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2016 OAOAST New Year's Spectacular~!


Tony149

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TV M
L, V, N


PRESENTED IN OAOASTHD

* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA *

Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight.

oao2.jpg

THE OAOAST... WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~!

The show opens with a shot of New Year's eve revelers at various cities -- New York, Paris, Tokyo, Mexico, etc -- counting down from 10-1 (in their native language). Images of OAOAST superstars in action mesmerize the crowds. Then a OAOAST logo shaped New Year's ball drops in various parts of the world!

2016 OAOAST NEW YEAR'S SPECTACULAR

BOOM!
BOOM!
BOOM! 
B O O M

We pan around the sea of humanity packed inside the sold out arena before swooping over to Renee and Da Coach at Sofa Central, both dressed to the nines. 

RENEE
Happy New Year--

MELISSA (O.S.)
Happy New Year y'all! 

RENEE
:huh:

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Newly crowned OAOAST Women's tag champions Melissa Nerdly and Anastasia Violetta hear it from the OAOAST Galaxy as they head to the ring. Guitar strapped to her back Melissa sports a wireless headset. 

RENEE
Well this is a--

COACH
Welcomed surprise! *blows noise maker* 

MELISSA
I hope y'all had a Merry Christmas. I know I did. As you can see, Santa was real good to me. *pats tag title around waist* 

ANASTASIA
:) 

MELISSA
But I know for a lot of you 2015 was a bad year. A real bad year. Let your heart not be troubled because it's a new year! And what does a new year bring? A fresh start! A chance to put the past behind you and start anew. 
(singing)
Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Should old acquaintance be forgot, and old lang syne?

Melissa waves for Renee to join her inside. 

RENEE
:huh: 

Melissa motions toward Renee again. 

MELISSA
Come on. Bring it in, sister. *smiles*

With some encouragement from Coach Renee decides to join the ladies inside. 

MELISSA
(drapes arm across Renee's neck)
Now, I know you said something mean and hurtful a couple weeks ago--

ANASTASIA 
Really mean.

MELISSA (CONT'D)
-- but like I said, the new year brings about a fresh start. Being a good Christian I had already forgiven you, but I want the OAOAST Galaxy to know it. So I got you a gift!

RENEE
:picard-disgust:

MELISSA
Wait till you get a load of it. It'll knock you into next year! Now no peaking. 

Anastasia occupies Renee's attention as Melissa removes her GUITAR strap. 

COACH
Uh-oh. 

Waiting to play a painful tune Melissa chokes up on her guitar and swings for the fences... only for the lights to go out. 

COACH
AAH!

When the lights turn back on GLOSS is standing behind Melissa holding her guitar!

MELISSA
:girlimpossible:

RENEE
:o 

Wagging her finger Gloss tells Melissa her vendetta ends here. But Anastasia comes to Melissa's aid pouncing on Gloss who fights her off only to be EL KABONGED by Melissa! 

COACH
DAYUM~!

Spencer Reiger finally arrives on the scene upset over Melissa's actions. Melissa apologizes, but when Spencer goes to check on Gloss Melissa nails him with a LOW BLOW!

SPENCER
:o

Phecda and Al Houd then hit the ring and attack Spencer and Gloss at Melissa's order!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The look on Melissa's face as she watches her goons do a number on her ex can only be described as angelically sinister. Then she and Anastasia get in in the fun attacking Gloss.

RENEE
Boy was I right about Melissa. That girl is cray cray!

COACH
Why can't you chicks ever get along?

Thankfully Blaine Cayley, wielding his CRICKET BAT, rushes the ring to chase off Melissa and company. 

COMMERCIAL

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*** Anderson Cup, 1st Round: The Party Brigade w/ Amberlyn Duncan vs. The Army of 1 Nation w/ Judge Dudd ***

The OAOAST kicked off the New Year with the start of the 2016 Anderson Cup.

RENEE
A OAOAST tradition! 

COACH
The winner going on to face whomever the OAOAST tag champions are at AngleMania. 

RENEE
And let's not forget it was during last year's Anderson Cup that the Army of 1 Nation -- at the time the reigning champions -- claimed to have defeated every tag team on the OAOAST roster in Bloomington, Indiana. 

COACH
Do we have to bring that up again?

RENEE
Yeah. Because not only was their claim false, the OAOAST hadn't even ran a show anywhere near Bloomington, Indiana. Then when they had the opportunity to put their money where their mouth is during The Challenge, they hid in the shadows!

COACH
They're not hiding now. 

Perhaps the Ao1N wished they had because TPB got the best of them, picking up the W after J.Riggs speared Blackhawk. Even Amberlyn got in on the fun as the Yorkshire Terrier in her purse (a Christmas present from Riggs) escaped and chased Judge Dudd to the back!

Winners: The Party Brigade, via pinfall.

TO THE BACK~!, where the Chirstmas party is long over and now we're celebrating the New Year in the interview lounge as Sophie is living it up with the bubbly. Of course an apple cider drinking Sugar has to spoil the fun.

SUGAR
If you think cooler heads have prevailed well they ain't!

SOPHIE
What eeze zhis?

SUGAR
You sent me home to calm down 'cause of what Sabrina said about me.

SOPHIE
I 'av not. You 'av missed work for deux weeks! I 'av been fining you every day.

SUGAR
You been what?! That's my lunch money.

SOPHIE
I pay for your food. Ne blâmez pas Sabrina.

SUGAR
I'll blame her all the dang well I please! She done ran my name through the mud. Called me pig shit, nasty troll and all sorts of things, and you didn't even care, did ya?

SOPHIE
I care that you are at work and healthy.

SUGAR
What about happy?

SOPHIE
You 'av never been 'appy since I 'ave known you. Vous êtes une petite fille en colère.

SUGAR
I ain't angry, I ain't little and I ain't a girl! I'm a well adjusted, average sized WOMAN, and I ain't gonna let no angry little girl talk bad on my name. You better tell, Sabrinba Oakheart, next time she sees me she's gonna ride space mountain WHOOOOOOO~!

SOPHIE
Zhat eez not what zhat means!

Sugar has said her cool line and so walks off, but manages to catch the eye of the corner based, PETE-O

RENEE
Hey! That guy finished dead last in TMW: Revolution, why's he still around?

COACH
I think Remy and Rico vouched for him.

RENEE
A street magician and a jobber are all we need for the vetting process?!

COMMERCIAL
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***OAOAST Women's Title: Holly Vs Bobbi***

RENEE
Morgan was the first Hottie to be a four time champion, so we asked the OAOAST Galaxy will Holly be the second and they said no. Sorry, Holly.

COACH
You cold to just say it bluntly like that. You gotta finesse bitches.

RENEE
There's nothing finesse about these two sexy girls!

Holly got right up in Bobbi's face the second the bell rung!

HOLLY
(beep) your dead beat dad who walked out your life, (beep) your trailer trash mom, and (beep) your piece of shit uncle that no one sees anymore, and most of all (beep) you!

That just Holly pie faced into the corner. Referee Stasiak called for a clean break, but got shoved down by Bobbi, and then had to watch Asscake unload on Holly with forearms. When Holly was beat to the ground, Bobbi then started jumping on her head!

BOBBI
Nope, eff you!

COACH
Eff?

Bobbi brought Holly to the center of the ring and further terroized her head with stomps, punches, and kicks.

RENEE
So now we know Bobbi's mind isn't focused on Maya for once, now its focused on retaining her title belt.

Holly didn't suffer a prolonged beating as it turned out and started blasting Bobbi with punches. Her steel toed combat boots then stomped on Bobbi's foot, then when she dropped down stomped on Bobbi's hands.

HOLLY
Gonna cry, girl scout? Go cry to Maya!

BOBBI
You don't get to use her name!

Bobbi speared Holly and the two went into a terrible fight, there was clothes tearing, biting, gouging and hair pulling.

RENEE
This like 3 am on Tuesday out with Krista and Alix!

The Hotties kept fighting all the way out of the ring. There Holly tossed Bobbi into the steel steps and ripped out the French announce desk monitors.

RENEE
I don't think you need that to do your job, Holly!

Bobbi had already rolled into the ring, but Holly followed in with her monitor. She didn't get a chance to use it as Bobbi headbutted her in the vagina!

“OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!”

With Holly having dropped the monitor, Bobbi picked it up and was ready to throw rules to the wind to hit her.

STASIAK
Stop!

BOBBI
Lemme alone!

STASIAK
I'll disqualify you!

BOBBI
Who cares?!

STASIAK
Wait, Maya, wouldn't like if you lost the match this way!

Bobbi, for some reason, believed this bullshit and held a heavy heart for possibly upsetting Maya. And that's when Holly grabbed hold of her and hit her with The Mirage to win her fourth women's title.

Winner: Holly, via pinfall.

Post-match our new champion had one message.

HOLLY
Holly-four, Gretchen-zero.

And we weren't done with the frieworks yet. Stasiak helped Bobbi to her feet, and when she was fully recovered, she paid him back by headbutting him in the dick, not once, not twice, not thrice, not fourice, not fivce, by six times! Six times in the dick! Lord have mercy!

RENEE
The legend of Meat is ruined!

 

ANGLEPALOOZA

January 31, 2016

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*** Tables Match: Deuce Deuce Bigelow & Jumbo vs. "The King of Bronies" Daisuke Motozaki & ? ***

Last November Daisuke Motozaki was the victim of a surprise attack by Jumbo, the newest addition to Deuce Deuce Bigelow's dastardly Slaughterhouse stable. It was just the latest chapter to the King of Bronies/Deuce rivalry that began at the previous year's AngleMania. One that has seen the use of a table on many occasions following a remark made by Deuce about Dice-M being someone seated at the kiddie table rather than the big boy table like him. A huge slap to the face indeed. 

But it was Dice-M's turn to surprise and he did just that bringing in longtime partner FAQU to team with him for this tag tables match. Faqu's first match back since sustaining an injury during a BUSTLE event in Japan where he was defeated by Deuce for the promotions TUFF Title. 

COACH
AAH! I thought Faqu was supposed to be on the shelf for a few more months. Did Peyton Manning's wife receive packages for him too?

Once the match got underway it was a wild one throughout. Hoss fights, hard strikes and turning off the lights for Deuce after he attempted to dip Dice-M in the Deep Fryer off the middle rope through a table inside! 

RENEE
Oh no!

Instead the King of Bronies fought his way out of Deuce's tight grip and tried to deliver a top rope Frankensteiner that would've sent Deuce through the table for the win, but Deuce countered with a powerbomb...

COACH
Oh yes!

... that Dice-M countered with a series of elbows/forearms to break free, landing on his feet and then nailing Deuce with the Rainbow Dash Mash which knocked the big man off the top and through a table positioned outside earlier during the match!

Winners: Daisuke Motozaki & Faqu.

After the match Dice-M grabbed a chair and took a seat at the table still inside.

"YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

RENEE
Whose sitting at the big boy table now? The King of Bronies! 

His celebration was short-lived, as Jumbo attacked him from behind!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Fortunately Faqu was quick to aid his partner who struck Jumbo with a Rainbow Dash Mash. Jumbo fell across the table and a lightbulb popped over Dice's head.

FAQU
:huh: 

He pointed to the top, prompting a the Samoan Wrecking Ball to crack a grin and deliver a BIG SLASH OFF THE TOP THROUGH THE TABLE!!!

"YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

The two longtime partners celebrated after the match, joined eventually by The Party Brigade and Amberlyn with her tiny dog that Faqu eyed the entire time, his mouth watering. 

AMBERLYN
:o 

COMMERCIAL
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***TMW Finals: Conan “Coco” Chanel W/Maya Vs Gory Dragan W/BPT and The Freakazoids***

BPT
All you! All you! This is all you!

Boosted by his mentor's support, Gory took the early fight to Conan, nailing him with chops and punches. Withering him those blows, he advanced to suplexes and a few lucha inspired flips.

MAYA
Why can't my guy do stuff like that?

BPT
Because you're guy isn't a man and my guy is a man and more than a man he's the Mind Freakazoid which makes him more than you're your guy who isn't a man.

BUSTY
You said it.

MAYA
And we wish you hadn't.

Conan tried for a Hypnotic Poison but Gory slipped out and hit a superman pose, and then hit a dropsault to knock Conan out the ring

MAYA
You're doing awful.

COCO
Stop talking.

MAYA
Do you have any fetishes? Think of Gory as an Isis dude who wants to outlaw it and fatwa your penis.

COCO
Stop talking.

Conan entered the ring and traded blows with Gory. Then he upstaged him with a side swipe power bomb into a moonsault for two. When Gory rolled to his feet he tried to hit his mentor volcanic eruption but couldn't lift Coco.

GORY
Did you gain 80 pounds? 90? 93?

COCO
Don't be stupid. The only thing I've gained is disdain for you.

GORY
I get that a lot. Being a murderer and all.

Gory and Coco went at in the corner resulting in a superplex by Coco, but Gory still kicked out. Conan hounded him but wound up eating a stun gun! From there, Gory tried a Swanton. Conan then went right for his submission high angle Boston Crab!

RENEE
Very Irresistible!

But Gory made the ropes to avoid defeat! He got up and traded forearms and punches and then stunned Conan with a straight jacket DDT!

RENEE
Unpleasantville!

BPT
He's done! Roast this punk!

Gory nodded and went for his unprettier into a bulldog finisher.

MAYA
Gory just said the n word!

GORY
No I did not!

MAYA
Boo him!

“BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!

All this distraction allowed Coco to block it and trip him up! And then he unleashed a torrent of curb stomps.

RENEE
Black Opium!

OHLALA
I can't watch!

And got Conan the win!

Winner: Conan Chanel, via pinfall

RENEE
There he is, ladies and gentlemen, the winner of TMW: Revolution season one! Coco Chanel!

COACH
Pete got robbed.

RENEE
Ewww, don't mention him.

Post match Teddy Buckworth and Tony Brannigan were on hand to present their cousin with his oversized check  for winning and offered some kind words.

BUCKWORTH
Well done, cousin.

BRANNIGAN
I'll say. You've made the family proud!

MAYA
Can't spend congrats but we can spend that quarter mill. Strip club!

BUCKWORTH
You'll receive no argument from me on that suggestion.

ANGLE XV MANIA
 
Lincoln Financial Field - Philadelphia, PA
 
April 3, 2016
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OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~!: Recent edition of HeldDOWN~! -- OAOAST tag champions CAE incite anarchy amongst Anderson Cup participants; experience wrath of Hood Again.

*** OAOAST Tag Title: Hood Again w/ Uncle Moe vs. Christ Air Express © *** 

Defeated for the titles by the CAE at the Halloween Spectacular, the former champs finally got their hands on the identical twins in a legitimate contest; no BS attached like their HeldDOWN~! "bout" soon thereafter. 

RENEE
Not only are Moses and Kawhi after the tag titles, they have The Warthog and Heavy D of Slaughterhouse in their crosshairs as well. 

MEL removed his pig mask and blew a WHISTLE in Moses' face, daring him to strike. 

TWEET *

MEL
Hit me.

TWEET *

MEL
C'mon! Hit me!

TWE-- OOF! *

MEL either got his wish or had his bluff called when Moses finally struck. Kawhi dished out some pain as well, rocking MARV with a series of roundhouses. The guys then stripped the suits off the CAE and choked them with it! 

UNCLE MOE
Wax that ass!

Underhanded tactics would shift control of the match to the CAE until a late tag to Kawhi turned things back around in Hood Again's favor. It was at this point all hell broke loose as HEAVY D and THE WARTHOG stormed ringside following a ref bump to ambush Moses and Uncle Moe, putting them both thru the MEAT GRINDER!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

COACH
Looks like Moe's the one who got waxed!

An absolutely incensed Kawhi soared over the top rope onto his Slaughterhouse foes. After extracting a small measure of revenge, Kawhi would step thru the ropes and immediately be taken down with a Cutter!

COACH
We're gonna have new champions!

RENEE
Not like this!

MEL would violently shove the ref back in the ring and count along...

ONE!

TWO!

THR-- NO! KICKOUT!!!

"YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

MEL
:o

MARV
:huh: 

Outside, Heavy D and Warthog regained their bearings. Inside, MEL tagged in and along with MARV delivered a double Cutter to Kawhi dubbed VIRTUE OF IGNORANCE!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!!

RENEE
Damnit!

The CAE received their titles only to shove the ref outside. Out in the aisle, Heavy D and Warthog take pride in their role in the match.

Winners: CAE, via pinfall. 

ANGLEPALOOZA

January 31, 2016

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***Bohemoth Vs Eggther***


RENEE
Finally these two are facing each other one on one and I am stoked and so is the OAOAST Galaxy.

COACH
Big test for Eggther, the BUSTLE Junior Heavyweight Champ, and a big risk to Bo's ego.

Bo lunged for Eggther not once but twice and missed both his grabs.

BOHEMOTH
Stand still!

Bohemoth through a stiff lariat that put serious injury upon the air, not Eggther though as he rolled out the way.

BOHEMOTH
(to referee Nick Patrick)
Make him stand still!

Eggther didn't stand still and come off the top rope with a springboard bulldog. From there he worked over Bohemoth with a headlock, frustrating The Beast.

COACH
An angry Bohemoth is a dangerous Bohemoth.

RENEE
Probably a reckless one, and you can't be reckless against Eggther.

Bohemoth muscled Eggther off him and shoved him into the ropes, only to get hit by Eggther's running superkick finisher!

“YYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA!”

RENEE
Bride Price!

But the blow launched Bohemoth over the ropes and out of the ring where he landed in an oversized splat.

COACH
Take the count out win, Egg, it don't get much easier than that.

Eggther wanted a pin and not a simple countout win and when Bo rose at seven, Eggther launched himself at him with a suicide dive! But Bohemoth caught him and dumped him throat first against the guardrail!

“OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!”

BOHEMOTH
Count him out!

COACH
Hell yeah, Beast, you know Coach kick knowledge!

RENEE
Please don't take credit if he wins. Please don't.

Eggther fought valiantly and returned to the ring, but was blasted with a stiff lariat that hurled him back outside!

BOHEMOTH
Count him out! I want him finished!

Eggther showed incredible toughness with another climb back inside. Bohemoth, of course, wasn't pleased and proceeded to pound on Eggther. A comeback was mounted by the inhuman who blocked Bohemoth's powerbomb with a tornado DDT! When Bohemoth stood back up Eggther hit a second tornado DDT!

RENEE
That's gotta be disorienting.

Eggther made the mistake of trying for a German Suplex and got himself elbowed and beat down by Bohemoth. The Man stomped and pounded away on Eggther, trying to beat him into submission.

“LET'S GO EGGTHER! LET'S GO EGGTHER! LET'S GO EGGTHER!”

Eggther used the support of the crowd to will himself back into the fight! He surprised Bohemoth with a short arm knee lift that knocked The Beast for a loop.

“YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAA!”

RENEE
Never Ending Song!

Eggther then come off the second rope with a splash for a two count! The Beast was furious and suffering and nearly got tapped out by rear naked choke.

COACH
Damn if Bo tapped he'd never show his face again.

RENEE
A girl can dream.

Eggther went big and tried for a Bride Price but missed. Then Bohemoth went for a lariat, but he missed that. That's when Eggther connected with the Bride Price and got the win!!!

Winner: Eggther, via pinfall


Eggther celebrated with the audience, who were thrilled to see him claim this upset victory.

“EGGTHER! EGGTHER! EGGTHER!”

RENEE
Holy crap, Eggther won! He won!

COACH
Damn, that dude done beat The Man!

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*** OAOAST United States Title: Tyler Bryant w/ THE FLEX & Lorelei DeCenzo vs. Oscar Friberg © ***

Initially Oscar was joined by fellow Team SCREAM members Jo-Jo Whoa and Tanner Neptune to combat the presence of Flex and Lorelei, but Tyler pitched a fit and successfully got both removed from ringside since neither had a managerial/security license. 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

COACH
Rules are rules. Just because society hardly ever enforces them anymore doesn't mean they don't still exist. 

Before the match could get underway Tyler called for time to lean in the corner so THE FLEX could remove the shades he sports even indoors because his future's so bright. 

RENEE
What arrogance. 

COACH
I believe Tyler would tell you that's confidence. 

RENEE
You'd believe a lot of things Tyler tells you. 

The match began with Oscar schooling Tyler early, causing the self-proclaimed future of the OAOAST to bail outside to regroup. 

RENEE
Like Oscar told Tyler a few weeks ago: actions speak louder than words. Tyler did a lot of talking going into this match, but Oscar's actions have spoken loudly thus far. 

After clearing his mind outside Tyler decided to get dirty with his tactics and took control of the match, but Oscar would show the heart of a champion and fight back. Then late in the match Oscar scored with his signature Dutch Wonderland for a dramatic near fall, causing Lorelei to fan herself in relief outside.

COACH
Say what you will about Tyler, but his actions tonight prove his worth. He is franchise material. The Dutch Wonderland would've put away a lesser man but not Tyler Bryant!

With Tyler prone mid-ring Oscar looked to finish him off with his Flying Dutchman top rope legdrop only for Lorelei to climb to distract. 

RENEE
Get Lorelei down from there, ref!

Lorelei was meant to be a diversion, though. The real crime was to be committed by THE FLEX who shook the top rope wildly trying to crotch Oscar or knock him to the mat. But you can't knock a (Fri)berg off its perch! 

* waits for high-five on that terrific pun *

No? Alrighty.

Instead Oscar decks THE FLEX with a missile dropkick! 

"YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

As Oscar returned to his feet Tyler pounced on him looking to hit his 0-100 TKO... but Oscar floated over and tried to hit the Birdcall... only for Tyler to escape and shove Oscar off towards Lorelei who remained on the apron!

LORELEI
:o 

Fortunately Oscar managed to put on the brakes.

COACH
Whew.

Except Tyler shoves Oscar again and this time he collides with Lorelei...

COACH
AAH!

... who lands in the arms of THE FLEX as Tyler hits Oscar with the TKO for the 1-2-3!

Winner: Tyler Bryant, via pinfall. New champion. 

Tyler celebrated with his title following the match while a loopy Lorelei remained in the arms of Flex.

COMMERCIAL

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*** Anderson Cup, 1st Round: Phecda & Al Houd w/ Melissa Nerdly vs. Tanner Neptune & Jo-Jo Whoa ***

Next on Melissa's hit-list was Tanner Neptune and Jo-Jo Whoa by proxy. Footage of Tanner saving Samantha Cayley from Phecda and Al Houd at November Reign aired, as well as Tanner finding himself cornered by Melissa's goon not too long after on HeldDOWN~! only for Jo-Jo to even the odds. 

COACH
So Melissa? Memory of an elephant, huh?

RENEE
Beginning to see it my way, partner?

COACH
Uh, just an observation. Nothing more!

Little did Tanner and Jo-Jo know they'd receive an assist from BLAINE CAYLEY and SPENCER REIGER that would advance them into the semifinals of the 2016 Anderson Cup. Blaine catching Phecda off the ropes with a CRICKET BAT shot to the back that lead to a small package pin as Houd and Whoa tussled in the corner.

"YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Winners: Tanner Neptune & Jo-Jo Whoa, via pinfall. 

After the match Spencer tried to talk sense to Melissa only to be jumped by Houd. Then another eruption from the OAOAST Galaxy as GLOSS stormed ringside wanting a piece of Melissa who quickly hightailed it thru the crowd.

OAOAST AFTERPARTY
LIVE web show immediately following the New Year's Spectacular
Only on OAOAST.COM

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***Krista Isadora Duncan Vs Logan Mann***
Logan and Krista got into an argument right off the bat, which is totally natural. And of course it descended into fistifcuffs.

COACH
Here we go Renee!

Logan got the upper hand thanks to his WICKED left hook, and proceeded to pound on Krista.

LOGAN
I AM A GOD!

RENEE
And a man who stands to be 15 million dollars richer if he wins this match and number one contender to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title.

Krista got up and started swatting Logan in the face with her boobs!

KRISTA
My boobs are gods!

RENEE
I can't argue with that claim.

Logan rifled chops at Krista's hefty chest cannons, but they had no effect. Thus Krista was able to slap up Logan and basically make a fool of him. But when she tried for a KIDology he shoved her off, and nailed her with a dropkick to the face.

RENEE
Not that gorgeous California face!

Logan took control of the match, and started to soften up Krista's neck with a varietey of neckbreakers.

COACH
He's weakening her for the Liberation DDT.

Leezus Price made the mistake of whipping Krista into the ropes which allowed her to nail a satellite ddt on him!

“YYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

RENEE
Krista Completes Me!

Dizzied Logan pulled himself up right and faced a series of kicks from Krista. He countered with punches, but missed a wicked left hook and got his leg swept then got hit with a running knee to the face for a two count.

RENEE
Krista is exploding with offense here in San Juan!

Miss California got her big MILF booty a popping, but missed the moonsault as Logan rolled out the way. Logan then tried to seize the day with a claw hold STO known as Logan Knows Everything, but Krista rolled out his grip. The busty babe comes off the ropes and smashes a stunned Logan with a double vertical knee strike!

“YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAA!”

RENEE
Lightning On My Feet!

Krista hooked the legs and secured the victory!

Winner: Krista Isaodra Duncan, via pinfall

COACH
Logan, aww man!

RENEE
Its all over but the crying for Leezus Price. A big gamble, but no 15 million dollars from Krista's bank account and now Krista is the number one contender for the world heavyweight title. Good job, Krista!

COMMERCIAL

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***OAOAST World Title: Alix Maria Spezia W/Queen Esther Vs The XFL W/Rick Heyross***

RENEE
We already saw Krista secure a number one contendership to this world title. So all that's left, and its a big thing, is who will fly out of San Juan the champion?

COACH
Tha Puerto Rican returns from the podcast game to claim the belt!

RENEE
….I don't think so.

The match began with a lockup and The XFL working on a wristlock series.

HEYROSS
That is why he's The Young Wolf!

RENEE
Because of a wristlock?!

Alix rolled her way out the final wristlock and then took The XFL into a wrist lock of her own!

ALIX
This is why I am The Jung Dragon!

QUEEN ESTHER
Kaz Hyashi!

The XFL used his strength to power out the hold, and then tried to goad Alix into a brawl. But Alix is smart enough to avoid that, and instead brought The XFL misery with a a hurrcanrana series. The XFL does manage to come back and ground Alix with a lariat.

THE XFL
Young Wolf says its time to feast!

“BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

The champion took Alix to the wood shed, hitting her with brawling attacks then transitioning to a few suplexes of the back and belly to belly variety. Off an overhead he went for a pin, but Alix put her foot on the ropes.

HEYROSS
Its almost over!

QUEEN ESTHER
It is not over until you sing!

HEYROSS
Me?

QUEEN ESTHER
You are the fat lady are you not?

HEYROSS
No!

Coming off the top with an axe handle proved bad for the champion as Alix side stepped his attack and hit a zig zag for a close two count.

RENEE
There was only a two off the Sweetie, but momentum may be on Alix's side.

COACH
Alix got not a new buddy, his name is Mo, momentum!

RENEE
Coach, that was god awful.

San Juan got a taste of some Mexican ass shaking style as Alix hit the bootysault. Rather than go for a pin she pulled The XFL and hit a standing sliced bread number two, then hit a standing 450 splash for a two count.

COACH
Mo is a great friend!

RENEE
Please, stop.

The XFL got up and blocked Alix's superkick effort, then threw his yakuza kick to knock Alix into the ropes. But Alix suddenly come back and nailed The XFL with a yakiza kick of her own!

“YYYYEEAAAAAAAAA!”

RENEE
Through the Uprights For 3 back and forth!

COACH
Coach Mo is proud!

RENEE
I'm gonna kill you.

Alix went for the pin, only for Heyross to put The XFL's foot on the ropes.

“BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOO!”

QUEEN ESTHER
That is not the way it is done, fat lady! I hope your singing voice is better than your understanding of grappling rules.

Alix wasn't dissuaded and lined up The XFL for her sommersault neckbreaker finisher. She even got him in the early stages of the hold, but suddenly was yanked out of the ring by SILVER!

RENEE
Hold on a second, what's Silver want?!

ALIX
What's the big idea?!

SILVER
I can't let you win the world title. It would be unpalatable. A travesty even!

ALIX
Grrr, who cares what you think?

Alix doesn't bother to deal with Silver physically and instead returns to the ring. But there The XFL is waiting and attacks her another yakuza kick, but she's able to duck the attack. She tries to come Straight Out Of Compton with a springboard spear, but The XFL manages to duck the attack. Acting fast he picks her up and nails her with a devestating Long Bomb to secure the victory!

Winner: The XFL, via pinfall!

RENEE
The XFL defends the title with a major assist from Silver. And what's that nut thinking?

COACH
Who ever knows what Silver is thinking? But he's got an invite to the VIP room with The XFL tonight!

The champion thinks he's going to be able to celebrate with his world title, but KRISTA emerges to nail him with her double veritcal knee finisher!

“YYYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAA!”

RENEE
Lightning on my Feet to the champion!

COACH
Dayum~! Shots fired already!

Krista helps Alix to their feet, and together they pose with their fairy godmother.

KRISTA, ALIX, and QUEEN ESTHER
Happy New Year! 

© 2016 OAOAST Entertainment

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