Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD AND 3D RENEE It is and loud and wild for OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I am Renee Young sitting beside America's most eligible bald bachelor who is from Kansas that works in the wrestling industry, Da Coach! And we are zooming down the road to AngleMania after a smoking hot SluttyMania! TONIGHT'S MAINEVENTKRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS THE FLEX TONIGHT! ***The Team of Extraordinary Gentlemen W/Molly Nerdly Vs King Landon Maddix and Northstar W/Ser Felix Sturtter*** RENEE So the big news is Teddy Buckworth and Simon Singleton will be in the Money In The Bank ladder match at AngleMania, along with King Landon and Northstar of course. And we'll give you a full rundown of that match after this tag team affair. Northstar and Simon wrestled a technical showing that impressed the crowd, and wound up with Northstar having the victory in that department. King Landon was eager to show off his own talent, but wasn't nearly as successful as Northstar. COACH Sometimes ya gotta leave it to your vassals. As King Landon smarted over his own failures, we saw Big Papa Thrust watching backstage, scouting his MITB foes. In the ring Northstar performed admirably, again showcasing his technical skills. But again King Landon unraveled Northstar's hard work with a shoddy performance. Yet The Kingdom won the match thanks to an O'Connor roll on Simon by Northtar. Winner: The Kingdom, via pinfall Post-match King Landon seemed resentful of Northstar's quality performance and wasn't for celebrating with him. But when Big Papa Thrust tried to jump King Landon and Northstar warded him off, King Landon's tune changed and he hailed Northstar as the finest member of his Kingdom. RENEE You can't predict the moods of The Mad King, he's got permanent male PMS! But anyway here's the run down for The Money In The Bank Ladder Match! MONEY IN THE BANK~! The Orange County Cobra Ned Blanchard Agent 009 Simon Singleton The Lonestar Gunslinger Baron Windels THE MAN Bohemoth The First One Ivar The Cunning The Freebird Oscar Friberg THE FLEX Bugatti Teddy Buckworth The Stellar Evolution Northstar The Mad King, King Landon Maddix The Missionary Man Big Papa Thrust The Bustle Junior Heavyweight Champion, Eggther Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Inside the interview lounge the party is rocking strong, but our focus is on Alix and Queen Esther with Sara Jean. SARA JEAN Hey, everybody, Sara Jean here with Alix Maria Spezia and her fairy god mother Queen Esther. We're getting closer and closer, Alix, to your big AngleMania match with Silver. ALIX A snitch nigga that's that shit I don't like! A fuck nigga that's that shit I don't like! Don't like! Don't like! I put D'Tective Russel in the same class as Silver. Bros, I've had porn tabs open in Firefox longer than Russel was the future of The Lakers! QUEEN ESTHER Did I hear the word horn used? Horn tabs? SARA JEAN Better leave it at that. ALIX Dumb dumb Russel and dumb Silver with his dumb dumb plastic sword, getting involved in business that's not really there's to deal with. But, I'm a smartie and a cutie! I'm a thinking woman's wrestler. Aren't I Queen Esther? QUEEN ESTHER You truly are a woman who operates on a higher intellectual level than us all. Why your recent purchase of a pack of K Y Jelly, means you'll always have a delicious spread for your bread! And with the many young black female friends you have acquired through the "back pages", you'll always have many a fellow to share it with. I wish to be privy to these "back pages" so I may make my own Nubian female friends. ALIX Don't worry Queenie for a few extra bucks they'll let you watch. Silver, you could have played chess with me, and we could have went back and forth in an epic feud like Kaientai against The Mean Street Posse. But you love a good game of connect four, dummy. Now I'd sooooo like for you to connect these four words, you, dead, you're, fucker! SARA JEAN I don't think even Silver can miss that message! COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Former OAOAST 6-man tag champs The Party Brigade and Daisuke Motozaki cut a promo from the world famous interview lounge hyping their rematch with the Playmakers and Brock Ausstin at AngleMania XV. *** Big IQ vs. Keyboard Warriors (Alpha Fail & Shane Smells) *** The #1 contenders to the OAOAST tag title made easy work of their anonymous mask opponents, picking up the W following CW's Kiss From A Rose on Alpha Fail. Winners: Big IQ, via pinfall. Following the match the guys cut a promo on the CAE hyping the tag title match at AngleMania XV. As we return from break we find The All XFL Team inside the ring, with the leader, attired in sharp navy suit at the forefront. THE XFL Saw a Sports Illustrated cover that made me shake my head. Not the one with the fat ass on in swimsuit , doing her part to raise hippo-human relations but the one with Tiger Woods on the cover, asking what happened? What happened to that boy I wonder? It was all good a few years ago, he used to be the man right up there with me, LeBron, KD and Peyton. Now LeBron looking bitch made, Peyton retiring, no one gives a god damn about KD, but The Young Wolf continues to prowl! MOSS All thanks to blessings from Christ our savior. THE XFL Uh, yeah, whatever. Okay, Chuck. Point being is this, you gonna open up a Sports Illustrated article in the near future and its gonna ask What Happened To Mister Dick? But it ain't gonna be an article, just a question and then a two word answer. The XFL. This fool thought he could play me like my name was Sega! He though this shit was sweet n low, now his career is sinking to new lows. He had his chance to get at me in the six man and he failed. Failed miserably, so ya'll expect him to win at AngleMania? No, ya'll should expect The Young Wolf to tear him apart. Because I was born this way I got lightning running thru my veins Ain't nobody gonna stop this train So hop on board, or get out the way Because I was born this way I got lightning running thru my veins Ain't nobody gonna stop this train You can't stop us, we can't be stopped RENEE That's Jock's music! And that's Jock on the stage, clad in a cut off jean shorts and a cut off AngleMania tank top, not to mention his glittery cowboy hat. MISTER DICK Xaier, you son of a bitch, here's the deal! You come to Philly yer gonna suck my dick! THE XFL I'm gonna what?! MISTER DICK I didn't stutter, bitch. Yer gonna suck my dick in Philly, and that skank Rhaenys is too! “YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RHAENYS What?! What did you say about me? I'm going to what?! MISTER DICK You ain't deaf neither, you heard me good and well. RHAENYS I will see you DEMOLISHED in Philadelphia! I will see your life and your dreams charred to a crisp in Philadelphia. THE XFL Chill, this dude all talk. Small dick, big words. MISTER DICK Big enough cock for you to choke on, punk ass! THE XFL You think I'm gonna suck your dick at AngleMania? The Young Wolf feasts he does not suck! You're gonna suck my dick! MISTER DICK Put your money where your four inches are then! You meet me in a Suck My Dick match, that is if Rhaenys lets you have your balls back. THE XFL I got my balls, baby, please believe that, and any match you wanna have we can get into. The Young Wolf is gonna turn you into his old bitch! The XFL drops the mic as we get an INTENSE~! Staredown between the two warriors! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Backstage we find Ivar looking over a cart of blood bags. IVAR Type A, Tybe B, Type AO. My they're improving their selection by the week. But the blood perusal is halted by the arrival of BOHEMOTH, clad in a three piece suit. BOHEMOTH Respect me. IVAR I'm afraid I don't understand. BOHEMOTH Respect me. Pull your name out of the Money In The Bank ladder match at AngleMania. Respect me. RESPECT THE MAN! Well that demand goes about as well as you can imagine as Ivar sweeps Bohemoth's leg out from under him and has him pinned to the ground. IVAR Now it is you who does not understand, human. Ivar The Cunning is but one of many nicknames I have earned over history. Ivar Head Smasher. Ivar The Destroyer. Ivar The Pillager. Ivar The Gold Killer. These are not names given to me after a marketing pow wow over donuts. These are names given to me because long before your great great great grand parents were born it was I who was THE MAN. Now I hope you understand. Human. Ivar releases his grip on Bohemoth with The Beast reduced to a grumbling kitten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 Josh Matthews was backstage to discuss the AngleMania 24/7 title match with Gory Dragan that will put him against TurboWolf. But Gory's mind wasn't into the interview. GORY Man, I shouldn't have killed my family all those years agao. MATTHEWS ….Well, no of course not. GORY I feel bad about that. I'm gonna go think about how to bring them back, TurboWolf can wait. Family first, takes a village! And away the champion went. *** Slaughterhouse (Deuce Deuce Bigelow, Jumbo, Heavy D, The Warthog & CAM) vs. The Masked Mutants, Studderboxx & Dem Bums *** With AngleMania XV around the corner Slaughterhouse took to the ring for 10 man tag action, a tuneup for their Philly Street Fight against Hood Again, Uncle Moe and ex-stablemate Lancel Locke. The match also marked the in-ring debut of CAM, the mysterious Baron of Industry, who took great pleasure in taking Slime to the mat and pounding him with forearms. CAM (Emoji's don't lie!) Dem Bums performed the best out of their team, although Tony Tourettes nearly crapped his pants after pissing Jumbo off rubbing his head like a genie's lamp. Tony T displayed sprinter's speed getting out of the ring, but soon after Deuce put Studderboxx away with the Deep Fryer sit out shoulder piledriver. Winners: Slaughterhouse, via pinfall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 In a pre-taped bit taped outside a TACO STAND somewhere in Mexico... KC 'Cause we're all about that taco! ...The American Idols cut a promo on the 3 Amigos to hype their 6-man tag at AngleMania. Rodrigo sarcastically apologize for disrespecting Mariachi by pulling off his mask during their opening round Anderson Cup match, saying after he saw Mariachi's face he regretted it. RODRIGO I still have nightmares! KC joked their feud with the 3 Amigos is the first time they've had beef with anyone for reasons other than stealing their women! KC Although we're still dealing with some jealous boys here. TAYLOR SWIFT'S BAE Guys, I heard back from T-Swift and she's really, really sorry that she won't be able to make it out to Philly for AngleMania... but she will be watching on the award winning OAOAST Galaxy network! Eating another taco, his mouth covered with grease, "Back Alley Lover" Rodrigo Larkins gave a hearty thumbs up. Suddenly a hot chick enters the picture. HOT CHICK Sausage taco?! Ai, papi! The chick grabs Rodrigo and takes him to a nearby back alley. RODRIGO (O.S.) Only time two sausages should touch is deep inside a hot taco! KC clasps his hands and rushes to the back alley. TAYLOR SWIFT'S BAE Wait for me! Wait for me! Back LIVE!, Rico de Janeiro, Remy Brazil and Pete-O spoke with OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood at the world famous interview lounge to hype their 6-man tag against Lucius Soul and CO2 at AngleMania XV. Rico went on to call them cowards, saying Lucius and CO2 make sure to run and hide whenever they're around, prompting CO2 and Lucius to hit the ring and challenge the guys right then and there! RICO Claiming they didn't bring their gear, Rico and Co declined, but offered to show CO2 "a good time" next week in tag action. MAYA If by a good time you mean my fist up your ass, you got it dude! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 INNNER HARBORBALTIMORE,MD Its a busy day on the industrial side of the harbor with dock workers going about their duty. But an unwelcome element arrives as the entire MENAGERIE strides across the damp pavement. WORKER Hey this private- The worker is shushed by Rayder decking him with a wild haymaker that leaves him bleeding on the ground. SCOURGE Ay, these are the coordinates. Leon should be here, right? REAGAN If my nephew and niece are to be believed. Stand back. The rest of the group gives Reagan here space and the witch launches her arms into the air. REAGAN Valdos, nidos, aquas, azuras, levos, hellios....RISSSSSOS! Its not just the Menagerie who watches but all the dock workers present for the stunning sight of water swirling in a magical monstrous tornado that launches droplets and wind at the crowd, but perhaps more stunningly brings up a storage unit. A storage unit that settles with a thudding thump onto the ground, shooting cracks through it. Who's door falls off, letting a gush of water surge forward, drenching Reagan's shoes. Yet she only has a nod for the emerging, the soaked, and the scowling Leon Rodez. LEON Took you long enough. There is no happy reunion for Leon and his crew. For COLIN MAGUIRE JR, bum rushes his now freed foe. Thanks to disorientation, Leon is pummeled by Colin, but just as soon as his attacks land does Colin get flung into the ocean! Reagan's spell lands him with a cruel impact and he disappears as though he were a mere stone chucked aside. LEON You put up a good fight, Colin. Too bad its pointless. Your son belongs to Reagan and your life belongs to me. When you dry yourself off and get over your pneumonia, let's meet at AngleMania. COMING UP NEXTTHE MAINEVENTKRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS THE FLEXNEXT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 ** THE FLEX w/ Tyler Bryant & Lorelei DeCenzo vs. OAOAST World Champion Krista Isadora Duncan *** As the clash between Tyler Bryant and Krista Isadora Duncan for the OAOAST World Title nears, the Queen of All Media squared off against the bodyguard of her AngleMania XV challenger in a non-title affair. RENEE I think we all know why this one is taking place: Tyler wants Flex to soften up Krista before AngleMania. COACH Who's the champ? Krista. She could've declined the match, but she didn't. You know why? Now she's got a built-in excuse for when Tyler beats her for the title at AngleMania! Krista went on a charm offensive knowing a good brother can't resist a pretty blonde chick. She flicked her hair, stretched her long California tanned legs and arched her back to show off the girls, causing beads of sweat to run down the face of Flex. RENEE We're only 30 seconds into the match and Flex looks like he's been going a half hour! KRISTA (to Flex) Let's grapple! Flex snapped back to reality and tied up with Krista who applied a side headlock that she turned into a hammerlock. KRISTA Now counter. FLEX KRISTA I said counter! Flex does as told, countering Krista's hammerlock into one of her own. She then proceeds to twerk... FLEX ... and shoots off the ropes only to leap into the arms of Flex, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist before smothering his face in her boobs! TYLER & LORELEI Flex drops to a knee. KRISTA (to Flex) Let me hear that motor start. Flex makes motorboat sound * KRISTA Let me hear it! Flex falls on his back as he makes LOUDER motorboat sounds. So loud it masks the ref counting 1-2-3! COACH AAH! TYLER & LORELEI FLEX Winner: Krista Isadora Duncan, via pinfall. Krista stares into the camera with a sheepish grin as her hand is raised in victory. Then she's blindsided by an angry Tyler. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Flex joins in after becoming the latest to be embarrassed by Krista. A list that stretch from coast to coast! But then OSCAR FRIBERG runs in to get him some of rival Flex, who flees with Tyler up the stage. RENEE What's going to happen when Krista and Tyler met for the OAOAST Championship at AngleMania XV! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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