holding onto it, and pulls it toward her mouth.

CRYSTAL
Adam. I. Am. Not. Joining. You. Got it?

The crowd roars in approval, as Axel pulls the microphone back to him.

AXEL
Well Crystal, my dear, I only have one question before I do what I have to do. Why won’t you join me? Why won’t you re-join the most powerful force that the OAOAST will ever see? Why will you give up the opportunity of a lifetime? Are you jealous of me?
CRYSTAL
Adam, re-joining you would be the biggest mistake that I ever make. You corrupted me before, and I know you will try and do it again. I won’t let that happen. I won’t join you, you egotistical, arrogant, evil SON OF A BITCH!

COACH
Yeah! You tell him!

AXEL
My, what a mouth we have there. Well Crystal, if that’s the way you want it, prepare for a beating.

CRYSTAL
Okay, bring it on. You are so sure you can beat me, so put your money where your mouth is, you asshole. Let’s go, right here, right now.

The crowd cheers at Crystal’s comments, changing their ‘ASS-HOLE’ chant to one of ‘FUCK HIM UP CRY-STAL, FUCK HIM UP! CLAP CLAP!’

COLE
The crowd wants to see it, we want to see it, so let’s get it on!

Axel smiles again, an evil, arrogant smile, and steps away from Crystal as she gets ready to fight him. He brings the microphone to his lips once again.

AXEL
Crystal, Crystal, Crystal. So naïve, so crass with your comments. You disappoint me, and you are starting to anger me. I don’t want to fight you here! These people don’t deserve to see it. Plus, you aren’t ready. How could you possibly be ready for The Dark One? No Crystal, I want to WRESTLE you at the biggest show of all time. Think about it sweet cheeks, AngleMania Three, live, Sunday night, March 28, the night that Axel humiliates Crystal in the centre of the ring. The night that Axel proves that Crystal needs him.

CABOOSE
Yeah! That’s what I want to see!

Crystal steps forward and snatches Axel’s microphone out of his hand.

COLE
Wow! Crystal isn’t afraid of Axel!

CRYSTAL
You’re on. You and me at AngleMania Three. I’ll humiliate you. I’ll show the world why I don’t need you Axel, why you are worthless to me. I’ll show the wo-

Axel floors Crystal with a hard slap to the side of the face, before she can finish her sentence!
CABOOSE
Wow! What a shot!

Axel stands over Crystal and behind taunting her, picking up the microphone again.

AXEL
You want to humiliate me? You think I’m worthless? How dare you, you selfish BITCH! I made you! I FUCKING MADE YOU! YOU NEED ME! No matter how much you try and convince yourself otherwise, YOU NEED ME CRYSTAL! I WILL BEAT SOME SENSE INTO YOU AT ANGLEMANIA! You WILL feel the Pain, Taste the Pain, and when its all said and done, the dust has settled and the smoke has cleared and the sun fades into darkness, I WILL MAKE YOU LIKE THE FUCKING PAIN!

COACH
Somebody help her!

Axel grabs Crystal by the hair and then puts her on his shoulders! Axel drops Crystal down head first for a Death Valley Driver!

COLE
This is a sick display. Axel has gone insane!

Out of nowhere, Panther rushes into the ring, and takes Axel down with a clothesline!

COACH
Panther has come to save Crystal!

Panther measures Axel as he gets up, Axel turns around, and Panther tries for the Panther Cutter… but Axel pushes him off, and rolls out of the ring, eliciting loud boos from the crowd! Axel starts to walk back up the ramp, microphone in hand, as Panther attends to Crystal!

AXEL
You want a piece Panther? You want to try me in this mood? Fine, how about we have ourselves a match tonight?

COLE
That sounds like a great idea!

Panther nods his head, and mouths the words, “Bring it on”.


AXEL
Alright then, how about you ut your little belt on the line, I feel like some gold today!
Panther nods again, and yells that he is going to Kick Axel’s ass.

AXEL
Sounds good tough guy, I’ll see you in the ring.

Cue: “The Game” by Disturbed

COACH
Well it looks like its going to be Panther versus Axel, Twenty-Four Seven Championship on the line, TONIGHT!

COLE
What a match that will be! A few scores to settle in this one! We’ll be back!

(Break time!)

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)

MC: Now it's time....wait, something's happening in the back! Let's cut to it!

(Cut to the backstage area, where we see Brock Auustin attacking St. Andrew, with a forklift parked in front of St. Andrew's Cathedral to keep Gibraltar parked inside. Rick Heyross is screaming his lungs out at Andrew.)

HEYROSS: YOU SON OF A BITCH! How dare you screw me or my monster over?!?! (Gibraltar pulls Andrew off of the ground, and lifts him over his head while choking him with both hands) I will not REST until you either die or sign that contract to make Brock versus Gibraltar a reality!

ANDREW: NEVER!

HEYROSS: You hear that, Brock? Andrew wants to be murdered in front of an audience? Okay, we can do that! (Brock and Heyross walk forward, heading to the ring, as Brock is holding Andrew over his head in a throttle)

COACH: WHAT? They're heading out here?

Brock and Heyross come storming down the ramp. When they get to the ring, Brock tosses Andrew into the ring. Andrew slowly tries to crawl away as Brock and Rick enter the ring. Auustin is able to grab Andrew by the ankle, and drags him to the middle of the ring. Brock then pulls Andrew up to his feet, and starts clubbering him with stiff, hammer forearms to the side of Andrew's head.

(We cut backstage, where Minion Nathaniel, who wasn't in the Cathedral at the time, is behind the wheel of the forklift, and moves it so that Gibraltar can exit the locker room. Gibraltar heads to the ring.)
Brock lifts Andrew onto his shoulders, getting ready for the F-Stunner-5. Heyross is handed a mic by a ring crew member.

HEYROSS: Now, you have two choices: either you sign the contract, which IS in my back pocket, or Brock here will drop you on your skull with the F-Stunner-5 until you sign for the match! Which one will it be?

(Just then, Gibraltar comes storming down the ramp.)

HEYROSS: Listen, big man! If you take one more step, your spiritual leader dies! (Gibraltar paces back-and-forth, not knowing whether to follow his instinct or stay in place) Now, Andrew....yes, or no?

ANDREW: NO!!

HEYROSS: You sure? I mean, it won't just be one F-Stunner-5. It won't even be two F-Stunner-5's. It'll be as many F-Stunner-5's as it takes before you literally die inside of this ring! And as your decaying corpse lies in the middle of the ring, I'm going to piss all over whatever it is you stood for in life!

ANDREW: YOU BASTAR....

HEYROSS: I'm guessing we're going to get a legalized murder right here tonight! Brock, drop him!

Auustin does the spin for the F-Stunner-5, but Andrew suddenly lets out a loud scream. Heyross orders Brock to stall for a second.

HEYROSS: Change of thought, Andrew?

ANDREW: You got it! Whatever you want! Just let me down! (Heyross gives the okay; Brock gently lets Andrew onto his feet.)

HEYROSS: Now sign this! (Heyross pulls a contract out of Andrew's contract, and Andrew signs it) One more thing, Andrew...(Brock charges forward and nearly knocks Andrew's head off with a KILLER clothesline) Thanks, jackass! (Heyross and Brock bail as Gibraltar charges into the ring)

COACH: It's now official: at Anglemania III, you will see the "Battle of the Giants", as Gibraltar will square off one-on-one with Brock Auustin!

CABOOSE: That will, both literally and physically, be huge!

MC: While we get things settled down here in the building, let's go to a commercial break. More hD~! in three!

(Go to break)


(Return from break)
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP~!

::The crowd pops for the announcement, but the cheers quickly fade to boos as "The Game" by Disturbed hits the PA system. The arena lights dim and a bright red spotlight shines upon the entrance::

Tell me exactly what am I supposed to do?
Now that I have allowed you TO BEAT ME
Do you think that we could play another game?
Maybe I could win this time!

I kinda like the misery you put me through
Darling you can trust me COMPLETELY
If you even try to look the other way
I think that I could KILL this time…

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOBOOBOOMMM~!

The arena is rocked by a series of pyro blasts, and the crowd wildly as Axel steps out from the locker room and walks out to the edge of the stage. He has a sinister smile on his face as he raises his arms in a crucifix pose, soaking up the reaction from the crowd.

Cole: There he is, fans! The man who this past Sunday at Zero Hour outlasted The Firm in an 8-man elimination tag match! The soul survivor for Team Torture! It's Ax--OH!!!!!!

Coach: WHAT THE HELL??!!?

::Suddenly, a dark figure rushes out from the locker room area and nails Axel in the back of the head with a running forearm, sending him rolling halfway down the ramp. The music stops abruptly, the arena lights return to normal, and the crowd pops mildly when they get a glimpse at Axel's attacker!::

Cole: THAT'S CHRIS BRYTE!

Caboose: WHAT?!
::A group of officials rush out from the locker room and attempt to restrain Bryte, but he manages to shake them loose. On the ramp, Axel quickly scrambles to his feet, but before he can figure out what hit him, Bryte charges at him, catching him with a clubbing forearm that sends the Dark One rolling further down the ramp. Bryte rushes right in on Axel, managing to catch him with three hard stomps to the side of the head before the officials rush him again and manage to pull him off of Axel::

Cole: Ladies and gentlemen...Chris Bryte has just exploded on Axel!

Caboose: I...I can't...what the hell is this about, Cole?!

Cole: Well...a couple of weeks ago, Axel hit Tina, Chris Bryte's girlfriend in the head with a chair! He gave her a concussion, and last week, Chris Bryte promised to make Axel pay! He vowed revenge, and it looks like he's getting it right here!

Caboose: Look out, Axel! He broke free again!

::Indeed, Bryte has again managed to free himself from the officials' grasp and charges at Axel once more, this time staggering him with a right hand to the head. A second one sends Axel back into the guardrail, at which point Bryte grabs Axel's left arm goes for an Irish whip. Axel reverses the momentum, however, sending the rookie's hip and back careening into the steel stairs. The crowd boos in the background as Bryte falls into a seated position. Axel takes a moment to gather himself, then, after sprints towards Bryte, ramming his right knee into the bridge of his nose, smashing the youngster's head up against the the stairs. The crowd collectively cringes as Bryte falls forward, holding the back of his head::

Caboose: Did Chris Bryte just make the biggest mistake of his career or what?!

Cole: Axel has turned this thing around...Bryte is hurt out here...we're scheduled to have a 24/7 match right here...oh c'mon! Wait a second...

::The crowd clamors as Axel grabs the top part of the stairs and lifts it high above his head. He then turns and walks over to the fallen Chris Bryte, who's trying to get his wits about him on the floor::

Cole: Oh no, he wouldn't! Axel...c'mon!

Caboose: He brought this on himself, Cole! Remember that!

Cole: But he's just a rookie! C'mon...Axel, don't...

**CLANG**

Cole: NO!!!!!!!! MY GOD, NO!!!
::Axel drops the steel stairs right on the back of Bryte's head, drawing a "Holy shit" chant from the crowd. Axel smiles sinisterly as officials rush to Bryte's aid. He's not moving a muscle, and appears to be bleeding from the back of the head. As officials check on the unconscious wrestler, Axel turns towards some nearby fans and does his crucifix pose, drawing boos throughout the arena::

Cole: I can't believe that Axel did that! He may have just crushed this rookie's skull!

Caboose: And whose fault is that?! Who told Chris Bryte to come out here and pick a fight with Axel?!

Cole: The man attacked his girlfriend, Caboose!

Coach: Yeah, 'Boose. You and I both know that if Axel had popped your blow-up doll, you'd be right down there doing the same thing!

Caboose: You keep it up and Bryte won't be the only one needing help out here!

::Axel continues to taunt the crowd as officials and EMT's look after Bryte. By now, Tina has made her way out to ringside, and she appears to be distraught. She shoves her way through the host of officials and kneels down next to Bryte, clutching his head in her hands. Suddenly, Axel turns back Bryte, and wide grin comes across his face.::

Coach: What the hell is he thinking?

Cole: Axel...he's headed back over towards Bryte. What is he...oh no! C'MON! NO, DAMN IT! NO!

::Axel shoves his way through the officials, grabs a handful of Tina's hair and yanks her back to a standing position. The crowd boos wildly as Axel drags her over to the ring apron and rolls her into the ring. Axel follows her in and springs to his feet, and charges at Tina, catching her in the side of the head with a mafia kick that sends her stumbling into the ropes. Tina rebounds, however, coming back at Axel with two hard forearms to the jaw. Axel quickly halts her offense with a knee to the gut, doubling her over. He then grabs her by the head and pulls her into a standing headscissors, causing the crowd to clamor::

Cole: What in the hell is he planning to do to her?

Caboose: I dunno, but I've got a feeling that the lovebirds here are gonna be sharing a hospital room very soon.

::Axel wraps his arms around her waist and lifts Tina up into powerbomb position, holding her up over his shoulder to to make her think about it. Tina kicks her legs violently, desperately attempting to free herself from Axel's grasp, but its no use, as Axel begins walking her over towards the ropes...

and...

Cole: Don't do this, Axel! Don--

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!**

The arena is rocked by another HUGE pyro blast, and "State Prop (You know us)" hits the PA system. The blast startled Axel, causing him to drop Tina, and he quickly turns towards the entrance, where Panther appears with the 24/7 Title belt through a thick cloud of smoke. He walks towards the edge of the stage, lays down the 24/7 belt in front of him, and motions for Axel to "bring it!" Axel grins, shoves Tina aside then slides out to the arena floor.

Coach: What's Axel doing here?

Cole: I dunno. Panther telling him to bring it, but Axel's headed over to the timekeeper's table...oh boy.

Axel shoves the timekeeper aside, snatches his chair and starts around the ring to meet Panther. Meanwhile, Tina slips back out to the floor to attend to Chris Bryte. Panther's still up on the stage waiting for Axel.

Caboose: Panther told Axel to bring it, but I don't think that was the "it" he had in mind.

Cole: Axel with that chair, but Panther's not backing down though.

When Axel reaches the base of the ramp, Panther flips him off, then sprints down the ramp to meet him. Axel then starts up the ramp to cut him off, and just before the two meet at the halfway point, Axel rears back with the chair and takes a big swing...


...BUT PANTHER DUCKS UNDER THE SHOT! Axel turns to face Panther, but is met with a barrage of right hands by the 24/7 Champ, knocking the chair from Axel's hands and sending the crowd into a frenzy. Panther's music suddenly stops, and the referee calls for the bell.

**DING DING DING**

Cole: There's the bell, fans! This match is finally underway! Panther and Axel! And look at Panther go to work! Right hands...Panther firing off those rights to the side of Axel's head--OH NO!!!

No sooner than Cole spoke, Axel caught Panther with a thumb to the eyes, halting his offense. He then grabs a hold of Panther's hair charges forward, yanking Panther down, causing him to hit the back of his head on the steel ramp. The crowd boos once more as Panther begins rolling around on the mat, clutching the back of his head. Axel gives his a quick stomp for good measure, then starts back down the ramp, where Tina and the officials are still attending to Chris Bryte.

The head official approaches Axel, attempting to keep him away from Bryte, but Axel grabs the official by his shirt and flings him hard to the floor.

Cole: HEY! WAIT A MINUTE, DAMN IT! HE JUST STRUCK AN OFFICIAL!

AND HE STRIKES ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER!!! AND ANOTHER! He throws a right hand in Tina's direction, backing her up a step, then reaches down and grabs the steel stairs once again.

Cole: Oh no! We just saw this with Chris Bryte...don't tell me he's gonna do the same thing to Panther!

That's what he's thinking. He lifts the stairs then then turns around to face Panther...


...BUT PANTHER DROPKICKS THE STAIRS BACK INTO HIS FACE, causing him to fall with the stairs landing on his head. The crowd pops as Panther does a double stomp onto the stairs, smushing Axel underneath them. He does it a second time, then plays to the crowd as Axel shoves the stairs off of his head. As Axel tries to get his wits about him, Panther walks back up the ramp and retrieves the chair that Axel stole from the timekeeper. The crowd begins to clamor as Panther turns towards Axel with a sinister smile.

Coach: Oh boy!

Cole: Panther's got that chair!

He motions for Axel to get back to his feet, and he does so, slowly. Panther starts towards Axel with the chair, and when he reaches a vertical base...

**WHAM**

Cole: DEAR GOD!!!!!

Panther damn near caves his skull in with a BRUTAL chairshot. Axel's body falls to the floor, and Panther turns his back to him, extending his arms in a crucifix pose, drawing a loud pop from the crowd.

Caboose: Oh, that's just uncalled for!

Cole: Panther damn near took Axel's head off with that chair...

Coach: And it looks like Axel's bleeding!
Indeed. Axel groggily sits up and feels his forehead, noticing a small trickle of blood when he pulls back his hand. Before Axel can really digest the situation, Panther reaches down, grabs a handful of his hair and yanks him back to his feet. Panther drives his right knee into the forehead of Axel, then does the same with the left, causing he Dark One to stagger back a bit. He then grabs a hold of Axel's left arm and Irish whips him into the guardrail, sending him in with such force that Axel flips over, hitting the small of his back off the steel before falling facefirst onto the thin mats on the floor. Panther nods his head in approval, and as officials FINALLY begin carrying Chris Bryte back to the locker room, Panther moves in on Axel, grabbing him by the hair once more and yanking him back to his feet.

In the front row, there's a fairly attractive hispanic girl (approximately 16 or 17 years old) holding up a sign that reads "PANTHER'S FUTURE WIFE". Upon noticing the sign, Panther smiles and winks at her, causing her to scream in excitement. This also gives Axel the opportunity to fire off a HARD elbow to the gut of the 24/7 Champ. A second one doubles Panther over, at which point Axel grabs him by the hair and tosses him headfirst into guardrail. Panther holds his head momentarily, then turns back to face Axel, who charges in with an attempted clothesline...


...BUT PANTHER DUCKS IT, slipping behind the Dark One, hooking him up and bringing him back with a Side Russian Leg Sweep INTO THE RINGPOST!!!!!!!!!!

Coach: DAAYYUM!!!!!

Axel's head hits the post with a sickening thud, and he staggers forward, clutching the back of his head as Panther eyes him intently, measuring him for his next move. Dazed, Axel turns back to Panther and lets loose a wild right hand, which Panther ducks it, catching the challenger in T-Bone position. Panther nods to the fans (causing them to pop once again), turns Axel around, and after making him think about it for a moment, T-Bones Axel over the guardrail, dropping him on the back of his head in the front row. Panther raises his right fist into the air, causing the crowd to erupt with cheers, and chants of "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" echo throughout the arena.

Cole: It's been virtually all Panther thus far in this one.

Caboose: Oh yeah. Sure...after breaking every rule in the book. After Chris Bryte and Tina attacked Axel before the bell...

Cole: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Caboose: Please, Cole. I bet Panther sent those two out here to try and soften Axel up before the match, but it won't work! I guarantee you, Michael, by the end of this match, we're gonna have a brand new 24/7 Champion.

As Axel tries to gather himself in the front row, Panther walks over to the base of the ramp and grabs the steel stairs that Axel used earlier on.

Cole: Uh oh!

Caboose: See what I mean?! This damn Panther is breaking every rule in the book.

Cole: He's about to break something, but I don't think it's a rule. Panther's got those stairs...Axel's out of it in the front row!

Axel, still dazed, pulls himself back to his feet. Suddenly, Panther darts in his direction, carrying the heavy stairs over his shoulder. He LAUNCHES the stairs right at Axel's head...BUT ALAS...

Cole: DAMN IT!!!!!!!!

Axel grabs that female Panther fan sitting in the front row and pulls her into the way. The stairs catch her right in the temple, KOing her on impact. Panther's jaw drops in shock, and the crowd is FUCKING LIVID!!!!!!!!

Cole: That son of a bitch!!! That no good son of a bitch!!! Can you believe what he's done?!

Caboose: No I can't! I can't believe that Panther would attack that young girl like that!

Cole: WHAT?!

Caboose: You saw it, Cole! Panther hit that poor girl in the head with the steel stairs!!!

Cole: AXEL PULLED HER INTO THE WAY!!!!

Caboose: I didn't see that!

Cole: What the hell do you mean you didn't see it?! It was as plain as day! That low down, no good...and look at him! He's laughing! Axel is laughing!

Indeed. As nearby event staff attend to the fallen girl, Axel stands above her body laughing at Panther. The camera does a close up on Panther's face, where a look of fury builds up in his eyes. He once again darts in Axel's direction, leaping over the guardrail AND the event staff, taking Axel to the concrete floor with a plancha. Panther mounts Axel on the floor, and rains down a series of right hands to his bloody forehead. Panther then brings Axel back to his feet, where he catches him with another knee to the head. Axel fires off a right hand to the side of the head, which Panther responds to with a right of his own. Axel hits Panther with another right, but Panther responds again. Axel! Panther! Axel! Panther! We've got a slugfest in the crowd, which Panther puts an end to that with a boot to the midsection. Panther then walks over to a nearby fan and grabs a bottle of beer, then turns back towards Axel with a look of fury on his face. He then rears back, preparing to strike Axel with the bottle...
...but Axel nails Panther with a hard uppercut to the groin. Panther drops the bottle and doubles over in pain, allowing Axel to catch him in a front face lock, and drive him to the concrete with an EVENFLOW DDT!!!!!!!

Coach: Did you hear Panther's head smack off that concrete?!

Cole: I heard it alright. Panther is down...Axel...he just went back down. Apparently, he's still feeling the effects of Panther's onslaught from earlier on. We've got a fan down...

Caboose: Thanks to that no good Panther. I swear, he's nothing but a worthless wifebeater!

Cole: Stop it! Fans, we've gotta take a break! Don't touch that dial...








I SAID DON'T TOUCH IT, DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!! Our tapes are rolling...if anything happens during the break, we'll bring it to you on the other side.

***COMMERCIAL***

When the break ends, we see Axel seated in a corner of the ring, with both feet pressed up against the ringpost. He's using a leather belt to choke Panther, who's on the outside up against the ringpost, desperately attempting to escape as Axel pulls back on the belt as much as he can.

Cole: Fans, welcome back to hD~! This 24/7 Title match continues, and as you can see, the tide has turned drastically. Axel is in control, and let's show you how it happened, folks! This occured during the break...

***DURING THE BREAK***

Cole: Fans, this was the scene. Panther was down on the outside. Trying to get back to his feet, and there you see Axel with that chair...and...

BOOOM!

Cole: Axel bent that chair over the head of Panther. One of the damndest shots I've ever seen, and there you see the results! Panther's busted wide open thanks to that brutal shot from Axel!

The HeldDOWN~! logo scrolls across the screen as we cut back to LIVE ACTION, where we see Panther down on one knee on the arena floor. He's gasping for air as Axel stands on the ring apron above him, wrapping the leather belt around his fist, with the buckle right over his knuckle.

Cole: And fans, we're back to live action. Panther's trying to get some air back into those lungs, but watch Axel! Axel's got that belt around his fist...what's he gonna do?

As Panther pushes himself back to his feet, Axel rears back and leaps off the apron, catching Panther right in the forehead with the buckle, sending him back down to his knees, clutching at the wound on his forehead. Panther shakes his head to try and clear the cobwebs, but Axel doesn't give him any room to breathe. He kicks Panther hard in the gut, causing him to roll over into a seated position. Then, Axel gets behind Panther, bends his head backwards, and begins pounding the 24/7 Champ with hard right hands, with the metal belt buckle bouncing off of Panther's head with each shot. He then uses that pointy part on the buckle (I have no clue what it's called, but you know what I'm talking about, lol) to dig into Panther's open wound, causing Panther to scream in pain.

Panther quickly away from Axel, scrambling over towards the ring apron in an effort to create some distance between he and the challenger. Axel's right back on him, though, with a boot to the small of the back, and a HARD belt shot to Panther's back, which again causes him to scream in pain. Axel then grabs the back of Panther's jersey and the waistband of his shorts and rolls him into the ring. Axel follows him in, and continues his assault on Panther.

Cole: And fans, this thing has just made it into the ring...for what I believe is the very first time.

Caboose: And I've got a feeling it won't be in there long. Watch Axel...

**CRACK**

Axel whips Panther across the back with the belt, causing Panther to cringe in pain.

**CRACK**

Axel whips him again. Panther again scrambles back to his feet and stumbles into the ropes. With Panther draped across the top rope, Axel moves in on him with the belt.

**CRACK**


**CRACK**


**CRACK**

Three HARD shots across the back of Panther. Axel then wraps the belt around Panther's throat, choking him out once again. Panther flails his hands wildly, trying to escape by any means, but before Panther can find an escape, Axel drags him to the ropes and tosses him over the top, holding onto the ends of the belt to hang him!

Coach: Axel's taking Panther apart with that belt!

Caboose: Are you surprised by this?! What? Did you think Panther would just come in here and have his way with Axel?

Coach: Well...no.

Caboose: Of course not! Axel's one of the most dangerous men here in the OAOAST. He was the sole survivor this past sunday, and in a few moments...I can feel it! I've got that gut feeling that he's gonna be the brand new 24/7 Champ!

Cole: That may be the case. Panther is fading...ever so slowly.

Indeed. Panther's arms and legs, which once flailed rapidly, are now moving at a snail's pace. Fans begin cheering and stomping in unison, hoping to rally Panther back into it, but it doesn't work, as Panther's body goes completly limp. At this point, the referee climbs out onto the apron and gets up in Panther's face, trying to see if he can continue, as Axel continues to pull on that belt.

Cole: Axel's pulling on that belt so hard, he may break Panther's neck here.

Caboose: I think he's out, guys.

The referee raises Panther's arm once...




AND IT DROPS!!!!!!!!





He raises it a second time...






AND IT STAYS UP!!!!!!! The crowd pops in the background.

Coach: I wasn't expecting that.

Cole: Me either. Panther's trying to come alive. Trying to combat this...

Panther hooks the top rope with his hands, using them to try and get himself back onto the apron. Once he's able to get his feet under him, he stand up on the apron, and begins firing off reverse elbows to the side of Axel's head, but he doesn't release his grip. Desperate to escape, Panther grabs the belt with both hands and drops from the apron, using his momentum to snap Axel throat first across the top rope. The crowd pops as Axel falls backwards, landing parallel to the ring ropes as Panther gasps for air on the arena floor. After a couple of deep breaths, Panther hops back into the apron, and pulls himself into a standing position. With Axel down on the mat, Panther then leans back and propels himself over the top rope with an attempted hilo...



BUT AXEL COUNTERS BY GETTING THE KNEES UP!!! Panther clutches his back as he climbs to his knees, then falls face first onto the mat. The crowd boos as Axel sits up, looks at Panther and cracks another smile.

Cole: Panther just can't seem to catch a break here. It has been all Axel since we returned from break, and Caboose...if this keeps up, I may have to agree with you. We'll have a new 24/7 Champion.

Caboose: Now you're thinking, Cole.

Axel then climbs to his feet, grabs Panther by the hair and pulls him back up to one knee. He leans over and gets up in Panther's face, taunting him as the crowd tries to rally behind Panther. He slaps Panther hard across the face not once, but twice, then grabs Panther by the hair and pulls him into a standing headscissors. The crowd begins to cheer as Axel scours the arena, then holds out his arms crucifix style.

Caboose: Hey, sounds like these fans are really starting to warm up to Axel.

Cole: I don't think--WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!

Coach: THAT'S CHRIS BRYTE!!!!!! CHRIS BRYTE IS BACK!!!!!

INDEED HE IS!!!!! He's taped up from the earlier attack, AND he's got STEEL, DAMN IT! He hits the ring just as Axel wraps his arms around Panther's waist, but before he can lift Panther up, Bryte rears back with his chair, and cracks Axel across the back with the chair. Axel drops Panther and turns towards Bryte, holding his lower back in pain. As he and Bryte lock eyes, Bryte sticks out his tounge and razzes Axel (WTF?!) before rearing back and flooring him with another hard chairshot. The crowd explodes, and Bryte jumps up and down, celebrating like he's just won the World Title or something.
Caboose: What the hell is this?!

Cole: It's called revenge! Chris Bryte has just gotten revenge for Tina! Revenge from that attack from earlier on! Revenge from...

Coach: GUNNER~!

As Bryte is celerating, Gunner Sharps rushes out from the locker room and slides into the ring. Bryte's playing to the crowd, and doesn't even see him. As soon as he turns around, though, Gunner charges at him and DRILLS him with the MOTHERFUCKING IMPACT SPEAR, turning the poor rookie inside out!!! Bryte convulses on the mat, as chants of "Holy Shit" actually start up.

Cole: Tonight just isn't Bryte's night.

With Bryte taken care of, Gunner turns his attention to Panther, who's trying to pull himself back up in a corner. He licks his lips and pats his chest, and when Panther turns around, Gunner charges in for another attempted spear...


BUT PANTHER SIDESTEPS HIM, and Gunner gets nothing but buckle! Stunned, Gunner staggers backwards, allowing Panther to catch him from behind with a rear waistlock, and SOMEHOW take the big man up and over with a release German Suplex, dumping him on the back of his head. The crowd pops big in the background, and chants of "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" echo throughout the arena.

Caboose: How the hell did he...how...

Cole: Panther...using every ounce of strength in his being to take Gunner Sharps over with that German!!! Gunner is down...Bryte is down, Axel is down...

But so is Panther. The fans cheer and clap in unison, again trying to rally Panther back into the match. Panther looks up and spies Axel's fallen body, and with his last bit of energy, he begins to pull himself hand over hand to reach his foe.



Hand over hand...




...he's almost there...



...almost...



HE'S THERE!!!!!!! Panther drapes an arm across Axel's chest...



1....





2...




NO SIR OR MADAM!!!!!!!!!!!! AXEL RAISES THE SHOULDER AFTER A COUNT OF TWOOOOOOOOO~!

Coach: How close was that?!

Caboose: Not close enough!! Even with the help of his cronies, Panther still doesn't have what it takes to defeat Axel!

Panther looks frustrated as he pulls himself up to his knees. Axel's trying to pull himself to his knees as well. Before he can, though, Panther grabs him by the hair, rears back and catches him with a right hand, sending Axel leaning backwards. Axel comes right back with a right hand of his own, sending Panther backwards!

Cole: These men are fighting from their knees! How bad do these two want it?!

Panther with another right...Axel comes right back. Panther! Axel! Panther again! Axel again!!! Panther rears back for another right hand, but before he can connect...a recovered GUNNER SHARPS comes up from behind and locks him in a rear naked choke. Still somewhat dazed, Axel looks on with a smile on his face, and the crowd boos wildly in the background.

Cole: Ok, damn it! I know this is no DQ, but can we get him outta here?!

Caboose: Oh wait a minute, Cole! It's all good when Panther's friends come out to help him, but as soon as Axel's friends come to his aid, you've got a problem with it?

Cole: That's right.

Caboose:...

Panther desperately tries to escape Gunner's grasp, but Gunner's got the choke locked on tight. Suddenly, Chris Bryte begins to pull himself back to his feet, and as the referee implores Gunner to release the hold, Bryte loads up his boot, charges in and kicks Sharps HARD in the groin, drawing another pop from the crowd. Gunner clutches the injured area, and falls over in pain as Bryte staggers back into the ropes.

Panther tries to shake off the effects of Gunner's attack, but Axel's right on him, measuring him with hard right hands to the forehead. He pulls Panther back into a standing position, and tries to whip Panther into the ropes. Panther counters the whip, however, going under and lifting Axel up into a fireman's position.

Coach: This could be the Deep End coming up--

NO!!!!!! Axel slips off Panther's shoulders and lands behind him. He then shoves Panther into the ropes, and when Panther comes off, Axel tries a leapfrog...

**CRACK**

Cole: OH!!! WHAT THE HELL?!??!

Just as Panther is coming under Axel's leapfrog, Chris Bryte, who was positioned behind Axel with a chair, follows through with a chairshot which was apparently meant for Axel, but he instead ends up catches Panther right in the head. Panther's body falls limp to the canvas and Bryte's eyes open wide with fear. Capitalizing on the situation, Axel grabs Bryte, lifts him into reverse DVD position, then brings him around with a dreaded...

Cole: AXEL SLAM~!

Bryte's body bounces off the mat, and Axel falls into a cover on Panther. He hooks the leg...

Cole: NO!!! NOT THIS WAY...


1...




2...







3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**DING DING DING**

**Cue "The Game"

Announcer: Here is your winner...and NEW OAOAST 24/7 Champion....AAAAAAAAAXEEEEEEELLLL!!!!!!!

Caboose: HAHA!!! What did I tell you?! What did I tell you?! Axel is the new Champion!

Cole: I can't believe it!!! Chris Bryte...that errant chairshot from Bryte caught Panther right in the head...and damn it, we've got a new Champion!!!

Caboose: I love it!!! I love it! This is great! Break out the champagne! It's celebration time!

The official presents Axel with the 24/7 title belt and he raises it high above his head, drawing boos from the crowd. He then helps Gunner back to his feet, and the two slide out to the arena floor, with Axel holding the title high in his right hand as the two head up the ramp and back to the locker room. Once the two reach the stage, Axel stops at the top of the ramp, and, with the belt in his right hand, Axel does the crucifix pose once again. Dozens of camera flashes go off inside the arena, then he and Gunner turn and walk back to the locker room.

(GO to break)

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)

(We cut backstage, where Northstar is discussing something with one of the segment producers. Out of nowhere, Sly Sommers approaches him.)

SLY: Hey, Northstar! Last Sunday, what do I do? I defeated Crystal, one of your big stars. Then, I defeated Puerto Rican Lightning, one of Intense Zone's biggest stars. Sure, I lost to Jacob Lyne in the finals, but that was one hell of a match...even the dirtsheet dudes loved it! So, what happens when I show up at the building tonight? Am I given a title shot? NOOOO! Am I given a number-one contenders' match? NOOOO! Am I even given a match or promo time? HELL NO! I come here, and my name is nowhere to be seen on the format sheet! What in the hell is up with that?
NORTHSTAR: Well...

(Out of nowhere, Peter Knight appears from the other side.)

KNIGHT: Northstar, man listen...I think I've made a pretty good splash in HeldDOWN~!. I mean, I haven't headlined every show I've been on, but I'm sure as hell not being a dud like some people around here. So what do I get for it? I'm not on the show for the past couple of weeks, I'm not booked for Zero Hour, and I get to the building tonight, and guess what? One of YOUR goons told me that my services will not be needed for a while! If you don't give me an explanation, I'm gonna get rid of your services for good!

NORTHSTAR: Listen, listen....guys, I've been kind of busy lately. I mean, we are only a month away from the single biggest show in this company's history! I got contracts to finalize, places to go to, people to do...I mean, things to do. But, I am sorry for leaving you two out in the cold. So, since I am a nice guy, and I know that you two are two of the most underrated wrestlers in this company, I'll book something really special to make this all up to you. You see, most companies make the mistake of not having anything to follow up their biggest shows ever, which then leads them down a road of nothingness. Not HeldDOWN~!. I need a big marquee match for the next Pay-Per-View after Anglemania, so the buyrates don't come crashing down. That's where you two come in. So, at Anglemania III, it will be Peter Knight versus Totally Endorsed's Sly "The Sly" Sommers...and the winner faces the winner of the HeldDOWN~! World Title match at Anglemania III in April! How about that?

SLY: I dig the idea and all...but, I have no reason to fight Peter here.

KNIGHT: Same here; I mean, Sly's a good wrestler, and even a snazzy dresser.

SLY: And Peter, you my friend....have...a...nice nose? Yep, that's it? A nice nose.

KNIGHT: Um....okay. But the thought remains, outside of the really nice prize for the winner, we don't want to fight each other.

NORTHSTAR: Let me think...hey Sly, look over there! (Sly turns his head, Northstar slaps the back of his head; Sly turns around, and Northstar blames Knight, who denies it)

SLY: You son of a...

KNIGHT: I didn't do it! (Sly slaps Knight) Fine, you want some? (Knight throws a punch, and Sly and Knight then start brawling out of view)

NORTHSTAR: I love this job!

(Back to La SC)

COACH: The next match here will be the fifth installment in the Seven Sins Series, between St. Andrew's Minions and the Global Party Exchange.

MC: Last week, the GPX finally got the monkey off of their backs, as they got their first win in the series in a two-out-of-three falls match. But, more importantly, Johnny Jackson, who's been considered the "fall guy" in the series thus far, finally got to redeem himself in the final fall!

CABOOSE: But remember, they're still in imminent danger of losing this entire thing...all it takes is one win from the Minions.

COACH: That's true. This match will be contested under Tornado rules, since Northstar has noticed that every match in this series has had a tendency of breaking down to a free-for-all in the closing minutes, and he figured he might as well not make anyone wait.

MC: With that being said, let's go to the ring for the fifth match in this best-of-seven series!

("Pompeii" comes on, and the Minions storm to the ring, obviously angry from their loss the previous week.)

BUFFER: The following is a Tornado-style contest, where all four competitors are legally involved for the entire match length, and is the fifth match in the Seven Sins Series. Introducing first, weighing in tonight at a combined weight of 408 pounds; from St. Andrew's Cathedral, they are currently leading in the series two-to-nothing, they are Michael and Nathaniel, the Minions!

MC: I think these two are really frustrated about last week, but at the same time, they still have no reason to be nearly as nervous as the GPX, who only have to lose one more time to lose the entire series.

("Make Her Say" starts up, and the screeching calls from the teenage girls in the crowd lead out Johnny "Jam" Jackson and Scotty Static, the Global Party Exchange. They spit their water from the water bottles upward, and then throw the water bottles out in the crowd. Then, Static pulls off his Detroit Red Wings oversized hockey jersey off, and gives it to a girl in the front row. The GPX then run down the aisle, and the fight starts before any announcement can be made.)

MC: These guys are trying to put Michael Buffer out of a job!

CABOOSE: His unoriginality did the job way before these four could!

Jackson and Static slide into the ring, and run at the Minions. They slide under the Minions' legs at the same time before Nathaniel or Michael could do anything. The Minions turn around, and both get nailed in the jaw at the same time. Johnny and Scotty punch the Minions repeatedly until they fall back into the ropes. Stereo Irish whips from the GPX, but the Minions reverse. The GPX leapfrog the Minions at the same time, and continue to run. Johnny and Scotty come off of the ropes, and run right into hiptosses from the Minions. But, the GPX land on their feet, and pull Nathaniel and Michael skull-to-skull, knocking both of them down. Scotty and Johnny then rise to their feet, slap hands, and nail stereo standing moonsaults onto the Minions. Double cover........1........2.......kickout!

MC: So far, it's been nothing but the Global Party Exchange!

Johnny pulls up Nathaniel and shoves him into a corner, as Scotty does the same with Michael in the opposite corner. Both GPX members whip their opponents, but again the Minions reverse it. Scotty leapfrogs Jackson, and they both connect with jumping forearms to the faces of the Minions, sending them back to the corners. Both GPX members then hook their Minion under the armpit, and hiptoss them to mid-ring, where they collide back-first in mid-air. Both Minions then stumble to their feet, and stand near the ropes. Johnny and Scotty charge at them, but the Minions end up backdropping them over the top rope at the same time. Jackson and Static land on their feet, the Minions turn around, and both get nailed in the stomach with a shoulderblock. Both GPX members then springboard to the top rope, flip off, kick the Minions in their backs with both feet (sending them to the outside), and land on their feet!

COACH: Holy smokes, that was amazing!

CABOOSE: Who in the hell says "holy smokes" anymore?

Both Minions stumble to their feet on the floor, and Static takes off. He bounces off of the ropes at the other end, runs forward, and nails a tremendous-looking no-touch over-the-top-rope corkscrew tope onto both Minions! But, the Minions catch him. So, Johnny Jackson springboards to the top rope, and nails an amazing 450 plancha onto the Minions to send them down!

MC: Wow, what a series of dives from the GPX!

Jackson then pulls Nathaniel out of the pool of bodies, and throws him back into the ring. Johnny quickly steps to the top rope, and right as Nathaniel gets to his feet, Johnny nails a tremendous missile dropkick to the face! Jackson goes for the cover.........1...........2.........kickout. Johnny pulls Nathaniel up, chops him, and sends him off to the ropes. Nathaniel comes back and tries to leapfrog over Jackson. But, Johnny catches Nathaniel's legs behind him and underneath his armpits, pushes the legs down so the rest of Nathaniel comes up, and slams him down face-first on the mat!

COACH: Even more innovation from the Global Party Exchange!

Just at that moment, Scotty Static and Michael come into the ring together, and Static is nailing Michael with punches to the head. Static grabs Michael's hand, and tries to go for an Arabian springboard armdrag, but Michael pulls him down, and drops him onto his knee for a backbreaker. Johnny Jackson then charges at Michael, and goes for a flying headscissors. But, Michael reverses by bringing him down face-first onto his knee. Then, in one fluid motion, Michael hooks Johnny's head and brings him down with a falling reverse DDT. Michael sits Jackson up, and goes to the second rope. Michael then connects with a dropkick to the back of Jackson's head. Nathaniel gets to his feet as Michael pulls Johnny up. Michael picks Jackson up, and slams him onto Nathaniel's bent knee back-first.

COACH: Just like that, the tide has turned!

Scotty Static charges at both Minions, but gets a flapjack onto his prone partner for his troubles. Nathaniel then pulls Jackson up to his feet. Nathaniel lifts Johnny over his head, crucifix-bomb-style. Michael goes to the apron, and then springboards to the top rope behind Jackson. Michael brings Johnny down with a devastating elevated double-team bulldog! In one fluid motion again, Michael turns Johnny over, and lifts him off the ground, over his shoulder powerslam-style. Nathaniel then gets a running start, and the Minions nail an impressive double-team inverted swinging neckbreaker! Nathaniel goes for the cover........1..........2.......Scotty breaks it up!

CABOOSE: That wasn't smart, Static...they're gonna beat the life out of you too now!

Michael then charges at Scotty, and nearly kicks his head off. Michael pulls Static up, and goes for a slam. Scotty lands on his feet behind Michael, but Michael, who drops down to the mat, trips up Static right into a Yakuza kick by Nathaniel that sends Static back into the corner. Static stumbles out of the corner, but Nathaniel is able to grab Scotty, and bring him down with a lifting, elevated flatliner. Nathaniel keeps ahold of Scotty's chin as they lie on the mat, and sits up. Nathaniel then charges at Scotty, and kicks him right in the mouth!

COACH: Field goal for the Minions!

Nathaniel then pulls Scotty off of the mat, as Jackson slowly starts to crawl back into the ring. Nathaniel then lifts Scotty up fisherman's style, and then drops him neck-first onto Michael's bent knee! Nathaniel then picks up Michael in a powerbomb position, and drops his partner with a senton across Static's chest! Michael goes for the cover..........1.........2.........kickout! Nathaniel pulls Scotty up, and lifts him for some sort of over-the-shoulder powerbomb-type move. But, Johnny Jackson sneaks up behind Nathaniel and shoves his partner's legs back so Static is able to reverse into a sunset flip..........1...........2......Nathaniel reverses into a cradle of his own, but Jackson kicks him stiffly in the spine to immediately break it up!

MC: The GPX ain't dead yet!

CABOOSE: But they will be in a few minutes!

Michael charges at Jackson, and goes for a flying headscissors. But, he changes moves mid-way, and instead locks in an octopus hold. Johnny quickly climbs up the ropes for some reason, and then moonsaults his way into a pin on the ground.......1..........2......kickout! Johnny pops up, and ducks a running punch from Nathaniel. Jackson spins Nathaniel around, kicks him in the stomach, and lifts and drops him with a powerbomb into a cradle.........1.........2......Michael breaks it up. Michael hooks Jackson, and goes for a suplex. Johnny tries slipping out the back end, but gets caught in over-the-shoulder-powerslam position by Nathaniel, as Michael hooks his head. The Minions then drop Johnny with a double-team Stunner/gutbuster! As the Minions rise to their feet, Scotty jumps on Michael and starts ratting off rapid-fire punches to the face. Nathaniel tries pulling him off with a German suplex, but Scotty pushes off of Michael and backflips out to his feet. Static then shoves a bent-over Michael shoulder-first into Nathaniel's mid-section. Scotty follows up by running, leaping onto Michael's back, and connecting with a Shining Wizard to Nathaniel's face!

COACH: Scotty Static is a one-man house of fire!

Static balances himself on the top rope, and flips himself into a sunset flip on Michael.......1.........2......Nathaniel breaks it up. Jackson pops up, uses his fallen partner as a launching pad, and sends both himself and Nathaniel over the top rope with a flying clothesline. Static and Michael are standing in the ring, and Michael ducks a punch from Static. Michael then brings Scotty over with a briding German suplex.......1.........2.......kickout! Michael pulls Static up, and picks him up, and then sits him down on the top turnbuckle. Michael punches Scotty in the jaw before heading up top himself. Static punches Michael in the stomach twice, and shoves him down to the mat. Scotty then stands up on the top turnbuckle, turns around, and nails a Tumbleweed! Scotty goes for the pin.........1..........2.......Nathaniel comes down from up top with a 450 Splash to break it up! Nathaniel goes for the pin...........1..........2.......Johnny Jackson breaks THAT up with a top-rope cannonball senton!

COACH: This is aerial assault at its finest!

Jackson pulls Nathaniel up, and lifts him onto his shoulder. Johnny then twists Nathaniel in mid-air, and drops him with a Diamond Cutter! Johnny goes for the cover.......1...............2.............Michael breaks it up! Michael pulls Johnny up...and drops him on his skull with The Awakening! Jackson rolls onto the apron as Michael gets Nathaniel back to his senses. Both Minions then walk over to Scotty Static, and stomp him a few times. Nathaniel then picks Scotty up off of the mat, and puts him on his shoulders in an electric chair as Michael heads up top. Static then starts punching Nathaniel in the head, and is able to roll out of it victory roll-style, flinging Nathaniel into the corner, and crotching Michael on the top rope. Scotty then climbs up top, and brings Michael down with a top rope hurricanrana, landing on his feet to grab Nathaniel to bring him over with a German suplex, and collapse due to exhaustion!

MC: All four men are down!

The referee starts his count...................1........................2........................3.....
.................4.....................5.......the Minions start to rise...........6...........the GPX are on one knee.......7.........8......the Minions are up, and the GPX soon follow. Both Minions throw punches, but they get blocked, and the GPX respond with punches of their own. The Minions try again, but get blocked and punched again. Static and Jackson then nail three stereo jabs in a row, and try to whip the Minions off to the ropes. The Minions reverse, and the GPX come back off of the ropes, going for stereo leapfrogs. They get caught in mid-air, but Scotty and Johnny latch onto each other, and bring Nathaniel and Michael over with a double Code Red! 1...............2...........kickouts!

COACH: I've NEVER seen that!
MC: Devastation by innovation!

Static and Jackson pull the Minions to their feet. Static lifts Nathaniel up, as Jackson picks up Michael; both men going for Asphalt Slams/Alabamaslams. Static brings Nathaniel over, but Nathaniel reverses into a tremendous inverted piledriver in mid-air! Static rolls to the outside for safety. Michael then punches Jackson in the back repeated times, causing him to bend over and accidentally put himself in position for a move from Michael. Michael then lifts Jackson up, and brings him over for a front-face flapjack from powerbomb-position, as Nathaniel pops up to bring Johnny down with a Flatliner at the same time!

CABOOSE: It's all over for the teen idols now!

Both Minions then cross themselves to signal for the Holy Divide. Nathaniel goes up top as Michael puts Jackson in position for the piledriver portion. They take far too long setting up the move, as Jackson starts to show signs of life. Nathaniel is still balancing himself on the top rope when Johnny suddenly charges forward, carrying Michael with him, into the corner! The impact flips Nathaniel off the top rope, and through the timekeeper's table! No disqualification is called due to it being accidental. Jackson backs up to the center of the ring as Michael stumbles forward. Johnny kicks him in the mid-section, and hooks him for the Beat Drop. He lifts him, but Michael slips out the back end. He turns around...and runs right into a Shooting Star Lariat from Scotty Static! Both GPX members go for the cover...........1............2............3!

BUFFER: Your winners of the contest...the Global Party Exchange!

MC: They did it again! The GPX have now closed the gap at 3-2!

CABOOSE: If it weren't for that table being there, the Minions SO would have won!

(Out of nowhere, Northstar appears on the video screen, coming from his office.)

NORTHSTAR: Congratulations on your second victory in the series, Scotty, Johnny. I'm glad to see that this series I set up between you four men is starting to pick up steam. However, I have a problem. You see, there was some foul play involved in this match tonight, as one of your opponents, Nathaniel, suffered an unfortunate consequence and went through a table. In this contest, there was not a single rule that said that usage of outside objects was legal. But, the referee officiating this match had his hands tied, since the table use was accidental, and it would therefore be unfair to disqualify you two. But, to ensure that we must not worry about that next time, the match next week, and the sixth in the series, will be....a TABLES MATCH! Good day! (the screen cuts back to an arena shot)

MC: Did you hear that?

COACH: These four men, their aerial innovation, and TABLES?!?! That's going to be great!
CABOOSE: I knew there was a reason I liked Northstar.

MC: Something's gonna go down next week! More hD~! in 3!

(Go to break)

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)

"Smells Like Teen Spirit" blares over the arena speakers as CWM steps out onto the stage! The fans come to their feet at the sight of their hero and a MONSTROUS chant rises from the stands!!

COLE
"What the...it's CWM!"

CWM stands atop the ramp, several scars on his face, and a heavy bandage around his ribs.

COACH
"CWM! He's here, he's in the building! But, he's suspended! How can he be out here if he's suspended!"

COLE
"I have no idea, but if he's directly defying his suspension, it must be pretty big!"

CABOOSE
"Can we get security out here?"

COLE
"Will you stop."

CABOOSE
"What? He's in direct violation of the suspension levied by our General Manager. He shouldn't be here!"

COACH
"But he IS here!"

COLE
"Like it or not, 'Boose, CWM is here in the building, and it looks like he has something to say about what went down this past Sunday at Zero Hour!"

CWM rolls into the ring, then points out to the crowd, saluting the standing fans. He then grabs a mic from a tech outside the ring. CWM stands, looking out across the fans as he waits for the ovation to die down.

COLE"I can't imagine what CWM must be thinking after what happened at the end of his match, his FIGHT, at Zero Hour."

COACH
"What about Hoff? Wonder if we'll get a reaction from him later."

COLE
"No doubt Hoff has a lot on his mind, and-- whoa, here we go."

CWM
"Hey."

The fans' cheers swell again.

CWM
"Hoff, or Northstar...I don't care which one, but somebody better get their ass out here right now!"

COLE
"CWM is wasting no time calling his adversaries out!"

CWM paces around the ring for a moment, looking up the ramp...when out comes Northstar, with several security guards.

CABOOSE
"Here we go, finally."

COLE
"Northstar is out, hopefully to answer for his actions at Zero Hour!"

CABOOSE
"What? What does he have to answer for? It's his decision. CWM is the one with some explaining to do."

Northstar approaches the ring, but doesn't enter.

NORTHSTAR
"What the hell is wrong with you?"

A chorus of boos goes up from the fans.

NORTHSTAR
"You're suspended! That means you have no business being here. Boys, if you would please."

Northstar gestures to his security force, who slide in the ring and advance on CWM. CWM puts his guard up. The security spreads around CWM and beings to advance, when suddenly a cheer goes up from the audience!

COACH
"Wait-- on the entranceway!"

COLE
"It's Hoff!"

The cheers and boos mix as Hoff steps out onto the stage, mic in hand.

HOFF
"Whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa."

Northstar spins areound to address Hoff.

NORTHSTAR
"What, what the hell is this? You don't have any business here, get to the back, sugar. Now."

Hoff levels a glare at Northstar.

HOFF
"Oh, see, I do think I have business out here. This is very much my business."

COLE
"What could Hoff mean?"

Hoff starts walking toward the ring.

NORTHSTAR
"Hoff I mean it, get out of here, or--"

HOFF
"Or what? You'll suspend me too?"

Northstar hesitates, then nods tenatively.

HOFF
"Uh-uh. I don't think you will. See, last night I showed you -- and the world -- that I can stand up to anyone in this business...even a guy trying to kill me."

The fans cheers go up slightly again. CWM cocks his head and listens intently.

HOFF
"And after last night, well, let's just say I have something to prove."
Hoff gestures to CWM.

HOFF
"See, you want your revenge. That's great; I get it. But now, I want something too."

CWM opens his mouth to speak, but Northstar cuts him off.

NORTHSTAR
"Oh no, no no. *looking at Hoff* Don't you come any closer. That man is not cleared to wrestle, and he is not allowed in this ring. He is--"

HOFF
"Suspended?!"

Northstar again nods.

HOFF
"Is that so. You're really gonna suspend one of this company's icons.

Northstar swallows hard, but nods again.

HOFF
"Well that's very interesting. You see, I just got off the phone with one Dan Black, and he says that if you put CWM on the shelf, he's ready to offer the man a multi-year, million-dollar contract. And if CWM goes...I go."

NORTHSTAR
"Wait, no, he can't do that!! Suspended or no, this man is still HeldDown property..."

CWM advances on Northstar, but security steps in the way.

HOFF
"Black doesn't care. Sue him if you like. But do you really want to lose him -- or me -- to IntenseZone?"

Northstar stares Hoff down...

COLE
"You can see the fear in Northstar's eyes here."

COACH
"Is Hoff serious?"

NORTHSTAR
"You're bluffing."
HOFF
"Try me."

Northstar looks at Hoff, then at his shoes, then at Hoff again.

NORTHSTAR
"...Fine. CWM is no longer suspended."

Hoff smiles.

NORTHSTAR
"BUT, he's still not allowed in the ring until cleared from his doctor."

HOFF
"That's just fine. I'm sure that--"

CWM
"Why are you doing this?"

The security steps back, leaving a path between CWM in the ring and Hoff on the outside. Hoff rolls in the ring and pops to his feet.

HOFF
"You want to know why?"

CWM steps toward Hoff. The two are almost nose to nose.

COLE
"Oh my God...this could explode at any second."

HOFF
"I'll tell you why. Last Sunday, you beat the hell out of me. You took me to hell and back...and yet, the whole time, you can't look me in the eye and say I didn't hit you just as hard."

CWM's gaze remains unwavering.

HOFF
"I took everything you had and then some...but before I could finish the job, we got...cut short." Hoff pauses. "So now, you could say I have...something to prove. I want to beat you, CWM. I want to beat you clean in the center of the ring, 1-2-3. To prove to you, to myself, and to everyone else that I can hang."

CWM steps back, and smirks slightly.

HOFF"So I tell you what -- you just get your forms together. You take care of your problems, and I'll set us a nice little table for two...at Anglemania."

The crowd ROARS at this challenge. CWM looks out across the fans...looks back to Hoff...and nods.

CWM
"I accept."

COLE
"CWM vs. Hoff at Anglemania!! Can you believe it?"

CWM
"But big man...you better be ready."

CWM throws his mic down and hits Hoff with a huge right hand! Hoff and CWM lock up and begin wailing on each other with closed fists! Finally, security pulls the two men apart! One group of guards escorts CWM out of the ring, and the other holds Hoff back. The camera zooms in on Hoff, who has a huge smile on his face.

COACH
"Man I can't believe what we just heard! Hoff vs. CWM at Anglemania 3, what a match!"

CABOOSE
"IF CWM can get his doctor's approval. We can't have crippled old men working the biggest show of the year."

COLE
"Well, I think CWM will find a way to get it done. Folks, this has been a wild night already, and we've got lots more ahead, so stay tuned!

*fade to commercial*

(Go to break)

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)

Coach: Main event time!

Cole: Northstar isn't really going to fight the Macho Man. Is he? That's crazy! Northstar's crazy. He's going against a former world champion, a former Wrestlemania main eventer, a man who's beaten Hogan, Flair, Steamboat, and Savage. Wait, he is Savage. You get my point!

Caboose: No, you're crazy. Northstar's whupped the ass of Tim Moysey, CWM, Spider Poet, Zack Malibu (six times), La Parka, and Anglesault. Can you say that about Nacho Man? Can you say that about anyone in the OAOAST?
Cole: We can debate until the cows come home about your liberal use of the word "ass whupped" but Macho Man is a former world champion.

Caboose: If those matches had been for the world title, he'd be a six time world champ. It's not his fault he's only been granted ONE title shot, when some people named Malibutt seem to get one every month. That's beside the point, Northstar is quicker, faster and smarter. Macho Man can't keep up. If Mach was so great how come he didn't beat Northstar up last week?

Cole: He got sucker punched!

Caboose: Bull. Northstar said "I'll give you something to weep about". And he didn't say it in his ditzy voice, he said it in the cruel, deep voice he uses when he's about to mess you up. Macho Man knew it was coming but he was to slow to get out the way. Nacho can't hold a candle to Northstar. Northstar is the penultimate sports entertainer. I bow before his immense glory and weep for those who aren't even talented enough to dream that their as good as him. Northstar's the man The Rock wants to be when he grows up.

Cole: Hold the phone. At last year’s fourth of July barbecue, you said he couldn't draw flies if he was smeared in dog shit.

Caboose: Incorrect, cur! I said that about Shattered Dreams, not Sir Northstar. They two very different people.

Coach: No they aren't.

Caboose: Uh, yes they are. One is a blonde and one has blonde highlights.

Cole: Shattered Dreams, Sminky Apellebaum what ever you want to call him, Northstar is a disgrace not just to the OAOAST but to wrestling in general. His fiance realized it, why can't you?

THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.

Coach: Good lord! It's Tazz!

The arena grows dark and three red spotlights rapidly travel across the fans. The sounds of a heart beat are heard of the loud speaker.

THUMP. THUMP. THUMP

R U READY?

The crowd responds with an enthusiastic yes and "R U Ready" by Macho Man Randy Savage hits!

Coach: Boo-Boo, what's your favorite part of a Macho Man match?
Caboose: When its over.

The wrestling legend steps out from the back and receives a thunderous ovation! Chants of "Macho! Macho!" break out as Macho tears off a red and yellow "Hulkamania" shirt to reveal a black and white "Be a man" shirt!

Buffer: The following match is scheduled for one fall and has a TV time limit of forty minutes. Now making his way to the ring, from Sarasota, Florida, weighing in at two hundred thirty pounds he is a former WWF world champion, a former Intercontinental champion and a former WCW world heavy weight champion, he is the Macho Man RANDY SAAAAAAAAVAAAAAAGE~~~~~~~~~~~!

The crowd's cheers grow even louder at the mention of legends name!

Caboose: Talk about a disgrace to wrestling. Randy Poffo still can't let his petty feud with Hulk Hogan die. What a sad and bitter troll.

Coach: Pot. Kettle. Black.

Macho confidently walks to the ring, talking trash aimed at Northstar into the camera that's positioned in front of him. He jumps onto the ring apron, then steps over the ropes and into the ring. He rips off his "Be a man" shirt and throws it out into the crowd. A fight breaks out over who gets to take home the shirt. Macho pays no mind to the scuffle and instead focuses his attention to the entrance way.

The lights dim, and a golden star shines on the top of the entrance stage. Knowing who's coming out next the fans begin their cat calls.

SIZZZZLEEE. SIZZZZLEEE A golden shower of pyro rains down from ceiling and onto the entrance stage.

"California Dreamin" by DJ Sammy hits and through the raining pyro, steps General Manager Northstar and his gal pal and tonight's special guest ref, Jenna Elfman! Northstar twirls Jenna around like a ballet then dips her and passionately kisses her as the golden pyro falls on their body, bathing them in yellow shower. It's highly photographic scene and the fans respond by whipping it their cameras and taking pictures. Camera flashes fill the arena as Northstar and Jenna hold their magical pose.

Coach: Northstar's a good looking guy. Nice thick hair. Nice eyebrows.

Caboose: Not to thin, but not to fat. Very nice. And that second ass implant has done wonders for him!

Cole: I think he looks like a girl.

Coach: Oh yeah, definitely. That's why its okay to fantasize about him.
Caboose: Wha?

Coach: Uh..... If a dude was to uh.... you know have fantasies about Northstar it would be okay, because he's kind of girly looking. So, they could use that as an excuse. Not saying I fantasize about Northstar, because I'm straighter then John Wayne but if someone does uh....it doesn't make them gay or nothing. Because, I still like doing chicks and I don't think a wet dream about Northstar should count on my gay card. Fellas?

Caboose and Cole: .......

Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen on their way to the ring, first the special guest referee, she is the star of "3 Stages of Hell" and star of "Dharma and Greg" she is the one, the only Jenna ELLLLLFMAAAAAAAN!

Caboose: That's a broad with class and ass.

Jenna waves to the fans. They surprisingly cheer for her, not wanting her to be punished for Northstar's utterly shameless actions. She's decked out in a traditional referee shirt and a nontraditional pair of black cut off shorts.

Buffer: And Macho Man's opponent, he is the General Manager of HeldDOWN~!, he weighs in at a muscular one hundred ninety pounds, straight from Beverly Hills, California he is....NOOOOOOOOORTHSTAAAAAARR!

Oh, California dreamin' (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day (California dreamin')

Crowd: Northstar sucks! Northstar sucks! Northstar sucks!

Northstar stops in the middle of the entrance ramp and does a slow and graceful twirl, making sure everyone gets a good look at all parts of sculpted body. Northstar's clad in black leather bell bottoms with bright gold stars running down the side. He's wearing the always fashionable glittery silver eye shadow and matching lip gloss.

Caboose: Put up that tent yet, Coach?

Coach: Shut up!!!!

Northstar gets onto the ring apron. He stops to gyrate his hips and blow a kiss to his less than adoring public. He holds the ropes open for Jenna and she steps in. He follows her, but instead of starting the match he grabs Buffer's microphone.

Northstar: Macho Man Randy Savage! Oooooh yeah, loooooove! On your website that I so generously continue to pay for you claim that you have a passion to entertain, and a passion for music. Judging by the recent "success" of your debut "album", I can only surmise that you have a passion for failure as well. After you issued a misguided and ill advised challenge to yours truly it would seem you also have a passion to be humiliated . No where in your mind could you possibly see fit to entertain the thought that you could beat me! It is for that reason that I regard you as a fool, worth little more to me and my organization than a toad or a common rodent. You, who was once a proud and glorious champion have seen yourself reduced to little more than a novelty act, used for painfully embarrassingly and totally unfunny comedy skits. Sugar, your continued existence only serves to prove that god has a twisted sense of humor. My company is worse for having you under its employ. Last week, your pitiful attempt to patronize me was greeted with a liquor bottle to the your wrinkled and pitiful face! Tonight, your laughable attempt to regain whatever dignity remained after that hideous rap album, will be met with a swift and brutal burial, the likes of which would make Public Enemy say "Damn, that dude just got buried!" Enjoy your match pretty baby, for it will be your last!

Northstar tosses the microphone back to Buffer, who's positioned outside the ring. Northstar pats Jenna on the butt, drawing a semi irritated look from his girl. However she says nothing to Northstar and instead tells the time keeper to ring the bell.

* ding ding ding*

Cole: I talked to the Macho Man earlier today. He said he is more psyched than any of us could imagine. He says he's spend all week preparing for this match and that he's going beat Northstar and prove to Hulk Hogan that he is the lion king.... Don't ask.

Coach: Macho's trippin if he thinks he's going to beat Northstar when Jenna's referring the match.

Northstar and Macho Man cautiously circle each other, neither one wanting to give the other an opportunity to make the first move. Macho Man throws out a tentative jab that's easily swatted away by Northstar. The GM goes low for a double leg takedown but Macho quickly steps aside. Macho's lips curve upward into a sly smile and he gives Northstar the one finger salute!

Crowd: Northstar sucks! Northstar sucks! Northstar sucks!

Caboose: No class from this legend. Don't forget Macho, at the end of this match Northstar's the one crossing the T's on your pay check!

Macho waves his middle finger in front of Northstar's heavily made up face. Even Jenna Elfman can't help but laugh at Northstar growing irritation with the king of madness. Northstar tells her to stop laughing, then venomously shoves Macho into the ropes! The crowd goes "Ooh" when Macho nearly falls out of the ring. The former world champ shakes his head, lunges forward and shoves Northstar to the ground!

Crowd: Macho! Macho! Macho!
Macho Man puts his fists in front of his face and yells "C'mon punk!". Northstar gets on his knees without haste. He glares at the man who wants to kick his ass. Macho continues to urge the GM to get to stand up and fight. Northstar obliges the request and throws a punch Macho's way. Macho blocks the punch! BAM! He levels the GM with a punch of his own! Northstar falls to the mat with a thud! His pride is more hurt than his face. Completely shocked and insulted that this old timer could one up him, Northstar wisely rolls out of the squared circle.

Crowd: Northstar's gay! Northstar's gay! Northstar's star gay!

Coach: Northstar's smart! His girl friend would never count him out.

Just as Coach finishes that thought, Jenna begins her count! And it's a fast one at that. Northstar's stands amazed that she would even think of counting him out!

"What in the name of sanity are you doing, Jen? Stop counting!" He exclaims.

"You told me to be a fair and balanced referee." She says plainly.

" This isn't Fox News! I was only joking. Stop counting!"

Jenna hears his orders but continues her count, slowing it down just a tad.

Cole: You were saying?

Northstar hops onto the ring apron, ending the count. Macho comes over to his adversary and fires off a right hand! Ducked! POW! Northstar head butts Macho in the nose, staggering the wrestling legend. Northstar leans back on the ropes and spring boards into the ring. In mid air he extends his legs onto Macho's shoulders and takes him down with a graceful hurricanrana!

"The world is mine!" Northstar proclaims, his voiced filled with deplorable arrogance.

Northstar kisses Jenna on the cheek, leaving a silver lip stick mark. He brings Macho Man to his feet, cockily slapping him in the face as he stands him up. Northstar hammers Macho with four stiff fore arm shots before whipping him into the corner. Northstar charges at Macho for a turnbuckle clothesline! WHOOMP! Macho moves out of the way and Northstar collides stomach first with the turnbuckle! Macho spins the dazed darling around so that his back is facing the turnbuckle. POW! POW POW! POW! Macho smashes Northstar's face with hard right hands! Macho grabs a blonde braid in Northstar's hair and drags the GM to the middle of the ring.

Cole: Hopefully, he's going to rip that stupid weave off his head.

Coach: Weave? Oh no you didn't!

"Pay attention, HOGAN!" Macho bellows, as he hooks Northstar into a side head lock. Macho begins to rain punches onto the top of Northstar's head. As each blow connects, the crowd's cheering grows louder and louder! Finally, Northstar is able to shove Macho into the ropes. He makes the unusual mistake of putting his head down, allowing Macho to nail him with a Triple H face crusher! The blow causes Northstar to pop up and clutch his bruised face. Macho takes advantage of his prone position by leveling him with a diving clothesline! Macho goes for a lateral press!

Pin attempt 1....KICK OUT!

Cole: Was that a slow count or am I being paranoid?

Coach: Paranoid.

Macho brings Northstar to his knees, he punches him several times on the forehead then boots him back down to the ground! Macho cups his ears, like his arch rival and soaks in the crowd's chants.

Crowd: Macho! Macho! Macho!

Macho stops playing to the crowd and yanks Northstar upright. BAM! BAM BAM! More punches to Northstar's face by the Macho Man. Each doing more damage than the previous. Growing weary off getting his face bashed in after he just curled his eye lashes, Northstar kicks Macho in the balls! The crowd displays their disfavor for Northstar's cheap shot with a round of boos! Northstar responds by telling them to "Blow it out your ass!"

"Hey! That wasn't nice." Jenna admonishes him. His insult is going against the saint like image he maintains around her.

"All's fair in love and mid card matches." Northstar responds sarcastically. Northstar hammers Macho in the face with a back handed slap. The move stuns the legend and gives Northstar time to set up his next devastating attack. Northstar brushes a highlighted strand of hair away from his cobalt blue eyes. He crosses Macho's man arms in front his body. "You're gonna love me for this, sweetie" He mumbles as he bends Macho over and hooks him under his arm. Northstar releases Macho's left arm and reaches through the king of madness' legs. He lifts him upside down, causing the crowd to gasp in awe at the deadly move that's coming up. The crowd boos lustily as Northstar continues to hold Macho upside down, displaying his previously underrated strength. Finally, Northstar falls backwards to the ground. BASH! Northstar drives Macho head first into the ground!

Caboose: That's called a Crossed Arms brainbuster. I like it. I love it. But Macho doesn't want some more of it!

Northstar surveys the damage then giggles with sickening glee! He stands up and bows to the fans.

Crowd: Fuck Northstar! Fuck Northstar! Fuck Northstar!

Northstar's puts his hands to his shiny silver lips, then spanks his butt, symbolically telling the crowd to "Kiss his ass". The message only gets them more riled up, as some drunken fans start to toss beer cups towards the ring.

Caboose: No class from Macho Man, no class from his fans. There's never an excuse to endanger a sexy babe, like that.

Coach: And Jenna could get hurt to!

Caboose: Dude....

Northstar lets Macho get to his feet. A sound strategy that allows Northstar to save energy while Macho wastes more of his. BAM! Northstar knees Macho in the gut. Macho doubles over in pain, but Northstar knocks him upright with a well placed upper cut. Macho looks as if he's about to fall to the ground, but Northstar grabs his arm and whips him into the ropes! Macho comes roaring back with a flying fore arm shot! The move sends Northstar to the ground! However it appears that the attack took just as much out of Northstar as it did Macho. The former Wrestlemania main eventer noticeably winces in pain as he struggles to climb on top of Northstar for a cover.

Pin attempt 1..2..KICK OUT!

Caboose: That was a fast count. That was a fast count! Just who is she committing acts of adultery with any way? Now she's got ass but no class!

Northstar shares Caboose's sentiments. He rolls Macho off him and gives Jenna a few choice words about her referring. The presently unhappy couple continue their bickering even as Northstar brings Macho to his feet.

"I can't imagine it would be that hard to count at a reasonable pace." Northstar remarks as he pounds on Macho Man with forearms to the back.

"That was a reasonable pace!" Jenna rebuts.

"Yeah, if you're Quicksilver!" Northstar exclaims. He's actually shocked that she's trying to defend the count that almost cost him the match.

"Who's Quicksilver?"

"Don't play ditz with me!" Northstar orders her after he levels Macho Man with a Flatliner.

Crowd(to Jenna): Kick his ass! Kick his ass! Kick his ass!

Northstar mounts Macho Man and nails him with punches to the face.

"Watch the closed fist or I'll DQ you. And I'm not talking about Dairy Queen, honey" Jenna says condescendingly. A smile coming over her face as a frown comes over Northstar's.

Despite his rapidly increasing frustration, Northstar dismounts Macho. He brings the Slim Jim spokesman to his feet. Northstar drags the veteran to the corner in hopes of smashing his wrinkled face into the turnbuckle. Macho has other ideas and he nails Northstar in the stomach with an elbow! Macho uses what's left of his strength to stagger Northstar with two quick elbows to the forehead! The old school soldier slowly climbs to the second rope while Northstar tries to shake the cobwebs.

Coach: What's he gonna do Boo-Boo? What's he gonna do?

Caboose: If you shut up and watch, maybe you'll find out.

Crowd: Macho! Macho! Macho!

Macho leaps off with an axe handle smash! SMAAAAAAACK! Northstar blocks the move by super kicking his opponent on his descent! THUD! Macho hits the mat hard! Northstar drops down to his knees for a pin fall!

Pin attempt with a foot on the ropes! 1....2....

Jenna suddenly stops her count when she sees Northstar's foot on the rope. Her act of fairness draws a pop from the crowd.

Caboose: Damn it, woman! Get it together and count the three. Don't disrespect my boss with your monkey shines! All ass, no class.

Northstar looks at Jenna in shock "Like, what are you doing?"

"I'm not going to help you cheat!" Jenna proclaims sternly.

Northstar lowers his head, causing his hair to fall in front of his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, Jenna!"

"Win cleanly, or don't win at all."

Northstar scoff's at what he perceives to be Jenna's self righteousness. He begrudgingly applies the Liontamer! The crowd boos loudly at the move Northstar used to torture Candie a week ago. At this point the finish is academic and Macho weakly taps out.

Jenna signals for the time keeper to king the bell and he does just that.

Buffer: Your winner.......Northstar!

Crowd: Northstar sucks! Northstar sucks! Northstar sucks!

"California Dreamin" blasts over the loud speakers as Jenna goes to raise Northstar's hand. Instead, Northstar quickly yanks it away. He wants answers from Jenna and he wants them now.

Cole: Trouble in paradise. This'll be good

"What's your problem all of a sudden?" She asks.

Northstar places his hands on his hips and tilts his head. How could she not know what the problem was?

"What the heck is wrong with you?" She asks again.

"You could've cost me my match!"

"So what? If you had to cheat, you're better off loosing. I know that you're better than that. You don't have to resort to those kind of tactics.

"You didn't want me to cheat? Who do you think you are? My mother? Do you have any idea how embarrassing getting beat by Macho Man would've been? I would've never been able to show my face around this company again if I had lost to Randy Fucking Savage! Good Jesus in heaven, I wouldn't have been able to live that down in a million years! Any respect I've amassed would've been flushed down the toilet because you wanted to turn my match into an afternoon special on ethics. Shit, Jenna, do you know what your dumb ass almost did?"

"Time out! You cursed at me. Don't curse at me! Ever! Do I curse at you?!"

"If I came onto the set of whatever dumb artsy fartsy play you work on when you're not guest starring on second rate sitcoms trying add some T&A and made an ass of myself, then yeah, I'd expect you to cuss up a whale storm!

"Second rate sitcoms? T&A? Is that what you think of my work?"

"I....I didn't mean it like that. Jenna, I'm sorry."

"No. You're sorry you said it to my face, you're not sorry for thinking it. You know what? You go around and talk like your hot shit, even though your a perverted, womanizing, two faced, lying creep! You wanna talk embarrassment? Here's an embarrassment for you!"

The crowd pops huge as Jenna uses all of her strength to shove Northstar to the ground!

Crowd: Kick his ass! Kick his ass! Kick his ass!

Northstar pops right back up full of piss and vinegar. Jenna shoves him down just as easily as before! She leaves the ring without saying a word as the crowd continues to taunt her (ex?) boyfriend. Northstar rolls over on his stomach and bashes his fists against the mat. Tears start to flow from his eyes! He rolls over onto his back and flails about like a three year old who's just told he has to take a both. We fade out as Northstar continues his temper tantrum with the crowd still mocking him.

(Go to break)
 

[Chanel #99]

(Return from break)

Coach: Home skillets, Zack Malibu is HOT!

Caboose: Coach, your rampant homoeroticism is sinking to new lows.

Coach: Not that kind of hot! I mean he's mad. Displeased. Heated. Splentic. Nettled. Ireful.

Caboose: Splentic? Nettled? Piss off , Walt Whitman. No one's impressed that you spanked it to a thesaurus instead of a Penthouse last night.

To everyone’s surprise Zack Malibu comes walking down the aisle in his street clothes, with a bandage on the back of his head, shocking both the announce team and the fans in attendance, who welcome The Franchise with a huge pop!

CABOOSE
Oh lord...did you invite him out here?

COLE
No, but I'm not going to tell him he has to go backstage.

CABOOSE
Fine then, I will.

COACH
Sit down, RuPaul. Let's see what Zack's doing out here first.

Malibu waves on Michael Buffer for the microphone, and takes it, before rolling into the ring. The cheers and loud chants of "Zack" die down, as Malibu looks out to the crowd before he speaks.

ZACK
You know, I'm going to give credit where credit is due. Now, I know most of you saw Zero Hour this past Sunday, right?

*Fans cheer*
ZACK
So you all saw me take on Ragdoll. You know, Austin Baker. The same man who nearly died on this show a few weeks ago. The same man who blames me for his demons. The same man who took my girlfriend last week and...

Zack stops, then rubs his hand through his hair. You can tell he's getting stressed just thinking about the incident where Candie was POP Dropped on the rampway.

ZACK
Austin...Ragdoll, I could have killed you on Sunday. I could have broken your neck, or your back. I could have gone into that match and beat you into oblivion, but I couldn't. You see, that's not me, Austin. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. I wouldn't have been able to look in the mirror, or look your brother in the eye. I wanted to break both of your legs. You pushed me to a point that no man, not Anglesault or CWM or Popick has done before. You brought me into your own private hell, and tried to take me down to your level, and just when I thought I had risen above it...SLAP. You remember that? Do you people remember that? SLAP. A palm and five fingers, drenched in your own blood, Austin, smacking me across my face after I extended my hand to you. I showed you compassion in that match. I showed you respect despite what you did to me, in hopes that you'd see that there are people who want to see you clean your act up and rise above it all...and you spit on it. You spit in the face of this company when you did that. And I'm going to tell you this...I'm glad that you did it.

COLE
What?

COACH
Man, I don't know what Zack's sayin', but I'd be PISSED if someone laid a pimpslap on me like that.

CABOOSE
So I guess your boyfriend isn't into spankings?

ZACK
That slap, Austin, was a wake up call to me. Not because of you in particular, but it made me realize that I have faults. Yes, put a tape in your VCRs folks...Zack Malibu just admitted he had faults. Because no matter what I do for this company, be it bringing in stars from around the globe, working my ass off to send the fans home happy, or getting celebrity friends to help us out, there is always someone out there who thinks that I'm not good enough. That I'm a pushover. A stepping stone. People say I have no spine anymore, that I've lost my smile...lost my edge. Supestar accused me of it before the Rumble. He said that in the past I was cutting edge, now I'm cookie cutter. I've got a guy who thinks he's the main power broker around here letting a camera crew run around and disrupt this show week in and week out, and last week he also put his hands on a woman, which was probably a first for him.

COACHYO~! Zack going low on the GM!

ZACK
So now, I've got a girlfriend at home recuperating, and a backstage area cluttered with people who don't respect me or this company and what opportunities they've been given, and I've had it. HAD IT. Northstar, Ragdoll, Silver Star, anyone back there, you think I'm a pushover? You think that I've lost my devotion to this place, and that I'm going through the motions? Then come out now and say it to my face, and we'll see in this ring who has an edge and who's putting up a front!

With that, Malibu drops the mic to a big pop, and waits on someone to come out from the back to answer his call. After a minute or so, the arena fills with boos from every fans mouth, as strolling out of the back, also clad in casual attire is the OAOAST World Champion himself, Calvin Szechstein.

COLE
Business is gonna pick up here tonight!

CABOOSE
Well duh. It's the main event. This is more exciting than the wannabe Ken doll blabbering for another ten minutes.

With the World Title draped over his shoulder, and clad in baggy Abercrombie jeans and a blue Ralph Lauren polo shirt (available at all Macy's locations), Calvin Szechstein steps into the ring slowly, and reaches down for the mic, never taking his eye of Zack Malibu.

CALVIN
That was great, Zack. No really, bravo. Kudos to you. Everyone give him a round of applause for that pep talk!

Calvin mockingly pats Zack on the shoulder, but Zack just scowls at him.

CALVIN
See Zack, you know it's funny, but I didn't get the impression at all the other night that Ragdoll was spitting in your face. I think you took things the wrong way. What he was saying, basically, was to get the HELL out of the way! You have somehow, someway, through EXCESSIVE ass kissing, managed to secure a comfy, cozy spot on this roster without doing anything of merit since you lost your precious World Title to me last August. Sure, you got that HUGE win over Anglesault last year at Anglemania. You destroyed the scourge that was Stephen Joseph, right? Wrong. Those were short term solutions to long term problems, Zack. Anglesault came back...as an ass kidding baby hugger, no less. Joseph came back, although he's going to rot on that sinking ship that they call IZ for all eternity. You never got anything done, Zack. You've never lived up to your word, and you know what that makes you in my eyes, Zack? It makes you a god damn LIAR.

Calvin gets right up in Zack's face, as the fans boo loudly. Zack doesn't flinch.
CALVIN
You heard me, Malibu. So now what, you got the big win over Ragdoll, and what are you looking for? You're looking for this, right? Well you know what, why the hell should I risk this belt for someone who is the biggest fraud in wrestling history? So you can make another empty promise to these people, saying you're going to regain it when we all know that I've had your number for the last eight months? Please Zack, just give it up. Go home and relax with Candie, a girl, whom I might add, you would have never even met had it not been for me. So go home with my leftovers, Malibu, and pull out the classified ads. Go open a club or something. Go back to working the counter at the GAP, but get the hell out of my ring, you worthless sonuva...

SMACK!

Calvin DROPS, thanks to a right hand from Zack Malibu! Calvin gets up and comes at him, and we've got a pull apart in mid ring between the champion and his most heated rival!

COLE
We need help out here bigtime!

In a flash, the locker room empties, as staff and workers alike hit the ring to seperate these two as tensions have boiled over. Malibu continues to lunge at Calvin, who nonchalantly picks up his title and stares Malibu down.

CABOOSE
What a cheap shot artist.

Calvin goes to exit the ring, but Zack breaks free from K Money, Crystal and Panther, pouncing on Calvin before he can head for higher ground! Zack is finally dragged back, as they hold his arms, and Calvin turns around and spits right in his face! Malibu kicks and tries to free himself, but everyone concentrates their efforts on calming him down. Road agent Rick Martel orders Calvin out of the ring, and he happily obliges, wrapping the belt over his shoulder again and pointing at Zack, saying "Think about it", as the cameras fade, and we end the show.
 

[Chanel #99]

The return of credits.

Moi
Zack
PFL
Axel
Hoff (for a skit and the drawing!)
Dama
Papa
Mad Matt
Caboose or who ever wrote the Anglemania match.

C-ya!