Chanel #99 Posted December 8, 2015 Report Share Posted December 8, 2015 AFTER NOVEMBER REIGN Colin is being driven down the streets of his hometown by his mystery rescuer, who is shattering the speed limit. COLIN Jack....I must save my son! WOMAN That was stupid to charge in like that. COLIN I have to save Jack. WOMAN I saved him already. COLIN Who are you? WOMAN Never mind that for now. COLIN Let me out of this car. WOMAN If you want to see your son you'll stay in this automobile. Colin will not chance his sons life, certainly on no words of a stranger. He seizes hold of the steering wheel and careens the car off the road. It leaps a curb and throws itself into a light post. With no concern for the driver, Colin hurries out the car, yet when his two feet touch pavement a steel bolt pierces his skull. OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD AND 3D Renee and Coach are positioned in front of a Christmas tree! RENEE Gather around the Christmas tree, because its time for OAOAST HeldoDOWN, holiday style! I am Renee Young with me as always is the man on fire, Da Coach. COACH The fire is in my pants. RENEE I bet it is! ***Tony Tourettes and Bedrock Vs Christian Wright and TurboWolf*** RENEE So a really interesting match because Bedrock and Dem Bums are one of the few mentor/rookie pairings that get along, and Christian and TurboWolf are so opposed that it was TurboWolf fighting against Big IQ at November Reign in a losing effort. Wright realizes his brand of mentorship may not be conducive to well anything good and so extends his hand to TW. WRIGHT Shall bygones and bygones and adversaries become friends? TURBOWOLF Friends? Ain't no friends in here, man, or anywhere. WRIGHT A truly lamentable viewpoint. TURBOWOLF You watch my back, and I'll watch yours, but that's as far it goes with us. Bedrock wanted to cut a promo but Turbowolf wasn't going to let that happen and smashed him with a big boot. RENEE Awww that was mean. COACH He saved us from twenty minutes of nonsense. Bedrock got up and started throwing bombs, but Turbowolf took these in stride and brought down Bedrock with an armbar. WRIGHT Well done, a good show of technical spirit. Tony wasn't of that opinion and run and to drop his butt on Turbowolf's head. While TW groused about that, Tony got the tag. He started to wish he hadn't made the tag when TW beat him into enemy territory. TONY Holy shit I retire! I retire! RENEE I think a new low has been reached. COACH If you look real close you can see Tony's shit stain. RENEE Another new low has been reached. Wright came with a frog splash that earned a two count. He then tried wallop Tony with a superkick, but Tourettes dove out the way and made a tag to Bedrock. BEDROCK WWOOOOGGGGA! "YYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!" RENEE Coach, hook me up with a translation? COACH I wanna see Renee's tits. RENEE He already has for your information. COACH Bedrock may not have the skill or intelligence of Wright, but he did have overpowering strength and looked impressive against the OAOAST Hall-Of-Famer to be. But that was for a short bit as Wright used a Wright Off to shut down his offense. The Don of Amor then played to the ladies as he worked over Bedrock's leg. RENEE Christian is the only guy who can make submission wrestling sexy. But then again, what can't he make look sexy? Bedrock staged a comeback against Wright, and even managed to the second rope to hit a shoulder block. But he knocked Wright so far back that TurboWolf was able to reach in for a tag. The werewolf withstood the blows of Bedrock, and returned strikes in kind. In fact he hit Bedrock with a blustering superman punch to knock him out completely and earn a stoppage. Winner: TurboWolf and Christian Wright RENEE TW calls that punch 10,000 Fists and I bet its like getting hit by ten thousand fists COACH No doubt. How often do you see a stoppage by knockout? RENEE Never ever. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2015 Can't Stop ItCan't Stop It The fans are forceful in their jeers as The All XFL Team, lead by the world champion himself makes their unwelcome appearance into the arena. COACH The Young Wolf emerges! Blessed be! RENEE Wow, get a hold of yourself, dude. COACH This is the world champion, though. The man who continues to defy the odds. Black excellence! Champion and allies enter the ring with The Young Wolf putting himself at the forefront with Rhaenys of course glued to him. THE XFL Happy holidays! “BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!” THE XFL Y'all gonna boo me for wishing you a happy holiday?! Y'all gonna get aggy over some well wishes? “X-F-FAIL! X-F-FAIL! X-F-FAIL!” ALYSANNE I'm glad you wished me a happy holiday. RHAENYS No one cares about you THE XFL I gotta say, I am sorry for what happened to Colin and his kid. That truly sucks. ALYSANNE That's such a nice thing to say! THE XFL It is, Alysanne. And you know what else? This I really mean from the bottom of my heart, if Colin ever wants a title shot, all he has to do....is get to the back of the line with the rest of ya'll broke chumps! ALYSANNE “BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” THE XFL Man, fuck all ya'll for life. I ain't never needed you. Never needed one of you. When I was starring in high school setting Florida state records y'all weren't there was you? When times was tough and I had to rehab my knee where were you? Now y'all wanna speak on The Young Wollf? Bitch, you wasn't with me shooting in the gym. MOSS And they aren't in church either. RHAENYS Never mind that. These idiots don't deserve to be by your side, Xavier, only a select few do. ALYSANNE But the more the merrier! RHAENYS No actually the exact opposite. THE XFL Ain't no room left on this bandwagon. Train is full, better hop you on Sonic jr bandwagon stay the fuck away from mine. I got my world title back. My world title. And how many of ya'll I need to do it? None! Because I was born this way I got lightning running thru my veins Ain't nobody gonna stop this train So hop on board, or get out the way Because I was born this way I got lightning running thru my veins Ain't nobody gonna stop this train You can't stop us, we can't be stopped THE XFL Hold up! The fans are wild in the stands as Jock Mulligan storms from backstage! RENEE Mister Dick returns to the OAOAST! COACH Still with an eye patch. RENEE But ready to fight! But the problem is he carries with him a torrent of security guards! All of whom converge upon him to stop him from reaching the ring. HEYROSS How nice of you to join us, Mister Mulligan. Have you come to congratulate my client on having won a world title you haven't won since 2009? Surely you can't be here for a match, because that would be impossible given your current state of affairs with you missing sight in one eye. RHAENYS Poor baby isn't medically cleared yet. THE XFL Naw don't be laughing at my boy Jock Mulligan. You never made pro like I did but I got respect for you warming the bench at A&M so from one playa to another I'm gonna make you my special front row guest at my title defense at New Years Spectacular against Snot. ALYSANNE What a nice treat! RENEE She's pretty naive. And what's this about fighting Snot? MISTER DICK Fuck you, asshole! MISTER DICK Fuck me? Fuck the Young Wolf? Nah motherfuck you! Jock has heard too much and makes a lunge for the ring, barely restrained by the panicking officials. HEYROSS Get a this malcontent out of our sight, before I report your incompetence to Sophie! You know I'm bringing bombastic I'm feeling fucking fantastic Turn up the music yeah blast it You know I'm playing like, no more Mr. Nice GuyYou know I'm bringing bombastic I'm feeling fucking fantastic Turn up the music yeah blast it You know I'm playing like, no more Mr. Nice Guy I'm coming for you But the situation escalates in aggression and zaniness as Alix Maria Spezia and her fairy god mother, Queen Esther merrily skip to ringside and come to a stop next to Mister Dick and the guards. ALIX Good mongrel! QUEEN ESTHER Ah, Uncle Mongrel, true master of the lute and a brilliant fencer despite the lack of hands and fingers and such. ALIX I just heard the way you treated my big dawg pitbull Baron and I'm not about to stand for it. Or even sit for it. Or lie down. Or impregnate myself for it. Because this is Baron Windels, and he's pretty awesome. MISTER DICK Woman, you know damn good and well I'm Jock. ALIX Ohhhh crap. This makes it a lot less cool. You're giving off a pretty crazy huge ominous aura, like the kind you pay an exorcist a baby to get rid of. QUEEN ESTHER Preferably a bastard. ALIX So, I'm gonna have to improvise with Baron having possessed Mister Dick's body, which explains why Jock looks like his weiner is smaller. MISTER DICK My what is smaller? Hell no it ain't. ALIX Sooooooooo X-F-Gail, Gail as in woman not Gale as in Hunger Games hunk who I fills my fingering fantasies. Yes you, you totally gipped me at November Reign, and I demand a refund! RHAENYS Get it through your head, there's no...wait a minute, refund? You got paid to work, you didn't pay to work! ALIX Ahhhhhhhhh its twenty five year old Krista and she's sided with Satan! Noooooooooooooo! THE XFL I swear to god I'ma lose my shit on all ya'll mu'fuckas in a minute if someone don't make some god damn sense. ALIX I was making sense before turncoat time warp Krista flapped her yams! If you won't give me the twenty five dollars I paid Josh Matthews and the hand job I gave Tony Tourettes back to work the match then you owe me a world title match. And I'll take it at November Reign, no that's already happened. I'll take it at New Years Spectacular, and I want Mister Dick possessed by Baron at my side not yours! “YYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAA!” THE XFL Hhahaha. Yeah, okay. Okay, sure, we can get it done like that. I'll put the beats on you like my name was Greg Hardy. And don't think you got an advantage with Mulligan in your corner, this dude is a half blind fool that's gonna fuck you over in the end just to get at me. Don't believe me, just watch. Mister Dick isn't eager for the fight to begin now, and has to be talked down by Alix, Esther and the security guards, lest he injure his eye again. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT WOMEN'S TITLE NUMBER ONE CONTENDERBATTLE ROYAL! COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2015 OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~!: The chaos during the Blaine/Sammi-Spencer/Gloss match at November Reign. *** Melissa Nerdly w/ Phecda & Al Houd vs. Ms. Vegas *** Brightly attired, OAOAST newcomer Ms. Vegas wowed the audience with her showgirl routine, impressing even Melissa who, as Coach pointed out on commentary, was in a extra cheery mood. RENEE Gee. I wonder why. COACH What are you implying? RENEE I don't think it's a coincidence Melissa has her goons ringside. After what they did at November Reign, she knows a showdown with Gloss, Spencer, Blaine and Sammi is inevitable. So she has boys out here for protection. During the match Ms. Vegas found herself crawling towards the ropes where Phecda and Al Houd stood, only to be dragged back mid-ring by Melissa and slammed face-first into the canvas... MELISSA He belongs to me! ... again... MELISSA Thought I'd just let it go? ... and again. MELISSA Never! Melissa slammed Ms. Vegas and then came off the top with a SUPERFLY SPLASH! Winner: Melissa Nerdly, via pinfall. MELISSA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2015 Backstage in Sophie's office where Feung-Shui is broken by a Christmas tree and a Menorah, Sophie is with TMW Comissioner Lisa Ann and Big Papa Thrust along with his Freakazoids and Gory Dragan, his TMW rookie. LISA ANN Gory, you put us in a sticky situation when you took the 24/7 title from Nathaniel Black. BIG PAPA THRUST You bitches are both used to sticky situations because you're filthy skanks who lack the class and pizzaz of my Freakazoids and now you're trying to use skank tactics on my Mind Freakazoid. The Mind Freakazoid is also classy, classy like Freddie Blassie. GORY That's a whole lot of class. Like the Nirvana of class. But, hey, compliment, I'll take it. Early Christmas present. If only I had a family to spend the Holidays with. I killed them, remember? SOPHIE Zut alors! You are not OAOAST roster member yet. GORY Okay, okay, that's true. That's true. But, the direct deposit into my Wells Fargo account, which is criminally small by the way- LISA ANN Please stick to your point, Gory. GORY The digital and binary code spells out OAOAST on my screen. So technically I'm part of the company. And anyway, Big Papa, do you think if The Rock came in and won the 24/7 title they'd drop technicality bombs on him? BIG PAPA THRUST Hell no! You see this is the kind of travesty that makes a grown man want to cry. But I'm not a grown man, I'm a grown monster, the ringleader of The Freak Show and I never cry and I'll never die so they way I see it you can either let my rookie keep his 24/7 title or you can get down and pay the pied piper and then get piped like I paid you! GORY Okay, then, you two have some big, big, choices to make. LISA ANN Sophie, its your show and your title. SOPHIE C'est vrai. Very well, you will remain 24/7 champion. 'ow long is up to your skill. GORY You won't regret it. Actually you probably will. But no take backs. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2015 ***Jesse Ferguson W/Dasha and Yuki Vs Agent Augeur W/Biffman*** JESSE ITS SHOWTIME~! But first the code of honor. In a nod to ROH, Jesse EXTENDED DA HAND~! BIFFMAN Very nice, very respectful. SUNSHINE YUKINO It better if money put in that hand. RENE Does she want him to be a beggar. AGENT AUGEUR Foolish. Honor will earn you nothing. Regardless, Agent Augeur took Jesse's hand....and nailed him with a lairat! “OOOOOHHHHH!” BIFFMAN Citizen Agent! Where is the respect for your self or your opponent? AGENT AUGEUR I don't respect anyone. Jesse recovered from that attack and started fighting back against Agent. The two went into a chain wrestling sequence that ended when Jesse hit a lifting inverted DDT! JESSE COMMENCE DAAAA STRRRRRRRYYYYYKKKE! DASHA Why strike be spelling with Y? COACH She can tell how speech is spelled?! Jesse went up top and tried for a moonsault that missed wildly. After that the match went downhill as Agent put on a technical show and finally put him away with a flying DDT from the middle rope! RENEE Mona Lisa Overdrive! Winner: Agent Augeur, via pinfall Post-match Biffman has learned enough about Agent to give him a wide breadth and instead offers encouragement to a recovering but pleased Jesse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2015 Backstage, Hood Again and Uncle Moe join OAOAST Hall of Famer Terry Taylor at the world famous interview lounge where the former tag champs manager asked "Whose ass you gotta suck to get a couple of muthafuckers in the ring?" Those MF'ers being Slaughterhouse's Big Boy & Warthog. According to the guys, nothing got settled at November Reign. Only more gas poured to the fire and they're ready to light them up, lumping the CAE in with them. Moe sure to note his nephews hadn't forgotten about them, especially how they bullshitted their way out of a rematch. "But not this time you ain't. 'Cause you gotta put 'em shiny gold belts on the line against my nephews at the NYS. And it damn sure ain't gonna be no Happy New Year for you sorry fucks." KAWHI If you gotta suck somebody's ass to get a crack at the likes of Big Boy and Warthog, then you probably gotta take a dick to get a shot at the gold. Not that there's anything wrong with that. UNCLE MOE Shit, reminds me of old times back in the joint. And you best believe I was the one giving the dick. ***** Backstage, Tyler Bryant, THE FLEX and Lorelei DeCenzo joined OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood at the world famous interview lounge where it was announced Tyler would challenge Oscar Friberg for the U.S. Title at the 2016 OAOAST New Year's Spectacular! Tyler gloated about his Survival match victory over Oscar at November Reign and said the current U.S. Champion will get to do the honors for him once more at the NYS, "except when you're staring up at the bright lights this time around and you hear the ref count 1-2-3, you won't go home with the U.S. Title like you did after November Reign." TYLER The star shines bright for Tyler Bryant in 2016. *** Marc Bennett vs. Oscar Friberg *** Non-title match for the reigning OAOAST U.S. Champion who came looking to make a statement, easily taking care of his opponent in dominating fashion, scoring the W with The Birdcall. Winner: Oscar Friberg, via pinfall. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2015 *** Deirdre & Pete-O vs. Maya Duncan-Blanchard & Conan "Coco" Chanel *** A little payback was on the mind of Deirdre following her poor showing at November Reign, which Maya played a role in. So the Kinslayer teamed with her Southern Immorality's cohorts TMW rookie Pete to face Maya and her TMW rookie/school "buddy" Conan Chanel. And since all of Southern Immorality was present ringside (including Lucius Soul, rocking a pimp hat... and magic wand?!), Maya brought along her sister and CO2 partner Jade Rodez-Duncan. LUCIUS COACH Wait a minute. What business does Jade have ringside? She isn't a OAOAST mentor. RENEE To keep an eye on the rest of Southern Immorality. COACH Are you implying Southern Immorality would interfere to win a match? Please! As it'd turn out, the one doing all the eye keeping was Lucius Soul. Dude was mesmerized by the junk in Jade's truck! JADE LUCIUS JADE Having attracted a man's attention, Jade hikes her skirt (showing off her granny panties) and twerks for Lucius who just about has a heart attack. COACH What the heck? The rest of Southern Immorality isn't pleased Lucius is more focused on Jade than trying to cheat to win on behalf of Pete. As the group argues, Coco gets Pete to submit with his Very Irresistible high-angle Boston Crab, upsetting Maya who wanted him to do the Triple Lindy for an even more impactful finish. COCO (sighs) I told you. That move is impossible to pull off! MAYA It worked in the movies! COCO The movies! The movies! Ugh! Winners: Maya Duncan-Blanchard & Conan "Coco" Chanel, via pinfall. After the match Deirdre stood over a fallen Pete and berated the rest of SI, asking where they found "this loser". Pete simply smiled as he looked up Deirdre's outfit and rapidly raised both eyebrows simultaneously in comedic fashion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2015 Backstage at the state of the art interview set with its many monitors and gizmos, we find Terry Taylor with Jesse Ferguson and his mentors, Dasha and Sunshine Yukino. For some reason Jesse is soaked. TAYLOR Jesse, you look a little damp. JESSE Don't mind my wetness. Its just urinal water. TAYLOR WHAT?! JESSE Don't worry, its clean. You could eat off me. DASHA Do not be doing the eating off him. JESSE If you want to try I have an oreo in my pocket. I licked off the frosting and put it back together. This is the sharing economy, Josh. YUKINO Sharing for big suckers and poor people. I neither. But he is. TAYLOR Let's move on. Jesse a tough loss out there to Agent Augeur. JESSE In my mind I won. And that's all that matters. That's why I've been married to Carrie Underwood for five years and still going strong. TAYLOR This isn't in your mind. You still have a chance to win TMW: Revolution, but you'll also have a chance to take the TMW TV Title off the current champion, Painbow, TMW: Horizon later this month. How do you feel? JESSE I'll let Dasha explain for me. DASHA The Jesse Hammer is going for television gold belt! TAYLOR Jesse Hammer? JESSE That was supposed to be Jesse Rabbit. TAYLOR That still doesn't make much sense, Jesse. JESSE But the point remains the same. The people know I'm the top dog in the TV title division, even if I'm not around. I thank Painbow for keeping it shiny and well waxed and rainbow oriented, but I, the super villain from beyond the cosmos, will take it back! NEW YEARS SPECTACULAR LIVE FROM SAN JUAN, PRNEXT YEAR! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2015 ***Tony Tourettes and Bedrock Vs Christian Wright and TurboWolf*** RENEE So a really interesting match because Bedrock and Dem Bums are one of the few mentor/rookie pairings that get along, and Christian and TurboWolf are so opposed that it was TurboWolf fighting against Big IQ at November Reign in a losing effort. Wright realizes his brand of mentorship may not be conducive to well anything good and so extends his hand to TW. WRIGHT Shall bygones and bygones and adversaries become friends? TURBOWOLF Friends? Ain't no friends in here, man, or anywhere. WRIGHT A truly lamentable viewpoint. TURBOWOLF You watch my back, and I'll watch yours, but that's as far it goes with us. Bedrock wanted to cut a promo but Turbowolf wasn't going to let that happen and smashed him with a big boot. RENEE Awww that was mean. COACH He saved us from twenty minutes of nonsense. Bedrock got up and started throwing bombs, but Turbowolf took these in stride and brought down Bedrock with an armbar. WRIGHT Well done, a good show of technical spirit. Tony wasn't of that opinion and run and to drop his butt on Turbowolf's head. While TW groused about that, Tony got the tag. He started to wish he hadn't made the tag when TW beat him into enemy territory. TONY Holy shit I retire! I retire! RENEE I think a new low has been reached. COACH If you look real close you can see Tony's shit stain. RENEE Another new low has been reached. Wright came with a frog splash that earned a two count. He then tried wallop Tony with a superkick, but Tourettes dove out the way and made a tag to Bedrock. BEDROCK WWOOOOGGGGA! "YYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!" RENEE Coach, hook me up with a translation? COACH I wanna see Renee's tits. RENEE He already has for your information. COACH Bedrock may not have the skill or intelligence of Wright, but he did have overpowering strength and looked impressive against the OAOAST Hall-Of-Famer to be. But that was for a short bit as Wright used a Wright Off to shut down his offense. The Don of Amor then played to the ladies as he worked over Bedrock's leg. RENEE Christian is the only guy who can make submission wrestling sexy. But then again, what can't he make look sexy? Bedrock staged a comeback against Wright, and even managed to the second rope to hit a shoulder block. But he knocked Wright so far back that TurboWolf was able to reach in for a tag. The werewolf withstood the blows of Bedrock, and returned strikes in kind. In fact he hit Bedrock with a blustering superman punch to knock him out completely and earn a stoppage. Winner: TurboWolf and Christian Wright RENEE TW calls that punch 10,000 Fists and I bet its like getting hit by ten thousand fists COACH No doubt. How often do you see a stoppage by knockout? RENEE Never ever. So here's the deal, the TMW: Revolution contest ends in two weeks with the top two in the power rankings fighting to be the winner at New Years Spectacualr. Here's your up to date power rankings right now! POWER RANKINGS 1.Gory Dragan 2.TurboWolf 3.Conan "Coco" Chanel 4.Agent Augeur 5.Jesse Ferguson 6.Bedrock 7.Sgt.Hot 8.Pete-O Just then The Army of One Nation appears with Judge Dudd and Sgt.Holt and arrive in an unpleasant mood. BLACKHAWK I take this as a sign. EAGLE EYE A sign indeed. BLACKHAWK A sign that the needs of America are not being met! America needs a hero, and what does the OAOAST give them? Traitors and cowards at the top of the YMW: Revolution power rankings. SGT.HOLT This isn't necessary. JUDGE DUDD But it is! After all you've done for our country it is very necessary BLACKHAWK Our rookie saved America's life. No saved America's ass, saved America's dick, saved America's vagina, because if it wasn't for him laying his life on the line for this country, we would all be in line for one giant rape from Sadam, Osama and dem boys! Think about that! "BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" EAGLE EYE If, at the end of this competition, Sgt.Holt isn't declared the winner...you tell them Sergeant. SGT.HOLT I- JUDGE DUDD This county will have to meet its day of reckoning! "BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Judge Dudd and her men stood tall with Sgt.Holt retreating to the backgroud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2015 We're in the lush and hard partying interview lounge where Sara Jean sits in a booth with Archie Stumplebottom, who sips on a glass of wine. SARA JEAN Hey, everybody, Sara Jean here with Archie Stumplebottom, and its not Valentine's Day but love is in the air. ARCHIE What do you mean? SARA JEAN I got the people the scoop on Spencer and Sammi, so what's the scoop on you and Malaysia? ARCHIE There is no scoop to speak of. SARA JEAN Are those wedding bells I hear? ARCHIE No it is the boisterious music Pierce is playing in his DJ booth. SARA JEAN No it must be the crack of the whip or the slap of the paddle. ARCHIE It may be, but that is in your own imagination. Malaysia has been very forward with me, and that's too forward for my taste. She has misjudged me and my interests in having her for a romantic partner. If she would have me for a friend, then I would be pleased as punch to learn about her culture and her life. But as far as the two of entering an intimate relationship that will not be happening. For her to think so is an invasion of my personhood. SARA JEAN Keep talking like your the dom, and there will be a whole lot of entering and invading your personhood. ARCHIE Never! COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2015 *** Handicap Match: Jumbo w/ Deuce Deuce Bigelow & CAM vs. Keyboard Warriors (Rated E for Every 1 & Kobe_Bean_MVP *** COACH Kobe Bean MVP? I'd agree. This season Kobe's been every team's MVP! RENEE No need to kick a guy while he's down. Although Jumbo was the one facing 2 men, it was really his opponents who were handicapped, which was apparent to everyone except the Keyboard Warriors. They dared mock Jumbo's girth and paid heavily. RENEE I think the Keyboard Warriors may be the ones handicapped after this one. Using his power Jumbo dominated his anonymous masked opponents, basically toying with them until dropping a XXL Splash for the W. Winner: Jumbo, via pinfall. After the match Renee interviewed Slaughterhouse. Deuce put over the newest addition to the group, Jumbo, who moo'd at the top of his lungs. Then Renee asked the question on every member of the OAOAST Galaxy's mind: What happened to Kareem the Middle Eastern Wet Dream? The answer, according to Jumbo, is that his "cuz" got called back to the Kingdom to help Barry and the allies formulate a battle plan to save humanity from evildoers. "Just like I got a call from an old friend to take care of a problem and make some coin beating people up!" Renee pointed out how many consider Slaughterhouse the real evildoers, especially their recent actions against Hood Again and Daisuke Motozaki. She linked to a pre-taped interview from Dice-M which aired on the AngleTron. DICE-M Ah, Bigelow-san -- pulled one over on me. Well played. *golf clap* But two can play that game. You and me 1 on 1 at New Year's Spectacular, tables match, yes? No. You and Jumbo vs. me and surprise partner. Let's play with fire, eh? NEIGH! Back live, a fired up Deuce agreed to the challenge. DEUCE He ain't got nobody that can stand toe to toe with either me or Jumbo. We'll crush them! JUMBO Just like Warthog and Heavy B will crush Hood Again. Ain't that right? The guys agreed, warning the former OAOAST tag champs of a serious ass-kicking if they keep barking up the wrong tree. COMING UP NEXT WOMEN'S TITLE NUMBER ONE CONTENDERBATTLE ROYALNEXT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2015 ***Women's Title Number One Contenders Battle Royal: Maggie Nerdly Vs Judge Dudd Vs Maya Duncan Blanchard Vs Annagret Wickedborn Vs Jade Rodez-Duncan Vs Malaysia Nedly Vs Holly Vs Molly Nerdly Vs Morgan Nerdly Vs Madison Nerdly Vs Deirdre Vs Gretchen Wright*** RENEE Maya and Deirdre have to pull double duty tonight. COACH Hheheh you said duty. RENEE Of all the innuendo you could have pulled you pick the poop one? Honestly, Coach! Morgan took immediate notice of Madison and gave her disapproval. MORGAN Who invited you to the party? MADISON I invited myself. MORGAN Yeah, well, don't expect me to pull your ass out of the fire. The second Morgan turned her back on biggest sister was the second she got eliminated by Madison! “OOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!” ~~~~~~~~~~ ELIMINATED MORGAN NERDLY MADISON Don't worry. I won't. MORGAN What the fuck did you just do? MALAYSIA I see a chance for some fun. And Malaysia took that chance by dumping Madison out of the ring next to Morgan! ~~~~~~~~~~ ELIMINATED MADISON NERDLY Morgan is racked by fury at the fuck up Madison created and cursed her with. RENEE Hey, Morgan, that's your big sister! She loves you! The officials surrounded Morgan creating a wall even the inhuman fireball couldn't get past. Thus she left, cursing her eldest sister in her wake. COACH I thought Madison was supposed to be the smart one. How you gonna piss off the family serial killer? Blackhawk thought he could enter the ring to aid Judge Dudd, when she didn't even need his god damn help. Well that created a huge confusion and hubbub among everyone including Blackhawk's associates. EAGLE EYE Sgt.Hot, he needs your help! SGT.HOLT I don't know what to do! EAGLE EYE That's Mexican talk! Or worse, Canadian talk. Maya took care of the situation herself by dropkicking Blackhawk in the nuts, knocking him back into Judge Dudd and propelling her over the ropes! ~~~~~~~~~~ ELIMINATED JUDGE DUDD EAGLE EYE This is a damn travesty. I can't believe what I've been forced to witness. SGT.HOLTCalm down. EAGLE EYE I can't! I can't! I'll never calm down! This isn't my America. Not anymore, not anymore, not anymore. RENEE What a bitch. Maya was on a roll and took out Molly with a picture perfect back body drop! ~~~~~~~~~~ ELIMINATED MOLLY NERDLY JADE Nice one, kid sister. ANNAGRET She's not a kid. She's a woman. JADE Wait a minute, are you telling me what to call my own sister? My beloved sister, who treasures me more than anything in this entire galaxy? ANNAGRET Psh. She treasures you the way I'd treasure a bullet to the brain. MAYA I don't have time for this crap today. Maya took care of the constant infighting for tonight by lariating both Annagret and Jade over the ropes! ~~~~~~~~~~ ELIMINATED JADE RODEZ DUNCAN ~~~~~~~~~~ ELIMINATED ANNAGRET WICKEDBORN JADE You pissed her off! ANNAGRET I pissed her off? Yeah right, get a clue, dumbass, she's so over having you as a sister. Annagret and Jade bickered all the way to the back, but at least they were out of Maya's hair. Soon, Maya had to deal with the elimination efforts of Holly, but she would successfully fight them off. Holly's partner, Malaysia, fared much worse as Gretchen lowered the ropes on her charge to eliminate her! ~~~~~~~~~~ ELIMINATED MALAYSIA NERDLY COACH Now she can spend some quality time with Archie. Deidre, who had flown under the radar, took this as her moment to get an easy elimination and dumped Gretchen over the ropes....and onto the apron. DEIRDRE Damn, damn, damn! GRETCHEN Accurately put. Gretchen seized hold of Deirdre's arm and used a semi hip toss to launch her onto the ring mats and create a world of back pain. ~~~~~~~~~~ ELIMINATED DEIRDRE Maggie and Holly thought they could double up on Maya and get her eliminated, but The Fuck Slut From Hell wasn't having any of that and fought back. Holly abandoned that effort, and left Maggie to be vertically suplexed out of the ring. ~~~~~~~~~~ ELIMINATED MAGGIE NERDLY Sadly old problems returned for Maya as Jade and Annagret came running down to ringside with pom-poms, and following them behind was Bobbi Cheesecake! RENEE Something tells me Bobbi isn't here to get a closer look at anyone but Maya. ANNAGRET I'm your cheerleading section, Maya! JADE Those are my pom-poms, I'm the cheerleading section! BOBBI You're both the moronic idiot section, and I'm the cheerleading section! MAYA GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Maya can't even properly lose her cool before Holly dumps her over the ropes! ~~~~~~~~~~ ELIMINATED MAYA DUNCAN BLANCHARD MAYA You...you....you...FUCKING RETARDS! BOBBI, JADE, ANNAGRET Bobbi and Jade and Annagret are on their knees, and not in a hot way. Rather they're begging for forgiveness from Maya and causing such a scene the officials are all about them trying to get them to leave. HOLLY (beep) pathetic. GRETCHEN You yourself should be familiar with pathetic beings, as you clearly have the manner, the voice, the style and the look of gutter trash. Now it is time I disposed of you into the sewer from which you born. HOLLY Bring it bitch. Gretchen brought it hardcore, beating Holly from pillar to post! Everytime Holly tried to throw a punch, Gretchen blocked and threw many more. Holly resorted to haymakers, which were wild misses that only got her beat further. RENEE Look at Gretchen! Go, milady, go! Gretchen wound up and unleashed a lariat from hades that knocked Holly out of the ring to seal the win for The Monarch of Posh. Or did it?! With the referees still busty with Maya et all, no one notices Holly's elimination but the crowd. And in the midst of their cheers, Holly sneaks back into the ring before any one important notices her absence. Preoccupied with celebrating her victory, Gretchen is caught unawares by Holly and tossed over the ropes! And as luck would have it one single official glances over and sees her elimination, and calls it for Holly. Winner: Holly RENEE Hey, that's a load of bunk. I mean, come on! How do six people miss one elimination? What's the deal? COACH It ain't exactly fair, but I ain't gonna be one to dispute Holly as number one contender. Are you? RENEE I'll tweet about it that's for sure. COACH The champion doesn't look she gives a damn at all. She's too busy begging Maya for forgiveness. Trust me as someone who's tried, begging anything from Maya is just gonna get you pulling pud at night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2015 Colin Maguire Jr wakes up inside a cell, plain and sterile almost as if it's never been used. He's quick to the bars but when his hands touch them he finds they've been laced with silver. Perhaps worse yet Colin hears the sound of footsteps approaching, bit by bit until he comes face to face with his captor. LEON Hello, Colin, it's high time we crossed paths FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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