Tony149 Posted March 9, 2013 Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!B-O-O-M~! COLE Less than 48 hours away from another OAOAST Syndicated special, we welcome you to HeldDOWN!! Hello everyone, Michael Cole here with you once again along with the Coach. COACH Baltimore, baby! Home of crappy food, crappy nightlife and crappy baseball. COLE So you should fit right in here, partner. COACH :firing: COLE Tonight we've got more great OAOAST action on tap, including the final two first round matches in the tournament to crown a new X-Division Champion. In the first, which will kick things off tonight, Vitamin X takes on James Blonde and in the second, our main event this week, Landon Maddix takes on a returning Longdogger Pete! Also tonight, a ten-man tag team contest involving X-division rivals Reject and Jamie O'Hara. But that's for later. Let's head up to the ring for our first contest. *KA-CHING~!* *Come and take your Vitamin X.* "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. The crowd starts booing loudly. The entrance doors slide open, and Vitamin X comes out, doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Princess Stacey follows him out onto the entrance stage. VX tries to get the crowd fired up, but fails miserably. He grabs Stacey’s right hand and kisses it, then hugs his girl. Prince Vitamin kisses Stacey, and then walks down the entrance ramp, which has dollar signs superimposed over it. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a First Round Match in the tournament for the vacant OAOAST X-Division Championship, scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by Princess Stacey. From Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 248 lbs. He is the Financial Consultant AND the Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew. He...is...VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! Vitamin X bobs his head to the beat of "Bling-Bling". COLE We continue our tournament for the vacant X-Division Title tonight, with the final two First Round Matches! And this Saturday on OAOAST Syndicated, you will see the first Quarterfinals Match as "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican takes on "The Ice Heart" Dan Black! COACH PRL is a lock to continue on in this tournament, I just know it! The question is, will Prince Vitamin be joining his fellow Lightning Crew compadre in the finals? COLE Speaking of which, just what is Vitamin X doing in this tournament anyway? He’s not a X-Division wrestler! He’s nowhere near a cruiserweight. He weighs 248 lbs! Doesn’t he fancy himself as more of a technical wrestler? COACH Yes, but his name is Vitamin X. How appropriate would it be if he won the X-Division Title? That belt was practically made for The X-Man! COLE Sorry I asked. COACH And besides, the X-Division isn’t about weight limits, it’s about no limits! Vitamin X will fit in just fine! COLE Well, we’ll see about that, as he starts the tournament against a favourite of HI-YAH, James Blonde! Vitamin X jaws with the fans, and then climbs the ring steps, before getting onto a second turnbuckle. VX then crosses his arms into an X. The crowd boos some more as "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys continues playing. Vitamin X gets off the second turnbuckle and gets into the ring, where he does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle again. Princess Stacey enters the ring herself. COACH And by the way, how great is it to see Princess Stacey again? We haven’t seen her since Anglepalooza. I missed her! COLE Coach, give it up. COACH NEVER! X bounces off the ropes to get the blood flowing. Stacey removes his sunglasses and hands them over to a ringside attendant. X throws in a few bad dance moves as "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down. Vitamin X looks to the entrance. COLE You will give up, Coach. Even if I have to force you to. "Spirit In The Sky" by Norman Greenbaum begins playing. The entrance doors slide open, and James Blonde comes out. The crowd gives him a positive reception. Blonde waves to the fans. BUFFER And his opponent. From Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Weighing in at 201 lbs. JAMESSSSSSSS BLOOOONNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEE! Blonde runs down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring, where Vitamin X pounces on him immediately. VX stomps on Blonde, ripping off his red cowboy hat and spitting on it. COLE And Vitamin X wants to start this match right now! COACH Get him, X! Get him! Referee Charles Robinson calls for the bell. *DING DING DING*FIRST ROUND MATCH IN THE TOURNAMENT FOR THE VACANT OAOAST X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP VITAMIN X (with Princess Stacey) vs. JAMES BLONDE VX continues stomping on James Blonde as the match begins. X picks Blonde up, and punches him in the face. He does it again, and again! Blonde blocks a punch, and punches VX, drawing a loud reaction from the fans! Blonde hammers VX in the face, and then whips him into the ropes, following with a BAAAAAACK Body Drop! Blonde goes for the cover! 1...2...KICK OUT! COLE And we’re off to a hot start in this match-up! Princess Stacey looks on concerned as Blonde picks Vitamin X up and gives him a vertical suplex. He goes for the cover again. 1...2...KICK OUT! Blonde slaps the mat in frustration. He picks up the already groggy Vitamin X and gives him an European Uppercut, followed by another European Uppercut, and then scoops X up to give him a slam onto the mat. Blonde covers the X-Man again. And gets another two count! COACH He won’t stay down! The X-Man is looking for a fight tonight! "X’S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X’S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X’S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* "X’S A PUSS-SEE!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* COACH HE IS NOT! James Blonde picks Vitamin X up as Princess Stacey shouts words of encouragement from the outside. Standing dropkick! X goes down. James Blonde picks Vitamin X up again and whips him into a turnbuckle--NO--X reverses. Blonde hits the turnbuckle. X charges forward...and gets kicked in the face! Blonde takes a few steps back, and then charges forward, knocking Prince Vitamin down with a crossbody block! Blonde plays to the crowd, who cheer! COLE And the crowd is loving this! COACH They’re racists against millionaires! COLE Wait, what!? James Blonde glances over at the nervous Stacey, and then picks Vitamin X up again. X’s eyes are glazed over, and he is perspiring. Blonde measures X up, and then kicks him in the gut--CAUGHT by Vitamin X! VX spins Blonde around, and then goes for a kick to the gut himself, HOWEVER, Blonde catches X’s right leg. So, VX hits Blonde with his left leg, giving him an enziguiri! COLE Oh, and an enziguiri from Vitamin X! COACH See, he DOES know some moves! COLE It’s gonna take alot more than knowing some moves to advance in that tournament, Coach! COACH Yeah? Well, we’ll see about that! VX slowly gets up. Princess Stacey nods her head to express her happiness in X getting up. Prince Vitamin picks James Blonde up and drags him by his blonde hair over to a turnbuckle corner. VX knees Blonde in the gut several times, screaming and taunting him while doing so. The X-Man then starts hitting Blonde with jabs to the face, which cause Blonde to slump down onto the mat. COACH Look at him go, Cole! You are seeing a master at work here! Vitamin X chokes James Blonde with his right foot. Referee Charles Robinson tells VX to stop, so he does. X jogs over to the opposite turnbuckle corner, and starts doing the "low-rider" hand gesture. This causes the crowd to start booing. COLE Oh come on! COACH Uh-oh! He’s feeling it! He’s feeling it! COLE Don’t tell me. He’s not gonna... COACH Yes! Here it comes! The move he invented! Vitamin X charges forward...and hits James Blonde with the Broncobuster! COLE Broncobuster! Broncobuster from Vitamin X, a move he SWIPED from Colombian Heat! COACH Hey, he stole Heat’s girl, now he’s stolen his move! Vitamin X gets off of Blonde and does a SHIMMY~! to further mock his arch-rival. Princess Stacey laughs at Vitamin X’s parody of her ex-boyfriend. Prince Vitamin grabs James Blonde by his right arm and pulls him up to his feet. VX gives Blonde a snap suplex! X goes for the cover. ONE! TWO! LEFT SHOULDER UP! VITAMIN X COME ON, REF! Vitamin X stands up on his feet and starts kicking Blonde all over his body. A "P.R. SUCKS!" chant starts up. VX picks James Blonde up by his hair, and gives him an Irish Whip into the ropes. Blonde bounces off the ropes, Vitamin X applies a sleeperhold! COACH Uh-oh! He’s got him! He’s got him! No he doesn’t! Because, James Blonde runs around the ring until Vitamin X loses his grip and rolls out of the ring! COLE Guess not. COACH Shut up. Blonde dares Vitamin X to get back into the ring. VX dares Blonde to dare him again. Yes, you read that right. The X-Man enters the ring again. The two men circle each other. VX knees Blonde in the gut, and then applies another sleeperhold on him! COACH Okay. He’s got him this time! I know it! VX cinches the sleeperhold tight. Blonde flails his arms in the air, trying to grab anything he can. COLE Can Vitamin X do it? Blonde finally grabs ahold of something: Vitamin X. Blonde gives X a backdrop onto the mat! COACH Oh! Look at Stacey! She’s fretting! COLE Fretting? That’s a new one. "LET’S GO BLONDE!" "LET’S GO BLONDE!" "LET’S GO BLONDE!" "LET’S GO BLONDE!" Blonde gets up. He picks Vitamin X up by his hair, and then whips him into the ropes. Blonde puts his head down, so Vitamin X gives him a Floatover DDT! COLE Floatover DDT from the X-Man! The cover! 1! 2! KICK OUT! X rubs his face, and then gets back to his feet. VX bounces off the ropes, and drops a knee onto James Blonde’s face! VX picks James Blonde up again. X starts doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, drawing boos. COACH Here it comes! Oh boy! The X-Man punches James Blonde in the face! He then does it again! X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and then punches James Blonde a third time, knocking Blonde down! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE These fans are just LAYING into Vitamin X tonight! Princess Stacey covers her ears to drown out the boos, but it doesn’t work, so she jaws with some fans at ringside, telling them to "be quiet!" COLE That’s not gonna work, Stacey. You still got alot to learn about this business! COACH I wish I was her teacher. COLE No! VX picks James Blonde up. He places Blonde in between his legs, and then hooks his arms, and then lifts Blonde up for a suplex...but then turns it into a neckbreaker! The Overdose! COLE Overdose from Vitamin X! The X-Man goes for the cover! 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!-KICK OUT!!! COLE No! Close fall there! COACH Ugh. Come on X! Don’t stop now! Princess Stacey is disappointed that that wasn’t the finish either. COLE Both men are starting to feel the effects of this match. But they’re still fighting, because this is a single elimination tournament! One lost, and you’re done! COLE We already know PRL’s in the Quarterfinals! God, I hope Vitamin X joins him! That means there’s more of a chance that a Lightning Crew member takes it all! Vitamin X starts climbing up top. COACH The X-Man’s going upstairs. He’s gonna fly! VX gets on the top turnbuckle as the crowd starts booing again. X has an evil smile on his face as he straddles the top rope. COLE X-Man in dangerous territory here! Suddenly, James Blonde gets to his feet. He rushes towards the turnbuckle where Vitamin X is at and grabs the top rope, shaking it so that Vitamin X loses his balance...and crotches himself on the top turnbuckle! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH OH NO! Vitamin X winces in pain. James Blonde climbs the second turnbuckle, and then climbs the top turnbuckle. COLE Blonde up top himself! Blonde grabs Vitamin X. Together, the two men stand on the top rope. A hush silence falls over the crowd. Princess Stacey watches.... COLE Look out below! ....as James Blonde gives Vitamin X a SUPER BACK SUPLEX FROM THE TOP ROPE!!!!!!!!!!! COACH AAAAHHHHH! Both Vitamin X and James Blonde lie on the mat, breathing heavily as the referee checks on them. Princess Stacey puts her hands on her head. COLE Super Back Suplex from the top rope! That move took a whole lot of energy out of the both of them! COACH Come on X! Win this for Princess Stacey! The crowd has come alive again. Charles Robinson has started a 10 count. 2... 3... 4... Vitamin X moves his legs. 5... James Blonde moves his right arm. 6... Vitamin X tries to sit up. 7... James Blonde DOES sit up. 8... Vitamin X rolls over to his side. 9... James Blonde gets to his feet. COLE Blonde’s up! James Blonde is fatigued, walking slowly, and in pain. He looks down at X. He then looks at the crowd. The crowd cheers. Blonde smiles. Suddenly, Princess Stacey gets on the ring apron. COLE What? Stacey? What’s she doing here? COACH That’s PRINCESS Stacey to you, bub, and she’s so hot, she can do anything she wants! Stacey screams, which gets Blonde’s attention, and he’s not happy. The crowd starts booing. COLE Someone get her out of here! Blonde gets into an argument with Stacey. They exchange not-so-pleasant words, while Vitamin X grabs a hold of Charles Robinson’s referee shirt. COACH This won’t end well for Blonde, I can tell you that. Blonde continues yelling at Stacey...when Stacey starts spraying James Blonde in the eyes with mace! COLE Oh my! Is that--is that mace!? COACH It is, Michael! Stacey must always pack mace in her purse! COLE For moments like this, I’m sure! COACH No! To protect herself against criminals. This is only secondary! COLE Oh come on! Blonde is blinded by the mace! He screams out in horrible, horrible pain while Princess Stacey gets off the ring apron and puts the mace in her right back pocket. The crowd boos loudly. Vitamin X finally lets go of Lil’ Naitch’s referee shirt, so that he can get up. COLE No! Not this way! No! Stop this! VX grabs James Blonde from behind, and lifts him onto his shoulders in a Torture Rack position. The crowd continues booing. X parades around the ring with Blonde on his shoulders, a ANGRY~! look on his face. VX HOOTIE-HOO~! Vitamin X throws James Blonde off of his shoulders, giving him a neckbreaker on the way down! COACH The X-Clamation Point! COLE The what? COACH The X-Clamation Point! That’s the name of Vitamin X’s new finisher! COLE Well, whatever it is called, it’s put James Blonde on the mat! James Blonde lies on the mat, covering his eyes, while slamming the mat with his feet. Vitamin X has a cocky smirk on his face as he covers Blonde, hooking his legs. Princess Stacey watches with an evil smile on her gorgeous face as referee Charles Robinson makes the count. The crowd boos loudly. COACH Here it comes! ONE! TWO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (11:13) "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !" VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! COLE And Vitamin X moves onto the Quarterfinals! COACH Yes! BOO-YAH~! "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. Vitamin X raises his hands in victory. Charles Robinson then raises his hands in victory again. BUFFER Here is your winner...and moving onto the Quarterfinals....VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, drawing boos. He raises his hands again, drawing more boos. X taunts the crowd. Princess Stacey applauds her man on the outside. Charles Robinson checks on James Blonde. COLE A valiant effort from James Blonde, but Vitamin X managed to find a way to weasel into the Quarterfinals of the X-Division Title tournament! COACH Weaseled? Come on now! COLE There’s no other way to describe it! Vitamin X SCREWED James Blonde, and now James Blonde is OUT of the tournament! His shot at the X-Division Championship is GONE! COACH Yeah? Well, you win some, you lose some. Tomorrow is another day. It is always the darkest before the dawn, and blah, blah, blah, blah, bling bling, blah! Princess Stacey enters the ring and hugs Prince Vitamin. She then kisses him, absolutely giddy over X advancing to the Quarterfinals. X stops to catch his breath. He wipes the sweat off of his forehead and flicks it onto James Blonde! Vitamin X walks over to the camera in front of him. VITAMIN X One down, three to go. Vitamin X exits the ring with Princess Stacey as "Bling-Bling" continues playing. James Blonde is moving on the mat. COLE Vitamin X has eliminated James Blonde from the tournament. That leaves us with 7 men in the Quarterfinals. Let’s take a look at the updated brackets. Vitamin X raises his left hand in the air and puts his right arm over Princess Stacey’s shoulders. Both Stacey and The X-Man have evil smiles on their faces. Vitamin X laughs manically as he walks up the entrance ramp. The crowd boos. A graphic appears on screen showing the updated brackets for the tournament for the vacant OAOAST X-Division Championship.FIRST ROUND"The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican vs. Kenji Kawada - PRL"After Hours" Felix Strutter vs. "Ice Heart" Dan Black - BlackOtaku II vs. James Riggs - RiggsJamie O' Hara vs. Reject - RejectSpanish Fly vs. Jay Richards - FlyDance Dance Dragon vs. Ramone Juan Jesus Guetierez - DDDVitamin X vs. James Blonde - VXLongdogger Pete vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" MaddixQUARTER-FINALS"The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican vs. "Ice Heart" Dan BlackJames Riggs vs. RejectSpanish Fly vs. Dance Dance DragonVitamin X vs. ????? COLE The last First Round Match is coming up later tonight in our main event as Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix takes on Longdogger Pete! COACH And congradulations to Longdogger Pete on the birth of his newborn child! COLE Congradulations indeed! And--wait? What’s this? The camera cuts back to live action with James Blonde throwing a temper tantrum outside the ring. He’s kicking the ring apron, slapping the mat, cursing, pulling his hair, he even kicks the ring steps! COLE James Blonde seems to be in a pretty bad mood after his loss. COACH Well, what are you gonna do? COLE It’s strange. He’s never acted this way before. COACH Maybe the fact that he lost to someone as awesome as X got to him! COLE Will you stop!? James Blonde throws Michael Buffer off of his chair, and then grabs it. Blonde smashes the steel chair against a ring post while cursing up a storm. JAMES BLONDE I’M SICK OF THIS! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! COLE Geez, calm down, James! It’s only one lost! COACH He lost to Vitamin X...that’s a pretty big deal to me! COLE He’s gotta calm down. There are people near him! COACH Yeah, we could get sued. Come on James, old buddy. Calm down, man! Just relax! It’s only one match! Blonde throws the dented chair aside and spits at it. He runs his hands through his hair and then screams again. James Blonde walks up the entrance ramp, frustrated beyond belief. COLE Well, James Blonde has some anger management issues that he needs to work out. COACH Yeah. Hopefully in a padded cell. COLE Oh will you stop!? Anyway, the tournament continues, as we find out who completes the "Great 8" tonight! James Blonde rubs his red eyes as he walks up the entrance ramp. Blonde mutters to himself as "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys continues playing. The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room where Stephen Joseph Popick is at. He's just standing there, doing nothing really, when "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican opens the door and enters the room, a magazine in his hands. The crowd boos. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Yo, Popick! Popick! Yo! Check out Lindsay in this months issue of OAOAST Magazine! The camera does a close-up of one of Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez's photos in this months OAOAST Magazine. The crowd cheers. PRL Yeah. The sweater was my idea. Those puppies are gonna stay covered. But I allowed her to show off her fine sexy legs. Ain't my future wife the new hotness? HA HA! Popick doesn't look too pleased. PRL Popick, what's wrong? You don't think Lindsay looks hot? You haven't gone gay on me, have you? (Not that there's anything wrong with that) STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK P.R., whens the last time Lindsay wrestled a match? PRL Uh...I dunno. 2005, I guess? POPICK Right. And whens the last time she WON a match? PRL Ummm...uhh....err.... POPICK EXACTLY! Lindsay hasn't been improving her wrestling skills like she said she would! Instead, she's been doing meaningless photoshoots like THIS for 14-year-old boys to whack off to! PRL And Thomas. POPICK Right, and Thomas Rodriguez. PRL So? What's your point? POPICK My point is, that, if you want The Lightning Crew to truly be a force to be reckon with in the OAOAST, we need wrestlers who can dominate in every division, every field possible. We need a dominant heavyweight, which we got in you-- PRL Thank you! POPICK We need a dominant tag team, which we got in Brains & Brawn. We need a dominant technical wrestler, which we got in Vitamin X. We need a dominant big man, and we got TWO of them in Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall. And we need a dominant female to rule the Women's Division. I want Lindsay to be that dominant female...because there's no chance in hell of Princess Stacey becoming anything other than barely decent. Believe me, I've seen her train. PRL (nodding his head) Mmm hmmm. POPICK So, we, the both of us, have to tell Lindsay that she's gotta stop thinking about how good her ass looks in a pair of jeans, and start thinking of how good her Lindsay-curana looks. Lindsay's gotta start concentrating on wrestling now. And hey, AngleMania VI is coming up soon. Wouldn't it be great, if at AngleMania, you and Lindsay stood side by side, you with the X-Division Title, Lindsay with the Women's Title? PRL Yeah. I like that. POPICK You guys are getting married soon. Don't you want to become husband and wife AND the Golden Couple of the OAOAST? PRL Yeah. Yeah! YEAH! I do! I do! POPICK Good. I'm glad to hear that. So, let's go talk to Lindsay and tell her what we want her to do. PRL All right, Popick! Thanks, man. I knew you would do good as my "Career Consultant". POPICK Not only am I your "Career Consultant", I am also The Lightning Crew's "Career Consultant". PRL Rock on! Popick stares at PRL. PRL Sorry, that just slipped out. POPICK Riiiighht. Let's go. PRL Okay! Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick leave The Lightning Crew dressing room. The crowd boos. The door slams as we head to commercial break.FADE OUTCommercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 And now, OAOAST BACKTRACKER presented by Your Imagination: Insert Slogan Here.Two Weeks AgoLOW BLOW stops Brannigan in his tracks. In addition to the referee being down and out, so are Dan and Uber outside. With no authority figure present Big Frank wallops Tony with a STEEL CHAIR! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Big Frank swipes his arms to singal the end is near. He facelocks Tony for the 69 DRIVER but spends most of his time taunting the hecklers ringside.... :huh: ...apparently causing a commotion in the stands, which we soon learn is because LOGAN USHER MANN is in the building! VENTURA What?! He's got no business being here! With the aid of a CANE, Logan hops over the guardrail and sneaks up behind Big Frank...BREAKING THE CANE ACROSS HIS BACK!! :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: Unaware of what happened, Dan Black casually climbs onto the apron only to be yanked down by Uber. The Psycho Gremlin leaning him against the ringpost for a headbutt...but Black moves and Uber posts himself! "THREE-BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The fans know what's next. 3-B, THE BLACK BODY BAG!!! Earl Hebner crawls over as Dan Black and Tony Brannigan, the Trans-Atlantic Wrecking Crew known as Black T, both cover Big Frank! ONE... TWO... THREE!!! Standing by at our backstage interview location, the SOONER BRUISERS alongside Hall of Famer "Mean" Gene Okerlund. OKERLUND Here with me at this time, the only brother combination to hold the OAOAST tag team championship of the world, Big Frank and Uber Bruiser, the Sooner Bruisers. Gentlemen, thank you for joining me. I know you have plently to say about the challenged issued to you by the Heavenly Rockers just a few short days ago on our syndicated weekend program. However, before we get to that, let's revisit the challenged as issued across the country and around the world this past weekend. * SWOOSH *Courtesy: OAOAST Syndicated Conducted atop the world famous INTERVIEW STAGE, Tony Schiavone holds the mic as Logan Usher Mann pontificates. By his side wife Holly-Wood and fellow Heavenly Rocker Synth. LOGAN As they say, paybacks are a [beep]! You didn't really think a sprained knee would stop me from ripping the hearts out of your chests and stomping 'em to a bloody pulp, did you, Bruisers? While breaking that cane across Frank's back was as satisifying as a late night with Holly-Wood, the Heavenly Rockers understand the war is far from over. But it is one step closer to ending it. Right now the Sooner Bruisers are probably experiencing a side effect that usually occurs from the intake of a certain drug and need something to help release all that anger inside of them. It just so happens I have what the doctor ordered. You see, there's this little pay-per-view coming up April 1st. AngleMania I think it's called. Biggest night of the year they say, the granddaddy of them all. Zack Malibu vs. Drek Stone is worth the price of admission alone, but let's play the Steamboat/Savage to their Andre/Hogan. Let's end the war once and for all. I'm talking about a Sin City Street Fight! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" LOGAN Being as how this will be the first AngleMania to be held outside the United States entirely, let's raise the stakes. LOSER LEAVES TOWN!! SCHIAVONE LOGAN Go ask Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard just how tough we are in that kind of match. SYNTH Now ya'll mutha[beep] deal wit dat! * SWOOSH * Back live, the Bruisers are ready to explode. OKERLUND You heard Logan Mann reference the Beverly Hills Blonds in his closing statement. As many of you know, Simon and Ned lost a Sin City Street Fight last AngleMania but returned due to a loophole discovered by Mackenzie DeCenzo. While OAOAST officials have signed off on the proposed match, the loser will only leave town for 90 days, as to prevent the total loss of one of the two top tag teams in the sport today. BIG FRANK We don't need no damn saftey net, Norma Gene. 90 days or forever, it don't matter 'cause me and my brother are gonna beat them so bad they'll never be able to wrestle again. OKERLUND So you accept? BIG FRANK Yeah, we accept. We finally get our chance to cripple their sorry asses without threat of repercussions from the suits at OAOAST Towers. Heavenly Rockers, you better take out the best insurance plan you can find, and Logan Mann, I suggest you have your sperm frozen because you'll never be capable of fathering children after we get done with you and Powder. COD, Los Diablos or Wright and Moneymaker, you all better watch your backs because we're coming after you and the World tag titles next. OKERLUND Assuming you get past the Heavenly Rockers at AngleMania? BIG FRANK Assume nothing! I told you so! OKERLUND Let's go back to the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following 10 Man Tag Team contest is scheduled for one fall! "Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees" The 80s grooves of "Easy Lover" by Phil Collins play through the arena and Mardi Gras is here, two days late! To the surprise and delight of the Baltimore fans, a troupe of scantily clad Brazilian dancers lead the way through the entrance doors, the sounds of drums and tambourines and whatever else it is they play drown out even the powerful PA system. And among the samba celebrations walks Rico de Janeiro, arm in arm with two Brazilian beauties! Likewise, Lucius Soul has a South American señorita on each arm and seems to be loving every second as the mini procession makes it's way down to the ring. BUFFER Introducing team number one! First... at a total combined weight of four hundred, thirteen pounds... the team of RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... they are, THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREWii The normal boos don't come, or at least aren't audible, due to the attention the parade is getting. COACH This has to be the greatest entrance ever. Hands down. COLE Well as I'm sure many of our fans will know, Mardi Gras was of course this past Tuesday. And Rico and Lucius just arrived in Baltimore last night, fresh from celebrating on the streets in Rico's hometown of Rio de Janeiro. What a culmination to the Mardi Gras celebrations a win tonight would be. COACH Culmination? It's Mardi Gras 365 days a year for Rico and Lucius! It never ends! The samba troupe head back once Rico and Lucius reach the ring, their music dying down just as DJ Clue's "Super Mario Remix" starts up. From the entrance way appear two out of the Five Burroughs, easily identifiable as Waldo and Quincy. The two New Yorkers eye up the Brazilian ladies as they pass in the aisle, clearly liking what they see. BUFFER Their tag team partners... both representing The Five Burroughs! From Queens, New York... QUINCY! And, from Staten Island, New York... WALDO! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As Waldo and Quincy enter the ring and join up with their partners, "Renegade" by Jay-Z and Eminem hits to bring out the final member of the team. The lights go out, bathing the arena in darkness until the baseline kicks in and so does the entrance of the third of five burroughs, Reject. BUFFER And finally, hailing from The Bronx. Also representing The Five Burroughs... he weighs in at two hundred, thirty five pounds... the former two-time OAOAST X-Division Champion... RRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEJJEEEEEECCTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The only two-time X-Division Champion in OAOAST history and a quarter finalist in the ongoing X-Division Title Tournament, so still in the running for a third reign. Joining up with his regular running buddies, Reject greets Rico and Lucius with handshakes. Obviously he then gravitates back towards Quincy and Waldo who he's more comfortable with, but hey, the gesture is there. "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" Meanwhile, the wicked beats of "Fix Up, Look Sharp" by Dizzee Rascal pound through the arena. And Reject's eyes lock on the entrance doors, smiling smugly as Jamie O'Hara strides down the aisle. O'Hara looks ready to take on everybody at first, but as he approaches the ring he has second thoughts about a five on one defecit. BUFFER And introducing their opponents! First, from Birmingham, England... weighing in at one hundred and seventy pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE OOOOOO'HHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" O'Hara stews on the outside as Reject, flanked by Waldo and Quincy, just dares him to enter the ring. COLE A lot of history between Reject and O'Hara, with that controversial match at AnglePalooza which led to the X-Division Title being held up. And just two weeks ago, Reject beat O'Hara in the Quarter Finals of the X-Division Title Tournament, albeit with the aid of some brass knuckles. COACH I don't remember that last part. COLE We can bring the footage up if you wis... COACH Nah, that's not neccessary. "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" Back-up is on the way as "First To Believe" hits, Jade Rodez leading the way for Japan's finest imports, D*LUX! "Showtime" Shayne and "Tremendous" Tyler raise the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles over head as Jade strikes a pose in between her charges, pointing the boyband duo on to the ring. And like any good team, they oblige. BUFFER Accompanied by MS. JADE RODEZ! Total combined weight, three hundred eighty eight pounds... the reigning three-time HI-YAH WORLD Tag Team Champions... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE... they are D*LLLLLUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Tyler and Shayne stop at the bottom of the ramp and exchange an awkward look with former rival, Jamie O'Hara. Apparantly O'Hara remembers being put out of action by the duo in the summer (although how many of you remember is argueable) and barely acknowledges them. The trio then wait, as the Texas stylings of "Thriller" by Fallout Boy hits and the.. ...hang on... ...okay, you didn't read wrong. "Thriller" by Fallout Boy really does hit next. Red and blue lights splash across the landscape, as an orange pyro missle descends from the peak of the overhead scoreboard and onto the entrance stage. It lands with tremendous impact, nearly deafening those spectators unlucky enough sit near it. Immediately after the powerful pyro display concludes the lights dim to a troubling blackness. The home audience is shown an overhead view of the entrance stage, it's metallic floor carpeted by simmering flames that form the shape of a bull's head. The camera then pans downward to reveal the rugged tag team known as The Lonestar Gunslingers and their manager Melody Nerdly! COLE Well, this is... different. COACH Yeah, but let's face it, it's a good different. COLE From who's perspective? COACH Anyone with a penis? Jock Mulligan seems distracted, looking around for the destination of the music as if he suspects a mix-up in the production truck. Baron Windels takes it all in his stride though, as Melody strikes a pose between her new team and point them onto the ring. Unfortunately, The Slingers and Melody aren't quite as in synch as Jade and D*LUX, so they completely miss the signal. Jade shakes her head sadly, as Melody is forced to stop her men from flexing their well toned upper bodies and focus on her, again pointing them to the ring and this time getting a response. BUFFER And finally, being accompanied to the ring by MELODY NERDLY! From San Antonio, Texas... at a total combined weight of four hundred and ninety seven pounds... BARON WINDELS and "THE TEXAS TWISTER" JOCK MULLIGAN... THE LONE STAR GGUUUUUUUUUUUNN - SSSSLLLIIIIIIINNGGEEEEEERRRRRRSSSSSS!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Clad in her Texas tinted red flannel shirt, Daisy Duke shorts and cowgirl boots, Melody calls her team in for a last quick strategy session. We can't really hear what it entails, but both Jock and Baron look even more confused than they started afterwards, shrugging their shoulders to each other as good friends Melody and Jade take their place in their multi-man team's corner. COLE So, ten man tag team action here on HeldDOWN~! This could very well break down in a heartbeat and I certainly don't envy referee Charles Robinson, who I guess came up with the short straw in the referee's locker room. COACH Read: generator room. With all ten men in the ring, poor Charles is left to try and enforce the rules. 'One in, four out'. Reject doesn't waste much time in going to his corner, which frustrates O'Hara who was in the middle of convincing his partner to let him start, just to get Reject. In end though, it's "Sweet" Lucius Soul starting out for 'Team Reject', while "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant opts to open for 'Team O'Hara'. *DINGDINGDING!* Soul and Tyler circle as their respective partners route them on from the apron, creating quite an atmosphere. The two men eventually go in for a lock-up. But Soul ducks out at the last second, swooping underneath Tyler's arms and quickly producing a 'fro pick, in order to fix his hair! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MELODY That's whack, yo! Tyler just shakes his head as Soul takes his time over his haircare regime, eventually tucking the comb back away and finally deciding to lock up. He gets the better of it too, pulling Tyler down into a side headlock. Before he can gloat too much though Tyler is out, landing some shots to the ribs before pushing Soul off into the ropes. Drop down by Tyler, forcing Soul up and over, the Louisana native picking up speed as he dives at The Tremendous One... and gets snared out of mid-air with an armdrag! Soul bounces right back up, into a second armdrag! And a final third, DEEP armdrag, Tyler hanging on this time to the applause of Jade Rodez! COLE Arm-BAR! Pulling Lucius to his feet, Tyler keeps the arm barred as he allows Shayne Brave to tag in. Together the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions then set Lucius up with a double irish whip, catching him on the rebound with a HIGH Double Hiptoss! COLE Wow, Lucius got airborne on that one! Not done yet, Tyler milks the 5 count for all it's worth and to be honest beyond, pressing Shayne into the air as he runs the ropes and letting him drop across Lucius' chest! Tyler leaves, as Shayne covers... 1... 2... No! Popping back to his feet, Shayne wrings out the arm again. This time Lucius is able to escape with a jab to the face though, returning the arm wringer favour on "Showtime" and sending him into a neutral corner with an irish whip. Soul then gets himself a run-up and rushes across the ring, leaping and spinning through the air with the Soul Brother Splash... into two boots to the chest!! Away staggers Soul, as Shayne hops to the middle rope and lands a front missile dropkick from the second floor, putting Lucius down for another cover... 1... 2... No! Again Shayne is quickly back up and quick to keep Lucius in check as he lands a forearm. And a second. With Lucius staggering on the spot Shayne then hits the ropes, looking for a final shot to put him down. Lucius cuts him off at the pass with a quick boot though, hitting the side ropes and bringing up the knee, Million $ style! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Good job Theodore Moneymaker isn't a litiguous man. COLE Nevermind Ted DiBiase. COACH Who? Shayne goes tumbling across the ring, which allows Lucius time to make the tag, bringing in Waldo for his team. Quickly Waldo enters, but he's forced to pause for a second until Shayne is back to his feet, the second delay proving costly as Shayne counters his eventual charge with a drop toehold! Waldo's face bounces off the canvas, Shayne already coming off the ropes. With Waldo on his way back up Shayne ends up hopping onto his shoulders, forcing Waldo to aid him on the way up into an Electric Chair position. The oohs and aahs from the fans are premature however, as Waldo tugs on the ankles and yanks Shayne right back down, face-first into the canvas with a sickening thud! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Rolling Shayne over, Waldo makes a lateral press... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Quick tag is made, Waldo bringing in his fellow Five Burrougher, Quincy. Waldo then pulls Shayne to his feet and whips him into the ropes, dropping down and forcing Shayne up and over the top, right into a Leg Lariat from Quincy on his way in! COLE Great teamwork from The Burrough Boys. And a cover... 1... 2... No! No time to let up, Quincy pulls Shayne right back to his feet. Front facelock applied, Quincy executes a quick snap suplex, putting "Showtime" right in position. Lifting up a foot Quincy then allows Reject to tag himself into the match, keeping hold of Shayne's head and preventing him from rolling away, before Reject has run the ropes and landed the ROLLING THUNDER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH And more great teamwork from The Burrough Boys. That's how they do Cole, word is born! Bronx stand UUUUUUUP! COLE Stop that. Reject climbs back to his feet and exuding arrogance he turns to Jamie O'Hara, adopting a weak b-boy stance which draws The Birmingham Bad Boy into the ring! His partners try to hold him back but O'Hara gets away and has to be restrained by Charles Robinson, along with the men previously trying to keep the peace as Waldo, Quincy, Soul and Rico all start to put the boots to Shayne Brave!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Four on one behind the referee's back, this is what I was talking about earlier! Nothing Charles Robinson can really do, but that's no consolation to the four men he's having to restrain. Even Jade and Melody get in on the act, although Melody's suggestions to her Gunslingers to 'waste that blond haired dweeb' are hardly helpful. Eventually Robinson does manage to get some control though, Reject's team exiting as O'Hara's team do, allowing Robinson to count Reject's pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Tag is made again, Reject bringing Waldo back in. Together they pull Shayne Brave to his feet, looking to whip him out of their corner, only to fake out and drag him right back by the arms, spine-first into the turnbuckles! Out of the line of vision, Lucius grabs the waistband of Shayne's orange denim jeans to keep him from escaping, Waldo firing off some kicks to the ribs until Robinson's count reaches four and he has to back off. "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" The only man yet to enter for his team, Rico now asks for the tag and gets it, the porn 'stache getting a good stroking down as he enters the ring. As Lucius releases Shayne he staggers out of the corner, dropped by a double thrust to the throat by Rico. And some more stroking of the porn 'stache follows, drawing rapturous applause from his team-mates and his team-mates alone. COACH I noticed Rico didn't come out with any beads tonight. I wonder how many sets he must have got through on Tuesday, I know he told me he was stocking up especially. COLE He told you that? COACH Yeah, me and Lucius are tight, I've got the inside scoop. COLE And yet they didn't invite you along. COACH You know how much a plane ticket to Brazil costs Mikey? We're tight, we ain't attached at the hip or nothing. As Rico swaggers around and takes his time following up on Brave, he almost pays for it as he fires off a punch to the gut! And another! And a third, only to be clubbed back into submission by de Janeiro and dragged back to his feet. A gutwrench and a suplex plants Shayne, Rico retaining body to body contact for the cover... 1... 2... No! Always a fresh man in ten man tags, Rico decides to make the tag to his regular tag partner, Lucius Soul. Together The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew shoot "Showtime" into the ropes and drop him with double elbows on the way back. Rico then provides his partner with a leg up, assisting him in a Standing Moonsault! 1... 2... SAVE BY O'HARA!! O'HARA C'MON, MAN UP GEEZ'! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Jamie O'Hara not reknowned for a cool head, he's itching to get into the action here. As O'Hara is sent back to the corner, Shayne does indeed start to try and 'man up' as his partner so eloquently put. A couple of headbutts to the stomach manage to fend Lucius off and seeing an opening Shayne starts to scramble for his corner... ...but Lucius catches the leg and grapevines it, reaching out and JUST finding himself in range for Quincy to tag in. And up to the top he springboards, Soul keeping Shayne grounded as Quincy soars in with a Springboard Elbow Drop to the upper back! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jade shakes her head on the floor as Shayne is left flattened, Quincy putting the boots to him to make sure there's no repeat of his attempts to tag, just yet. The Q-Man (?) then makes the tag to Waldo to set up another double team attempt. COLE Well, the thing about 10 Man Tags is that you can get frequent tags, because there's more fresh men and they're further down the apron. Which is working out fine for The Burrough Boys and Mardi Gras, but not so well for Shayne Brave and co. The two Burrough Boys drag Shayne up, lifting him up and bringing him down across the knees in a move remarkably similar to D*LUX's Cowell Movement. That sets Shayne up as Waldo and Quincy then hit the ropes on opposite sides, Quincy coming in from the front with a low dropkick to the knee, while Waldo connects with a Facecrusher, the combination of the moves causing Shayne's forehead to SPIKE into the canvas!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Very innovative double-team there. And there's the cover by Waldo... 1... 2... NO! Waldo loses his cool with the referee and yells at him to speed up the count, but Robinson insists it was only two. Frustrated, Waldo tags in Reject and lets him deal with what's left of Brave, the former X-Division Champion only too happy to oblige. "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" Smirking at the reaction from the Baltimore crowd, Reject decides to toy with Shayne a little, slapping him around the head. Reject then backs off as Shayne fights doggedly to his feet, firing off a kick. Shayne catches the leg, but it seems like he was merely being fed it, as Reject then pops up with the other leg... ...DUCKED! The Enziguri misses the mark and Reject faceplants into the canvas! Bouncing right back up, Reject is clearly winded and Shayne catches him, hooking the head with a SUDDEN DDT, spiking Reject RIGHT ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD LIKE A TENTPOLE, to the shock of Reject's teammates!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE IMPLANT DDT!! Man, Reject got PLANTED into the canvas! And now, Shayne Brave must make the tag! Which is just what Shayne Brave tries to do, as the crowd goes clap-happy, encouraged by Tyler Bryant and Jade Rodez's seperate rhythms. Reject is fresher of the two but after the DDT, it's pretty even, Reject coming to his senses as Shayne gets halfway across the ring and rolling over near his corner. He's dazed though and doesn't realise just how close he is... ...tag to Lucius... ...and a tag... TO JOCK MULLIGAN, Shayne bypassing O'Hara to do so! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" MELODY *MARKS OUT*!! COACH Did she actually just say 'marks out'. COLE I guess so. In real life, you can't see asterisks... but anyway, HOT TAG!! For the first time Jock Mulligan is in and he is a TEXAN HOUSE OF FIRE, laying out Lucius with a hard right hand! In comes Quincy, also eating a right hand! And ditto for Rico de Janeiro, Waldo laying in the weeds but running straight into a BAAAAACKbody drop!! COLE And The Texas Twister is tearing through everything in his path! How fitting! Jock doesn't seem concerned that he's fighting four on one odds and goes right back after Lucius Soul, hurling him into the ropes. And on the way back he fells Soul with an AXE BOMBER, taking Soul clean off of his feet and far across the ring. However it's not long before the numbers catch up with Jock and both Rico and Quincy jump him from behind, which prompts Baron Windels to run in to save his partner. Just the excuse O'Hara needs to run in and target Reject and wouldn't you know it, IT'S BREAKIN' DOWN IN BALTIMORE!!! COLE It's a pier-ten brawl out there now! COACH This is what we wanna see, a little bit of chaos! The seperate brawls don't take long to spill out of the ring and to the floor, along with a solo Baron Windels, leaving Jock alone with Lucius and Quincy. Luckily for Jock, Lucius is still down though and he manages to duck the clothesline from Quincy, The Texas Twister doing a quick 360 and KOing Quincy with the Discus Punch! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Unfortunately, that allows Lucius to attack from behind though and he clubs away at Mulligan, beating him down with forearm after forearm before eventually loading him off into the ropes. Up goes Lucius with a Bicycle Kick. Jock safely sweeps underneath it however, catching Soul under the armpits and hurling him overhead with a Belly To Belly Suplex! COLE Well according to these notes that Melody Nerdly acossted me with earlier, we're to call that the 'One Thousand, Three Hundred and Thirty Seven Pwnage' from now on. Or, should that be 'Leet Pwnage'? Again, I'm sure it makes more sense on the internet. COACH Are those notes written in crayon? After that 1337 Pwnage of his opponent, Mulligan is apparantly ready to end it and gives the signal for the Iron Claw Hold! Trouble is, Melody Nerdly thinks that it's a business exposing move that doesn't really hurt all that much, climbing to the apron and giving the signal for Jock to instead hit 'one of those shooting star doo-hickeys all the kids are doing'. Understandably Jock doesn't think much of that idea though and tells Melody to get down, turning around... ...into the EULOGY!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Reject with the Eulogy!! Reject pops right back to his feet off the move, only to notice Shayne Brave up and stalking him. Foolishly he begins to jog over, only stopping as Shayne elbows him in the gut, hooks the head and SPIKES Reject again, this time with a Snapmare Driver "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE SHAYNEDROP! However, as soon as Shayne rolls through to his feet, he gets a knee to the kidneys from Quincy. Inverted front facelock on, Quincy spins Shayne through and rolls the dice! TANOOKI SUIT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" It's Quincy's turn to take his eye off the action and pay for it now. Tyler Bryant lands a boot and turns back to back, hooking up the arms. And with a twist he gets Quincy up on his back, hovering him over the canvas for a moment before executing the RECORDBREAKER!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE RIGHT ON HIS HEAD~! Quincy goes limp and stays down, but Tyler can't capitalise with a cover. Waldo is in and spins Tyler around, slicing him down with a Flatliner! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Predictably though, the action is ahead of Waldo's plans and he falls victim to a boot from Baron Windels, who wraps on a front facelock and PLANTS him with a Leaping DDT! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The Brigham Young Cocktail!! COACH ?? Faster than you can say 'Baron's gonna get nailed', Baron gets nailed, swept down with an STO by Rico de Janeiro, right into the RICO VICE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rico should know better than to take his eyes off the match however, as the shadow of Jamie O'Hara looms over him on the top rope, tumbling through the air AND CRASHING DOWN ACROSS HIS CHEST WITH THE 630 SPLASH!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" O'Hara comes right back up and eats a BICYCLE KICK from Lucius Soul however, sending him flying backwards through the ropes and to the floor!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH This is crazy! COLE No kidding, Lucius is the only man standing right now! Taking a quick look around, Lucius realises just that and picks his spot, taking Shayne Brave by the hair and dragging him from underneath the bottom rope. A good choice, as having taken the brunt of the punishment in the match he's unable to prevent being lifted up onto his shoulders. Lucius does a quick spin, checking the ring for any more men to deal with, before finally throwing Shayne up and CRACKING him in the face with a knee on the way down!! COACH FRO 2 SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP-UH~! Everybody is down. And despite Melody and Jade's encouragement, none of Shayne's partners show any signs of life, as Lucius makes the cover, the legal men no longer relevant or remembered by referee Charles Robinson... 1... 2... 3!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Holy cow, they did it! Lucius Soul pins one half of the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions, The Mardi Gras parade rolls on! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Here are your winners... the team of REJECT, WALDO, QUINCY and THE MARDI GRAS HHHOOOOOOOMMMEEE - WWWRRREEEECCKKIIIINNGG CCRRRRREEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWii! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lucius quickly retrieves Rico and drags him out of the ring, propping his winded partner up and telling him he got the victory, which is consolation enough for the possible busted ribs. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew direct their celebrations towards the disgusted duo of Melody and Jade as they help each other up the ramp, abandoning Reject, Waldo and Quincy, although I'm sure they're glad of the victory. COLE Well, it turned into a melee in the end and Lucius Soul came out of it with his hand raised. The Mardi Gras celebrations roll on for another few days yet at least and what a way to bounce back from their defeat to Los Diablos a couple of weeks ago. COACH No doubt. And it's at the expense of one of the HI-YAH Tag Champs. That's D*LUX, to add onto The Heavenly Rockers, Lucius and Rico are on a roll! COLE I'm not sure you can count this as a victory over D*LUX as such. But I'll agree, they're making waves here in the OAOAST and surely it's only a matter of time before they're in title contention. As Rico and Soul continue to make their way up the aisle... ...we fade backstage, to Todd Cortez standing by a monitor and watching on. Just as he turns to leave though, he finds himself face to face with Landon Maddix, The Next Generation smiling from ear to ear. Megan is there too, but there's no smile from her, probably because Todd is around. MADDIX Did you see that? CORTEZ Yea... MADDIX Did you SEE that!? I'm telling you, those titles are as good as ours! It might only be at the expense of a couple of MTV Flux rejects, but we are going to be World Tag Team Champions again, mark my words. I mean, we proved ourselves more than worthy last week, right? Maddix winks and slaps Cortez on the chest, which is meant as playful, although whether Todd agrees is argueable. MADDIX Last week, we showed teamwork. We showed understanding. And we showed we're still capable of declaring Martial Law on any tag team going! I don't quite know what that means, but who cares!? CORTEZ What's your point here, because I've got a date... MADDIX A date? Buddy, forget about the cheap fluzies, we've got a date with DESTINY! CORTEZ ...a date with my mom. Groaning in the background, Megan should really be used to Landon putting his foot in it by now. But, it's always so, so painful. The pain isn't over yet though, oh no. MADDIX You know, there's laws against that kind of thing. Yep, ouch. MADDIX I kid, I kid! (Ed: Oh, thank God!) Enjoy yourself. Wine her, dine her... draw the line somewhere around there though. Like I say, there are laws. Besides, I actually came to tell you that I'm not going to be in need of your 'teamwork' tonight. I've got Longdogger in that X-Division Title Tournament and trust me, I haven't forgotten all the times he bad mouthed me on SWF commentary while you and me were... well... CORTEZ When we were destroying each other week in and week out? MADDIX Yeah. And it's not No DQs, so it's not worth the risk. So, you've got the week off from watching my back, that's pretty much what I came to say. That and the gloating thing. CORTEZ Of course. MADDIX Listen, just make sure you're going to be in Cleveland on Saturday, I've got this HI-YAH Tag thing all sorted out. I'll see you then! Landon kinda trails off, mainly because Megan is literally hauling him away by the arm, not interested in being around Cortez any longer than she has to. Cortez just shakes his head, gathering up his bag and nodding his head. CORTEZ Like I need another reason to be there... (Back to SC) COLE Maddix looks con.... The camera cuts back.... COLE Oh COME ON! I can't even make a point before another backstage promo?NO! The camera cuts back to The Lightning Crew dressing room where Stephen Joseph Popick and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican are sitting on the sofa with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Lindsay is thinking something over. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ So, you want me to start thinking about my wrestling career? STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Yes, Lindsay! Do this for The Lightning Crew! LINDSAY Well... "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Lindsay, think about it. What better way to begin our life as husband and wife then as Champions? We could be the GOLDEN Couple of the OAOAST? Huh? Wouldn’t that be so sweet? Huh? Wouldn’t it? Huh? LINDSAY Hmmm... Lindsay stands up and looks at P.R./Popick. LINDSAY All right! I’ll do it! I’m gonna win the Women’s Title! I’m gonna march up to Ashley Street right now and demand a title shot! PRL All right, Lindsay! That’s what I want to hear! Go get her, Lindsay! HA! HA! HA! HA! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Yeah! Thanks P.R.! Lindsay kisses P.R. LINDSAY You too, Popick! Lindsay hugs Popick. POPICK Hey, anytime! LINDSAY All right. See you guys, later! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez walks away. Popick and PRL watch her walk out the door. Popick smiles. PRL looks at him. PRL Hey, you weren’t staring at her ass, were you? POPICK What!? Oh...er...ummm...no. No. No! Of course not! No! She’s your girl! I know that! No! No! No! No. No! PRL Okay. Just checking! POPICK (under his breath) Whew. Popick breathes a sigh of relief. PRL continues staring at the door. This is the last thing we see before we fade out.FADE OUT* COMMERCIAL BREAK * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 (Cut to a foreground shot of a bridge at night. You can hear the river flowing underneath it, as the trees are swayed by the wind. The camera pans over to show Sly Sommers sitting on the edge of the bridge.) SLY Two nights...forty-eight hours...the clock ticking in the background. Zack...it all ends in forty-eight hours. All the years of my pain and anguish, all held in the background. That cloud that's hounded me for all of these years. Never being able to look over my own shoulder without duking up a fist, never being able to close my eyelids without seeing your face embedded in the back of them, never being able to step into a ring without thinking of putting a rope around your neck and choking you to death...all of that's over in forty-eight hours. See, I'm going to beat Zack Malibu. This isn't some empty pro wrestling threat...this isn't a promise. It's a reality. I cannot live without beating Zack into a pulp. I cannot exist without his blood on my hands and being able to listen to his last breath. On Saturday night, I will win. It's a truth. Every demon, every bad memory, every wrong I've been done...it'll ALL go away! Every tear I shed, every bead of blood I sweat...it'll all be erased from history. I've been given an opportunity to erase and change history, something no other man has ever been able to do. On Saturday, while Malibu'll be fighting to just survive and be able to go onto his big fanfare and his Anglemania moment, I'll be fighting to stay alive! I've given up any hope of winning a World Title or getting a moment on the biggest stage of them all. I've flushed my career down the toilet, but I know it. That's what makes me dangerous. I've got nothing to live for and am willing to die to end you. On Saturday...(waves at the camera) Goodbye, Zack. (Sly then pulls a bottle of Jack Daniels out of his pocket. He takes one last swig, then throws it off of the bridge. You can hear the glass shatter as it hits the river bank.) SLY Goodbye, old friend... (Sly turns around and gets up off of the bridge edge, then walks off, out of camera shot, as the camera zooms in on the water flowing in the river.) COLE Sly Sommers has held a grudge against Zack Malibu for over three years and this Saturday night, he's got a chance to finally get into the ring with him. I hate to say it, but with a huge opportunity coming in a little over a month at AngleMania, Zack is taking a giant risk in accepting this challenge. COACH But Zack is supposed to be a MAN! He's one of the gutsiest men ever to lace up a pair of boots. Just ask him. COLE Josh Matthews is backstage with Zack, so let's throw it to him. *TOSS* JOSH MATTHEWS J. Math comin' at ya from backstage, and I'm here with the man considered to be the franchise player of the OAOAST, the one and only ZACK MALIBU! Zack, you've got an off-night tonight when it comes to in-ring action, but Saturday night on Syndicated, you're going to go against a guy whose got quite a chip on his shoulder when it comes to you, Sly Sommers. MALIBU Josh, it goes like this. What it all boils down to is petty jealousy. Sly's a hell of an athlete, and he can talk a good game, but all he's done is used those qualities to paint everyone else as a bad guy, myself more than anyone. Sly's not taking any responsibility for his own actions, for his own boredom within the industry, and now that he's got a fire under his ass again, he's called me out. After ending that bitter, personal war with Blank, winning the Lethal Rumble this year, and trying to smooth things over with the SWF. I've got Anglemania right around the corner with another guy who talks a good game and paints himself as a victim, when he's the one victimizing this company and holding the World Championship hostage. Guys like him and Sly Sommers, they do this because they want to make a name for themself. Even they realize that they aren't what they hype themselves up to be, and place the blame on someone else. Someone else wronged them, someone held them down...it's ALWAYS someone, and never the person themself. Sly, you and I have been up and down the road as friends, and more recently, as enemies. Two years ago, things were a little different, I admit it. I might have had a different mindset, a different outlook on things, and I've moved on from that...but you haven't. So do something about it. I'm giving you exactly what you want, because this Saturday one of two things are going to happen...we can tear each other apart and I can stand over you and finally prove to you that you're your own worst enemy, or you can leave me in a bloody heap, get out all that frustration, and ascend to the top of this company in my place. You have an open invitation to bring your A-game, Sly, because I'll have mine with me. No more backtalk, no more politicking, no more "shoots" as some would call it...just me and you and whatever we can use. It's no holds barred, but it's also no turning back. This is what you wanted, Sly. This is YOUR time. Take advantage of it while, and IF, you can. Malibu, more serious than ever, walks away, leaving Josh Matthews to look a little uneasy, knowing that Malibu means every word he says. COACH You know, if Zack would just stop pissing off everyone he comes into contact with, he wouldn't have to get into so many blood feuds. COLE Now let's head backstage once again where Terry Taylor is with the only two people keeping him employed, Alix Maria Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan. And we're whisked backstage where comedic prop extraordinare, Terry Taylor is chillin like a villain in the low budget interview area. He's outfitted in the geekiest of attire, white sweat pants, a gold Anglemania jersey, and thick rimmed glasses. Standing next to him are the much more pleasing sites of tag team champions, Alix and Krista. Alix has packed her figure into a faded green Abercrombie hoodie, and a heavily destroyed denim mini skirt. Krista stylishly models a pair of True Religion jeans, overloaded with all over fray distress, and a Primp Lion pink hoodie, which features cute little lions sprinkled all across the fabric. Fashionable. Very. TAYLOR Ladies and gentlemen, Terry Taylor here with oaoast tag team champions, Chicks Over Dicks. As we all know, it's the biggest award season of the year, as all eyes are turned upon Hollywood, where the 79th Academy Awards will be decided this Sunday night. But just a day before that (or a couple days after that, depending on if the shooting permit holds up), a prize almost as important as an Oscar, the oaoast world tag team titles will be contested by Los Angeles natives the South Central Militia and Chicks Over Dicks in the first ever Battle of Los Angels match, broadcasted from Warner Brothers' studio in Burbank, California. The match follows similar rules to a regular contest, pinfalls, and submissions win the bout. But the entire studio functions as the ring, and anything the competitors can get their hands on can be used to win the match. As the lead announcer for the title bout I for one am personally looking forward to it, and not just because I might be able to get Daffy Duck's autograph! KRISTA Back the stupidity train into the station of unadulterated ignorance for a second. I'm sorry but did you just claim that a professional wrestling title was as important as the Academy Awards? Because if you did, I'd probably have run you over repeatedly with my Toyota Prius, and I'd hate to do that kind of thing twice in one day. TAYLOR I said almost! KRISTA Almost as in Hillary Swank is almost as good an actress as Naomi Watts, or almost as in Paris Hilton is almost as good an actress as the Oscar nominated and all around kick ass Meryl Streep? TAYLOR The latter. Good lord, definitely the latter. I don't have the health insurance for it to be the former! KRISTA Good boy. TAYLOR Now, girls, your opponents for the Battle of Los Angeles, the South Central Militia, Vincent “Whitey” Santana, and One Eye Wallace, abused a good hearted charity auction to secure their tag title rematch. What do you.... ALIX Slow down, go down, got to get your lovin one more time! I don't think they're actually watching this, Terry! So I'm gonna scream, extra, extra super sized loud so that they can hear me loud and clear! Vinny, Marcy, I'm totally aware of the miserable plight that faces the Los Angeles public school system, and I'm sooooo sensitive to the fact that your schools probably never ever taught you how to work this fancy, newfangled, invention those of us who didn't get our last meal (and our last sexual act for that matter) from a dumpster behind Dairy Queen, call the Television. Can you say that? Tel-e-vision. Goodie goodie gum drops! Now I want you to go find a black or grey box. Within that box will be a dark grey plane of glass. That's a TV! No, silly boys, you're not on the TV, that's your reflection! Reflection starts with an R. R comes after..uh..actually I don't know what R comes after. Who cares this isn't Reading Rainbow. Go ahead and wave to your reflection! It's waving back! That's totally amazing, huh? Well, that's what your reflection does! Now do you see a little button that says “ON”? O-N. Keep looking, Vinny. No that's volume, no that's a donut, no that's Gene Okerlund's liver spot, no that's the stuck together pages of Terry Taylor's Seventeen magazine, and we don't judge his sick fixation on sixteen year old pop starlet JoJo around here, so keep hunting for that o-n button, kiddos. Okay, you're getting warmer, you're warmer, you're hot, you're hot, so, so, so hot, you're phat, you're crunk, you're hyphy, you're FERGILICIOUS..DEFINITION MAKE THEM BOYS GO LOCO....you got it! Now press it, gently, very gently! You did it! Now our beautiful, award winning, newest Revlon covergirls faces are right in front of ya. Waaaaait....Vinny, stop that! Don't lick the screen, we're not really there. Oh god no! No! That disgusting! Marcellus, you pull your pants up right this minute, young man, that is not how we conduct ourselves here in the hallowed halls of the OAOAST! Ooookay, well, there you have it boys, and uh...boys, the exciting world of prime time low rated cable television wrestling at your fingertips. So concludes todays lesson. But, uh, don't get the impression that I'm some kinda of dorky bookish sort......y'know, with pocket protectors and membership in the chess club who never gets laid...I do other things, I have other interests, like standing in front of 7-11 and selling marijuana to fifth graders. TAYLOR Well, Alix, I'm sure the Militia are very appreciative of your lesson in modern technology. But I for one think that they are a couple of, pardon my frankness, disrespectful jerks... ALIX Disrespectful jerks? Wow, dude, careful there, that envelope might take itself a tumble with the way you're recklessly pushing it! Hammer don't hurt 'em! TAYLOR Krista, as someone who can more articulately state her distaste for those with a y chromosome then I, I'd like to get your thoughts on the Militia. No doubt, they're mighty tough foes, who have given many oaoast tag teams fits. They are, after all, a pair of very bad men. KRISTA Woah! Here I was, a simpleton of the highest order, thinking that after the announcers repeated that same line ad nauseum every time the viewers of America were unlucky enough to suffer the cruel and unusual punishment of a south central militia match, that that point had hit home, took a nice bubble bath, watched some Leno, checked it's e-mail, dropped some comments on Facebook, and fell asleep. When in reality it was standing on the lone highway of thoughts, cold, alone and miserable, desparetly trying to hitch its way towards "No Shit" city. But then you, a hero amongst heroes, rode along in your "Statingthefuckingobvious” mobile and decided to drive it home at 100 mph. Thank you, dear sir, for without your kind services and good heart, who knows at what time the point would have gotten home. Alix, a true American hero stands among us hedonistic Zionists and far left commie thought terrorists. Show respect for a patriot! ALIX (singing. poorly.) Got in a little hometown jam, so they put a rifle in maaah haaand, sent me off to a foreign laaaand, to go and kill the yellow maaaan, Boooooorn in the u.s.aaaaaa., I was boooooorn in the u.s.aaaaa.! TAYLOR God damn it, Krista, you're a hateful temptresses. But I'll make a woman out of you, if it kills me. Now then, I have to believe that you're somewhat upset that the Militia have corrupted the spirit of what was supposed to be an auction that spread the message of peace and understanding. Am I right? KRISTA How could I be mad at the SCM? It warms the coffers of my blackened cancerous heart, to know that while I continue to lead the life of an insane alcoholic recluse hellbent on a prolonged suicidal spiral into a booze filled abyss , there are peeps out in the world that have a firm lip lock on life's rock hard phallus and refuse to let go till they've deep throated every last droplet of that fun-loving, wealth providing seed. Drink up, South Central Militia! Let the piping hot sperm of achievement trickle down your thirsty gullet of success! Terry, how could I ever hold any ill will towards Vincent Santana and his chocolate prince, Marcellus One Eye Wallace? Possibly wasting my weekend, for absolutely no extra money or real purpose, by handing the SCM their asses at the studio that produced such thought provoking, and emotionally riveting fare as Osmosis Jones, Catwoman, and Malibu's Most Wanted may be that unattainable high that I know I'll never reach again. What a couple of punkass bitches. ALIX Yeah! You tell 'em my honey covered love biscuit! TAYLOR Punkass bitches? Krista, you just said.... KRISTA It's called Sarcasm, Terry, maybe if you had the capacity to actually be entertaining, you might one day be able to utilize it. Until then, keep your chin up and keep shooting for that rainbow, young buck. But what I'm about to tell you is the realness, coming for you, too fast, too furious. I'd call the Militia worthless pieces of shit, but the esteemed fecal category is an honor that should only be reserved for golden nuggets such as yourself, Bill O'Reiley, Tim Hardaway, or Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker. Unfortunately, I think One Eye and the skinny white meth addict, I forgot his name, have successfully rammed their way through the doors of the pieces of shit hall of fame, because the eternal case of diarrhea that is the Militia continues to undulate the Los Angeles area with it's special brand of festering, rotten, discolored, fecal water. Well, as a tax paying resident of the City of Angels, I say it's high time for an enema of epic proportions. In the gene pool of my fair city, they're the urine spot left by the retarded fat kid, and thus the rest of the denizens can only thank god herself that we are not them. ALIX Power to the people, my golden haired sugar fairy! KRISTA Militia, what I, Krista Isadora Duncan, soon to be PhD, author of an insanely popular advice column on Cosmo's website, and maker of one hell of a tuna casserole suggest that you do, is instead of showing up for a Battle of Los Angles match, you stay where you live, right on 90th street in South Central LA, because as far as I, your queen and ruler, am concerned that is your entire world, that is your entire Los Angeles. Your Los Angeles begins at Sweet Lou's chop suey, and ends several steps later at Chung's Exxon Mobile. Your Los Angeles doesn't have a Beverly Center, it doesn't have a Riot Hyatt, a Dodger Stadium, a Roxy, a Tower Records, or a Whiskey A Go Go. Your LA has a Popeyes, a Joe's Liquor and bail bonds, a Blockbuster that's so out of date they still rent Colecovision, and a one eyed hooker with a third nipple that everyone visits, but won't admit it. ALIX One eyed? Hooker? Third Nipple? With? Hey, you know my Aunt Lucinda! Tell her little Ally said hi! KRISTA (cont) That's your LA, 90th street, nothing else. Everything outside of 90th is my LA, and mine alone. And if you bums cross that thin red line into Krista Isadora Duncan's territory, for any reason whatsoever, I promise you that I will lodge everyone of my five hundred pairs of shoes right up your ass. You'll eat Lacoste, shit Juicy Couture, spit Guess, piss Taryn Rose, vomit Adidas, and breathe Kenneth Cole. So what I suggest you do, if you want to avoid a steady diet of six hundred dollar Kate Spade pumps, is forget the Battle of Los Angeles, go into Joe's Liquor and Bail Bonds, get yourself a bottle of Crown Royal, on me, sit your asses down on the curb and be thankful your queen even let you have that. I'm Krista Isadora Duncan, and I'm such a bad woman, AIDS is too scared to catch me. TAYLOR My word! SCM, if you have any idea of what's good for you, you'll stay on 90th street and 90th street alone! And if you happen to make your way down to Popeyes, pick me up a 12 strip dinner. Love that chicken from Popeyes! Fans, I'm Terry Taylor, and I will see you in Hollywood. Good night, and good health.Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 The camera cuts to the backstage area where Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is walking. Lindsay knocks on the door to the OAOAST Women’s lockerroom. When nobody answers, Lindsay knocks harder. Finally, she just goes ahead and opens the door, storming into the room to find Ashley Street doing some stretching on the floor. She stops her stretching once Lindsay arrives, and the two women stand face-to-face. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Listen here, BRUTA! I want to talk to you! ASHLEY STREET Ah, I know who you are. You’re Lindsay Gonzalez. The Lightning Crew’s hooker. LINDSAY That’s MISS Lindsay Gonzalez to you, and how DARE you insulate that I’m a hooker, you ¡perra estúpida! ASHLEY You going somewhere with this? LINDSAY Yeah. I want a shot at your title! Name the time and the place and I’m there! Ashley chuckles. LINDSAY What? What’s so funny!? ASHLEY You! You barge in here, demanding a title shot, after doing dilly squat your entire career, and you expect me to give it to you? I’ve spent the past year defending this Title around the world, becoming the longest reigning Women’s Champion in OAOAST history! What have you done in the past year? Posed in slutty outfits for magazines? LINDSAY I’m proud of my body, and I like to show it off! So don’t you dare criticize me, cuz you ain’t mah daddy! Now give me a title shot, NOW! ASHLEY How about...no! So, why don’t you and your implants take a walk on out of here, and leave the REAL women wrestlers alone! LINDSAY Why you-- Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez SLAPS Ashley Street across her right cheek! ASHLEY BITCH! Ashley spears Lindsay down, and the two girls get into a catfight! The crowd cheers! COACH Yes! Yes! Oh God, yes! Lindsay and Ashley tussle around on the floor, until the other women wrestlers come and break them up. It takes several of the wrestlers to hold Lindsay and Ashley respectively. The crowd boos! LINDSAY COME ON! COME ON! LET ME GO! I WANT SOME! I WANT SOME! LET’S GO CHICA! BRING IT ON! (Cut to Sofa Central with Double C.) COACH Yes! I love it! CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT! Cole slaps Coach upside the head! COLE Snap out of it! COACH Sorry! I can’t help it! I love a good catfight! Oh! Clothes flying! T&A! Oh God! I can’t take it! I can’t take it! Cole slaps Coach upside the head! He does it again! And again! And again! And again! And again! COLE I’m doing this for your own good, Coach! Cole finally stops bitchslapping Coach. Coach just stands there stunned. COLE All righty then. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez wants to become the Women’s Champion, but Ashley’s not gonna just give her a title shot just cuz. She-- Michael Cole is suddenly handed a note from an off screen producer. COLE Uh...thanks Marty. What’s this? (Cole reads the note) Well, word travels fast here in the OAOAST! Straight from AngleSault’s office, he has made a #1 Contenders Match for the OAOAST Women’s Championship this Saturday on Syndicated, pitting Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez against Confusia! COACH That’s a former Women’s Champion Lindsay is facing! COLE That’s right, and the same woman that Ashley beat to win the Title in February of *last* year! COACH That match actually happened? COLE Yes. And Pat Paterson actually won the WWF Intercontinental Title in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. COACH Oh. I got’cha. COLE Anyway, another match added to OAOAST Syndicated this Saturday! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, the 1st Lady Of The Lightning Crew, will take on Confusia with the winner to go on to AngleMania VI on April 1st to challenge Ashley Street for the OAOAST Women’s Championship! COACH Lindsay’s Road To AngleMania VI begins on February 24th! I can’t wait! COLE As we've been hyping all night, another huge Syndicated event is on tap for you this weekend. With a preview, here are Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura. SCHIAVONE Thank you very much, Michael. Not only do we have a preview of this week's edition of OAOAST Syndicated, we also have a very special interview with one of the all-time greats in the sport... VENTURA SCHIAVONE ...who is not Jesse Ventura. VENTURA If it ain't me, then who is it, Schiavone? SCHIAVONE You'll find out momentarily like everyone else. First we gotta run down the card. VENTURA Oh, God. Please tell me it's not Hogan. SCHIAVONE The card, Jesse! The card! VENTURA Hey, that's right. What a show we got for you this week. Exclusive highlights and matches from the ongoing H1 Grand Prix tournament; The Freebird vs. Scotty Static in a mask vs. hair match; Tha Puerto Rican vs. Dan Black in an X-Division title quarterfinal bout; No Holds Barred -- Sly Somers vs. the #1 contender to Drek Stone's OAOAST Championship Zack Malibu... SCHIAVONE And in our MAIN EVENT...! VENTURA The finals of the 2007 Anderson Cup: Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright vs. a true Cinderella team in every sense of the word, those lovable fruits from south of the border, Los Diablos de Fuego. SCHIAVONE And that and more this weekend on an extended edition of OAOAST Syndicated. Be sure to check your local listings for time and date. Speaking of the Anderson Cup, are you ready for our special guest? VENTURA Is it a woman? SCHIAVONE Wrong again. He's a legend in our sport... VENTURA I'm a legend. SCHIAVONE ...a former World tag team champion... VENTURA I'm a former tag team champion. SCHIAVONE ...with 4 different partners... VENTURA Well, I guess it really isn't me. SCHIAVONE I told you it wasn't. VENTURA Don't get condescending with me. Your lucky I even let you co-host my show. SCHIAVONE As I was saying, fans, a true legend in our sport, please welcome an original member of the 4 Horsemen..."THE ENFORCER" ARN ANDERSON!!! Once again unable to gain permission to use the Horsemen theme, Double A is accompanied by the OAOAST Legends theme. Met by a standing ovation Arn scoopes the arena, milking the moment for all it's worth before flashing the famous 4 fingers, the sign of the Horsemen. VENTURA It might not be me or a woman with a huge rack, but this is a pretty good surprise. One of the toughest men to ever step foot in the ring, Double A, Arn Anderson. Having made his way to the interview stage, Arn shakes hands with both Tony and Jesse, then holds up the 4 fingers once more to another loud ovation. ANDERSON I gotta tell you, outside of the Carolinas there isn't a more fitting place for yours truly to appear than right here in Baltimore. "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" ANDERSON But enough about me. My time has come and gone. Let's talk about the 2007 Anderson Cup -- and in my opinion, the best one yet. Out of 16 teams only 2 remain. The cinderella Los Diablos de Fuego and the team of Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker. Both young and hungry. I know some people will hold the fact Wright and Moneymaker tried to buy their way into the finals against them, but make no mistake about it, they earned their trip. Just look at the accolades of the teams they defeated -- The Love Doctors, HI-YAH tag champions; America's Team, Tag Team World Cup finalists; Black T, 3-time OAOAST tag team champions and arguably the greatest tag team in history. Their opponents are equally as worthy of advancing to the finals. As the old saying goes, don't judge a book by its cover. Los Diablos de Fuego might not be the biggest or strongest guys in the world, but they have a ton of heart and that can go along way in the greatest sport of them all, as I can attest to. SCHIAVONE Arn, I hate to put you on the spot, but who do you think is going to win? ANDERSON Boy, that's a tough one. Both teams have really impressed me. But everything seems to be pointing in the direction of Los Diablos de Fuego. First they take care of unfinished business with the Beverly Hills Blonds to reach the finals, now they're up against the man who put a bounty on their heads and the men who just happen to be close associates of the Blonds. VENTURA So you're picking Los Diablos? ANDERSON No, I'm going to have to say Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright. They remind me of me and Tully Blanchard in our hey day, only with a much better looking version of J.J. Dillion. I think they'll be able to slow down Los Diablos and keep them grounded for most of the match. If they can't do that then I see a Diablos win. Either way I expect a competitive final. SCHIAVONE Arn, thank you for your time. It's been a pleasure having you with us. ANDERSON Thank you, guys. I had a great time. Look forward to this weekend. SCHIAVONE As do we. Arn exits. VENTURA What about you, Schiavone? Who do you got? SCHIAVONE Los Diablos de Fuego. You? VENTURA Like Double A, I'm going with Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright. I expect Los Diablos to have an emotional letdown after an emotion win last week. Besides, haven't you heard how they've spent their time training, if you can even call it that. SCHIAVONE As a matter of fact, we're about to view that piece of footage. So without any further ado, here's a special video feature on how both teams are preparing for their match this weekend.AC/DC "Money Talks" Nighttime somewhere in the United States. A valet opens the door to the stretch limousine parked outside a 5-star hotel. A beavy of beauties emerge from the limo first, followed by THE ENTERPRISE, all of whom smoking cigars except CPA who provides security. Moneymakers hands the valet a wad of cash as he and his buddies head to their suite. Inside, the women entertain the guys in their bra and panties. In fact, if you didn't know any better you'd think they were strippers. Yeow! Tailored suits, chaufeured cars, Fine hotels and big cigars Up for grabs, all for a price, Where the red hot girls keep on Dancin' through the night. The claim is on you, the sights are on me, So what do you do, that's guaranteed? Hey little girl, you want it all, The furs, the diamonds, the paintings on the wall. From Mackenzie wandering the room in a mink fur coat and diamond jewerly counting money, to shots of Theodore making out with various women and him and CW kicking ass in the Anderson Cup. Come on, come on, lovin' for the money, Come on, come on, listen to the money talk Come on, come on, lovin' for the money, Come on, come on, listen to the money talk Then it's onto the home of Theodore Moneymaker, Money Manor. We see the maid tidying up the place and the chef working in the kitchen. A French maid, foreign chef, A big house, with kingsize beds. You had enough, you ship 'em out, The dollar's up, down, you better buy the pound. The claim is on you, the sights are on me, So what do you do? That's guaranteed Hey little girl, you break the laws, You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Clips of Mackie interfering in Enterprise bouts air, as well as more footage of Wright and Moneymaker taking care of business in the ring. Come on, come on, lovin' for the money, Come on, come on, listen to the money talk Come on, come on, lovin' for the money, Come on , come on, listen to the money talk Money talks, Yeah ! Inside the Enterprise hotel room, the Blonds lay exhausted on the kingsize bed as Moneymaker pays the women for their services, laughing as only he can. Even at play Wright is still at work crunching numbers. Come on, come on, lovin' for the money, Come on, come on, listen to the money talk Come on, come on, lovin' for the money, Come on, come on, listen to the money talk Money talks, talks, talks, Oh, here it comes, yeah, yeah, yeah! Money talk! Outside, CPA keeps the paparazzi at bay as the Enterprise return to their limo and drive off.The Pointer Sisters "I'm So Excited" Decked in pink tuxedos, Los Diablos de Fuego receive a hereos welcome as they cross the border into Mexico to party with friends and family. Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen Tonight we'll put all other things aside Give in this time and show me some affection We're going for those pleasures in the night I want to love you, feel you Wrap myself around you I want to squeeze you, please you I just can't get enough And if you move real slow, I'll let it go Helicopter searchlights provide electricity to the impromptu fiesta. Arm and arm, Moracca and Mariachi cozy up, then rip each other's clothes off before bumping and grinding against one another! I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it I'm about to lose control and I think I like it I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it And I know, I know, I know, I know I know I want you Video of Mackenzie DeCenzo heading to the ring with Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright is followed by clips of Los Diablos beating the snot out of the Beverly Hills Blonds in the Conference Finals. We shouldn't even think about tomorrow Sweet memories will last a long, long time We'll have a good time baby don't you worry And if we're still playing around boy that's just fine Highlights of Diablos Anderson Cup matches against the South Central Militia, Team Canada and Beverly Hills Blonds air, concluding with a staredown with Wright and Moneymaker from an episode of HeldDOWN~! Let's get excited, we just can't hide it I'm about to lose control and I think I like it I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it And I know, I know, I know, I know I know I want you, want you From partying on the border to Los Diablos lusting in their dressing room over pictures of Officer Tango Bosley and EMT Tim Cash, Rescue 911. If that isn't disturbing enough, Moracca and Mariachi tie-up Tony Brannigan against his will and scrub their tights across his washboard abs! I want to love you, feel you Wrap myself around you I want to squeeze you, please you I just can't get enough And if you move real slow, I'll let it go Back at the border party, Los Diablos pour beer all over themselves which the producer of this segment plays in slow-motion. To make up for it the video gets hardcore, showing a close-up of both Diablos bleeding to set up footage of their New Year's Spectacular Mexican Street Fight versus Los Conquistadors. I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it I'm about to lose control and I think I like it I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it And I know, I know, I know, I know I know I want you A shot of the OAOAST tag team titles are sliced with more footage of Los Diablos dishing out violence against the Blonds and Conquistadors. I'm so excited (look what you do to me) And I just can't hide it (you got me burning up) I'm about to lose control and I think I like it I'm so excited (look what you do to me) And I just can't hide it (I'm about to give it up) And I know, I know, I know, I know I know I want you The video ends with Tony Brannigan appearing out of nowhere to chase Los Diablos back across the border, and the Wright/Moneymaker-Diablos staredown from earlier.THIS WEEKENDANDERSON CUP FINALS Los Diablos de Fuego vs. Theodore Moneymaker & Christian WrightCommercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!Personal Jesus plays, and boos fill the arena as Landon Maddix walks to the ring. COLE Let's go to Michael Buffer and get the introductions for our next X-tournament match! BUFFERThe following contest is a first-round match in the tournament for the X-division title, scheduled for one fall! Coming down the aisle, hailing from Huron, South Dakota, weighing in at 208 pounds...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNN "LLLLLLLLA CUCARACHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMADDIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! COLE And an interesting matchup here, Coach, Longdogger Pete not your typical competitor in an X-division match! COACH That's right, Cole, X-division matches are typically fast-paced, Pete's got to keep Landon grounded here if he wants to have a chance! Landon climbs into the ring and spins around, HBK-style, as Baseline by Quarashi hits, and Longdogger Pete makes his way out, getting a nice hand. BUFFERHis opponent...hailing from Miami, Florida, weighing in at 277 pounds...LLLLLLLLLLLLONGGGGGGGGGGGDOGGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETE!!!!! Pete climbs into the ring and waves at the fans, then stands in his corner. The referee checks him, then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Landon and Pete circle the ring, then tie up. Landon starts to back Pete up, but Pete shoves him across the ring! COLE And Pete with a decided strength advantage, as we see there! Landon slides out of the ring, drawing boos from the crowd. He walks around to the other side of the ring, and re-enters. Landon grabs a side headlock, and Pete shoves him off into the ropes. Pete drops down, and then shoulderblocks him to the mat! Landon slides out once again, and takes another walk. COACH And Landon's just playing cat-and-mouse right now! Landon slides back in again, and grabs another side headlock. This time, Landon delivers a right to the face, then re-applies. Pete attempts a back suplex, but Landon slips out, and executes one of his own! COLE And some strenghth being shown here by Landon Maddix! Landon poses for the crowd, drawing boos. He then backs into the ropes, and goes for an elbow, but Pete rolls out of the way! COACH Nobody home on that elbow, though! Pete waits on Landon, then starts delivering right hands. After three rights, he winds up and delivers a fourth BIG right, knocking Landon to the mat! COLE And Pete starting to get some offense going now! Pete picks up Landon and wrings the arm, but Landon goes to the eyes. Landon then goes to the top rope... COLE And Landon going high risk early here! Landon comes off the top with a flying forearm! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Landon immediately starts to choke Pete on the mat, breaking at the referee's four-count. Landon gets to his feet, and executes a double-stomp/back senton combo! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Great quickness from Landon Maddix! Landon grabs a rear waistlock on the mat. However, Pete is able to get to his feet, and send Landon to the floor with a leverage move! COLE And a great counter by Pete right there! Pete follows Landon to the floor, and rams his face into the apron! He then rolls Landon back in, and plants him with a big bodyslam! Pete then drops an elbow! And a second! And a third! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Pete picks up Landon, and whips him into a corner. He charges, but Landon slips out of the way! As Pete staggers out, Landon backs into the ropes behind him, and executes a bulldog! COACH But how quickly the tide can turn, Cole! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Landon measures Pete as he gets to his feet, and clotheslines him to the floor! Landon poses in the ring, drawing boos. COLE And the advantage clearly with Landon Maddix at this point in time! Landon backs into the ropes, and hits Pete on the outside with a dive over the top rope! Both men land by the railing, and Landon grabs the railing and begins to stomp Pete. COACH And now Landon taking it to the floor! Landon picks up Pete, and shoves him into the steel post! COLE And Pete tasting the steel! Landon rolls Pete back into the ring, and lays him across the middle rope. He backs into the ropes, and leaps onto Pete! He then chokes him across the middle rope, breaking at the referee's four-count. Landon brings him out, and delivers the LANDON EYE~! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Landon gives grief to the referee, then picks up Pete and delivers a MACHO NECK SNAP~! Landon then climbs up onto the apron and goes to the top rope. COLE And Landon going for another high-risk move! Landon goes for a FROG SPLASH~!, but Landon gets his knees up! COLE And again it ends bad for Landon! Pete pulls himself to his feet, and lets out a big yell, which gets the crowd into it! COACH Uh-oh... COLE And Pete's fired up! Landon tries to beg off, but to no avail, as Pete delivers a foot to the gut, then whips Landon to the ropes. Pete catches Landon with a big backdrop! Pete follows up with a clothesline! And a second! And a third! He then lifts Landon on his shoulders, and executes a samoan drop! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Pete picks up Landon, and whips him into the ropes again. Landon slides underneath, and goes for a kick, which is caught by Pete. Landon quickly goes for an enziguri, which is also blocked by Pete, who goes to the PERFECT DARK~! COLE And look at Pete showing the quickness! 1... 2... Kickout! Pete levels Landon with a European uppercut! COACH Oof! Pete charges Landon at the ropes, but Landon ducks down and backdrops him to the floor! COLE And Landon with great prescence of mind, sending Pete to the outside! Landon gains his breath, allowing Pete to climb up to the apron. He tries to grab Pete, but Pete delivers a shoulderblock to the midsection, then slingshots himself over! COLE Sunset flip try! Landon drops down and drives a right hand into Pete, then grabs the ropes for the cover... 1... 2... ...the referee spots Landon's hands on the ropes, and stops his count! Landon raises his arms in the air, proclaiming innocence, and Pete rolls him over! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE Pete got it! Big win for Pete, as he advances! BUFFERThe winner of the match, advancing to the next round...LLLLLLLLLLLLONGGGGGGGGGGGDOGGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETE!!!!! Landon throws a fit in the ring, as Pete walks to the back. COLE Landon very upset, as Pete snuck one in on him, and now Vitamin X awaits Pete in the quarterfinals of the tournament! For the Coach, I'm Michael Cole! The quarterfinals start in two nights at Syndicated, and we'll see you there! Good night, folks!Fade to black Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 Credits Ed Wood Caulfield Tony149 King Cucaracha Phoenix Fury Legdrop Zack Malibu Patty O' Green AlfdoggThe Glue KingPK © 2007 OAOAST Entertainment. All rights reserved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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