Chanel #99 Posted March 20, 2016 Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 I have SluttyMania to prepare for! I have no time to give you intros! Inside the ring stands The All XFL Network, Rhaenys dressed much fore flashy than her sister and Rick Heyross who turns to address the sold out audience. HEYROSS At SluttyMania 2 Twice The Slut in just a few days live from the historic Tokyo Dome, my clients, and my friends, Rhaenys and Alysanne, the indomitable and unbelievably sexy sisters known as All XFL Network step into the Ejaculation Chamber for the first time in their careers. On the line will be a guaranteed title shot at any women's belt, and I promise you, the OAOAST Galaxy, that you will witness either Rhaenys win or you will see Alysanne win. ALYSANNE Like all the others I've skipped anything sexual for weeks upon weeks. Its been tough but if it pays off and I win, I can't wait to to go for the tag title gold with my big sister! RHAENYS I haven't decided what belt I'm going to pursue. Naturally, I could win the tag titles with the ghost Christmas past as my partner, but as an early present to myself and the world I think it'd be best if I modeled singles gold. So many tough decisions to make, that's what happens when you're hash tag unstoppable. Hashtag hotter than your girlfriend. But if someone else were to win, to take my spot, that would be a vile answer to a poisonous question. HEYROSS The question of who is the final entrant in the Ejaculation Chamber. Lyric, Rhaenys, Alysanne, Judge Dudd, Pierette, The Doll and Cinnamon have all been announced. But the front office has been uncomfortable coy on our final player. ALYSANNE We'd love to meet you very much! I bet you're a real winner, and cute as a button! I spent these waking hours waiting for the sandman I spent these waking hours looking for his master plan I’ll wait ‘til morning ‘til he comes to my house And he’ll give no warning when he’s knocking me out So sing me to sleep tonight And don’t bring me back to life I spend these waking hours waiting for the sandman I spend these waking hours looking for his master plan He will be sorry when he comes to my house I’ll show no mercy ‘til the lights go out So sing me to sleep tonight And don’t bring me back to life Sandman by Hurts blares into the arena and with it comes a huge pop from the fanbase, all excited to see December Belle, roused from sleep and heading to the ring DECEMBER Hi. RHAENYS I should have known. You're the final entrant. DECEMBER Yep, that's me. Maybe. HEYROSS Maybe. You don't know? DECEMBER No, its just I got told a few weeks ago. And I forgot. But now you reminded me. Thanks. HEYROSS You mean to tell me this could have been cleared up in February, but we're days away from SluttyMania Two and you're just now telling us? DECEMBER Um, sorry, I guess. RHAENYS You've got an unfair advantage over the rest of us. You're a Sunray. You eat, breathe, and sleep sex. This is your element, isn't it. I can't even think of what kind of horny sexy business you've cooked up to beat all us amateurs. But I have to guess it'd be pretty hard to strip naked and shock the moral right into an early grave if your spending the next several weeks in a hospital. ALSYANNE Rhaenys, we don't have to do this. RHAENYS No, we do. Let's see how hot and sweaty and nasty you can get with a broken jaw! IF YOU SMELL....WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING Can it be? Is it so? Why yes it is, my loyal readers! THE MOTHERUCKING ROCK IS ON THE CHARGE TO THE RING! THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION! THE ROCK! IN THE OAOAST! NOT PRL EITHER! OAOAST GALAXY RENEE I have no idea what's going on! Do you, Coach? COACH Hell no! Rhaenys and Alysanne and Heyross watch stupified, dumbfounded and many other things as The Rock slides into the ring and cozies up next to December, who doesn't seem to find his presence at all out of the ordinary. DECEMBER Hey, dad. RHAENYS Dad? Are you two dating? Are you dating The Rock?! DECEMBER Ewww. He's my dad. Like my biological father. Like, you know, sperm and egg. HEYROSS We get how child birth works. But you're saying The Rock is your dad?! DECEMBER He had me when he was young, so he let me live with my mom, Betty Belle, and her boyfriend. I thought everyone knew this. ALYSANNE No, no one knew The Rock was your dad, December. DECEMBER Oh sorry. You should have asked, though. RHAENYS Who thinks to ask if The Rock is your dad?! That's not a question that comes up. Ever! And personally, I feel- THE ROCK It doesn't matter what you feel! RHAENYS Excuse me?! THE ROCK The Rock was sitting at his home in Miami, Florida home of The Heat, home of the Hurricanes, home of South Beach and he thought to himself Rock, the most electrifying daughter in sports entertainment is about to fly off to Japan and stick eighteen pounds of sushi and tentacles up Rhaeny's candy ass! “YYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RHAENYS THE ROCK Rock, you should go see her off. And here The Rock was backstage at an OAOAST event, spending time with his eldest child, when she was called to the ring by two complete idiots, two complete goofs, two complete pieces of monkey crap! HEYROSS and RHAENYS Mister Johnson, please note that The All XFL Network, The All XFL Team are big fans of your work both in and out of the sports entertainment industry. You much like Xavier Franklin Long are pioneers in the field of sports, and the field- THE ROCK Shut your fat mouth! The Rock was going to let December fight her own battle, and The Rock can still do that. But, lets ask December what she wants. December, do you want me to lay the smackdown on Rick Heyross' roody poo candy ass! DECEMBER Ah, I guess that'd be cool. Okay. ROCK BOTTOM on HEYROSS! “YYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE What a gift from dear old dad~! Furious but not stupid, Rhaenys hurries out of the ring with Alysanne in a shocked state behind her. This leaves Heyross left in the ring to suffer through the lazy people's elbow from December, as in December does a half hearted motion, WALKS the ropes, yawns, and drops an elbow and decides its just better to lie down instead of popping up. Used to his daughter's love of sleeping, The Rock merely takes to turnbuckles and poses for his millions and millions of fans, and maybe the Cena fans who still hold a grudge. COACH Yo, this nigga The Rock got his hands in everything, lives balls to the wall all day everyday and he's got a daughter who is so lazy she lost a match because she feel asleep during a pin? RENEE The apple falls very far from the tree, but December is gonna pop some Adderral and kill it in Ejaculation Chamber! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 *** The 3 Amigos vs. Keyboard Warriors (Ass_Man_69, Holy TROLLer & Nematode) *** Squash victory for the 3 Amigos, who we learned would face ARRIBA's American Idols & Taylor Swift's Bae at AngleMania XV. The guys picked up the W after Chick hit Ass_Man_69 with The Sky is Falling. Winners: The 3 Amigos, via pinfall. SUFFOLK COUNTY JAILBoston, MA In the women's maximum security ward its chow time with.. CASSIDY MAGUIRE not only carrying a tray of crap prison food but gabbing away with three rough looking inmates. CASSIDY And then I called Mister Trump to see if he would bail me out but he's all like we have a big issue with the fight at the rally, and I'd rather not do anything that would get me bad pres like bailing out an illegal immigrant employer and a witch. It really hurt my friends. One inmate reaches out and holds Cassidy's hand. CASSIDY I'm pretty sure my brother is the one who turned me in, so I'm just feeling super alone right now. INMATE 1 Don't worry, Cassidy. We got your back. CASSIDY Thank you, inmate one. INMATE 2 By the way I love your gift ideas for pledges to your sorority. I wish I had kept the severed heads of my victims and filled them with jelly beans. CASSIDY Thank you! INMATE 3 And you are a style genius, and any friendships you make on the inside are the real kind. CASSIDY Thank you guys! I will never be able to repay you for the kindness you've shown me. Besties forever I say! GUARD (OS) Maguire! Your bail has been posted! CASSIDY Later losers. Cue: Keep Me Hanging On by Kim Wilde We see Cassidy strutting down the hallway of the prison, looking sharp as hell in her high fashion clothes instead of her prison guard to the awating AMBER, who leans against the wall. CASSIDY I knew you'd bail me out. AMBER Yeah, you're welcome. CASSIDY Amber you are a true acquaintance. I'm famished. I wouldn't mind stopping by Wendys for some BBQ sauce and cotton balls then resuming my plan to bury my GD Aunt in the GD ground. Let's hit it, sister. AMBER Let's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 **Cobra Strike and Mister Dick Vs The All XFL Team (The XFL, Mathis Golden and Brock Ausstin)*** RENEE So big news Cobra Strike will be included in the Money In The Bank ladder match at AngleMania joining an already star studded lineup. And even more big news, Mister Dick and The XFL will square off one on one at AngleMania in Philadelphia! Blanchard wasn't happy about having to fight Jock's battles and took it out on Brock early on. He and Baron exchanged most of the tags, while Golden and Brock did the same for their team. This kept Jock and Xavier away from each other, which seemed to suit XFL just fine. Not Jock though as he ran from the apron and yanked The XFL off the apron! RENEE The Cocky Prick explodes! Hheheee, pun. COACH Team full of hot heads it figures one is gonna go off. This distracted Blanchard who was grabbed onto by Brock and crushed with an F-Stunner-5 to suffer the loss! Winner: The All Xfl Team, via pinfall RENEE The All XFL Team is on a roll! First the six man championships and now this big victory on the road to AngleMania. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 Tyler cut an in ring promo that due to me having to write and polish SM stuff I can only summarize. With Lorelei and FLEX at his side his theme was on doing favors. TYLER I did a favor for Krista when I took out Shayne. Now she can walk into AngleMania with a clear head, and zero delusions that I'm the Tyler she knew. When I beat her for the world title, and I will, she'll know its the new and improved Tyler Bryant, the one with the future so bright he has to wear shades that took down her ninth world title reign. Neither Lorelei or Tyler had much sympathy for Shayne. LORELEI Shayne, you were given a chance to get aboard the winning bandwagon a year ago. Instead you chose to flounder and waste your career away pretending to be a drug dealer? You are the past, just like Krista, and neither of you will be missed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 Outside the arena, Pete-O is on Ice Cream truck duty, which is not a duty a wrestler should have but whatever. Anyway, Pete is approached by Sophie who has a mass of security behind her. PETE Bonjour, Sophie! Are you here for Pete's Sweet Treats? SOPHIE Yuck! If you should make a 'ow you say “move” on me, my security will dismantle you. PETE Yipe! SOPHIE Mais non, I 'av come bearing good news for you. Les arbitres are afraid of Sabrina and Sugar now, and I 'tink you are only one who will...control les filles. PETE And then some! SOPHIE Yuck! But you will be special guest referee at SluttyMania Two. PETE I'll be anything you want to get in the ring with them two! I'll even ref naked. SOPHIE Ce n'est pas nécessaire! Ce n'est pas nécessaire! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 **Deirdre W/Remy Bazil Vs Maya Duncan-Blanchard*** Before the match we saw The Southern Immorality dressing room where Remy wanted Pete to help Deirdre prepare by practicing some holds. PETE (looking at Deirdre) Nope, too old. DEIRDRE So Deirdre just had Remy with her at ringside for the affair with the two time women's champion. RENEE Maya has the G-Spot Climax tournament to think about at SluttyMania 2 but her other focus is on Southern Immorality and right now its their negligent valet Deirdre she has to fight. COACH Why you say negligent? RENEE Their thrilling record of zero wins and a million losses isn't due to her attentive managing! Deirdre's wrestling was a little bit better than her valet skills as she held her own with Maya for some technical sequences. But when thinks went to the bigger moves that's when Maya outclassed her. It wasn't long before Maya won a decisive victory with her leap frog face crusher known as iMaya. Winner: Maya Duncan-Blanchard, via pinfall Post-match Remy thought he could toss his lethal playing cards in Maya's face, but he was jumped by ANNAGRET WICKEDBORN, BOBBI CHEESECAKE and JADE RODEZ DUNCAN! RENEE The other three G-Spot Hotties! The three girls beat Remy bloody, and only help from Rico and Pete could get him out of the ring. Maya tried to unite them all under that attack, but the three felt continued hostility and each promised to win Maya's heart at SM 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 Backstage, OAOAST Hall of Famer Terry Taylor interviewed new OAOAST 6-man tag champs The Playmakers and Brock Ausstin, joined by All XFL Team GM Rick Heyross. BENJAMIN Where the haters at now? Huh?! Where they at? Moss types on phone. MOSS There. Just sent another Tweet directed at The Party Brigade and Dice-M. Heyross shows the message to Brock on his phone. Brock nods and laughs. MOSS & BENJAMIN Losers! Heyross mentioned the former champs wanted another crack at the title, which they'll get at AngleMania XV, but that the outcome would be a replay of last week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 In a pre-taped segment recorded at Sunshine Yukino's Sunrise brothel, Kawhi Erving of Hood Again played Jenga with some of the working girls. Cousin Moses Robinson and Uncle Moe soon emerged from separate rooms accompanied by very satisfied ladies, as did LANCEL LOCKE who greeted the guys at the bar. UNCLE MOE Welcome back to the real world, home boy. Moe and Locke fist bump. LOCKE I saw the light! Sunrise, if you will. No more taking orders. I'm giving them. And come AngleMania XV we'll be handing beat downs to Slaughterhouse. Handling the talking for his nephews, Uncle Moe brought up Slaughterhouse calling Locke a "rat" in comments to the press following last week. UNCLE MOE I'll give you that. Locke is a rat. Our HOOD RAT. Rich. Ass. Thug. Because he's gonna be makin' serious bank now that he's split from your sausage factory. Home boy's gonna leave bitches screamin' his name and motherfuckers screamin' in pain! Jenga tower falls. KAWHI Jenga! Back LIVE!, OAOAST Hall of Famer Terry Taylor spoke with Slaughterhouse about the upcoming Philly Street Fight at AM XV. Deuce talked about lambs being led to the slaughterhouse, only that herd is led by a rat in Lancel Locke. DEUCE Rats aren't the only ones who like to roll around in their own filth. Pigs too. And there's a few running loose in the OAOAST. (to group)I think it's time to bring home the bacon. Violence was guaranteed, making CAM extremely happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2016 ***Sisterhood of The Rich and Famous Vs Men-U-Pause W/Archie*** Archie had to dress in pink booty shirts and fishnet stockings! Pierette found this adorable, Gretchen much less so. Fuckery abounded as Aisling tried to rescue Archie and tore off his top, which Malaysia complained about. As order was restored, Holly drilled Gretchen with her belt, leaving Pierette to have to fight handicapped! Pierette put up a valiant fight but fell in victim to The Mirage. Winner: Men-U-Pause, via pinfall Post-match Holly delivered a Percussion to Gretchen onto the title belt and posed above her fallen body. See ya at SluttyMania! FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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