Chanel #99 Posted March 11, 2013 Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 It's CHAOS backstage as we fade in this week. The picture sways and bounces as it follows a pair of officials as they rush to the source of the commotion in the hallway. The cameraman manages to push his way through the crowd to reveal a tall, muscular person lying flat on his face, unconscious. The medics carefully roll him onto his back. It's James Wolfenstein, blood trickling down his face. A medic shines a penlight into his eyes and another tries to get James to talk to him when Anglesault arrives on the scene. ANGLESALUT What happened? OFFICIAL Someone heard a noise over here and found him facedown on the floor. Nobody saw what happened. ANGLESAULT Typical. Dammit, he's in my main event tonight! How is he? MEDIC Let me get him some medical attention and I'll tell you. ANGLESAULT Ok. (To crowd) Give em' room! A pair of officials help place Wolfenstein on a stretcher which heads to the trainer's room. Anglesault mulls it over and grabs the official he just spoke to. 'SAULT Where's James Riggs? Is he here yet? OFFICIAL I don't know. I don't think I saw him in the building. ANGLESAULT (to group) The first person that sees James Riggs, tell him that I want to see him in my office. IMMEDIATELY!! 'Sault storms out of frame as the picture fades to the opening package.BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!B-O-O-M~! The smoke clears as 17,000 rowdy Texans hoot and holler, waving their signs for the camera. The graphic "LIVE! Houston, Texas" appears on the top left corner of the screen as the spotlights sweep the crowd. COLE This is HeldDOWN!! Good evening everyone, Michael Cole and the Coach here with you once again at ringside. What a dispicable and horrible sight we just saw backstage, Coach. COACH I know, someone screwed with the chicken in that preshow buffet. Hope the janitors' plungers are ready. COLE As we just saw, James Wolfenstein has been brutally attacked backstage by an unknown assailant. But it doesn't take a genius to figure out the most likely suspect. COACH Please. James Riggs hasn't been seen in the building all day, Cole. He and Staci had some personal appearance at Jimmy Bob's Bronco BBQ restaurant to attend to first. Mmmm...Staci riding a mechanical bull. COLE Folks, our main event tonight is scheduled to be Riggs and Wolfenstein one-on-one in the ring tonight, but that is definitely up in the air at this point. We certainly will try to update you on Wolfenstein's condition as soon as possible. The show must go on, however, so coming up tonight: the in-ring debut of the newest Lightning Crew member, The Bone Thug! Ashley Street prepares for Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez at AngleMania VI by taking on Serena Blackmore! That and more coming up, so let's take it to the ring and Michael Buffer to kick things off! The unsual wrestler/entrance music pairing of Fall Out Boy's Thriller plays through the loud speaker, signfying the arrival of The Lonestar Gunslingers. Yes, Cowboys are coming out to Fall Out Boy. Blame Melody. COLE We know whose music that belongs to, the home state heroes...Baron Windels and the "Texas Twister" Jock Mulligan, The Lone Star Gunslingers! COACH Let's not forget the only redeeming quality of that team, Melody Nerdly -- and I speak of her body and not her mind -- the Gunslingers new manager. COLE What a pair... COACH You can say that again. COLE Grow up, Coach. I'm talking about what a pair Melody and the Gunslingers make. I predict big things for... Cole stops in mid-sentence as he notices the Gunslingers have yet to arrive onstage. COLE Did they miss their cue or what? COACH Michael Cole speaking with our director over the headset. Obviously the Gunslingers have been delayed. They're set to face... And again the pumping anthem of Thriller rocks the arena. COACH Here we go! The Gunslingers music is re-started, but they fail to appear again. Our questions are soon answered as we cut backstage and see THE SOONER BRUISERS, in street clothes, manhandling Jock and Baron inside a dressing room, persumably Melody's since the women dress separately from the men (don't want any sex scandels now). COLE We need security back there now! Security! With total disregard for the human body Big Frank sends Jock face-first into the giant mirror, slicing him open, then loosens a LIGHT BULB overhead and shatters it over Mulligan's skull, leaving him in a pool of his own blood! Bound and gagged in the shower, mascara running down her face, Melody can only watch as Uber tries to DROWN Baron in the TOILET! COACH I don't know about you, but something tells me the Sooner Bruisers are sending a message to their opponents in the Sin City Street Fight at AngleMania VI. COLE I've said it before and I'll say it again, these guys are nothing more than a couple of bullies. They have all the talent in the world and this is how to choose to use it. I ask again, WHERE THE HELL IS SECURITY, DAMNIT!?!? The Bruisers drag Baron outside the dressing room and pumpel him all the way to the ring, sending him shoulder-first into the steel steps befoe tossing him inside. Irish whip, and Big Frank levels Windels with an extra stiff Soonerline. He flexes the bicep and gives it some love before dropping the elbow across the sternum, then goes the pin, only to roll off so he can do a set of push-ups. COLE The arrogance of that man. It'll be a completely difference story come April 1st at AngleMania. They won't be able to ambush the Heavenly Rockers the same way they did the Lone Star Gunslingers. And in case you're wondering why the referee is allowing this match to continue, I was told by our director that Melody agreed to book her team in a street fight against the Sooner Bruisers, which is why nobody came to their aid backstage. COACH Then Big Frank and Uber are only playing by the rules. It's not their fault Melody is in way over her head thinking she can be a manager. She should've known better than to book the Gunslingers in a match like this. I wouldn't want to face the Sooner Bruisers in any match, let alone a street fight! Uber is tagged in and he immediately stomps away on Baron. Windels sent hard into the corner, but he's able to step aside as Uber charges in and misses the clothesline. Then he hits the ropes and connects with a big-time Texas lariat! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Woozy, Baron looks to tag but nobody's home. As he cries for his partner a tag is made on the other end, and Windels allows himself to get suplexed on his head HALF-NELSON style! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Oh, what heart-- what heart being shown by this kid from Texas! Nobody would begrudge him if he decided to pack it up and live to fight another day, but he's gonna try to tough it out like a real man. Everyone's attention turns to the entranceway as JOCK MULLIGAN takes his rightful place in the corner. Bloody and beaten, he shouts encouragement to Baron, who struggles to escape a full nelson. "LET'S GO BARON!" clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* "LET'S GO BARON!" clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* "LET'S GO BARON!" clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* That gets the old adreaneline pumping, helping Baron rise to his feet before he falls on the seat of his pants and hooks his legs under Big Frank's arm, flipping him over in a pinning combination! ONE... TWO... THREE-- KICKOUT! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Jock stands ready for the tag, but Baron is so out of it he doesn't see his partner in the corner. Uber doesn't realize that however, and he helps the duo make the tag by clotheslining Windels with such force it staggers him over to Jock...and the HOT TAG! COLE There's the tag! COACH But how much does Jock really have left in him? The guy is bleeding buckets. Swing and a miss, and Uber delivers a nasty BACKDROP DRIVER on the Twister Twister! Meanwhile, Frank brings in a TABLE and sets it up in the center of the ring. They rid the squared circle of Baron and treat Jock to an ELECTRIC CHAIR BULLDOG THROUGH THE TABLE!!! ONE... TWO... THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match...BIG FRANK and UBER BRUISER, THE SOONER BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUISERS!! COLE Enjoy it while you can, Bruisers. It'll be different at AngleMania. At least I sure hope so. They looked indestructible. Backstage we swoop and we join in progress what seems to be a heated 'discussion' between Megan Skye and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, the SWF's Power Couple walking through the hallways of the arena, to where who knows? MADDIX ...I'm not denying that, I'm just saying it was a selfish thing to do, that's all. MEGAN Don't take this the wrong way, but... well, can you blame him? MADDIX Because of what happened in the SWF, right? Look, we all decided long ago, that was in the past. You and Todd have managed to get along fine and up until Syndicated, I thought the same could be said for us. But then he goes and leaves me up the creek without a paddle for AngleMania and to top it off, he costs us the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles last week. He told me, me and you, that he was commited to being a championship winning team again. And he wasn't. And now he's got a spot at AngleMania and the soon to be 3-time SWF World Champion is out in the cold. "It's ridiculous, is what it is." Confused by the voice without an apparant source, Landon looks around, behind, above (!?) and finds no-one. Until he spies Theodore Moneymaker, The Billion Dollar Heir casually fanning himself with a handful of $100 bills (as you do). MONEYMAKER The biggest show of the year and you, not in a high-profile match with so few weeks to go. That's not right. I don't believe we've met. Moneymaker's the name, Theodore Moneymaker, but you can call me Teddy. *extends hand* MADDIX Uhm... you do know who I am, right? MONEYMAKER HHAHAHAHAHA! Landon recoils a little, taken by surprise by the uproarious laugh. MONEYMAKER Of course I know who you are. You're Landon Maddix, the SWF's poster child and one hell of an athlete, might I add. Not forgetting of course, the sharpest female mind in professional wrestling, Miss Megan Skye. I'm a big fan of your work. And that's why I'm glad you walked past. Because, I have a 'proposition' for you. MADDIX Okay, just... one thing. You... do know who I am, right? MONEYMAKER I know exactly who you are Landon, you're a man without direction! Which just isn't right. It's clear to everyone that you've got the talent, the charisma, the youthful good looks, all the credentials needed to go straight to the top of this company. And yet, here you stand, not wondering whom you'll face at the showpiece of the OAOAST calender AngleMania, but if you'll even get a paycheck for your existance on April 1st. You've been frozen out. By this company, by it's talent, by it's owners and authority figures. Landon, I am a business man. And from what I've seen, you're a man who's good for business. Which is why I can look past your past associations with the Bruce Blanks of this world. We all make mistakes and bad business decisions in our naive moments... well, except me of course. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Landon again recoils. He really should have seen it coming this time. MONEYMAKER However, I'm confident you are no longer so naive. Your merchandise deal with the SWF alone tells me all I need to know about your credentials as business people. Now, as you probably know, The Enterprise is the guiding force of the OAOAST and with our physical and mental accument, we shall be for years to come. And I'm sure the same can be said for you. So, it seems natural that we should work out some sort of arrangement. Having the prestigous "Moneymaker" name on your CV however can do nothing but raise your stock in the eyes of the business world. And nothing but advance your career prospects. MEGAN What do you have in mind? MONEYMAKER I'll be shrift with you... I want the OAOAST World Tag Team Championships in The Enterprise's portfolio. MADDIX Okay. So, where do we come into that? MONEYMAKER It's simple really. The current holders of the titles, Chicks Over Dicks, are not the sharp business minds they claim to be. They've got a serious problem with bravado. And they've proven in the past, they're willing to accept any challenge at any time, no matter how unwise it may be. Which is where you come in. You being a four-time and current SWF Tag Team Champion, there's no better, more qualified man to capture those titles. So, with my backing, yourself and Mister Cortez challenge for the World Tag Team Titles tonight... and for your trouble, you'll be re-imbursed. MEGAN How much? MONEYMAKER Five hundred thousand dollars. MADDIX Megan grips onto Landon's arm to prevent him from fainting, trying to keep a calm exterior in front of this powerful businessman while her man babbles under his breath and starts foaming at the mouth. MEGAN That's an interesting proposal. But, why would you be paying us to win the Tag Team Titles? MONEYMAKER Well, of course, once you're victorious, you will exchange the titles for the money. Cue awkward silence. Suddenly the babbling and the foaming stops, Landon finally realising that yes, the offer that seemed too good to be true was too good to be true. MADDIX So, you want us to go out and win the titles for you, then hand them over to you? How does that solve my problem exactly? MONEYMAKER What problem? MADDIX Wha... the one you were so interested in three minutes ago! MONEYMAKER Oh, yes, that problem. Of course. Well, in addition to the money, you can be assured that I will use my extensive stroke to ensure you're on the AngleMania card in some fashion. And I will get you a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, no questions asked. MEGAN Listen, we don't need your chari... MADDIX Woah, wait a second Megan. Let me get this straight... you're going to pay me five hundred thousand dollars, get me on the AngleMania card AND get me a shot at the World Title... all to win the titles with Todd and give them to you? MONEYMAKER Exactly. So, do we have a deal? MEGAN One thing. Why can't you just wait until AngleMania. I mean, you won the Anderson Cup, went through four matches and now you're not going to take advantage of the prize for winning? MONEYMAKER That's exactly what I'm doing young lady. All I would be doing is merely speeding the process up a little. I'd still be an Anderson Cup winner and a World Tag Team Champion, it would just be an 'easier' process. I didn't make my fortune by dirtying my own fingernails you know. MADDIX He makes a good point. You've got a deal, Teddy! Landon eagerly shakes Teddy's hand, Moneymaker also shaking the hand of the clearly wary Megan while Landon takes in the smell of money on his hand. MADDIX One condition though. MONEYMAKER Name it. MADDIX Don't mention this to Todd. He's not a business man, so it's probably best I handle the money. MONEYMAKER You remind me of me so much right now, I'm so proud Landon. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The uproarious Moneymaker walks away fanning himself with the money again, as Landon watches on, trying to regulate his breathing after the latest unexpected laugh. MADDIX I think I need a Pepsi Max.Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 We fade back in on the parking garage adjacent to the arena as a silver Jaguar rolls up. The doors swing open and out step James Riggs and Staci. Both are wearing cowboy hats, but Staci goes the extra mile with a powder blue silk shirt tied up on the side to expose some midrift, white leather boots, and shorts so short, Daisy Duke would say "Damn girl, those things are too short". Riggs pops the hood and extracts their bags, extending the handles to drag them inside. Once inside Riggs removes his hat and tosses it into a trash can in disgust. RIGGS My god, I think my cholesterol shot up 30 points just standing in that joint. Bad food, bad football, bad Presidents. No wonder everyone thinks this place is backwards. STACI (giggling) I think they enjoyed seeing me be a cowgirl. RIGGS The way you rode that bull brought back SO many memories. STACI And that was just of last night. Staci gives him a sultry look, but they are suddenly stopped by an official. OFFICIAL Anglesault wants you in his office. Now. RIGGS Yeah, the boss man can wait. I'm just gonna get settled fir... OFFICIAL After what you did, I don't think he's in the mood to be kept waiting. Riggs and Staci share a puzzled look as we go back to ringside. COACH "What you did". How dare people just jump to conclusions around here. He wasn't even in the arena! And I should know. COLE Really? How? COACH As one of James' closest friends here, I am well aware about his arrival and departure times. COLE What is he, an Amtrak train? And now, OAOAST BACKTRACKER presented by OAOAST Home Entertainment's "Ultimate AngleMania" collector's set.Last WeekA melee ensues outside. The Blonds and America's Team slugging it out. Even Mackenzie gets involved, gouging Quentin's eyes. She goes to do the same to Charlie but is caught red-handed. Moss is about to give her a big wet one when CPA reaches through the ropes and grabs a handful of his hair. Blanchard and Singleton get their licks in as CPA holds Moss up for them. Suddenly, a FOOT comes between the Blonds and the head of CPA, catching him flush in the face! COLE Benjamin out of nowhere with the superkick! Quentin takes care of the Blonds with a DOUBLE COCONUT. Inside, Brock takes care of CPA, locking him in THE KATAHAJIME! COACH Choke! That's a chokehold! This isn't mixed martial arts, it's professional wrestling. Illegal in our sport! TAP~! TAP~! TAP~! * DINGDINGDING * This has been OAOAST BACKTRACKER, bought to you by OAOAST Home Entertainment's "Ultimate AngleMania" collector's set. Relive the first 5 AngleMania events with this 10 disc special edition with over 10 hours of DVD extras, including the pre and post AngleMania editions of HeldDOWN~! Own it tomorrow wherever home videos are sold or by logging on to OAOAST-dot-com. * SWOOSH * Backstage in the locker room area, the big black man that is the Enterprise Director of Security, CPA, towers behind "Mean" Gene Okerlund as he's joined by Mackenzie DeCenzo and the bubble gum chewing, pastel suit wearing Beverly Hills Blonds, who fix their hair using Okerlund's bald head as a mirror. The professional that he is, Gene goes on about his business. OKERLUND As you've just seen, one week ago on this very program, my guests at this time were defeated by the awesome trio of Brock Ausstin and America's Team in a classic 6-man tag team title match. But there wouldn't be a OAOAST without some controversy, and there is plently of that thanks to this young woman right over here...Mackenzie DeCenzo. MACKENZIE Gene, honey, haven't you read the papers? Controversy creates cash and cash creates controversy. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then video footage is worth a million. Brock Ausstin, you are a CHEATER! I, nor will Theodore Moneymaker and the rest of the Enterprise, sit idle and watch you and America's Team walk around with our 6-man World tag team championship. Answer me this, Gene: How did Mr. Ausstin score the victory? OKERLUND With a submission maneuver. BLANCHARD What? MACKENZIE SINGLETON A submission ma-- The last time I checked, isn't a chokehold illegal in the sport of professional wrestling, gramps? OKERLUND ... SINGLETON Yeah, thought so. BLANCHARD I know wrestling observers will say we're out of touch, but rules are rules, man. A choke is illegal. Then again, anything illegal seems to be the rage nowadays. An "L" will next to our names in the record book, but everybody and their mother know it should be a "W", even if only by way of disqualification. But we aren't gonna cry over spilled milk, that's what people in the arena and at home do -- in other words, losers. Those belts will be ours in due time. OKERLUND If you collect on your promise and Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright defeat Chicks Over Dicks for the tag team titles at AngleMania, then two of the three biggest tag titles in our sport will belong to The Enterprise. MACKENZIE Speaking of C.O.D., how dare Alix Spezia slam Teddy's looks. He's ruggedly handsome and a true gentleman. Of course Alix wouldn't know the first thing about being with a gentleman because she only associates herself with the lowest of men, that dirty, filthy whore! SINGLETON As if Teddy and CW needed any more motivation in their quest to become the best, the OAOAST World tag team champions, you gave them just that Alix by rejecting the Money Man's offer. I thought you and Krista preached love and not war, 'cause a war is what you're gonna get at AngleMania. Nobody turns the Enterprise down and lives to sell their story to Hollywood. BLANCHARD Hey, the bitch was right on one thing -- enormous pricks. Simon and I get that all the time from satisifed women all over the world. SINGLETON OKERLUND Let's go back to the ring.God of Thunder hits, and Thunderkid makes his way down the aisle, getting a big pop. COLE And Thunderkid set for action next! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFERThe following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way down the aisle, hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin, weighing in at 250 pounds...he is the reigning OAOAST Heartland champion...THUNDERKID!!!!! TK slides into the ring and poses on the buckles. BUFFERHis opponent...already in the ring, from Bangor, Maine, weighing in at 236 pounds...Josh Jones! COLE And a great opportunity for young Josh Jones, an opportunity to show some of his stuff on national TV! Jones ties up with TK, but TK promptly shoves him down to the mat! The crowd cheers as Jones rolls into a corner. Jones then stands up and circles the ring once again, then grabs a side headlock. TK backs him into the ropes, and shoves him off. TK takes Jones down with a shoulderblock! COLE And Thunderkid overpowering the smaller Josh Jones! Jones flips to his stomach, and TK goes to the ropes. TK hops over, and Jones hops up, then puts his head down. TK delivers a foot, then lifts Jones in a PRESS SLAM~! and slams him to the mat! COACH TK starting to get it going now! TK backs Jones into the corner and kicks away, then drags him out and executes a FALLAWAY SLAM~! TK calls out to the crowd, which gives him a positive response. He whips Jones into the corner, and catches him on the way out with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! TK then signals for the finish! COLE And this could do it right here! TK picks up Jones, then sets him up and drops him with the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!11111 COLE Put this one in the books! Cover... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFERHere is your winner...THUNDERKID!!!!! As the referee raises TK's hand, Alfdogg slides into the ring from the crowd and jumps him from behind! COLE Wait a minute! Alf stomps TK as he's on the mat, then slides to the outside and grabs the Heartland title belt. He slides into the ring, and floors TK with the belt! COLE And Alfdogg with a sneak attack on TK after his match! Remember back in December, it was TK who defeated Alf to win that title! COACH And Alf obviously with his sights set on taking it back! Alf hooks TK in the Sharpshooter, as several officials rush to the ring to pull him off! COLE This is totally unacceptable on the part of Alf! Alf finally releases the hold, as the crowd showers him with boos. Officials escort him from the ring and backstage. COLE Let's catch Josh backstage, and see if we can get a word! Josh approaches Alf from backstage. JOSH Alf, what's going on out there? ALF That, Josh, was a message. Ever since I lost my title, I've been on a roll. I was in the Lethal Rumble match for over an HOUR. I think it's about time I got my rematch. And I think he knows now, that it's time. Now, I'm just waiting to see if he wants it. Alf walks away, as Josh looks on. Cut to one of the dusty Texas trails outside the arena (or 'roads' as I understand the natives call them), where away from the action The South Central Militia sit. Much like their every day lives back in South Central, L.A, the duo sit on the curb as the world passes them by, the perfect time and place for them to discuss their future career plans. WALLACE GOD-DANG IT!! And suddenly, Marcellus Wallace stands up and kicks up some dirt in frustration. Vincent Santana looks up at One Eye, still nursing a few war wounds from the outrageous Battle Of Los Angeles at Syndicated a week and a half ago, shaking his head solemnly. WALLACE I ain't takin' this shit no more! I ain't sittin' here no more lettin' the grass grow underneath these ice creams like a punk-ass bitch, waitin' for an opportunity to walk up and slap me around the face. That's not how I do! I slap bitches around, not the other way round. They get all up on my shit try'na grind a dollar outta my pocket down at the strip joint. And I slap those hoes down! Because that's how I do! I'm Marcellus Wallace and I keep my pimp hand strong! But I can't do that no more. I can't do that no more, cause I'm all outta that scratch. I'm straight broke like MC Hammer. Twenty six THOUSAND dollars, man! Twenty six grand we gave 'dem suburban hoes and those Tibet sons'a bitches! And what have we got to show for it? (collars a passer-by) What have we got to show for twenty-six God-dang K!? Not a dang thing, that's what! Wallace releases the passer-by's collar and he immediately runs for his life. VINCENT You think I don't know that!? Shit man, that damn router cost me a straight 50 down on the corner of 86th street! I knew we shouldn't have shelled out for that broadband dip! WALLACE Wouldya shut the hell up about the muthafuckin' broadband already! The cracka in the store told me that's what we needed! If you hadn't'a taken so long out back tryna work out which wire was connected to the god-dang mains... An awkward silence falls over the duo, Wallace sitting back down on the curb and kicking up some more dust (hey, my only references for Texas were old Westerns). WALLACE Those few minutes we had them Tag straps in our hands, it was like a fresh shot of weed to some white boy college mama's boy man, it got me hooked like THAT! *snaps fingers* South Central finally hit the world. We done made it. Then, just like that, we got raided. We got straight up raided like a coupla BITCHES! Shit like that don't happen to us. When we take, we take for life, we ain't never gonna give no bitches a second chance to get back what they couldn't hold onto in the first place! I still got Malibu's real wedding ring, ya heard? When I finds the right ho, she gonna be checkin' that bling, not no rich white girl! When we take, we takes for life. But we ain't got no Tag straps no more! We ain't never gonna see a Tag Title shot again, you recognise? We gonna be laid up in our cold, cold concrete graves before The Man gives us another crack at 'dem white bitches. Hell, they ain't gonna give us no title shots period! They got about twenty straps round here and we ain't in no contention for any of 'em! We out in the cold! VINCENT So, what we gonna do about it? I'll tell ya what we're gonna do. We gonna get down for ours! The Man ain't gonna give us our shots? Well, screw that, we don't need no shots, we call our our motherfuckin' shots round here. We be straight South Centralin', we don't need no handouts! WALLACE Whatchu sayin'? VINCENT I'm sayin', we gonna get our gold and we gonna get it tonight! The Man ain't gonna help us make it, so we gonna straight take it! South Central style! Standing up from the curb, The SCM pump fists and turn back to the arena entrance, One Eye still looking a little confused as we fade out.Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 We fade in to Anglesault's office where the man himself sits at his desk. He is looking over paperwork as his door opens and in step James Riggs and Staci. ANGLESAULT (not even looking up) Sit. The duo share another confused look before taking seats across from the desk. Anglesault takes a moment to compose his thoughts before speaking. 'SAULT You didn't think you would get away with something like that, would you? RIGGS Hey, those guys were getting a little too touchy-feely with my woman, so I just.... 'SAULT YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!! Riggs and Staci are literally taken aback at the sudden outburst. Riggs looks quizically across the desk. RIGGS Actually....no I don't. What's going on here? 'SAULT Look, here's how it's going down. Admit what you did and apologize to Wolfenstein and you'll be able to work AngleMania. Riggs' mouth drops in surprise. RIGGS What....what the hell did I do to him? I'm facing him tonight, right? 'SAULT After you attacked him earlier tonight, that's a 50/50 proposition right now. RIGGS After *I* attacked him? I didn't do a damn thing to him and wasn't going to until that bell rang later on. Hell, we just got to the arena 15 minutes ago! STACI Yeah, we had that restaurant thing downtown that they booked us for. I hope you will pay the cleaning bill for the BBQ sauce that got on my shirt. Anglesault mulls this information over, cursing at himself for having forgotten about it in his anger. A knock is heard. 'SAULT Come in! A stage hand walks into the office and hands a videocasette to the GM, which AS accepts with a nod. 'SAULT Well, this should clear it up. Security happened to catch footage of the attack on their cameras, so we'll see if you didn't happen to take a bit of a detour on the way. AS turns in his chair to his right and inserts the tape into the nearby VCR. The monitor's blue screen flickers and turns to a color picture of a in intersecting hallway, the kind you'd see at any convenience store. A timecode rolls in the top left corner rolls as a crew member walks from the bottom of the screen to the top. The hallway stays empty for about 30 seconds, according to the timecode, but suddenly James Wolfenstein enters from the right, dressed in a black t-shirt and his trunks. Seconds later, a figure rushes in from that same direction and slams an object into the back of his skull. AS quickly pauses the tape at that point and leans in for a closer look. Riggs and Staci do the same. AS RIGGS & STACI B-) It isn't James Riggs in that picture. It's Gibraltar and St. Andrew. The tape continues as Wolfenstein collapses to the floor and they stand over him, kicking him about the head and torso. Suddenly, Gibraltar looks to the left and slaps Andrew on the shoulder, the pair taking off with the chair as the same stagehand we just saw rushes back into the picture and calls for help before the tape cuts out. AS turns back, his demeanor much more calm as he struggles to find words. Riggs just lets him sweat for a few moments more. RIGGS So, are the next words from you "I'm sorry", or should I tell this company to screw itself and get my lawyer? AS ...I apologize for my tone and for accusing you. I'm sorry. We'll let you know about Wolfenstein's condition and the state of your match as soon as we can. RIGGS You do that. (To Staci) Let's go. The pair angrily rise out of their chairs and storm out of the office, Riggs slamming the door closed behind him. (BACK TO SC) COACH Told you. The Coach was right again! I think YOU also owe James Riggs an apology for what you said earlier. COLE I guess the camera doesn't lie. Gibraltar and Wolfenstein have certainly had their issues over the past few months, so it looks like James Riggs is absolved. I apologize as well. COACH :DCOLE Alright, let's go backstage where one of our endless fleet of backstage announce people will be standing by. Take it away, miscellaneous interviewer! Back we go to the interview set, where Maria is the lucky interview personality getting a paycheck this week, standing by with the 24/7 Champion, Bohemoth. MARIA Hi Bo! Wanna talk? BOHEMOTH Seems like the thing to do in this sorta situation, yeah. MARIA Okay! So, you've been to Japan recently. Was it nice? BOHEMOTH Uhm... well, yeah, actually it was. I got my first real break over there, winning the HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship nearly two years ago. And ever since then, I've always been given a warm welcome in Japan. But, it's also good to be back here in the OAOAST, to concentrate on another title. That title being the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. Clearly confused, Maria chews on her fingernail while she mulls something over in her head. MARIA Buuuut... isn't that Italian guy the World Champion? Your belt says '24/7' on it. BOHEMOTH Very astute Maria. Yeah, I'm the 24/7 Champion. But now I'm back, I've got my sights set on finally becoming the OAOAST World Champion too. Which is why I'm entering that Money In The Bank Battle Royal at AngleMania VI. In front of 60,000 plus people in the Skydome. And trust me Maria, if I get a contract to fight the World Champion whether it's Drek Stone or Zack Malibu, I'm not gonna sit on it for months. I'm gonna cash that in as... "OIII!" Lowering his orange-tinted sunglasses, Bohemoth looks around to the source of the interruption. That source being JAMIE O'HARA, The Birmingham Bad Boy striding over cockily. O'HARA Easy there geezer, don't be gettin' so many big ideas. You ain't winnin' that Battle Royal mate. Coz, I'z just come from 'Sault's office an' he's put me, Johnny an' Scotty in the runnin', innit! BOHEMOTH In English please? O'HARA WOT!? I is English, prick! BOHEMOTH Listen, I suggest you watch your mouth. You and The GPX are gonna be in that Battle Royal? I'm happy for you. But you'd better stay out of my way, because from the looks of things you're about a hundred and twenty pounds soaking wet and I could probably throw you out of Skydo... *CRAAACK!!* "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Suddenly, Bohemoth goes flying forwards and O'Hara goes flying too as a result! Standing over the 24/7 Champion are MARCELLUS WALLACE, wielding a now dented steel chair in his hands, VINCENT SANTANA next to him holding referee Charles Robinson by the collar. Quickly, Robinson joins the pile of bodies on the floor, thrown down by Vinny while Marcellus forces Bohemoth onto his back and makes a cover... WALLACE COUNT, CRACKA! "ONE!" COLE Marcellus is trying to win the 24/7 Title! "TWO!" BROKEN UP BY JAMIE O'HARA!! Marcellus looks shocked for a moment as O'Hara jumps to his feet and adopts a quick fighting stance, POed at being knocked down earlier and ready to make somebody pay. The South Central Militia just look confused. VINCENT You got a death wish mister studio gangsta!? O'HARA Yo' mother! WALLACE Yo, he's talkin' bout your momma Vinny! VINCENT Not for much longer he ain't! And just like that, The SCM pounce on O'Hara! The young Englishman gets overwhelmed with clubbing overhands and short knees, until Bohemoth climbs to his feet, retrieving the steel chair that was cracked over his back and THROWING his sunglasses to the floor! Vincent quickly spots Bo coming and grabs Marcellus... *WHOOSH!* ...pulling him JUST out of the way of a wild chairshot and dragging him away from the conflict. VINCENT You just made this personal, bitches! You wanna go!? You wanna go with us!? We'll see you two bitches in the ring! South Central, we representin'! WALLACE You dead, bitches! The South Central Militia quickly retreat off in the distance, not fancying a battle with a two hundred, eighty plus pound monster with a chair in hand much. Bohemoth watches on with O'Hara at his feet, as we fade back to the ringside. COLE The South Central Militia are certainly trying to make another statement after their recent brush with success. Let's go to the ring. "ANY WAY YOU WANT IT! THAT'S THE WAY YOU NEED IT! ANY WAY YOU WANT IT!" "Any Way You Want It" by Rise Against begins playing causing the crowd to cheer. The entrance doors slide open, and Ashley Street comes out, firing the crowd up. Street raises the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her head, and then walks down the entrance ramp. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute TV time limit. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. From Evansville, Indiana. Weighing in at 159 lbs. She is the One And Only AngleSault Thread Women's Champion...ASHLEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY SSSSSTTTTTTTTRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! Ashley Street slaps hands with the fans as she makes her way to the ring. COLE Ashley Street is currently on the Road To AngleMania VI! On April 1st, she will take on Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez of The Lightning Crew one-on-one for the Women's Title! COACH Lindsay is ready, we all know that! The question is, is Ashley Street ready for the Latina Bitch at AngleMania VI? COLE Well, we'll find out at AngleMania, Coach. Ashley Street will be competing in a "tune-up" match for AngleMania VI, and I'm sure Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is watching this match closely. COACH Probably in the women's lockerroom while she's getting dressed. Can we get a camera in there? COLE Coach! Knock it off! COACH Sorry. Ashley enters the ring. She raises the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her head and smiles. She waves to the fans as "Any Way You Want It" continues playing. COLE We are less than a month away from the biggest show of the year, and for the first time ever, the OAOAST Women's Title will be defended at an AngleMania! And some would say what better match to make history with than Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez vs. Ashley Street! COACH I can't wait! That's going to be hella good! COLE Stop saying hella. Street hands the Women's Championship belt to referee Mike Chioda who hands it over to a ringside attendant. She stands in the ring looking at the entrance. "Any Way You Want It" by Rise Against dies down. COLE Ashley's got a tough opponent tonight to prepare for Lindsay at AngleMania VI. COACH At least Ashley is treating Lindsay like a threat. That's good. "Leave You Far Behind" starts playing. The entrance doors slide open, and Serena Blackmore comes out. She quickly walks down the entrance ramp, her eyes focused solely on the ring. BUFFER And her opponent...SERENNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BLLLLAAAACCCCKKKKKKMMOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Blackmore enters the ring. She stares at Ashley. COLE Serena Blackmore is no stranger to Ashley Street. They've had their share of battles in the past. This should be an interesting contest. Mike Chioda pats down Serena, and then Ashley. He then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING*ASHLEY STREET vs. SERENA BLACKMORE "Leave You Far Behind" dies down. Ashley Street looks at Serena Blackmore. Serena motions for Ashley to bring it. She does, locking up and applying a side headlock on Blackmore. COLE Ashley starting things off with a side headlock. Blackmore punches Ashley in the stomach and then shoves her off into the ropes. Serena goes for a dropkick, but Ashley stops in her tracks, and Serena hits her head! Ashley goes for the cover! 1...2....KICK OUT! Ashley gets right back up. She picks Serena Blackmore up and starts forearming her in the face several times. Ashley gives Blackmore an Irish whip into the ropes, and follows with a release belly-to-belly suplex! Street exits the ring and climbs the top rope. COLE Uh-oh! Street's going to fly! Ashley wants to go up top! Street gets herself into position...then dives off the top rope, going for a DIVING HEADBUTT~!!! THAT MISSES!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Oh poor Ashley! Oh well! Serena Blackmore crawls on over to Ashley Street. She covers Ashley! ONE! TWO! NO! ASHLEY PUTS THE LEFT SHOULDER UP! COLE Close call there for Ashley Street! Blackmore is mad, but she continues, grabbing Ashley by her hair and applying a chinlock on her. COLE Serena Blackmore is trying to take all the energy out of the OAOAST Women's Champion! Serena lets go of the chinlock. She gets up and starts stomping on the back of Ashley Street's neck. "ASH-LEE!" "ASH-LEE!" "ASH-LEE!" "ASH-LEE!" Blackmore takes a few steps back, and then rushes forward, jumping up and down with a knee drop onto the back of Ashley's neck! She goes for the cover! It gets a two count! Blackmore grabs Street up by her hair and goes for a Dragon Sleeper! But Ashley escapes by elbowing Blackmore in the face! Ashley Street bounces off the ropes...right into a dropkick from Serena Blackmore! COLE Whoa! Nice dropkick from Serena Blackmore! COACH I'm sure Lindsay Gonzalez is not at all concerned with how Ashley's doing in this match! COLE I bet. If she's not 100%, that's a better chance for her to win the Women's Title at AngleMania VI! COACH True. Although Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez can and WILL win the Women's Title at AngleMania VI, whether or not Ashley Street is 100%! You can bank on it! Blackmore gets up and poses for the fans. They boo loudly. Serena takes a bow. She has a cocky smirk on her face. COLE Serena taking some time to pose for the fans. I don't think that's wise. COACH She can do it! It's a free country! Serena Blackmore picks Ashley Street up. Ashley is slightly dazed. Blackmore grabs Ashley's right arm and whips her into the ropes. Ashley reverses. And follows with a dropkick of her own! COLE Hey! Ashley's making the comeback! Street picks Serena Blackmore up, and gives her a Russian Legsweep! Ashley picks Serena up and whips her into the ropes. BAAAAAAAAACK Body Drop on Blackmore! Ashley picks Serena up again. Forearm! Another forearm! Another forearm! Another forearm! A straight punch to the face! Irish whip into the ropes. Ashley hits Serena with a clothesline! Blackmore gets up, so Ashley hits her with another clothesline! And another! And another! AND another! COLE The OAOAST Women's Champion is on a roll here! Ashley lifts Serena Blackmore up for a vertical suplex. Street holds her up there for a few seconds. The crowd applauds Street for this. COLE Look at this, Coach! 10, 12 seconds pass. Finally, Ashley hits the vertical suplex! She then goes for the cover. ONE! TWO! THR--KICK OUT!!!!!!! COLE The match still continues! Ashley Street doesn't let the nearfall stop her. She picks Serena Blackmore up. *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Street whips Serena Blackmore into a turnbuckle corner. Ashley charges forward...and gets kicked in the face by Blackmore! Blackmore jumps onto the second rope, and waits for Ashley to come near her. COACH The Champ's in trouble! Blackmore dares Ashley to come closer, and when she does, Serena jumps off the second rope going for a bulldog-- ---BUT ASHLEY MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!!!!--- ---AND BLACKMORE HITS THE MAT!!!!!!! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Talk about a bad landing for Serena Blackmore! COACH I-- COLE Coach, I know what you are about to say, so don't! Serena Blackmore clutches her ass and winces in pain. Ashley Street, meanwhile, takes advantage of this situation, walking on over to the opposite corner and playing to the crowd. The crowd gets louder. COLE She could be going for it! It could be time! Ashley Street plays to the crowd some more. COACH Oh no. Ashley Street charges forward, jumping up... SHINING I HATE YOUR FACE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111111 COLE Shining I Hate Your Face! Ashley connects! Here's the cover! 1! 2! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (5:02) "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Ashley wins, as she moves one step closer to Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez! "Any Way You Want It" by Rise Against starts playing again. Ashley Street pumps her fist in victory. Referee Mike Chioda raises her hands. BUFFER Here is your winner...ASHLEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY SSSSSTTTTTTTTRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! COLE An impressive victory for Ashley Street tonight on HeldDOWN~! as Ashley anxiously awaits her one-on-one meeting with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez at AngleMania VI in four weeks! And speaking of Lindsay, the 1st Lady of The Lightning Crew herself appears on the entrance stage! COLE Wait a minute. Hold on. What's going on here? COACH Hooray! Lindsay's here! I was worried for a sec that we were going to go a week without a Lindsay appearance! "Any Way You Want It" continues playing as Ashley Street turns her attention to Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Lindsay has a blase look on her face, as if to say she's not impressed. She folds her arms and tilts her head to the left while looking at Ashley. The OAOAST Women's Champion just stares at the #1 Contender. COLE Lindsay seems to be trying to intimidate Ashley! COACH I don't care what she's doing, I just care about seeing her! Wearing a tight pink shirt, a leather jacket, hoop earrings, gold bracelets on her wrists, blue bell bottom jeans and black heels, Miss Puerto Rico continues staring at the woman she hopes to beat at AngleMania VI on April 1st. Ashley grabs the OAOAST Women's Championship belt from Mike Chioda and points to it while saying, "You want this? You want this? You can't get it!" She then raises the OAOAST Women's Title belt while taunting Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez some more as "Any Way You Want It" by Rise Against continues playing. COLE The champion and the challenger are trying to psych each other out before AngleMania! COACH And look at the good job Lindsay is doing! Ashley Street is shaking in her boots! COLE Now come on, Coach! We don't know that! COACH She is! She's scared of Lindsay! She's FRIGHTENED of the Latina Bitch! She wants none of that! But she's GONNA get some of that in four weeks at AngleMania and I can't wait! This is going to be one AWESOME AngleMania! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez finally starts speaking, talking trash about the Champion and pointing a finger at her. Lindsay Gonzalez makes the international "I-Want-The-Belt" hand gesture across her waist and then smiles evilly and laughs manically. Ashley Street is getting more annoyed with Lindsay by the second. She yells louder and her face gets red as she points to her Women's Championship belt and then points a menacing finger at Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Gonzalez out stretches her arms, and is all like, "BRING IT PUTA!" She then starts bobbing her head, adding movement to her bad mouthing. COLE These two women are ready to fight at AngleMania! But that's still 24 days away! What's going to happen between these two from now until April 1st? COACH I don't know, but hopefully it involves either jello, pudding or mud! COLE Will you stop!? Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Ashley Street continue taunting each other. COLE Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez will be competing in her hometown of Toronto on April 1st at AngleMania VI! How will Lindsay fare in the biggest match of her career in front of 67,000-plus fans at the Toronto SkyDome? Will Gonzalez bring some gold back to The Lightning Crew? Will Tha Puerto Rican's future wife win the Women's Title on the biggest stage of them all? We'll find out, April 1st, as Ashley Street meets Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez for the 1st Time Ever for the One And Only AngleSault Thread Women's Title! We'll be back with more HeldDOWN~! right after these messages! Stay tuned! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez has a cocky smirk on her face. Ashley Street trash talks Lindsay some more while holding the OAOAST Women's Championship belt over her head. Both ladies continue their little argument as "Any Way You Want It" by Rise Against continues playing. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Ashley Street going back and forth is the last image we see before we go to a commercial break. *COMMERCIAL BREAK* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 Back from the break and we're treated to a wide shot of the ring, the Houston crowd busy booing The South Central Militia as they stand in centre stage. COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~! and during the break, Vincent Santana and Marcellus Wallace made their way out and after what we saw earlier, I guess we're going to get some impromptu tag team action. The Militia, who pulled off the biggest upset of the year when they won the Tag Team Titles a few weeks ago... COACH Upset!? No no, the only upset was caused by AngleSault when he restarted the match and cost them the titles. COLE And gave them the shortest Tag Team Title reign in history, yes. The very same South Central Militia who jumped Bohemoth backstage and tried to take the 24/7 Championship as some sort of consolation prize earlier tonight, only for Jamie O'Hara to kinda get in everyone's way. And now, The SCM have apparantly given up on their title pursuit, in order to just kick some ass. Vinny and Moe wait impatiently, not surprising considering they've been waiting all through the commercials with only 3 AngleMania promo videos and an advert for Alex Maria Spezia's Sweeties playing on the AngleTron to pass the time. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! In the ring, from South Central L.A... weighing in at a total combined weight of four hundred, sixty pounds. The former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... MARCELLUS "ONE EYE" WALLACE... VINCENT "WHITEY" FORD... THE SOUTH CENTRAL MILLLIIITTIIIIIAAAAAA!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Buffer gets a murderous look on the word 'former', but besides that The Militia barely break their gaze down the aisle... "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" As finally the block rocking beats of "Fix Up, Look Sharp" by Dizzee Rascal pound through the arena. And still stewing from earlier, Jamie O'Hara strides down the aisle, talking smack in the general direction of no-one in particular. O'Hara strides down the aisle and tries to jump into the ring, but The SCM advance on him as he reaches the apron, giving him some second thoughts. BUFFER And introducing their opponents! First, from Birmingham, England... weighing in at one hundred and seventy pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE OOOOOO'HHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Not the first time O'Hara's mouth has got him into a battle. Although, when he took exception to Bohemoth's claim that he's going to win that Money In The Bank Battle Royal, I doubt he'd have expected to be suddenly teaming with him a matter of minutes later. COACH And saving his title. COLE Yeah, that too. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The sliding doors part again and after a quick costume change, Bo is dressed for the fight, out of the suit and into his ring gear. Of course, O'Hara's gear is pretty much universal. Stopping at the top of the ramp, Bohemoth lowers his orange-tinted sunglasses and glares down at The South Central Militia daring him on, before marching coolly down the aisle. BUFFER And his partner! From Greenville, South Carolina... weighing two hundred and eighty four pounds... the reigning OAOAST 24/7 Champion... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEEEMMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Well, Bohemoth said it himself, he'll be in the Money In The Bank Battle Royal at AngleMania VI. And you wouldn't bet against him winning it... COACH Unless you're Jamie O'Hara. Bo jogs right on up the steps and The South Central Militia stand their ground as he enters the ring, handing his 24/7 Title to referee Nick Patrick and slowly removing the shades. Unfortunately, his partner doesn't quite share his cool approach and rushes headlong into the ring, tackling into Vinny and Moe in unison, forcing Bo to quickly wade in before the bell as well! COACH It's breaking down already! *DINGDINGDING!* Taking Marcellus out of the equation, Bo follows One Eye into a corner with some right hands. Which leaves O'Hara scrapping with Santana, the two somewhat scrawny halves of the respective teams showing no finesse with some wild punches and elbows. Eventually Vinny pushes O'Hara off of him and both men scramble to their feet, O'Hara charging at and underneath Vinny's elbow attempt. Off the ropes, O'Hara again sweeps underneath Santana's attempted strike and comes off the far ropes, leaping up and catching Vincent in the shoulder with a Busaiku Knee Attack! The force sends Vinny spinning to the canvas and quickly out of the ring. Meanwhile, Bo motions for his makeshift partner to move out of the way as he whips Marcellous out of the corner, straight into the opposite one. Bo makes to follow in but thinks again as he sees O'Hara, calling him over and instead whipping O'Hara in. The Birmingham Bad Boy lands a clothesline on Moe, not doing too much damage... ...but Bohemoth's follow up clothesline certainly does, CRUSHING Marcellus in the buckles! COLE A little bit of teamwork. Infact, these two have actually teamed before. They were even stablemates as part of The Upstarts not so long ago. COACH Nobody remembers that, stat geek. Get a real job. Marcellus collapses in the turnbuckles as referee Nick Patrick tries to restore some order, getting one man in and one man out. That one man out ends up being Bohemoth, as O'Hara ignores the ref and starts to choke One Eye with the flat of his Nikey trainer. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." O'HARA AI'IGHT, EASY GEEZER, EASY! The rather unique attempts to calm the referee down seem to work, Patrick too confused by the uneducated British drawl to issue a warning. He just watches on as O'Hara struggles to pull Marcellus to his feet. Struggles and fails, as One Eye shrugs him away. O'Hara runs right back in with a couple more stomps and tries again to pull One Eye up by the hair. Moe doesn't appreciate the roughing of his 'do though and again shoves O'Hara away, this time forcefully enough to send O'Hara tumbling backwards. Rolling through to his feet, the plucky Brit tries again to attack. However this time Marcellus is waiting and comes out low with a Spear which cuts the hundred seventy pounder right off his feet! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The back of Jamie's head bounces violently off the canvas and down he stays, as Marcellus climbs to his feet, growling under his breath as he tags Vinny into the match. COLE The newly svelt Vincent Santana in. Down to two hundred ten, so I understand. COACH But still as tough as ever. And still POed after that 'experience' with Chicks Over Dicks at Syndicated, as I'm sure Jamie O'Hara is about to find out. Striding across the ring, Santana lands a firm boot to the back of the head. And a second. Vinny then drags O'Hara up by his baggy vest top, taking hold of the head and simply throwing him back down with another whiplashing landing on the back of the head. VINNY WHASSUP NOW!? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Have you noticed how many of the roster talk 'street'. It says quite a bit about our hiring policy, doesn't it? COACH Word, yo. Dragging O'Hara up again Vinny executes a simple scoop and a slam beside the ropes, before exiting to the apron. Gripping the top rope with both hands he then sets and propells himself back in... with the HÍLO! Vinny isn't done yet though as he rolls right on through to his feet, hitting the far ropes and dropping a running legdrop across the throat. Cover... 1... 2... O'Hara grabs the bottom rope. As Marcellus kicks O'Hara's hand off the bottom rope and yells at him to "fight like a man", Santana brings him back up to his feet again. A forearm stuns Jamie against the ropes and sets him up for an irish whip, a knockdown with a back elbow the fate awaiting him. Taking a moment to taunt Bohemoth on the apron, Vinny then places a foot on O'Hara's chest and demands the referee count... COLE Oh come on... 1... 2... No! COLE That type of cover just isn't going to get the job done. Tag is made and Marcellus comes back in, combining with his fellow South Central native with a double irish whip. O'Hara gets flung back and a double shoulderblock puts him down with barely any need for effort from the Militia. Vinny pops his imaginary collar in the fallen SuperJay's direction, while Marcellus dares Bohemoth to come and help his partner out. Of course, Bo isn't going to fall for that ploy. *SLAP!* Even as Marcellus reaches down and slaps O'Hara across the chest, sending an echo around the arena! COACH That's just a jerk move right there, which is probably why it was so entertaining. Moe is able to just toy with O'Hara now, paintbrushing him with the flat of his boot which is as much an insult as an offensive manoeuvre. Another paintbrush seems to rile Jamie up, fists clenched as he begins to climb off the canvas. Until the right arm comes CLUBBING down between his shoulder blades, knocking him right back onto his face. COLE The South Central Militia never famed for their artistic ability. They're all about straight ahead, smashmouth wrestling and it seems to be working right about now. By the seat of his pants O'Hara is lifted back up before being pressed across the ring into the South Central Militia corner. As soon as he lands, O'Hara is clipped with a slap by Santana, referee Nick Patrick struggling to keep control of both men at once. Tag is made and Vinny is now legal. Which doesn't stop Marcellus from loitering a little longer, The Militia pulling O'Hara out of their corner by his wrists, extending him to arms length before YANKING him right back in! The buckles whiplash O'Hara right back out, a word being used a lot and having a lot of effect on Jamie O'Hara so far. "JAY - MEE!" "JAY - MEE!" "JAY - MEE!" "JAY - MEE!" As the crowd rally behind Jaymee... uh, 'Jamie'... he's rolled onto his back and pinned down for the cover... 1... 2... ...but kicks out! COLE O'Hara showing some fight here. COACH Yeah, but that's just playing into Vinny and Moe's hands. They like beatin' on people, but they especially like it when those people try and fight back, because it just means all the more fun to be had. They'd happily beat on Jamie all night if he lets them. Which is clear to all of Houston, Texas right now as Vinny simply mounts O'Hara and starts to pepper him with right hands. Referee Nick Patrick tries to lay in a five count, but when that doesn't seem to work he tries to drag Vinny off himself instead, which doesn't earn him any 'cred' with The SCM. Exchanging an angry glare with the referee, Santana loads O'Hara up with another irish whip, ducking his head ready for a backbody drop. But he ducks to earlier and O'Hara is able to plant his hands on the back, using his momentum to float over and land safely on his feet! "YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" Vinny starts to wonder why there was no loud thud accompanying his backdrop and slowly turns around, O'Hara waiting on him with a Standing Dropkick! COLE I think he's tired of being beaten on Coach! Back to his feet first Santana goes for O'Hara again. But again O'Hara springs up with a Dropkick, managing to land on all fours this time! COLE O'Hara's mounting a comeback right here! He just needs to make the tag! One more time Vinny beats O'Hara to his feet but one more time O'Hara is ready, launching himself up... ...and MISSING the dropkick, going to the proverbial well once too often in a row! After a jarring landing Jamie stumbles back to his feet, a boot to the gut making his base even more unsteady. And as he doubles over in pain, Santana runs the ropes, bringing down the axe across the back of the head and dropping The Birmingham Bad Boy face-first in the process!! "OOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Vicious Scissors Kick from Vincent Santana! Right to the back of the head, that may be all! Vinny flips O'Hara onto his back and hooks the leg tight... 1... 2... NO! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Santana and Wallace quickly threaten the referee, but he stays firm, only a two count. So, cussing up a storm, Santana slaps his forearm and calls for the end. COACH Drive-By time! COLE Vincent Santana, looking to use that surgically implanted metal plate in his forearm to his advantage. You'd think the officials would have learnt with Luger, but I guess not. As O'Hara struggles to his feet Vinny begins to rev up, winding the arm up as if teasing the crowd about what's coming. Then, once he's sure his opponent is on his way up, Vinny makes for the ropes. Doing a 180 doesn't seem to be about to help O'Hara, unaware of where his opponent is until the very last second, when the metal enhanced forearm comes flying at him and... ...DUCKED! Still in the moment Santana does a quick u-turn and tries again. But this time O'Hara is aware of what's coming early enough to do more than just counter, leaping up and snaring Santana's head by the legs, pulling him over with a quick Hurricanrana!! COLE O'Hara evades the Drive-By! But he still needs to tag, can he get over to Bohemoth here? Unfortunately for The Birmingham Bad Boy he ends up the wrong side of the ring to get to his partner quickly, pulling himself up right in front of Marcellus Wallace. Big One Eye decides he has to take over for his partner and enters the ring, looking to take O'Hara's head off. The Brit manages to duck the wild swing though and goes for a boot... but gets CAUGHT! Marcellus holds O'Hara by the ankle and laughs it up his expense, as O'Hara tries in vain to reach him with some punches. It's not going to happen though, O'Hara at Moe's mercy as he yanks the leg upwards, flipping O'Hara inside out... ...and he moonsaults onto his feet, only to lose his footing and go stumbling backwards... ...ALL THE WAY INTO HIS CORNER! TAG TO BOHEMOTH!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE By luck or by judgement, there's the tag and here comes the 24/7 Champion!! By the time Moe has realised what's happened he's already in the firing line, the fresh 24/7 Champion running in and knocking him down with a clothesline! Back to his feet comes Vinny, but he gets a clothesline too! And another clothesline for Marcellus! Bohemoth, cleaning house! Dis-orientated, Santana makes it back to his feet and dusts himself down, as The Meterosexual Monster lies in wait. Little does Whitey know what's waiting for him as he turns around, picking up some pace as he sees Bo set... *WHAM!* COLE SPINEBUSTAAAAAAHHHHHHHH~! Santana gets drilled, clean in the middle of the ring. And that might be it, if not for Marcellus Wallace jumping Bohemoth from behind! COLE Now, both members of the South Central Militia are in. It may take both of them to put Bohemoth down. And that's just if they're lucky! Clubbing away with forearms Marcellus tries to beat some of the fight out of Bohemoth, beating him into the ropes and trying to send him for the ride. Bo reverses the whip though and it's Marcellus who hits the ropes, scooped up on the rebound and Powerslammed to the canvas! The 24/7 Champion pops right back to his feet and looks around the Houston crowd, eyes wide as he comes to a stop. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! COLE This does not look good for The South Central Militia! COACH No kidding. Bohemoth stalks behind Marcellus now and waits for him to get back up. Slowly One Eye does just that, turning around and finding himself scooped right back up into the arms of The Epitome Of Masculinity with just as much ease as the first time. Bohemoth carries the 250 pounder around like he was nothing, picking his spot before swinging him around... ...out... ...NO! Vincent Santana lunges in from behind and catches Bohemoth in the back of the head with his forearm!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE I think that was the metal plate! He got him right in the back of the head with that surgically enhanced forearm, Bohemoth might be out cold! Realising he's the legal man, Vinny quickly scrambles back over and forces Bohemoth over onto his back, slumping on top with something resembling a cover... 1... 2... SAVE BY O'HARA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE I think he would have had him, if not for Jamie O'Hara breaking the count! COACH No question about it. The South Central Militia had the match won! First to meet O'Hara comes Marcellus, a forearm fending him off and allowing Jamie to jack him with a quick Jawbreaker! That does his weakened neck little good though. And it leaves him wide open as Vinny climbs back to his feet, cutting O'Hara down with a clothesline to leave him the only man standing. Falling to one knee briefly, Santana shakes out the cobwebs before cocking the forearm again and measuring Bohemoth, as he slowly begins to crawl to his feet. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" Slowly Bo reaches his feet, at which point Santana makes his intentions very clear with a shout of "DRIVE-BY, BITCHES!" Off the ropes he comes and with the forearm loaded he charges back, aiming for the front of the groggy 24/7 Champion's head this time... ...and he gets caught! Bohemoth ducks the forearm and locks it up with a Cobra Clutch. Santana begins to thrash around but the chokeout is the least of his problems, as Bohemoth then jerks him off his feet and brings him DOWN ACROSS THE KNEE with the Cobra Clutch Backbreaker!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Style Injection! He folded Santana in half!! 'Whitey' writhes on the canvas, as Bohemoth stands over him. No longer cool, calm or collected, Bo seethes under his breath, still looking a little woozy as he looks into the fans. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! COLE Well, not many people escape two thumbs down, but four? After a quick detour, in order to clothesline Marcellus Wallace and send him spiralling to the outside, Bohemoth then turns back to Santana, who by this time has labouriously managed to get back to his knees. Which isn't good enough for the 24/7 Champion, scooping Vinny up into his arms and parading him briefly, before swinging him around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Erotic Awakening Of B!! As O'Hara keeps guard, Bo makes the pin... 1... 2... 3!!!! And that's all (s)he wrote! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winners of the match... the team of JAMIE O'HARA and the OAOAST 24/7 Champion... BBOOOOO - HHEEEEEEMMOOOOOTTHHHH!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth pushes back to his feet and smirks down at Santana, his arm raised in victory by Nick Patrick. A hand suddenly slaps him on the back though and he turns around to see Jamie O'Hara standing in front of him, saying something which isn't quite audible over the sounds of "Liberate". COLE Jamie O'Hara and Bohemoth, 2 and 0 as a tag team even if the first one was about a year and a half ago. COACH And it might be another year and a half before they team again. COLE Well, they had words earlier. And... I can't tell if Jamie O'Hara is congratulating the 24/7 Champion or badmouthing him. As the 'discussion' goes on between the victors, O'Hara seems to be getting more and more animated. Bo just looks at him at first, but pretty soon fingers are being pointed. Until, from out of nowhere, Bohemoth has had enough and BOOTS O'HARA IN THE GUT!! As if on cue the music cuts, as Bohemoth quickly grabs Jamie by the head, the seat of his pants, runs him across the ring and sends him flying, over the top rope and to the arena floor!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAH - BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "Liberate" strikes up again as O'Hara lies in a heap on the floor, Bohemoth barely showing any emotion either way as he takes his 24/7 Championship and walks off. COLE Well, if that's not a clear message, I don't know what is. Bohemoth is going to the Money In The Bank Battle Royal at AngleMania VI. And he intends to do to 19 other men exactly what he just did to his quote-un-quote 'tag team partner' tonight- throw them right over the top and to the floor, until he's got his name on that guaranteed contract at an OAOAST World Title shot. COACH And he might just do it. But it's not going to be as easy as taking a beaten up hundred, seventy pounder and throwing him over the top when they're not expecting it. There's gonna be plenty more guys to contend with, bigger guys, hungry guys, guys who see that man as a big threat. Bohemoth strides off down the aisle as we cut back to ringside and Jamie O'Hara, sitting up and nursing a cut lip. The Birmingham Bad Boy glares at the AngleTron as Bohemoth walks away, wiping the blood from his lip and nodding his head. COLE Folks, Terry Taylor is backstage with the only two people he's actually allowed to interview, Chicks Over Dicks. Right on cue the view is switched to the oaoast interview area, a fanciful stage, designed in a nouveau tech theme and populated with various posters hyping the upcoming Anglemania pay per view, and blown up covers from various oaoast dvds. In the center of the screen, stands Terry Taylor a monument to unremittingly horrid dorkdom in an Anglemania football jersey, white sweat pants, and oaoast camo baseball hat. Pause for a minute and think of how lame one has to be, not just to wear a wrestling related baseball hat, but one that has nothing on it but a wrestling company's logo. I mean, fuck, dudes, if you like 50 Cent, you ain't gonna be throwin up no Interscope hoodie, is you? On the other end of the style spectrum sits the forever fashionable tag team champions, Chicks Over Dicks. Krista, holding a bottle of Moet champagne, has posed her figure into an elegant deepv neck lace tank top that alternates between feminine pink and ferine black tiers, and an ocean blue fringe skirt, featuring vertical shell pattern embroidery. Alix conforms to her reputation as beach babe, wearing a light blue white striped Hollister long sleeve collared shirt, and white, heavily destroyed shorts that cut off at the thighs. TERRY TAYLOR Fans, Terry Taylor here with oaoast world tag team champions, and Hollywood it girls, Chicks Over Dicks! Girls, we have a huge match coming up next, Todd Cortez and Landon Maddix, the 2007 SWF clusterfuck winner, two time SWF world champion, and one half of the current SWF tag team champions will challenge you for your tag team titles. Even though you're both prone to understatement about the importance of your own matches, I think you could least admit that this match is a big deal..... KRISTA Oh, yes, Terry! Never in my most moistening and titillating of sexual fantasies could I have envisioned the orgasmic loveliness that has come about from the birth of this splendid matchup! Landon Maddix, Todd Cortez, Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright give yourselves a pat on the crotch or hemorrhoid riddled buttocks ,which ever is your preference gents,as you magnificent citizens have most certainly earned it for this special Olympian task you've completed. Why with this historic union, you've made the Treaty of Versailles appear similar to the disgraced debauchery of Terry Taylor's gay4pay arrangements with young, innocent, independent wrestlers hungry for a taste of wrestling's elusive spotlight. It's okay, Terry, I don't judge you. The teenage years are turbulent for most males. At some point, you're going to get tired of the old unmarried boys basketball coach pulling you into the locker room and fondling you under the pretense of “improving athletic coordination”. This is your way of "getting back" “AHHH, Coach Jenkins your snake is spitting poison at me!” TAYLOR Krista, those aren't very nice things to say about a person! KRISTA I don't care, I'm gorgeous, I don't have to be nice. I will bitchtalk you all day, every day, from here until the sabbath. Can't stop, won't stop. Rocafella records. ALIX (to Terry) I told you not to let her edit your autobiography. TAYLOR Live and learn, Alix. Well, speaking of The Enterprise and Landon Maddix, they've attached a most troubling stipulation to this championship bout. Should Cortez and Maddix win the titles, Landon will turn the belts over to The Enterprise in exchange for five hundred thousand dollars, a match at Anglemania, AND a guaranteed world title shot. As tag team champions who have fought tooth and nail to preserve your titles under sometimes unusual conditions, how do you feel about Maddix being so willing to sell off his titles to The Enterprise? ALIX Dude, five hundred thousand dollars is, like, a really big amount of money! Do you know what I'd do if I had five hundred thousand dollars? KRISTA Pay me back for the years of undue emotional hardship you've caused me? ALIX Don't be, silly, Krissy! No, I'd find the two toughest looking, most bad ass biker dudes in the whole wide world, and I'd be all like “Hey-yo, chico, yeah, you maricon punto, Tony Montana...he don't die dat easy.”, I'd also talk like Scarface if I had five hundred thou, So, I'd say to them “I'll pay you five hundred dollars if you dudes swap spit.” And they'd get all awkward and stuff, because their entire life has been built on a heteronormative shunning of homopositive ideals. But five hundred thousand, that's hella dope cash, and if you close your eyes you can kinda pretend the dude with the swastika tattoo on his neck and two counts of statuary rape against him is Jodie Foster. I loooove her! Anyway, so yeah, they'll kiss and stuff. But it'll be on the lips, and that is so not cool. So, I'm l all like “you gotta kiss him like I kiss my sister, with some freaking tongue, baby!” So they hesitate on it. But once again, five hundred thousand dollars! Just imagine Jodie from Catchfire and we're so looking at some serious tonsil hockey with the possibility of triple overtime. She shoots she scores! KRISTA (to Terry) I've been thinking of killing myself with a surfboard. Pretty poetic, symbolizes my lost youth and innocence in the pursuit of monetary wealth, et cetrea. Think I can do it? TAYLOR I guess if you hit yourself with enough velocity to cause internal bleeding or to split your skull in two. ALIX (rambling on and on and on and on) I mean, maybe, with all that money Landy can finally take Piglet back to the farm and get a girlfriend who's, like, super hot. Someone who looks like, uh, um..... TAYLOR Jodie Foster? ALIX :firedevil: BACK OFF JERKFACE, JODIE IS MINE :firedevil: But yeah, like a really hot chick, instead of one like Megan, who's so nasty she doesn't even wear underwear to cover up her no-no spot, just a sign that says “Warning: Exposure to may cause pus like yellow discharge, difficult urination, swollen testicles, and extreme infection.” Poor Landon! I feel, like, soooo bad for him, I just wanna start a PBS telethon for the dude! “Landon's ability not to bone women who look like they came from the pages of Animal Farm is made possible by a corporate sponsorship and generous donations from viewers like you.” My heart goes out to you, Landon! No one should ever be forced to shack up with Mister Ed. There are laws against that sorta thing, ya know. Except in Missouri. Just ask my Uncle Juan. I guess it is sorta cool to be the only one of my friends who has cousins that hatched from an egg. TAYLOR And Krista besides putting out a contract on my life, what would you do with five hundred thousand dollars? KRISTA I have five hundred thousand dollars, Terry. I can make that in less then a month. I am a fitness queen, a health and welfare consultant to only the brightest of shinning stars. I'm Madonna, I'm Cher, I'm Oprah, you don't even need the Isadora Duncan, just say the name Krista, and people will bow their heads at the very mention of royalty. ALIX And you tell the couples therapist I'm the one causing misery and nausea! KRISTA Until I manage to burn your condo in Phoenix to the ground, as you have done to me, I think “misery” is a fair assessment of what you bring to the relationship. ALIX Oh my god, that was like three weeks ago! Get over it! TAYLOR Girls, be nice to each other. Krista, you can get another condo but you can never get another Alix. KRISTA A fact that haunts my every waking hour. TAYLOR Krista, you aren't mad at Landon for accepting the Enterprise's despicable offer? KRISTA We're I, People's sexiest woman, the kind of boorish, vulgar, alcohol consuming bitch who's prone to acts of anger, and known for her daily melodramatic fits of rage, perhaps I might have mapped out some kind of treacherous plan to have Landon's naked, beaten, bullet riddled body lobbed from the heights of the Golden Gate Bridge in response to attempting to advance his deader then Christian Wright's sex life career at the expense of my eightieth most treasured possession...no wait, eighty first, there's my Lita Ford albums, she's dreaaaamy. So, eighty second most value...no wait there's that dime I found at Dodger Stadium when I was twelve. Eighty third most valued possession. Yes definitely eighty third. Tied for eighty third at least. TAYLOR But you aren't that type of wom...goddess? KRISTA Don't patronize me. I am that kind of girl, and I have made that kind of arrangement. But Landon Maddix will most likely avoid a savage and untimely death, sorry world, because I, and my ever so lovely partner, barring being struck by lightening when we're in the ring, can't be beaten by Landon. ALIX No way, Krissy! Lightening could never, ever, ever help Landon! Because probably after we get charred to a crisp, a gust of wind would come through, and sweep up our ashes and some of 'em would probably get stuck in Landon's throat, and he'd choke to death on our ashes and that's sorta, kinda, a submission victory. KRISTA Okay, what if the ghost of my sister's goldfish that I flushed down the toilet as an April fools joke when I was four, finally gets it's karmic revenge on me and drops an ice cream truck from the heaven's right on top of us? ALIX Now that's just stupid, Krissy. The centrifugal force, big word, heard Lauren say it on The Hills this week on MTV, she's such a slut, would cause all the delicious snack treats, the Choco Tacos, the Creamsiscles, the Ice Tickles, the Klondike Bars, to topple out of the back of the truck, pinning Landon underneath their tasty weight, leading to a double count out! KRISTA Wow, Landon, you're even worse off then I thought, when a physical impossibility can't save your ass! Straight up and down like six o'clock, Terry Taylor, Landon Maddix is gonna get the everlasting shit stomped out of him. Pourquoi, Mademoiselle Duncan? Because of his nickname, La Cucaracha. What does Cucaracha sound like to you? It sounds like cockroach. And what do you do to a cockroach? ALIX Hehehehheheh. You said cock. I could think of a really nasty, but very funny joke to tell, but because I'd rather not be kicked out of the house anytime soon, I'm gonna keep these lips ziplocked. KRISTA Smart girl. Now, if you're from somewhere in Africa the cockroach is considered a snack and you'll probably eat it. But if you're from Africa there's a better then sixty percent chance you have AIDs, you may have malaria, your country may be torn apart by unending ethnic and tribal warfare, your average income may never exceed more then two hundred dollars a year, your educational pursuits may never extend past the age of eleven, and the only time the white capitalist oppressors ever think of you is when they have to buy a blood diamond for the two dollar whore they're cheating on their pregnant wife with. So go ahead and enjoy your Anthropoda Insectas, Africa, while greedy whitemen like Theodore Moneymaker, feast upon the billions and billions of dollars earned off the blood of your murdered children. You've earned it, dudes! ALIX You're just the cutest widdle thing when you're getting butthurt about people you'll never meet! KRISTA But in America, the land of apple pie and pop starlets that make Alix look sane and well adjusted..... ALIX Get well soon, Britney! KRISTA (cont) We squash cockroaches, and that, dear Terrence, is precisely what will happen to The Enterprise's puppet, the so called savior of the oaoast, the former SWF world champion, the current SWF tag team champion, Landon Maddix. And as for Todd, Alix, sweetheart, what do we to people named Cortez? ALIX Deport them or pay them less then minimum wage to work as dishwashers in California Pizza Kitchen's across the country? KRISTA Unfortunately. But that's a rant for another day. Todd, I don't know what Leon Rodez, has in store for you, but what I see in your immediate future is a massive amount of pain and discomfort and a long drawn out war with the Blue Cross insurance company over whether or not they'll pay for the surgery to remove this Moet bottle from your ass. Sincerely, your's in Christ, Krista Isadora Duncan. TAYLOR Girls, thank you very much for your thoughts, and as always for your kindness and respect. Fans, when we return it's Maddix and Cortez against Chicks Over Dicks for the oaoast world tag team titles.COMMERCIAL BREAK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 When we return from break, we're shown an image of a young, bearded Arab man, in a Ryan Smyth Edmonton Oilers hockey jersey standing in front of an oaoast Anglemania banner. Astute viewers will remember him as Abdullah Abir Nerdly, adopted brother of Marvin, Melvin, and Melody Nerdly. They'll also remember that he got the crap kicked out of him by 24/7 champion, Bohemoth, last week and Patty LOLed tremendously at his beating. However the whupping hasn't turned Abir Nerdly off of the oaoast and he's poised to speak on matters. Let's listen with an open mind! ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY (ranting and raving, spit flying from his mouth, eyes wide, housing a look of pure righteous insanity) مذنبون والسفيه. العالم ريكونيزي التي يجب برعشيت ويموت يموت يموت يموت :firing: Bohemoth يموت يموت قيمة المتشردون قتلهأن يأتي الخير من بلدي. كانت نابعه من24/7 صميم الروح ، روح القلب :firing: oaoast ، وانه لا يمكن وقفه. لا كلباتNerdly لا المعازقAnglemania ليس من المال أو القوة. فقط عندما اقول انه سيوقف. ليس هناك سوى القتل والموت لاولئكاسرتي بيتي عندما يموت يموت لي حرق وجه HeldDOWN الاستغلال لكم فقط اختبار الذين oaoast :stupid: يرغبون في الوقوف ضدي!!أنت م حمقى لا يعرفون ما انا قادر! بلدي كبير سلطة ديستوري Anglemania منك!Nerdly لا يستطيع احد ان يمنعني! القتل! القتل! القتل! زاك ماليبو أنت الميت! دريك الحجارة أنت الميت! مشروع أنت الميت! عبير عبد الله! Anglemania! :cheers: YOU THE READER (We return to sofa central where the announce team is just as confused and mystified by Abdullah's words as everyone else) COLE Something about, Anglemania, maybe, I just...not all that certain. But he sounds enthusiastic, that's for sure! COACH I think he was saying he'd rather nail a post-op tranny then watch Anglemania. “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice” from Abdullah Abir Nerdly's mouth straight to your ears. COLE What does the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice have to do with post....I can't believe I'm about to even dignify your homophobic comments with a response. Grow up, Coachman. LEON RODEZ Maybe he gave advice on taint tinting. “Taint tinters are lost and foolish souls. If your partner can't love your anus for who it is, then you are in an unhealthy relationship.” Agreed one hundred percent Abdullah Abir Nerdly, been preaching that for years. COLE Well, folks, on that fantastic and classy note, I guess I ought to mention we're joined by Leon Rodez for this upcoming oaoast tag title match between Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez and champions, Chicks Over Dicks. These are four people you have had various, uh, issues with, for lack of a better word, over various points of time. But tonight it will most likely be Todd Cortez, your possible Anglemania opponent, and not your ex-girlfriend, Alix Spezia, who captures your attention.REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH Marylin Manson's decadent industrial-glam take on Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus booms to life, bringing with it an army of boos and jeers. From the parting entrance doors steps Landon Maddix, an unusual glow wafting from his body, no doubt spurred on by his fantastic deal with the devil. His arms extend to his side, a pose of arrogant triumph in the face of the venom that swells around him. Standing behind him is Todd Cortez, a stewing mixture of frustration an annoyance. What he's so mad about, no one knows. He's just an angry dude, I guess. At Landon's side is his ever present lady love, Megan Skye, an unfortunate victim of a few slut chants from drunks near the entrance stage. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of forty minutes and it is for the oaoast tag team titles. First, from Hollywood Boulevard... weighing in at two hundred and twenty six pounds... "THE URBAN LEGEND" TTOOOOOOOOODD CCOOOOOOORRRRTTEEEEEZZZZZZ!! His partner, being accompanied by MEGAN SKYE! Hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... he weighs two hundred, eight pounds., he is one half of the SWF tag team champions, LLLAAAAAAANNDDOOOOOOOONN "LA CUCARACHA" MMMMAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIXXXXXX!!! COLE The Enterprise never fails to disgust me. They've somehow decided that performing at Anglemania and actually wrestling for the belts is “well bellow their stature in the community”, “unwise given their position.” So they're trying to use their wealth to facilitate the purchase of the belts, first through Alix Spezia and now with an arrangement with Landon Maddix. Terrible and disgraceful. Leon what do you think of Moneymaker's deal with Landon? RODEZ Personally, I think the deal is dumbest thing I've heard in my life, and try to remember where I've worked the past three years. I guest commentated for the Anderson Cup final and it was a great match, but if you're going to try and circumvent what makes a championship a championship, just so you can gain some kind of messed up “dominance” within the oaoast, like The Enterprise is doing, then you should've let someone else take your spot in the Anderson Cup final. If the deal goes down as Moneymaker intends it will basically make a mockery out of an entire division. But, I guess money talks. It's a sweet deal for Maddix, but you'd never see me bite on that offer. COLE Either way this is a very impressive matchup, Landon and Todd Cortez were once SWF tag team champions, and Landon is a current SWF tag team champion and has the held the belts four times in total. If anyone can execute Moneymaker's masterplan it has to be him. Wearing a sleeveless intricately embroidered leather jacket over his half red, half yellow spandex shorts, Landon preens and primps his way down the entry aisle. The incredibly arrogant superstar comes off as a reincarnation of Gorgeous George, infuriating everyone he passes with his self obsessed behavior. Cortez is instantly distracted from proceedings by the presence of his archenemy, Leon Rodez. Despite some half hearted pleadings from Megan for focus, The Urban Legend is unable to take his eyes off Rodez; and The Silky Smooth one feels quite the same about him. The tense stare down is only heightened by the incredible amount of threats spewing from Todd Cortez's mouth. RODEZ Keep running that mouth, Todd. I'm gonna remember everything you're saying. And all those comments and insults are just going to make it that much sweeter when I beat you down at Anglemania. Within seconds Leon's threatening words give way to a more positive sonnet....Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! The infectious bounce that characterizes Avril Lavigne's top 40 track Girlfriend fills the arena with peppy brilliance, and draws a gargantuan amount of cheers from the now standing audience. As pink lights flicker illumination at the entrance stage, chants of “C-O-D” are already the order of the day for many fans. A pink pyro waterfall rains from the ceiling, connecting with a red pyro fountain, both beautiful displays sprinkling the entrance way with shimmering sparks. Once the pairing subsides, a golden pyro wall engulfs the stage with it's tremendous size, leaving behind a thick haze of simmering smoke in it's wake. Through the build up of smoke appears the gorgeous image of Krista Isadora Duncan. The viscous vixen is attired much differently then usual, looking like she's attending a costume party in a red Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim baseball hat, matching jersey, and short red micro skirt. COACH Oh mama, talk about a California Angel! Or is it a Los Angeles Angel? Or an Anaheim Angel? Or Los Angeles Anaheim of Angel...er...Angel of Los Anaheim...crap! In Kris' possession sits an aluminum baseball bat, which she mischievously bangs against her hands, letting her rivals know she has no issues with using the dangerous weaponry should the situation call for it. Alix, strangely wearing the exact same casual prep attire she had on for the interview, skips from the open entrance doors, preparing to whip the audience into a frenzy. But Krista uses her baseball bat as an impassable obstacle, halting Alix in her tracks. With Alix temporally subdued, Krista brings the bat over her head and gently slides the cold metal down her back, before using the tool to vigorously thrust Alix into her arms. Ally turns over her shoulders, brushes a strand of her brown locks out her face, and tosses a bewitching kiss to the camera, causing cute super imposed red lips to pop on the screen. COACH Yo, any fool that was hookin' up with Alix, then throws that away is some kind of got damned moron. Am I right, fellas? I'm glad no one out here is stupid enough to break up with a chick that hot. And she's loaded 'cause of her cookie company. You'd never have to work again if you were dating her. A man would either have to be gay, and idiot, or both to break up with Alix. Right, Leon? BUFFER And the champions.... “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” BUFFER .....first, from Los Angeles, California, she is two time twenty four seven champion, the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, The Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Together they are three time OAOAST world tag team champions, America's Sweethearts, and Hollywood “It” Girls, Chicks Over Dicks! COACH This song, this song, this song. It reminds of something, or someone. Someone very close to me, as in right next to me. Leon Rodez! But why would this song, titled Girlfriend, remind me of Leon Rodez? Oh wait that's right, Alix Spezia used to your girlfriend, until you turned on her for a title you don't even have anymore. But that was a year ago, who cares? You've got a big Anglemania match coming up. Oh wait, you're not medically cleared to fight! At least you can still look forward to a big paycheck when you can wrestle. Oh wait, you're gonna be working for free because you missed Anglemania. My bad, dawg! I'm sure Alix could use a janitor or something at Miss Spezia Sweetie's. RODEZ Athirtynineyearoldvirginsayswhat? COACH What? RODEZ Exactly. Acting on the sharply stated orders of SWF Clusterfuck winner, Landon Maddix, Todd Cortez pounces upon the reigning oaoast tag team champions as they enter the ring. Unfortunately for Mister Cortez, his oh-so wonderful partner neglected to do the same, thus Todd is working under a dire numbers disadvantage. Though he could most likely handle two people the size of Ally and Krissy, he's not afforded the chance to prove this fact, thanks to Alix lowering the ropes and toppling his charging frame to the outside. She's follows the disposed Legend out of the ring, leaving Krista and Landon to officially start this contest.DING DING DING Maddix finally shows some competitive spirit, striking Krista in her stomach with a quick forearm. The move stuns Krista and allows Maddix to take a firm grip of her flowing blond hair. He leads her to the edge of the ring then roughly hurls her over the cables! His arms instantly raise in celebration at the easy elimination of the champion. But he finds out he celebrated much too soon, as Krista skins the cat and laces her tan legs around his skinny neck. The South Dakota native brings her into the ring, thinking he can smash her into the canvas with a modified powerbomb. But the idea encounters unmitigated failure, and she pulls him down with a spinning head scissors! Tossing strands of sun colored locks out of her face with one hand, she uses the other to bring Maddix off the mat. The world famous fitness queen then chucks Landon to a neutral corner where his back endures the typically gruesome meeting with the poorly padded ring posts. As he bemoans his bum luck, the former Guns N Roses dancer backflips towards him. Upon reaching the four time SWF tag team champ, she extends her body backwards and slams her elbow into the side of his face. Momentum alone carries the foxy mama lunging over the top rope and onto the ring apron. She watches Landon stumble out of the corner, trying and failing to get a bead on her with his watery eyes. He's soon exposed to her troubling whereabouts when he witnesses her soaring through the sky with a spring board body splash. Reacting at the last possible moment, the Madrid born cruiserweight leaps into a spinning wheel kick counter. But the super intelligent Krista is several steps ahead of him and extends those lovely legs into a dropkick that terrorizes his otherwise handsome face and pushes him to the mat. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” scream the audience. Landon jumps to his feet, clutching his aggrieved face. With his free arm he lobs a lariat towards his enemy. But the slow moving nature of the strike permits Miss California to duck beneath it. She returns fire with a lariat of her own, which Landon counters by ducking as well. He ends the short parade of clotheslines by grabbing both her arms between his in a rear underhook so that her back leans against his back. Yet that hold stays locked in for no more then five seconds before Krissy uses her amazing quickness to flip backwards and land in front of the former SWF world champion. Fueled by a feral rage, the former fitness model horsewhips her shoe into his gut. As Maddix stands stunned and confused she takes to the sky, morphing her body into a blur of red, white, and yellow motion. She uncoils her svelte figure to shoot a foot into Landon's face, bowling him over with a tornado kick. “YEAAAAAAAA!” KID bats Landon down with a second dropkick, but he amazingly rises to gets to his feet before she does. Suddenly finding herself within a vulnerable position, the blond bombshell is forced to think fast lest she be on the wrong side of a harsh beating. As the twenty three year old nears her, she tilts her body back and tangles her ankles around his head. Landon grabs onto her shins, certain that he can simply toss her aside. How wrong he is! Krista begins twirling both their bodies like a merry-go-ground, while her's floats in the air, and her arms are extended like wings. After several seconds of nausea inducing torment, Maddix is flung to the beige canvas when KID twists on her ankles. And how does the hottest thing in West LA celebrate her besting of La Cucaracha? By leaning over the ropes and putting on expression of alluring enticement to the wealth of fans snapping her picture with their camera phones. Perhaps this moment of arrogance was ill advised for the Revlon covergirl as Maddix has taken time to recover and is zipping towards her with a larait. Thanks to a timely warning of look out from an audience member, Krista turns around just in time to sweep bellow the oncoming strike. Now behind Landon she uses her advantageous position to her..uh..advantage and hooks onto his attacking arm with a half nelson. Maddix's face lights up with terror as the crowd roars it's approval for her fortcoming attack. Krissy quinches their thirst for violence, when she shoots her body forward and smashes his face into the rock hard floor with a half nelson face crusher. RODEZ I think Maddix is gonna need a pinch hitter, because he's striking out tonight against Krista. Is that the right term? Pinch hitter? Not a baseball man. I'm a hunting kind of guy. COLE I never would've thought that. What do you hunt? RODEZ The most dangerous game of all. Human beings. Despite the obvious pain he's under, Landon rises just as quickly as he feel, reading his arm to blast the fan favorite with a lariat. Yet, Krista defeats his plan by leaping forward and twisting her legs around his neck. She peels backwards to curse him with another hurricanarana, this time holding onto his legs for a pin. Referee Charlie Robinson scores the fall. ONE TWO Maddix shoots his shoulder off the mat, and soon his entire body follows. He's given no chance to mount any sort of attack however, as the golden haired babe flips him over with a deep arm drag. The former SWF world champion tries to scurry away from his rival, but an arm lock traps him in place. While Maddix tries in vain to squirm his way free, the audience claps for Krista's show of technique. Krista wrenches and cranks on his wounded limb, humming the theme song to the hit TV show M*A*S*H for no real apparent reason. Maddix, a firm believer that M*A*S*H was supremely overrated, drags his carcass to his feet to strike Krista down for her poor taste in classic television. However Krista prevents any harm from befalling her by turning her armlock into a simple arm wrench. While Maddix whines in frustration, Krista glides the pair over towards Ally. She extends her Adidas snow boot to Alix, and waits for a tag. Unfortunately Alix isn't able to comprehend the use of the foot instead of the hand for a tag. “Gross! I don't have a foot fetish! Ewww!” Alix snaps in revulsion. “Shut up and tag me, dummy” Krista screams, blood pressure soaring so high it could reach the moon. So Alix tags in Krista and enters the ring to a massive pop from the capacity crowd. The girls pair up on Huron's favorite son, each taking an arm and thrusting him to the ropes. Cortez tries for a blind tag, but his movement is far too slow, and Maddix is locked into a one way collision course with the oaoast tag team champions. They each smash a pair of elbows into his midsection. Not the most dangerous of moves, but damaging enough that they're able to snapmare him to the ground. His gaze peers towards the ceiling, catching the scoreboard, lights, rafters, banners. What it doesn't see is Chicks Over Dicks. That's because the California girls have taken off to opposite directions towards the ring ropes. As they near their fallen foe, they act in unison each cartwheeling to the detested grappler. Krista extends her body into a 450 splash, while Alix rotates her's through a shooting star press. Their landing is gruesome and painful for poor Landon who hollers out in pain. But for the audience, it's just another reason to chant “C-O-D! C-O-D!” Ally and Krista celebrate their triumph by becoming the world's cutest Led Zepplin cover band, and rocking out to Stairway to Heaven. Alix takes on the role of Jimmy Page, slamming on the air guitar, while Krista, the one who has a voice not akin to nails on a chalkboard, plays Robert Plant, belting symphonic vocals. RODEZ(singing) Aaaaaaand she's buyyyying a stairway to heaven. COACH You weren't even alive when that song was released. As Krista scurries out of the ring, her “bandmate” hooks Maddix's leg for the pinfall. Robinson administers the count. UNO DOS But Maddix pops his arm off the mat, ending the pinfall. The self proclaimed savior of the oaoast leaps to his feet, sick of being dropkicked and hurricanraned, and ready to tag his ally, Todd Cortez into the fray. However he can scarcely take a single step towards Cortez before Alix whips him overhead with an arm drag. Using some technical wrestling know-how, Landon tries to shift her downwards after he hits the mat himself. But the adorable heroine places her hand against the floor and springs away from her vexed rival. Unfortunately she puts herself right near Megan's location, and the short haired blond has little qualms with reaching into the squared circle and tripping Alix to the canvas. The audience is livid with the display of poor sportwomanship and taunt Megan with chants of “MEGAN DOES CREAMPIES” and if you don't know what a creampie is, oh man are you the luckiest person ever. COLE Leon would you mind if I got your opinion on Theodore Moneymaker and The Enterprise? RODEZ I don't like to put beef on the streets, OG, and I've never had to personally deal with Moneymaker or Mackenzie, but I know Ned, Simon and I hate me some Christian Wright. Behind all their money and sophistication lies a bunch of thuggish brutes, and I'd never want myself or anyone I know to have to deal with them. I'm not an angry guy, but the blood gets to boilin' when I think about 'em. Ally heads to her feet, eager to serve a helping of punishment to the meddling valet. But Maddix denies the horny crowd their sought after cat fight, and topples Alix with a running dropkick. Perfectly satisfied with his lone offensive attack, he applies the tag to Todd Cortez. COACH Here comes your best buddy, Leon! RODEZ Yeah right. Last year around this time, I had everything going for me in the oaoast, I was in a title hunt I had loads of fans, and a good position in the company. Then Todd Cortez and crew came in and everything started to spiral into hell. They tried to destroy my life and leave me with nothing. They went far, but they didn't go far enough, because I've come back, and I'm gunning for Cortez. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” sing the onlookers. Cortez accosts The Hollywood Bad Girl, who's still feeling the ill affects of the dropkick, and sucks her into a tight front facelock. Moving in one fluid motion he flings her backwards and crushes her into the canvas with a snap suplex. Todd floats over and drapes his body across her's for a pinfall. Robinson applies the count... ONE TWO Alix kicks out well before the three, earning quite the pop from the sold out arena. Besieged with frustration over the escape, The Urban Legend mounts his rival and begins raining a downpour of closed fists into her face. He keeps drilling and drilling, until his blows gusher a gyeser of tortured screams from the helpless maiden. The fans are quick to jump on Todd's case, pelting him with a number of insults. Maddix tries his best to silence their profane mouthes, but is countered with a round of taunts of his own. Todd ignores the war of words between his partner and the audience and coils his arms around Alix's slender waist for standing head scissors. He foists her into the air, draping her lithe body across his broad shoulders in position for a dominator. That move would be infinitiley more preferable to the mode of attack Cortez actually executes. He charges across the ring, eyeing down a neutral corner, then bulldozes Alix's back into the callous ring post. A heart wrenching scream escapes her throat immediately upon impact, and salty tears fill her eyes. Krista is barely able to control herself, threatening Todd with every manner of violent act she can think of. The audience treats him none to kindly, booing his viscous attack. In fact the only two people who seem pleased with it are Landon and Megan. COACH Hahahah! If Todd does that to you, Rodez, I foresee another three or four months on the injured reserve. What do you say that, Lee-Lee? RODEZ I see what you're trying to do, Coach, you're trying to get me angry. Once again, I don't get angry, I get even. When I sneak into your hotel room tonight and put Nair on your pubic hair, you'll see evidence of this. And if Todd thinks he's going to put me out of action twice, then he's in for a whole bunch of painful surprises. With Alix impaled upon the ringpost, Cortez retreats to the center of the squared in order to gain a head of steam. Emitting a low growl, The Urban Legend rumbles towards The Hollywood Bad Girl. When he nears his rival he takes to the skies and impacts his knees into her stomach. Ally screams at the top of her lungs, as the aftermath of the strike sinks her quivering body to the mat. TC affords her little time to recover, however, and explodes a running body splash onto her ample chest. The move results in a pinfall, which is counted by C-Rob. ONE TWO A kickout comes shortly before the three, leading Cortez to damn Alix for her resiliency. The Urban Legend makes the tag with his left hand to Maddix, while his right takes a clump of Ally's hair and drags her to her feet. Cortez then drapes her horizontally across his shoulders, causing a dreadful buzz to emanate from the stands. The spectator's fears for Alix's safety turn out to be well founded; Landon leaps from a perch on the third cable and slices his leg through the culinary sensation's neck. Alix topples from Cortez's shoulders, and her head crunches into the canvas in a most gruesome fashion. The current SWF tag team champion, ushers his beltless partner out of the ring, so that he may defeat Alix by his lonesome. He signifies his moment of triumph (and the cash he's about to pocket as a result), by performing the infamous Moneymaker “money fingers”. It's a gesture that acquires it's fair share of heat from the staunchly pro COD crowd. COLE Do you think Todd knows that his partner has sold him out like a selfish rat? RODEZ Todd's mental and physical welfare isn't on my list of top concerns, for obvious reasons, but if we ever find Maddix being wheeled out of here in a bodybag we know who to point the finger at. Landon takes Alix by the arm and roughly drags her to her feet; he wrings the limb of the dazed diva so harshly that it snaps her out of her foggy haze, and forces her to rebel against his clutches. But his master plan is already set in motion, and a swift elbow to her midsection shows that he's unable to be stopped. Landon lifts his skinny leg over her arm, straddling it. She tries her damnedest to pull away but meets with zero success. He shoots his far leg upwards in a quick motion that's only stopped when his boot connects with her jaw. Upon impact she tumbles backwards to the mat, stricken with searing anguish. Her soft brown hair tangles with perspiration in front of her forehead, and a stinging mixture of tears and sweat roll down her cheeks. “¡Buenas Noches!” Landon bellows, announcing the name of the preceeding signature move. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” chants the crowd. Landon ignores the hatred for the time being and attempts another pin. ONE “One hundred thousand!” He screams, dollar signs all but flashing through his eyes. TWO “Two hundred thousand!” There will be no three or three hundred thousand, as Ally kicks out of the fall, drawing a sigh of relief from the audience as well as Krista. COACH Maddix was half a second away from a guaranteed world title match, a spot at Anglemania, and five hundred thousand dollars! RODEZ If he hadn't wasted time with that “¡Buenas Noches!” junk, he'd have a lot fatter wallet right about now. But if he finds himself off Anglemania and in the poor house, he can look back to that exact moment in time to see what put him there. Maddix rises to his feet, once again posturing his hand into the money fingers symbol. Yet this time he appears much less arrogant and self assured, almost as if he's starting to feel like his five hundred thousand dollars are floating in a toilet, waiting for someone to slam the flusher. But he brushes aside his misgivings and hammers Ally with a series of stomps, before lifting her up and shooting her towards the ropes. Upon her return, Maddix dips low and slides forward, causing her to trip onto his shoulders. Without so much as bothering to secure her properly, he dives backwards and crunches her through the canvas with a samoan drop. He leans backwards for a lackadaisical pinfall, lightly draping his arm along Alix's collarbone. The referee counts the fall, slamming has hand down next to Alix's whimpering face. ONE TWO But Ally gets her shoulder off the mat, drawing a huge cheer from the fans, and keeping Landon from his guaranteed world title shot for the time being. RODEZ His refusal to do something as simple as use a proper pinfall robbed him of five hundred thousand dollars. You'd think for half a mil and a guaranteed world title shot the guy would hook one of those, smooth, flawless, sexy, tantalizing, kissable....uh, sorry, got lost in my thoughts. COLE The SWF tag team champion has to move quickly if he wants the victory and all the prizes that come with it. La cucaican'tspellthatnickname, as if reading Cole's mind, targets a stiff stomp into the small of The Hollywood Bad Girl's back. A soft yelp is pulled from her pink lips, and Landon brings her to her feet by her lovely hair. Displaying the kind of excellent courtesy that can only be taught at a South Dakota, grammar school, Mister Maddix kindly introduces Miss Spezia to the nearest turnbuckle. As Alix screams in misery, and reaches out for a tag that's never coming, Maddix slashes his black boot against her spine. He then turns the oaoast tag team champion around so that she lies back first against the corner pads. On the outside a little girl screams pleas towards Landon, begging him not to harm her hero. But Landon has five hundred thousand good reasons to crush this girls' dream, thus he ignores her appeals for mercy. He thrusts a lariat into Alix's neck, leaving her hacking and wheezing like a asthma sufferer. Barley able to breathe, she's powerless to stop the Spanish born grappler as he picks her up and sits her atop the third turnbuckle. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Maddix positions himself upon the second rope, applying a front facelock when he's certain he's sufficiently balanced. Maddix begins arching backwards in order to pull The Hollywood Bad Girl off the ropes and end this stressing contest once and for all. Ally, however, hooks those legs Leon was obsessing over earlier underneath the top rope and holds on for dear life. Landon is unmoved by his rival's refusal to surrender and makes a second attempt for that superplex. Again the fan favorite remains planted on the top rope. Aggravated to no end, Maddix releases the hold and vents his frustration by slogging vulgarities at anyone who will listen. Unfortunately his timeout to curse out is paid with a heavy price, namely Alix shoving him off the second rope and onto the canvas bellow! Her grey eyes lock down upon her fallen foe, narrowing into sinister slits. With vengeance on her mind she rises to her tiny but deadly five foot eight vertical base. The audience lights up with wild anticipation for Alix's forthcoming attack. RODEZ Ally standing on the top rope, and I know from first hand experience, that is one girl who likes to get high. Alix sucks down a deep breath, then springs from her perch. The once busy world seems to decay into slow motion as she kicks her legs out, and scrunches her body into cannonball position. She falls forward with graceful lethality, her back flat, looking to land hard on the wounded body of the SWF tag team champion. She and the roaring audience are ready for her to nail her diving senton, knock the wind out of the annoying grappler, and pick up another successful title defense..... Unfortunately, Maddix moves. “BOOOOOOO!” sear the oaoast faithful. Alix lies on the mat a broken heap of bones, trying to alternately nurse her back and ribs. She writhes in supreme anguish, unable to do anything except convulse and weep. Krista urges her to mount some manner of attack, not so much as to protect the titles, but to preserve her own safety in face of these relentless hounds. COACH It looks like Maddix might be able to become the half million dollar man after all! But after that crash and burn Alix is going to need a rub down. Rodez, you blew your shot, chump, now the Coach gets to step up to the plate. RODEZ Be sure to sleep with one eye open, Coach. Positively spooked by that near defeat experience, Maddix decides he's had his share of Alix Spezia for the moment, and tags Todd Cortez back into the affair. The Urban Legend picks up where his associate left out, hammering Alix with a deadly array of stomps. He pauses to glare towards the referee who's demanding that he ease up on poor Alix. The battered champion takes the moments spat to stagger her to her feet. Cortez instantly eyes her rise and leaves Robinson alone to deal with his foe. He makes moves to lift her into his infamous Neckwrecker. The audience boos lustily, knowing full well the hold could end the contest all on it's own. But Alix's thrashes and flails against his clutches, refusing to be brought up for the devastating move. Thus, Todd is forced to resort to plan B. He clasps his hand around her neck and hauls her body into the air with great ease. He pauses for several moments, showcasing his beautiful victim to the wrathful fans; then pummels her with the Urban Assault (sitout chokeslam bomb). While the ring vibrates from the tremendous impact, Charlie Robinson counts the ensuing pinfall. ONE “We're rich! We're rich!” Landon bleats on the apron. TWO “Your new oaoast world champion....LANDON MADDIX!” He screams, visions of parades in his honor flowing down the streets of Huron, South Dakota and Madrid, Spain filling his mind. THREE! No, Alix kicks out, causing Landon to tailspin into a state of hysteria. He leaps up and down on the ring apron, screaming bloody murder over this perceived injustice. Even Megan is forced to look away in embarrassment at his lunatic behavior. Fortunately for the former SWF world champion, his partner remains a much more calming force. He grabs onto the waist of Alix's teeny, tiny booty shorts, and pulls her towards the center of the ring. He circles one arm around her neck, then attaches his around her head, fully applying the dreaded sleeper hold. The audience is kneely aware that this simple hold could be the death kneel of Chicks Over Dicks title reign, and takes up the rallying cry of “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” COACH This could be it! RODEZ Don't be crazy, Coach, give my girlfrie....I mean Alix some more credit then that. I remember times when I'd be beating her ass at Scrabble, and then BAM, all of sudden she throws out a word like caterwauling, triple word score, game over. Alix staggers to the ring cables, while Cortez tries to drag her to the canvas. But he quickly comes to realize merely pushing the feisty lass down won't do the trick, and tries to fall backwards in order to snare her into an inescapable body scissors. Alix makes a frantic bid for the tope rope, using it's superior strength to prevent Todd from sucking her into the depths of submission hell. But, Cortez is unyielding and stubbornly pursues his effort. But The Hollywood Bad Girl's continued resistance provides him little hope that he'll have any success, and thus, Cortez is forced to abandon all efforts and simply pull her towards the center of the ring- Unfortunately for him, the bubbly babe uses a supernatural burst of energy to sprint their bodies towards the turnbuckle. The crowd's chants of “ALIX!” are cranked up in volume as their favorite lady runs up the cornerpost. She touches the bottom one, then elevates to the second, using it a launching pad to vault off the top with a picture perfect back flip! White fireworks of camera flashes dance across the stands, as Ally Cat soars through the sky, totally free of Cortez' clutches. Upon landing, she wastes little time in making the most of her freedom and applies the long awaited tag to Miss California, Krista Isadora Duncan. The audience erupts with blaring cheers, sending tremors of sound pumping through every nook and cranny of the arena. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” RODEZ Yikes, I hope Krissy remembers to leave some of Cortez for me. COLE I didn't know you were allowed to call her Krissy. RODEZ Yeaaaah, just keep that one between us girls. Ever the bold one, Todd meets Krista head on, not at all intimidated by her resume as three time tag team champion. Unfortunately his dauntless attitude does little to help him survive the wrath of the crazed fitness queen and she pumps a right jab into his chin. A left comes grazing across his cheek, preceeding a right that strikes expertly onto his left eye. Left partially blinded and confused, The Urban Legend is reduced to an Urban also-ran and stumbles to and fro like a drunk after happy hour. Krista takes his moment's misery as the perfect time to admire her unmatched beauty. She pulls a compact mirror from her top, then flips it open to admire her traffic stopping looks. Finally she plants a kiss onto her angelic reflection, then chucks the mirror into the stands where the frenzied audience battles for ownership. Miss California then turns her attention back towards Todd and plants him on the mat with a leg lariat! While he fights a losing battle to stand up and carry on the fight, his enemy carts herself to the ropes. But instead of running back like any normal person would, Krista decides to further belittle poor Cortez, by salsa dancing towards him. Her curvaceous hips gyrate in steamy allurement, while her arms wiggle through a pattern of mesmerizing euphoria. Unfortunately for Todd the end result of the taunting is far less sexy, as Krista drives the point of her knee into his forehead. While the audience salutes her seductive show, she hooks Todd's leg for a pin. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But Maddix is there with an elbow drop to save his partner and his chance of becoming a future world champion. The crowd is none to thrilled with Landon's actions and slanders him with chants of, “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” “I do no such thing!” He snaps back, genuinely offended by their charge. He refocuses his attention on Krista, eyeing her with his beady orbs as she begins to rise to her feet. He pounces on her with a front facelock before she can make any sudden movements, then drifts her towards the sky with a vertical suplex. Krista, however, shimmies her body through his grasp, and manages to twist around so that her back is pointed towards his face. Before Landon knows what's what, she dives forward, collaring her arm around his neck, then sweetly impacting his head onto her shoulder with a stunner. Yet the crowd popping counter fails to floor the two time Clusterfuck winner and he roars towards her with a lariat. With the grace of an acrobrat, she leans back and plucks her boot into the sky with a capoeria inspired kick. The toe of the shoe slices into his chin with perfect aim; Maddix is dropped to canvas before he even knows that he's been hit. “KRISTA! KRISTA!” COACH Forget out of the park! That one knocked, Landon clear out of the state! Now entering the game in relief for his overwhelmed “friend”, is Todd Cortez. The Urban Legend hooks Krista into a rear waistlock then lifts her backwards to drop her into a bridged German Suplex! The count is made... ONE TWO Krissy kicks out, earning a massive cheer from the fans. Cortez directs a disbelieving glare at Robinson, holding up three trembling fingers. C-note holds up two, and even as an outraged Urban Legend slaps his hands together three times, Robinson fails to budge. Unable to convince the referee of his rightness, Cortez is required to do further damage to Krista in order to secure victory. He scrapes her body off the mat, then places into a standing fireman's carry. His desire is to cause even more damage to her neck with a death valley driver. But this is wish that will forever remain unfulfilled thanks to Miss California slipping out of his hold and landing on her feet. A swift kick to his midsection doubles the former SWF tag team champion over, and allows the viscous vixen to pull him down with a sunset flip! But Todd Cortez rolls through the pinning situation, and it is Krista who is in severe danger of losing this match! ONE TWO Krista escapes the pinfall in the nick of time!“YEAAAAAAA!” COLE That was too close! Maddix has recuperated from his earlier defeat well enough to greet Krista with a pair of forearm smashes when she rises. Having softened her up enough with those strikes, he moves on to more catastrophic moves, namely the deathly Go 2 Sleep. Unlike his comrade in arms, however, Maddix can't even lift Krista into the fireman's carry position, thanks to her troubling tug on his hair. He demands that she let him go free, a request that she happily obliges, but only does so in order to clamp him down with an inverted facelock. Landon has zero wish to figure out what terrible attack has formed within his foe's twisted mind, and shoots a knee towards her head. The strike impacts with stunning percesion, and breaks the hold immediately upon arrival. Free from Kris' grasp, LM puts her into a front facelock, then grabs onto her bare right leg. He lifts her up, then brings her right back down into the simple yet effective bridged fisherman's suplex. Robinson counts the fall..... ONE TWO “Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!” Alix screams as she dives onto Landon to break up the pinfall. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” shout the audience. The strident interference jolts Maddix to his feet, where his menacing glare looks onto the woman who's kept him from his fortune. Unfortunately a nasty stare is all he's capable of hitting Alix with, as the ditzy diva tucks her head between his elbow, and locks her arms around his waist for the Northern Lights suplex. This time Ally adds a unique twist to the otherwise blasee hold, taking both competitors into the sky with a majestic backflip! The wonderful display of agility gleans a rousing ovation from the spectators and a whimper of distress by Maddix. Spurred on by the fan appreciation, and the moaning of her beleaguered rival, Ally decides that twice is just as nice and efforts a repeat of the same move. Maddix to go along with her plan and counters the hold with a basic DDT!“BOOOOOO” Why is the audience booing? Is it because Maddix managed to counter their heroine? Is it because Megan has strangely made her way onto the ring apron to distract Robinson? Or is it because one half of the Anderson Cup champions, Christian Wright, is charging down the entry aisle, ubiquitous briefcase in tow. Though the anger is most likely a combination of all three issues, Wright's unwanted presence is the most troubling concern for the millions of COD fans world wide. RODEZ (standing up, almost as if he's going to prevent Wright from interfering) What's poindexter got on this? COACH Poindexter? The man is a financial guru, he could buy and sell you twenty times over. Have some respect for a modern day Rockefeller! RODEZ Hey, ashy skull, mind your mouth. When Wright nears the squared circle he tosses the brief case over the ropes, watching with delighted exhilaration as it lands sweetly in the hands of it's intended target Landon Maddix! A contorted evil grin corrupts Landon's face, as he views this simple case as the profound key to unlocking a treasure chest of riches and glory. His heart racing, his mind envisioning a high profile Anglemania match, Landon turns around to vanquish the COD members with his new found weapon.CRAAAAAAACK!YEAAAAAAAA! Cheers? Did eighteen thousand people all of a sudden decide to become Landon Maddix loyalists? Not on your life! The pumping ovation is for Krista Isadora Duncan, who just bludgeoned her opponent with her baseball bat, knocking his chances at fortune into the upper deck COLE Eat your heart out Vladimir Guerrero! With Wright's normally dark skin turned a shade of milky white and his body on the verge of fainting, Krista hooks her KO'ed rival's leg for the pivotal pinfall. At the urging of eighteen thousand screaming wrestling nerds, Charles Robinson turns away from a distraught Megan to score the fall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Cortez returns to break up the pinfall! But Alix mows him down with a dropsault! CROWDTHREE! And with that final count so erupts a monstrous outpouring of cheers and applause for the oaoast's two favorite ladies, the victorious, Chicks Over Dicks. Were Maddix actually conscious to be aware of the misfortune that just swept over him, a shout of “NOOOO!” might drown all other noises. But, alas his comatose husk only sits in serene silence, unaware of the misery it will wake up to. Girlfriend returns to the audio forefront of the venue, as the legendary ring announcer rises to officially proclaim the winner. BUFFER Your winner and still oaoast world tag team champions....CHIIICKS OVEERRRR DIIICCCCKKS! Elsewhere Cortez, who has seemingly forgotten all about this loss, is leaning through the ropes lobbing vulgarities towards Leon Rodez. The Silky Smooth one simply directs a calm grin towards his enraged enemy, further angering The Urban Legend, who's itching for another fight. Back in the ring, Krista and Alix celebrate their victory in the most irresponsible way possible; they encourage front row audience members to “pitch” trash towards the ring, so Krista, still impersonating Vlad Guerreo, can blast the debris into the stands with her bat. Hello lawsuit! COLE Folks, a very exciting match and one with a great deal of repercussions. The Enterprise's scheme to purchase the tag titles, rather then compete for them at Anglemania, fails once more. But you can be sure Moneymaker and company are already on the look out for another team that can beat Chicks Over Dicks and grant their wish for easy tag title gold. Landon Maddix was promised the world, if he could deliver the belts to The Enterprise. But his mission went unaccomplished, and when it comes to Anglemania, he's on the outside looking in. RODEZ And he's out a guaranteed world title shot, and half a million dollars. Would love to say I feel sorry for the guy, but that would be a lie, and Leon Rodez ain't no liar, he's a bad mother... COACH Shut yo mouth! RODEZ I'm just talking 'bout shaft. COACH We can dig it! RODEZ Damn right. COLE Well, thanks once again to Leon Rodez for joining us out here tonight. We hope to see you at Anglemania, kicking Todd Cortez' butt. RODEZ My desire to not have to spend the rest of the year living in a box thanks to not collecting a single paycheck feels the exact same. COLE We've got an X-Tournament quarterfinal match coming up next, so stay tuned! RODEZ X-Title? Memories. Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 "LIGHTNING CREW!" The opening to "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. The crowd starts booing. The AngleTron lights up with a picture of The Bone Thug posing in front of a grey background that has the words THE BONE THUG written on the right in big white blocky letters, and a Puerto Rican flag underneath that. Finally, the cresendo hits, and a lightning bolt hits the entrance stage as "No Chance In Hell" starts playing. *No chance (No chance) That's what ya got! (Ha, ha! Yeah.) We're up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* The entrance doors slide open, and through the smoke come The Bone Thug and Vitamin X. The crowd boos some more. Bone Thug is wearing a Puerto Rican flag bandana over his mouth and a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, so the only thing you see is his eyes. Vitamin X, wearing a black dress shirt, black dress pants, black dress shoes, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, and a gold chain around his neck, fires Bone Thug up by yelling his name over and over again. The two Lightning Crew members walk to the ring. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute TV time limit. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by the Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew, Vitamin X! From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 232 lbs. Representing The Lightning Crew. He...is...THEEEEEEEEEE BOOOONNNNNEEEEE TTHHHUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! *But will find their place in line (In line) But tie a string around your finger now boy cuz Cuz it's just a matter of time! Cuz you've got...NO CHANCE! (You've got no chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You've got...NO CHANCE! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!) NO CHANCE IN HELL! (No chance in hell) You've got...NO CHANCE! (Got no chance) NO CHANCE IN HELL! You've got...NO CHANCE! (No chance!) NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!!!* The Bone Thug continues his walk to the ring. The camera cuts to Bone Thug's opponent. He is a 5'7" man with long blonde hair and wearing green short tights, black elbow pads, white taped wrists, black knee pads, and white boots. He is also wearing a sleeveless denim jacket. BUFFER And his opponent. From Omaha, Nebraska. Weighing in at 221 lbs. SAMUELLLLLLL JOHHHHNNNSSSTTTOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Samuel Johnstone barely gets a pop. COLE P.R.'s cousin direct from San Juan, Puerto Rico, The Bone Thug, makes his wrestling debut tonight on HeldDOWN~! And he appears to be in a fighting mood! COACH The Bone Thug is ALWAYS in a fighting mood! He's not here to make friends. He's here to lay the smackdown on some poor schmoe! That's what PRL wants him to do after all. COLE PRL brought Bone Thug into the OAOAST so that he can dominate the X-Division. Well, Bone Thug begins his mission tonight, taking on Samuel Johnstone, a veteran from Nebraska. The Bone Thug and Vitamin X climb the ring steps. The Bone Thug enters the ring...and immediatley attacks Samuel Johnstone! COLE Hey! What the--? The Bone Thug doesn't even allow Samuel Johnstone to take off his denim jacket! He pounces the poor guy as referee Mickey Jay calls for the bell. *DING DING DING*THE BONE THUG (with Vitamin X) vs. SAMUEL JOHNSTONE The Bone Thug continues pouncing on Samuel Johnstone even after the bell rang. Bone Thug picks Samuel Johnstone up and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes, following up with a nice dropkick! Bone Thug goes for the cover. It gets two. COLE And Bone Thug off to a running start here in this match-up! VITAMIN X That's right, The Bone Thug is in control, just like I was in control of Caboose last week! COLE You had some help to take out Caboose last week, though. VITAMIN X I still took care of him and that's all that matters! And if Caboose wants some more of me, then he can just bring his carcass into this arena tonight, because I'm ready for him! Bone Thug gets right back up and starts stomping on Johnstone. Thug picks Johnstone up and gives him a gutwrench suplex! Bone Thug then drags Johnstone by his right arm all the way to a turnbuckle corner. The Bone Thug exits the ring and then climbs the top rope. VX He's going up! He's going up! Watch out gentlemen, The Bone Thug's gonna soar! HA! HA! HA! The Bone Thug pulls down the Puerto Rican flag bandana around his mouth, and sneers at the crowd. He jumps off the top rope, doing a senton onto Samuel Johnstone! VX OH YEAH BABY~! A senton! That got him good! COLE Here's the cover! 1...2....KICK OUT! The Bone Thug grabs Samuel Johnstone by his hair and picks him up. Thug starts attacking Johnstone with kicks all over his body! The camera cuts to Vitamin X approving this. VX That's it! That's it! The Bone Thug whips Samuel Johnstone into the ropes, following with a belly-to-belly suplex! VX BOO-YAH~! The Bone Thug follows that up with a knee drop as a "P.R. SUCKS!" chant gets started by the crowd. Bone Thug goes for the cover. It gets two. COACH Bone Thug is doing pretty good in his first match in the OAOAST. VITAMIN X Bone Thug is phenemonal. He's ready for the big time, I know he is! He's on his way up, Coachman. You're looking at a future hall-of-famer right there! COLE Aren't you speaking too much too soon? VX Michael Cole, please shut up before I put my foot in your mouth. COACH HA HA! Cole got dissed! The Bone Thug continues, his expression not changing on his face. Bone Thug picks a dazed Samuel Johnstone up and starts punching him in the face repeatedly. Thug then whips Samuel Johnstone into a turnbuckle HARD! Bone Thug then jogs over to the opposite corner. VITAMIN X Oh yeah! Oh yeah! He's going for it! This is one of his signature spots! The Bone Thug runs in place, and then rushes forward, preparing to inflict much harm on the jobber. *BAM!* TURNBUCKLE YAKUZA KICK~!!!! COLE OH MY~! VX Oh my is right, Cole! That move just dislocated that jabroni's jaw! You FELT that impact didn't ya! OH YEAH! Bone Thug ROCKS! COACH Bone Thug sure impresses me! Samuel Johnstone's eyes are glazed over. The Bone Thug grabs his balls and yells out, "VIVA LA RAZA!" Samuel Johnstone stumbles out from the turnbuckle, right into a hurricarana from Bone Thug! Bone Thug hammers Johnstone down on the mat. Bone Thug picks Samuel Johnstone by his hair once again and stands him up. Johnstone is dizzy, barely able to stand. The Bone Thug exits the ring. VITAMIN X Here it comes! This is the end! The Bone Thug leaps onto the top ring rope, and then springboards off of it. going for a moonsault. But instead of a moonsault, he lands on his feet, and in one swift motion, grabs, Samuel Johnstone and PLANTS him with a reverse DDT! VITAMIN X YEAH! HA HA! He got it! That's the Vete a la mierda Motherfucker! COLE What does that mean? VX F(Bleep) You Mother(Bleep)er. COLE Oh. The Bone Thug covers Samuel Johnstone, hooking his left leg. Bone Thug's expression hasn't changed either. Referee Mickey Jay counts. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (3:08) COLE And The Bone Thug wins in his debut! VX YES! HA HA HA! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. The Bone Thug gets up. Mickey Jay goes to raise his hands, but Bone Thug moves away from him. Samuel Johnstone lies on the mat, holding his head. BUFFER Here is your winner...THEEEEEEEEEEEE BOOOONNNNNEEEEE TTHHHUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! COLE The Bone Thug with an impressive win in his first match in the OAOAST! And I'm sure Tha Puerto Rican hopes he'll be in the OAOAST for years to come! COACH I hope so, too! This guy has potential! Vitamin X puts his headset down and enters the ring. He congradulates Bone Thug on his victory. VX shakes Bone Thug's right hand, and then raises it, garnering more boos. Vitamin X laughs manically, while The Bone Thug just stares angrily at the crowd. VX gloats over what Bone Thug just did. COLE The Bone Thug has some dangerous moves in his aresenal. He has that turnbuckle Yakuza Kick, and also that Asai DDT whose name we can't say on TV. Those moves might just make The Bone Thug into the X-Division threat P.R. wants him to be! COACH The Bone Thug is ready to go thug wild all over the X-Division! COLE Thug wild? COACH Yeah! Thug wild! I'm street, yup! COLE Whatever, Coach. Whatever. Vitamin X and The Bone Thug stay in the ring while Mickey Jay helps Samuel Johnstone out of the ring. Suddenly, the crowd starts cheering as from the crowd comes CABOOSE! COLE Caboose is here! Caboose is back on HeldDOWN~! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. The OAOAST Original enters the ring and grabs Vitamin X by his hair! Prince Vitamin freaks out and quickly escapes from Caboose's grasp! The Bone Thug tries to come to The X-Man's aid, but Caboose strikes the newest Lightning Crew member with the cricket bat! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Caboose drops the bat, and grabs Vitamin X, and starts punching the Financial Consultant of The Lightning Crew in the face again and again to the crowd's delight! COLE Caboose is striking Vitamin X in retaliation for what happened last week! COACH AAAH! How could he do this to The X-Man? COLE Hey, The X-Man brought this on himself! He asked for this! Caboose continues attacking Vitamin X! The Bone Thug punches Caboose from behind, which gets doesn't do much damage, but does get his attention. So, Caboose starts punching The Bone Thug! However, that allows Vitamin X to attack Caboose, knocking him down to the mat with a double axehandle! Vitamin X stomps on Caboose, and The Bone Thug follows him, and together, the two Lightning Crew members put the boots to Caboose! The crowd boos! COACH Yeah! Get him, X! Get him! Caboose is at the mercy of Vitamin X and The Bone Thug! Vitamin X taunts the OAOAST legend in between kicks to the face and the back! COLE Caboose is being manhandled once again! The 2-on-1 disadvantage is too much for him! COACH He really has lost it, hasn't he? COLE Will you stop!? Soon, Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua enter the ring. They too join in on the beatdown on Caboose. The crowd boos louder as Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua also lay in their boots on the weakened OAOAST Original! COLE And now 4-on-1! Damnit! This is enough! Somebody stop this! COACH Not now, Mikey! I am enjoying every minute of this! COLE Is this payback for every comment Caboose has made about you? COACH Yes. Thomas Rodriguez joins his stablemates, and even he gets some shots in on Caboose. A LOUD "P.R. SUCKS!" chant starts up. Vitamin X tells the other LC members to back off...so that he can kick Caboose square in the stomach! COACH He got him in his fat, out of shape, gut! COLE Coach, that's a lie and you know it! Caboose is still in great shape! COACH Gay. The X-Man dares Caboose to get up. He stomps on Caboose when he doesn't get up. COLE Enough is enough! Security? Where's security? VX picks Caboose up. He rolls up his sleeves so that he can hit Caboose in the face with some forearm shots! The forearm shots cause Caboose to collapse onto the mat! VX COME ON! PICK HIM UP! Caboose is beaten, but that's STILL not enough for The Lightning Crew! Cuban Wall and The Bone Thug pick Caboose right back up and hold him in place, so that Vitamin X can walk with a swagger right up to him. VX Yeah! YOU WANT SOME!? YOU WANT SOME!? YOU'RE NOT BETTER THAN ME! YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN ME! Vitamin X grabs Caboose and SLAPS him across the face! He then does it again for good measure! VX I am THAT much better than YOU! Caboose's eyes are glazed over. Vitamin X starts punching Caboose again and again, further hurting the already severly weakened former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! COLE Oh come on now! He's got your message, X! You don't need to do this anymore! COACH He's not going to stop until Caboose is dead, Cole. COLE Oh dear God, no! Cuban Wall and The Bone Thug let Caboose fall to the mat. Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua drag Caboose into the centre of the ring. Vitamin X then points to Cuban Wall, and motions him to do something. Cuban Wall runs to the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, runs towards Caboose, jumps up, and crashes down onto Caboose's body with The Lightning Crew Splash! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" VITAMIN X YEAH BABY~! YEAH! COLE Lightning Crew Splash! The Lightning Crew Splash on Caboose! And Caboose is out like a light! COACH All right, Vitamin X! Way to go! Way to teach that punk a lesson! The 5 Lightning Crew members celebrate what they've just done. They all high five each other. Caboose lies on the mat. The lights are on, but nobody's home. The Lightning Crew all stand in the center of the ring and raise their hands together in victory. They all smile evilly. COLE For the second week in a row, The Lightning Crew has left Caboose for dead! Vitamin X is continuing on in his mission to end Caboose's comeback through hell or highwater! COACH Hey, he asked for it! Like Vitamin X said last week, anything that happens to Caboose from now on will be his own fault! COLE Vitamin X's war with Caboose continues, with another victory for The X-Man! Vitamin X walks over to Caboose and spits in his face! VX Bitch. The Bone Thug shouts, "ARRIBA LA RAZA~!" at Caboose. Cuban Wall smirks, and Mr. Boricua kicks him in the chest again! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts up again. Vitamin X, The Bone Thug, Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, and Thomas Rodriguez gloat some more over what they've done. Caboose is still lying on the mat, motionless as the crowd boos. COACH Nice job by The Lightning Crew! They took out Caboose like he was nothing! I think Caboose should take this as a sign that he's a hasbeen and his time is up. COLE I don't think Caboose is going to go out quietly. If anything, this may have just given him more motivation to continue his comeback! He won't stop until he gets a piece of Vitamin X fair and square! COACH You know, I hope that match happens someday, so that Vitamin X can finish off Caboose once and for all! Look at him! Caboose is dead, brother! He's not the same man he used to be! Vitamin X laughs at Caboose as he leaves the ring. Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, and Thomas Rodriguez follow him. COLE I seriously don't believe Caboose is finished. I STILL believe he's got some left in the tank! COACH Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep believing that, Cole! Vitamin X is the wave of the future, and he just proved it tonight! COLE He won't prove it until he gets Caboose in the squared circle. COACH Which will happen soon, just you wait! COLE I hope so. And I'm sure Caboose hopes that happens soon, too. COACH It will. It will! The five Lightning Crew members walk up the entrance ramp, smiling evilly over what they've just done. Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, and Thomas Rodriguez raise their hands in victory. Caboose is still lying in the ring, but he is moving his arms. The crowd boos as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds continues playing. We cut to the trainer's room where an OAOAST medic is examining a now conscious James Wolfenstein as he sits on the examination table, his head bandaged. Anglesault enters the room. AS How is he? WOLFENSTEIN (sounding like he's slightly drunk) I'm fine. I've been telling everyone that's been asking me that I'm fine. AS Doc? MEDIC Well, he's suffered some head trauma, but he keeps insisting that he can wrestle. I'd like to take him to the hospital to run some more tests.... WOLFENSTEIN Screw the hospital! I got a match tonight and I'm going to that ring. Wolfenstein stands quickly, but that messes with his equilibrium and causes him to stumble, but AS and the medic steady him. AS James, you really should get that checked out. You might have a concussion. WOLFENSTEIN I've had concussions before. This is just a headache. The only medicine I need is to beat the guy's face in that did this to me. AS Did you see who did it? WOLFENSTEIN Nah, but I know it's that punk Riggs. He's been waiting all week to get a piece of me. Our match is next right? Then let me go to the ring and take care of that, then you can give me all the tests that you want. AS Doc? MEDIC I don't recommend it. AS takes a moment to think things over. AS Go. But take care of yourself. I'm telling the referee to stop the match at the first sign it looks like you are in trouble. WOLFENSTEIN Heh. That's not the first time I've heard someone say that. 'Course, they always end up stopping it for the other guy. James exits the training room as the camera focuses on AS, his face showing the thought that is running through his head right now: "Did I make the right decision?" The camera follows as Anglesault exits the room and heads back to his office. He pauses and stands deep in thought for a second, leaning back against a nearby wall. After a deep breath, he then continues walking down the hall. He clearly wasn't paying enough attention to his surroundings. From the shadows, a man hops out and wraps a garrot wire around the throat of the legendary Anglesault! And that man is the Heavyweight Champion Drek Stone! The crowd screams in unison as Drek rolls the wire from both sides around his fists and clenches the rope tighter around the neck of the OAOAST President! Anglesault gasps frantically for breath as Drek continues to constrict his air flow. With the color starting to quickly flush from Anglesault's cheeks, Drek releases his grip and watches the boss helplessly fall to his knees. Trembling, Anglesault turns to look at his assailant, choking as he tries to speak. ANGLESAULT ...who...who do you think...you... With an angry scowl, Drek lifts his boot up and violently punts his foot against Anglesault's right temple, sending the legend straight down to the cold concrete floor. DREK Shut your mouth! You're just lucky I decided not to kill you! Anglesault struggles to get up as quickly as possible, but Drek tightly wraps his hand around the legendary superstar's throat and forces him back down to the floor. From there, Drek uses his other fist to callously fire a series of nasty punches to Anglesault's defenseless face. Bouncing one shot off Anglesault's forehead, and landing the other one right across the bridge of his nose, Drek grins with each successive shot. DREK What's the matter? You don't have anything left to say, do you?! With one dead-on shot, the sound of Anglesault's nose snapping can be clearly heard. DREK YOU'RE NOT THE BIG BRAVE MAN YOU WERE LAST WEEK, ARE YOU?! Anglesault tries throwing up his hands to cover his now bloody nose, but Drek takes his right boot and presses it tightly against his victim's still-wounded throat. DREK So you still think Zack Malibu is your knight in shining armor?! You still think he's going to save the day?! Ignoring Anglesault's exhausted groans, Drek Stone picks the former superstar up by his hair...and VICIOUSLY rams his face against a nearby wall before the boss could even fully stand! DREK When are you going to realize that Zack Malibu doesn't care about ANYBODY?! He doesn't care about you! He doesn't care about Sly Sommers! It's all an act! It was ALWAYS an act! With blood now gushing from Anglesault's swollen lips, Drek disgracefully slaps the chairman's face, leaving a noticeable handprint on his victim's cheek. DREK If Zack cared about you, he'd be here to save you right now! But he's NOT here, Anglesault! Face it...I'm the best friend you've got because I'm the only one here who will show you the truth! *SLAP* DREK ZACK *SLAP* DREK DOESN'T *SLAP* DREK CARE *SLAP* DREK ABOUT *SLAP* DREK ANYBODY! With Anglesault groaning and mumbling lightly to himself, the Houston crowd has been hushed into silence as they have never seen this legend look in such terrible condition. Standing over his victim, Drek lifts up his shirt...to reveal he was concealing a gun! Reverting back to the tricks that worked against Tha Puerto Rican five months ago. He pulls the revolver from his waistline, grips it in his right hand, and nonchalantly holds it over a completely vulnerable Anglesault. DREK I wanted to go out there tonight and confront Zack Malibu. You have no idea. I really had every intention to. But I'm not ready. That man has taken everything away from me. Do you realize that? He's taken away my fans. Taken away my friends. Everything that has meant a DAMN to me, he has taken away. Well, now, it really is time for ZACK to learn how to cope with missing the things in life he cares about. Anglesault, you've turned into a pawn of something that is much bigger than you. And it's a shame. It's a shame that, because of my hate for Zack Malibu, you've turned into little more than a symbolic token. But I guess that's the way it is. Anglesault tries shouting for help but his vocal chords just ain't doing the trick at this point. DREK Isn't it funny, Sault? Zack and I have both threatened to use a gun at different points but have never actually gone through with it. Zack held a pistol to Bruce Blank's head but wasn't able to pull the trigger. I had Puerto Rican Lightning staring down the barrel of a gun...and then showed I never actually had any bullets in it. The only two people to go to such extremes has been Zack Malibu and myself. I mean, it would look like the two of us aren't so different after all, you know? Drek lightly chuckles to himself. DREK But see, I'm willing to do the things Zack won't do. With that, Drek pulls the trigger... *BAM* ...and shoots a lead bullet right through the left kneecap of Anglesault! "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" The Chairman SCREAMS in agony as the frightening sound of the gunshot echoes throughout the empty hallway. A light puff of smoke can even be seen seeping from the barrel immediately after the bullet pierces Anglesault's skin. The blood already begins seeping through Sault's grey khakis as he frantically yells for somebody to help him. DREK That's what we call mobster style. With that, Drek Stone simply drops the gun at the place of the crime scene and strolls away with his hands in his pockets. All Anglesault can do now is painfully grasp his knee, waiting for somebody...anybody...to help him.Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 We cut backstage quickly to find Zack Malibu kneeling beside his fallen mentor. The paramedics are scrambling to load Anglesault onto a stretcher while Zack is beside himself, wiping off the sweat that has collected on his forehead. ZACK Who did this to you?! Tell me who did this to you! Groaning loudly, Anglesault takes a deep breath as one paramedic tightly wraps his left kneecap with gauze tape, trying to minimize the searing pain he's enduring right now. ANGLESAULT You know who did this. ZACK ...he didn't. ANGLESAULT Zack... As the paramedics lift the stretcher and prepare to load Anglesault into the ambulance, he attempts to grin for Zack, but I mean...the man was just shot in the leg, you know. ANGLESAULT Be careful...but don't do anything I wouldn't do. With that, Anglesault is loaded into the ambulance as Zack silently stares at the red and white sirens blaring on the roof of the vehicle. The magnitude of what has happened tonight hasn't quite hit him yet. Or has it? Zack tightly clenches his fist. Snarls quietly to himself. And he turns and CRACKS the windshield of a nearby Ford Thunderbird with a damn hard punch. "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The Houston crowd gasps as Zack slowly looks down at his bloodied knuckles...and smiles scornfully to himself. With that, he goes stomping off to find his arch-enemy. Zack Malibu is a man on a warpath. (Back to the arena) *DING DING DING*Dani California comes over the PA as James Riggs and Staci walk through the entrance doors. However, there is no strutting, no sexy walking, no cocky smirks to the crowd. Tonight, the OAOAST's 3rd ranked "Power Couple" is angry. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this is your HeldDOWN MAIN EVENT of the evening. Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Staci. He hails from Torrence, California and weighs in at two hundred and thirty-two pounds. This is JAAAAAAAAAAMESSS RRRRRRRIIIIIIGGGSSSSSSS!!!!! Staci begins to walk up the steps for their special entrance, but James stops her and wags his finger to the crowd, drawing probably the most heel heat he has ever had in his career. She removes his coat and glasses on the floor before Riggs rolls into the ring. COACH That's what happens when you make him mad, no Staci. Riggs sneers at the crowd as his music fades and is soon replaced by Move Bitch by Ludacris as James Wolfenstein walks through the doors to a big ovation from the crowd. Wolfenstein is also all-buisness as he stomps down the aisle. BUFFER And his opponent, from Dayton, Ohio, weighing in at two hun... Suddenly, Buffer is running for his life as Wolfenstein rushes the ring and is immediately met by Riggs, triggering a slugfest. Wolfenstein ducks a right hand, whirls around and levels Riggs with a clothesline, followed by another as he pops up. Wolfenstein backs Riggs into the corner and delivers a flurry of blows to the midsection and, when Riggs doubles over to cover up, the upper back and neck. He sets Riggs up and whips him off, but Riggs reverses and tries to counter, but Wolfenstein pulls Riggs back into the original corner sternum-first. Riggs staggers back into a backdrop suplex and a cover. 1..... 2......but Riggs kicks out at two. "WOLF-EN-STEIN!" "WOLF-EN-STEIN!" "WOLF-EN-STEIN!" "WOLF-EN-STEIN!" James pulls Riggs up and shoots him off the ropes, trying a clothesline, but Riggs ducks underneath it, springboards off the middle rope and tries a bodypress, but Wolfenstein catches him and throws him back with a fallaway slam, the impact and torque sending Riggs rolling all the way to the outside where Staci immediately rushes over. Wolfenstein springs to his feet and thrusts his fist into the air. COLE James Wolfenstein is on FIRE right now! But suddenly he puts his hand to his head and stumbles back, falling into the ropes. COACH But look Cole! That head injury is starting to take effect! Staci points that same thing out to Riggs. He rolls back in as Wolfenstein is shaking his head, trying to clear the cobwebs as he looks out to ringside and sees three announce tables and three Coles and Coaches. Riggs crouches, waiting for an opportunity to strike. Wolfenstein groggily turns....and that's all the opportunity he needs as Riggs charges forward and drills him with a Rolling Koppou Kick! The impact knocks Wolfenstein through the ropes and smacking hard onto the mats on the outside, landing in much the same position that we saw him to start the show. COLE That kick! That devastating kick just knocked Wolfenstein clear out of the ring!! Riggs moves to go after him, but referee Nick Patrick has his instructions from Anglesault and holds him back, starting his count as he turns back. ONE..... TWO..... THREE..... No movement. COLE Hey, we may have a problem here. COACH I think he's out, Cole. This is bad. FOUR..... FIVE...... SIX..... Still no movement. Patrick exits the ring and kneels down next to Wolfenstein, asking him if he wants to continue. He asks that question three more times and, not getting an answer, calls for the bell. *DING DING* He calls over Buffer and confers with him for a minute. Buffer puts his microphone to his lips. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, referee Nick Patrick has called a stop to this match and declares the winner James Riggs!Dani California hits again as medics (joined by Anglesault) once again rush to Wolfenstein's aid. The camera catches AS repeatedly muttering the word "Dammit!" to himself as he hovers over Wolfenstein, staying back to let the professionals do their work. Riggs looks over the ropes with a look of concern, not reveling in getting revenge while ending Wolfenstein's undefeated streak at the same time like he should. COLE Folks, you hate to see something like this to end the show. COACH I don't mean to be my usual obnoxious self, but this is on the heads of Wolfenstein, that doctor and especially Anglesault. If a guy is hurt, you don't put him in a position to be hurt any further. The music is cut off and a silence falls over the crowd as a stretcher is wheeled out for Wolfenstein. COLE Unfortunately, we are out of time for this week. Check OAOAST.com as we will certainly bring you ANY news on James Wolfenstein's condition as soon as we can get it. For the Coach, I'm Michael Cole saying goodnight. Wolfenstein is loaded on the stretcher and the crowd applauds as it is raised and wheeled towards the ramp as we..... ....cut backstage one more time to find six policemen surrounding Drek Stone with solemn looks on their faces. They seem to be in a rush to get this situation over with before a crowd...or one particular man, maybe...can find them. DETECTIVE DAVID AKEROYD Drek Stone, I'm afraid we need to place you under arrest for your assault tonight against Mr. AngleSault... Drek suddenly interrupts the cop's speech with a delighted laugh. DREK STONE If that was actually his real name, that'd be hilarious. DETECTIVE This isn't a laughing matter, Mr. Stone. Until this matter can be investigated, we are placing you under arrest. Please place your hands behind your back immediately. With an unbelieving sigh, Drek calmly places his hands behind his back and allows one of the other cops to handcuff him. No mess. No fuss. Pleased with what he's done tonight, he won't struggle to avoid the consequences. DREK Gentlemen, I thought I was hunting a quail. I swear, I didn't know that was a person. I regret what happened so much that I'm pratically in tears, can't you see that? DETECTIVE AKEROYD You have the right to remain silent. DREK Yeah, I'll waive that right. This is a joke. I'll be out and strolling the streets by midnight. As the cops lead Drek Stone to their paddywagon, a big ruckus could be heard coming from the other side of the parking lot. The camera turns to see ZACK MALIBU storming into the room and immediately dashing towards the cuffed Heavyweight Champion. ZACK I'LL KILL YOU, DREK! I SWEAR I WILL! With rage in his eyes, Zack tries BARRELING into his AngleMania opponent...but is grabbed and restrained by four of the policemen just before he could do so! ZACK LET ME GO! I WANT THAT SON OF A BITCH! Zack forcefully tries shoving his away through the human barricade but the cops struggle to contain his uncontrollable anger. Even with the efforts of all four men though, Zack is coming dangerously close to breaking through their protective shield. ZACK YOU MADE THIS PERSONAL, DREK! YOU WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! Meanwhile, all Drek can do is stare with a bewildered smile as the detective tries ushering him into a car as quickly as possible. Drek asks him to hold on for just a second though as Zack continues to seethe, trying his best to push through the cops blocking him. DREK Yeah, just wait until I get my hands on you. With that, Drek rears his head back...and spits a loogie directly into Zack's face! With a passionate roar, Zack tries grabbing for the champion, hoping to at least get a finger on him. But he's too late. The door of the cop car slams shut. As the sirens blare, Drek smiles through the tinted window of the car door, staring at the man that is just dying for April 1st to finally get here. Cool. Cocky. Collected. Yet as the automobile begins to stroll up the ramp and to the street outside the arena, Zack refuses to relent in his attempt to break through his captivity and chase after the car. But he's not cool like Drek. He's pissed. He's not cocky like the Italian Stallion. He's outraged. And he's not collected like the Heavyweight Champion. 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