Tony149 Posted March 9, 2013 Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!B-O-O-M~! COLE HeldDOWN is on the air!! Good evening from Albuquerque, New Mexico as the OAOAST's flagship show takes to the airwaves on another Thursday night. COACH The original Mexico is so bad, everybody wants to come over here, so why the hell did they make a NEW Mexico? COLE Ah, it's that kind of rapier wit from Jonathan Coachman that gets us the ratings that put us over reruns of X-Play. It's Conference Finals night in the 2007 Anderson Cup as we will find out what two teams will advance to Syndicated two weeks from now to battle in the finals of this prestigious tag tournament. In the MWC final, Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker take on one of the greatest tag teams in OAOAST history, Black T. COACH A tall order for the Enterprise, but Teddy didn't make his money by going the easy route. COLE Didn't he inherit his oil money? COACH Bite your tongue before Teddy owns it. In the Los Infernales final, a mere formality, The Beverly Hills Blondes will easily end the "miracle run" of Los Diablos De Fuego. COLE But I'm looking forward to our main event the most. After months on the shelf after a vicious attack by the Wildcards, Caboose will return to an OAOAST ring to take on Landon Maddix. No disqualifications, no chance for Landon to weasel out. COACH We already got rid of Black, so 'Boose can take out some more trash. COLE Fans, we are coming up to the big event, the granddaddy of them all, Anglemania, in just over a month's time. As we journey to Anglemania, we do know that one match is ETCHED IN STONE, and that is the World Heavyweight Championship Match pitting the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Drek Stone against a man he's been able to dodge for some time, but can no longer. Two men with no respect for each other will do battle for the biggest prize in our company when Zack Malibu, the man synonymous with the OAOAST, takes on a man who cares about nothing and no one except himself. Drek Stone and Zack Malibu will finally meet one on one in the ring, with the gold on the line at Anglemania. COACH It's as big of a dream match as you can get, and after the nightmarish last year, Zack Malibu has a clear focus not only on the championship gold, but on putting Drek Stone in his place once and for all. COLE That's about as much hype as we can give it without going overboard... COACH You mean like that dude who used to sell trading cards? COLE Precisely. With the set-up to his introduction complete, "Getting Away With Murder" hits, and now it's time for one of the participants in the Anglemania main event to add some hype of his own to this evening's HeldDOWN~! COLE Here he comes, the number one contender, and as some would put it, the uncrowned champion of the world! Zack Malibu, looking rejuvenated after finally dispatching of the thorn in his side known as Bruce Blank back at Anglepalooza, comes out to a loud pop, with the fans showing their utmost respect for the longtime favorite. Malibu's not ready for battle tonight (although when has being in street clothes stopped anyone in wrestling from getting into it? Seriously?), but he's definitely got something on his mind, as he takes the mic as soon as he hits the ring. ZACK There's an old saying that says as one door closes, another one opens. That after an end, there is a new beginning, and it seems to me that this company is in desperate need of a new beginning, at least when it comes to the man representing them as champion. "Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!" COLE Strong words from Zack for his rival, and there is no love lost there whatsoever. COACH Neither man has pulled their punches when dealing with the other, so why start now? ZACK Drek Stone, we've given everyone the history lesson. Not a soul out there doesn't know why we don't get along. Let's face it, Drek, you don't care about this company. You use that belt not to represent this company, but to try to better yourself, to try and elevate YOUR status in the world. I've got news for you, that belt doesn't make you, YOU make that belt, and you are devaluing it beyond belief! To you, that gold around your waist is just a prop, a status symbol, but it doesn't MEAN ANYTHING because you don't MAKE IT MEAN ANYTHING! You hold onto it by ducking and running, by avoiding responsibility, by backing out of matches that these people pay to see! You destroy the lineage of that belt, the belt that was made famous, the belt that was put together by the blood, sweat and tears of people like myself, people like Caboose, people like Alfdogg, while guys like YOU, who complain about our status to anyone within earshot, yet don't want to earn your living the way you should! Guys like Sly Sommers, who accuse me of taking advantage of my position to keep guys like you down? Let me tell you all something...YOU'RE the ones keeping yourselves down! You wanna coast by, accusing us of doing it by who we know, not what we know, when all we've done for the last five years is put punks like you in your place! You tried to phase me out before Drek...you even managed to pin my shoulders to the mat, something I'm yet to do to you. I'm telling you, I PROMISE you, that come Anglemania, all those past offenses will be the last thing on our minds at the end of the night, because instead, I'll be holding a belt up high, and the world will know that a TRUE champion is on top of this company once again. (All of a sudden, "The Clap" by The Unicorns starts up, and out walks Sly Sommers with a microphone) SLY Cut the music, cut the music, cut the music... ZACK What the hell do you want? SLY What do I want? Well, you see...every week on TV for the past few weeks, cameras have caught me saying I want a singles bout with you, Zack. I've been begging, I've been pleading, I've even had my little brother, MY FLESH AND BLOOD, fight two men at once because I've been signed to tag matches that I refuse to compete in out of complete and utter protest. I KNOW you'v'e seen all of this, and I know the OAOAST officials have asked you about doing the match for Syndicated so they have some selling point for that show since they know we'd be an Anglemania match that can't happen. But, from the grapevine, word's come down that you don't want to wrestle on that show... ZACK Yeah, I told them I wanted that show off because I'm still aching from that WAR I had at Anglepalooza...you know, that Pay-Per-View I just headlined while you were in the front row? CROWD OOOOOOOOOH! SLY Real big accomplishment, being able to politic your way into the main event of a show you were already semi-headlining! Zack...you main-eventing yet another big Pay-Per-View...what a huge story! Trust me, bro...if I had friends in the front office, I'd do just as much, if not more, than what you've done. I'll be the first to admit bro...you're a hell of an athlete. You're a charismatic force, you're a tough guy. You've been through some battles in your day. But the fact of the matter is, we will never know how far that talent would have gotten you got your boys in the front office, cutting you the deals and givin' you the breaks that no one else here has. Bro, this company's doing great, but it'd be in a hell of a lot better position if you weren't dead-set on keeping yourself as the face of this company... ZACK You gonna get to your damn point anytime soon? SLY Remember when Shago & Predator came through here, tore down the house, and got all that press from the Asian-American media for being role models for young kids here? I wonder why they no longer work here? Remember when the women's division was all the rage and that Jenny Adams chick was set to do that big talk show run? She got yanked off of it to do the B-team house show run, and guess who took her place on Leno? (Points at Zack) Most importantly, and the reason why I'm on my crusade...remember when I was getting that big run on TV and you got your way into the Thrillogy because Hoff & Calvin were getting more over than you at the arenas? Remember when we had the big match on Pay-Per-View and even after you beat me fair and square, albeit in a match I almost own, you had to play your games and make sure I was shipped right down the card so you could get Crystal in the mains since you knew that by wrestling a girl, you could get in all the newspapers and magazines. Wrestling me night in and night out, almost losing every night...you knew that all it took was three seconds, and I'd have your spot like THAT (snaps). ZACK Listen bud, I know I've been power-hungry in the past and I know that I made some immoral moves, and I went through that period where I couldn't look myself in the mirror...but I mended those wrongs. I cut off my ties and I worked my way back up to this spot! SLY You just don't get it, do you? I know you got tight with the fans again and convinced them you're a good guy and everything's all swell on that front, but I can look in your eyes and see the same Zack Malibu...I see the guy who put me through unrightful hell in training, makin' me sleep in your basement and spend thousands of dollars because you didn't want to spend a dime on the road while you were training me. I see the guy who buried me to management when I tried making my way in here. I see the guy who, even after I worked my way to the main event, got me out of that scene and blackballed out of the company! Dude, I went through a period where I was paranoid...I couldn't walk into a locker room without having a small panic attack. You screwing with me got to the point where I was relying on a bottle and some unnatural substances to get me through the day. It got to the point that I was working an indy show in Iowa on loan from the company, and I almost let a man molest me to get a vial of something I'm not even going to mention on the air. I went to rehab two days after that...something clicked within me. I HAD to change. After I got out of rehab, I went to Japan. Figured hey...change of scenery would get my head on straight. I had success...I held gold there. But, I still had something wrong. I tried diagnoising it myself, and all I can come up with is that I have the Malibu Virus...I HAVE to fight you one more time before I can get rid of this. Zack...in order for me to get well, I've got to find out once and for all who the better man is. I've got to either take this all out on your face and leave you laying, or I've got to take my beating like a man. ZACK Listen...hearing stories like this really sucks, man. But, fact of the matter is, I've got the World Title on my mind...I've got Drek on the brain. Fighting you is going to do nothing for me. SLY Zack, please...I don't know what buttons to push or what wires to pull to set you off, but I NEED to fight you. I don't need to wrestle you. I need all rules waived, I need there just to be a referee to decide who the official winner is. I need you and me in a ring, battling. PLEASE, give me this match at Syndicated! I don't want to, but if I have to, I will HAUNT you until you get to Anglemania, and make sure Drek leaves as World Champion, if you don't fight me... ZACK Fine, fine. I don't need any distractions on the road to getting the World Title...you and me, No Holds Barred, Syndicated? You got it! CROWD YAAAAAAY! SLY Thank you, and I promise...I'm bringing my A-Game, so you better bring yours. ZACK Trust me...I ain't coming to do anything but fight that night, buddy. COLE Did you hear that? MALIBU! SOMMERS! NO DISQUALIFICATION! SYNDICAAAAAAAATED!! COACH Gah, calm down Cole. Here, take your meds. We cut to the back.....to a closed door marked "GM's Office". Fortunately there is a point to this as the door opens and an obviously frustrated James Wolfenstein exits to the hall. The camera follows him as he walks back to his dressing room. VOICE Uh oh, someone's not happy. Wolfenstein lets out a breath as he recognizes the voice behind him. The camera pans as he turns around to reveal James Riggs. WOLFENSTEIN Not in the mood, Riggs. Not in the mood. RIGGS What's the matter? They tell you you need to do a promo tonight and you can't decide which of your two emotions to use? WOLFENSTEIN Funny. If you need to know, my match was cancelled tonight. Something about travel trouble. RIGGS Lucky for the fans. WOLFENSTEIN Right, like I'm supposed to be insulted by a "great wrestler" that's had, what, three matches in this company so far? RIGGS Yeah, let's recap those matches: first, I beat a chump in record time and forced him into retirement, then I won a 10-person tag single handily against some of the more "established" people in this company, and now I finished the first step in a title tournament. Now let's recap your matches: crap, crap, suckfest, crap. Ooh, battling the mighty force of Stan's Foot Soldiers, how impressive. Put it this way, Drek Stone has done more in this company than you have over the last few months. "OOOOOOOOOOOH!!" COACH Sssssss....BURRRN! WOLFENSTEIN Well, since I don't have a match tonight, let's see you back up all that talk in the ring. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" RIGGS (Inhales sharply) See, that's not gonna work. Unlike you, I actually have a future in this company, so if I get in the ring with you, I might break my foot kicking your head in. That wouldn't be good for anyone. Still, keep that spirit up and you will be.... ....well, you could ..... (slaps Wolfenstein on shoulder) see ya. Riggs exits the frame as the camera focuses on a ready to explode James Wolfenstein as we fade out.Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 C'MON MAN DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK, I'VE BEEN HERE FOR YEARS ROCKIN MY PIECE, PUTTING SUCKAS IN FEAR MAKIN' THE TEARS RAIN DOWN LIKE A MONSOON LISTEN TO THE BASS GO BOOM EXPLOSION! OVERPOWERIN' OVER THE COMPETITION I'M TOWERIN' DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK LEON RODEZ RETURNS FEBRUARY 24TH, 2007! I'M GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT I'M GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT I'M GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT I'M GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" SCHIAVONE That's right Jesse, a huge announcement officially confirmed! Leon Rodez will return at OAOAST Syndicated, February 24th and he will joining us live at ringside to commentate on the Anderson Cup Finals! We haven't seen Leon since our last Syndicated broadcast in October, when he was so infamously injured in the aftermath of War Games by Todd Cortez. But he will make a long awaited public appearance in just nine days! News which I'm sure you'll agree is long overdue. VENTURA He's a kid who's OAOAST through and through. That's good enough for me Schiavone. We could do with all the guys like him we can get. SCHIAVONE That right now is an issue for another day right now though. The issue at hand is the Anderson Cup Conference Finals, or more specifically the Los Infernales Conference Final. The number two seeds The Beverly Hills Blonds take on the surprise package of this year's Anderson Cup, number five seeds Los Diablos De Fuego, in a rematch from their non-tournament grudge match at AnglePalooza just under three weeks ago. This time however, OAOAST officials have acted in advance to prevent a repeat of what happened at AnglePalooza by banning ALL outside parties from ringside. No Mackenzie DeCenzo, no Christian Wright or Theodore Moneymaker and no CPA, the guy who helped Ned and Simon to victory. If The Beverly Hills Blonds are to make it to Syndicated and the Anderson Cup Final, they're going to have to do it on their own merits. VENTURA Which they're perfectly capable of. Los Diablos have been lucky to make it this far, but luck always runs out in the end. Usually against class, class like The Beverly Hills Blonds possess. SCHIAVONE Los Diablos out for payback, The Blonds simply out for themselves, it's the Finals of the Los Infernales Conference and without any further ado, let's send it to Michael Buffer for the introductions! "Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest in the 2007 Anderson Cup is the Conference FINAL in the Los Infernales Conference, scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, hailing from Beverly Hills, California! (*boo!*) At a total combined weight of four hundred and sixty pounds... the number two seeds in the Los Infernales Conference... they are the former HI-YAH World and three-time OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... NED BLANCHARD and SIMON SINGLETON... THE BBEEEVVEEEEEERRRRRLLLYYYYY HHHIIIIIIIIIILLLLLSSSSSSSS BBLLLLLLOOOOOONNDDSSSSSS!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Unaccompanied tonight, The Blonds certainly don't look too happy about it as they stride down to the ring, discussing the matter on the way. Ned and Simon slide into the ring and for some reason decide to take it up with referee Charles Robinson, who obviously didn't have anything to do with the decision. Eventually Simon calms himself and his partner down though, pointing out that they need to focus. Just in time too, as "It's Raining Men" starts to play. BUFFER And their opponents! At a total combined weight of three hundred and fourty pounds... they are the number five seeds in the Los Infernales Conference. From sunny Cabo San Lucas... the sexist team in AAAAALL of Mehico! MORACCA and MARIACHI... LLLOOOOSSS DDIIIIIIAAAAAAAABBLLLLLLOOOOOOOSSSSS DDEEEEEEEEE FFFFFUUUUUEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOO!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The New Mexico crowd go nuts for their counterparts from across the border in the Original Mexico, Los Diablos. In return, no sugary gingerbread treats and very little bump and/or grind. Los Diablos look noticeably more serious than we've ever seen them as they jog out onto the stage and RUSH THE RING!! ADRENALINE RUSH-UH! The Blonds are ready and waiting unlike at AnglePalooza however and jump Moracca and Mariachi as they skid under the bottom rope! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA Haha! A case of less haste more speed for Los Diablos, they just ran right into a Beverly Hills beatdown! *DINGDINGDING!* Ned and Simon look to stomp the fire out of Los Diablos as the bell belatedly sounds, Charles Robinson trying in vain to gain some order. Out of the ring goes Mariachi, unable to take the attack any longer, leaving his partner in wrestling and life alone in the ring with The Blonds. A double irish whip sends Moracca across the ring and The Blonds set near the ropes, backdropping the flaming Mexican up and over the top on his return... ...right onto Mariachi with an unintentional planchaa!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA Talk about revenge all you want Schiavone, but The Blonds are just as fired up tonight. They thought they'd dealt with these Mexicans once and for all at AnglePalooza and now they find themselves stuck in yet another match with them, with the unjustice of a ban on Mackenzie DeCenzo. Los Diablos got away lightly at AnglePalooza if you ask me! As Los Diablos pick themselves up on the floor, Ned and Simon yuck it up at their opponents' expense. Simon poses in front of the wreckage, with Ned capturing the moment for posterity with his imaginary camera. Like a couple of Japaense tourists, they take far too long on this one picture opportunity however and suddenly Moracca appears in the back of Ned's shot! The Handsome Hustler panics and warns Simon, shoving him out of the way when he doesn't get the message... and taking the Moracca springboard dropkick for his trouble! Moracca leaps right back up and dropkicks Simon in the mush anyway, shoving Ned out of the ring for Mariachi to take care of while he stays on Singleton. SCHIAVONE Los Diablos are no pushovers Jesse, as we've seen in the past few months. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A knifedge catches Simon by surprise as much as anything. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" As does the second. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And even the third, all in quick succession. SCHIAVONE Moracca only a buck seventy-one, but try telling Simon Singleton's chest that! Moracca pushes Simon back and whips him into the far corner. In he follows and looking for a Stinger Splash he soars through the air. Seeing the pink Mexican blur heading towards him Simon drops and crawls to safety, pointing to his temple as he climbs back up. Little realising that Moracca saved himself and stays perched on the top rope! Withou Mackenzie, Simon takes a little longer to realise what's going on than usual, turning around to see Moracca setting and dropping down... ...but Moracca faked him out, Brian Pillman style, re-positioning himself on the top as Simon AGAIN points to his temple to show he has the brains. SCHIAVONE Irony alert. VENTURA Quiet! Again, it takes Simon a while to sense there's a problem. And this time by the time he turns around, Moracca is already in mid-air, soaring down with a HIGH Crossbody Block! 1... 2... Kickout! Both men are back up and Moracca waits on Simon with some big overhand rights, as big as he can throw with his frame. Simon cuts the flurry off with a knee to the gut though, latching on a sudden facelock and DRIVING Moracca down with a Snap DDT! SCHIAVONE OH! Right on the top of the head! VENTURA That's the difference between a frenzied attacker and a true wrestler. When the going gets tough, the wrestler can always pull out a tide turning move. The spiked landing leaves Moracca facedown and motionless, allowing Simon a breather. On the outside meanwhile, Ned and Mariachi show no signs of letting up. Ned goes to the gut on Mariachi much like his partner, grabbing the mask and tossing the Mexican face-first into the ring apron! And again! Both times the head bounces off the hardest part of the ring violently. But as Mariachi stumbles backwards, he still has enough wits about him to sidestep Blanchard's charge... *CLUNK!* "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ...CAUSING HIM TO RUN HIMSELF INTO THE RINGPOST!! SCHIAVONE How about that for a tide-turning move? VENTURA That wasn't a move, that was a lucky dodge. Big difference! SCHIAVONE Same result though. Blanchard might have KOed himself! With Ned down, into the ring slides Mariachi, commencing hostilities with Simon Singleton. Simon comes off the worse as Mariachi opens up with his own special brand of 'latino heat' and a flurry of wild right hands! No counter is coming as Simon is caught totally off-guard from the attack and ends up backed into a corner, beaten down against the bottom turnbuckle with kicks and stomps by the enraged Mexican! VENTURA What the hell has gotten into these two? Passion, of a whole other kind. Mariachi finally lands a final stomp and leaves Singleton dazed in the bottom of the corner, adding a little bit of Los Diablo flavour with some simulated oral action! Back to more serious matters, Mariachi then leaps up to the middle rope and backflips off, gaining extra momentum with a Moonsault into a Front Basement Dropkick RIGHT TO THE FACE!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA WOW! Now that was something! Singleton's head weebles and wobbles on his shoulders before coming to a stop, cross-eyed and with little to no idea where he is! Back up climbs Mariachi and he fires up the Albuquerque crowd before pulling Simon out and making the cover... 1... 2... SHOULDER UP! SCHIAVONE Not a convincing kickout at all from Simon Singleton! The Blonds are reeling here! If only that were the worst of their problems though. Back at ringside, Ned Blanchard is back up. But he's walking around like a drunk on his way back from a Saturday night bar crawl. A very rowdy bar crawl, judging from the BLOOD oozing from the side of his head!! SCHIAVONE Ned Blanchard has been busted open already! Man, this has been a crazy start to this Anderson Cup Conference Final and already we've got a casualty! VENTURA This feud has taken a sudden, violent turn here tonight. We thought it was over at AnglePalooza, but we were very much mistaken! With Ned in no shape to help out, Mariachi stays on Simon and pulls him to his feet. Up to the middle rope goes the luchador, hooking the head for a Tornado DDT. Simon lands some kidney shots to free himself however, firing upwards with an uppercut that almost knocks Mariachi off his perch! Almost being the operative word, as Simon cannot follow up and gives Mariachi time to recover and lunge with a Diving Clothesline from the second floor! As he lands, Mariachi is quick to follow up, making the cover... 1... 2... No! Back up climbs Mariachi and this time Ned is an issue. Until that is he's dropkicked off the apron by Mariachi, leaving him to convalesce at ringside. Mariachi then helps Moracca up, checking his life partner is okay before calling for a double-team on Singleton. SCHIAVONE The referee not wasting his time looking for a traditional tag team format here, this issue is beyond that. VENTURA That's all very well, but this is the Anderson Cup! This isn't about grudges, it's about finding the best team and best potential challengers to the Tag Titles in the company, the old fashioned way. I don't agree with this. But then again, I don't think we wanna see this thrown out. SCHIAVONE Definately not, we want a winner and a definative Final match at Syndicated. Together Los Diablos stop Simon Singleton's attempts to escape the ring, dragging him back in and up. Simon is in dire straights now, no chance of getting his appearance money for nothing here tonight (bad pun, sorry everyone), as Los Diablos are dominating. A double irish whip sends Simon into the turnbuckles, Moracca first to follow with the ever popular Flying Asshole in the corner! And Simon has little time to digest that (again, sorry everyone) before Mariachi lands a Stinger Splash! The double squashing leaves Singleton breathless and he stumbles out of the corner, Los Diablos catching an arm each on the way out. With a leg each too, the Mexicans then plant Simon with a Double Half Nelson Facebuster and seperate, Moracca keeping guard, Mariachi making the pin... 1... 2... NO! The kickout distracts Moracca for a second, all the opening the crafty Handsome Hustler needs to slide into the ring and blindsight the luchador with a lethal clothesline. Bundling on, Ned lays out Mariachi with a clothesline too, no longer taking anything for granted tonight. VENTURA Ned Blanchard has stepped it up a notch right now! The sight of your own blood can do powerful things to a human being and we're seeing it in full effect! With his blond locks now stained red on the left side of his head, Blanchard cuts a pretty intimidating figure as drags Mariachi up and tries to MURDER him with a Short Clothesline, almost turning the luchador inside out this time! Instead a high and tight landing awaits Mariachi, scant consolation for the lack of a backflip as he still ends up hurting in the worst way. "BLAN - CHARD SUCKS!" "BLAN - CHARD SUCKS!" "BLAN - CHARD SUCKS!" "BLAN - CHARD SUCKS!" Blanchard now targets Moracca and whips him into the ropes. A closed fist buried to the gut doubles Moracca over, setting him up as Blanchard comes off the near side and pulls a page out of his co-hort's book with a Billion $ Kneelift! Down goes Moracca, Ned not wasting any more time in homage to Mr. Moneymaker. Instead he sits Moracca up, growling under his breath as he takes a last look at the masked luchador... and prepares to turn him into an UNmasked one! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA He's gonna rip his mask off! Oh, I love it! SCHIAVONE No, he can't do this! That mask is an identity to Los Diablos, the ultimate sign of disrespect to try and remove it! VENTURA That's why I love it! Getting a grip on the bottom of the mask, Blanchard starts to tug away, Moracca reacting quickly enough to grab the mask himself! A tug of war ensues over the pink hood, Ned ripping and tearing as Moracca desperately tries to protect his honour and his identity. There's only such much fabric can take before tearing though... *WHAM!* ...so it's lucky for Moracca that he's able to land a Jawbreaker! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Ned goes reeling backwards, the ropes altering his direction and putting him back towards Moracca. The Diablo ducks his head and snakes behind Ned, grabbing the blond mane and pulling him down into an inverted DDT! An instant cover accompanies the move... 1... 2... Singleton drags Moracca off the pin! And from there, Singleton then drags the Mexican to his feet and lifts him for a back suplex. Moracca tries to block the move, all for nought as Simon shifts gears and sits out, planting the luchador forwards with a modified faceplant! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rolling his man over, Singleton stacks Moracca on his shoulders with the legs in hand... 1... 2... NO! SCHIAVONE This is all action here, a lot of punishment being dished out in a short time. We've got Blanchard busted open, Singleton is clearly weary, both Diablos are hurting now. This is gutcheck time. Who wants to go to the Anderson Cup Final? We'll find out, right after the break... don't go anywhere!!COMMERCIAL BREAK We are BACK on HeldDOWN~! and there's no let up in the action! Simon stomps away on Moracca as he waits for Ned to get back up, Mariachi still virtually motionless across the ring. He'll have to wait a while for that as Ned is feeling the effects of the blood loss, so Simon instead pulls Moracca up. By the mask he tosses him head-first into the top turnbuckle, Moracca falling back out into a clubbing strike over the back. And again. Singleton then sets Moracca up on the top, sat facing out into the Albuquerque crowd and in a very precarious position as The Video Voyeur scales the corner behind him. SCHIAVONE What could Singleton have planned here? VENTURA Whatever it is, it won't be fun for Moracca. Up on the middle rope, Simon 'rolls cameras' before hooking up for a Back Superplex. Moracca wraps his legs tight around the metal turnbuckle to prevent being taken over however and starts to slam his elbow down into the back of the neck, softening Simon up until finally he falls off the turnbuckle. With Singleton down, Moracca then positions himself more comfortably up top, getting his footing and tumbling with a MOONSAU...NO! Singleton gets the knees up!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA Well, a round about way of getting there, but definately not fun for Moracca. Singleton sits up and waits on Moracca to get back up. Or possibly for Ned to get him back up, The Handsome Hustler lifting Moracca up for a back suplex and Singleton assisting with a clothesline to add more impact to Moracca's eventually dumping!! Cover! 1... 2... SAVE BY MARIACHI!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Singleton jumps all over Mariachi for his insolence, clubbing away on the Mexican before manhandling him out of the ring and to the floor! Deciding there's no time like the present, The Beverly Hills Blonds now turn to each other and give the signal to end it. VENTURA I think that's a wrap Schiavone! SCHIAVONE It could be a wrap as far as Los Diablos' Anderson Cup campaign goes, if The Blonds can take advantage of this opportunity. Dragging Moracca up, Blanchard plants him centre of the ring with a scoop and a slam. The Blonds then head for opposite corners of the ring and for some rare high-risk for the duo, both exiting the ring and scaling the turnbuckles! Moracca is a sitting duck it seems as Singleton and Blanchard reach the top on their opposite sides, pointing to each other and milking the moment... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..." ...before taking off, showing great timing as they soar together with stereo splashes... *wham!* *wham!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and they BOTH find NO WATER IN THE POOL, narrowly avoiding a collision of heads as Moracca avoids both splashes!! SCHIAVONE Nobody home on the Atomic Blond! That's one for the Outtakes! Both Blonds hold their ribs as they help each other to their feet, the duo turning to see Mariachi back on the apron. Ned instinctively ducks but Simon isn't so lucky, taken down with a Springboard Seated Senton and getting a faceful of crotch on the compromising pin... 1... MORACCA CUTS OFF NED... 2... ...AND NED IS HELD OFF... KICKOUT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA Two and nine tenths, it doesn't get much closer than that! SCHIAVONE Los Diablos came within milliseconds of another huge upset! Mariachi waits on Simon, Ned and Moracca continuing to hold each other away from the action. As Singleton gets to his feet in comes Mariachi, leaping up and looking for a Hurricanrana...BLOCKED! Simon catches the legs and manoeuvers his man into a BOSTON CRAB!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Before Mariachi can even contemplate tapping though, Moracca breaks away... *SMACK!* "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and clocks Simon in the back of the head with a Leaping Enziguri!! SCHIAVONE Back and forth, this is tremendous action here! VENTURA And all for a spot in the Anderson Cup Final! As Moracca turns around, Ned rushes at him with a wild clothesline. Moracca ducks the bloody Blanchard's swing however and hits the ropes, The Handsome Hustler turning around as the Mexican dives back at him. And he CATCHES him in a Bearhug, making a quick 180 and falling back, dropping Moracca throat-first across the top rope with the STUN GUN!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA THAT'S IT! HE GOT HIM! Blanchard is frantic as he crawls over, turning Moracca onto his back and making the cover... 1... 2... 3 -NOO!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA WHAT!? SCHIAVONE He kicked out! Jesse, he kicked out!! Yes, Moracca kicked out from the Stun Gun! Blanchard is beside himself, as surprised as Jesse Ventura at the kickout and furiously berating Charles Robinson for not coming up with the three! Wiping the blood from his eyes, Blanchard curses to himself. But he knows he has to finish sooner rather than later and drags Moracca back up, the choking luchador held by the mask... *SLAP!* ...and PAINTBRUSHED across the face! SCHIAVONE Come on! Applying another bearhug, Blanchard then hoists Moracca up and turns him towards the ropes for another Stun Gun. Back he falls, Moracca sent plummeting into the ropes... ...but he gets his hands up, pushing off the top rope AND COUNTERING WITH A SWINGING DDT!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE UNBELIEVABLE COUNTER!! Momentum rolls Blanchard through, right into Mariachi! A boot doubled Ned up, cradling the arms with his back to The Handsome Hustler and dropping to his knees PLANTING HIM FACE-FIRST WITH THE SHEEP DIP!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" As Blanchard's head bounces off the canvas for the second time in quick succession, Moracca dives on top with the cover, Mariachi dives on top of Singleton to prevent any chance of a save... 1... 2... 3!!!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE YES! YES! THEY DID IT, THEY PULLED IT OFF!! LOS DIABLOS ARE GOING TO THE ANDERSON CUP FINAL!! Jesse can't believe it. Simon can't believe it. The crowd can't believe it. Los Diablos can scarcely believe it either. But as "It's Raining Men" hits its confirmed, Los Diablos have defeated The Beverly Hills Blonds and won the Los Infernales Conference! The flaming luchadors leap into each other's arms and embrace as Singleton can be seen glancing up open mouthed, eyes wide as saucers as the luchadors celebrate their unexpected victory! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen... your winners of the match... AND, the winners of the Los Infernales Conference of the 2007 Anderson Cup... LLLOOOOOSSSSSS DDIIIIIIIAAAAAABBLLLLLLOOOOOOSSSSS DDEEEEEEEEE FFFFFFUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Los Diablos slide out of the ring and metamorphasise into something like their old selves, celebrating with the first group of viral young fans they can find! The fans, possibly drunk, lap up the celebration with the masked Mexicans and don't mind the physical closeness the Diablos provide. In the ring, Simon Singleton kneels beside his fallen partner, still open-mouthed and in disbelief! SCHIAVONE Unbelieveable scenes in Albuquerque, New Mexico! What a meteoric rise for Los Diablos! From perennial underdogs, mocked for their flamboyant liestyle, to this moment... Los Diablos are going to the Anderson Cup Final! And I don't think many would have put money on this five weeks ago! VENTURA Not many would have put money on this five minutes ago! Especially not me! SCHIAVONE But it's happened regardless! Los Diablos, going to Syndicated, February 24th! Who will they face? We'll find out later on here on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Cut to the locker room, where Johnny Sommers is pacing back and forth while Sly sits in a stool behind him... JOHNNY So bro, when the hell are you going to snap out of this? I've got a singles match tonight, and dude....without you out there, that crowd ain't buyin' me. SLY Listen...(gets up and stops Johnny) tonight, I'm forcing my hand. It'll be soon enough that I can team with you. Don't worry. COLE (VO) What does he mean by "forcing his hand"? We'll find out tonight!Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~!, where we already have a match in the ring! (Discovery from The Space Cadets is in the ring, as Johnny Sommers is right across from him...) *BELL RINGS* Johnny runs across the ring and BLASTS him with a jumping forearm! Sommers snapmares him out of the corner, putting him in a sitting position, then kicks him right in the spine. Johnny pulls Discovery up and sends him off to the ropes with an Irish whip. Discovery ducks a clothesline, then comes off of the ropes on the other side and hits a flying headscissors! That sends Johnny rolling to the outside. Discovery comes off of the ropes on the other side, charges forward, and dives through the ropes with a bodypress! Discovery pulls him up and throws him back into the ring, then goes for a cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Discovery tries to pull Johnny up, but gets a headbutt to the stomach for his troubles. With Discovery in a bent-over position, Johnny comes off of the ropes and hits a Mr. Wrestling 2 knee-lift to the face. Discovery goes down, so Johnny comes off of the ropes and hits a running back senton! He then puts himself on top of Discovery and reigns down with punches. The referee forces Johnny off of Discovery due to the closed fists, so he gets up and stomps a mudhole into Discovery. He pulls Discovery up by the mask and shoves him into a corner. Johnny trades off between stiff forearms and chops, beating Discovery until he's sitting down in the corner. Johnny then backs up and hits a running dropkick to Discovery's face! Johnny pulls him out of the corner by his feet, then lifts Discovery's legs, calls the referee's attention to a fan in the front row yelling curse words, and connects with a spinning back headbutt to the groin! COLE C'mon! The referee turns around as Johnny's pulling Discovery up to create a diversion from Discovery holding his groin in pain. Johnny connects with a forearm to the back, then turns around to place Discovery's head between his legs, hooks the arms, and drives him down with the Pyrite Pyramid! Johnny presses his hands down on Discovery's chest for a cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING* BUFFER YOUR WINNER....JOHNNNNNY SOOOOOOMERS! The bell's ringing, but Johnny isn't stopping his attack! He continues to stomp away on Discovery, who's down and out! The referee can't stop Johnny, as he starts to pull Discovery up! He starts to position Discovery for a piledriver, but out runs his partner in the Space Cadets, Supernova! Johnny bails out of the ring, as Supernova slides in! Sommers slowly walks back to the locker room, cackling, as Supernova motions for help for his fallen partner! COACH This Johnny Sommers kid is so violent...I haven't a clue what his problem is with the world, but I sure hope Discovery does! An image of Terry Taylor standing on the entrance stage appears on the screen. The arena is dimly lit, and a spotlight directs all attention towards the often abused announcer. Looking quite daper in a pinstriped suit, he resides in a state of the art interview area. The staging is adorned with oversized cardboard pictures of the OAOAST logo, Ebay's logo, The Tibetan Freedom Organization logo, and two portraits of Alix Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan. Standing beside him is a Tibetan monk, outfitted in the traditional yellow and purple robe. He seems painfully oblivious to the glamorized proceedings layed out in front of him. TERRY TAYLOR Terry Taylor here live on OAOAST television, joined by a very special guest, Seongjeong Dobeop, head patriarch of the Yenisha monastery in Tibet! Taylor lovingly squeezes his arm around the monk's shoulder. The unwanted show of affection is met by the monk sticking his finger down his throat and pretending to vomit. TAYLOR Ladies and gentlemen, it is that... “Hey, moron!” a middle aged woman with a lazy eye screams “Keep it down, your father and I are trying to fuck over here!” she orders, causing the monk to giggle in deliciously naughty fashion. TAYLOR (cont) Sorry, mom. Fans, it is that... “Go back to Atlanta and kill yourself, pussy!” yells a fan in a Fall Out Boy t-shirt. TAYLOR People, it's time... “No seriously, go back to Atlanta and hang yourself you piece of shit! You suck!” Hollers the fan, leading the monk to put a finger gun to Terry Taylor's head, much to the delight of the audience who chant “kill the rooster!” TAYLOR(weeping on the inside) Ladies and gentlemen after three weeks of waiting and anticipation, it is now time to for myself and Seongjeong Dobeop to reveal to the world the name of the lucky winner, the luckiest person on earth, dare I say, of the OAOAST's much publicized, much discussed charity Ebay auction. Not only will this person have the satisfaction of knowing they've done their part to free Tibet, but they will also be given the opportunity of their lifetime, a chance to spend a day with world tag team champions, Hollywood “it” Girls, and socially conscious young ladies, Chicks Over Dicks! So it is without further adieu that I bring to you the name of the big spender who has made a great contribution to his life and to the Tibetan Freedom Organization. The envelope please! A stage hand scurries to Taylor's location and shoves an envelope into his hand. He eagerly tears through the white paper, anxiously wishing to see the name of the lucky victor. TAYLOR Fans, the winner at a very cool twenty six thousand dollars, Terry....wait a second that's not how you spell my last name! Oh no....I lost? I lost! I mortgaged my house and sold my sick mother into the Taiwanese slave trade for nothing! Son of a bitch! And how am I supposed to get my son's kidney back off the black market before his mother finds out it's missing? Jesus tap dancing Christ! Fine then, let's find out the name of ol Richie Rich, Donald Trump, who thinks he can use his big pocket book to get one up on The Rooster. The winner of the OAOAST's and Tibetan Freedom Organization's charity Ebay auction is.........(pause for dramatic effect)....what the hell? The winner is...that's funny...the winner is Marcellus Wallace, and Vincent Santana? Hey, we've got two guys on the OAOAST roster with those exact same names! Strange. Terry Taylor=not so smart The metallic opening of Cross That Line by Rick Ross fills the arena with an urban scented dread. As the audience sizzles with flaming hatred, the formerly bright lights delve into a troubling blue hue.Convict....Convict....ConvictUp front Yeah.... Convict Music While the haunting piano melody heightens the tension in the venue, scenes of The South Central Militia's special brand of havoc blaze across the Angletron, showing the alarmed fans what type of savage aggression the men who are soon to arrive are capable of.Oooooh ooooh oooooh If you ever cross that line I guarantee ya there'll be nothin' to save ya (save ya, save ya) I got a whole bunch of gorillas ready to pull the trigga And we all for that paper (paper) Comin' from a life of crime Tryna be on my best behavior You see my rep's gettin' bigger but still that same nigga bustin' shots at them haters (them haters, them haters) But only if you cross that line The colossal bass of Rick Ross' street anthem booms through the venue, signaling the arrival of the auction's winners', Vincent Santana and Marcellus Wallace. The pair step on stage, greeted by Terry Taylor's jaw hitting the floor, and the crowd emitting a round of heated boos. Vincent, topless and looking like he just crawled out of a trailer park sewer in baggy sweat pants, and leopard print cowboy hat, saunters over to Terry Taylor's location Marcellus, in camouflage pants, white fur coat, and numerous platinum chains follows behind him, while flashing gang signs into the camera. SEONGJEONG DOBEOP THE TIBETAN MONK Ya'll niggas?! The two men nod, beaming with loathsome pride. TAYLOR What in Neptune's trousers is going on? You're the honest to god winners? Let me see if I can scrape my jaw up off the floor long enough to um...get to the bottom of all this. I'm confused, the audience is confused, and I'm sure the people who put this auction together are confused. I never figured you for the altruistic, giving of yourselves type, but here you are donating twenty six thousand dollars in a charity auction. That's truly amazing. Again the two nod with pride, and dap(shake hands) in celebration of their unorthodox victory. Even the monk gets a dap, a fist pound, and a manly hug from the brutish criminals. TAYLOR And that leads to my first question, where in god's name did you get twenty six thousand dollars? You're always complaining that you're poor and stuck in the hood, but you're bid was probably more then what your entire neighborhood combined pulls down in a year! No way you made all that money selling fake driver's licenses to illegal Mexicans in downtown LA. We all know that when you guys get a little cash, you're heading to the liquor store to get a 40 and a pack of Marlboro Lights. What happened, did the cops shut the store down 'cause of illegal dice games in the back? How many kilos of drugs did you have to sell to get this chunk of change? VINCENT Around six hundred fifty. TAYLOR(taken aback by the answer) I was just making an insensitive and needlessly stereotypical joke! Good god above, you really did sell drugs to get this money! WALLACE Weed ain't no motherfucking drug. Weed is a plant, same as a daisy or a tulip. If it should so catch on fire, then some effects can happen. Drugs you gotta cook it, stir it up, add baking soda, and shit, I don't know recipe I'm just saying. Crackers be sellin' harder shit down at Rite Aid. Go and look, weed ain't got nothing on no Advil or Tylenol. You take fourteen Tylenol you fuck around and die. Mama ain't never called me up, talkin' about “Marcellus come quick, your brother in the hospital, getting his stomach pumped 'cause he overdosed on some Mary Jane.” TAYLOR An excellent argument for the legalization of marijuana, to be sure. My second question is why even bid in the first place? Especially to hang out with two women who have cursed you with the dishonor of being the shortest reigning tag champions in history. You see them everyday Thursday! And if you're really desperate, just let your man, Terry, know, because over the years I've managed to successfully drill a peep hole into the women's locker room of every major arena in North America. Admission is ten dollars, and that includes drink service, a light dinner, and a commemorative Krista Isadora Duncan topless on the beach paparazzi photo. Save a few thousand bucks. So, please tell me, why have you've done this? WALLACE 'Cause we different. Plenty of tag teams got some kind of problem with Chicks Over Dicks. But, see, the difference between us and them, is that they gonna hate a bitch and be okay with just doing that. They just gonna walk around being mad, but they ain't never gonna do nothing about it. Maybe they might drop a promo here and there, but when it comes to putting heat to the street, they ain't no where to be found. Even those dudes who claim to be gangsta, ain't really comin gangsta with it when the time comes. All kinds of niggas gettin' in on some "I want to be that nigga I ain't" type shit. Running around here talking bout all the work you got and how ain't no nigga gonna do this or that, and the other to you. Then turn around and soften up like butter when one of them real niggas get at your ass bout that shit you was talking. We different. We got beef with Chicks Over Dicks resulting from two weeks ago and we gonna be damned if we gonna have a problem with a chick and not do nothing about it. If we fucks with you, we do, if we don't, we don't. But to hate a ho, a couple of suburban housewives at that, and not do anything about it, thats corny, that's a bitch move, to me. Whether we gotta fight the chicks, pay a nigga to get that handled, or do it ourselves, we gonna do so. TAYLOR The beef you refer to, no doubt relates to your tag title loss several weeks back. But how does winning a charity auction handle your problem, if you can truly call it that, with Chicks Over Dicks? VINCENT Last week we told Okerlund we got a plan to get our tag gold back, and when you announced us as the auction's winners you revealed it to the world. See, once Anglesault snatched our gold and gave it to those rat teeth hoes, we knew there weren't soul here who was gonna help us get it back. But like One Eye just said, we real with ours, and that means we don't get fucked like that. Ain't no director of authority, general manager, commissioner or president gonna change that shit and keep us from our gold. Real recognizes real all day long. We get ours. We took the hustle off the streets, put it up on them Internets, and looked up that Ebay auction ya'll kept pushin. And we saw something mighty interesting. We saw there wasn't nothing that said how you gotta spend your day with them skanks. Nothing. You coulda done whatever you wanted. They just left it wide open for the winner to decide. And as the winners....well...... TAYLOR(dreadfully) And as the winners of the auction, how would you like to spend your day with Chicks Over Dicks? WALLACE Ain't no would like, ain't no want to, ain't no desire to, all there is is how we gonna do it, and there ain't no debate to it. We gonna spend our day punching they clocks, snapping they necks, breaking they jaw, bustin' they heads, and takin' they tag belts, because they gotta put 'em on line against The South Central Militia at Syndicated! That's what's happening! The crowd let's out a loud roar of excitement for the thought of a tag title defense at the OAOAST's premiere February event. TAYLOR I think we all had a feeling that's where you were going, but twenty six thousand dollars for a tag title shot? A very risk move, to say the least! Fans, there you have it, a tag title match at Syndicated in Cleveland, Ohio.... WALLACE Cleveland? Cleveland ain't got no part in this. TAYLOR But if you want a tag title match at Syndicated, then that's in Cleveland.... Vinny puts his hand in font of Terry's face to silence the confused interviewer. VINCENT Naw. We all stay in LA County, so we gonna settle beef in LA County. We gonna keep it local, throw down in Cali and have an “Battle of Los Angeles” match. Alix, Krista, because ya'll suburban chicks ain't never go east of the fag side of LA, we'll keep it right in your hood, Hollywood. But it ain't gonna be on no streets. No brawl down Sunset, La Ciénega or Santa Monica, Naw, never that. We paid twenty six grand for this, we gotta do it real b-i-g. Gotta do like the OAOAST ain't never done it before. People say you the Hollywood “it” girls? Then this match gotta jump off on what Hollywood is known for...the silver screen. We're gonna take some of that OAOAST money, pay off a few executives, and have an “Battle of Los Angeles” match, an all out brawl, right in a real life movie studio. Get them lights shinin', them cameras shootin', them director's directin','cause Whitey Ford and One Eye Wallace is bringing action right to ya. When it comes to the SCM, the only six letters ya'll need to know is BTK AOK. WALLACE Born to kill, always out killing. COLE Wow! A “Battle of Los Angeles” match, which basically sounds like a street fight within a movie studio for the world tag team titles! The announcement earns quite the pop from the fans, but one man who doesn't seem overly thrilled about it is, Terry Taylor. TAYLOR Militia, I for one think your plan... freaking sucks! COACH He's going to die shortly. I guess we can look forward to clearance sales on “Remember the rooster” t-shirts on the OAOAST website. The fists of the Militia tighten into threatening balls, and growls of anger escape their snarling lips. Despite the obvious evidence that he needs to shut up at once, the imbecilic announcer fails to do so. TAYLOR You got your first title shot, not because you deserved it, but because Alix and Krista were nice enough to give it to you. And what did you do with that kindness? You spurned the traditions and respect that this sport was built on, to cheat your way to a title reign, that at ten minutes twenty two seconds, was ten minutes and twenty two seconds too long! And now you've come back to throw money at the “problem” and you think can buy your way into title contention? Sorry to say feminem and Puff Daddy, but that isn't the way this business, the business I've sacrificed blood sweat and tears for, is supposed to work! You have to earn your shot, not steal it by abusing charity auctions! Pay your dues, Militia! Am I right, people? Come on, chant it with me! Pay your dues! Pay your dues! Pay your dues! “GET AIDS AND DIE, TAYLOR!” hollers a fan in a Phoenix Coyotes hockey jersey TAYLOR No one's up for a pay your dues chant? Okay, you don't have to. Free country. Just thought it might be fun. WALLACE (closing in on Terry) Ya know what I think might be fun? Tossin' yo pale pee wee herman ass right off this entrance stage! That seems to generate quite the positive reaction from the supposedly peace loving monk, who gleefully applauds the idea of Terry Taylor being thrown to an early grave. However Taylor's life is spared, when Chicks Over Dicks, the subjects of this expensive and now controversial auction walk out from the back, drawing the attention of the rooster's assailants. The girls' appearance earns a massive pop from the now standing audience. Krista's lithe figure is framed by a flirty white buttoned down dress, with short puffed sleeves, knee length hem, and a popped collar. Her hair is vibrant blond hair is tied into an up-do, and burgundy colored rhinestone colored sunglasses shield her baby blue eyes. Alix goes for a more eccentric look: This unusual outfit! “C-O-D! C-O-D!” sing the audience. Ally plays to the audience,cupping her ears and flexing her muscles a la Hulk Hogan. All these jerky movements cause her oversized wings to constantly smack Krista in the face, which as you can imagine pisses Miss California off to know end. When the crowd settles down, and Alix finally stops trying to assault her with feathers, Krissy attempts to speak. KRISTA Hold up, hold up, hold up, Militia. If anyone's gonna be the one to brutally take Terry Taylor's life on national TV it's going to be me and a pair of high voltage wires connected to his testicles. Now, before I waste ten minutes of my precious time to address the Militia's massively moronic idea, let me settle this “is weed a drug" debate. The simple answer is, who cares? Weed is for people on the struggle. ALIX Terry, you wouldn't understand that with your hood rich, ghetto fabulous life. KRISTA But imagine for a second that you live a life wrought with destitution and plagued by misery. Your constant companion is a self loathing dread and your only sexual exhilaration is derived from the stuck together pages of the Victoria's Secret catalog you swiped from from your elderly neighboor's mailbox, or from gleefully ogling their fleshly rolls of fat as they prance about the house in said Victoria's Secret wear. When you're not crying guilt filled tears of despair and regret as you pleasure yourself to the sight of a sixty five year old Puerto Rican man in drag, you are suffocating under a mountain of bills that you're certain you'll never crawl out of. “I gotta pay this water bill, they don't want a deposit, or lay away, they want the whole thing. I'm ruined!” Well untangle that rope, unload that gun, shove those razor blades back in the drawer, and step away from the Panic at the disco albums, because all you need is a good blunt to make your problems go away. How is that possible? Because weed,Terry Taylor, contains a very potent, powerful, chemical, we in the scientific community commonly refer to as “dude,fuck it”. And when the power of “dude, fuck it” gets into your system, it changes your entire outlook on life. Water bill? “Dude, fuck it. I wish they would turn it off, I got ten bottles of Evian in the refrigerator, I've been waiting to crack those things open. Get Shamu on the phone, I'm about to turn this house into Sea World.” SEONGJEONG DOBEOP THE TIBETAN MONK Smoke weed everydaaaaaay. KRISTA South Central Militia, you have obviously failed to follow the first law you learn when dealing drugs, don't hit your own product. You've apparently smoked, snorted, and sniffed your way onto the short bus here at OAOAST highschool. It is my expert diagnosis that your repeated hitting of the bong has caused you to become infected with the very dangerous chemical, the scientific community has dubbed “dude, that's fucking awesome”. Left unchecked, “dude, that's fucking awesome” can be a deadly substance, causing suffers to believe that typically inane, outright moronic ideas, are awesome inventions on the level of the printing press, the electrical grid, and the ignore feature on AOL Instant messenger, attention Melody Nerdly: I am a thirty six year old woman with bills to pay and a daughter to raise, I do not care how badly you just “owned” some eight year old playing on mommy's stolen credit card at World of Warcraft, stop telling me! Back to you Militia, the very fact that you would spend twenty four thousand dollars to get a glorified bitch slapping at what will probably wind up being a movie studio for shooting fetish porn, shows me that “dude, that's fucking awesome” has reached it's most advanced stages and has eroded your capacity for common sense beyond repair. Your scheme, as Terry Taylor so poetically put it “freaking sucks!” ALIX Shakespeare could not have said it with more cutting eloquence. KRISTA Militia, your's is a plan that's thought of as stupid by anyone who didn't spend their childhood living under powerlines, and does not consider paint chips an essential nutrient. Which means Alix, loves it. ALIX Hey, meanie, that's not nice. I never lived under powerlines! TAYLOR Does this mean the first ever Battle of Los Angeles match won't be happening? KRISTA I'd love to give you that great thumbs down, Terry, but they won the auction, and according to the insanely stupid contract drawn up by the feces eating circus monkeys doubling as OAOAST lawyers, that means they can do whatever they want. But let's all take a moment to think about this and mock the SCM for their gross stupidity and outright ignorance. An auction designed to help liberate a country devoted to spreading the message of peace and enlightenment, is now going to most likely result in chaotic bloodshed and career ending violence... ALIX Hope ya packed your asbestos proof swimming trunks and flame retardant underwear, because we're all going to hell! KRISTA Speaking of hell, what we put you clowns through.... ALIX Waiaaaaaait, did you just say......clowns? Krista, I thought you loved me! How could you hurt me with the c word? You know that I'm totally bummed on clowns! KRISTA (tossing her hands up in exasperation) Oh, Alix, please don't do this, not right now,. To quote a phrase that Terry Taylor hasn't heard too often because he's never had a woman he hasn't beaten unconscious first in his bedroom, I have a headache. Does anyone have any shiny objects we can distract her with? ALIX(ignoring Krista's pleas) Ya know, it's been a hella long time since I went crazy with one of my rambling stories that have little to do with anything... KRISTA (to One Eye) Hey, Ice Cube, you got plenty of cheap shiny shit on. So much fake jewelry, I bet even your cholesterol is iced out. Flash some in front of her face. Forget a match, I'll give you my title, just don't let her get started! Please! Krista lunges for One-Eye's wealth of chains, but he pulls back, allowing Alix to begin her story unhindered. ALIX One time when I was widdle widdle girl I was watching my daddy on Showtime at the Apollo doing a classic Al Joloson "Mammy" routine. And the audience was just wubbing it to bits n pieces, chanting my dad's name “Boo you suck! Boo you suck!”. I guess the host messed up when he was introducing my dad, because his name is Anthony not “Boo you suck”. But all of a sudden a portal opens up from another dimension, and a clown named Sandman Sims tap-dances out! Obviously, some alien looking for his big break in show-biz. And my dad's trying to score with Kiki Sheparad, and still has his Bette Middler drag revue to get to, but this clown is probing his every orifice with a broom, giving him a preview of what his next ten years in state prison would be like. So my old man, is like, screw this, and grabs the broom, and tries to fly away, but I guess that only works for witches. So a whole bunch of security dudes storm out, because they totally hate clowns also, but they get confused and think my dad is a clown! Oh no! So they started shooting him with a tazer guns! ZAP! BUZZ! SPAZZT! KATE BECKINSALE! Wait that's the filthy whore that stole the leading role away from me in Underworld not a sound affect. But my daddy's like totally fighting the security off like that one kung fu dude, what's his name? KRISTA Bruce lee? Jackie Chan? ALIX No way Jose! KRISTA (groaning) Uh, Al Roker? ALIX That's it, that's the onezo! So my dad's all like fighting them off, while Sandman tries to run away. But the rhyme goes run, run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man, not run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the Sandman..uh....man. So my dad is like all on top of him and stuff and he's got him in a vertical suplex, then he gets all technical and drops him into an inverted atomic drop, and if this was No Mercy for Nintendo 64, which Melody plays all day, we would've heard a comic DING. But this is real life, so we heard and even comicer, I made up a word!, sound of Sandman falling off the stage and right into Ray Chew and the crew, then bouncing into a very compromising position with Barry White! Can't get enough of your love, indeed, my chocolate honey muffin! Then Sinbad came out and he started tap dancing to! KRISTA(looking over the entrance stage to the floor below) Would a fall from this height be enough to kill me? ALIX So, like, anyway, my mother has to leave her job early to pick me up to go my dad's trial, and if you know anything about whorehouses, getting off early is a major pain in the tush! In more ways then one, that's for sure! And at the trial, Sandman's wife is all like"He was an expected father! He had a kid in college! You robbed him of his dream to see his only son graduate! But at least he died doing what he loved.” Yeah, anywho, snort clowns, they suck! And if Krista off handedly refers to you as clowns, I don't take that as a minor insult to set up a vulgar, alcohol fueled man hating tirade, I take that as a license to slit your throats and bury you in the backyard next to Jodie Foster's decaying corpse. Why wouldn't she be my friend, Terry? I don't understand! VINCENT You done? 'Cause we got.... “Whitey” is quickly silenced by Krista's overpowering voice. KRISTA The only thing you got is to do exactly what I tell you. And what I'm telling you to do as of right now, is to keep your mouth shut. So we're both from the state where the sun always shines, but the only way you're leaving town with these titles is if we stick 'em up where the sun don't shine. You think your twenty four thousand just bought you a ticket to land of milk and honey? I think it just bought you a glorified Starline studio tour, and an opportunity to journey into west LA without getting pulled over by the police and turned into Rodney King 2007. I think it bought you a chance to get busted wide open, left bloody red, and fighting for your life as they rush you to the med. All your money, and all your jaw jacking, just got you in a bunch of shit, and now your soon to get your ass beat. This isn't a Battle of Los Angeles, this is a slaughter of a couple of wannabe gangsters . I'm Krista Isadora Duncan, and I'm worth a lot more then twenty six thousand dollars. ALIX And I'm Alix Maria Spezia, and I like to dress My Little Pony dolls in Fetish Gear. BIATCH! While Krista retreats to throw herself off the roof of the arena, Alix backs away slowly, flashing gang signs, that have no actual meaning, to the confused and irritated Militia. The thuggish pairing attempts to play it cool, making the tried and true belt motion around their waist, but it's obvious their fairly annoyed with the girls' words and actions. The shot returns to a close up of Terry Taylor, who has to shout to make himself heard over the roar of the audience. TAYLOR Fans, there you have it! What started out off as a simple goodwill charity auction, has somehow resulted in the first ever Battle Of Los Angeles match for the OAOAST world tag team titles! I'm sure over the next week, we'll find out what movie studio the match will actually take place in. For now, I'm Terry Taylor, wishing you a good night, and good health. With that we cut back to the announce team of Coach and Michael Cole. COLE (chuckling) Oh that Sandman Sims! He is too much! More after this!Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 HeldDOWN~! returns from commercial break with Dance Dance Dragon already in the ring, dancing to "Hung Up" by Madonna. COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and fans, we are about to begin the next First Round Match In The Tournament For The Vacant OAOAST X-Division Championship! Dance Dance Dragon takes on "La Cicatriz" Ramone Juan Jesus Gutierez! COACH This should be interesting. Talk about a mismatch! Ramone vs. THE DRAGON!? Ha! Whoever set up the brackets should be given a raise. What an easy victory this will be for "La Cicatriz"! COLE Well, let’s just see, Coach. You said the same thing about the Blondes earlier tonight and what happened there? DDD hasn’t been given alot of time to show his stuff. Perhaps this tournament could be his breakthrough? COACH HA! HA! Let’s just get on with it! "Hung Up" by Madonna dies down. Dance Dance Dragon bounces off the ropes and looks to the entrance. A cool, suave Cuban bossa nova song begins playing. The crowd boos. The entrance doors slide open, and Ramone Juan Jesus Gutierez comes out. The boos get louder. Gutierez has a cocky smirk on his face. He raises his hands in the air, garnering more boos. Gutierez walks down the entrance ramp as his entrance theme continues playing. BUFFER And his opponent. From Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 200 lbs. He is "La Cicatriz" RAMONE JUAN JESUS GUTIIIIIIEEERRRREEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Ramone speaks in Spanish directly to the camera as he continues making his way to the ring, calm, cool, cocky, and confident. He walks with a swagger in his step. COLE Ramone Juan Jesus Gutierez is in it to win it in this tournament. An OAOAST rookie, Ramone could make a huge splash by winning his first OAOAST title in less than 8 months! COACH Ramone has a bright future ahead of him. We’ve already seen that he can go many times in the past. Now, his hard work will be rewarded with a title in the form of the X-Division Championship! Ramone just has to give this scrub either the Ramone’s Way or The Switchblade and he’ll move on, conquering 3 more scrubs on the way to winning the X-Division Title! Ramone jaws with some fans at ringside and then climbs the ring steps, then enters the ring. COLE We are 45 days away from finding out who’ll be the next superstar to wear the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt! The tournament continues as two young superstars go at it in First Round action! Speaking of the tournament, here’s some comments made earlier from "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican appears in a little box on the right hand corner of the screen, standing in front of the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! interview set. PRL is wearing sunglasses, his Puerto Rican flag bandana, an earring on his left ear, a gold chain around his neck, and a blue dress shirt that’s unbuttoned. PRL sneers before he speaks. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Greetings, all you pieces of trailer park trash! It is I! YOUR CORPORATE Champion, Tha Puerto Rican! Now I know you are all disappointed that I’m not here on HeldDOWN~! this week, but you see, I have to start making wedding plans with my girl, Lindsay! But don’t fret, Lightning Bolts. The Corporate Champ WILL be here NEXT WEEK! And as for the tournament, I only have three words: JUST BRING IT! It doesn’t matter who Tha Puerto Rican faces, it doesn’t matter how many matches I must have. The fact of the matter is this: come hell or high water, Tha Puerto Rican will beat each and every jabroni you throw at me, and I WILL leave AngleMania VI on April the 1st as the NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion! I’ve already begun. Defeating Kenji ffkjdfjfklds in the First Round. Now onto Dan Black, the so-called OAOAST ’legend’ on February 24th at OAOAST Syndicated, and then, there will be 2 more left. And whoever those 2 jabronies are, they better get ready. Because Tha Puerto Rican is gonna come charging like a bull and giving them a Corporate Nightmare! So watch out for the lightning strikes, because this tournament belongs to me! And that’s the truth, Ruth! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! PRL does the Corporate Eyebrow. He then sneers at the camera. The promo ends. COACH He’s so powerful! He’s a favourite to win! COLE He certainly is, Coach. Tha Puerto Rican to take on "The Ice Heart" Dan Black on February 24th at OAOAST Syndicated. The first Quarterfinal Match-up in the X-Division Tournament. But before we get to that, we must first find out who’ll also advance to the Quarterfinals continuing with this match tonight. COACH Dragon’s screwed. Ramone Juan Jesus Gutierez poses in the center of the ring. The crowd boos loudly. Ramone smiles evilly. Dance Dance Dragon looks at his opponent. Gutierez takes off his very expensive looking black and gold vest, black designer shades, and his Rolex watch, handing the Rolex watch over to a ringside attendant, telling him to watch it (get it? Watch. Watch.). Ramone looks at his opponent for tonight and laughs. COLE Ramone better be careful not to get overconfident. This is a single elimination tournament. One loss and he’s gone! COACH Sure. But come on. I think he can be overconfident for this match. COLE Careful though. His overconfidence may hurt him! Ramone Juan Jesus Gutierez has a smirk on his face. Dance Dance Dragon stands at a turnbuckle corner. Referee Rudy Charles pats down Ramone Juan Jesus Gutierez, and then pats down Dance Dance Dragon. He then calls for the bell as Ramone’s cool, suave Cuban bossa nova theme song dies down. *DING DING DING*FIRST ROUND MATCH IN THE TOURNAMENT FOR THE VACANT OAOAST X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP DANCE DANCE DRAGON vs. RAMONE JUAN JESUS GUTIEREZ Dance Dance Dragon and Ramone Juan Jesus Gutierez stare each other down. The two men circle each other. They lock up. Ramone shoves DDD onto the mat! He then poses. The crowd boos. COLE And Gutierez showcasing his power right now! COACH Heh. Dragon has no chance. Ramone motions for Triple D to get up. DDD gets up. Dragon and Ramone circle each other once again. They lock up. They jockey for position. Gutierez knees Dragon in the gut. He then punches Dragon in the face! He does it again! And again! And a fourth time! Gutierez chops Dragon across the chest! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ramone grabs Dragon and whips him into the ropes. Back elbow sends Triple D down to the mat! Ramone goes for the cover. ONE! TWO! COLE And Ramone Gutierez absolutely dominant in the early portion of this match, not allowing Dragon any offense! Ramone has a smirk on his face as he picks Dance Dance Dragon up. He gives Dragon a vertical suplex. Cover. It gets two! “La Cicatriz” picks Dragon up by his mask and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes, following up with a dropkick! Ramone picks Dragon up again, and gives him a back suplex! He then chokes Dragon with his bare hands! The crowd boos! COLE Now come on! Is this even necessary? COACH Yes. Rudy Charles orders Ramone to break it up. So, he does. The crowd boos some more. Gutierez gets up...and slaps Dragon upside the head! He does it a few times while yelling at Triple D in Spanish. COLE Ramone is just enjoying himself now! COACH He can do that. It’s a free country! Ramone is in control and he knows it baby! HA HA! COLE Dragon’s gotta get things going if he wants to advance! Ramone has just dominated since the bell sounded! Ramone Juan Jesus Gutierez slaps Dance Dance Dragon upside the head again and again! "La Cicatriz" picks Dragon up by his mask, and whips him into a turnbuckle corner. Ramone charges forward--- ---DRAGON MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! ---AND RAMONE HITS THE TURNBUCKLE STERNUM FIRST! COLE Whoa! Dragon moved out of the way just in time! COACH What the hell!? Ramone is stunned. The crowd is starting to come alive. Dance Dance Dragon picks Ramone Juan Jesus Gutierez by his hair and lifts him up onto his shoulders... ...giving him the MUSCLE BUSSSTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH~! COLE Bemani Buster! Bemani Buster! Dragon just gave Ramone his finishing move! COACH He has a finishing move!? The crowd cheers loudly. Dance Dance Dragon covers Ramone Juan Jesus Gutierez, hooking his legs. Referee Rudy Charles counts. The crowd counts along. 1... 2.... 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (3:21) COACH OMGWTFBBQ~!?!?!?!? COLE He did it! He actually did it! You are 0 for 2 tonight, Coach! Dance Dance Dragon is shocked! Rudy Charles raises Triple D’s hands. "Hung Up" by Madonna starts playing as Dance Dance Dragon leaves the ring, still surprised at his victory. Ramone lies on the mat, in pain from the Bemani Buster. BUFFER Here is your winner...and moving onto the Quarterfinals of the tournament...DANCE DANCE DRAGOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Dragon pumps his fist as if to say, "YES!" He raises his hands on the outside and then walks up the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way as "Hung Up" continues playing. COLE What an upset! The heavily favoured Ramone Juan Jesus Gutierez has been ELIMINATED from the X-Division tournament! Dance Dance Dragon is moving onto the Quarterfinals to take on either Spanish Fly or Jay Richards! COACH What the hell? How is this even happening!? DANCE DANCE DRAGON is moving onto the Quarterfinals!?!? DANCE DANCE DRAGON!? The goofball who dresses like a dragon and plays Dance Dance Revolution!? HE is moving on!? Not Ramone! But DRAGON!? COLE Anything can happen in the One And Only AngleSault Thread, Coach! And this is proof! We have just witnessed the Ultimate Upset! Dance Dance Dragon, the longshot in this tournament, has just beaten one man in this tournament. He’s 3 victories away from the X-Division Title! COACH Oh my God. You gotta be kidding! Dance Dance Dragon? If Dance Dance Dragon wins the X-Division Championship at AngleMania VI...oh Lord. Then the OAOAST has sunk to a new low. COLE Oh come on, Coach! DDD jumps up and down on the entrance stage. The crowd cheers loudly. Dragon exits through the sliding doors. Ramone Gutierez is sitting up, surprised. COACH No, seriously, DANCE DANCE DRAGON!? COLE Coach, it’s happened! Ramone is GONE! Dance Dance Dragon is STILL in the tournament! Let’s take a look at the updated brackets. A graphic appears on screen showing the updated brackets for the tournament for the vacant OAOAST X-Division Championship thus far. "Hung Up" by Madonna continues playing.FIRST ROUND"The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican vs. Kenji Kawada - PRL"After Hours" Felix Strutter vs. "Ice Heart" Dan Black - BlackOtaku II vs. James Riggs - RiggsJamie O' Hara vs. Reject - RejectSpanish Fly vs. Jay RichardsDance Dance Dragon vs. Ramone Juan Jesus Guetierez - DDDVitamin X vs. James BlondeLongdogger Pete vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix QUARTER-FINALS"The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican vs. "Ice Heart" Dan Black James Riggs vs. Reject ??? vs. Dance Dance Dragon COLE The Quarterfinals are starting to shape up. PRL, Dan Black, James Riggs, Reject, and now, Dance Dance Dragon, have moved onto the next round! Later on tonight, we will find out who Dragon faces on the March 8th HeldDOWN~! as Spanish Fly takes on Jay Richards! And then next week, the two final First Round Matches as the returning Longdogger Pete takes on Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, and Vitamin X takes on James Blonde! COACH The tournament can still be salvaged! If Prince Vitamin or PRL make it to the Finals, it’s all good! COLE Let’s not count our chickens before they hatch, Coach. We still got a long way to go in this tournament. Remember, AngleMania VI is still 45 days away! COACH That’s why I invented my time machine! COLE You don’t have a time machine. COACH I know. COLE Ugh. Anyway fans, we’ll be right back right after this! Dance Dance Dragon continues on in his Road To AngleMania VI, while Ramone Juan Jesus Gutierez is OUT of the tournament! The Ultimate Upset! Ramone Juan Jesus Gutierez is up in the ring. He is still shocked. But his shock turns to anger as he kicks the bottom rope and curses in Spanish. "Hung Up" by Madonna continues playing as we fade out on Ramone yelling in Spanish while the fans cheer.FADE OUT* COMMERCIAL BREAK * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 SCHIAVONE We're back on HeldDOWN from Albuquerque, fans. It's now time for the second Anderson Cup conference final match. The winner of this contest will take on Los Diablos De Fuego, who pulled off the upset win earlier, in two weeks time at Syndicated. Let's throw it to Michael Buffer. "You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" * DING * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER Wrrrrrrestling fans, the following contest in the 2007 Anderson Cup is for the MWC Conference Championship, set for one fall with a 30 minute time limit! Mackenzie DeCenzo leads the dashing duo of Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright through the sliding doors, all three dressed to the nines in their tailor-made outfits. SCHIAVONE Wait, I thought seconds were barred from ringside? VENTURA Looks like Mackenzie greased some palms...or used some of her other assets. BUFFER Currently on their way to the ring, accompanied by their Chief Financial Officer MACKENZIE DECENZO...representing THE ENTERPRISE, total combined weight 462 pounds, the #3 seeds in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference... "THE NATURAL" CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE Unlike their Enterprise counterparts, Wright and Moneymaker were unsuccessful in their bid to buy the #2 seed in the MWC Conference, turned down by America's Team. VENTURA How did that work out for Moss and Benjamin? SCHIAVONE You know the answer to that one. They were defeated in the semi-finals by the very men they snubbed. VENTURA Yeah, CW and Teddy got the last laugh on that one, didn't they? One win away from the finals. I bet Moss and Benjamin are praying Wright and Moneymaker advance tonight, that way they won't look so stupid when they tell people they rejected an offer from the Billion Dollar Heir. SCHIAVONE As fans who saw our syndicated weekend program know, Theodore Moneymaker extended an olive brance to his cousin Tony Brannigan. Jesse Ventura documented their problems last week. In case you missed it, here is what Theodore had to say about the icy relationship with his cousin. Handing his briefcase and jacket to Mackenzie, Wright rolls into the ring and holds the ropes open for his boss, a sign of respect for the man who signs his checks.* SWOOSH * We cut to a wide shot as the small square box settles in on the top left hand corner of the screen. Standing in front of the Enterprise backdrop are Wright, Moneymaker and Mackenzie. THEODORE Make no mistake about it, little people of the world. The problem I have is with Dan Black and not my own flesh and blood, Tony Brannigan. He was the big brother I never had. Always there to party with, until Dan Black came along. Everything changed the day Tony got the phone call from Dan asking to be his partner in the OAOAST tag team title tournament of 2004. I don't blame for him jumping at the chance to capture championship gold, but I do blame Dan Black for ruining this family's plans to become the biggest force in professional wrestling. It would've been US dominating the tag scene, not some Englishman riding on the coattails of my cousin. It won't be just another match this Thurday night on HeldDOWN~! I'll wrestle my cousin with the respect he deserves as a former World Champion, but I'll break every rule in the book when I'm in there with you, Dan Black. I'll expect the worst out of you just as you'll expect the worst out of me. I leave you with this, Black: blood is thicker than water.* SWOOSH * BUFFER And their opponents in this Conference Final bout! "Quiet" by the Smashing Pumpkins hits as the entranceway is engulfed by black smoke. BUFFER First...hailing from London, England, weighing 242 pounds, the man who has held more championships than any other in the sport today, a four-time tag team champion of the woooooorld, he is "THE ICE HEART"...DAN BLLLLLLAAAAAAACK! His partner...from Hollywood U.S.A., 262 pounds, the former professional wrestling heavyweight champion of the world...TONY BRANNIGAN! Together they are known as the Trans-Atlantic Wrecking Crew... BLLLLLLLAAAAAAAACK TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Black and Tony emerge through the smoke and on their way to the squared circle. SCHIAVONE Jesse, many people have interpreted Moneymaker's comments about blood being thicker then water as meaning Tony's been offered a position with the Enterprise. VENTURA Possibly. I mean, having a former World Champion in your stable would be quite a coup. He'd be by far the most experience member of the company, somebody who can teach the others the ins and outs of professional wrestling. You think Tony would take the family discount, or come full price? SCHIAVONE One thing Tony Brannigan and Theodore Moneymaker have in common is their love of money. Either way, I'm sure Theodore can afford the price tag. Both teams huddle in their respective corners to discuss last minute strategy, until Dan Black breaks away from his to attack Theodore Moneymaker! Right behind is Tony Brannigan, who pulls Christian Wright aside and unloads heavy forearms on the Natural while Black chops the hide off the chest of the Billion Dollar Heir. * DINGDINGDING * Everything going their way early, Black T suddenly find themselves on the defensive as Wright and Moneymaker fight back. In a bit of comedy relief, both teams go for the eyes and blind each other. That doesn't stop CW from lunging at Tony, who hears the rumbling footsteps and lowers the shoulder, tossing Wright over the top and to the floor! Inside, Theodore is the first to fully regain his eye sight and passes up the opportunity to get in a free shot on his cousin, choosing to unleash his fury on Dan Black instead. But the Ice Heart ducks a right and delivers an atomic drop, followed by a nasty running lariat to his tag partner's billionaire sibling. Rather than stay down or roll out to the floor, Moneymaker returns to his feet and is met by a hard kick to the stomach, then an equally painful knife-edge chop before being whipped into the ropes...but CW and Mackenzie are there to pull him out to saftey. SCHIAVONE Dan Black just gave Theodore Moneymaker his two cents, Jesse Ventura! VENTURA Joke all you want, Schiavone, but even you have to give kudos to the team of Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright for hanging in there with Black T. Brawling isn't their method of choice, but they showed they're more than capable of slugging it out. The Enterprise regroup outside and devise a new plan that sees Moneymaker challenge Dan Black one on one, only to turn around and have his Financial Analyst do the dirty work for him. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" WRIGHT SILENCE! Finally, wrestling action. Christian grabs a side headlock out of a collar-and-elbow tie-up and turns it into a hammerlock, but Dan reaches between his legs and yanks Wright off his feet with a single leg trip, immediately trapping the legs for the Sharpshooter. Fortunately for CW, he's able to wiggle free and land a European uppercut. He backs the Ice Heart into the ropes and fires him off after a tag to Moneymaker, who capitalizes on a CW forearm smash to the midsection with the Billion $ Kneelift and A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Theodore slams Black and tags Christian. MIDDLE ROPE ELBOWDROP! ONE... TWO... Save by Tony. He and CW have a few choice words for each other, but that's the extent of it. Referee Charles Robinson back on top of his game after that bad night two weeks ago. Once again the legal man, Theodore covers, but not before he and CW connect on a double snap powerslam! ONE... TWO... But only two. CW is called in for some more double-teaming, but it backfires as Dan ducks the double clothesline and wipes out both men with an STO! SCHIAVONE Apparently the Enterprise didn't study the Sooner Bruisers/Black T match as thoroughly as they should have, or they would've known that was coming. ONE... TWO... DOUBLE KICKOUT! Black smartly tags out in favor of the fresher Tony Brannigan. Eye brows are raised when the former World Champion goes straight for Christian Wright rather than Theodore Moneymaker, the legal man. He shoots Wright off to the far side and displays his strength, military pressing the Natural before slamming him on the canvas. Unlike earlier, Theodore doesn't pass up the chance to cheapshot his cousin this time around, decking Tony from behind! THEODORE (flashing the universal sign of money, or money fingers) SCHIAVONE I can't believe it! Theodore Moneymaker just sucker punched his own cousin! VENTURA More interestingly, he's laughing about it. It obvious he didn't mean what he said about wanting to make-up with Tony. The fact he went through so much trouble just to gain a psychological edge moved him up my favorites list. Teddy reaffirmed what we all already knew, he'll do anything to win. I admire that. No idea who hit him, Tony covers up as best he can while Theodore puts the boots to him. Slapping him upside the head, Moneymaker denounces his cousin for siding with Dan over him following the World 6-man tag title tournament last year. Having shaken off most of the cobwebs, Brannigan's eyes light up in rage once realizing who it is screaming at him. Theodore pleds igornace but Tony refuses to hear that, taking it right to the Billion Dollar Heir. Staggered by a series of right hands, Moneymaker is sent in for the ride and military pressed...into the arms of Christian Wright! Dan Black comes in to get him some and the match degernates into another pier-six brawl, much to the fans delight. SCHIAVONE We gotta take a break! VENTURA What, now?! SCHIAVONE Yeah. As always, the tape machines are rolling. Should the match end during the break we'll show you what happened on replay. Stay with us! You won't be HeldDOWN~! for long! * COMMERICAL * Before he was Mr. Fantastic, Craig T. Nelson was...Coach. Also starring Jerry Van Dyke, the Stephen Baldwin of the Van Dyke acting family and from "My Mother, the Car" fame. COACH Weeknights on TSM. * COMMERICAL * We return from break to see Theodore Moneymaker as in bad of shape actress Sharon Stone was in Germany. The Billion Dollar Heir is backdropped out of the corner and set up for the Attitude Adjustment Piledriver...but Christian Wright steps in and hits the SUPERKICK to save his boss, who floats on top for the cover! ONE... TWO... NO!! Dan Black kicks Theodore in the balls to breakup the pin. Luckily it was lightning quick, otherwise it would've been an automatic disqualification. Moneymaker rolls to his corner grimacing in pain but is able to make the tag. Wright drops an elbow on Tony for good measure and covers. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! A get-that-weak-shit-out-of-here type of kickout. CW keeps Tony grounded with a reverse chinlock, grinding the knee into the spine of the back in the process. Like his partner did two weeks ago, Dan Black baits the fans into rallying behind Tony by slapping the top turnbuckle feverishly. VENTURA Look at Dan Black pandering to the crowd. Black T, as great as they are, may be the most desperate team left in the tournament, Schiavone. They've become the aging team in a division filled with youth. SCHIAVONE But also inexperience, as I'm sure you'd admit. Besides, even without the help the crowd would still be on Black T's side because they have the respect of everyone in our great sport. Tony rises to his feet and drops down with Wright, smacking the crown of his head into the jaw of the Enterprise's Financial Analyst. Dan Black positions himself for the tag, but Theodore Moneymaker sprints over and knocks him off the apron. Heads up move on Theodore's part, enabling him and CW to make the exchange. Moneymaker whips Brannigan hard into the buckle, then charges in and drives the shoulder into the midsection again and again. The Billion Dollar Heir unleashes a fury of right hands and chops, all while in his cousin's face. Yet another tag is made by the team of Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright. The Natural picks up where Teddy left off, hammering the former heavyweight champion of the world with a combination of European uppercuts and knife-edge chops. Even Mackenzie DeCenzo gets in on the act. CW sets it up by choking Brannigan on the middle rope before backing away at the request of the referee, which allows the Enterprise CFO to SLAP the taste out of Tony's mouth! "MACKIE IS A BITCH!" "MACKIE IS A BITCH!" "MACKIE IS A BITCH!" Mackenzie throws it right back at the fans, taking a bow at their less than flattering chant. Wright hits the ropes and slides outside Big Boss Man (RIP) style, nailing Brannigan with a European uppercut from the arena floor. Then it's to the air. Christian paces himself as he climbs to the top, not wanting to rush things. Hindsight 20/20, perhaps he should have. Tony gets the KNEES UP as CW comes off the top with the FROG SPLASH! SCHIAVONE This may be the opening Tony needs to make the tag, Jesse. VENTURA Dan Black standing by, as is Theodore Moneymaker. Let's not forget, it's as important for CW to tag out as it is Tony. Both are reeling. The turtle race is on. Brannigan and Wright looking to tag first, and it's CW...followed closely by Tony. Moneymaker is leveled by Black on the way in, the Ice Heart thrusting both forearms hard into the chest of the Billion Dollar Heir. Wright swings and misses, and Dan makes him pay by hitting a double-arm DDT. Theodore tries to surprise Dan with a flying double axehandle smash, but he's caught in a bear hug on the way down...NORTHERN LITES SUPLEX! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO!! Quickly, Black grabs the arm...La Majistral cradle! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Black returns to a vertical base and eats a SPEAR! SCHIAVONE My goodness, Christian Wright came out of nowhere with that spear! Wright places Dan in a front facelock, the prelude to one of two finishing moves, but Tony Brannigan is there to ram the knee into the back, a RUDE AWAKENING for CWii VENTURA There's so much action going on I don't know how to call it. I just know Black T are in the driver's seat. The fans rise as Black T eye Moneymaker, resulting in a chant for "3-B." Knowing what lies ahead, Mackenzie DeCenzo hops on the apron to buy her associates time. Dan and Tony brush the referee aside and plant a big wet one on DeCenzo! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Repulsed, Mackie jumps down and wipes her mouth with the sleeve of her pinstrip suit jacket. Moneymaker avenges the honor of his CFO, blindsiding Black T, sending Tony Brannigan tumbling outside and Dan Black throat-first into the top rope with a clothesline. Theodore stalks Dan on the way up and locks him in the BANK VAULT, but the Ice Heart is able to land an elbow to the ribs and slips out and around...CROSS ARM GERMAN SUPLEX! ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO!! Black goes right to his next move, a CRADLE PILEDRIVER...but rather than go straight for the pin he pops up and gives the THROAT/SLASH~! SCHIAVONE I don't think Dan Black is through, Jesse. He wants to send Theodore a message. VENTURA The best message Black can send is by winning the match. He just wants to hurt Moneymaker. Dan scales the turnbuckles...TOP ROPE DIVING HEADBUTT!! SCHIAVONE That's it! It's all over! Or so you'd think. Mackie distracts the referee on the apron as Wright slides in and rakes Black's eyes. Like a thief in the night, CW gets his job done fast, hooking Dan for a suplex but first hangs the feet on the top rope and then snaps him over with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! VENTURA The Conversion Rate! CW drapes Teddy's arm across Dan's chest and flees, nailing Tony with an STO on the arena floor. ONE... TWO... THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, the 2007 Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Champions, advancing onto the 3rd annual Anderson Cup Finals...CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mackenzie throws his arms up in celebrating, rushing inside to congrat the MWC Conference champions and 2007 Anderson Cup finalists. SCHIAVONE Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright have advanced. What a heartbreaking loss for Black T, Jesse. VENTURA Dan Black and Tony Brannigan have nothing to be ashamed. They gave it everything. Just when it looked like they were gonna pull it off, Mackie does her thing, distracts the referee -- and who can blame him -- CW comes in, rakes Black in the eyes and nails him with the Conversation Rate. 1-2-3. Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker, your winners. SCHIAVONE Whatever the future holds, Black T will go down as the greatest tag team in OAOAST history. 3-time tag team champions, former HI-YAH tag team champions and former Award Award winners for Tag Team of the Year. But tonight is the Enterprise's night. They advance to the finals which will be held on our Syndicated program February 25th. Stay with us. More to come!NEXT: Spanish Fly vs. Jay Richards in 1st round X-Tourney action!Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 Saturday Night's All Right hits, and Jay Richards gets a mixed reaction as he comes to the ring. COLE Time for action in the X-division tournament! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFERThe following contest is a first-round match in the OAOAST X-division tournament, scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, hailing from Orange City, Iowa, weighing in at 199 pounds...JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRICHARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE And Jay Richards, who made his surprise return a couple weeks ago at AnglePalooza, could really get his career back on track by winning this tournament! Richards rolls into the ring and poses on the buckles, as Krokodilamadurinn hits, and Spanish Fly makes its way to the ring, getting a big pop. BUFFERHis opponent, hailing from San Diego, California, weighing in at 175 pounds...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPANISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! Fly hops into the ring and poses on the buckles, as the bell rings. *DING DING DING* Fly and Richards stand across from one another in the middle of the ring, as Richards talks trash. Eventually, Richards takes a swing at him, which Fly ducks, and delivers a right hand of his own! Fly delivers two more rights then grabs a side headlock. Richards pushes Fly off, the drops down, and Fly attemps a springboard moonsault! Richards catches him, but Fly slips off in front and takes Richards across the ring with an armdrag! COLE Some quick action in the early going between Spanish Fly and Jay Richards! Richards charges Fly, and Fly leapfrogs him, then drops down and catches him with a reverse monkey flip! Fly charges Richards, and knocks him through the ropes with a spinning wheel kick! COACH And Jay Richards having a lot of trouble keeping up here in the early going! Fly measures Richards, then runs to the corner, and attempts a springboard bodypress to the outside, but Richards sidesteps him and Fly lands on the floor with a thud! COLE But nice presence of mind there! Richards stomps away at Fly, then picks him up and throws him into the steel steps! COLE And Fly tasting the steel steps! Richards shoves Fly back into the ring, then climbs onto the apron and delivers a GUILLOTINE LEGDROP~! to the back of the head! Richards jumps up and poses, drawing boos. COACH And Jay Richards with the clear advantage now! Richards picks up Fly, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! He then delivers a second, knocking him right to the mat! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Richards poses some more briefly, then picks up Fly and whips him into the ropes. Fly ducks a clothesline, then delivers a dropkick! COLE But Fly could be mounting an early comeback! Fly delivers a second dropkick, then steps to the apron. He springboards, and attempts a hurricanrana, but Richards counters with a sitout powerbomb! COACH But a great counter by Jay Richards! Richards slowly gets to his feet, then delivers a snap suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Richards whips Fly into the ropes, and delivers a TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER~! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Richards kicks Fly around the ring, then picks him up and sets up a pumphandle lift, pointing out to the crowd and drawing boos. He lifts Fly, and drops him across the knee! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Richards attempts to hold Fly down on the mat, locking hands with him. He forces him down for one more cover... 1... 2... Fly bridges, then lays back down. Richards hops up, and when he does, Fly picks his feet up, allowing himself to push Richards back and get to his feet. He then runs to the ropes, hops up top, backflips back in, and catches Richards with a DDT~! COACH Whoa! COLE What a move by Spanish Fly! The crowd is on its feet as both men lay on the mat. They slowly get back to their feet, and Fly backs into the ropes and hits Richards with a dropkick, sending him out to the floor. He again tries the springboard bodypress, but this time is able to catch himself on the apron, as Richards has already slid back in, hitting Fly with a dropkick of his own and sending him back to the floor! COLE What action in this match! Richards slowly rolls to the outside and grabs Fly, then rolls him back into the ring. He sizes him up from behind, his arms outstretched. COACH Uh-oh, he could be setting up for the chicken wing! Richards starts to hook it, but Fly spins out and executes an armdrag! He tries a quick dropkick, but Richards moves out of the way, then delivers a dropkick of his own to the back as Fly sits on the mat! COLE Both of these men so quick, both mentally and physically! Richards picks up Fly and backs him into a corner, then delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Richards delivers a right hand, and Fly returns fire! They trade another pair of right hands, then Fly spins Richards around in the corner and delivers a flurry, then a CHOP~! of his own! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! He whips Richards across, then charges with a front flip, but Richards moves out of the way, and Fly gets caught in a tree of woe! COLE And Fly's trapped now! Richards turns around, and delivers a dropkick! COACH And Richards has him at his mercy right now! Richards backs all the way into the opposite corner, and poses, drawing boos. He then charges Fly, but Fly lifts himself up, and Richards slides into the ringpost, crotching himself! COLE Not after that one! The crowd audibly groans, as Fly frees himself, then balances himself on the top rope as Richards slides to the outside, and catches him with a FRONT FLIP to the outside! COLE And finally, a big offensive move by Fly! Fly yells out to the crowd, which offers encouragement, then rolls Richards inside. Richards gets to his feet, and Fly jumps on his shoulders from behind and executes a VICTORY ROLL~! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Richards quickly catches Fly with a clothesline! COACH But look at how quick Jay Richards is to respond! Richards signals for the end. COLE Could be the Tornado Moonsault! Richards goes out to the apron, then springs inside, landing on the middle rope, and flipping back...onto the knees of Fly! COLE But Fly got the knees up! Fly goes to the top rope as Richards gets to his feet, and floors him with a CORKSCREW MOONSAULT~! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! Fly delivers a bodyslam to Richards, then drags him into the corner. He attempts a SPLIT-LEGGED MOONSAULT~!, but Richards gets the knees up! COLE And this time it's Richards getting the knees up! Richards quickly picks up Fly and delivers a HUGE powerbomb, folding Fly's legs to the mat... 1... 2... NO!!! Kickout! COACH How did he kick out of that one??? Richards goes to the top rope, posing as he allows Fly to get to his feet. COLE And Jay Richards looking to finally finish off Spanish Fly! Richards leaps off, but Fly catches him with a dropkick coming down! Richards hops up, then falls forward landing on the middle rope! COACH Uh-oh! Fly yells out "6-1-9!" then backs into the ropes, and drills Richards, sending him back out to the middle of the ring! COLE 6-1-9, and now Fly looking to finish! Fly goes outside and measures Richards, springing up and hitting the FLY-SWATTER~!!! COLE He got it! Cover... 1... 2... 3!!! COLE Spanish Fly advances! *DING DING DING* BUFFERThe winner of the match, advancing in the tournament...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPANISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! COLE A terrific match, great effort from Jay Richards, but it'll be Spanish Fly advancing in the tournament! Fly raises his arms, and as he does, he receives a knee in the back from Richards! COLE Wait a minute! Richards sizes Fly up, and hooks him in the CROSS-FACE CHICKEN WING~!!!111 COLE Richards now with the chicken wing hooked on Fly after the match is over! Several referees run to the ring, as Richards refuses to release the hold. Finally, Colombian Heat rushes to the ring, and Richards releases the hold and bails. COLE What a sore loser Jay Richards is! Richards looks on with a smirk on his face, the crowd booing as Heat checks on Fly in the ring. COLE Well, Jay Richards may think he's a winner right now, but it'll be Spanish Fly and not him moving on in the tournament! A poor display of sportsmanship on the part of Jay Richards! COACH Psh, Jay just never heard the bell. COLE Right. Main event, Caboose vs. Maddix, NEXT!Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 *DINGDING!* BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with NO Disqualifications and NO Count-Outs!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Alright, here we go Coach! The 'Boose is back to defend the OAOAST's honour tonight, against Landon Maddix. COACH Let's hope he shoves that cricket bat right up his fu... "REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!" "Personal Jesus" powers through the arena and it's main event time, as the birthday boy Landon Maddix emerges onto the stage. Stretching his arms out to soak in the abuse of the fans, Landon seems defiant in the face of the match he's about to compete in. Especially with a bright green party hat wedged on his head. Megan Skye appears at the side with a party streamer, but not a the matching party hat, despite Landon's insistance. BUFFER Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE! He hails from Madrid, Spain, by way of Huron, South Dakota... weighing in tonight at two hundred, eight pounds. Buffer produces a cuecard from his pocket, under the duress of Landon. BUFFER He is the number one contender to the SWF World Heavyweight Championship... COACH Who cares? BUFFER ...and, today, celebrates his twenty third birthday... COLE Again, who cares!? BUFFER ...here is LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMAAAAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Ignoring the deadpan delivery, Landon thanks the world's most famous ring announcer for his intro once he's spun into the ring. Maddix then takes the microphone and calls for the music to be cut, grinning from ear to ear as he looks out across the fans. No birthday cheer from them, their presents limited to middle fingers and abusive cries. Still... MADDIX Thank you Albuquerque! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Now, I'm sure you're all itching to see the guy who's spent the last few years hiding behind a microphone come out for his 'triumphant return', but before we get to that, there's one more thing to be taken care of. Today is my twenty-third birthday. Which comes with many traditions. Cake. Presents. And festivities. And seeing as I don't trust any of you people to give me the bumps without trying to bump my proverbial uglies, male and female, I will instead settle for a rendition of Happy Birthday before I start this match! COLE Oh, come on! How egotistical can one person be? MADDIX So, everybody, after three... "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" The fans don't even wait for '1' before starting up a song of their own! Maddix scowls a little, waiting for the rendition to stop. However, as it does, "Cochise" by Audioslave hits and Landon's birthday celebrations will have to go on hold, perhaps indefinately if the man on his way to the ring has his way. Lowering from the rafters, Caboose finds safe ground on the stage and points his cricket bat threateningly in Landon's direction as the crowd go wild! BUFFER And, introducing his opponent! Hailing from Derby, England... weighing two hundred and twenty five pounds... please welcome back to HeldDOWN~!... CCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE It's been a fair few months since we last saw Caboose, destroyed by Landon's on again, off again running buddies The Wildcards and becoming one of the first OAOAST victims. We know that Leon Rodez is on his way back and now, Caboose is fit and ready to go, although how long his in-ring comeback will last is anyone's guess. COACH Hopefully long enough so Maddix gets what he deserves! As Caboose slides into the ring Landon promptly slides out, perhaps forgetting about the party hat still on his head which makes his reminstrations to the referee about Caboose's cricket bat all the more ludicrous. COLE Landon got himself into this at AnglePalooza, by involving himself in Bruce Blank's plan to win Survive Or Surrender, which basicall consisted of hanging Zack Malibu. Luckily Caboose was waiting in the wings, Zack obviously covering every angle on that night just incase. And with Zack busy in training for his huge main event showdown with Drek Stone at AngleMania VI, it's left to Caboose to exact some revenge for the number one contender. *DINGDINGDING!* Continuing to stall for time, Landon talks strategy with Megan, the sumb of which seems to be 'don't get hit with the bat'. A wise strategy, one which comes into immediate effect as Caboose tires of waiting and rolls out of the ring with the bat in hand... COACH HOLY CRAP! *WHOOSH!* ...narrowly missing Landon AND MEGAN with a wild swing, BUT KNOCKING THE PARTY HAT CLEAN OFF OF LANDON'S HEAD! Landon, having pulled Megan down to safety, has to shove his manageress out of the way before crawling away in fear of his life! The barricade stops his progress, unable to maneuver over it quickly enough... *CRACK!* ...and JUST AVOIDING the bat as it instead slams into the guardrail!! COLE Woah! Caboose is trying to knock Landon's head clean off his shoulders! I've been hit by that bat more than my fair share of times and let me tell you folks, it's not a pleasant experience. COACH Not where 'Boose hits you it ain't. COLE What does tha... actually, nevermind. Going into reverse, Landon skips away, pleading for mercy. After all, it's his birthday, even without his party hat. Caboose is hot on his heels though and Landon is finds himself trapped again, bumping into the ringpost... *CLUNK!* ...but DUCKS again, the willow bat proving it's lethal strength by withstanding the colission with the steel in one piece! Caboose growls at his latest airshot and turns around looking for Landon, who's suddenly disappeared. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Where'd he go, I didn't see. COACH He's under the ring Mikey. And he might wanna stay there too with the mood Caboose is in. Unfortunately for Caboose, this is the one time he wouldn't mind being hooked up to a headset with Jonathon Coachman and there not one in sight. So he's still clueless about where his opponent has gone, looking through the crowd for any signs of movement. As his eye is taken Megan Skye begins to sneak up, eyes on the cricket bat. But before she can grab it, Caboose's eyes lock on her and she finds herself in the same position Landon was earlier. Trapped like a dear in the headlights, with a cricket bat being aimed at her head! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAA..." *WHAM!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Caboose takes his mind off of Landon though and doesn't see him emerging on the other side of the ring and subsequently wiping him out with a Suicide Dive through the bottom and middle ropes! The low trajectory makes the dive more of a tackle and sends Caboose crashing shoulder first into the guardrail, the cricket bat going flying in the other direction as Megan rushes over to tend to Landon! COLE As sneaky and as unconventional as it was, that was one heck of a momentum changer by Landon Maddix! Pushing to his knees, Landon brushes Megan's concern away and tells her to 'get the bat'. Frantically Megan does just that and under Landon's direction she rushes off down the aisle with it, heading backstage with Caboose's trusty equalizer in tow! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And now, Megan Skye, taking the cricket bat out of the equation! Not a moment to soon for Landon's liking I'm sure! COACH Much as I hate to admit it, that's a smart move right there. Get that thing as far away from 'Boose's grasp as possible before he smashes you for six like an Australian spinner. COLE ... COACH What? I've been doing my research. Picking Caboose back up, The Next Generation rests the Brit against the guardrail... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and lashes him with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second! He then pitches Caboose back into the ring, shrugging off the chance to take advantage of the no disqualification stipulation and taking things into his domain. Climbing to the apron, Landon measures Caboose as he gets back to his feet. The shoulder is still a concern for 'Boose, nursing the right arm at his side as he turns around, unable take evasive action as Landon springboards to the top and knocks him down with a Springboard Dropkick! The cover follows... 1... 2... But Caboose kicks out! "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Scooping 'Boose off the canvas, Landon targets the shoulder briefly with an arm wringer, only really to set-up an irish whip into the corner. As the Brit settles in the turnbuckles Landon then follows in, landing a Running Forearm against the buckles. Another whips now sends Caboose across the ring into the opposite corner and Landon looks for the same again, running in with the forearm wielded...AND EATS A MOUTHFUL OF BOOT!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Coming out of the corner with a clothesline, Caboose says to hell with an aching shoulder and mows Landon down! A second clothesline follows! And a third, forcing Landon to stop, drop and beg off from the Brit! COLE Oh no no. Wishful thinking to say the least! COACH Well, it was worth a try. Or, maybe not, Caboose never going to give Landon a reprieve. Pulling him up, he sends Landon into the corner with an irish whip. His version with enough force to cause Landon to bounce back out of the turnbuckles on impact, stumbling into Caboose who presses The Next Generation up and lets him plummet all the way back down, face-first! Landon bounces hard off the canvas, back to his feet, Caboose running off the ropes behind and using Landon's long blond locks to plant him again, this time with a Facecrusher! CABOOSE C'MOOOOONN!! Caboose is ALL fired up right now! Something which Landon doesn't want to deal with anymore, rolling out of the ring to safety. Caboose isn't fooled by the attempts to escape under the ring this time though and reaches out of the ring, grabbing hold of Landon by the hair again... *CLANG!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND TAKING A TRASH CAN LID OVER THE HEAD!! COACH Why the hell do they keep the trash cans there? COLE I'm sure that's what Caboose is thinking right now. You know, in between the pain and all. Caboose slumps further into the middle rope as Maddix disposes of the bent metal lid and slides back in. Off the ropes, a full head of steam accompanies Landon back into Caboose with a Dropkick to the back, whiplashing his throat off the middle ring rope! 'Boose then falls back into the cover from La Cucaracha... 1... 2... NO! "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" COLE The OAOAST fans, solidly behind the former voice of HeldDOWN~! The crowd support doesn't seem to be doing Caboose much good at the moment, Landon able to pick his spots as he stalks over the Derby native. A straight kick to the gut rocks Caboose back onto his knees, 'Boose pulling himself up only to get another hard kick driven into his chest! He remains on his feet though, so Maddix loads him into the ropes and whips him across the ring. Caboose comes back swooping, ducking underneath Landon's final attempt at a kick. Keeping his run going, Caboose bounces off the ropes again and as Landon turns around, the two-time former OAOAST Champion is charging headlong at him, tackling the two-time former SWF Champion down with a Spear!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" With the wind driven out of him, it's all instinct that drags Landon back up to his feet. His instincts are wrong however, regretting not staying down as Caboose pulls him down with the End Of The Line!! COLE Flatliner from Caboose! COACH But he's not going for the cover, 'Boose isn't done yet! Indeed, climbing to his feet, Caboose walks across the ring to where he expects his cricket bat to be laying. Of course, it's not there anymore thanks to Megan Skye though. So Caboose is forced to make a little bit of a longer walk, grabbing Michael Buffer's chair from underneath him. COLE Caboose isn't here for a victory or a payday. He's here for revenge in Zack Malibu's name! And what's revenge without a chair in the face, really? Folding up the chair, Caboose slides in and circles The Next Generation. Landon is having a distinctly unhappy birthday at the moment and it's only about to get worse, as Caboose is set to deliver him one last, special present, rearing back... *CRACK!* ...AND GETTING THE CHAIR KICKED BACK INTO HIS FACE BY TODD CORTEZ!? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE WHAT THE HELL!? COACH We should have known it! We should have known Landon wouldn't be alone tonight! The Albuquerque crowd give Cortez the traditional hostile welcome as he picks up the chair, measuring Caboose. The Brit is dazed from the first shot and although he sees the second one coming, he can't do anything to avoid it. *CRACK!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE A second time with that steel chair! This is turning into a glorified handicap match! Caboose goes down in a heap and Cortez throws down the chair, Landon watching on and trying his best to look surprised. The Urban Legend tells the birthday boy to 'finish it' as he sits back in the corner and Landon is happy to oblige. Draging 'Boose up, Maddix slowly lifts the deadweight Derby native up onto his shoulders, struggling a little even after all the work Cortez done for him. But, eventually, Landon manages to power Caboose forward... *SMACK!* "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...INTO THE KNEE TO THE FACE!! GO 2 SLEEEEEEEP-UH!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Give me a break! Cortez does the work and now Landon's going to try and claim the victory off of this? Landon makes a typically theatrical deal over making the cover, Cortez watching on with arms folded... 1... 2... COLE C'mon 'Boose, C'MON 'BOOSE... 3!!! COLE DAMNIT! *DINGDINGDING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER Here is your winner... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MAAADDIIIIXXXX!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Nobody in the arena likes it, Buffer included. Not even referee Nick Patrick, who begrudgingly calls for the bell but doesn't make the slightest move to raise the winner's hand. Landon doesn't care though, as he's already on his way out of the ring before Caboose comes back around. COLE Thanks to Todd Cortez, Maddix survives his birthday intact. I guess Cortez is taking Landon up on his offer... and even without Bruce Blank, the OAOAST is still in the grip of these damn invaders! What a sickener to end HeldDOWN~! From Coach, this is Michael Cole and well, you make your own comments. I've got standards to keep up with and right now, I don't think I can. We'll see you next week. Cortez stays unemotive about the result but leaves by Landon's side, taking the abuse from the crowd just as La Cucaracha does. Retrieving his battered party hat and placing it back on his head, Landon poses for the baying crowd. Nevermind that there's a huge dent in it, to the point that it sits almost horizontal on his head. Landon doesn't care, singing a solo rendition of 'Happy Birthday To Me' as we...FADE OUT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2013 Written by Zack Malibu Phoenix Fury Legdrop King Cucaracha Tony149 Alfdogg KingPK Ed Wood Caulfield Patty O'GreenGran Poobah of C&Ping Segments KingPK © 2007 OAOAST Entertainment. All rights reserved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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