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OAOAST TMW: A comedy/erotic e-fed

TMW Ascension 4


Chanel #99

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***ReX Vs Fabian Nystrom***
ReX sized up to Fabian and did not like what he saw.

REX
I got zero use for pretty boys and bastards!

FABIAN
I'm the former, but definitely not the later. You, however, are just one thing. Dead.

REX
I don't think so!

Rex threw a lariat that got ducked, then ate a wave fists to the face.

REX
Bring that shit to me!

Fabian brought it alright, blasting ReX with an uppercut not the European variety but the real style that dumped him into the corner. From there Fabian charged in and walloped ReX with a pair of double knees! Rather than let ReX fall, Fabian just leant into him and smiled for the camera.

REJECT
If I'm being honest, I liked TMW better before Fabian showed up. What's he want with us anyway?

MATTHEWS
You gotta let love in, partner. Fabian wants to be around his brother. 

ReX didn't much care for the showboating and threw Fabian over the ropes and onto the ring apron. A response was given as Fabian clocked him with a leaping enziguri. It dropped ReX to a knee, and Fabian flew in with a crossbody block, but ReX countered with a lariat to knock him out the air!

REX
DOMINANT!

“BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!”

REX
DOMINANT!

FABIAN
Shut up, will you?

ReX grabbed hold of Fabian and whipped him into the ropes, but was ran through with a lariat from the centuries old vampire. Fabian then impressed by using a standing moonsault into a two count. A two that ReX pressed Fabian away from. The muscle man jumped upright and booted Fabian in the gut then worked him over with clubbing blows until he was able to hit an Oklahoma stampede.

REX
STRENGTH!

“BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!”

REJECT
If you don't understand what a monstrosity is just picture ReX coming at you at a hundred miles per hour.

MATTHEWS
That's a scary thought.

Going to the second rope, Rex was able to hit a a body splash onto Fabian, that led to a two count. He then twisted his vampire foe over into a crab and demanded a submission. But Fabian was able to use his supernatural strength to push his rival off and send him out of the ring! ReX was furious at this, yet started digging under the ring and came up with an epi-pen!

MATTHEWS
ReX is injecting himself again!

REX
I'M A MONSTROSITY!

The muscled up and roided up ReX returned to the ring and hit a shocked Fabian with a press slam into the cables. Nystrom was dumped back to ReX who proceeded to overpower him with an inverted body slam. From there, ReX hit the ropes and executed a rolling thunder that shocked the crowd.

REX
I will NOT BE STOPPED!

“BBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Put on the top rope, Fabian tried to fight against ReX's machinations. But his efforts were no good as ReX hit an avalanche belly to belly!

“OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!”

However, Fabian was able to kick out the pin! ReX was fully intent on winning the match though and sought his pop up powerbomb finisher. But, Fabian managed to escape the powerbomb part and was on ReX with supernatural speed.

FABIAN
Why don't we see how a monstrosity tastes?

Yes, Fabian was ready to chew through ReX's neck, but he was halted by TRISTIAN NYSTROM!

TRISTIAN
You don't want to do that, Fabian!


Fabian couldn't even answer as ReX seized him for the pop up powerbomb known as The Syringer and took the win!

Winner: ReX, via pinfall

Post-match Fabian glared at Tristian and it seemed like he might hit him, yet instead he walked off shaking his head.

REJECT
Why did Tristian come to ReX's aid? What does Tristian care if ReX gets his neck nicked?

MATTHEWS
Odd times around TMW, partner.

Terry Taylor stood backstage with Amber O'Shea ahead of her Hotties title match, and got a few words from her.

AMBER
Honestly, Terry, anyone is capable of beating anyone on any given night.

TERRY
I don't know, I couldn't beat Glass. Even as the Red Rooster.

AMBER
But, I could, No scratch that. I will beat Glass Juliet. Vampire? Doesn't matter. I have to deal with Colin every day of my life. Who can be more of a handful than Colin? Not Glass Juliet, but I will give her a fistful of my mind.
 

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***The Challenge Qualifier: Sumeragi Vs Jesse Ferguson Vs Wesley Singleton Vs Sgt.Holt Vs Burlington Pembrokshire Vs K-Rawk***

MATTHEWS
Partner, the stars of tomorrow compete today for the right to be in The Challenge: Singled Out.

REJECT
The future is now, Matthews, one TMW performer gets to enter the biggest series of matches they've ever seen. 

MATTHEWS
It could be a dream come true for one man.

Jesse wanted to start with introductions and character backgrounds but got tossed out the ring by Wesley. But Wesley was pounced on by Holt, who had many issues with him so far. Sumeragi paired off against Pembrokshire and K-Rawk, until Ferguson got back in action and fought against Rawk.

REJECT
The rock versus the goof.

Wesley returned to the affair and tried a series of school boys on his foes but never got a three count. So he oddly decided to get a chair to make things easier. But Holt tackled him and the two resumed their brawl. Jesse seemed like he might when he superplexed Sumeragi, but Pembrokshire press slammed him into a powerslam. The six men continued their hellish battle until Sumeragi downed Rawk with a top rope lariat!

Winner: Sumeragi, via pinfall

MATTHEWS
Congratulations to Sumeragi!

REJECT
Get ready, kid, you've been singled out.
 

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***Chad Mustard Vs Storm Bellmare W/Eponine Black and Isabella Spezia-Vilagrossa***

TMW Commissioner Lisa Ann was on hand to make sure Chad went through with this match, and like everyone else was shocked to see Chad wearing latex gloves.

REJECT
When you're scared of your opponent, you already lost. Chad needs to man up right now.

Storm was of course offended by the gloves and started putting Chad into finger based submission holds! This entertained the crowd, but certainly not Chad who had to use a foot stomp to orchestrate his escape. Storm stayed on him, however, and Chad made a quick escape out the ring.

“BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!”

ISABELLA
Boooooooo, the bad man is running away! Booooooo!

EPONINE
Not in my ear! 

CHAD
Whoa, whoa! I am not running away for the record, I am stepping away. That's done gracefully and with tact.

ISABELLA
Oh I see. Thank you for clearing that up!

LISA ANN
Get back in the ring, Chad!

Chad had no choice but to follow the boss and got hit with a pair of frankensteiners, then cursed with a running leg drop from Storm. That led to a two count and Chad rolled into the corner. There he got hit with hard right hands from Storm, followed by a victory roll for two! Then Chad was sent back into the corner for more suffering.

REJECT
Whatever gameplan Chad has he better pick it up.

MATTHEWS
Does he have a game plan?

Storm came in for a corner lariat, but Chad hit a dropkick to stun him and shock the crowd. After taking a moment to regain his strength, Chad pulled up Storm and hit him with a pair of body slams. He thought of hitting a submission, but that would be too much touching so instead he stomped away at his foe and worked him over with kicks and elbow drops, not to mention bashing his cute face into the ring posts.

“LET'S GO STORM! LET'S GO STORM! LET'S GO STORM!”

CHAD
Good idea, go someplace far away, where dudes like porking ex-chicks and you can be happy and I be away from you.

Storm didn't appreciate that comment and got up to bash his foe with knife edge chops. Chad responded to this attack with a double arm DDT! But, shockingly, Storm popped up and hit a double arm DDT of his own!

EPONINE
Ohhhhh, a sensual Storm blows in! But who is he blowing on? Hhehehhehe!

STORM
Eponine, please stop.

Storm ignored Eponine for the moment and battered Chad with forearms as he pulled him up. The College Park native, Chad, responded with punches and then flung his foe over with a snap suplex, followed with a cover for two...

EPONINE
Look at that! Sweaty bodies colliding to determine who is the alpha male, who is the Channing Tatum of our Magic Mike XL!

Now Chad had to ignore Eponine as he whipped Storm into the ropes. The Berkley native floated over Chad and pulled him down with a back slide that got two. Chad jumped up and through out a kick, but had it caught and had his legged slammed down. From there Storm pounced on him and hit a leg trap sunset flip powerbomb!

MATTHEWS
Storm's End!

And that got the win for Storm!

Winner: Storm Bellmare, via pinfall


Terry Taylor was backstage with TV Champion Painbow and Kiki Kix, ahead of PB's big HARD title match with Tristian Nystrom.

PAINBOW
Tristian! I ain't gonna let you hoe me on live OAOAST Network TV! I will tear you apart with the quickness! This isn't just the HARD title on the line. This is pride we're talking about. You get me?

TAYLOR
And what does that mean to you?

PAINBOW
It means I'll punch the shit out of him! Twenty years later there will be a 30 for 30 about how I beat the hell out of this prissy vampire bitch! Remember that even if you BURN IN HELL!
 

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***Adelphe St.Nerdregard Vs Ruby***

Powered by her ATOMIC IMPLANTS, Adelphe stood chest to chest with Ruby, while PETE-O acted as ring side photographer.

REJECT
Who the hell let him into the building?

Ruby muttered a few words that turned out to be a spell, and suddenly big breasts weren't enough for Adelphe to survive! She clutched her ringing noggin, and was soon sucked into a side headlock from her foe. Ruby worked over the move, as the fans rooted on her foe. Adelphe did manage to escape and proceeded to knock over Ruby with not one but two diving lariats!

ADELPHE
I see my aura ungunking didn't take just yet. Its a lot like constipation, it takes a lot of spirtual exlax.

RUBY
Heh, its not going to work and you're going to wind up just as corrupt as me. Corrupt and a bad girl. Heh!

Ruby jumped up and cast another spell on Adelphe that had her rubbing DA IMPLANTZ which Pete didn't even get a pic because he was busy chatting up a 15 year old girl in the front row.

REJECT
Pete, pay attention to the good stuff, you jabronie!

Ruby fired off a procession of chops to the big chest of her foe, then grounded her with a body slam into a body lock. Adelphe would fight upright, but Ruby managed to fling her back down single leg take down, then worked over a leg lock.

MATTHEWS
For all her weirdness and darkness, Ruby can work a submission hold.

REJECT
Crystal was telling me in a meeting how Ruby constantly picks her brains for submissions to use. Sometimes she asks, sometimes she just picks her brain with a spell.

Adelphe popped the crowd by fighting out the attack then jumped up to slug Ruby in the jaw. The evil witch came back with a punch of her own and then trapped her cute foe in an abdominal stretch. Thanks to the fans cheering, Adelphe was able to flip Ruby off her and continue the good fight. She unleashed a torrent of strikes on Ruby then hit her hard with a springboard lariat!

“YYYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAA!”

Ruby managed to duck Adelphe's Luminary Uppercut, but she put herself off balance and wound up getting school girled to take the loss!

Winner: Adelphe St.Nerdregard, via pinfall

Post-match Adelphe celebrated, but was suddenly attacked from behind by BLANCHEFLEUR! The African American witch laid into Adelphe with stomps till she pushed out the ring. Then Blanchefleur raised Ruby's hand to the jeering fans.

RUBY
A disciple, heh. How wonderful!
 

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*** TMW Tag Team Title: The Union Jets vs. Same Ol' Shits © ***

After dominating the tag scene in Japan for OAOAST sister promotion SMUSH (formerly BUSTLE; co-owner lost trademark in nasty split from hubby but kept control of company as roster pledged loyalty to her), C-4 and Tom Smith jetted off to TMW following an impressive showing in the 2016 Anderson Cup. And just as they had done in the Far East, the British gents quickly rose up the tag ranks to earn themselves a title shot, winning the TMW Tag Team Championship in their first attempt following a running powerslam/Concussion grenade swan dive headbutt combo. 

The now former champs were about to hit their Same Ol' Finisher when Tom Smith tackled C-4 during the double arm wrench portion of Wakefield and Horse's move, causing the two to collide. The Union Jets eliminated Wakefield and then put Horse down for the 1-2-3.

Winners: The Union Jets, via pinfall. New champions!

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***TMW Hottie's Championship: Glass Juliet (c) W/Effie Reese Vs Amber O'Shea***
In the stands stood a stoic masked woman with arms folded.

REJECT
Do you know who that is, Matthews? That's The Masked ASSassin! Mind your P's and Q's, although that won't help you if she takes a contract on you. Word is she kills with her ass!

Glass started wailing on Amber right away, giving her the aforementioned fistful. But Amber called on the power of her wedigetastic slutty tights and butt bumped Glass into the corner. From there she flung her out, then slammed a dropkick into her back. Glass sagged over and was trapped into a side headlock early on.

REJECT
This is all about Amber saying she can take control whenever she wants.

Glass kipped up out of the hold, giving a huuuuggge shake of her boobies. Less pleasing for Glass and Effie was the punch Amber rifled into her jaw. Glass was sent into the ropes, but Effie hooked onto the ropes to prevent her from bouncing back.

EFFIE
Love, love!

Amber came charging in, but was beaten back by a raised elbow then forced to endure a standing body lock of hot sexy sweatiness. The sticky sweet attack was ended as Amber fought out of the hold then showcased some power by countering with a Samoan drop!

MATTHEWS
Great defense by Amber!

“AMBER! AMBER! AMBER!” the audience rooted on the challenger.

Amber pumped herself up and went off the ropes to drill Glass with not one but two lariats. That led to a two count, and Amber then signaled for a diamond cutter like Colin. But Glass was able to escape the attack thanks to Effie pulling her out of the ring. But both vampires were brought down with a plancha from Amber!

“YYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Amber rolled Glass back into the ring and loaded up her Wolftrap lariat. But when she threw it, Glass ducked bellow and pulled her down with a back slide! This only got a two count, and Amber jumped up to throw the lariat a second time. It missed and again Glass pulled her down with another backslide, this one getting the victory!

Winner: Glass Juliet, via pinfall

Post-match, Amber sat on her knees dejected even though she got a standing ovation from the fans, What was worse for Amber was that Glass procured a microphone.

GLASS JULIET
More! More! I need even better despair inducing despair from you, Amber O'Shea! More! More! More! You can come back and lose to me anytime you want. Uppuupppuppuuu! It will all be so magnificent! 

EFFIE REESE
Now, now, Juliet, we should be nice vampires. Let's let a young mother enjoy the comfort of her friends and family.

GLASS JULIET
Oh no! This is a story that ends in despair. I can't wait! Upppupppuuuuuuu!
 

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***TMW HARD Championship: Tristian Nystrom Vs Painbow***
Painbow had a series of right hand to start the match, beating Tristian back into the ropes. But the world champion responded by cutting down his foe with a lariat! That caused the challenger to follow Kikis advice and use a lockup to slow things down considerably.

REJECT
You want to talk about, making an impact how about being a double champ in TMW. That's what Painbow can do tonight.

Tristian was pushed into the ropes and then hit with a side slam followed by a wave of stomps from, the challenger. The fans derided the rainbow haired grappler, which roused his anger

PAINBOW
Shut yo mouths!

That distraction got Tristian what he needed to get back into the match and lariated his foe over the ropes. The. Tristian wowed the fans with a suicide dive! Painbow laid out in agony as Kiki shouted instructions at him. Regardless he wounded up getting a vertical suplex onto the steel ramp!

MATTHEWS
That was nasty!

The challenger was rolled into the ring and pinned but kicked out at two.

REJECT
Painbow is on a war path, he won't loose that quickly.

Painbow caught onto Tristian and trapped him an arm bar. That hold did not get a submission as Tristian hip tossed his foe off him.  But the challenger then dragged Tristian down with a heel hook, forcing him to scramble to the ropes.

MATTHEWS
We've never seen a vampire submit, and I don't think we will now.

REJECT
Painbow is stubborn though, he could keep going to the well.

Indeed he did as he trapped his foe inside another heel hook. This time Tristian used his free foot to kick his way out the hold. He then brought himself upright and slammed a knee into Painbow's sternum, then hit him with a tiger suplex for a two count. Painbow would roll to his feet, but got rammed into the corner, then lifted onto the top rope and struck with an avalanche arm drag!

“OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!”

MATTHEWS
Did you see how far Tristian threw Painbow?! 

Painbow needed time to recover, but when he did he was rocked with a forearm from Tristian and then hit with a bridging German! The fans wanted to see the end, but Painbow managed to kickout before the three!

“THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!”

Painbow was whipped into the corner, and had his face slashed with a lethal yakuza kick. But the fought off a suplex attempt and hit a spine buster against the ring posts! The crowd marveled at the lethality of the attack and were even more shocked to see Painbow do it again. The big man wanted a third time, but he was halted by FABIAN NYSTROM'S arrival!

MATTHEWS
No matter their differences the Nystrom brother's are sticking together!

Kiki Kix got on the ring apron to berate the official, distracting him from getting Fabian out of the ring. The elder Nystrom tossed the title challenger to the side, and helped his brother to his feet.

And hit him with a pop up German suplex!

“BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

MATTHEWS
Carpe That Fucking Diem!

Painbow pounced on Tristian's battered body and hit him with a single arm dead lift powerbomb to finish him off!

Winner: Painbow, via pinfall. New champion!

MATTHEWS
Painbow is your new HARD champion!

REJECT
And your TV Title Champion!

Painbow pumped his fist into the air and took to the top rope with both his titles as we....

FADE OUT
 

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