Chanel #99 Posted June 30, 2016 Report Share Posted June 30, 2016 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD AND 3D RENEE We are live and on the air for OAOAST HeldDOWN just days away from Great Angle Bash. I'm Renee Young hanging besides America's sexiest bald icon, Da Coach! *** Remy Brazil & Pete-O w/ Rico de Janeiro vs. Hood Again w/ Uncle Moe *** Last week Southern Immorality faced the OAOAST tag champions Big IQ and lost. This week they not only met the #1 contenders to the titles -- Hood Again -- but also tried a different tag combo in Remy Brazil and Pete-O. COACH Why not? We see it all the time in sports with teams trying different lineups in search of a spark. Except Hood Again beat the shit outta Pete, never giving Remy a chance to tag in! Isolated Incident put Pete away. Then in a response to Ice Quiz playfully telling Hood Again to top their impressive performance last week, Uncle Moe gathers his nephews and says into the camera "Just did!" Winners: Hood Again, via pinfall. Outside in the parking lot we find Lyric DeLacey walking to her rental car. Yes even vampires have to travel by normal means. LYRIC If I'm not booked why doesn't Sophie tell me that before I show up instead of telling me thirty minutes before the show starts then sending me home and totally wasting my time? ZAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP! Lyric's car is blasted by a jolt of electricity. LYRIC Missed me. Morgan Nerdly saunts up behind Lyric with a wide smile on her face. MORGAN I never miss. And I won't miss at Great Angle Bash. Hope you're ready for me. Morgan BLOWS a KISS at Lyric then sexily struts off. RENEE We are live and on the air for OAOAST HeldDOWN just days away from Great Angle Bash. I'm Renee Young hanging besides America's sexiest bald icon, Da Coach! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2016 Backstage in the state of the art interview set Coco Chanel spoke with Josh Matthews about his GAB United States Title match. COCO I'm putting my health on the line to capture the United States Title and gain my revenge on the Kingdom. MATTHEWS But is it smart? COCO Of course it isn't. But its what I want to do. Northstar, Ser Pike Pantera, Ser AC The Exile, Ser Felix Strutter, King Landon...all of you cloak yourselves in the cheap fabric of authority. But, men like me are the true kings of the world, and men like you will always fall before us. Lord Northstar, you will fall first at Great Angle Bash, then AC....I come for you. Backstage in Sophie's office we have the gathered crowd of THE FLEX, Tyler Bryant, Lorelei DeCenzo, Alix Maria Spezia and Queen Esther. SOPHIE Merci beaucoup. Vous êtes tous ici! ALIX Speak American, damn it! QUEEN ESTHER Do not worry, old friend, you speak the language of love. Though my dear father says it is the language of surrender monkeys. But he has never said that to your face. TYLER Why did you call us all together, Sophie? I have victory parades to plan. ALIX You ain't Lebron. You're more like a D-Rose to Melo pass, flabby to sick. SOPHIE Arreter! As you know zhe Challenge starts right after Great Angle Bash. ALIX A no masturbation challenge? I can't win! THE FLEX WRESTLING CHALLENGE! SOPHIE Oui, oui. Zhe Challenge, Singled Out! I need zhe 'ow you say commitment from Alix and Tyler. If you win at Great Angle Bash, then s'il vous plait vacate zhe world title for a twelve person tournament with zhe winner earning zhe title and a million 'ow you say....smackers! LORELEI I don't think anyone says smackers to be frank. SOPHIE If you decline then zhe winner will get “only” half a millon dollars and a guaranteed title shot. Ta response? ALIX I accept! As long as I don't have to quit masturbating. TYLER You get stupider every day. You'd win a title one day just to vacate it four days later. Sorry, Sophie but there's more than one brain cell rolling around in my head. I didn't spend years of my life gunning for this belt so someone like Tim Cash could try and get his grubby mits on it. THE FLEX NO MONEY? LORELEI Heh, Flex . I'm sure you'd be tempted to accept. Your briefcase is so big we might be able to fit at least the half million inside. SOPHIE Zhe light bulb has gone off! ALIX Darkness encroaches! QUEEN ESTHER Hold me! SOPHIE Zhe Money In The Bank briefcase will be on zhe line in Zhe Challenge along with zhe half million! Merci, Lorelei! LORELEI I wasn't suggesting that! I was not suggesting that! You misunderstood my English, obviously. ALIX Sometimes the best suggestions are the ones you didn't mean to make. Hillary Clinton said that. LORELEI No she didn't! Damn it! Lorelei storms out of the room with Tyler and a confused FLEX after her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2016 *** A$AP Blondie w/ Alexander The Magnificent vs. Vinny Valentine w/ Tony Tourettes *** Vainglorious Bastards USA's Blondie didn't even break a sweat as he made short work of the Vin-Man, scoring the W following Illegally Blonde. RENEE A$AP Blondie looking strong heading into his confrontation with Oscar Friberg at the Great Angle Bash! Winner: A$AP Blondie, via pinfall. Post-match, as Vinny was being assisted by his pops Tony T, a OAOAST official handed Tony T a letter. His reaction after opening/reading the letter: "WHO?!" In front of an OAOAST backdrop we find Judge Dudd with WORDZ 4 us. JUDGE DUDD I can't get over it, I can't get over it. RENEE What's her issue? JUDGE DUDD I am American made, American tested, and American hardened. I am the reason this country has any chance to survive the onslaught against its culture, economy and very fabric of its being. Yet, I am jeered. Hated! Booed! Judge Dudd scowls. JUDGE DUDD But, I don't compete in popularity contests. Was Abrham Lincoln popular with rebel traitors in the confederacy? He wasn't even popular in what was left of this country. But history has marked him as a great man, a great American. Just like President Lincoln history will mar mark me for what I am, the best American to stand on these shroes and the woman who gave a splash of red, whire and blue to the Hotties Title. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2016 Can't Stop It...Can't Sop It “BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO"! There's plenty of hatred and boos in the arena as The All XFL Team and All XFL Network make their way en masse to the ring, the guys attired in purple XFL track suits. HEYROSS Hear ye. Hear ye! The Young Wolf would like to speak to you. Please be gracious and enjoy the pleasure of his words! “BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!? THE XFL No holds barred. No holds barred. What's that mean to you, Rhaenys? RHAENYS It means you can do whatever you want to that coward Blaine. THE XFL Damn right. You got damn right! And you said right there, that coward. Tryna hide behind is sister's skirt, tryna protect himself with a vampire as a shield, then using his man to get at me. Coward! RAHENYS Exactly, baby. Exactly, but don't worry about him, THE XFL I ain't, babygirl. I ain't gonna. 'Cause its like you say, I can do whatever I damn well please to him at Great Angle Bash. Whatever I damn well please. I wanna hit him with a steel chair? I'm gonna do that! I wanna bash him against the ring steps? I'ma do it! I wanna stomp him in the nuts? Oh hell yeah, I'ma do it! GOLDEN Feed him his own nuts! THE XFL Whaaaaa? Yo, nevermind. GOLDEN Feed him his damn nuts! THE XFL Nigga, chill. I ain't feeding the man his nuts. Fuck is wrong with you? But he gonna wish I was feeding him his nuts instead of the fucked up shit I'm gonna be doing to him. I'm gonna be the sports story of the month? Ain't nobody gonna focus on where that loser KD gonna sign, or some shit with Fright Coward? Its all gonna be on The XFL, The Xavier Franklin Long. The Young Wolf showing out! And ya'll know what's gonna happen after I beat Blaine's Welsh ass down? Its on to the world title! Its on to being a four time world champion, and sitting my ass on the iron throne. The time is now, bitches, The Young Wolf is here to feast! “BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The audience may be jeering but The All XFL Team poses tall and strong as “Can't Stop It” returns to the speakers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2016 OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood spoke with Joey The Rat and VICE at the world famous backstage interview lounge. The guys cut a promo hyping their 6-man tag title shot at the Great Angle Bash vs. The Party Brigade and Daisuke Motozaki. Joey then went off on Amberlyn for calling him a "mega creep-o loser" last week, claiming her words are a front to hide the fact she's got the hots for him. JOEY Maybe at one point I'd have given you the time and day. Not anymore toots. You blew your chance to reel in this catch! ***Lancel Locke W/Bobbi Cheesecake Vs Tanner Neptune W/The Doll*** RENEE This is interesting to say the least! COACH Tanner's gotta fight the only guy in Sunrise, because his girl is beefing with Sunrays because this nigga can't guard his butthole. RENEE Well, there's a little more to it than that. TANNER Hey, listen, Lancel, I don't want any trouble. LANCEL You shouldn't be dating who you're dating. At the very least Tanner got Lancel to engage in a lockup and then twisted him down with an arm wringer. But Lanel then wowed the audience by doing that half kip up thing that's oh so popular these days! BOBBI Whoooo awesome! RENEE If Lancel isn't in Annagret's good books, he's at least in Bobbi's. Lancel then leapt off the top rope and hit an arm drag on Tanner, then got him with a deep arm drag on his return. The Doll looked disgusted and certainly wasn't happy when Lancel hit a delayed head scissors on her boyfriend. Tanner rolled out of the ring to regroup as we went to break. THE CHALLENGE: SINGLED OUT! COMING IN JULY Back from break Tanner was trying to hit Sun Burn aka a Sleeper Slam.But Lancel rolled through the attack, then back flipped off the ropes and pounded poor Tanner in the head! Though woozy Tanner managed to come back and hit a complete shot! RENEE Tan It Like You Mean It! The Palm Beach native then went to the top rope and played to the fans, but that was a misstep as Lancel crotched him on the top rope! THE DOLL Lancel then further impressed the fans with a top rope frankensteiner! Now the Reno native went up top himself and unleashed a red arrow on his foe! RENEE Boom or Bust! And that's a big boom! And a big win as Lancel got the 1-2-3! Winner: Lancel Locke, via pinfall RENEE Sunrise victorious tonight, and let's hope that carries over to Great Angle Bash! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2016 DETROIT, MI Outside a decript mansion we find Silver, Scourge, Rayder, Teddy Buckworth and Colin, Angel, all preparing for a little home invasion. SILVER Isn't this overkill? She's just one woman. COLIN One woman, yes, who has evaded two men thus far, and has a very powerful sword in her possession. A sword, I add, she would not have had if you weren't so easily knocked unconscious. I'm tempted to see how you'd survive another attack to the head? BUCKWORTH Colin, your attempts at intimidation on Silver are pointless. We are all working together for one common goal. SCOURGE Ay, that we are. As for overkill? Just one woman? Silver, we dinnae know how many thugs she managed to cobble together off the street. You wanna enter a building and have fifteen guns pulled on ye, be my guess. I prefer ta have a vampire watching my back. RAYDER Ay. Dinnane look a gift horse in the mouth, Silver. Colin working with us, who'd have thought it possible? ANGEL Enough bantering guys, I got you to digest the motherwort, so you humans will be a little bit more durale. But you're not invincible. Be careful. SCOURGE Sorry, lass, I dinnae the meaning of the word. COLIN Nor do I. Move out. The group spreads into their formation around the abandoned house, Colin taking the front door, with The Kings of the Heap at its side. This leaves the duo of Silver and Teddy at the back, but its Colin we'll focus on for now. COLIN A knock for courtesy sake. Colin knocks. And gets shot in the chest. COLIN Bloody bastards. Boom Colin plants his foot through the door, kicking it off its hinges with such force that it hammers the man who shot him. Colin endures more shots to the chest from another goon, but is too busy planting his foot through the door and then through his first attacker's face to properly react. The Kings of The Heap have broken through the side door and wind up in the butler's pantry, where they're promptly assaulted by two knife wielding goons. Though Rayder gets slashed across the forearm, she's able to come back and pitch his attack out the window! Scourge then shoves his attack at Rayder, who picks up a loose knife and jams it into the throat of the man. The man cries out in agony, then proceeds to drown in a pool of his own blood. RAYDER I like the way he fell. Very graceful. Shots ring out into the room, creating alarm for the Kings of the Heap. The duo duck down as bullets continue to whiz over them. Meanwhile Silver and Teddy have easy entry to the back door, they creep through the sun porch, before noticing a man patrolling the back stairs. SILVER I've got this one! Silver steps forward, thinking he's sneaking up on his foe, but instead creaks a floorboard and gets shot at it! Luckily the bullet whizzes by him, and Teddy is on hand to sneak behind the man and choke him to sleep. SILVER Looks you had that one. Meanwhile, Rayder and Scourge are continuing to be shot at while having to cower behind a cabinet with no end in sight. SCOURGE Remind me why we didna bring any fucking guns? There's a blood curdling scream behind them, then the sound of a body whoosing through the air. Then that same body lands in front of them, with its half its head disconnected from its corpse. COLIN (leaning over the cabinets) Rescuing damsels in distress isn't the best use of my talents. Search this room and the dining for Elysium, I will sweep the living room and the foyer. Coiln hurries out the butler pantry to begin his search in earnest for Elysium. The Kings jump to their feet and begin rummaging through dusty draws and cabinets. RAYDER There's not a damn thing to be found. SCOURGE Of course there isn't. She's not gonna keep a magic sword in the butler's pantry. Move to the dining room. Colin steps over all the bodies of the men he's killed, in order to search out Elysium. Yet with every nook he explores, every cranny he empties he finds nothing. COLIN Blast. Upstairs, Silver and Teddy creep along, finding very little resistance. SILVER We got lucky! BUCKWORTH Perhaps. Though I suggest you keep your eyes sharp. The duo enter a room on a left and find it decorated with swords. Swords of all sorts, glittering swords, dull swords, great swords, sabers, scimitars. BUCKWORTH Such gallows humour. Which one is Elysium. SILVER This one. Buckworth turns around to see the sword that Silver is talking about, only to see the sword plunge into his gut. Blood comes spewing from his wound as he sags to his knees, life fading away from him, but he's able to remain awake just long enough to see CALEDORI FOX pat Silver on the shoulder. CAELDORI Any last words, Theodore? BUCKWORTH Nn....no..... Buckworth slumps over onto his side, face slack, trapped in the nightmare world of Elysium. FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts