Chanel #99 Posted June 13, 2016 Report Share Posted June 13, 2016 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD AND 3D RENEE Its a hot hot summer HeldDOWN~! and I am Renee Young with Da Coach and together with Tony Brannigan on the interview stage wehave all the action ready for you Atop the interview stage stands OAOAST Hall of Famer and legend, Tony Brannigan. BRANNIGAN Ladies and gentlemen please welcome, the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...TYLER BRYANT! GIVE IT TO....GIVE IT TO ME! “BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” As “Rising Up” rocks out, Tyler saunters out in red and white stripped polo and torn jeans with a yellow gowned Lorelei at his side. TYLER I can not give you any empathy. BRANNIGAN I didn't ask for any! LORELEI Why are you getting so defensive all of a sudden? BRANNIGAN Your man is making accusations on me. TYLER You're always dying to interview me, Tony. And I always wondered why. But now the world champion has it all figured out. Its because you want me to feel bad for you. You want me to welcome you to my club. The greatness club. But its not going to happen. LORELEI No it will not. You've got to go at some point, Brannigan, and your name will die out eventually. While the legend of Tyler Bryant will grow bigger and more fantastic every year until he is venerated with the greats of sports and entertainment. BRANNIGAN It sounds to me like you're speaking of your Great Angle Bash opponent, Alix Maria Spezia. TYLER Alix? Alix? I heard all she had to say last week. I get how angry she is. I would be angry too. But, Alix, you can not fuck with The Serial Thriller's legacy. I will beat you at Great Angle Bash, cleanly, decisively, perfectly , because I'm the only one who can. “BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” TYLER After I beat Alix I don't know what else is left for me. After her, who can you say is a threat to me the Serial Thriller?! You know I'm bringing bombastic I'm feeling fucking fantastic Turn up the music yeah blast it You know I'm playing like, no more Mr. Nice GuyYou know I'm bringing bombastic I'm feeling fucking fantastic Turn up the music yeah blast it You know I'm playing like, no more Mr. Nice Guy I'm coming for you The fans delight in the playing of “Bombastic” and its bringing out the much loved duo of a ball gowned Queen Esther and and eighties rapper attired Alix Maria Spezia. QUEEN ESTHER Tyler Bryant! Peasant! The prophet enters! Beware! LORELEI Are you crazy? Or is there an actual prophet? The return of Abdullah Nerdly? QUEEN ESTHER Silence yourself, dog! LORELEI ALIX As-Salamu Alaykum Wa alaikum as salaam. Whatever your religion, kiss the ring on the Don. Real nigga, street certified, hit the streets whip cost 335. TYLER What are you saying to me? ALIX I told you to kiss the ring on the Don, Ty-Ty. TYLER I'm not kissing any ring. ALIX Then you can kiss my ass, bitch nigga! QUEEN ESTHER Shocking that his perversion can not be tamed! ALIX I'm a field nigga, you a house nigga. I'm a real nigga and you's a mouse nigga! “YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” TYLER No, no, I am The Serial Thriller, I own the house, I own the field, I am the real one standing here because I am The Serial Thriller! The world heavyweight champion! LORELEI Tyler, there's no need for this. She's trying to draw us into a fight. Let's go. ALIX On the bible you Qu'Ran but you can't hide! TYLER Who's running? Who's running? ALIX Oh ho ho! You're running like you ran from your STD test! But just like herpes I won't disappear! Ah, yessssss, your groupie action is limited to Herpes-date.com, but you're too broke to pay the 15 bucks a month subscription fee. So, ho, ho, tell me how much dollaz and how many chicks you're gonna get when I drop the ether bomb on you at Great Angle Bash? A huuuuuge stinking zero! Your dumb ass gave up the US title, and now I'm about to run your pockets of the world title. And soon, there's gonna be an angry, drunk, woman with flowing locks of golden hair to give you a pair of garden shears to the bowels! Insha Allah! “YYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Lorelei ushers Tyler back, but the champion makes sure to raise his world title for Alix to see as they leave. Alix is nonplussed and starts a chicken dance to show what she thinks of Tyler. *** Pete-O w/ Rico de Janeiro & Remy Brazil vs. Oscar Friberg *** Showcase for Team SCREAM's Oscar who picked up the W following the Birdcall. Winner: Oscar Friberg, via pinfall. Post-match the former U.S. Champion let it be known he wants payback against Vainglorious Bastards USA's A$AP Blondie and Alexander The Magnificent. COMMERCIAL Terry Taylor was backstage at the interview set with 24/7 Champion Outlaw Cello for a short interview. Taylor tried to get Cello to put over TurboWolf's toughness but that wasn't happening. CELLO I ain't giving this were-kitty no credit for failing to win a fight. I've lost my share of fights, but I never failed to finish a damn fight. I'm still standing, and he's still making his intentions known. I'll make this known- POW! Cello was slammed into a monitor by the arriving TurboWolf, who left him bleeding from a gash on the side of the head. TURBOWOLF We're gonna do this the old fashioned way. In the ring, man to man, and I am gonna finish our fight. Bitch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2016 Inside the Kingdom castle, in the very pits of the building, we find Ramsa...I mean Ser AC The Exile hehehhehhe overseeing mass production of banners. Not flayed man banners either, because that would just be copyright infringement hehehhe. SER AC There you go, dig those needles in, dig them in the way I might dig them into your eyes if you don't finish my banners on time. KING LANDON (OS) Ser Alearys. SER AC My king! King Landon walks into the room with all the gait and pomp of true royalty. Why he's even wearing a robe and carrying his royal scepter. KING LANDON Ser AC, I congratulate you too late. Good job, good job, oh yes good job with Bohemoth! SER AC My king, you are too kind. KING LANDON And you are too good! SPLAT went Bohemoth, I've been waiting to see that for a long time. Yes, a long time. Long has he been my enemy. Not anymore! Gone! He's finally gone. Oh yes, yes indeed. I am delighted to be rid of him. SER AC All I do is for the Kingdom. KING LANDON What do you have the maids working on today? SER AC A new sigil for myself. I hope you don't mind. KING LANDON (looking at a finished banner) Ahhhhhhhhh, yes, yes. A buried man next to a shovel. SER AC I did bury Bohemoth, wouldn't you say, sire? KING LANDON Yes I would! Fantastically, young man, fantastically! I just hope you'll continue to employ your unique skills in the wars to come. SER AC You can count on it, my king. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2016 OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~! SCHOOL'S OUT Hood Again defeat The Playmakers; will receive tag title match vs. Big IQ at the Great Angle Bash. Back LIVE!, OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood is with the champions and challengers at the world famous backstage interview lounge. There's mutual respect but Uncle Moe reminds everybody that his nephews have betted on themselves twice (accepting The Challenge, featuring a win over Big IQ during the Iron Man tag tournament that Uncle Moe is sure to mention & putting the title shot Big IQ promised on the line at School's Out) and won each time. MOSES When the stakes are high we part fear like the Red Sea! Big IQ put over their resiliency. When hit with adversity they've bounced back every team. They also remind Hood Again that their lost during The Challenge came at the very last second and that it won't come down to the wire at the Great Angle Bash. MOSES Champs feelin' cocky! CW Confident. ICE QUIZ 'Cause we ain't gotta beat you, you gotta beat us! Hood Again can respect that. We get some dap to close the interview. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2016 *** Keyboard Warriors (Jizz_Whiz & WNBNay) vs. The Party Brigade w/ Amberlyn Duncan *** Two-third's of the OAOAST 6-man tag champs were in action as The Party Brigade took on the anonymous Keyboard Warriors. During the match, as TPB found themselves under fire, Joey The Rat approached Amberlyn and whispered something into her ear. JOEY Amberlyn reacts to whatever was said by SLAPPING the yellow off Joey's teeth! COACH AAH! Irate, Joey laid into Amberlyn verbally saying "You'll regret this!" Instead it was Joey who was left regretting this convo as the other third of the 6-man champions, DAISUKE MOTOZAKI, surprised The Rat with a high impact forearm smash. RENEE Maybe this will teach Joey to start minding his own business! With Dice-M watching on from ringside TPB regained control of the bout and picked up the W after J.Riggs speared WNBNay. Winners: The Party Brigade, via pinfall. After the match VICE rushed ringside, shoving Dice-M into the steel steps and attacking TPB. *** DINGDINGDING *** This brought out the 3 AMIGOS who returned the champs aid from last week. Inside the hard rocking, partying interview lounge Sara Jean Underwood stands with none other than Gretchen Wright! SARA JEAN Hey, everybody, Sara Jean here with Delta House president and OAOAST Women's Champ....Gretchen Wright! Congrats on being the brand new Delta House president. GRETCHEN Yes, thank you! Sara Jean you are the mark of courtesy and kindness. Unlike Judge Dudd. SARA JEAN Judge Dudd is a piece of work, I read an interview with her on OAOAST.com and she continued to blast your family for ruining America. GRETCHEN You read! Astounding! I was unaware the lowborn did such things. Good for you! SARA JEAN ….......... GRETCHEN Judge Dudd's words, when the country is more divided than ever are beyond shameful! She is a vain, inexcusable woman who is proud beyond her station. And her station, Sara Jean, is no greater than one who cleans the horse dung after a Thanksgiving parade. SARA JEAN Get em, girl. GRETCHEN I have gotten her, Sara Jean. At School's Out. I should not have thought it necessary to get her again, yet she has issued cruel words to Delta Delta Delta. I can not let this stand. I will not let this stand. I will brandish my parasol and strike her back to the slum, the hovel, the very dumpster her parents disposed of her in when she was a babe, and she shall learn that while Delta ladies do not start fights, we certainly finish them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2016 nside the ring stands all of Pretty Young Money along with a giant cake. And I do mean giant! Giant and yellow with red icing ribbons and pink icing flower “FUCK YOU, MELISSA! FUCK YOU, MELISSA! FUCK YOU, MELISSA!” MELISSA A lot of ya'll look like ya done a few drugs in your life I ain't gonna lie. So what I'm gonna do for ya'll is I'm gonna speak real slow and clear so ya'll can understand me with all the brain cells ya burned. “BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” MELISSA I done took a lie detector test and paid for out of my own pocket, because Sophie don't want the truth to come out. I asked myself, Melissa is The Doll just the finest gal you done ever met in your life, and I answered myself a big fat yes! And ya know what the lie detector test came back saying? It came back saying I told the truth! Someone tell Steve Wilkos! RENEE You can't administer your own lie detector test. PHECDA The Doll is honored tonight. AL HOUD We are honored to honor her. PHECDA Saving Melissa she has. AL HOUD Putting all glory to Pretty Young Money. PHECDA A selfless heroine she is. RENEE I don't think she's that alturisitc. MELISSA Now ya'll are gonna know we ain't lying! The Doll is one hundred percent cherry pie sweet and kind, and if it weren't for her...its so disgusting I can't say it....I can't say it....them heathens....them SATANISTS Bobbi and December would still hold my tag team gold! “ASS WRECKING CREW! ASS WRECKING CREW! ASS WRECKING CREW!” MELISSA Boy howdy I wish a crew would wreck this arena with all ya'll in it! “FUCK YOU, MELISSA! FUCK YOU, MELISSA! FUCK YOU, MELISSA!” MELISSA But, ya'll ain't gonna ruin my mood no more. I'm one hundred percent focused on celebrating the greatness of The Doll. Let's bring her out! Don't you know she walks over you? You're powerless, there's nothing you can do And everybody sees she's using you She knows a boy in deep is a boy to keepThat girl is like a taser, her power is true You're paralyzed when she walks in the room She knows a boy in deep is a boy to keep Catey Shaw's "Walks Over You" hits and no one is all that happy to see The Doll arrive, but there are some cheers for Tanner Neptune who with her. The Doll wears a cut off shirt of her man and capri pants, whereas Tanner wears a rolled up sleeve dress shirt and khaki shorts. The duo reach the ring with Tanner looking stern faced, TANNER Melissa, enough is enough- MELISSA Yer right, Tanner. Enough is enough. Doll, I know plenty of single men. Good Christian souls, who wouldn't allow themselves to be violated in the...in the...in the butt! TANNER THE DOLL Thank you for thinking of me. But he is my Tan-Tan. PHECDA Match making is not for today. AL HOUD For today is for The Doll and all her grandeur/ MELISSA Ya'll two are right. Absolutely! I was getting side tracked by the demonic mind. Anastasia, why don't ya go on and tell us your favorite memory of The Doll. ANASTSIA What? MELISSA Go on, yer favorite memory of The Doll. Don't be shy now. ANASTASIA Uh....one time in a production meeting....uh...she sat next to me and....smiled? MELISSA A smile that would make Jesus on the cross fill with joy! That's what we celebrate tonight! THE DOLL TANNER You're just taking advantage of my girlfriend so she'll keep doing your dirty work. THE DOLL Tanner, do not ruin this for me. MELISSA He ain't gonna ruin nothing with his jealousy and his shame. Sugar, what's your favorite memory about our friend The Doll? SUGAR I ain't got none! MELISSA (nervous) Hehheh, now's no time for funny tricks, darling. Say what you love best about The Doll. SUGAR Why she's so bigger than me? Why's she dating the kid with the funny hair and I ain't? TANNER You're awfully close. SUGAR Huh....! You pervert! Why's everyone so tall? MELISSA That ain't what we're discussing today. But, ya gotta keep drinking milk, darling SUGAR Milk!? That's an old wives' tale! It don't work and you know it! PHECDA Far removed from our purpose we are. AL HOUD Yes. Let us feast on the cake we have for you, Doll. PHECDA A treat well deserved by you. AL HOUD Magnificence in cake form. SUGAR I want the biggest slice! And I want mine first! BOOOM! THE CAKE EXPLODES! EXPLODES TO REVEAL BOBBI CHEESECAKE AND DECEMBER BELLE! “YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” DECEMBER Surprise. MELISSA What are ya'll doing? DECEMBER Oh...I don't know. That's a very good question. ANASTASIA You don't know why you're inside a cake? BOBBI We're outside the cake now, and its wrecking ass time! Tanner hurries The Doll out of the ring and Phecda and Al Houd do the same for Melissa. Sugar would like someone to help her, so her cousin lends a hand and pitches her over the ropes! “YYYYYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAA!” Poor Anastasia is left to get ping-ponged between elbow strikes from the Sunrays until Bobbi finishes her off with a fall away samoan drop into cake! “YYYYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE 50 Shades of Purple into the cake! The fans are full of glee as Bobbi goes to the top rope and offers threats of violence to the retreating heels. DECEMBER Awww the cake is wasted. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2016 ***Ned Blanchard Vs Ser Felix Strutter*** RENEE Look at the look of anger on Ned's face. COACH Its angrier than usual after what happened at School's Out. An early problem arose as Felix wanted to lockup and Blanchard was itching for a fight. The Orange County Cobra solved this by punching Felix in the face, backing him into the corner and stomping a mud hole in him! “YYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Strutter stood up and got tossed across the ring with a hip toss, then ran through with a pair of lariats! BLANCHARD This is you, FLEX PHILLIPS! YOU! COACH Oh shit, he used his government name. RENEE I dunno if I wanna believed his parents named him Flex though. Strutter rolled out of the ring to recoup and instead got beat on further by Blanchard with the fans rooting him on. Inside the ring, Sturtter was as listless as he was before and soon was put down with California Venom (sleeper suplex) Winner: Ned Blanchard, via pinfall Post-match Ned got on the mic to the delight of the crowd. BLANCHARD FLEX PHILLIPS, ya jacked up bastard, I remember when you were in NRG hawking Mid Level Marketing drinks. Now you wanna play Celebrity Hair Stylist on my kid's mom? Now you wanna play supreme nut hugger to Tyler Bryant? Now you wanna stick your ass in my world title match? Nuh-uh! You get your overgrown ass out here, because I got a Newport Harbor Enziguri with your name on it! “YYYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” But there was no arrival from THE FLEX, which left Blanchard infuriated. But not out of options. Instead he decided to trek up the entrance ramp to head backstage and find THE FLEX. But as soon he reached the stage, the entrance doors allowed THE FLEX out, who decked Ned with his MITB breifcase! “OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Got him dead center with that briefcase. Showing no love for Blanchard or the condition of his breifcase, THE FLEX hit a powerbomb onto it! “OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” After that, Lorelei emerged to congragulate THE FLEX and even taunt Ned! LORELEI Ned, Ned, you never were a smart one. But, for your sake, I hope you listen to your aching bones. Don't pursue this feud. Lorelei kissed FLEX on the pec's, which did not endear him to the sold out audience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2016 Backstage there's a break in planning of stealing Elysium back, and in this break Angel approaches a coffee drinking Teddy Buckworth. ANGEL So what's the deal? BUCKWORTH The deal? ANGEL Why does Caeldori Fox want to stab you? BUCKWORTH It is deeply personal. ANGEL But, yet you want to involve myself in helping to find Silver's sword, and my son to retrieve it. It would be nice to know why you're in such trouble. BUCKWORTH Inquisitiveness is not a trait inherited by Colin, I see. I find it difficult to talk about, but it is a tale any soul could relate to. Shameful as it may be. My first major real estate acquisition upon earning an OAOAST contract, was the house of a true friend to the Moneymaker family. The Fox grounds. ANGEL You seem like a likable guy, I'm sure you had the best intentions at heart. BUCKWORTH The man I am today is not the man I was yesterday. It was a long process to center myself into a sort of an inner peace. Sadly, Caeldori has not found such peace, not after I disregarded her family's friendship so cruelly, so callously when I signed my OAOAST contract. All because I felt them beneath me with their financial troubles, beneath a soon to be famous OAOAST Superstar. I used to babysit that girl, and out I cast her and her ilk. Evicted them with only the standard thirty days notice. The Fox family never recovered their wealth, or their health. Jay Fox, her father, died of suicide mere months later. I was a fool then, and I remain a fool today. Albeit a far kinder one. Teddy gives Angel a sad smile and walks off with Angel having much to think about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2016 ***Mathis Golden Vs Blaine Cayley W/Sammi Cayley*** Blaine tried to take the fight early to Golden, but was promptly shoved away by the biggest man in the OAOAST. That didn't dissuade Blaine who came back for more and was shoved through the ropes! GOLDEN No bitch is going through me! BLAINE Are there bitches hereabouts? And me without any condoms. Let's proceed as planned. Blaine flew back into the ring with a springboard forearm that only wobbled Golden. Matty Gold dared Blaine to bring it so Blaine brought it with a spingboard dropkick that dropped his large foe to his knee. Then Blaine hit a short DDT, followed by an elbow drop for a two count. BLAINE You're a tough idiot then. GOLDEN Don't call me idiot! BLAINE If I'm a bitch then what do you care what I call you? Golden had no answer for that so instead through a lariat that got ducked. Blaine went behind his foe and proceeded to bash him with shots to legs that seemed to cripple him. But Golden lashed out with a three point shoulder tackle! RENEE Praying Mathis! GOLDEN I'll rip your nuts off and feed them to your sister! SAMMI Like hell you will! Sammi actually slid into the ring and was all ready to attack Golden, but refere Nunzio held her back.In the mean time, Golden choked his foe with his boot then his huge fist. COACH A lot of good Sammi just did. RENEE She only wants to protect her twin brother. Blaine was tossed into the corner and hammered with a Gold Rush, a spear to his trapped body. Then he was placed onto the top turnbuckle and hit with a superplex followed by more choking! RENEE Looks like Golden is making up for last week. COACH A little too late! Xavier almost got stomped in the balls! Blaine kicked out a pinfall and was rallied on by Sammi and the fans. It seemed to work as he escaped a press slam attempt and avoided a big boot. Golden was able to capture him with a front facelock, but Blaine was able to use knees to the head to escape once lifted. He then grabbed hold of his foe's huge legs and tripped him into a Liontamer. Golden tried to hold out but in the end had to submit. Winner: Blaine Cayley, via submission Blaine was about to leave the ring, but had second thoughts. He grinned a devilish sort of smile then stomped Golden right on the testicles! BLAINE You won't be reaping the benefits of free anal day for a while. FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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