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OAOAST TMW: A comedy/erotic e-fed

OAOAST IntenseZone - 2/17/04


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LIGHTS!

PYRO!

LETSGEDDITON!

(IMG:http://free.inkfrog.com/pix/graphics/intensezone.jpg)

We're live and straight into another edition of INTENSEZONE! IZ theme song, RATM's "Guerilla Radio", rocks out as the camera spins around the sold out arena, taking in the fans waving signs and flicking signs.

We zoom in on a fat man in a hat:

(IMG:http://guidesarchive.ign.com/guides/14737/screens/hid_ross.jpg)

JR
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to IntenseZone! It's good to be back in the announce seat after having to hand over to the Lightning Crew last week! But I was there in Puerto Rico, and what a show it was! No doubt we'll be seeing more of the crew tonight! In addition, Dan Black continues his war of attrition with Stephen Joseph. As we get closer to Zero Hour and that ARCTIC FREEZER MATCH, Dan has a special opponent for SJ here tonight. Plus-

::A trumpet blares. The planet Earth is shown. The camera zooms in on the United States. The camera zooms in on a CGI Detroit, Michigan. The camera does a bird’s-eye view of Detroit before zooming in on the Pontinac Silverdome. The camera zooms into the inside of the Pontinac Silverdome. “Fight” plays as spotlights circle the Silverdome. A close-up is shown of the CGI ring. Finally, there is a shot at the top of the Pontinac Silverdome. Fireworks explode from the ring, and spotlights shine on the OaOasT AngleMania III logo. The OaOasT AngleMania III logo stands in the center of the ring as spotlights shine on it. A small ticker is placed underneath the logo. All together it saids “OAOAST ANGLEMANIA III LIVE FROM THE PONTINAC SILVERDOME IN DETROIT, MICHIGAN 40 DAYS AWAY.” Fireworks explode again as “Fight” stops playing.::

::Cut to a wide pan of the crowd. Cut to the announcer's table with Jim "J.R." Ross.::

JR:
Yes, folks, the biggest event of the OaOasT year, and quite possibly, the greatest professional wrestling pay-per-view of all-time. The site for AngleMania III has been announced. It will be held in Detroit, Michigan from the Pontinac Sliverdome. Now, you're probalby wondering why we would hold an event from a demolished stadium. Well, the truth is, that the Silverdome was rebuilt just for us! That's right, we got the City of Detroit to rebuild a giant dome stadium for a parody e-fed. Don't ask us why they accepted folks, life is weird that way. But regardless, on March 28, 2004, 78,000 OaOasT fans will head to the Silverdome to witness OaOasT and professional wrestling history. AngleMania III, the show every OaOasT superstar wants to be apart of, and this year's could quite possibly be the biggest one of them all. Do not miss history in the making. Live from the Pontinac Silverdome in Detroit, Michigan. The One And Only AngleSault Thread proudly presents in association with the IntenseZone and HeldDOWN~! brands, AngleMania III. Sunday, March 28, 2004 live only on pay-per-view! It is 40 days away! Order now and avoid the rush. And you can be sure that Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa will be at AngleMania III. The question is, will they be fightning each other? And that question will be answered next. And later tonight, the man who created AngleMania, and infact the entire OaOasT will be in the building. Anglesault, 2-time OaOasT World Heavyweight Champion, will be making his return to IntenseZone for the first time in nearly a year to receive the first OaOasT Lifetime Achievement Award. It should be great seeing Anglesault return, as I heard he has had a change of heart since leaving IZ. Well, not a BIG change of heart, but it is there, sort of. But fans, now is the time. The main event. The moment you have all been waiting for. Folks, it is now time for the FINAL chapter in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. The final match. The last obstacle The Mad Cappa must overcome if he wants a match against Puerto Rican Lightning. The Mad Cappa will be taking on the 2nd-in-command of the Lightning Crew, Colombian Heat, in a one-on-one match and if The Mad Cappa wins, then he will get what he wants, and that is a one-on-one matchup with Puerto Rican Lightning, the man who nearly ended his career and almost crippled him. However, if Cappa loses, then he and PRL can never ever have a match against each other.

:: The Lightning Crew Gauntlet logo appears onscreen. The Lightning Crew logo flashes across the screen and stops on top of the screen while underneath it, in big, white, blocky letters appears the word GAUNTLET. Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Vitamin X, Thomas Rodriguez, PROTOTYPE: The Perfect Lightning Crew Member, and Cuban Wall all appear underneath the logo posing. There are red X’s covering Fly, Boricua, Thomas Rodriguez, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Cuban Wall, PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member, and Vitamin X. The seven of them also appear in black and white. The crowd pops loudly, as usual, and chants “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” as they await for Mad Cappa to enter.::

JR:
For about 2 months, The Mad Cappa has done nothing but compete. Match, after match, week after week, The Mad Cappa participated in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. PRL has tried to put several more obstacles in his direction, but has failed everytime. Cappa was the underdog in every match he was in, but he has walked out a winner in each. And now, it all comes down to this final match. The Mad Cappa has defeated 7 LC members so far, and all that stands between him and Puerto Rican Lightning, is P.R.’s best friend, Colombian Heat. This is without a doubt, the most important match in the Gauntlet, and quite possibly one of the biggest matches in Cappa’s career. If he wins this match, then it is finalized. PRL CANNOT back out of this match unless The Mad Cappa is physically unable to compete. P.R.L. signed the contract with Dan Black thinking that The Mad Cappa would not make it past the Lightning Crew. How wrong he was. This whole situation started on the IZ after Deadly Game back in November. Lightning’s overconfidence led to him losing in the Elimination Chamber, and as he was heading to the back, he was sneaked attacked by The Mad Cappa. This led to PRL calling out Cappa, only to coward out and leave Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, PRL’s girlfriend, to get the BUST A CAP by Mad Cappa. PRL was not pleased with this, so Cappa challenged PRL to a match for the North American Championship, which PRL held at the time. PRL tried to back out of it, but was stopped by Stephen Joseph, who forced PRL to defend the title or be banned from the OaOasT 4-Life. The OaOasT North American Championship Match happened at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten in December. PRL tried to back out by faking a neck injury, but was revealed to be faking one. Stephen Joseph dragged PRL into the match, where Cappa proceeded to beat the holy hell out of PRL until he could no longer continue. It looked like The Mad Cappa had the match won. He gave PRL 11 STRAIGHT BUST A CAPS, unleashing all the rage and anger he felt for PRL for crushing his larynx back in May. It looked to be all over for Puerto Rican Lightning. It looked liked The Mad Cappa would become the new OaOasT North American Champion until this happened…

::The IntenseZone logo flashes by on the screen. The camera cuts to footage, which is captioned “OAOAST BLOODY, BATTERED, AND BEATEN. DECEMBER 28, 2003. AVAIBLE SOON ON OAOAST HOME VIDEO.” It is the ending of The Mad Cappa/Puerto Rican Lightning North American Championship Match::

JR:
10 BUST A CAPS! 10 BUST A CAPS! THE MAD CAPPA HAS GIVEN 10 BUST A CAPS TO PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!! PRL IS KNOCKED OUT! PRL CANNOT MOVE!!! THE MATCH IS OVER!!! WE GOT A NEW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION! WE GOT A NEW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION! COVER HIM! COVER HIM DAMNIT! COVER HIM! IT’S ALL OVER! THE MAD CAPPA WILL BECOME THE NEW OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION!!!

Vitamin X:
OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!

::Vitamin X shoves his headphone down and leaves the announcer’s table.::

JR:
WHERE IS VITAMIN X GOING?

Jesse:
He’s going to stop Cappa from winning!

The Mad Cappa covers PRL. The crowd counts along with the pin.

1…








2….







3---NO!!!

Vitamin X pulls The Mad Cappa out of the ring.

JR:
WHAT?! VITAMIN X! DAMN HIM! SON OF A BITCH!

The Mad Cappa and Vitamin X start brawling outside the ring. The referee orders to Cappa to get back into the ring, but the fightning continues.

JR:
Now The Mad Cappa is getting into it with Vitamin X.

Jesse:
GO X! TAKE HIM OUT! TAKE HIM OUT!

Vitamin X whips Cappa to the stairs, but Cappa reverses and X’s knee hits the stairs.

JR:
BAWD GAWD~!!! THE IMPACT!!!

Vitamin X holds his knee in pain. The Mad Cappa goes to get a chair. PRL is still knocked out from the 10 BUST A CAPS.

JR:
Now what is The Mad Cappa doing?

Jesse:
Something tells me Vitamin X is in trouble.

The Mad Cappa shoves the timekeeper from his chair and picks it up. The Mad Cappa runs to where X is standing and smashes a steel chair over his head knocking him unconscious.

JR:
AND CAPPA KNOCKS OUT X WITH A CHAIRSHOT!

Jesse:
I think Cappa is getting his revenge on Vitamin X for injuring him.

JR:
Gee, you think?!

The Mad Cappa raises his chair in the air for the crowd to see, then enters the ring. The Mad Cappa has a sick look on his face filled with rage.

Jesse:
Oh no. He’s not going to do what I think he’s going to do, is he?

JR:
Oh I think so!

Jesse:
But does he realize that if he uses that chair on PRL, he loses the match, and loses the title shot

JR:
Cappa does not care about the title, Jes. All he cares about is beating the hell out of Puerto Rican Lightning!

Jesse:
THE MAD CAPPA IS AN IDIOT!

The crowd begins chanting “MAKE HIM BLEED! MAKE HIM BLEED! MAKE HIM BLEED!”

JR:
The crowd is chanting, “Make him bleed! Make him bleed! Make him bleed!”

Jesse:
They want to see blood? They’re savages. Don’t listen to these fans for once in your life, Cappa! Don’t hit PRL with that chair! Please don’t!

The Mad Cappa waits for PRL to get up. The referee begs for Cappa to stop, but Cappa shoves the referee down. Cappa has a sick smile on his face waiting for PRL to slowly get up.

JR:
GET HIM! GET HIM!

Suddenly, Mr. Boricua comes running to the ring. Tha Puerto Rican’s bodyguard goes right after Cappa, but Cappa uses the chair on Mr. Boricua. Boricua doesn’t go down, so Cappa gives him another chair shot. When that doesn’t work, Cappa gives Boricua a BUST A CAP.

JR:
BUST A CAP! MR. BORICUA IS DOWN FOR THE COUNT!

Jesse:
Get them, Lightning Crew! Take out Cappa!

JR:
Talk about unbiased announcing.

The crowd starts booing as more Lightning Crew members run to the ring. Thomas Rodriguez and Colombian Heat enter next. They each receive a chair shot to their heads. Colombian Heat gets a BUST A CAP for his troubles.

JR:
COLOMBIAN HEAT AND THOMAS RODRIGUEZ ARE DOWN!

Cuban Wall saunters down to the ring, but a chair shot to the head by Cappa takes him back out.

JR:
AND NOW CUBAN WALL IS GONE! THERE IS NO ONE ELSE LEFT! THE LIGHTNING CREW ARE ALL INCAPACITATED!

Jesse:
SOMEBODY STOP THE MAD CAPPA! HE’S GONE INSANE!

The Mad Cappa looks at a struggling Lightning. Finally, Lightning gets up, and The Mad Cappa smashes a chair shot over his head to a loud pop. The referee calls for the bell.

*DING DING DING*

JR:
THE MATCH IS OVER! THE MAD CAPPA HAS LOST THE MATCH AND HIS SHOT AT THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE!

Jesse:
THAT IDIOT!

JR:
BUT I DON’T THINK THAT THE MAD CAPPA CARES ABOUT THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE! I DON’T THINK THE MAD CAPPA CARES ABOUT LOSING THE MATCH! I THINK ALL THE MAD CAPPA CARES ABOUT IS CRIPPLING PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!!

Jesse:
He is a man possessed. The Mad Cappa should be locked up!

Puerto Rican Lightning has blood dripping from his forehead. The Mad Cappa slams the chair over PRL’s ribs several times. The crowd boos loudly and chants “BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!” The Mad Cappa thinks he has won the match, but the referee, after several tries, tells him he’s lost and orders him to stop attacking PRL. The bell rings several times, but Cappa is still attacking PRL.

Gary Michael Cappatetta:
Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match, as a result of a disqualification…. and STILL OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION, PUERTO RICANNNNNNNNNNNN LIGHTNNNNINNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!

The crowd boos loudly. Cappa goes ballistic as he realizes that he didn’t win the North American title and starts pounding the shit out of PRL. The crowd is going crazy! Lightning tries to attack Cappa, but Cappa turns around to deliver another BUST A CAP.

JR:
That makes it 11 BUST A CAPS for Puerto Rican Lightning!

Jesse:
STOP THAT MAN!

Cappa rolls out of the ring to give X a BUST A CAP. Puerto Rican Lightning gets up, dazed, and goes after Cappa again, but Cappa grabs PRL’s legs, and slaps on the Walls of Cappa on Lightning. The crowd is cheering very loudly. The referee tells him it’s over and for him to let go. Cappa ignores the ref and continues to hold on while Cappa is also in pain for straining his back! The ref does a four count.

1……

2…...
3…...

4!

The ref tries to physically break them apart. Cappa lets go and delivers a BUST A CAP on the ref. Cappa goes right back to slap on the Walls of Cappa again on Lightning as he tries to crawl out. A whole group of referees run out to try to break it up. Cappa still doesn’t let go. Lightning taps out, but Cappa still holds on.

JR:
CAPPA IS LIKE A MAN POSSESSED! HE WANTS TO FINISH PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING ONCE AND FOR ALL! THIS MATCH IS OVER, BUT THE FIGHT CONTINUES! THE BATTLE MAYBE OVER, BUT THE WAR HAS JUST BEGUN!!!

Cappa lets go and starts fighting with the referees! He takes them all down with BUST A CAPS. The crowd is going nuts. The Mad Cappa throws PRL over the top rope. The Lightning Crew are struggling to get up. PRL is bleeding. The Mad Cappa drags PRL to a barricade and lays his neck on it. The crowd begins cheering, as they know exactly what Cappa is planning on doing. The Mad Cappa grabs the ring bell from the timekeeper’s table and poses with it.

Jesse:
Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! The Mad Cappa is not doing what I think he is going to do is he? He can’t do it? Can he?

JR:
KNOWING WHAT CAPPA IS CAPABLE OF WHEN HE IS IN RAGE I WOULDN’T PUT HIM!

Jesse:
Does Cappa really want PRL to feel what he felt those 3 months? Does he really want to cripple him? Is he that evil? Is he that insane?

JR:
I LIKE TO LOOK AT IT AS PRL GETTING EXACTLY WHAT HE DESERVES!

The Mad Cappa hypes the crowd up some more and heads to the top rope with the ring bell in his hands. The crowd chants, “Make him bleed!” some more as PRL rests on the barricade.

JR:
THE MAD CAPPA IS LOOKING TO CRUSH PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING’S LAYRNX! ISN’T THAT IRONIC?

Jesse:
This can’t be happening! This can’t be happening at all!

The Mad Cappa gets in position to slam the ring bell onto PRL’s throat. The crowd is going crazy waiting for Cappa to jump off from the top rope and attack.

JR:
CAPPA IS GOING TO MAKE PRL FEEL WHAT HE FELT FOR THREE MONTHS!!!

Suddenly, someone new runs to the ring wearing a Lightning Crew T-Shirt. It’s a small, tan man who looks 5””0. He is wearing a red luchadore mask with a spider-web on it, black and red gloves, black elbowpads, red baggy pants with FLY down the sides, and black boots.

JR:
What the? Who’s this?

Jesse:
It looks like a Lightning Crew fan!

The masked luchadore enters the ring and pushes the ring ropes causing The Mad Cappa to fall onto the ringpost and drop the ring bell.

JR:
WHAT THE? WHAT? WHAT THE HELL? WHAT? WHAT IS THAT MAN DOING! WHY IS HE DOING THIS? IS THAT---NO! DON’T—DON’T! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING! IS. Is. IS THAT MAN APART OF THE LIGHTNING CREW? IS? THAT? POSSIBLE? IT CAN’T BE! IT JUST CAN’T! WHY?!!

Jesse:
It looks more and more obvious by the minute.

The masked luchadore beats on The Mad Cappa on the turnbuckle and gives him a hurricarana. The crowd boos loudly as the luchadore whips Cappa to the ropes and gives him a spinning wheel kick. The luchadore waits for Cappa to get up…and follows with a top rope hurricarana. The crowd is in awe of this young man and wondering why he is doing this.

Jesse:
I THINK WE HAVE JUST MET THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE LIGHTNING CREW!

JR:
NO! DAMNIT! PRL HAS RECRUITED ANOTHER BRAINWASHED MEMBER!

The masked luchadore beats on Cappa some more then whips him to the ropes. He then puts him on the top rope and climbs up with him. They are both at the top rope when the masked luchadore puts Cappa behind him and grabs his arms. The masked luchadore brings The Mad Cappa down with an Unprettier from the top rope.

JR:
HE IS THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE LIGHTNING CREW! THAT MASKED MAN HAS JOINED THE LIGHTNING CREW! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! CAPPA HAS BEEN LEFT BATTERED AND BEATEN THANKS TO THIS MAN.

Jesse:
Too bad he isn’t bloody!

JR:
Will you stop?

The crowd comes to a realization that the man in the ring is the newest member of the Lightning Crew. They begin booing in response to this and chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” because of it. The Lightning Crew comes to with Vitamin X and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez taking Puerto Rican Lightning off the barricade and helping him into the ring. The masked luchadore tells the other LC members to attack.

JR:
THAT SON OF A BITCH PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAS BRAINWASHED SOMEONE ELSE TO JOINING THE LIGHTNING CREW!!! WHY? TELL ME WHY? WHY?

Jesse:
That masked man must be smart. He joined the Lightning Crew. He must be intelligent! PRL didn’t brainwash him, he joined because he wanted to. He made a great decision! HA! HA!

The crowd boos loudly. The Mad Cappa lies in the ring in pain, clutching his neck as the Lightning Crew laid boots into him. They are all in pain and in daze but they still attack a prone Cappa.

JR:
CAPPA WAS CAUGHT BY SURPRISE AND IS PAYING FOR IT!!!

Jesse:
JUST LIKE MAY 27, 2003, THE MAD CAPPA ENDS HIS NIGHT ON HIS BACK IN PAIN! HA! HA! HA!

Cuban Wall heads to the ropes and gives Cappa the Lightning Crew Splash. The Lightning Crew all pose over the defenseless Cappa including the newest member of the group, the masked luchadore. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez helps PRL into the ring where he laughs evilly. He slaps Cappa in the face a few times, then poses for the crowd to boo. They chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” once again. Lightning high fives the newest member of the Lightning Crew and raises his hand to the crowd.

Jesse:
IT’S OFFICAL! HE IS THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE LIGHTNING CREW! HE IS THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE GREATEST WRESTLING STABLE EVER!!

JR:
I can’t believe it! The Mad Cappa was surprised and paid for it! Why? Tell me why someone else would want to join this crew!

::Lightning circles the beaten Cappa and demands a microphone. The crowd boos loudly as Cappa clutches his stomach in pain. The Lightning Crew are stand over The Mad Cappa with PRL, who is still bleeding, on the mic.::

Puerto Rican Lightning:
CAPPA! THE MAD CRAPPA! YOU BIG PIECE OF TRAILER PARK OF TRASH! YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU WANTED TO FIGHT ME? YOU WANTED A WAR? WELL, YOU GOT IT! I HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL AND I WILL SEE TO IT THAT IT WILL BE A COLD DAY IN HELL BEFORE I EVER FIGHT YOU AGAIN!!!

::The crowd boos loudly.::

JR:
WHAT THE HELL IS PRL DOING NOW?!!

Puerto Rican Lightning:
BUT! BUT! YOU HAVE ONE…AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS ONE MORE SHOT. ONE MORE CHANCE! IF YOU DO NOT SUCEED, IT’S OVER! WE NEVER MEET AGAIN! IT WILL END! GAME OVER! THE BOTTOM OF THE 9TH INNING! YOU AND I WILL NEVER INTERTWINE. AS FAR AS I’M CONCERN, WE WILL BE DEAD TO EACH OTHER!!!

::A close-up of Mad Cappa in pain.::

PRL (Continuing):
HERE IS HOW IT IS GOING TO GO DOWN CRAPPA! STARTING THIS WEEK ON INTENSEZONE! YOU, MAD CAPPA, ARE GOING TO BE INVOLVED IN WHAT I LIKE TO CALL THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET! HERE ARE THE RULES: YOU MUST TAKE ON A MEMBER OR MEMBERS OF THE LIGHTNING CREW, IN ANY MATCH I WANT, AGAINST ANY MEMBER I WANT, ANYTIME I WANT IN MATCHES SANCTIONED BY THE OAOAST! IF YOU DEFEAT EACH AND EVERY MEMBER OF THE LIGHTNING CREW IN THESE MATCHES, AND I MEAN ALL OF THEM, THEN YOU WILL RECEIVE ONE MORE MATCH AGAINST ME FOR MY BELTS! BUT IF YOU LOSE…IF YOU LOSE CAPPA…YOU AND I WILL NEVER EVER EVER FIGHT EACH OTHER AGAIN! YOU HEAR THAT CAPPA! IF YOU LOSE ONE MATCH! YOU LOSE IT ALL!!! THERE ARE NO SECOND CHANCES! THIS IS ONE TIME ONE TIME ONLY YOU BASTARD!!! YOU ONLY GET ONE SHOT! ONE OPPTURNITY TO DO THIS! AND IF YOU FAIL, IT’S DONE! OVER! FINISH! FOREVER!!! NEVER AGAIN!!! I AM DEAD TO YOU AND YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!!! IF YOU LOSE CAPPA, YOU WILL NEVER GET YOUR MATCH AGAINST ME! YOU WILL NEVER FIGHT ME! WE WILL NEVER CROSS EACH OTHER’S PATH AGAIN! YOU WILL HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WONDERING WHAT IF YOU FOUGHT ME? WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DEFEATED ME?

::More booing.::

JR:
Can PRL do this? This isn’t fair! This isn’t fair at all!

PRL:
AND CAPPA, I AM SO DAMN SURE THAT YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE THE ONSLAUGHT OF THE LIGHTNING CREW, THAT I’VE SIGN A WRITTEN CONTRACT WITH DAN BLACK ENSURING YOU YOUR MATCH AGAINST ME, SHOUD YOU, BY LUCK, BY A MIRACLE, OR BY A LIGHTNING STRIKE, DEFEAT EACH MEMBER OF THE LIGHTNING CREW. AND THE CONTRACT ALSO STATES THAT I CAN ADD ONLY ONE MORE MEMBER OF THE LIGHTNING CREW DURING THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET! OF COURSE, THE GAUNTLET WILL NOT LAST MORE THAN ONE WEEK SO I HAVE NO PROMBLEM WITH THAT!

JR:
This is horrible.

Puerto Rican:
SO, THIS IS IT! YOUR LAST SHOT! ONE MORE CHANCE TO TAKE ME ON! IF YOU CAN DO IT, YOU GOT YOUR MATCH! IF NOT, YOU NEVER BUG ME AGAIN! AND IT’S WRITTEN IN BLACK AND WHITE SO I CANNOT BACK OUT OF IT SHOULD YOU ACTUALLY WIN. IT IS CERTIFIED BY THE OAOAST BOARD OF DIRECTORS, DAN BLACK, AND STEPHEN JOSEPH SO EVEN YOUR “FRIENDS” HAVE AGREED TO DO THIS! CAPPA, YOU HAVE NO CHANCE IN HELL OF BEATING ALL 7 MEMBERS OF THE LIGHTNING CREW! YOU BETTER PRAY TO WHATEVER GOD YOU BELIEVE IN THAT YOU SURVIVE THE POWER OF THE LC!

::PRL kicks Cappa in the stomach one more time. He stands over him and grabs his head.::

P.R.:
This week on IntenseZone, you begin the Gauntlet against the NEWEST MEMBER of the Lightning Crew, SPANISH FLY! Good luck, Mad Cappa. BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO NEED IT! WATCH OUT FOR THE LIGHTNING STRIKES, BOY, BECAUSE YOU, THE MAD CAPPA, ARE GOING TO SUFFER A LIGHTNING CREW NIGHTMARE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

::”Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)” begins to play again. PRL kicks Cappa in the face one more time then grabs the OaOasT North American and Puerto Rican Championship belts and pose with them. The Lightning Crew yells obscenities at The Mad Cappa who is still on the mat clutching his stomach. The Lightning Crew pose over the fallen Cappa.::

::The Lightning Crew Gauntlet logo flashes by on the screen again. The IntenseZone logo flashes by on the screen. The camera cuts to the New Year’s Eve Edition of IntenseZone with the caption “OAOAST INTENSEZONE. DECEMBER 30, 2003”. Cut to the ending of The Mad Cappa/Spanish Fly one-on-one Lightning Crew Gauntlet Match.::

JR (narrating):
And so, by PRL’s orders, the Lightning Crew Gauntlet began the following IntenseZone on December 30th. The Mad Cappa took on Spanish Fly, who had debuted at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. The match was a 15-minute high-flying cruiserweight battle that saw both men pull out the highflying stops. In the end, however, it was The Mad Cappa who came out on top to move on in the Gauntlet. Let’s take a look:

The Mad Cappa lies on the apron when he pops up to see Spanish Fly trying to do a 6-1-9 on Cappa. Spanish Fly leaps off the ropes for a Tope Con Hilo. He then hurries back to the top rope, and leaps off catching Mad Cappa with a Hurricarana on the outside.

JR:
OH MY! WE HAVE SEEN NOTHING BUT HIGH FLYING, HIGH RISK MOVES IN THIS MATCHUP! IT HAS BEEN A BATTLE BETWEEN TWO HIGH FLYING SUPERSTARS AND IT HAS NOT BEEN A DISAPPOINTMENT!

The crowd is in awe of Spanish Fly’s ability to wrestle but still boo and chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Spanish Fly throws Cappa back into the ring. He beats on Cappa to soften him off then whips him into a turnbuckle. Fly follows with a handspring elbow. Spanish Fly picks up Cappa and places him on the top rope. Fly follows and poses for the crowd. The crowd boos loudly and chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!”

JR:
Spanish Fly is going for another high-risk maneaveaur!

Spanish Fly goes for a Frankensteiner, but Cappa holds on to the top rope. Cappa grabs Fly’s pants and gives him a Cappabomb from the top rope.

JR:
OH MY! CAPPPABOMB FROM THE TOP ROPE! CAPPABOMB FROM THE TOP ROPE! THE MAD CAPPA HAS SHOWN HE CAN GO WITH THE MEMBERS OF THE LIGHTNING CREW! WHAT AN INCREDIBLE MATCH WE ARE WITNESSING HERE TONIGHT ON INTENSEZONE! THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET! MAD CAPPA MUST WIN THIS MATCH! HE MUST IF HE WANTS TO FIGHT PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!!

The Mad Cappa slowly gets up and hits a side swinging moonsault.

JR:
THE COVER! THE MATCH COULD BE OVER!

1…





2…





KICK OUT!!!

JR:
DAMNIT! THE MAD CAPPA WAS SO CLOSE! SO CLOSE TO WINNING THE MATCH! HE COULD HAVE DONE IT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT!

The Mad Cappa gets up, but Mr. Boricua grabs leg. TMC goes after Mr. Boricua, which allows Spanish Fly enough time to grab Cappa and give him a German Suplex for two. Spanish Fly kicks Cappa in the gut then picks him up. He whips him into the turnbuckle. Spanish Fly beats on Cappa on the turnbuckle, then follows by giving Cappa a Tornado DDT.

JR:
TORNADO DDT ON THE MAD CAPPA! Spanish Fly has been really impressive in his OaOasT debut match so far. He has taken it to Mad Cappa and has come close several times to pinning him. Can Spanish Fly pull off the upset and win?

Spanish Fly goes for the cover.

1…




2..




KICK OUT!!!

The crowd lets out a giant sigh of relief and is happy to see Cappa not get pin. The Mad Cappa slowly gets up from the Tornado DDT, at which point Fly beats on him some more. Spanish Fly whips Cappa to the turnbuckle, which Cappa reverses, but Fly does a leapfrog over Cappa and dropkicks him on the turnbuckle. The crowd boos loudly as Cappa is put on the top rope.

JR:
It looks like Spanish Fly maybe going for the end. He is ready to finish The Mad Cappa off and end the Lightning Crew Gauntlet match! This match could be over soon.

Just like JR suspects, Spanish Fly puts The Mad Cappa on the top rope and puts him behind him. Spanish Fly grabs Cappa’s arms and prepares to come down with the Fly Swatter (Unprettier from the top rope). Spanish Fly jaws with the fans and prepares to jump off, but Cappa shoves Fly off the top rope onto the mat.

JR:
THE MAD CAPPA ESCAPES THE FLY SWATTER!

The Mad Cappa gets off the top rope and waits for Fly to get up. When he does, The Mad Cappa kicks him in the gut, and delivers the BUST A CAP on Spanish Fly to a loud pop. Fly stumbles onto the mat selling the move.

JR:
BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP ON SPANISH FLY! THE MAD CAPPA HAS DONE HIS FINISHING MOVE ON FLY! COVER HIM! COVER HIM! COVER HIM! COVER HIM!

The Mad Cappa covers Spanish Fly as the referee begins to count along with the crowd.

1…







2….








3!!!

*DING DING DING*

JR:
THE MAD CAPPA HAS DONE IT! HE HAS DEFEATED SPANISH FLY AND HAS MOVED ON IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET!

Gary Michael Cappatetta:
Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this contest, and advancing in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, THE MADDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool starts to play over the P.A. System. The crowd cheers loudly as The Mad Cappa gets up and starts jumping up and down realizing he won. Spanish Fly lies on the mat in pain as the crowd chants “Cap-pa! Cap-pa! Cap-pa! Cap-pa!” The Mad Cappa gets his arms raised in victory and lets the crowd know that he is one more step closer to Puerto Rican Lightning.::

JR:
THE MAD CAPPA HAS MOVED ON IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET! ONE MEMBER DOWN, SIX MORE TO GO! THIS IS GREAT NEWS FOR THE MAD ONE!

::The IntenseZone logo flashes by on the screen. It is followed by the Lightning Crew Gauntlet logo. A caption reads “OAOAST INTENSEZONE. JANUARY 6, 2004.” The camera cuts to footage of The Mad Cappa/Mr. Boricua Lightning Crew Gauntlet One-On-One Match with Puerto Rican Lightning as the Special Ringside Enforcer. Cut to footage of the ending.::

JR:
Spanish Fly was allowed to stay in the Lightning Crew, but the Lightning Crew Gauntlet would still have to continue, so on the first IZ of 2004, Puerto Rican Lightning sent out his bodyguard. The big man, Mr. Boricua into a one-on-one contest against The Mad Cappa as the Gauntlet reached the 2nd round. There was a little bonus added to it as per order by “Ice Heart” Dan Black. If Cappa won, then he would get a slot in the Royal Rumble Match at Anglepalooza with #1 Contendership for the OaOasT World Heavyweight Championship on the line. And Black also made PRL the Special Ringside Enforcer for the match. PRL was less of an enforcer, and more of a cheerleader for Mr. Boricua, who proceeded to dominate the match, not letting Cappa get the advantage for a long period of time. It looked liked the Lightning Crew Gauntlet would end on this night, and with it, Cappa’s chance of going to AngleMania III to face the OaOasT World Heavyweight Championship. But, Cappa found the strength inside to move on to defeat the HOSS. The giant, machine, monster known as Mr. Boricua. And PRL would play a big part in that…

The Mad Cappa goes to pick up Mr. Boricua, when suddenly; Thomas Rodriguez elbows Cappa in the back of his neck. The Mad Cappa has a look of rage on his face as he moves closer and closer to Thomas.

JR:
Uh-Oh. Thomas isn’t going to like receiving this! Thomas is in trouble now! This isn’t good!

The crowd cheers and orders Mad Cappa to attack. Thomas tries to run away, but Cappa grabs him by his referee shirt. Cappa asks for approval, which the crowd approves, so The Mad Cappa gives Thomas Rodriguez a BUST A CAP to a loud pop just as the referee crawls onto one knee.

JR:
BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP ON THOMAS RODRIGUEZ! THAT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO! THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT SHOULD BE DONE! THE MAD CAPPA IS SPEAKING FOR ALL THE FANS!!! AND WAIT A MINUTE!!!

Mr. Boricua charges at Mad Cappa and clotheslines him from the back of his neck. The crowd boos loudly as Mr. Boricua beats on The Mad Cappa some more. Mr. Boricua whips Mad Cappa into the ropes, and is met with a third spinebuster. The crowd boos as Mr. Boricua does another slow cutthroat sign and yells, “THAT’S IT!!!”

JR:
This is it! This is all The Mad Cappa can take! I don’t think he can survive anymore! Cappa can’t take anymore! This could end it! This could be over!

Mr. Boricua poses and is met with loud boos and “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” chants. Mr. Boricua tells PRL to come into the ring. The crowd groans and boos as The Mad Cappa lies in the center of the ring, breathing heavily, sweating, and in pain knocked out. Boricua asks Puerto Rican Lightning to enter into the ring. At first, he is hesitant, but he enters the ring chuckling at Mad Cappa in pain. The crowd boos and chants “P.R. SUCKS!” at Lightning.

JR:
Oh come on! This isn’t what a Ringside Enforcer is supposed to do! Mr. Boricua just wants Puerto Rican Lightning to hit the nail on the coffin. He wants PRL to get the chance to say he stopped Mad Cappa from entering the Royal Rumble. He wants to be the one who says he stopped the Lightning Crew Gauntlet! He wants to take all the credit. He wants to be the one with his arm raised. This is not good. Cappa is in trouble now.

The crowd becomes louder and boos some more. Some even throw garbage into the ring. Tha Puerto Rican laughs at The Mad Cappa and trash talks to him. Mr. Boricua picks up the tired, dazed, and pained Mad Cappa and tells PRL to attack him. The crowd becomes anxious as Puerto Rican Lightning slaps Cappa in his face and heads to a turnbuckle. Mr. Boricua holds up The Mad Cappa for PRL to attack. Tha Puerto Rican yells at the crowd then starts stomping left boot a’la Shawn Michaels. The crowd pops slightly knowing what PRL is going to do. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3.

JR:
Oh no. Puerto Rican Lightning looks to end this match for Mr. Boricua. PRL is going for the Sweet Chin Music. He wants to crush The Mad Cappa’s dreams. He wants to crush Mad Cappa’s shot at the Royal Rumble. It looks like this could be over. The Mad Cappa must escape this if he wants to win. PRL is going to have Mr. Boricua win.

Tha Puerto Rican continues “tuning up the band” as Mr. Boricua holds up Cappa in front of him. PRL laughs evilly and yells out “Good-Bye Cappa!” and goes for the Sweet Chin Music. PRL goes for it, but The Mad Cappa escapes Mr. Boricua’s clutches, and moves out of the way, just in time, as Puerto Rican Lightning accidentally hits Mr. Boricua with the Sweet Chin Music to a loud pop.

JR:
THE SWEET CHIN MUSIC HAS HIT MR. BORICUA! THE SWEET CHIN MUSIC MISSED MAD CAPPA AND HIT MR. BORICA!!! MR. BORICUA IS PROBALBY FURIOUS! PRL HAS JUST TAKEN HIS OWN BODYGUARD OUT!!! PRL HAS JUST ELIMINATED A LIGHTNING CREW MEMBER!!!

PRL is in shocked at the down Mr. Boricua. He says, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Suddenly, The Mad Cappa lunges after him, but PRL exits the ring and runs to the entrance.

JR:
WHAT A COWARD!!! WHAT A COWARD PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING IS!!! HE IS A COWARD!!!

The Mad Cappa gets into position to deliver the BUST A CAP. The crowd pops loudly as Mr. Boricua slowly gets up. They stand up in anticipation and clap their hands in unison.

JR:
THE MAD CAPPA CAN FINALLY FINISH THIS MATCH! HE CAN END THIS MATCH RIGHT NOW!!! THIS COULD END!!! THIS COULD FINALLY DO IT!!!

Mr. Boricua gets up, slowly, dizzy and confused. He looks around for PRL, which allows The Mad Cappa to kick him in the gut, and deliver a BUST A CAP.

JR:
BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP ON MR. BORICUA! THE BUST A CAP HAS BEEN DELIVERED!!! IT COULD BE ALL OVER!!! THIS MATCH COULD END! WHERE IS THE REF? COUNT HIM! COUNT HIM! COUNT REF!!!

The crowd cheers loudly as The Mad Cappa slowly creeps onto Mr. Boricua. PRL is shown with a worry look on his face in the entrance. The Mad Cappa covers Mr. Boricua and orders a referee to come. The crowd cheers loudly as the original referee for the match crawls over to where Cappa and Boricua all. He is dizzy and in pain, but he crawls close enough to deliver the count as Cappa smiles and grabs Mr. Boricua’s right leg.

JR:
THE COVER!!! COUNT IT REF!!!

1…








2…







2 ½





2 2/4




2 ¾




2.99999999999999





3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*DING DING DING*

JR:
THE MAD CAPPA HAS DONE IT!!! THE MAD CAPPA IS IN THE ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH!!! THE MAD CAPPA IS MOVING ON IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET!!! HE IS MOVING ON!!! WAY TO GO!!! WAY TO GO!!!

Gary Michael Cappatetta:
Here is your winner, and not only moving on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, but also earning a spot in the Royal Rumble Match at Anglepalooza on January 25, THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool begins to play over the P.A. system. The Mad Cappa slowly gets off of Mr. Boricua and gets his hands raised by the referee while wiping the sweat off of his face. The crowd cheers loudly as Puerto Rican Lightning is shown cursing and yelling. The crowd chants “Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!” Mr. Boricua is still knocked out from the BUST A CAP and Sweet Chin Music, while The Mad Cappa crawls off of Mr. B and holds onto the ropes to regain balance.::

JR:
HE DID EXACTLY WHAT DAN BLACK DEMANDED OF HIM! HE EARNED HIS SPOT!!! THE MAD CAPPA HAD TO GO THROUGH NOT JUST MR. BORICUA, BUT PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING, AND THOMAS RODRIGUEZ AND HE STILL CAME OUT ON TOP! THE MAD CAPPA HAD THE HEART, THE SPEED, AND THE WILL POWER TO OVERCOME THE 7-FOOT 300LBS MR. BORICUA AND HE WORKED HIS ASS OFF TO WIN AND NOW HE IS ONE STEP CLOSER TO A MATCH WITH PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING AND NOT ONLY THAT, BUT HE HAS ALSO EARNED A SPOT AND A CHANCE TO BECOME THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, WHEN HE STEPS INTO THE RING WITH 29 OTHER MEN, JANUARY 25 AT ANGLEPALOOZA IN THE ROYAL RUMBLE!!!

::Puerto Rican Lightning looks at The Mad Cappa, who is on his feet, holding onto the ropes to gain balance. He is breathing heavily, sweating a lot, and holding his neck in pain. The referee asks if he is okay, and Cappa responds with a yes. Mr. Boricua is still lying on the mat, as “Let Me Clear My Throat” continues to play. The crowd cheers as Cappa raises his arms. He is met with “Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!” chants. PRL walks slowly towards the ring; afraid to enter the same ring Cappa is in. He cautiously walks closer and closer to the ring, but steps back. He looks at Cappa, sneering at him and flipping him the middle finger. PRL trash talks with Mad Cappa, who plays to the happy crowd.::

JR:
MR. BORICUA HAD THE ADVANTAGE MOST OF THE MATCH! HE LAID INTO THE MAD CAPPA’S INJURY PRONE BACK, RIBS, AND NECK WITH THE REPAIRED LAYRNX! SEVERAL TIMES DURING THIS MATCHUP IT LOOKED LIKE MR. BORICUA WOULD HAVE WON! HE GAVE THE MAD CAPPA THREE SPINEBUSTERS! TWO LIGHTNING CREW BOMBS! WHIPPED HIM INTO AN UNPROTECTED TURNBUCKLE MANY TIMES! IT LOOKED LIKE ALL THE WORLD THAT THE MAD CAPPA WAS FINISH! BUT HE CAME THROUGH! BAH GAWD!

::The IntenseZone and Lightning Crew Gauntlet logos flash by on the screen. A caption reads on the screen “OAOAST INTENSEZONE. JANUARY 20, 2004.” The camera then cuts to footage from The Mad Cappa/Thomas Rodriguez one-on-one singles match. Cut to the ending of the match.::

JR:
The Mad Cappa had moved on, and now he was also going to compete in the Royal Rumble Match at Anglepalooza. Things were going The Mad Cappa’s way, so PRL decided to throw a monkey wrench into the situation. On the January 20th, edition of IZ, PRL introduced another Lightning Crew member. His name was John Brock, but PRL renamed him PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member. PRL grabbed a young man from the streets, wiped his memory 100%, and then proceeded to build him up mentally and physically. Only from the sick, sadistic, evil mind of Puerto Rican Lightning could come such a creation like PROTOTYPE. His name was originally PROJECT: CAPPA KILLER, and PRL had hoped that this machine, this monster, would be the one who would finally end The Mad Cappa’s career once and for all. PROTOTYPE grew in size and in muscle mass, and was injected with mental images of destruction, violence, and fear. PROTOTYPE was to be the perfect wrestler and the model for what all Lightning Crew members would be if they followed PRL 100% to the very end. With the addition of PROTOTYPE, The Mad Cappa now had 6 LC members to face in the Gauntlet. And it looked like PROTOTYPE would be the toughest of them all. But on the January 20th edition of IZ, PRL decided to send out Thomas Rodriguez, who is the official referee of the Lightning Crew, but not a trained wrestler. Thomas has never fought in a match, and his match against Cappa was his debut. Many questioned why PRL would choose to use Thomas Rodriguez a week after Mr. Boricua, and on the same night that he debuted PROTOTYPE, but hey, I’m not PRL, so I don’t know. As expected, The Mad Cappa completely dominated Rodriguez, not allowing the LC referee get any offense in at all. It looked to be a 4-minute squash, but PRL, STILL determined to make sure Mad Cappa not advanced, decided to interfere in the match just when Cappa was going to win. Luckily, this time, it would backfired…

The Mad Cappa smiles as the crowd becomes more and more excited. Cappa gets into position to deliver the BUST A CAP.

JR:
This could be it! This could be over! We could be looking at the end of Thomas Rodriguez’s wrestling career! The Mad Cappa is going for the BUST A CAP and going to end this match once and for all! This is it! The match is over. The Mad Cappa is moving on! He is going to win!

The crowd becomes more and more excited as Thomas Rodriguez, in pain, breathing heavily, dazed, and confused, starts to get up slowly. Suddenly, the cheers turn to boos as the crowd turns their direction to the entrance. The Mad Cappa looks at the entrance, and gets a look of rage on his face. The booing becomes clear as Puerto Rican Lightning walks to the ring with his sunglasses on, a black Lightning Crew t-shirt, a black baseball cap backwards, a gold chain, gray sweatpants, a pierced ear, and sneakers carrying a chair.

JR:
It’s Puerto Rican Lightning! He has returned! What the hell is he doing here? He has no right to be here! He should still be running away! The bastard should leave.

The Mad Cappa and PRL begin trash talking each other. Thomas Rodriguez slowly is getting up. The crowd boos and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!”

JR:
The crowd is not too kind to Puerto Rican Lightning. Can’t say I blame them though.

PRL stays near the ring as Cappa dares him to enter.

JR:
PRL is trying to psyche out Cappa. Trying to distract him from winning. Will this work?

The Mad Cappa tries to go after PRL, but to no avail. He notices Thomas getting up, so he goes to him and beats him up. The Mad Cappa whips Thomas Rodriguez into the ropes, but Thomas reverses, and Puerto Rican Lightning hits Mad Cappa’s back with a steel chair.

JR:
OH MY! THAT DAMN PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAS ONCE AGAIN INJECTED HIMSELF INTO CAPPA’S BUSINESS! HE IS OBSESSED WITH MAKING SURE CAPPA DOES NOT WIN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET!

The Mad Cappa crumbles in pain, and then looks at PRL with rage. He grabs PRL’s head, which causes the crowd to pop loudly. Cappa tries to punch PRL, but suddenly, Thomas Rodriguez grabs The Mad Cappa’s baggy shorts, and pulls on them, while putting his feet on the ropes. PRL smiles.

JR:
THOMAS RODRIGUEZ ROLLS UP CAPPA! HE’S GOT THE SHORTS! HE’S GOT HIS FEET ON THE ROPES! HE’S GOT HIS FEET ON THE ROPES!!!

1…





2…



3!!!!

*DING DING DING*

JR:
NO! NO! NO!!! NO!!! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! THIS CANNOT BE TRUE! NO! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ HAS JUST DEFEATED THE MAD CAPPA!!!

Puerto Rican Lightning jumps up and down. He plays to the camera as The Mad Cappa gets up in shock. The crowd is in shock and begins booing. Thomas Rodriguez pulls down the straps to his tanktop and yells. He slaps his head and smiles evilly, then high-fives PRL.

Gary Michael Cappatetta:
Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match, THOMAS RODRIGUEZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!! Therefore, the Lightning Crew Gauntlet is finished!!!

JR:
NO!!! DAMNIT!!! DAMNIT!!! DAMNIT!!! THIS CANNOT BE TRUE!!! THIS IS NOT TRUE!!! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!!! THAT DAMN PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAS JUST CAUSED THE MAD CAPPA TO LOSE THIS MATCH TO A NON-WRESTLER!!! PRL HAS CAUSED THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET TO END!!! THE GAUNTLET IS FINISHED! THE MAD CAPPA HAS LOST HIS CHANCE AT FIGHTNING PRL!!! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! THOMAS HAD THE SHORTS PULLED! HE HAD HIS FEET ON THE ROPES! HE CHEATED! HE CHEATED!!!

::”No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds begins to play. The crowd boos and some throw garbage into the ring. PRL enters the ring and hugs Thomas Rodriguez. He raises his hands in victory as The Mad Cappa still stands in shock. Chants of “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” fill the arena as the two Lightning Crew members celebrate.::

JR:
I don’t believe this! Thomas Rodriguez had his feet on the ropes when he pinned The Mad Cappa. He cheated to win and now he must lose his chance at facing Puerto Rican Lightning! Son of a bitch this is not fair! This is not fair at all!

::”No Chance In Hell” continues to play as PRL and Thomas Rodriguez continue to celebrate. They leave the ring when suddenly Stephen Joseph comes through the curtain with a microphone in hand. The crowd cheers loudly. Joseph has a pissed off look on his face. PRL and Thomas Rodriguez stop smiling and become worry as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds stops playing.::

JR:
That’s Stephen Joseph!

Stephen Joseph:
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! This is not right! This is not right at all!

JR:
You’re damn right!

SJ:
No! No! Puerto Rican Lightning. I never knew how much of a coward you were until just a few minutes ago. Using a steel chair to attack Mad Cappa. The man had Thomas Rodriguez beat and you know it!

Puerto Rican Lightning:
What are you talking about?

Stephen Joseph:
You know damn well what I’m talking about! Yo, ref. Thomas Rodriguez did not win this match fair and square, G. He cheated. He cheated like the scum that he is.

JR:
YEAH! YOU TELL HIM JOSEPH! YOU TELL HIM!!!

Stephen Joseph:
Yo, fresh, run that replay again and show the ref just what we’re sayin’.

::The IZ logo flashes on screen. The AngleTron shows PRL smashing the chair to Cappa’s back. It then shows Thomas rolling up Cappa and pulling his shorts, then putting his feet on the ropes. The camera does a close-up of the feet on the ropes. The crowd boos as the IZ logo flashes once again and cuts to the present. PRL and Thomas are both worried. Cappa smiles as the crowd cheers. Joseph continues.::

JR:
Now the referee knows the truth!

Stephen Joseph:
Well now, esse, I’m afraid you’re going to have to go back into the ring, because this match is being restarted right now!

::PRL freaks out. He screams “YOU CAN’T DO THAT!” Thomas becomes worried again.::

JR:
OH YEAH! THAT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO!!!

Stephen Joseph:
So, son, ring that bell, and get your ass back into the ring, Thomas, because, I get a feeling, you won’t be in there for long.

::The crowd cheers. PRL and Thomas become worry. Cappa smiles and heads out of the ring, grabs Thomas, and drags him back into the ring. PRL screams, but stays away from Cappa for fear of attack. Stephen Joseph leaves as the bell rings.::

*DING DING DING*

JR:
STEPHEN JOSEPH HAS DONE THE RIGHT THING! HE HAS RESTARTED THIS MATCH! PRL HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO WATCH!

Thomas Rodriguez begs Cappa not to attack, but he does, by giving Thomas Rodriguez the BUST A CAP. Thomas plops down onto the mat face first as the crowd explodes and PRL sneers.

JR:
BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP ON THOMAS RODRIGUEZ! THE BUST A CAP ON THOMAS RODRIGUEZ!!! IT’S ALL OVER! IT’S ALL OVER!!!

The Mad Cappa jaws with Thomas Rodriguez then covers him.

1…




2…






3!!!!

*DING DING DING*

GMC:
Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match, and moving on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool begins to play. The Mad Cappa gets up and celebrates. The crowd cheers loudly and chants “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” PRL whines and does a temper tantrum outside the ring and makes threats to The Mad Cappa. Thomas Rodriguez lies on the mat in pain as Cappa dances.::

JR:
WAY TO GO CAPPA! AND WAY TO GO STEPHEN JOSEPH! HE SAW THE TRUTH RIGHT THERE AND HE DID THE RIGHT THING! HE RESTARTED THIS MATCH BECAUSE IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO! WAY TO GO! WAY TO GO CAPPA!!! AND NOW PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAS A LOT MORE TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE THE MAD CAPPA HAS MOVED ON IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET! HE HAS FOUR MORE MEMBERS LEFT TO FACE! HE IS ONE STEP CLOSER TO HIS MATCH AGAINST PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING! HE IS ALMOST THERE!!!

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” continues to play. The Mad Cappa dances in the ring a bit then exits the ring. Puerto Rican Lightning takes this as the right time to enter the ring and check on Thomas Rodriguez. The crowd is still cheering and are chanting “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” The Mad Cappa enters the crowd and high fives some fans. He grabs a beer and drinks it, then raises his hands in victory. He exits through the crowd with “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool playing over the P.A. system. The crowd is still cheering.::

::The IntenseZone and Lightning Crew Gauntlet logos flash by on the screen. The OaOasT Anglepalooza 2004 logo flashes by on the screen. A caption reads “OAOAST ANGLEPALOOZA 2004. AVAIBLE SOON ON OAOAST HOME VIDEO.” The camera cuts to footage from The Mad Cappa/Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez match.::

JR (narrating):
With The Mad Cappa having demolished 3 LC members, PRL decided to add a womanly touch to the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. At OaOasT Anglepalooza on January 25th, 2004, PRL’s own girlfriend, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, took on The Mad Cappa in an Intergender Singles Match with Cappa’s chance at fightning PRL still on the line. Lindsay actually had wrestling training so therefore she was one-upping on Thomas Rodriguez. The question on everyone’s mind heading into the match would be if Cappa could not become distracted by Lindsay’s sexual advances and assets. Lindsay has distracted Cappa before, including at AngleMania II last year. Lindsay came to the ring wearing very revealing clothing and proceeded to do what we all expected. Flirt with The Mad Cappa and take him off his game. Lindsay is a talented female competitor but we would not get to see her wrestling abilities in this match-up, as this would end up being the quickest match in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet…

The Mad Cappa and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez stare at each other. The crowd boos Lindsay and chant “SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT!” at her. Cappa is a little weary of her at first, but Lindsay smiles and winks at him.

JR:
What exactly is Lindsay doing?

Jesse:
She’s just toying with him.

Lindsay starts flirting with Cappa. The crowd warns Cappa, but Cappa seems to be drawn to her. She smiles. He smiles. Lindsay starts moving closer and closer to Cappa. She runs her hand through Cappa’s hair, which he likes. She whispers something in his ear. He giggles.

JR:
I don’t like where this is going.

Jesse:
Why not? Lindsay maybe switching teams.

JR:
Didn’t you just say she was toying with him?

Jesse:
I can change my mind.

JR:
I certainly hope Cappa doesn’t fall for what Ms. Lindsay is doing.

The crowd warns Cappa of what Lindsay is really doing, but Cappa is entranced by her. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez shoves Cappa to a turnbuckle, and touches his body. She feels his face and whispers something in his ears. Lindsay shakes her breasts to Cappa and the crowd’s delight, and then lowers her tanktop for Cappa to get a peak.

Jesse:
Yes! Go for it, Cappa! Get some tail for once!

JR:
Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is using her womanly charms to distract Cappa. She has done this to many of PRL’s opponents, but never in a one-on-one match.

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez kisses Cappa’s nose. She then gives Mad Cappa a French kiss, which causes the makes the crowd boo.

Jesse:
No fair! I should be receiving a kiss from Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. No fair!

The Mad Cappa loves the kiss. Ms. Lindsay plays with Cappa’s head, then her smile turns to a frown, and she slaps Cappa right across his face. Lindsay then poses, which gets boos from the crowd.

Jesse:
HA! HA! Way to go Lindsay! Way to trick Cappa!

JR:
First you say it’s a trick, and then you say she actually likes him, and then you say it’s a trick?

Jesse:
Hey, I can change my mind whenever I want!

Lindsay continues posing and receiving the crowds boos. They chant “SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT!” Lindsay flips the crowd off, which gives Cappa enough time to grab Lindsay and kick her in the gut and receive a BUST A CAP.

JR:
BUST A CAP! THE BUST A CAP!!! THE MAD CAPPA JUST HIT MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ WITH THE BUST A CAP!

Jesse:
NO! NO! IT CAN’T END THIS QUICK! IT JUST CAN’T!

The crowd explodes. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez lies on the mat in pain. The Mad Cappa covers her.

Jesse:
The Mad Cappa fulfilling every man’s fantasy!

1…











2…










3!!!

*DING DING DING*

JR:
THE MAD CAPPA HAS WON! THE MAD CAPPA HAS WON! THE MAD CAPPA IS MAD CAPPA IS MOVING ON IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET! THE MAD CAPPA IS MOVING ON IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET!!!

Jesse:
NO FAIR! NO FAIR! HE SURPRISED LINDSAY! HE SURPRISED LINDSAY!!!

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool begins to play. The crowd explodes, cheering Mad Cappa, who raises his hands in victory with a surprised look on his face. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez lies down on the mat, in pain, holding her neck. She struggles to get up as Cappa dances.::

Gary Michael Cappatetta:
Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this contest, and moving on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

JR:
IT WAS THE SHORTEST MATCH IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET SO FAR, BUT IT WAS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS THE OTHER THREE MATCHES! THE MAD CAPPA HAS DEFEATED MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ TO MOVE ON IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET AND IS NOW 4 LC MEMBERS AWAY FROM A MATCH AGAINST PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!!

Jesse:
I don’t believe it! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez didn’t even get any offense in. All she did was flirt with Cappa, and she pays for it with a BUST A CAP! What a misogynistic Cappa is! He is a woman beater! The Mad Cappa is a woman beater! If he weren’t, he wouldn’t have given Lindsay a BUST A CAP!

JR:
The jezebel got exactly what was coming to her!

Jesse:
So you are actually CONDONING this obvious example of misogyny?

JR:
This wasn’t misogyny! This was a one-on-one match that Lindsay AGREED to participate in!

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool continues to play. The Mad Cappa dances and gets the crowd hyped up. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is still lying on the mat, holding her neck in pain. The Mad Cappa gets on the turnbuckles and poses getting more cheers. He looks at Lindsay and chuckles.::

Jesse:
Look at Cappa! Laughing at the evil he’s done. He should be ashamed of himself!

JR:
He did what he had to do, to win this matchup.

Jesse:
HE DIDN’T HAVE TO GIVE LINDSAY A BUST A CAP THAT HURT HER DELICATE NECK!

::The Mad Cappa continues celebrating. He puts up four fingers in the air and saids “Four more! Four more!” Cappa leaves the ring and heads to the timekeeper’s table.::

JR:
Cappa’s right. He’s right. Four more. Four more Lightning Crew members to go in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez has been defeated and eliminated and now all that is left is Cuban Wall, PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member, Vitamin X, and Colombian Heat.

Jesse:
HA! HA! Four superstars who will SURELY get the job done! Now PRL is bringing out the big guns. He is bringing out the four most talented, powerful Lightning Crew members. Surely, one of those four will get the job done and DESTROY The Mad Cappa and end this stupid Gauntlet once and for all!

::The Mad Cappa reaches underneath the timekeeper’s table and grabs a cooler with beer in it. The crowd pops which causes Cappa to smile.::

JR:
The Mad Cappa is going to go Stone Cold on us now.

Jesse:
Which means you should start yelling his name out like you’re having an orgasm right about now, right?

JR:
Will you stop?

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” begins playing again as Cappa grabs a beer and drinks it. He heads into the ring with the cooler in hand and looks at Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez who is still lying on the mat clutching her neck. The crowd becomes silent wondering what Cappa will do.::

JR:
I wonder what Cappa’s thinking?

Jesse:
I’m sure he’s thinking about other ways to hurt her now that the match is over!

::The Mad Cappa finishes the beer he is drinking and grabs another one from the cooler. He opens it and raises it in a toast, then pours the beer all over Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, which gets a loud, loud pop. The pouring of the beer wakes Lindsay up and gets her on her knees. She screams loudly as the beer is poured all over her by a smiling Cappa.::

JR:
AND NOW THE MAD CAPPA IS GIVING MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ A BEER BATH!

Jesse:
HE’S JUST ADDING INSULT TO INJURY! THIS IS NOT RIGHT! THE MATCH IS OVER CAPPA! YOU WON! NOW STOP BOTHERING LINDSAY! YOU’RE JUST BEING A BULLY NOW!

JR:
MAD CAPPA HAS JUST SOAKED MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ WITH BEER AND THE CROWD LOVES EVERY MINUTE OF IT!

Jesse:
These fans don’t know what’s good for them!

::The Mad Cappa finishes pouring Lindsay with beer then poses as “Let Me Clear My Throat” continues to play. Lindsay is now soaked from head to toe with beer. Her hair is completely wet, her tanktop is wet, which means the crowd can see through it. Lindsay starts crying loudly. She curses at Cappa, who laughs it off and leaves the ring with the cooler in his right hand. Lindsay continues freaking out, screaming and crying loudly. The crowd cheers Cappa and chants “SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT!” at Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Lindsay kicks the ropes and screams some more throwing a temper tantrum.::

JR:
MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ IS NOW COVERED IN HEAD TO TOE WITH BEER!

Jesse:
HOW DARE CAPPA DO THIS? HAVE LINDSAY REEK OF THE STENCH OF BEER! THAT ISN’T VERY HEROIC OF HIM! THAT IS NOT SOMETHING A FAN FAVORITE SHOULD BE DOING! HE'S SUPPOSE TO BE A GOODY TWO SHOES! HE'S SUPPOSE TO BE ALL SWEET AND KIND AND ALL THAT CRAP!

JR:
And since when are you the beacon for all that is good and right?

Jesse:
I’ve always have been!

::The Mad Cappa heads through the crowd slapping hands with the fans along the way. Cappa poses in the crowd with a smile on his face and a cooler full of beer in his right hand. The crowd cheers loudly and chants “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” Cappa smiles then disappears through the crowd with the crowd still chanting his name.::

JR:
The Mad Cappa is gone for now, but he will be back later on tonight to compete in the Royal Rumble match!

Jesse:
And he will MOST SURELY lose there!

JR:
I’m not so sure about it, Jes. With Cappa winning this match and moving on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, Cappa might have the momentum going into the Rumble match. Perhaps this match was an omen for later tonight. An omen that The Mad Cappa could walk out of Anglepalooza with the #1 Contendership for the OaOasT World Heavyweight Championship.

Jesse:
In your dreams, Jim Ross!

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool dies down. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is still in the ring and is still throwing a temper

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JR: Folks we’re just 12 days away now from Zero Hour and I want to remind all of you to call your local cable provider because its going to be one hell of a slobber-knocker folks. We have…

(Just then JR is interrupted by the loud sound of a horse snarl over the loud speakers and hooves clapping. Music follows and at the top of the entry way Scott Lunde is standing there with a black T-shirt that has white IZ lettering on it, blue jeans, and a pair of sunglasses)

JR: That’s heldDOWN ‘Super Star’ Scott Lunde! What’s he doing here on Intense Zone?!

(Scott Lunde makes his way down to the ring, climbs the ring steps and then enters the ring through the 2nd and 3rd ropes. He walks across the ring and motions for a mic, which is immediately handed to him)

Scott: I bet most of you are wondering what I’m doing here. When I signed on to the OAOAST I decided to go over to the heldDOWN brand (crowd boos mildly) because I was promised the world by NorthStar. He told me not to worry, he knew what I was capable of and I didn’t have to prove a thing to anyone of you (points to the crowd) in order to get my shot. Couple weeks later he asks me to take care of something for him. He told me “Take out Ryan Smith and whatever you want is yours”, so I went in and in front of Damaramu I took out Ryan Smith single handedly… something he wasn’t able to do. (Crowd boos a little more over Lunde’s version of what happened in that match) So the following week I called NorthStar’s office, sometimes twice a day, and each time I was told “He’s busy” or “He’ll get back to you”. Then his secretary called me on Wednesday telling me I wasn’t needed for Thursday’s heldDOWN…well let me tell you something NorthStar… Scott Lunde doesn’t need heldDOWN! See when I signed the contract I never signed on to one brand so I’m free to go where I please. So while you work on your fifty dollar blockbuster B-movie and get rejected by those tricks in the back you call ladies I’ll be here winning titles. They call this ‘The Intense Zone’, well let me tell everybody here that the most Intense man has arrived, and I’m gunning to take every one of you out on my way to the top. If you have a problem with that I’m not hard to find, just look for the man in the ring whooping the ass of each and every person on this roster. (Lunde tosses the mic aside and exits the ring the same way he entered it before making his way to the back while his theme once again starts)

JR: My god, Scott Lunde’s a member of Intense Zone!!! What’s gonna happen next?!
 

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We return to see IZ GM, Dan Black, in his familiar office. Dan has a phone in his hand and is talking quietly.

BLACK
Yes, Lunde came over...that's right...I know...it'll be soon, I can assure you of that...look, I have to get ready. There's a match I have to attend to.

Dan hangs up, and starts to take off his tie, a determined look on his face.

JR
Who was Dan talking to? WHO, BAH GAWD? What nefarious plan does he have now? And who is facing Stephen Joseph?

PRL bit

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"Aww Naww" kicks up, and the crowd rises to their feet to cheer as Stephen Joseph strides down to the ring!

JR
Its time for Stephen's mystery opponent! Who could it be? One of Dan's allies? A member of the Lightning Crew? Dan himself?

SJ slides into the ring and salutes the fans as his music cuts. Stephen eyes the entranceway in anticipation.

Music hits up. A slow beat...a very familiar beat. It's "Ice Ice Baby"!

JR
MAH GAWD! That's the music of Mystery Eskimo!

A wall of white pyro shoots up along the stage, as a figure appears! Clad in sparkling blue mask and matching trunks, it appears to be Dan Black in his former incarnation, Mystery Eskimo!

The crowd POPS for this unexpected turn of events!

JR
What the HELL is going on here?!

Eskimo walks down to the ring slowly, saluting the fans! SJ looks on, one eyebrow raised. ME steps into the ring and flexes out, snapping his shoulders back and beckoning SJ on.

DING DING DING

JR
Well, here we go! Dan Black, for reasons unknown, has reverted to his former incarnation, the masked man, Mystery Eskimo! He competed as Eskimo for his entire OAOAST career until he unmasked himself and turned on the fans to become the GM of IZ!

Eskimo and Stephen lock up, with Eskimo quickly snapping SJ round into a hammerlock. Stephen immediately counters by twisting out and behind Eskimo and grabbing him into a full nelson! Eskimo shouts in alarm and drops down to his behind on the mat, breaking the hold. Eskimo grabs Stephen's legs and trips him onto his back, flipping over to cover but not even getting one before SJ pushes him off. Both men stand and get in each others faces to a pop!

Eskimo looks like backing off, but suddenly lands a right hand! SJ fires back as they start to brawl in the middle of the ring!

JR
Eskimo and Stephen have had some classic battles- is Dan trying to remind Stephen of their past by donning the garb of Eskimo? Or has he gone CRAZY, BAH GAWD!

Eskimo ducks a Popick forearm shot and nails a Penguin Kick! But Eskimo didnt get all of it, and SJ gets back up before Eskimo can cover. Eskimo whips him off the ropes and connects with a flying forearm, but the cover only gets 1.

Eskimo slaps on a front face lock and hoists SJ into the air, getting a snap suplex. Cover:

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

As Eskimo pulls SJ up he gets caught with a jawbreaker, and SJ starts to chop at Eskimo, rocking him back and drawing "WOOOO!"s from the crowd. Eskimo fires back with his own chops, but SJ regains the advantage with a short arm lariat that spins Eskimo around and down to the mat.

SJ starts to beat down Eskimo, and grabs at his mask, trying to pull it off!

JR
Stephen is obviously unimpressed with this charade! He wants to reveal Dan and get it on!

Eskimo pushes Popick off but gets a stiff kick to the head that sends him flopping onto his back once more. Cover:

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

SJ starts to work on the back of Eskimo, dropping a series of elbows followed by a backbreaker. SJ whips Eskimo into the turnbuckle HARD, and follows it with an equally hard whip to the opposite corner. Eskimo staggers out as SJ bounces off the ropes and dropkicks him in the back. Eskimo goes down, cover:

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

JR
Stephen going after the back of Eskimo, sensing a chance to do some damage before their big matches at Zero Hour and Anglemania.

SJ follows up with a high elevation belly to back suplex. Stephen immediatley picks Eskimo back up, wraps his arms around his midsection and gets a gut wrench suplex. SJ climbs to the second rope and drops a big elbow across the back of Eskimo. Cover:

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Stephen picks Eskimo up and goes to whip him to the ropes, but Eskimo reverses into the FROSTBITE FACELOCK!

JR
There's that crossface! Dan calls it the Heart of Ice now, but regardless of name its a deadly deadly hold!

Eskimo doesn't look to be using all his strength on the hold however, as his back is clearly hurting him, and SJ is able to make the ropes with little trouble. Eskimo breaks the hold and staggers up. SJ tries for a German suplex on Eskimo, but Eskie reverses it to one of his own, followed by another! And another! The cover, 1, 2, no!

Eskimo holds his back as he gets up and signals for a DDT, but SJ spins out and DDT's Eskimo. SJ bounces off the ropes and drops a big knee straight into the back of Eskimo.

JR
Dan's spine is taking a beating! This could be serious for him!

Popick goes for a hold on Eskimo...its the Frostbite Facelock!

JR
Stephen Joseph using Dan's own move against him! This will further weaken the back of Eskimo.

SJ doesnt have Eskimo's arm trapped properly though, and Eskimo slips free and kicks SJ in the back of the head. Eskimo goes for the Frostbite himself but SJ is right by the ropes and grabs them with both hands. Eskimo takes him by the waist and legs and pulls him off the ropes and over with an Ocean Cyclone suplex!

Eskimo hooks in the full nelson and hits a Dragon suplex! Hold for the cover:

ONE!

TWO!





NO, kickout!

Eskimo grabs SJ and tries for a piledriver, but SJ backdrops Eskimo to escape.

JR
More damage to the back of Eskimo!

SJ plants both knees in the back of Eskimo, takes his arms and rolls back, lifting Eskimo up into a surfboard type hold. Eskimo's back is painfully bent and his arm wavers. Eskimo tries to wriggle free and eventually Popick lets him drop, but doesnt let up the assault, using another backbreaker.

Cover:

ONE!

TWO!

THRRRR-KICKOUT!

Another kneedrop, but Eskimo rolls aside. Eskimo suddenly hits an eye rake out of sight of the referee and goes for Dan's Blackout stunner- but SJ pushes him away. Eskimo charges in, but gets tripped and rolled into a Boston Crab by Stephen! SJ cranks on the hold, working on the damaged back of Eskimo!

JR
Dan's back has taken a beating, and this could break it in HALF, BAH GAWD!

Eskimo's hand wavers...wavers....and he TAPS!

DING DING DING

GARY CAPPETTA
The winner of the match by submission, STEPHEN JOOOOSEPH!

The crowd POPS as SJ releases the hold, leaving Eskimo clutching his back. Stephen climbs a turnbuckle and salutes the fans!

JR
What a win for Stephen! Dan's mindgame, dressing as Mystery Eskimo, failed! Stephen has the momentum as we approach Zero Hour! Hey! What the hell-

There's someone else running down and into the ring! Its- Dan Black! Dan grabs Stephen and slams him off the turnbuckle, and locks in the Heart of Ice crossface!

Stephen shouts in pain as Dan cranks it on!

JR
MAH GAWD! That wasn't Black under the mask of Eskimo at all! It was all a set up!

Our referee is joined by four other officials, who eventually force Dan off Stephen. Black grabs a mic.

BLACK
This is why I will always beat you, Stephen! I know how you work! I know your methods! And thanks to my friend here-

Dan points at the still fallen "Eskimo"

BLACK
-I know you've been considering coming after my back. Just one more piece in the puzzle Stevie. One more piece.

Dan bends and gets in the face of Stephen, leering and grinning- and get's nailed with a punch! Stephen KIPS UP! Black frantically bails, sliding out of the ring and moving rapidly back up the aisle. SJ lets him go as the crowd BOOS Dan on his way.

JR
Dan was testing Stephen's game plan against him, whilst using some poor sap in an Eskimo mask to take the punishment! But what may be more important- its clear that Dan doesnt want to take SJ on one and one! He's afraid of him! I can't wait till Zero Hour when Dan runs out of excuses and games!

COMMERCIALS

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::The IntenseZone and Lightning Crew Gauntlet logos flash by on the screen. The OaOasT Anglepalooza 2004 logo flashes by on the screen. Cut to footage of the Puerto Rican Lightning/Shuffle Hardcore Match for the OaOasT North American Championship. Cut to the ending.::

JR (narrating):
PRL was pissed, but he still had a match to compete in later in the night. Puerto Rican Lightning took on The Shuffle for the OaOasT North American Championship in a Hardcore Match. PRL was the overall favorite to win the match. He viewed Shuffle as a man not in his league, even going so far as to fight him with one arm tied behind his back. The Shuffle, the UNDERDOG! IT WAS SAID THAT THE SHUFFLE WASN’T IN PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING’S LEAGUE. IT WAS SAID THAT THE SHUFFLE HAD NO CHANCE OF BEATING PRL. BUT THE SHUFFLE HAS PROVEN PRL WRONG. HE HAS PROVEN DAN BLACK WRONG. HE HAS PROVEN THE BOYS IN THE BACK WRONG. AND HE HAS PROVEN HIMSELF AND IS NOW THE HOLDER OF INTENSEZONE’S MOST PRESTIGOUS TITLE, THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE!!!

Jesse:
This is not possible! This is all some bad dream! Did THE SHUFFLE just defeat PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING? DID THE SHUFFLE JUST DEFEAT PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING?!!!

JR:
LOOK IN THE RING AND SEE WHO IS NOW RAISING THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE!

::”The Horror” continues playing. The Shuffle is still in the ring celebrating with the fans still cheering him. He looks at the North American Championship belt and becomes a little teary eyed. The Shuffle puts the NA Title belt over his right shoulder and gets The Mad Cappa to enter the ring.::

Jesse:
This is a nightmare! This is all a dream! When I wake up, PRL will still be the North American Champion!

JR:
THIS IS NOT A DREAM! THIS IS REAL! THE SHUFFLE HAS JUST DEFEATED PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING TO BECOME THE NEW OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION! THE NA BELT IS AWAY FROM THE CLUTCHES OF PRL! A NEW ERA HAS ARRIVED! WE GOT A NEW CHAMPION! WE GOT A NEW CHAMPION!!!

::The Mad Cappa enters the ring and gives Shuffle a hug. He raises his hands in victory and gets a loud pop. Puerto Rican Lightning now realizes what is happening, and he starts yelling. He looks at Cappa with a look of rage on his face. He yells “YOU!!!” and goes after Cappa, but decides to back off. The Mad Cappa places the OaOasT North American Championship belt over the waist of The Shuffle. The Shuffle starts crying and raises his hands in victory once again with the NA Title belt around his waist.::

JR:
CELEBRATE KID! YOU DESERVE IT! YOU DERSERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS YOU GET!!!

Jesse:
SHUFFLE WAS ABOUT TO LOSE UNTIL THE MAD CAPPA CAME IN! ONCE AGAIN, CRAPPA INTERFERES IN PRL’S LIFE AND COSTS HIM SOMETHING HE TREASURES, THE NORTH AMERICAN TITLE! IT’S BAD ENOUGH THAT THE MAD CAPPA HURT LINDSAY GONZALEZ EARLIER. NOW HE TAKES AWAY THE N.A. TITLE ALSO! THE MAD CAPPA IS OBSESS WITH MAKING PRL’S LIFE A LIVING HELL!

JR:
I can’t believe what we just seen. The Shuffle looked like he was about to lose. But then, The Mad Cappa came in and distracted Puerto Rican Lightning long enough that it allowed The Shuffle to do the Shuffle Bomb on Puerto Rican Lightning and win the match AND the North American Championship! The Shuffle has now made his mark in OaOasT history! He has his place. His name will go down in the record books as North American Champion! What a great match with an ending that couldn’t be any better!

Jesse:
That son-of-a-bitch! Mad Cappa just cost Puerto Rican Lightning the North American Title! Now, some loser jobber is wearing IntenseZone’s charter belt. The most important belt on IZ! We want to make IZ look good! This is the kind of stuff that will make people want to watch HeldDown!. This is not fair! Shuffle lost until Mad Cappa helped him! The match should be restarted! Where is Stephen Joseph? Tell him to restart this match! He's done it before, he can do it again!

JR:
I can tell you this. I believe The Shuffle will make a great OaOasT North American Champion. He won’t hide. He won’t try to talk his way out of defending it. He will defend his belt against ACTUAL OaOasT IntenseZone talent. He will be the complete opposite of PRL’s reign.

::”The Horror” by RJD2 begins playing again. The fans give The Shuffle a standing ovation and “SHUFFLE!” chants as Cappa and The Shuffle dance a little. Cappa even does the B. Diddy Shuffle to a pop. PRL is still contemplating what happened.::

JR:
THE SHUFFLE PULLED OFF THE UPSET OF THE 21st CENTURY! HE DEFEATED PRL WHEN NOBODY THOUGHT HE COULD! HE WAS THE ULTIMATE UNDERDOG AND HE IS NOW THE ULTIMATE IZ CHAMPION!

::The IntenseZone and Lightning Crew Gauntlet logos flash by on the screen. The OaOasT Anglepalooza 2004 logo flashes by on the screen. Cut to footage of PRL and The Mad Cappa in the Royal Rumble Match. Cut to PRL and The Mad Cappa tumbling out of the Rumble. The tumble is showed in slow motion from different angles, in different colors.::

JR:
The Mad Cappa had defeated Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and was now four members away from a match against Puerto Rican Lightning. Suffice to say, what he did to Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez after the match didn’t please Puerto Rican Lightning, and neither did Cappa interfering in the NA Title Match. PRL still contends that if it weren’t for The Mad Cappa, then PRL would still be the North American Champion. PRL is now just the Puerto Rican Champion, a belt that is NOT real, by the way, but he was furious at The Mad Cappa and he got a chance to take it out on Cappa during the Royal Rumble Match! PRL entered first, and The Mad Cappa entered soon after. There was a little twist to this Rumble, as OaOasT World Champion, Calvin Szechstein was entered in as #30 and therefore the OaOasT World Title was on the line. PRL and Cappa were in the Rumble for a good amount of time. PRL got to take on Zack Malibu, while The Mad Cappa got attacked by JINGUS by order of Puerto Rican Lightning. PRL and The Mad Cappa were both impressive in their Rumble debuts, and got into it towards the end, which caused them to both fall over the top rope and continue brawling. Both men had now lost their shot at becoming OaOasT World Champion, but they did NOT care. All they wanted to do was take each other out once and for all. Calvin Szechstein would end up winning the Royal Rumble Match meaning that there is no #1 Contender to the OaOasT World Heavyweight Champion. We still do not know what the AngleMania III main event will be!

::The IntenseZone and Lightning Crew Gauntlet logos flash by on the screen again. A caption reads “OAOAST INTENSEZONE JANUARY 27, 2004.” Clips are shown of PRL’s speech with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Clips are shown of The Mad Cappa/Cuban Wall & PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member Match. Cut to the ending of the match.::

JR (narrating):
Puerto Rican Lightning considered Anglepalooza 2004 to be one of the worst nights of his entire life. Not only did he lose the OaOasT North American Championship, but he also saw the love of his life get BUST A CAP’d and sprayed with beer, AND he ended up losing a chance to become OaOasT World Champion by being eliminated by his archrival. It was not a good night at all for Lightning, and it all was due to The Mad Cappa. So, it was because of this that PRL decided to punish Mad Cappa and make him suffer for what he done. PRL had The Mad Cappa continue the Lightning Crew Gauntlet by taking on both Cuban Wall and PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member in a Handicap Match. This was PROTOTYPE’S first match, and it was the match he was designed for since his name was PROJECT: CAPPA KILLER. Cuban Wall had only 1 lost in his OaOasT career, but was still one of the most brutal, stiff, and toughest S.O.B.’s to compete in the OaOasT. He also had one of the most devastating finishers in the OaOasT, the Lightning Crew Splash. PRL provided commentary with me on this night, and he was absolutely confident that the Lightning Crew Gauntlet would end on this night, and that The Mad Cappa would lose to two men, who combined weighed 500 lbs. Both men were tall, strong, and dominated The Mad Cappa as expected. They showed The Mad Cappa no mercy and that is exactly what PRL had wanted. The match was originally suppose to be Cappa vs. Cuban Wall, but PRL changed it to add PROTOTYPE to make the match harder for Cappa to win. But once again, like always, The Mad Cappa showed heart, guts, and determination and was able to take all the two monsters threw and STILL stand. Cappa took both Wall and PROTOTYPE’S finishers and still kicked out at 2! Cappa may not have been in the best shape following that match, but he held his head up high following this result, with PRL on commentary, here is the ending to the Handicap Match as part of the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. Round 5. The Mad Cappa vs. Cuban Wall and PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member.

PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member is in shock. The Mad Cappa begs the crowd to start showing him support. The crowd comes alive again and starts cheering The Mad Cappa loudly. They chant “CAP-PA! CAP-PA! CAP-PA! CAP-PA!” as The Mad Cappa starts to regain life. He punches PROTOTYPE. He still stands. He punches him again. He is still standing. Finally, The Mad Cappa slams his arms into PROTOTYPE’S head and escapes the Cappa Destroyer. The crowd goes wild as The Mad Cappa starts punching both PROTOTYPE and Cuban Wall. The Mad Cappa heads to the ropes, ducks a Wall clothesline, and gives Cuban Wall the Fall From Grace. The Mad Cappa starts slugging it out with PROTOTYPE. He does two punches, dances, and then does the IMPACT, but PROTOTYPE still stands. He tries again, but PROTOTYPE is still standing. The Mad Cappa heads to the ropes…but gets grabbed by PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member. PROTOTYPE turns Cappa around, and gets him into a pumphandle slam position. PROTOTYPE lifts up Mad Cappa, and then spins him around, and gives him a sitdown Powerbomb to loud boos.

PRL:
THE PROTOPLEX! THE PROTOPLEX! YES! THAT IS PROTOTYPE’S FINISH MOVE! THE MAD CAPPA HAS BEEN THE FIRST ONE TO FEEL THE PROTOPLEX AND I COULDN’T BE HAPPIER!!!

JR:
The Mad Cappa must be in pain!

PRL:
Of course he is! He just felt the power of the PROTOPLEX and it affected his neck and back!

Lindsay:
Yes! This is excellent. This is perfect!

PROTOTYPE yells at the crowd. He jaws with the booing fans, and flips them off. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” as Cuban Wall tells PROTOTYPE to continue the torture. PROTOTYPE yells as the crowd boos loudly. Mad Cappa holds his back and yells out in pain as PROTOTYPE grabs him and places him on his back with Cappa lying on PROTOTYPE’S back back first. PROTOTYPE yells and then gives The Mad Cappa a reverse F-5 with Cappa landing on his back instead of his face. The crowd boos.

Puerto Rican Lightning:
THE PERFECT FINISHING MOVE!!! PROTOTYPE JUST GAVE MAD CRAPPA THE PERFECT FINISHING MOVE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! THIS IS WONDERFUL! I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF THIS!

JR:
PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member has just given Mad Cappa both of his finishing moves. Cappa is down and is in pain.

PRL:
This is a great moment in OaOasT history! You are witnessing the end of Mad CRAPPA’S career right here!

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez:
WAY TO GO PROTOTYPE!

Cuban Wall laughs and smiles evilly. He looks at PROTOTYPE, and then heads to the ropes. Cuban Wall does the Lightning Crew Splash to loud boos.

JR:
AND CUBAN WALL FOLOWS WITH THE LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH!

Puerto Rican Lightning:
That is just the icing on the cake! I cannot believe I am seeing this! My two fellow Lightning Crew Members have worked together so well, and here they all, seconds away from ending this stupid Gauntlet and ending Mad CRAPPA’S CAREER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAA!!!!

JR:
IT LOOKS LIKE IT CAN BE OVER! THE MAD CAPPA IS DOWN AND OUT! HE CANNOT CONTINUE!

Cuban Wall covers The Mad Cappa.

JR:
THE MOVE THAT HAS PUT AWAY OPPONENT AFTER OPPONENT!

1…







2…










Three-NO!!!

JR:
AND THE MAD CAPPA KICKS OUT! THE MAD CAPPA HAS KICKED OUT OF THE LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH!

Puerto Rican Lightning:
WHAT? WHAT? NO! NO! WHAT IS GOING ON! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! DID THE MAD CAPPA JUST KICK OUT OF THE LIGHTING CREW SPLASH!? DID THE MAD CRAPPA JUST KICK OUT OF WALL’S FINISHING MOVE!

JR:
HE DID P.R.! AND CUBAN WALL IS IN SHOCK!

Cuban Wall cannot believe The Mad Cappa kicked out. PROTOTYPE is in shock also, but the crowd is ecstatic. They begin chanting “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” as Cuban Wall and PROTOTYPE become furious.

JR:
The Mad Cappa has taken three straight finishing moves, but he is still in this match. I cannot believe it!

PRL:
Come on guys! Concentrate! CONCENTRATE! TAKE HIM OUT!!! TAKE HIM OUT!!!

Lindsay:
Come on guys! Don’t stand there! Continue beating him up! Don’t let the fact that Mad Cappa kicked out of the Lightning Crew Splash fazed you at all! Come on! Do it! DO IT!!!

The crowd becomes hyper as Cuban Wall and PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member yell and scream. They decide to do one more double team on Mad Cappa. The crowd begins booing loudly and chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” hoping that it will distract the two LC members. Cuban Wall and PROTOTYPE pick up Mad Cappa and grab his neck. The crowd begins booing as PROTOTYPE and Wall smile.

JR:
OH NO! OH NO! This cannot be good. Not well at all!

PRL:
All right! This will do it. This will do it for sure! They are going to finish Mad Cappa once and for all. HA! HA! This will definitely do it! THIS WILL DO IT FOR SURE!

Cuban Wall and PROTOTYPE yell at the crowd, who respond with jeers. They clutch Mad Cappa’s neck and prepare to lift him up for a double Chokeslam. Suddenly, The Mad Cappa kicks Cuban Wall in his family jewels. And then Cappa kicks PROTOTYPE in the family jewels as well. The Mad Cappa kicks Cuban Wall and PROTOTYPE in the gut 1…







2…















NO!!!!

JR:
And The Mad Cappa kicks out just in the nick of time!

PRL:
DAMNIT!!!

Colombian Heat dropkicks The Mad Cappa back down. Heat kicks on Cappa some more and then lifts him up for a short-armed clothesline for two. Heat gets up and does a choking hand signal with an evil smile on his face, which causes the crowd to boo. Heat flashes some more gang signs and grabs his testicles. He trashtalks with the crowd and does the “You Can’t See Me” Hand signal.

PRL:
This is it! This is the ending! This is it! HERE WE GO! THE MATCH IS ABOUT TO END! THE MATCH IS ABOUT TO END!

Heat hits Cappa some more and then picks him up and sends him into the ropes. The Mad Cappa goes for the clothesline, but Heat ducks, stops, and kicks The Mad Cappa in the gut. The crowd explodes with boos and stands up in anticipation as Colombian Heat gets behind The Mad Cappa and grabs his arms. He lifts The Mad Cappa and screams loudly. The crowd boos as Colombian Heat screams and drops The Mad Cappa with the Colombian Necktie to a loud pop but it devolves to boos. Colombian Heat breathes a huge sigh of relief.

Puerto Rican Lightning:
YES!!! YES!!! ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!!! THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE!!! THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE!!! THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE HAS JUST BEEN PUT ON THE MAD CAPPA!!! THE SAME MOVE THAT COLOMBIAN HEAT PINNED THE MAD CRAPPA WITH IS THE SAME MOVE THAT WILL END THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAHAAAAAA!!! I AM LOVING THIS! I AM LOVING THIS!

JR:
The Mad Cappa has just suffered the Colombian Necktie! A move that no one has kicked out of since Colombian Heat joined the OaOasT!

PRL:
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAA!!! THE MATCH IS NOW OVER!!! THE MATCH IS ABOUT TO END!!! THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNLTET IS OVER!!! THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNLTET IS ABOUT TO END WITH THE MAD CAPPA NOT RECIEIVNG THE MATHC HE WANTS!!! THIS WILL BE A HAPPY ENDING! HAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAA!!! THE MAD CAPPA IS ABOUT TO SUFFER A P.R. NIGHTMARE!!! THE MATCH IS OVER!!!

JR:
It looks like the match is about to end! Colombian Heat hit the Colombian Necktie!

The crowd boos loudly, very loudly chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” as Colombian Heat smiles evilly and poses for the crowd. Some people throw garbage in his direction, but Heat doesn’t notice.

JR:
The Lightning Crew Gauntlet could be over at this very moment!

PRL:
Of course it will, Jim Ross! Now I can relax and worry about other things because Cappa will have no choice but to NOT fight me!

Colombian Heat covers The Mad Cappa. The crowd boos loudly, but the referee counts.

1…











2…
















2 ½














2 2/4



















2 ¾

















2.9999999999999999999999

















THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-----NO!!!! THE MAD CAPPA KICKS OUT OF THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE!!! THE CROWD EXPLODES!!! COLOMBIAN HEAT IS SHOCKED AND NOW WORRIED CLUTCHING HIS FOREHEAD!!!

JR:
AND OH MY GAWD~!!! THE IMPOSSIBLE JUST HAPPENED!!!

Puerto Rican Lightning:
WHAT!?!!!! WHAT!? WHAT?!!! NO!!! IT CAN’T BE!!! IT—IT—IT CAN’T—IT JUST CAN’T BE!!! DID THE MAD CRAPPA JUST KICK OUT OF THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE? DID THE MAD CRAPPA JUST KICK OUT
OF COLOMBIAN HEAT’S FINISHING MOVE? DID THE MAD CAPPA JUST NOT GET PINNED BY COLOMBIAN HEAT AFTER USING THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE? THE SAME MOVE THAT DEFEATED CRAPPA LAST WEEK IS THE SAME MOVE THAT HE KICKS OUT OF THIS WEEK?

JR:
THE MAD CAPPA HAS JUST MADE A COMEBACK IN THE MOST IMPORTANT MATCH IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET!!!

The crowd is now standing up and cheering like crazy.

JR:
COLOMBIAN HEAT HAS NO IDEA WHAT TO DO NOW!

PRL:
OF COURSE HE DOESN’T! EVERYONE IS SUPPOSED TO GO DOWN FOLLOWING THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE! INSTEAD, HE HAS TO CONTINUE THE MATCH KNOWING THAT THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE DID NOT WORK! IF THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE, IF THE VERTIBREAKER DID NOT WORK, THEN WHAT THE HELL WILL?

JR:
PERHAPS YOU HAVE UNDERESTIMATED THE MAD CAPPA’S WILL TO WIN?

PRL:
NEVER!
Colombian Heat becomes worried and looks at PRL for help.

PRL:
I DON’T KNOW! HIT HIM!

Colombian Heat punches The Mad Cappa in the face, but The Mad Cappa is unaffected by the punch and stands on one knee. Colombian Heat becomes worried, but he punches him in the face again. The Mad Cappa kneels in front of Colombian Heat and dares him to punch him again. Heat does so, so The Mad Cappa stands up and yells in his face. The crowd stands up and goes crazy cheering and chanting “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” as Cappa shakes in the ring walking around, dancing and jumping up and down as only he can. He is “Cap-ping Up”.

Puerto Rican Lightning:
What the hell is he doing? What is he Hulk Hogan or something?

JR:
He is not Hulk Hogan! He is The Mad Cappa! This is the OaOasT. You will not find no Nathan Jones, no Triple H’s, no Mark Henry’s, and no John Heidenreich’s here!

PRL:
And that really makes you sad, right?

JR:
… Yes.

PRL:
Don’t just stand there like an imbecile, Heat! HIT HIM!

JR:
The Mad Cappa is “Cap-ping Up!” The Mad Cappa is the “Comeback Kid.” He came back from a career-threatening injury. He came back from numerous LC beatdowns. And now he is coming back in this matchup.

Colombian Heat punches The Mad Cappa in the face again. Cappa no-sells it and smiles. The crowd cheers as Cappa punches Colombian Heat in the face two times, dances, and then drops him to the mat with the IMPACT~!

JR:
IMPACT has taken Colombian Heat down!
PRL:
Ugh. Oh no! Oh God no! Please don’t tell me it ends like this! Please don’t tell me it ends with The Mad CRAPPA winning. Oh no. Oh God no! I don’t even want to think about something that horrible!

The Mad Cappa picks up Colombian Heat and whips him into the ropes. Colombian Heat goes for a clothesline, but Cappa ducks, and hits the Fall From Grace to a big pop.

JR:
The Fall From Grace!

PRL:
Come on! Come on! Get up! GET UP! HEAT GET UP! GET UP!!!

The Mad Cappa stops to dance for a bit and then stares a hold into Puerto Rican Lightning. The crowd is going crazy chanting “CAP-PA! CAP-PA! CAP-PA! CAP-PA!” as Cappa smiles and heads to the top rope with Colombian Heat lying on the mat.

PRL:
UGH! HE IS NOW STEALING MY MOVE! MY MOVE! I INVENTED THE TOP ROPE LEGDROP! I INVENTED IT! THAT IS MY SIGANTURE MOVE! THE MAD CAPPA CRUSHER 2003 IS MY OWN MOVE!

JR:
Regardless, Cappa is now going up for the Legdrop. And it connects!

The Mad Cappa goes for the cover.

1…















2…












Three---COLOMBIAN HEAT KICKS OUT!!!

PRL:
Whew. That was a close one right there.

JR:
Heat continues to take a beating from The Mad Cappa. Irish Whip to the ropes. SPINEBUSTER!

The crowd stands up and cheers very, very loudly as The Mad Cappa stands over Colombian Heat and gets an idea.

PRL:
Oh no! Don’t tell me he is going to do what I think he is going to do, is he?

JR:
He is, P.R.! I think he is!

The Mad Cappa stands over Colombian Heat and gets in position to deliver the Puerto Rico Elbow. He takes off his shirt to ladies squeals, and throws it to the crowd. He does some weird hand signals, and a little shimmy, then bounces off the ropes, leaps over Colombian Heat, and leaps over the other ropes.

Puerto Rican Lightning:
This is my move! THAT MOVE IS COPYRIGHTED! I SHOULD SUE THE MAD CRAPPA FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! I SHOULD SUE THE MAD CRAPPA FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!

The Mad Cappa does a little dance, which causes the crowd to pop some more and does the Puerto Rico Elbow to a loud pop.

JR:
The Puerto Rico Elbow connects on Colombian Heat!

The Mad Cappa points at Puerto Rican Lightning and trash talks with him. Lightning and Cappa engage in another staredown. Their faces become fill with rage as the two archrivals engage in a heated yelling contest with the crowd standing up and going crazy. PRL stands up from his chair and sneers at Cappa.

Puerto Rican Lightning:
You got no chance Mad Cappa. You hear that, NO CHANCE! NO CHANCE IN HELL! IN HELL! IN HELL!

The Mad Cappa continues yelling with PRL when suddenly the crowd’s cheers turn to boos. Cuban Wall runs into the ring and goes after Cappa.

PRL:
And here comes the reinforcements!

Before Cuban Wall can attack, The Mad Cappa notices him and ducks his clothesline attempt. The Mad Cappa punches Cuban Wall twice, dances, and then does the IMPACT~! Onto Cuban Wall. Cuban Wall gets back up and they continue brawling while Colombian Heat struggles to get up. The Mad Cappa kicks Cuban Wall in the gut…and he receives the BUST A CAP to a loud pop. Wall crawls out of the ring.

PRL:
DAMNIT! SEND MORE OUT HERE! SEND MORE OUT HERE! GANG UP ON HIM! GANG UP ON HIM!

Spanish Fly, Vitamin X, and Thomas Rodriguez head into the ring. Meanwhile, Heat crawls out of the ring and calls to the timekeeper’s table.

JR:
The LC is ganging up on Mad Cappa.

The crowd boos loudly as Fly, X, and Rodriguez send Cappa to the mat. Vitamin X picks up Cappa and goes for a punch, but Cappa blocks it, and gives Vitamin X the BUST A CAP to a big pop.

PRL:
NO!!!

TMC elbows Spanish Fly and Thomas Rodriguez. Cappa punches Thomas out of the ring, and he gives Spanish Fly the BUST A CAP to another loud pop. Fly leaps up and falls back first down to the mat.

JR:
Mad Cappa is now decimating the Lightning Crew!

PRL:
Not for long!

JR:
Wait a minute, what does Colombian Heat have?

Spanish Fly exits the ring as Mr. Boricua and PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member enter. Colombian Heat grabs his pimp cane and slowly crawls back into the ring. TMC fights off Boricua and PROTOTYPE with the IMPACT to both men. The crowd is still going crazy as the rest of The Lightning Crew lie around the ringside area. Cappa clotheslines PROTOTYPE over the top rope and gives Mr. Boricua the BUST A CAP to a loud pop. Boricua exits the ring when suddenly, Colombian Heat smashes his pimp cane across Mad Cappa’s back causing it to break. The crowd boos loudly as Mad Cappa falls to the mat.

JR:
BAWD GAWD WHAT A SHOT FROM THAT—THAT PIMP CANE!

Puerto Rican Lightning:
AND THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

The crowd boos loudly and chants “HEAT SUCKS! HEAT SUCKS! HEAT SUCKS! HEAT SUCKS!” but Colombian Heat doesn’t care and just raises some gang signs. He trash talks to the crowd and grabs his testicles, and then laughs his evil laugh while The Mad Cappa recovers from the cane shot. He dances a bit and spits at the crowd. He flips the crowd up and picks up Cappa slapping him in his face.

JR:
What a shot of disrespect from Colombian Heat!

Puerto Rican Lightning:
And now it is finally going to happen! The Mad Cappa will finally lose! The Lightning Crew Gauntlet will end! Colombian Heat will make The Lightning Crew proud! Go, HEAT, GO! GO, HEAT, GO! GO COLOMBIAN HEAT!

JR:
This does NOT look good for The Mad Cappa. He is still feeling the effects of that pimp cane shot and who knows how stable his back is? Colombian Heat can take the advantage and win the match ending The Mad Cappa’s dreams of getting a match against Puerto Rican Lightning!

PRL:
That’s not going to happen any night!

JR:
This is—this—this is just—just too depressing to watch. Cappa is one his knees, being carried around by Colombian Heat.

PRL:
It’s all over, Cappa. It’s all over. All your dreams. Your hopes. Your future. It is all about to fade away. Face it, Cappa. You’re nothing. NOTHING! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!

The crowd continues booing loudly and chanting “HEAT SUCKS! HEAT SUCKS! HEAT SUCKS! HEAT SUCKS!” and “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” and throw garbage into the ring as Colombian Heat picks up the tired, in pain, fatigued, sweaty, breathing heavily, dazed, and confused Mad Cappa. Heat spits in the crowd’s direction as he stands Mad Cappa up.

JR:
This doesn’t look good for Mad Cappa.

But then, in a burst of energy, The Mad Cappa kicks Colombian Heat in the gut, and gives him the BUST A CAP to a loud, humongous pop.

JR:
AND WHAT THE? WHAT THE? OH MY! OH MY GAWD~!!! THE BUST A CAP! THE BUST A CAP!!! THE MAD CAPPA HAS JUST HIT THE BUST A CAP ON COLOMBIAN HEAT!!! HE HIT THE BUST A CAP OUT OF NOWHERE! NOWHERE!

Puerto Rican Lightning:
WHAT? NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! COME ON LIGHTNING CREW! GET UP! GET UP LIGHTNING CREW! COME ON LC! COME ON AND GET UP! DAMNIT! GET UP! GET UP! GET UP!!!

The crowd goes wild as Colombian Heat falls to the mat back first and acts like he is in a seizure. The Mad Cappa smiles and covers Colombian Heat.

JR:
COVER HIM!

PRL:
NO! NO!!! IT CAN’T END LIKE THIS! IT JUST CAN’T!!! IT JUST CAN’T END LIKE THIS!!! NO!!!

1…



















2…






























3!!!!


*DING DING DING*

JR:
CAPPA DID IT! CAPPA DID IT! MAD CAPPA! MAD CAPPA! MAD CAPPA! MAD CAPPA!!!

Puerto Rican Lightning:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Gary Michael Cappatetta:
Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match, and WINNER of The Lightning Crew Gauntlet, and will NOW be receiving a shot at the Puerto Rican Championship against Puerto Rican Lightning, THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
A!!!!

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool begins playing again. The Mad Cappa smiles a wide smile and gets his arms raised by the referee. Colombian Heat is still lying on the mat, struggling to get up, while the rest of The Lightning Crew walk to the entrance, all in pain. PRL stands up and throws a temper tantrum at the announcer’s table. The Mad Cappa gets the crowd hyped up, waving his hands in the air and climbing the turnbuckles, getting the crowd to cheer louder and louder. The crowd is going crazy chanting “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” as Cappa smiles and yells out “I GOT MY SHOT! I GOT MY SHOT!”::

Puerto Rican Lightning:
I can’t believe it. I can’t believe I agreed to this stupid Gauntlet!

JR:
Well it’s too late now to back out of it. You are LEGALLY BINDED to a one-on-one match against The Mad Cappa. And there is NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO BACK OUT OF THIS MATCH! YOU HEAR THAT, P.R.? NOTHING!!! NOTHING!!! NOTHING—

PRL:
SHUT UP! I GOT IT! I GOT IT! As much as I hate to say it, The Mad Cappa did what I wanted him to do. He defeated all 8 members of The Lightning Crew. I gotta give him propz for at least doing that.

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” continues playing as The Mad Cappa continues standing in the ring smiling, dancing, and jumping up and down. Cappa makes the international “I-Want-The-Belt-Around-My-Waist” hand motion and puts one finger in the air symbolizing his match against PRL. The crowd cheers.::

PRL (distraught):
Aw, shut up, you stupid fans!

JR:
You said it couldn’t be done. You signed the contract and made it legally binding because you thought that The Mad Cappa couldn’t defeat every member of The Lightning Crew. You thought he couldn’t defeat Mr. Boricua. You were proven wrong. You thought he couldn’t defeat Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. You were proven wrong. You thought he couldn’t defeat Cuban Wall and PROTOTYPE in a Handicap Match. You were proven wrong. You thought he couldn’t defeat Colombian Heat or Vitamin X. You were proven wrong. For 2 months, The Mad Cappa has proved you wrong week in and week out. And now you must pay the price. You WILL defend your Puerto Rican Championship against The Mad Cappa. The question is at what date will this one-on-one match happen and it WILL happen.

PRL:
SHUT UP JR! DON’T MAKE ME SEND PROTOTYPE AFTER YOU AGAIN! I GOT TO THINK! THIS IS SOMETHING I DID NOT EXPECT! I EXPECT CAPPA TO GO DOWN IN A BLAZE OF GLORY! I DID NOT ACTUALLY EXPECT HIM TO WIN THE DAMN LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET!!! I SET THIS UP BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WOULD LOSE AND I COULD GET HIM OUT OF MY HAIR! WELL NOW, THIS IS SOMETHING COMPLETELY NEW TO ME! I NEED TIME TO THINK!

JR:
When will the match take place?

Puerto Rican Lightning:
WILL YOU SHUT UP? I NEED TIME TO SORT THINGS OUT!

JR:
AW, KISS MY ASS!!!

PRL:
No thank you! Now, if you’ll excuse, I need to get my things together. I need to think about the date of the match. The stipulations. And I got to confront Colombian Heat and The Lightning Crew for FAILING ME IN THIS GAUNLET! I AM VERY ANGRY AT COLOMBIAN HEAT RIGHT NOW AND HE WILL HEAR FROM ME NEXT WEEK! HE HAS A WEEK TO RUN, BECAUSE NEXT WEEK I WILL PUNISH HIM FOR FAILING ME THIS WEEK!!! COLOMBIAN HEAT WILL GET PUNISH NEXT WEEK!!!

::Colombian Heat slowly leaves the ring. He is shocked that he lost and is sad. The Mad Cappa is still in the ring celebrating.::

PRL:
Next week, all the questions will be answered. I will punish Colombian Heat. I will address the crowd about the end of the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. And I will reveal the date of the PRL/Mad Cappa Puerto Rican Championship Match.

JR:
Next week looks to be a barnburner! The Lightning Crew Gauntlet has finally ended this week, and it was won by The Mad Cappa! Way to go Cappa! Way to go!

PRL:
SHUT UP!

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool begins playing again. The Mad Cappa heads to a turnbuckle and poses to a loud pop. The Mad Cappa looks directly at Puerto Rican Lightning and gives him a mean look. Puerto Rican Lightning looks at The Mad Cappa and sneers. He stands up and grabs his Puerto Rican Championship belt and raises it for Cappa to see. He points to it while Cappa continues staring a hole in him.::

Puerto Rican Lightning:
No Chance. No Chance. No Chance In Hell. Do you hear that? DO YOU HEAR ME YOU BASTARD? THERE IS NO CHANCE IN HELL THAT YOU WILL EVER BEAT ME!!! NOT A CHANCE IN HELL THAT YOU WILL WIN THE PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

::Puerto Rican Lightning stands up on top of the announcer’s table and raises his Puerto Rican Championship belt in Mad Cappa’s direction. He yells at Mad Cappa.::

Puerto Rican Lightning:
NO CHANCE IN HELL!!! YOU HEAR THAT YOU SON OF A BITCH?!!! NO CHANCE IN HELL!!! NO CHANCE IN HELL!!! YOU WILL NEVER BEAT ME!!! NEVER!!! NEVER!!! NO CHANCE IN HELL!!! NO CHANCE IN HELL!!! No chance in hell! No chance in hell!!! NONE!!! No chance in hell!!!

JR:
The Mad Cappa will get what he wants. A Puerto Rican Championship Match against Puerto Rican Lightning. The question is when? Back with the Anglesault ceremony, after this!

::FADE OUT::

::COMMERCIALS::

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ANGLESAULT MOMENT

COURTESY:
AngleMania
April 2002
OAOAST Home Entertainment

FINK
The next Match is the OAOAST Championship Match, and in this match there will be NO-DISQUALIFICATION!

JR
Who made that stipulation?'

Medal hits and AngleSault gets the 'CrazyMadFacePop~!' of the century! Firewroks hit and someone gets burnt in the crowd fromt the napalm like sparks! AS climbs into the ring does the Kurt Angle lifted arms spin the centre of the ring.

'Time to play the Game...', Triple H comes out and the fans boo so INTENSELY that it counter balances Triple H's INTENSITY and Triple H seems a bit overawed. Rubbish is pelted at Triple H as poses with the belt.

Suddenly Medal hits again and 'The Patriot' comes down to the ring. Patriot gets on the mic and says that Commissioner Nash(sorry) has made him the special guest referee!

JR
This is bad for AS! AS and his hero Angle both stole Patriot's music! Damn Nash and his Politics! The Game is good enough at burying people, he doesn't need Nash helping him every step of the way!

AS get in Patriot's face as the bell rings! Shoving match between AS and Patriot. Patriot pushes AS into a quick cradle by HHH!
Quick Count! 1-2-KickOut!

JR
It was almost over before it started!

AS gets up and swings at Patriot, Patriot ducks and HHH nails AS with a clothesline!

Quick Cover, Quick Count, 1-2-Kick Out!

AS trips HHH coming up and starts working the knee HHH injured last year. AS uses the ropes, Turnbuckles, Chairs and Submission holds to torture HHH's knee. HHH makes a few comebacks but AS is just too good tonight. AS goes for the irish whip, HHH counters into a clothesline, AS ducks and hits the AngleSlam!

AS covers HHH!

1-2- Patriot refuses to count! AS gets up and grabs Patriot! HHH low blows AS and sets up the Pedigree! AS counters into the Catapult!
AS catapults HHH into Patriot and knocks him clean out of the ring!
HHH turns around and is hit with a another AngleSlam!
AS then locks on the Figure-4! Even using the ropes for leverage!
HHH is locked in for several minutes and starts to tap! But theres no referee!

Earl Hebner runs down and signals for the bell but Patriot grabs his arm and breaks it!

Patriot breaks up the Figure-4 and hits the AS with an AngleSlam.
HHH crawls his limp body onto AS for the cover.

Fast Count 1-2-Kick Out!

Patriot and HHH don't believe it! But they lay a beating on AS all the same.

Lights go out!

Pink StrobeLights shine on the Entrance stage.

Bret Hart walks out and goes straight after Patriot! Chasing him out through the crowd!

JR
I guess they've got some unsettled business from 1997!

HHH remains calm and Pedigrees and covers AS! TrebleCleft comes running down to the ring in a Referee shirt! TrebleCleft counts the pin, 1-2-Kick Out!

JR
AS just won't stay down!

HHH and TrebleCleft set up the Spike Piledriver!
AS backdrops HHH and chases TrebleCleft around the ringside.
HHH blindsides AS, as AS pummels TrebleCleft!

HHH signals to the back for help, and the tWo run down to the ring!
Major beatdown on AS!

JR
Damnit AS is losing the war!

CUE PORNO MUSIC BAYBEE!

The aWo run down to ringside! A gang war erupts in the ring!
CWM Spears TrebleCleft! SG Stunners Hall! Big Rock Bottoms Test!
Caboose Emerald Fusion's X-Pac! AP Tiger Drives Some Guy in the front row with a tWo shirt on! GH Diamond Cuts HBK! AS clears up the rest!
aWo chases the tWo out through the crowd!

Just HHH and AS remain!

AS whips HHH, but telegraphs the backdrop! Face Buster to AS!
HHH sets up the Pedigree, but AS counters it into a backdrop!
AS nails the AngleSault! Hebner recovers, 1-2-Nash pulls Hebner out of the ring and takes him out!

Nash gets in the ring and nails AS with the Big Boot! Nash Jacknifes AS!
Nash pulls HHH onto AS, and Nash counts the fall!

1-2-Kick Out!

HHH and Nash look at each other wandering what it's going to take to keep AS down! Nash grabs the OAOAST Belt and swings at AS who ducks! HHH is nailed by the Belt! Nash swings the Belt at AS who ducks, AngleSlam to Nash! HHH get's to his feet and kicks AS to the gut to set up the Pedigree once again!

AS counter's and grabs HHH's leg and locks on the AngleLock!
HHH refuses to tap saying he'll never job to AS!

Chris Jericho appears through the crowd and tells the Time Keeper to ring the bell!

DINGDINGDING!

Jericho spits on HHH.

The Crowd go ApeShit!!

FINK
The winner of the Match and NEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW One & Only AngleSault Thread HeavyWeight Champion of the World, AngleSault!!!

AS picks up the Belt and stares at it and starts to cry!

The aWo return to the ring and lay a beating on HHH who has curled into the foetus position and is sucking his thumb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The aWo spray 'aWo 4-Life, Just 2 Olympic For You!' on HHH!!!

AS spays aWo on the Belt, and is lifted onto the shoulders of the aWo for the emotional celebration!!!

The following has been a CLASSIC ANGLESAULT MOMENT.

AS returns later TONIGHT! ONLY ON IZ!

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As we return from break the ring mat is now drapped in a red carpet (dun dun dunn!), red, white and blue spotlights shine on the crowd, as J.R. (dressed in a tuxedo) stands in the center of the ring. It looks like a prom, only without the ho's who give it up faster than atlethes in "retirement."

J.R.
I'd like to thank everyone for coming out tonight for this very special, and sure to be historic night in OAOAST history. Before we bring out our special guest I'd like to point out some of the dignitaries ringside: all the living Miss America winners, former U.S. Presidents Ford, Carter, Bush Sr. & Clinton -- thank you for joining us tonight. Also here tonight the entire New York Yankees and Georgie himself. Last but not least the name whose inspired AngleSault, the real American Idol Mr. Kurt Angle. How 'bout a nice round of applause for our guests tonight.

And now ladies and gentlemen, the reason you are here in attendence, listening to this on OAOAST Radio, reading the live transcript on our sponsers TSM site. I give you the man whose cyber-loins spawned the OAOAST, the man, the myth, the legend, not just a pretty face, the man who ran Jeff Weaver outta N.Y.C., the master and commander of Boston, the 2 time OAOAST Champion, he's the Godfather & Scarface rolled up into one -- ANGLESAULT!!!

The crowd busts into excitement as "Dream On" blasts over the PA system.

PYRO starts firing from all over the arena.

SHOT OF THE ENTRANCE WAY

A shadow emgeres from the smoke to reveal...Batman -- no, Anglesault!

As cooly as ever AS spins around like "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Fans nearly tip over the guardrails trying to touch AS as he walks towards the ring. For no apparent reason AS begins kissing as many women as he can before finally reaching the ring.

AS enters the ring and shakes J.R.'s & Tony The Body's hand before looking around the entire arena in awe due to the Angle-Mania running wild, brother. Whatcha gonna do?!

JR
Anglesault, great to have you back on the show you built, IZ.

The fans' cheer drown out the audio when AS tries to speak. 'Sault waits a minute or two, letting the fans cheer themselves out before speaking.

ANGLESAULT
Dorthy was right when she said 'there's no place like home...' man, what a rush!

'Sault pumps his fist in the air and the crowd responses with a chant of AN-GLE-SAULT, AN-GLE-SAULT, AN-GLE-SAULT!

ANGLESAULT
I normally don't thank anybody but myself, but tonight I must thank Dan Black (crowd boos) for allowing me to appear on IZ despite the fact I don't have a signed contract.

JR is taken by surprise at AS's comment despite the fact that has been reported all over the internet.

ANGLESAULT
Which means J.R., I could take my coat off and kick somebody's ass if I wanted to...

Crowd cheers.

ANGLESAULT (CONT'D)
but I'm not going to, even though when the red carpet is out there's usually a little man-to-man talk. I'm hear tonight to receive an award, so let's do it, eh. Let's do it.

JR
Okay, champ. Before we do that let's take a look at some of 'Sault's accomplishments:

1st OAOAST Champion
2-time OAOAST Champion
Leader of aWo
Executive Producer, OAOAST Entertainment 2003


JR (CONT'D)
Well worthy of the first ever OAOAST Lifetime Achivement Award. Here to present the award representing the OAOAST, and you can see if he'll win an Oscar next month on ABC for Best Motion Picture, "Fast Times At Pittsburgh High: The New Class"...Tony "The Body."

Nice applause for Tony.

TONY
Thank you J.R. Anglesault, I'd like to read a letter on behalf of OAOAST Entertainment.
(pulling out a white letter)

"We are gather here tonight to honor a man whose hardwork turned the OAOAST from a little-known place into one of the biggest e-fed companies known to mankind.

Your accomplishments outway your past attempts to overthrow the board of directors..."

AS shrugs his shoulders as if he's saying, 'oh, yeah, I forgot about that.'

"...Since your mini-retirement to recover from injuries suffered from the grueling world of professional wrestling, your work behind the scenes as Executive Producer until your retirement last year is greatly appreciated by not only the board but the men and women who compete night in and night out.

OAOAST Entertainment thanks you for your contributions and are proud to present you with the first ever OAOAST Lifetime Acheivement award."

Tony puts the letter back into his pocket and hands AS a plaque. Like any award presentation both men shake hands and kiss...Okay, they didn't kiss. Only a handshake.

The crowd looks towards the entrance way, Dan Black is on his way to the ring, clipboard in hand.

JR
I don't know what's this about.

ANGLESAULT
General reply is it, J.R.? But I did tell about the red carpet confrontation. ESP?

DAN
'Sault, welcome to my show. I just want to see you deserve everything you're getting here tonight. I know you've been gone for a while but I'd love to have you back full time on IZ. Here's a contract, as you can see there's a blank space where the dollar sign is at. You know what that means, write your price the tabs on NorthStar.

Dan hands the clipboard over to AS. Anglesault looks over the contract, nodding his head.

ANGLESAULT
Danny boy, I've known you since you were just a little fish in a big pond. I was here when you moved up the "people you know in high places" ladder. You remind me of George Steinbrenner; people who bust their balls to put a winning team on the field, in your case, the ring. I admire that greatly. I share your passion to see IZ rise to the top like it did so proudly when I was giving my body to the show. Which brings me to IZ' roster. Night after night I went full speed in that ring like it would be my last day on earth. I am the face of this company. I am the reason why those people sitting in the stands pay their hard earn money to fit their asses into those 15, 20, 50, 75, 100-250 dollar seats despite the fact their asses are too goddamn fat to fit into those very seats. And what do I see from IZ -- a lack of focus. A lack of focus! IZ so-called talent needs a kick in the ass and guess who's the guy who needs to do the kicking?

CROWD
Anglesault!

AS looks at the crowd.

ANGLESAULT
Me.

Dan Black smiles.

JR (who's back at the booth)
Oh yeah!

ANGLESAULT
The fact HeldDown tried to bury me by showing one of the few times I've lost (and boys, Bill Watts you ain't) gives me enough reason to come back but I must decline your offer to join IZ.

Dan's once happy facial expression is now one of anger and rage.

DAN
Why not?! You can name your price stupid!

ANGLESAULT
See I told you the red carpet leads to a man-to-man talk. But to answer your question...you're the reason Dan. All of IZ's problems are your fault. I'm sure you'd love to get me to sign a contract but I have all the money in the world. There's something else I want...

DAN
Listen you bloody asshole! I didn't waste my time petitioning the board to give you some reward just to be told no-- oh!

The sound of static. The mic has dropped.

JR
This ain't the hip hop awards.

AS has Dan by the throat. AS cocks his hand back and pun...Tony quickly grabs 'Sault's hand. "This isn't the time," Tony tells AS who agrees as he lets go of Dan.

Dan acts like a big shot, then his cellphone RINGS! After listening to whoever was calling Dan rushes off to the back.

JR
What the hell was that about? Dan Black was about to get his ass handed to him before cooler heads prevailed. He gets a phone call afterwards and runs off. Dan has been acting very strange the last few weeks behind the scenes.

AS picks up the mic.

ANGLESAULT
(looking at the stage manager)
Don't count me down, this is my night.

Crowd pops.

ANGLESAULT (CONT'D)
And since it's my night I want to issue a challenge to the OAOAST Champion. Being Mr. OAOAST, the only man to main event AngleMania TWICE, a two-time OAOAST Champion, God's gift to you little people; I'd say my work speaks for itself. Anytime. Any place. Anglesault vs. either -- * WHACK *

JR
What the hell? Anglesault just got nailed with a steel chair by Tony The Body! This night has been out of control.

Tony stops away on the former OAOAST champ, bashing the chair into the back of AS. Tony begins hammering AS's forehead, now bleeding, with right hands.

"It's always about you, bastard!" Tony shouts as he continues punching AS. "You could of helped, but no..."

Tony opens up the chair and places it in the center of the ring.

JR
Where the hell is security? Why isn't anybody helping out?

Tony whips AS to the ropes and delivers the OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE on the steel chair, causing the chair's seat to give in leaving AS stuck, his ass on the mat while his legs hang over the bar that supports the seat.

JR
My God! AS just got -- my God! Anglesault's body is jammed in that chair, shaped like a human "V". Tony stands above Anglesault, arms raised in victory. No! No! Fans, I'm sorry we outta time. No, damnit!!

The show goes off the air with a close up of AS still stuck in the chair, bleeding.

COPYRIGHT MMIV
OAOAST ENTERTAINMENT
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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