Chanel #99 Posted March 8, 2013 Report Share Posted March 8, 2013 BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!B-O-O-M~! Through the smoke cuts a quartet of spotlights that scan the crowd in -- *looks at graphic* -- hey, Boston, Massachusetts! We SWOOP~! over the crowd and head over to Sofa Central. COLE We are just 72 hours away from the first OAOAST pay-per-view spectacular of 2007, Anglepalooza! Good evening everyone, Michael Cole here with you again along with the Coach as we are ready to begin the Road to AngleMania in Providence on Sunday night. Tonight, we will reveal some of the names that have been signed for the 30-man over the top rope Lethal Rumble, as well as..... Suddenly the attention of the crowd turns to a scrawny man in a grey hooded sweatshirt as he walks down the aisle. COACH What the....? The camera gets a shot of him and we see that the sweatshirt reads "New England Patriots" and that he has a clipboard tucked under his arm and is wearing a headset like most football coaches wear around his neck. He walks up the ring steps and steps through the ropes, grabbing a microphone from Michael Buffer. He nervously stands in the middle of the ring and looks around at the crowd as some begin to boo as they realize who this man is (or is supposed to be). MAN H-h-hi. My name is Josh McDaniels.....and I-I-I'm the offensive coordinator for YOUR three time Super Bowl champion New England Patriots! "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" "JOSH" Ok....so I wasn't the coordinator for any of those, but I SWEAR that Charlie listened to me every time I had an idea! I-I just wanted to come out here, in front of you all, and try to explain why, after we had such a good first half running the ball against the worst rush team in the league....that we only rushed the ball five times in the second half. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" "JOSH" I said I can explain that! See....when I was walking back to the locker room after the first half, nature called and it couldn't wait until I got all the way to the locker room. There was a bathroom right there where I ran into this gentlemen in a Peyton Manning......"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" "JOSH" Yeah, I know. Anyway, I was carrying my little clipboard here with all our plays on it and didn't want to get any...uh....fluids on it. He offered to hold it for me while I did my thing, so I gave it to him. When I came out, he was gone and my clipboard was on the floor and......well.......all the running plays were torn out of it. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" "JOSH" I'm SORRY!! I tried to remember all the plays I could, but you don't understand the pressure I was under. Fifteen points isn't THAT big of a lead! Besides, I saw that all the defensive guys were cramping up and I know that walking around is supposed to make you feel better, so I figured if we put them out there as much as possible that they would feel great! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" "JOSH" Hey, I'm not supposed to know anything about athletics. I'm a football coach! I.....On this day I see clearly Everything has come to life...."YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" COACH YO~! COLE Wait a minute!!! That's not..... COACH IT IS! Indeed, Peter Knight steps into an OAOAST arena for the first time since August. The Boston crowd goes crazy (he's a Masshole like them, remember) as Knight walks to the ring. "Josh" nervously watches him enter and take another microphone. Knight looks to the crowd and nods in appreciation. "P-K!!" "P-K!!" "P-K!!" KNIGHT Thanks. I appreciate that. "P-K!!" "P-K!!" "P-K!!" COLE Peter Knight, a Massachusetts native and a huge Patriots fan, was as upset as anyone after that game on Sunday night. COACH We almost had an AngleMania V rematch between him and Alfdogg that night! The crowd settles as Knight turns to the other man in the ring. KNIGHT Five times? A hundred and seventy-five yards a game and you run the ball FIVE DAMN TIMES?! "JOSH" As I was telling them, I needed to take a..... KNIGHT (channeling Vince McMahon) SHUT UP! "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Knight gives a cold, hard stare to "Josh", who is wishing he was near a bathroom right now. Suddenly, Knight softens a bit. KNIGHT You know....I was absolutely pissed after that game. Seeing you guys blow that big a lead to the damn Colts made me sick. I may be retired from wrestling.... "NOOOO!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" KNIGHT (To crowd) I'm sorry, but that's true. (To "Josh") I may be retired and doing road agent work, but if you were standing in front of my face that night like you are now....things wouldn't have turned out well for you. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "Josh" theatrically gulps and begins to shake in fear. KNIGHT But.....I've had a few days to calm down and I realize that it's not the end of the world. You lost, but you had the guts to come out here in front of all these fans to apologize, and I can respect that. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" KNIGHT (To crowd) Now hold on. Just hold on a second. People complain that Patriots fans aren't classy and me grabbing this guy and beating him to a pulp wouldn't exactly help that perception. So, all I'm going to do is this. Knight extends his hand. "Josh" begins breathing again, feeling a giant weight being lifted off his shoulders. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" KNIGHT Like I said, you were man enough to come out here and apologize so, on behalf of Patriots fans everywhere.....apology accepted. A jovial "Josh" eagerly takes Knight's hand and shakes it vigorously. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" COACH These people might not like it, but that's a classy move by Peter Knight. COLE No Coach, I don't think these Patriot fans like it much at all. "Josh" continues to shake Knight's hand as he begins to walk towards the ropes. He turns to step through them...... But Knight doesn't let go. COLE Huh? What's this? We cut to a shot of Knight's face......as a sinister smile begins to form. "Yeahhhhhhhh!!!" KNIGHT On the other hand......I've never really cared about what people thought of me, have I? "Josh's" eyes become as wide as saucers as Knight yanks him back toward him......and hoists him onto his shoulders! "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COLE WAIT A MINUTE!!! Knight parades around the ring, showing off to all four sides as "Josh" begs for his life. Knight stops in the middle of the ring, spins Josh off...... *WHAM* and drills him into the mat with the Knightmare!!!*CHEERGASM*~! COLE KNIGHTMARE!! KNIGHTMARE!! KNIGHTMARE!! This crowd at the Garden has come unglued! COACH LaDanian was right! None of these people have any class! "Josh" convulses on the mat as Knight grabs a mic and stands over him. KNIGHT I've got one more present for you. Something for your next coaching job. Knight reaches into the back of his pants (EW!) and pulls out a black Oakland Raiders jersey. He drapes it onto "Josh's" body as Metalingus comes over the PA. Knight thrusts his arms into the air to acknowledge the crowd. COLE Well, I'm sure that made some Patriots fans feel a little better. COACH Oh sure, aggrivated assault would make me cheery. COLE Well, we've got a lot more show to come for you. As I said, we will let you know about some of the participants of the Lethal Rumble as well as the final first round match in the 2007 Anderson Cup as the top-seeded Heavenly Rockers take on the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. All that and more coming up tonight on HeldDOWN~! We’re backstage where James Wolfenstein is getting ready for his match with the South Central Militia that’s coming up next. The Lone Wolf is focused on his shadow boxing as the door behind him opens and in walks a smiling Bill Neilson. “Hey buddy!” Bill says and puts his duffle bag down on the floor. Wolfenstein just stares at Bill for a moment, then silently returns to his warm up routine. “Oh that’s good, yeah we should get stretched out before our match” Bill says as he watches James for a moment. *SCREE* “What?” Wolfenstein says “Our match… with the South Central Militia” Bill explains in case James forgot that he was booked for a match. “You and me??” James asks, making sure he’s understanding this “Yes buddy!!” Bill says with a grin, Neilson can feel a push coming on and after being just another journeyman for about 10 years Bill is excited. “This is going to be awesome, I even got a matching outfit” Wolfenstein just stands there with a look of confusion on his face as Bill Neilson produces a set of trunks and boots that matches Wolfenstein’s – except the black and white colors are reversed. “I even thought of a team name, check this out – the Lone Wolves” “This is a mistake… a joke” Wolfenstein says hoping against hope that this actually IS a mistake. “Mistake? Oh hell no, you’ve got the Neilmeister backing you up. Oh I almost forgot, Anglesault told me to give you this” Bill says and hands Wolfenstein a piece of paper. James snatches the piece of paper out of Bill’s hand and quickly reads it, then he crumples it up and throws it away in anger. “So my choices are you… or no match?” “Hey don’t worry, I got your back Jimmy” Bill says and pads Wolfenstein on the shoulder. Wolfenstein stares at the hand on his shoulder, then at Bill Neilson. “Don’t call me Jimmy” “Alright, alright no problem. May I can’t wait – the Lone Wolves will rock the house!!” Bill says while shaking his fists excitedly. Wolfenstein doesn’t say anything, instead he punches the wall, cracking the plaster as we fade out.Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2013 COLE We're back and we're ready for our first contest of the night, so let's toss it to Michael Buffer in the ring. *DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER The following tag-team match is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Introducing first at a combined weight of 507 making their debut as a team tonight – Bill Neilson and James Wolfenstein… the LONE WOOOOOOLVES!! COACH That doesn’t even make sense Cole, Lone Wolves MICHAEL COLE Why not? COACH If you’re more than one wolf then you can’t be a lone wolf, it’s just not logical MICHAEL COLE Well as you saw earlier this team isn’t about logic but about AngleSault assigning James Wolfenstein a partner so he could take on the tag-team of the South Central Militia COACH Why didn’t he just book a handicap match? I mean he’d be better off without that Neilson dufous.”War without end No remorse No repent We don't care what it meant” Wolfenstein steps into the arena with a look of frustration and annoyance on his face, when a super fired up and smiling Bill Neilson steps into the arena right behind him it’s obvious that the rookie is NOT happy with his choice in partner.”Another day Another death Another sorrow Another breath No remorse No repent” Neilson runs up and down the aisle high fiving fans excitedly while Wolfenstein tries his best to focus on his match and stay in the zone but he keeps being distracted by Bill Neilson. About half way down the aisle James Wolfenstein has had enough and attacks Neilson without warning COACH Wow score one for teamwork MICHAEL COLE What are you doing Wolfenstein?? James throws Neilson into the guardrails and then lets loose with a series of blows to the head and the shoulder as he drives his tag-team partner to the ground. Wolfenstein finishes off by grabbing Neilson by his robe and hurling him face first against the guardrail on the other side of the aisle, knocking poor Bill out. MICHAEL COLE I don’t know what to say fans, I figured he’d at least wait until Bill fucked up somehow COACH Why wait? Get it out of the way now, I’ve always said that James turns his back to Bill and then heads to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope like nothing has happened. MICHAEL BUFFER And their opponents… "Don't Believe The Hype" by Public Enemy kicks in making it clear who’s coming out next. MICHAEL BUFFER At a combined weight of 505 pounds, hailing from South Central Los Angeles – Vincent “Whitey” Santana, Marcellus “One-Eye” Wallace – combined they are the SOUTH – CENTRAL – MILITIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! The two thugs come out side by side, talking trash to fans as they walk towards the ring, when they pass Bill Neilson who’s still on the floor Marcellus uses the opportunity to kick the poor man while he’s down. MICHAEL COLE Oh come on, kicking a man while he’s down is just wrong COACH No it’s not – it’s always better to kick a man when he’s down, that way he can’t do anything about it. The two guns for hire step through the ropes smiling as they see James Wolfenstein standing there all by himself. After a quick back and forth Marcellus Wallace steps out on the apron to let Santana start out tonight. *DING*DING*DING* To say that James Wolfenstein looks pissed off is an understatement, he has not forgotten the underhanded way that the South Central Militia attacked him two weeks ago. Vincent starts to circle his opponent while Wolfenstein just stands there, hands planted on his hips, staring at the Militia without moving a muscle as he waits for the right time to attack. KICK THEIR ASS!! KICK THEIR ASS!! KICK THEIR ASS!! At first Wolfenstein just stands there, staring at Marcellus Wallace who hit him with his enhanced forearm last week. After a couple of moments he shakes his head in disgust and raises the “one finger salute” to his opponent on the apron. That’s the opening Vincent was looking for, he races in the moment James takes his attention away from him , but it seems that it was just a ploy as Wolfenstein’s left hand swiftly and with force clips Vincent Santana on the jaw. *POW!* The blow takes Vincent totally by surprise and drops him straight on his back as James Wolfenstein scores the first blow of the match. Being quick to follow up on the surprise blow James drops to his knees and lands a barrage of gut shots to Vincent while he’s still on the ground. MICHAEL COLE Wolfenstein has his work cut out for him tonight if he’s planning on going through this entire match on his own. COACH He’ll be lucky to even survive against 2 opponents, he really needs to keep Vincent away from Marcellus and essentially turn it into a 1 on 1 match MICHAEL COLE That’s what a smart, seasoned pro would do, the question is if James will let his temper get in the way of thinking clearly. When Vincent sits up Wolfenstein quickly takes him down once more with a low sliding clothesline that James rolls through and onto his knees. With one hand holding on to Vincent’s hair Wolfenstein quickly sends a barrage of blows to the head and neck of Vincent Santana. MICHAEL COLE He’s going to make Vincent regret taking the job two weeks ago COACH Somehow I don’t think so, he may end up regretting asking for this match thought. Wolfenstein keeps his opponent grounded with a couple of more blows to the head before he gets back up to his feet. James gets in position and then aims the point of his elbow straight at Vincent’s face and drops forward. MICHAEL COLE NOTHING BUT CANVAS!! Coles yells out as Vincent manages to roll about 5 inches to the right and thus avoid the elbow to the face. Marcellus stretches his arm out as far as it can go as Vincent slowly starts to crawl over towards his corner hoping to tag out. At first Wolfenstein is focused on his hurt elbow but when he sees that Vincent is close to tagging out he tries his best to ignore the pain and grabs Vincent by his boot to stop his progress. MICHAEL COLE Wolfenstein cutting the ring off like a pro here COACH Yeah, yeah quit kissing ass here! Wolfenstein manages to stop Vincent from tagging out and drags him towards the center of the ring by the feet. Vincent flips over on his back and then kicks upwards hard striking James on the jaw with his foot. Santana gets back to his feet and scowls at Wolfenstein as he looks like he’s FED UP with the whole thing, he pokes Wolfenstein in the eyes and then strikes Wolfenstein in the face with a running high knee.. *BONK!* “Whitey” quickly fires off a couple of quick blows to the jaw that sends Wolfenstein into the ropes. When Wolfenstein staggers back out from the ropes Vincent quickly takes him down with a Thesz press and then a series of punches to the side of the head of his rookie opponent. Let’s go Wolfen-stein!! *clapclap*clap* Let’s go Wolfen-stein!! *clapclap*clap* Let’s go Wolfen-stein!! *clapclap*clap* After landing 7-8 punches in succession Vincent gets up and then looks over at Marcellus who’s calling for a tag. The crowd may not want a tag but it seems that Vincent is more willing than the crowd as he walks over towards Marcellus. But before he can get a tag in Wolfenstein manages to stop it by kicking Santana in the lower back. Wolfenstein pulls Vincent back to his feet to keep up his onslaught. Vincent hopes to catch James mid attack with a kick to the mid section but Wolfenstein shows instincts way beyond his rookie experience and manages to trap his foot in mid air. Vincent jumps a few times on one leg as he balances and tries to hit James but not being able to connect. MICHAEL COLE He’s got Santana in a very vulnerable position COACH He’s from the streets, he’s my dawg – he knows how to protect himself Santana takes advantage of his awkward position by leaping up and striking Wolfenstein on the side of the head with an Enzugiri. The kick knocks Wolfenstein down and releases Vincent Santana giving him an opening to tag out. James is very unsteady on his feet but he manages to drag himself up as Vincent crawls over to tag in Marcellus. WOLF-EN-STEIN *clapclap*clap!* Just about a foot and a half away WOLF-EN-STEIN *clapclap*clap!* Less than a foot now WOLF-EN-STEIN *clapclap*clap!* Mere inches from Marcellus’s outstretched hand MICHAEL COLE SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!! Cole yells out in excitement as Wolfenstein drives his shoulder into Vincent’s mid section lifting him into the air before he drives Santana to the canvas out of Marcellus’s reach. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! James gets to his feet with a look as ferocious as his namesake on his face knowing that he’s in full control of the match right now despite having his bell rung earlier. The rookie just stands back and allows Vincent to slowly pull himself back to his feet, he’s actually asking for Vincent to get back up as he positions himself behind his opponent. COACH This is going to hurt Wolfenstein spins Vincent around the second he’s back on his feet and just totally LEVELS Santana with a stiff lariat that drives Vincent into the ground with James on top in the perfect position for a pinfall ONE!! TWO!! THR-FOOTONTHEROPE!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! MICHAEL COLE That bastard Marcellus pulled his foot up on the rope! COACH So you claim, I think he was just getting a closer look at it, he wanted to be sure that the man didn’t hold them down by counting when Santana is in the ropes. He even makes a big production deal out of calling the referee’s attention to it so that it breaks the count before Wolfenstein can win the match. Once Marcellus is back in his corner he’s confronted by an enraged Wolfenstein who curses and yells at Marcellus for the cheap ploy. Wolfenstein gets in Marcellus’ face, cursing at him for saving Vincent from the pinfall. MICHAEL COLE Pay attention James!! After a staredown between the two men Wolfenstein turns his attention back to his opponent, unfortunately that was something he should have done earlier though as Vincent is back on his feet and leaps forward towards Marcellus with his hand outstretched. Wolfenstein catches him with a shoulder to the midsection as he’s mid air but he’s just a inch too close to Marcellus’ corner and the two manage to touch each other. COACH Wolfenstein’s in DEEP SHIT HA! MICHAEL COLE Marcellus is totally fresh while Wolfenstein has already had quite a hard fought match with Vincent COACH Yeah he made a rookie mistake and now he’s paying for it. To show that he’s not about to make another rookie mistake James backs away from Marcellus and Vincent’s corner so that they cannot execute a double team move on him in the 5 seconds they have to trade places. Instead he just stands back and watches as Marcellus steps over the top rope into the ring and rubs his hands in anticipation. COACH You think he wishes he hadn’t pissed Marcellus off now? MICHAEL COLE No – Wolfenstein doesn’t strike me as a man who regrets anything he does Marcellus approaches his opponent and goes for a collar and elbow tie up, but Wolfenstein ducks under his opponent’s massive arms and strikes Marcellus in the mid section with a knee instead. Marcellus quickly shakes the blow off and turns around to face Wolfenstein once more. Once he turns around he’s greeted with a drop kick to the chest that sends the big man backwards into the corner. MICHAEL COLE Hey Bill is back, he’s coming to join his team. Bill Neilson has finally regained his senses after being pummeled before the match by his own tag-team partner and he’s now trying to climb up on the apron despite still being a bit dazed. Neilson’s appearance at ringside distracts Wolfenstein for a moment only to be attacked by Marcellus as the big man comes blasting out of the corner going for a lariat. MICHAEL COLE Man I thought Marcellus was going to take his head off, but James spun that into a beautiful drop toe hold COACH Pure luck! Wolfenstein is quickly back on his feet and drags Marcellus up by the hair as well. Wolfenstein swiftly bounces off the ropes and leaps at Marcellus vertically to take him down with a Thez Press type of move, but the big man manages to wrap his arms around Jamess’ waist and then stagger backwards for a few steps until he’s in his own corner. COACH Oh trouble And he’s quite right as Vincent leaps up and grabs Wolfenstein by the hair and then both members of the South Central Militia drops James Wolfenstein throat first on the top rope. Santana quickly tags himself in after the double team move and pulls Wolfenstein back to his feet into a front face lock. Santana quickly whips his whole body backwards driving the top of Wolfenstein’s skull into the canvas with vicious intentions. After making sure James is down Vincnent climbs up on the second rope and leaps off for a leg drop straight across James’ chest. COACH Now we’re seeing the 2 on 1 advantage at work MICHAEL COLE He’s got a partner on the apron it’s 2 on 2 COACH HA! Yeah right. Vincent quickly reaches over and tags in Marcellus Wallace , giving them yet another chance to double team James Wolfenstein. The two men pick up Wolfenstein for the fireman’s carry and then take the rookie down with a double FU much to the displeasure of Bill Neilson on the apron. COACH If Wolfenstein tags out he may as well just admit defeat right here and now! MICHAEL COLE Come on now you’re being a little pessimistic here. COACH Realistic Cole, realistic. Wallace gets Wolfenstein trapped in the corner and starts to stomp a mudhole in the former UFC fighter and then moments later proceeds to walk it dry with a running boot to the face. After dragging Wolfenstein to his feet Marcellus locks the full Nelson on and grins. MICHAEL COLE Hey he’s stolen the Full Neilson from Bill COACH Oh for the love of god! But instead of going for a submission Marcellus demonstrates his power by hurling the 275 pound Wolfenstein to the canvas with a Full Nelson Slam, then he tags in Vincent Santana who comes over the top rope with a Slingshot Senton and then a cover ONE!! TWO!!! THRE-NEILSON BROKE UP THE COUNT!!! COACH I don’t believe it! Neilson did something right Vincent stares at the jobber in disbelief, did he just do what Vincent thought he did? A vicious grin forms on Vincent’s face as he grabs Wolfenstein by the trunks and arm and then drags him over to Bill Neilson’s corner and actually holds up James’ hand for a tag MICHAEL COLE What in the world? COACH Would you rather face Wolfenstein or Bill Neilson? MICHAEL COLE Erm… well Neilson quickly tags in, eager to show his worth he steps through the ropes right into a forearm shot from Vincent Santana MICHAEL COLE OOOOH that loaded forearm found it’s mark COACH It certainly did, this could be over right now Santana stands over the fallen Bill Neilson and grins, then he shakes a finger to indicate that they’re NOT done yet. Instead he picks up Neilson and places him on the top rope before tagging in Marcellus Wallace. Marcellus runs down the apron and climbs the ropes ready for their signature “Outline” Suplex / Splash combo. Vincent hits the suplex *BAM!!* And Marcellus hits the big splash with a sickening crunch. But despite having an almost guaranteed victory here Marcellus doesn’t go for the cover – deep down he’s a sadistic bastard after all. Wallace drags Bill to his feet, holds him up as he extends the thumb on his right hand and COACH SILVER BULLET!! The Asian Spike almost knocks Bill Neilson a full 360. Wolfenstein has gotten back on his feet and is desperately reaching for a tag, unfortunately the tag-team specialists are keeping Neilson just out of Wolfenstein’s reach. Marcellus grins as he drags Bill Neilson up by the hair, then he runs his thumb across his throat to signal a very nasty end coming up. He tags in Vincent and then JAILBREAK!! Unfortunately for the Militia the spear forearm combo drives Neilson back enough for Wolfenstein to tag himself in mid move so when Vincent goes for a cover the referee doesn’t count it. Wolfenstein steps through the ropes and comes in like a house on fire hitting Marcellus with a hard right, then one for Vincent before he lariats the big Marcellus out of the ring. James picks up Neilson and Gorilla Presses him over his head before throwing him straight at Vincent Santana like he was an inanimate object. COACH SANTANA CAUGHT HIM Santana grins as he caught Bill Neilson, but the grins is quickly wiped off his face as James Wolfenstein comes off with a spear that strikes Vincent clear in the midsection right below where he’s holding Neilson. After the spear both Neilson and Wolfenstein end up on top of Vincent Santana ONE!! TWO!!! THREE!!! *DING*DING*DING!!* Wolfenstein rises right away, not really bothering with is “partner” at all instead he turns to keep an eye on Marcellus Williams who’s picked up a chair. MICHAEL BUFFER The winners of the match THE LONE WOLVES!!! MICHAEL COLE Neilson won? COACH He didn’t exactly have a huge part in this did he now? Marcellus gets up on the apron and takes a swing at Wolfenstein but the Lone Wolf ducks under it and then lunges at Marcellus. Wallace jumps off the apron and then heads up the aisle as Mephisto and Asmodai head towards the ring MICHAEL COLE It’s another damn ambush! COACH Maybe they’re here to congratulate him, don’t be such a pessimist Cole!! Wolfenstein doesn’t seem to be in a congratulatory mood as he exits the ring and then grabs a steel chair from the front row. Mephisto is the first man he meets about half way up the aisle with a mighty *CRACK!!* The Foot Soldier goes down like a ton of bricks, something that makes Asmodai hesitate and then backpedals as Wolfenstein takes a swing at him next. Asmodai takes off running but Wolfenstein manages to catch him before the Foot Soldier can make it backstage. Wolfenstein grabs Asmodai by the throat and is about to do serious bodily harm when suddenly… *CRACK!!* COACH What’s that? MICHAEL COLE That’s…. THAT’S GIBRALTAR!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! The 7’5’’ monster Gibraltar appears as if out of nowhere and levels James Wolfenstein with a clubbing blow across the back, then he grabs the Lone Wolf by the throat and throws him against the metal poles of the HeldDOWN set not once, not twice but three times before wrapping his mighty hand around the helpless Wolfenstein’s throat. COACH Holy crap where has he been hiding all this time? Gibraltar hoists Wolfenstein up in the air like it was nothing and then drops him across his knee. After executing the choke breaker Gibraltar just stands up and puts his foot on Wolfenstein’s chest. MICHAEL COLE Oh I think I know who paid off the Foot Soliders and the Militia If you know anything about Gibraltar’s history you can probably guess it as well, and in case you can’t Saint Andrew, Gibraltar’s Manager/Handler comes out from the back with a contended grin on his face as he slips the rattled Asmodai a roll of cash. COACH Gibraltar certainly knows how to make a return Cole, he just tore apart a man who’s looked totally unstoppable so far, a man that’s undefeated MICHAEL COLE But why? COACH Oh who cares, Wolfenstein just got knocked the f*ck out! The camera gets a great close-up as Gibraltar and Saint Andrew stand above the unconscious James Wolfenstein. COLE If Gibraltar enters and brings the kind of intensity he brought tonight this Sunday into the Lethal Rumble match, the oddsmakers would have to make him a heavy favorite. COACH C'mon Cole, exactly who in their right mind would bet on wrestling? COLE Be that as it may, let's go to the back where, during tonight's show, entrants into the Lethal Rumble will be drawing their numbers for entry. Thirty men, one opportunity of a lifetime at AngleMania VI. Cut backstage, where Bill Watts stands at the tumbler. WATTS We ready to get this thing started? (to someone off-camera) All right, then. Come on in, boys! Reject walks onto the screen from the left side, and Alfdogg from the right. The two exchange looks at each other, as the crowd boos. ALF With all due respect, Mr. Watts, I only see one "boy" standing here. (looks at Reject) REJECT (laughs) Well, it's no problem. Come the Rumble, I'll make a man out of you soon enough. *crowd buzzes* WATTS OK, you two have been chosen as the first two to choose your numbers. Good luck! ALF You first. You can have your draw of any number...but it won't matter in the end. Reject picks his ball out, and opens it, taking a look at his number. He cracks a big smile. REJECT Oh, I think it does matter. ALF Well, we'll see. Meanwhile, let me show you how a man does it. Alf reaches into the tumbler and grabs a ball, then opens it and grabs the paper. ALF You ready? Reject nods, while still smiling. ALF (opens the paper) Read it, and weep! Reject nods sarcastically, as Alf turns and looks at his number. Alf's jaw drops, shocked, as the crowd cheers. REJECT (laughing) Believe me, Alf...I'm weeping inside. *crowd cheers* REJECT (slaps Alf on the back) Good luck! Alf crumbles up his number, then watches Reject leave the room. Alf starts to say something to Watts, but stops, and simply leaves the room in a huff. COLE I don't think Alf drew #30, Coach. COACH It doesn't matter. Alf won last year, so he knows what it takes. Back to the drawing room. WATTS Let's do two more before the commercial break. Gentlemen, if you please. From the left, HI-YAH Heavyweight champion Faqu enters the frame. From the right, the OAOAST's biggest rookie sensation, James Riggs (flanked as always by the lovely Staci). WATTS (spinning the tumbler) Faqu, if you will. Faqu reaches into the tumbler without taking his eyes off Riggs and pulls out a ball, popping it open with one hand and extracting the paper inside. He unfolds the sheet and takes a quick look, his expression not changing as he looks over to Watts and nods his head as Watts marks the number down. He adjusts the HI-YAH Heavyweight title belt on his shoulder and gives one last glance at Riggs before exiting. RIGGS Great chat. WATTS Mr. Riggs? RIGGS (reaching in) This is merely a formality. (Popping open his ball) No matter what number I get, my first Lethal Rumble will be....(looks at number).....uh.... Riggs slowly removes his sunglasses as Staci looks at the paper and then over to Riggs with a concerned expression. Watts looks at the number, clicking his tongue as he marks it down. RIGGS Hmm. Well, it's been done once, I can certainly do it again. Let's go. Riggs puts his sunglasses back on as he and Staci exit the frame. COLE More drawings later on tonight. We'll be back from Boston!Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2013 And now, the Anderson Cup SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~!Moracca rakes the face of Pantera, then Mariachi comes in with a clothesline, taking both himself and Pantera over the top to the floor! COLE Mariachi and Pantera out to the floor! COACH And Pantera's hurt out there! Pantera reaches down for his knee in agony, as Morocca continues to hammer on Strutter in the ring. COLE And it's Pantera and Morocco the legal men! The referee starts to count Pantera on the floor. 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! Moracca floors Strutter with a clothesline! 5!!! Moracca scoops up Strutter, who slips behind the back... 6!!! ...delivers a foot to the gut... 7!!! ...and drills Moracca with the THUNDER BAY THROTTLE~!!!111 Cover... COLE Strutter got it, but he's not the legal man! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! COLE That's it! *DING DING DING* COACH You've got to be kidding me. Strutter slowly gets up, then slides out to check on his partner. BUFFERThe winners of the match as a result of a countout, advancing to the second round...LOS DIABLOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS DE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! COACH I don't believe this! Instead of going back live to the arena, we're treated to a clip from our syndicated program. An interview conducted by Tony Schiavone with THE ENTERPRISE at the OAOAST Wrestling podium, a platinum backdrop with a shadowed figure performing the ankle lock on some poor soul smack in the center. In case you didn't believe it's a clip from OAOAST Syndicated, a graphic is superimposed on the lower left hand corner of the screen indicating so.Courtesy: OAOAST Syndicated SCHIAVONE As detailed on OAOAST.com, Team Canada's elimination from the Anderson Cup didn't just send shockwaves throughout the wrestling world but Wall Street as well. Enterprise stock plummeting as shareholders are left unsettled by the prospect of having to go through Los Diablos de Fuego in order to reach the finals, which will occur right here on this very program February 23rd, or wrap up the Anderson Cup and the automatic shot at the World tag team championship at AngleMania VI. However, before we can start thinking ahead, both Enterprise entrants will have to take care of business first. And it all begins Sunday night, January 28th at AnglePalooza, as the Beverly Hills Blonds finally take on Los Diablos de Fuego, whom they very well may meet again in the Conference Finals. MACKENZIE Say what you will about Moracca and Mariachi, and believe me, we do, but there's no denying their talent. Sure none of it is wrestling related, unlike my men, the hottest tag team in professional wrestling, but I have friends in the "business" who say their talent would turn them into international film stars. And stars they'll be seeing after Simon and Ned get done with them at AnglePalooza. SIMON Talk about luck. Team Canada had Los Diablos de Fuego beat. Go re-watch the end of that match if you have to. The black dude had Moracca pinned. SCHIAVONE The black dude? The man has a name and it's Felix Strutter. SIMON The name rings a bell but I can't... Ah, now I got it. The dude from the Odd Couple, right? SCHIAVONE No, that's Felix Unger. You don't even know the names of the men Theodore paid to eliminate Los Diablos de Fuego, do you? SIMON Don't blame me. I meet hundreds of people everyday. You can't expect me to remember all their names. And who said anything about paying off people to eliminate our competition? Who do you think we are, Microsoft? SCHIAVONE How quickly you people forget. SIMON You people?! Who's the racist now, huh? NED All this talk about possibly meeting Los Diablos de Fuego again in the Conference Finals is premature, which, by the way, is never a problem with the Beverly Hills Blonds, ladies. They got lucky. Plain and simple. A fluke win for a fluke tag team. But as the old saying goes, if you want something done right you better do it yourself. We're gonna do it all right, and in a physical fashion at AnglePalooza. Just not in the fashion Los Diablos have in their dreams. SCHIAVONE Many of great viewers have taken exception to the homophobic undertones found... NED (smiling) I know where you're going with this. So let me state for the record I'm not homophobic. I just don't like gay people. SCHIAVONE NED No, let me rephrase that! Gay luchadors. I don't like gay luchadors, or lesbians for that matter. SIMON Unless they're really hot lesbians. NED The man law of all man laws. Unless they're really hot. Like Jennifer Beals on the L Word hot. SIMON She's a manic, you know. NED Oh, you better believe it. I tapped that well for oil and hit a gusher! SCHIAVONE And these are the type of men you've choosen to align yourself with Theodore Moneymaker? THEODORE The best money can buy. And right now we're proving greed is good. The Enterprise 2 for 2 in Anderson Cup competition. Unfortunately things didn't go quite as planned with Team Canada. I'll give the Devils their due. They stood toe to toe with one of the premier tag teams in the sport, but in a match with high stakes and big money the referee should've used common sense when Ken got injured and allowed his partner to continue in his place. Had the referee shown some compassion, the Canadians win and talk of a Blonds-Diablos Anderson Cup showdown in null and void. But like promises and bones, hearts are meant to be broken. And anyone with their heart set on seeing the Blonds and Diablos in one of the Conference championships will be greatly disappointed. You can take THAT to the bank! MWUAHAHAHAHA!! Wright pats the briefcase and nods. SCHIAVONE What does he mean by that, Christian Wright? WRIGHT Nothing yourself and the world's population are not already well aware of Anthony Schiavone. The Enterprise have unlimited resources. Resources we offered to share with Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin in exchange for their #2 seeding in the Anderson Cup competition. Being the uneducated, collegiate only for their sporting prowess, simpletons that they are they declined our gentlemanly offer flat. Hmph! It's been stated by noted pheologists that there are but 3 certainties in life. Well as of today there is a fourth: never cross the Enterprise. Consider us the IRS, Moss and Benjamin, and we're coming to collect. With his trademark laugh booming from out of screen, Teddy wraps an arm around CW's shoulders. MONEYMAKER That's right. That's the kind of confidence, the kind of intensity, the kind of ruthless focus that I demand of those around me Schiavone. That's why this man right here is, as of right now, officially one of the thirty participants in the Lethal Rumble at AnglePalooza Sunday night. That's why I chose this man as The Enterprise's sole representative in that Lethal Rumble Match. We can afford, both literally and figuratively little man, to let Christian's eyes wander ever so slightly from watching Ned and Simon's back for this one night, to concentrate on outlasting those twenty-nine, nine-to-five nickel-n'-dimers who're looking to main event AngleMania. Well those men are dreamers. Christian Wright, ever since he joined up with myself, Mackenzie and The Beverly Hills Blonds... he's a succeeder. And I've got full confidence that he'll do just that this Sunday. Succeed! To win the Lethal Rumble. And go on to AngleMania, to capture the OAOAST World Championship to go with those Tag Team Titles we've already got in our sights. SCHIAVONE Well, I'm sure Christian stands a very good chance. He's probably got a very favourable number... MONEYMAKER What's that supposed to mean, little man!? SCHIAVONE You said it yourself, you've got unlimited resource... WRIGHT Be silent, for it matters not what number of entrance yours truly acquires. All that shall matter is the end result. Christian Wright, Lethal Rumble victor in 2007! Wright gives a cold, hard look into the camera as he and the rest of the Enterprise exit stage right. SCHIAVONE Let's go up to the ring for more action. "REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!" Marilyn Manson's take on "Personal Jesus" powers through the arena and for the first time in three and a half weeks it brings LANDON MADDIX to an OAOAST arena! Like so many of the company's fans, Landon is coming alone tonight, Megan-less as he steps through the sliding entrance doors with microphone in hand. Maddix signals for production to cut the music and they oblige. "DREK STONE BEAT YOU!" *clap clap clapclapclap!* "DREK STONE BEAT YOU!" *clap clap clapclapclap!* Unfortunately for him, another bout of noise replaces it though. COLE Landon Maddix making his first appearance since New Year's Spectacular, where indeed Drek Stone did pin him to retain his OAOAST World Championship in the impromptu triple threat main-event. Of course, Tony Brannigan did the damage, Drek picked the bones. Either way Landon doesn't seem to happy about being reminded about it on his 'triumphant' return. MADDIX (sarcastic) Oh, it's sure good to be back! Landon rolls his eyes, to make sure everyone gets the point. MADDIX So, your Saviour has returned! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX And not a moment too soon. The question on everybody's lips since New Year's Spectacular has been 'where is Landon'? 'Where is Landon'? I'm like the OAOAST's answer to Poochie. Only, you know, popular. And not just ironically popular. Well OAOAST fans, wonder no more. You see, over the past few weeks, I've been in strict, regimental training for both The Lethal Rumble and The Clusterfuck. Oh yeah, and I've been working for the SWF too. But mainly, strict regimental training. This year, I intend on making history. History that no man has so much as dreamt of previously. And I've trained like I've never trained in my life over these past few weeks, ready for my triumphant comeback fight! So, to build some media interest in this landmark event in professional sports, I had a good friend of mine videotape me and mix it into a neat little video package. Take a look! Landon directs everyone in Boston to the AngleTron. They have a choice whether to watch. You? Well...*WHOOSH~!* MADDIX What makes me... think... I'm gonna win... the Lethal Rumble? Cut to a shot of Landon in the January air, doubled over in exhaustion. Looking back over his shoulder, Maddix surveys the set of steps he's just scaled and smiles to camera. MADDIX Because I've got the Eye... Of The TIGER! .:CUE: "You're The Best", Joe Esposito:.Try to be bestSat at his breakfast table, Landon cracks a couple of eggs...‘Cause you’re only a man...mixing them in a glass and chugging them down...And a man’s gotta learn to take it...before suddenly turning violently illTry to believeNow at a non-descript SWF training facility, Landon performs a couple of chin-ups.Though the going gets roughMainly because there a rabid dog pacing underneath him, Landon apparantly unaware of the t-bone steak taped to his right bootThat you gotta hang tough to make itNot to mention where the dog even came fromHistory repeats itself Try and you’ll succeedFootage of Landon competing in and winning the 2005 SWF ClusterfuckNever doubt that you’re the one And you can have your dreams!Footage which Landon is studying closely. Although, why he needs the half-glasses he's sporting to do so isn't clearYou’re the best! Around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you downThe iconic image of Landon in his sweats, jogging up a set of gruelling stepsYou’re the Best! Around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you downLandon stops when he reaches what he thinks is the top. Unfortunately, as he looks up, he sees literally hundreds more steps and realises he's at the Cathedrale Notre-dame de ParisYou’re the Best! Around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-ownLuckily, Megan Skye is on hand with a megaphone, her 'encouragement' convincing Landon to keep on jogging towards the summitFight ‘til the endBack in the gym, Landon practices his shadow-boxing skills next to a punchbagCause your life will dependBefore testing out his kicks on the same punchbagOn the strength that you have inside youAnd for no real reason at all, testing his strength at the Carnival. :MALLETSHOT:Ah you gotta be proudLandon looks through the window of the gym complex, staring out at the night sky...starin’ out in the cloud...and Megan Skye, dangling the keys to the padlock she's used to lock the door tantalising towards Landon's gazeWhen the odds in the game defy youSo Landon shadowboxes some more, periodically checking his watch and the padlocked doorTry your best to win them all and one day time will tellHaving eventually been freed, Landon now interrupts another training session. Resident SWF scrubs Martin 'Big Country' Hunt and Ced Ordonez are the unlucky partieswhen you’re the one that’s standing there you’ll reach the final bell!Clips of Landon hurling both men over the top rope follow, dusting his hands successfully as they lay possibly injured outside of the ringYou’re the best! Around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you downA group of tourists are looking out off of Santa Monica Pier, admiring the view. Into shot runs Landon, grabbing one of the tourists by the head and pitching him up and over the railing, into the water below!You’re the Best! Around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you downLandon leaps around celebrating like he just won the Rumble. And some more shadow boxingYou’re the Best! Around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ho-how-ho-ownLandon's celebrations slow down though, as he sees the rest of the tourist group glaring at himINSPIRING GUITAR SOLO~!Cue the ever-popular slow-motion sequence, Landon running down Santa Monica Boulevard. Behind him, twelve angry tourists and a state patrol car. As he begins to tire, Landon ducks into a video arcade, evading the mob as they inexplicably miss him turning off and keep on runningYou’re the best! Around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you downLandon, now a little better recovered, stand playing the Royal Rumble Arcade Game (hard to find, too)You’re the Best! Around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you downAnnoyed, Landon wrenches at the joystick a little before grumpily reaching for some more quartersYou’re the Best! Around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-ownInto the arcade arrives Megan though and she resumes shouting at Landon through the megaphone, causing him to go back to his jogging from earlierFight ‘til you dropJogging!never stop can’t give upShadow boxing!Til you reach the top (FIGHT!)Cat skinning!you’re the best in town (FIGHT!)More jogging!Listen to that soundKickbag pounding! A bunch of sit-ups!A little bit of all you got Can never bring you downNeck bridges! Chin-ups! Hindu squats! MORE SHADOW-BOXING! This man is READY!You’re the best! Around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down You’re the best! Around! Nothing’s gonna ever bring you down You’re the best! Around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Back in the arena, Landon applauds as the video fades away. COACH Wow. COLE What the hell was that? He didn't even get his movie references right! COACH Who cares, I love that song! MADDIX Yes I am, Joe Esposito. Yes. I. Am. And nothing's gonna ever keep me from winning the Lethal Rumble, this Sunday night at AnglePalooza. Not nothing, not nobody. People might claim that having one eye on 29 men this Sunday and the other eye on 19 men this Wednesday is putting a little too much on my plate in one go. That's just regular routine for Paris Hilton though and she seems to be doing pretty well for herself. Landon licks his index finger, scoring 'one zinger' for himself on his imaginary scoreboard. MADDIX Lethal Rumble, Clusterfuck. SWF World Title, OAOAST World Title. Nobody has achieved either of those pairs of accolades. Nothing less than all four is going to be good enough for me. This is my chance at history. Yes, I've already won the Cluster' and the SWF World Title in my past, but achieving them all in the same year would be the historical cherry on my cake of wrestling history. Which is why I've trained those extra hours, studied those extra tapes, minimised those extra bookings. All for a one week spurt at glory and immortality! Certainly not all for nought. Smiling, Landon fiddles with the microphone a little. MADDIX Right now, everybody's talking about Zack Malibu. Everybody's talking about Survive Or Surrender. They're talking about Drek Stone in Ocean's Thirteen. They're talking about the Anderson Cup. But soon, pretty soon, the entire wrestling world is going to have something of REAL importance to concern themselves with. A REAL, true, once in a lifetime achievement. History, meaningful history. And to those twenty nine other guys in the Lethal Rumble, dreaming of seeing their name up in lights on the Skydome marquee as Number One Contender... I've got one warning to you all. You might not be right now, but one way or another, by the time AnglePalooza is in the books I guarantee you that everybody will be talking about one man and one man only. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix! Landon and microphone disappear back through the entrance doors, leaving the fans to muse over what they've just heard. COLE Well, a statement of intent from Landon Maddix. Was it me, or did that sound a little... well, ominous. COACH A little, yeah. COLE We'll see if he delivers on that promise, this Sunday night. Back to the drawing room! Watts stands at the tumbler as the new HI-YAH Tag Team Champions, Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat goof around. WATTS Gentlemen, allow me to congratulate you on your victory last week. HEAT Thanks dawg. Fly an me have been celebrating all week. FLY Das right, mang. We's honored to be the champs and all, but dis Lethal Rumble, it's every man for himself, so don't take it personally if I have to dump your ass out, dawg. HEAT (good-naturedly) Not if I get to you first, man. (Pointing to the tumbler) You wanna go first? FLY Naw, let's just grab our balls together. HEAT (laughing) Awwww, you sick, dude. Both men reach into the tumbler and pull out a ball, popping them open and pulling the paper out and unfolding it. They eye each other. HEAT I'll show you mine if you show me yours. Fly tilts his paper towards Heat, who begins laughing and pushes him. FLY What's so funny? HEAT Yo, look at this. Heat shows Fly his number and Fly joins in the laughter. FLY Man, ain't that a real interestin' thing? Watts marks down the numbers with a grin on his face as well and the tag champs walk out of frame. WATTS Heh...(lightly "raising the roof") "Mo money! Mo Money! Mo...." Watts notices the camera is still pointed at him. WATTS *Ahem* We'll be back.Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2013 Renagade hits, and the arena fills with boos as Reject makes his way out, followed by the Burrough Boys...who are all carrying violins. Reject is adorned in a pinstriped Yankees jersey. COLE Back on HeldDOWN as is Reject not endearing himself to the fans here in Boston! COACH Hey, he's just supporting his hometown Bronx Bombers! Reject walks around the ring and grabs a microphone, then steps into the ring. The Burrough Boys all grab chairs and take them into the ring. COLE And what's with the violins? COACH Maybe we're gonna get a little musical number here! COLE Now THIS I gotta see. The Burrough Boys set their chairs in each corner of the ring, as the music dies down. REJECT You know, as I came in tonight, wearing my beloved pinstripes... *crowd boos* REJECT Someone stopped me, and informed me that I shouldn't be so disrespectful. He told me that it was a slap in the face wearing these pinstripes right here, in front of Red Sox nation. So I thought about it, and I said "you know what? He's right." *crowd gives a mixed reaction, sensing something is going on.* REJECT I shouldn't be wearing this jersey here in this building. So right now, I'm going to take it off. *crowd cheers* Reject sets the mic on the mat, then turns his back to the TV camera as he unbuttons his jersey. He lets part of the jersey slip off his back...far enough to reveal a blue jersey, with "MANNING" in white letters. The crowd immediately boos their asses off. COLE Oh, for God's sake. Reject takes the jersey the rest of the way off, revealing, of course, the jersey of Peyton Manning. COACH That's AWESOME! Get 'em, Reject! COLE Why don't you SHOW SOME RESPECT for the New Englanders! REJECT Because you see, the Lethal Rumble match is coming up, and I need good mojo leading into this Sunday! Because this Sunday, I head out there with 29 other guys, for a shot at the main event at AngleMania. And those guys are gonna feel like 29 Reche Caldwells, because they'll be seeing THEIR opportunities slip RIGHT THROUGH THEIR FINGERS. *crowd boos* COLE And Reject really piling it on here! REJECT But before all that, I've decided to come out here and cheer you Bostonians up! COLE Yeah, you've done a real bang-up job so far! REJECT You see, my boys have been practicing their violin skills, and we thought we'd play you a little tune, just to ease the pain. So let's tune up the band, boys! The Burrough Boys start playing their violins (horribly, of course), then Waldo grabs the mic from Reject. WALDO They didn't even give me a pick for this thing! LUTHER You don't play it wit' a pick, stupid! Luther slaps Waldo in the back of his head, and Waldo swipes at Luther while trying to keep his hat on. As they go back to their chairs though... "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" The bad boi beatz (or something) of Dizzee Rascal interrupt the recital, as JAMIE O'HARA swaggers out with a fourty ounce of beer and a microphone in each hand. Reject folds his arms and shakes his head, while The Burrough Boys look pissed that their practise has been for nothing. O'HARA OI! "OI!" shouts back the crowd. COACH Oh God, please don't let that get over. O'HARA Listen, I don't know nothin' 'bout no Yankee Football... Some of the crowd boo, others more understanding about the cultural ignorance. O'HARA ...but wot I does know is dat this shit is straight whack yo! Confused, Reject asks his more street-wise allies what the hell was just said. O'HARA Ya'll out here, tryin'a make big boy noise wit' ya big boy toys? It ain't happenin'. It ain't goin' down like that! Alls you wankers just be pissin' everybody off. So, I suggest ya'll quit witcha New York Bitch-phony Orchesta crap before mah drunk arse steps down this aisle an' shoves them instruments where the sun don't shine! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Reject doesn't need to spend three weeks on a council estate in West London to understand what was said that time though, pointing a finger up the ramp at Jamie and warning him to watch his mouth. Jamie just takes a swig of his beer. O'HARA Just so ya'll know, that Lethal Rumble is gonna be all about the J-OH! An' ain't no so-called 'champ' gonna stop me from throwin' down and throwin' out! REJECT Hang on a minute here. First off, for the sake of soccer's ... *sniggers* ... credibility, I sure hope David Beckham was educated privately. Because if this is what public education in England produces, it's no wonder that's the most popular sport amongst your kind. O'HARA OI! "OI!" COACH Aw damn it. O'HARA Wot you sayin' about mah boi Becks? Ya'll don't know Becks, don't be 'atin'! You better shut that big arse gob o'yours before I go straight soccer 'ooligan on your Yank arses! REJECT Woah woah, calm down there, 'G'. What's your problem exactly, besides your obvious speech impediment and an addiction to crack meth. O'HARA Right now, you are mate! If you wanna come out 'ere an' wave ya dick around, actin' the 'ard nut, how's about you try it with The Birmingham Bad Boy!? How's about you put that bling 'round ya waist on the line on Sunday night? Wot!? Wot!? Reject wipes the smirk from his face. REJECT Wait... so, you're challenging me to a match at AnglePalooza? For my X-Division Title? O'HARA Yeh. Why, ain't you got no balls? "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Another smirk threatens to creep over Reject's face. But the scowl keeps it at bay. REJECT If you really want to surrender your shot in the Rumble by challenging me, who am I to say no? You're ON! O'Hara opens up his arms and encourages Reject to 'bring it on' right now, but Reject just smiles. REJECT I'll see you at AnglePalooza. And hey, if there's anything left of you, maybe I'll see you in the Rumble too. O'HARA Not if I see ya first, prick! And with that "Fix Up, Look Sharp" hits again and O'Hara leaves, chugging down some more of his 40oz. Reject looks stunned more than anything, The Burrough Boys talking amongst themselves as Reject looks down at the X-Division Title. COLE Another big match made for AnglePalooza! Jamie O'Hara versus Reject, for the OAOAST X-Division Title. Should be a dandy! COACH A dandy? We really need to find that thesaurus. COLE Speaking of dandies, it's time for the final first round match in the Anderson Cup. Let's throw it over to my right as Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura are ready for the call. We pan over from Sofa Central to Anderson Cup Central. SCHIAVONE Thank you Michael Cole. Alright folks, Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura back with you for this week's installment of the 2007 Anderson Cup. A much shorter installment than we were expected of course, because of the impromptu Sooner Bruisers/Rescue 911 clash last week. That was between number one and number eight seeds in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference and this week in the final first round match, we have the other top versus bottom seeding clash, from the Los Infernales Conference. The Heavenly Rockers, number one seeds and former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions taking on the most in-experienced team in the competition, the number eight seeds The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. VENTURA If the Homewrecking Crew can pull off the victory tonight Tony, it'd go down without question as one of the biggest upsets in Anderson Cup history. Maybe the biggest. SCHIAVONE I'd say so. We saw one match go against the seedings last week as Los Diablos De Fuego advanced from number five spot. And they await the winners of this match in the next round. VENTURA I've gotta say, on paper The Heavenly Rockers really lucked out this year. They get the rookie team in the tournament first round and now, assuming they advance tonight, they avoid the Tag Team World Cup Champions, thanks in-part to a fluke injury. SCHIAVONE So, any chance at all of the upset Jesse? VENTURA Of course. Anything can happen in this business, you know that as well as I do. How are they gonna do it? As a team, they've had one match on OAOAST TV and they knocked off NRG. So, they have the advantage of being an unknown quantity. There's tons and tons of footage on The Heavenly Rockers they could have studied, not to mention a lot of well-documented injuries. The Heavenly Rockers don't have that on Rico and Soul. SCHIAVONE Well, some encouragement for the rookies... CUE: "Heart-Shaped Box", Nirvana "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE ...but listen to THAT encouragement! What a reaction! To the roars of the Boston crowd, The Heavenly Rockers and Holly-Wood appear on the multi-colored lit stage. The fired up Synth plays to the fans as Logan and Holly share an adorable kiss. Only adorable because they're married, of course. The trio then march to the ring, Synth playing air-drums along with his team's entrance music. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a first-round match in the Los Infernales Conference of the 2007 Anderson Cup! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by HOLLY-WOOD! Hailing from Sin City... at a total combined weight of four hundred, thirty two pounds... the GREATEST Rock 'n Wrestling Band of AAAAALLLL time... THE HHHEEEEEAAAAAAVVVEEEEEEEENNLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" On opposite turnbuckles The Heavenly Rockers pose it up for the Massachu... Mas... bloody hell that's a hard word to spell, the Massachus... the Boston natives! And they lap the number one seeds up. SCHIAVONE Last week, we saw Logan and Synth thankfully coming to the rescue of Krista Isadora Duncan as she was being annihilated at the hands of The Sooner Bruisers. What irony then that should they ultimately succeed in winning this year's Anderson Cup, as it stands, it'll be The Chicks Over Dicks who's titles they'll be gunning for. The Rockers continue to pose away, as their music fades out. And even as the oh-so-cool 70s stylings of "Easy Lover" begin to play. Some of the crowd pop just because the song is so damn awesome, others preferring to boo the accompaniment to the music as the song swings into gear. "Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees" Rico de Janeiro, swaggers through the curtains first in a green Hawaiian print shirt and his gaudy collection of Mardi Gras beads around his neck. Rico stops and surveys the crowd as he strokes down his porn 'stache, sneering away and nodding his head. Behind him struts Lucius Soul, busy preening his afro, as if unaware of the fact he's just walked into an arena full of people. In the ring, The Heavenly Rockers and Holly-Wood all look on and all share a look of curious entertainment. "She's an easy lover She'll take your heart but you won't feel it She's like no other And I'm just trying to make you see" BUFFER And the opponents. Weighing in at a total combined weight of four hundred, ten pounds... the number eight seeds in the Los Infernales Conference... the team of RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... they are, THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREWii "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rico stops and points out a young female in the fourth row, but she immediately turns down his offer of Mardi Gras beads. So he's left to climb the steps without the backing of bare breasts. Lucius slides in beside Rico and continues to comb out the 'fro as the two teams square off. SCHIAVONE Jesse, I get the feeling The Heavenly Rockers are more amused than impressed with these two newcomers. VENTURA Appearances can be decieving and I think The Rockers might have been decieved already. That's the way most guys looked at me at the beginning of my career, took one look at the way I dressed and wrote me off before the bell. I get the feeling that's the same treatment Rico and Soul are getting and it never pays to underestimate your opposition. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and Rico pats his tag partner on the back, allowing him to start. On the other side it'll be Synth to start, looking curiously at "Sweet" Lucius as he continues to comb away at his 'fro. Eventually he's happy with the results and places the 'fro pick' safely in his hair, ready to lock up all of a sudden. Synth holds him up though and takes a moment to compliment the Louisianan on his hair-do. The brief exchange of hair-care tips doesn't last long though, as Synth suckers Soul into an armdrag takeover! Soul rolls right back up, into a second armdrag. And a side headlock, Synth wrenching away for a second before noticing the 'fro pick in his opponent's hair and snatching it away. VENTURA Hey! He can't take that! Confused as to why the headlock was relinquished so quickly, cautiously Soul looks up, half-expecting a cheapshot. But instead he sees The Synthmeister tending to his hair with Soul's own 'fro comb!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA Oh boy, that's just not smart. You don't mess with another man's 'fro combs. SCHIAVONE That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever oh who am I kidding it's professional wrestling nevermind. Soul's eyes bug out as Synth asks his partner for his opinion on the 'do. A thumbs up is the responce from Logan. Turning into a frantically pointing finger, warning Synth as Lucius charges him from behind. Synth gets the message and throws out a mule kick in defence, catching Lucius in the gut, allowing him to replace the 'fro comb back in Lucius' hair and re-apply the headlock. *slap!* Blind tag is made by The Heavenly Rockers, just in time too as Lucius backs Synth up into the ropes and shoots him across the ring. As Synth comes back, Lucius leapfrogs high over top and takes a moment to jaw with the fans, proving a mistake as when he turns around, Logan Mann is waiting on him. *SMACK!* WICKED LEFT JAB~! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA There's that patented left hook! Logan always lands it so quick, it's virtually impossible to see it coming and by then, it's too late anyway! SCHIAVONE This one might be over in record time! Synth exits the ring with a strut in his step, while Logan makes the pin on the seemingly KOed Soul... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Rico breathes a sigh of relief in his corner, but his partner has no such luck as Logan drags him right back to his feet. The groggy Soul throws a wild haymaker but finds nothing but thin air, leaving himself open for a boot to the gut from Logan and a Million $ Kneelift, turning Lucius inside out! With Soul facedown on the canvas, Logan then backs off the ropes and lands a big legdrop to the back of the head, throwing up a couple of peace signs to the crowd as his leg continues to pin Lucius' face to the mat! SCHIAVONE That one might have flattened the 'fro! VENTURA Don't say 'fro' again Schiavone, you can't pull it off. Back-rolling to his feet, it's all coming up Logan right now. He can afford the time to let Lucius climb back to his feet, positioning himself in between Soul and his corner to prevent any sudden burst for a tag. As he reaches his feet, Lucius is rushed and forced off the ropes again, rebounding back into the fist of Logan Mann, buried down deep in the gut. As Lucius doubles over, Logan then spots an opening, a quick twirl of the FINGER OF DEATH~! the prelude to the front facelock and the PERCUSSI... ...NO! Lucius bottoms out before the facelock can tighten, tripping Logan up with a single leg takedown and keeping a hold of the leg as he reaches one of his own long limbs out, juuuust in reach of Rico De Janeiro who tags himself in. VENTURA See, that's where the scouting advantage comes into play. Soul, as soon as he felt that facelock sink in, had the counter prepped and ready. Do The Heavenly Rockers even know what Lucius and Soul's go to moves are? Let alone have counters for them? I doubt it Tony and that could be key! Rico goes right to work as he comes into the ring, stomping away on the prone Mann as Lucius continues to hold him down. Eventually the referee's five count forces Lucius out. But by now Rico is in full flow, continuing to stomp away on Logan until all the Rockers' lead vocalist's resistance is used up. "RI - CO SUCKS!" "RI - CO SUCKS!" "RI - CO SUCKS!" "RI - CO SUCKS!" The Boston crowd waste no time in letting the Brazilian have it as he scoops Logan up and slams him, centre ring. Turning to the outside, Rico then turns his attentions to Holly-Wood and strokes down his porn 'stache as her husband lays fallen at his feet. To add injury to insult, Rico then backs to the ropes, dropping the Porno 'Stache Legdrop and stroking the facial hair down all through the count... 1... 2... Kickout! Logan instantly looks for the tag, holding his hand out in Synth's direction but unable to quite reach him as Rico drags him away by the head. An elbow to the back of the cranium finds the mark before The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew make the tag. Legal now is Lucius, as Rico drags Logan to the ropes. Double irish whip, Logan coming back to be greeted with a double elbow, knocking him back down to the canvas. As Logan lays looking at the lights trying to collect his bearings, The MGHC then set up another double team, Rico providing a leg-up for "Sweet" Lucius and assisting him with a Standing Moonsault!! SCHIAVONE Nice teamwork from the number eight seeds. Hook of the leg... 1... 2... Kickout! To his feet, Lucius measures Logan and boots him right in the side of the ear. And again. And a third time, Lucius walking over to the corner and setting his foot up on the turnbuckle as he wipes a scuff mark off his toes. VENTURA Haha! You've gotta like that Tony, two men who take pride in their sense of style at all times. SCHIAVONE I don't like it Jess, not when it's at the expense of concentrating on the match at hand. VENTURA Ah, who am I kidding. You wouldn't know style if it was sat right next to you. By the way, Jesse "The Body", I believe we've met. With a little duking and jiving, Soul awaits Logan and pops him with a quick jab. The toes are twinkling and Soul is floating like a butterly, stinging like a bee, using up all the boxing clichés he can as he lands a couple more jabs. Lucius then looks to put the finishing touches to Logan with a 360 and a big Roundhouse Kick. Logan ducks underneath though, catching Lucius from behind and jarring him with the Atomic Drop! Off the ropes now comes Logan, knocking Lucius down with a running double axehandle strike. Another running double axehandle finds the mark. And THERE'S the tag, bringing The Synthmeister back in! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Straight up top goes Synth, measuring Soul from the top and soaring down with a big Flying Clothesline! Synth is fired up and forgets all about the formalities of making a pinfall attempt, encouraging Lucius back up. SCHIAVONE The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew unable to keep Logan at bay for long and now they've got to deal with a wildfire Synth Esizer! Loading up the Allen Iverson esque arm sleeve, Synth hits the ropes and looks to lay out "Sweet" Lucius with a LARIATOOO... ...but it's more like LARIAT-NO, as Lucius does the SPLITS to avoid it! Tuck and a roll and Lucius tags in Rico now, the Tom Selleck-alike scrambling into the ring before Synth can realise what happened and hitting him on the way back with a Harley Race high knee!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" VENTURA That fire didn't last long either though. Swaggering around the ring, Rico infuriates Logan to the point that he takes a swipe at The King Of The Mardi Gras the moment he gets too near the Heavenly Rocker corner. Rico piefaces Logan in return though, luring in Mann and allowing Lucius to sneak in to put the boots to The Synth-a-nator! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE And now, behind referee Mike Chioda's back, the illegal man goes to work. VENTURA Some veteran tag team tactics from these two rookies. I gotta say, I'm impressed. SCHIAVONE You would be. Rico joins in on the boot-fest, Holly-Wood's addition to the protests doing no good at all. The two-on-one continues until finally Chioda gets control of Mr and Mrs. Mann and turns his attention back to the action. By that time, Rico has Synth up, powered up, taking his time before bringing Synth down ribs first across the knee with a simple Backbreaker. Simple, but effective. Synth writhes around, nursing his ribs, while Rico strokes down the porn 'stache yet more and makes some kissy faces in the direction of Holly-Wood. SCHIAVONE That may not be smart, Logan Mann is obviously very protective of Holly. Especially after the actions of the likes of The Sooner Bruisers towards her. VENTURA He's also a hothead when he's angry. And that's gonna lead to mistakes if you're ready for it. Pulling himself up in the corner, Synth doesn't see Rico coming and gets crushed in the corner with a knee to the gut. Rico then rears back and slugs Synth with a big right hand, earning him a warning from Chioda. Rico claims it was an open hand and despite not having an honest face, rather a sleazy face actually, the referee cuts the Brazilian some slack. Tag is made meanwhile, as Lucius Soul rushes in towards the opposite corner of the ring. With little more than a moment's pause Soul then rushes coast to coast, spinning 360 in mid-air and SQUASHING Synth in the corner with a 360 Stinger Splash!! SCHIAVONE Soul Brother Splash! Tremendous agility! Light on his feet, out of the corner jigs Soul ready to strike again. And strike again he does, spinning through the air once more, this time with the heel of his boot cracking off of Synth's skull! On top dives Lucius... 1... 2... No! Keeping on Synth, Soul clubs him over the shoulders with some forearm shots. Leaping in front, Soul then pulls Synh back up to his feet by the hair. A kick from the right side, a kick from the left and a rolling sole butt, planting the heel in the stomach. Off the ropes goes Soul now, hooking the head as he comes flying back with a Swinging DDT... ...but Synth throws Soul off! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And he then lands a knifedge chop to Soul's bare chest! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Make it two! Dropping to all fours, Synth then uses the most basic of basic tactics, the tactic you learn earliest in your life, trying to crawl like a baby through Lucius' legs and to his corner for the tag. Soul manages to block it by closing his legs on Synth though. Turning to the side, Soul then gets Synth stacked in a sunset pin... 1... 2... No! Both men roll back up and it's Soul who lands the boot first, guiding Synth by the head over to the Mardi Gras corner and bringing in Rico to take over for the team. Lucius keeps Synth in place with a facelock while Rico climbs in, the double sledge driven into the lower back of The Synthmeister and dropping him to the mat. *CLAP!* *CLAP!* *CLAP!* *CLAP!* *CLAP!* Holly-Wood gets some rhythm going in Boston Mass, in support of the Drummin' Destroyer, Synth Esizer! Not that it seems to do much good, another double sledge sending Synth slumping throat-first across the middle rope. Rico quickly drapes a knee in the back to choke Synth down further on the ring rope, until referee Mike Chioda drags him away. Rico argues the toss with the referee... ...which is all a distraction, as down the apron and on the blindside runs Lucius Soul... *SMACK!* ...DROPKICKING SYNTH IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE Again behind the referee's back! VENTURA You know, I'm a little surprised. The Heavenly Rockers have been in the OAOAST for years, they're former World Tag Team Champions and yet they're getting caught by every trick in the book. And it's The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew who are showing all the tag team continuity so far tonight. SCHIAVONE Or, in other words, The Homewrecking Crew are cheating and The Heavenly Rockers aren't. VENTURA And they're in the ascendancy. That's all that matters. As Synth slumps back away from the ropes, Soul tries to look nonchalant as possible as he lies on the apron coming his 'fro. Leaving referee Chioda to suspect but have no proof as to what happened. Rico picks Synth back up meanwhile, knowing full-well what happened. Otherwise, his next move wouldn't happen- a snapmare into a pin attempt... 1... 2... Kickout! SCHIAVONE Rico quickly grabs The Synth-a-nator by the head, sinking in an old fashioned Sleeper Hold! As he feels the move going in Synth panics and tries to scramble to his feet, but doesn't stay there long, the hold taking a quick effect and after a few seconds, he finds himself back to one knee. "LET'S GO SYNTH!" "LET'S GO SYNTH!" "LET'S GO SYNTH!" "LET'S GO SYNTH!" SCHIAVONE The crowd trying to get behind the number one seeds, they certainly don't want to see an upset here tonight. VENTURA They might not have a choice Tony. Synth's going out right here! As the arms begin to pump, the crowd get a glimmer of hope for Synth's consciousness. Synth starts to feed off of the fans and tries to climb back to his feet, Rico shaking his head 'no' either in an order to the fans or just in despair that his opponent is fighting back. Reaching his feet, Synth drives the elbow into the gut! And again! And again... and again, the fourth time finally breaking the hold! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Synth celebrates his newfound freedom by going on the run, shooting off into the ropes. Rico aims to meet him on the way back with everything, predominantly the kitchen sink, looking to bury the knee to the gut... but Synth floats through into a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Rico kicks out, blocking off the tag with a front facelock. But if that deflates the crowd, they're about to witness the wrestling equivalent of a bicycle pump. Synth shocks Rico with a quick Inverted Atomic Drop, shoves him aside and makes the Ricky Morton roll INTO THE TAG!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE There's the tag! And Logan Mann is in for The Heavenly Rockers, which can only mean bad things for The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew! Logan heads up top from the get-go, waiting for Rico to turn around and coming down from the heavens with a Flying Double Axehandle! Sensing trouble, Lucius comes in to helphis Partner In Partying and takes a running bionic elbow to put him down! A running double axehandle puts Rico down again before Logan rushes Soul, dropkicking him with enough force to send him through the middle and bottom ropes, to the arena floor with a hard *THUD!* That leaves Logan in with de Janeiro, doing as his partner did with the Inverted Atomic Drop, then wiping Rico out with a Roaring Clothesline! Cover! 1... 2... No! Still full of adrenaline, Logan heads up to the top floor again. However, as he reaches the top, something catches the attention of the corner of his eye. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE Wait... what the hell are THEY doing out here!? 'They' being THE SOONER BRUISERS, baby brother Uber and Big Frank marching down the aisle and to the ring! Logan points them out to the referee but it's obvious that The Bruisers are out here with intent and no mere referee is going to stop them. So Logan changes positions on the turnbuckles and as The Sooner Bruisers approach, he clasps the hands, diving off the top... ...and MISSING the Double Axehandle, landing on his feet, only for his knees to buckle and jar underneath him!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA OH MAN! SCHIAVONE Logan might have just blown his knee out! He landed awkwardly from a long way up, Logan is in trouble here... but Holly can't check on him, because those damn Sooners are stalking around her husband! Logan lays on the ringside pads howling in pain, clutching his left legs as The Sooners look to move in for the kill. Here come the referees and the road agents though, surrounding The Sooner Bruisers before they do anything to get physically involved in the match. The damage might have been done though, The Bruisers being moved back by sheer numbers (and Big Frank taking wild swings at anyone who gets too close without guarding their head) but Logan down and hurting. Finally Holly can get across to check on Logan, trying to calm her injured man down. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Synth has been forced to take over control of the match and does so, whipping Rico de Janeiro into a neutral corner. Synth then charges... ...but Rico gets a knee up into the face! Down to one knee sinks The Synthmeister, as a sleazy smile creeps over Rico's face. RICO WHO WANTS A MOUSTACHE RIDE!?! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA This is what won them the match with NRG... Tony, we might be about to see the big upset! SCHIAVONE Yeah, thanks to The Sooner Bruisers! Nobody in Boston Mass. apparantly, as the resounding jeers sound out. They matter not though, as Rico pulls Synth into a standing headscissors. Grabbing the waist, Rico then hauls Synth up and over his shoulders, placing the hands in the armpits and lifting him up... ...and losing him! Synth's feet find the middle rope and he manages to escape de Janeiro's clutches! Confused, Rico turns around, right into a boot to the face. Synth then sets himself on the rope a little more sturdily before reaching out and grabbing the head. Front facelock applied, The Synthmeister leaps off the ropes and brings Rico around for the Tornado DDT ride... only to get thrown off! Synth manages to land on his feet safely enough. But he doesn't gain his balance in time to move, before Lucius Soul tackles into him with the POOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCEEEEEE!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Synth gets thrown through the air from the impact of the move, Lucius leaping to his feet and hitting the pose that goes with the move. Period. VENTURA They're calling for the end! Hit record folks, history's going to be made here! Quickly, Rico retrieves Synth, knowing that they need to strike while the iron is hot. A front facelock and a vertical suplex seems innocuous enough, until Synth's legs gets caught on the way down over Lucius' shoulders. And after a countdown from 3 to 1, The MGHC look to put not just the coup de gras but the Coup de Mardi Gras on proceedings, as they hit a combined Neckbreaker/Sitout Powerbomb!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA They got him! The referee is in position as Lucius stacks Synth on his shoulders, nodding along as the pin is made... 1... Holly helps Logan up and on one leg he hops to the apron... 2... ...dragging himself in and diving... ...JUST SHORT!! 3!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA THEY DID IT!! SCHIAVONE, THEY DID IT!! THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS ARE OUT OF THE ANDERSON CUP!! Logan drops just short of breaking the fall and despairingly goes back to clutching his injured knee. Holly-Wood looks on, head in hands, mouth agape as "Easy Lover" plays over a stunned crowd. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen... your winners of the contest, advancing to the Los Infernales Conference Semi Finals... RICO DE JANEIRO and LUCIUS SOUL... THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREWii! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Just as shocked as everyone else in the arena, Lucius and Rico embrace and begin to celebrate their most unexpected of victories. Rico tries to stay cool as he strokes down the porn 'stache, Lucius preferring instead to celebrate like they just one the entire Anderson Cup, let alone the first round match. SCHIAVONE Against all the odds, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew are into the next round! Unbelievable! VENTURA One of the biggest upsets in Anderson Cup history Tony. Last year, Black T got dumped out by The Lone Star Gunslingers... but, this is right up there with that. SCHIAVONE And you can give the assist to The Sooner Bruisers. Ever since New Year's Spectacular they've been out of control and now, they've played a heavy part in the number one seeds in the Los Infernales Conference going out in the first round! VENTURA Hey, you can't blame them. They didn't get physically involved, Mann made a mistake in the heat of the moment and it cost the team the match! SCHIAVONE Come on Jesse, they got involved and distracted Logan! Lucius and Rico leave the ring and continue their early Mardi Gras festivities up the ramp, Rico inviting Holly-Wood to join the winning team. She declines though, busy checking on Logan who remains in agony in the ring. VENTURA Nevermind that Schiavone, why aren't you giving credit where it's due right now? You didn't give Rico and Soul a chance in hell of pulling the upset off tonight. Nobody did, except yours truly of course. Forget about how they did it... fact is, they did it! SCHIAVONE Well, that they did. And, to the amazement of everyone I'm sure, it'll be The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew versus Los Diablos De Fuego in the Los Infernales Conference Semi Finals! One of those two underdog teams will be in the Conference Finals, who would have put money on that when the brackets were announced? VENTURA Not me, that's for sure. SCHIAVONE Well, as we recover from this shocker, we're going to a commercial and we'll see you with more HeldDOWN~! action!Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2013 COLE Coach, before we continue I'd like to... COACH Explain why you're wearing a push-up bra? COLE No. I'd like to inform all the loyal OAOAST fans of a very exciting, once in a life time opportunity. The OAOAST has teamed up with Ebay.com and the Tibetan Freedom Organization to bring to you a very unique charity auction. With this auction you have a chance to bid on the opportunity to spend a day with the OAOAST's two most popular ladies, Alix Maria Spezia, and Krista Isadora Duncan! That's right, you could be the lucky person who gets chill with Hollywood's “It” girls, Chicks Over Dicks. All proceeds go to Tibetan Freedom Organization, and the winner will be announced live on HeldDOWN on February 15th. So, what are you waiting for? Bid today!(CLICK HERE FOR THE AUCTION!!!) COACH Man, you ugly and you stupid. The people who got the money to spend on a charity auction damn sure ain't watching no pro wrestling. Look at the audience, Cole, this ain't exactly the same clientèle frequenting Spagos and driving BMWs. Forget an auction, these morons can't even afford an OAOAST divas calendar to beat off to. Truth, Cole. Truth. Cut back to the Lethal Rumble tumbler room. Vitamin X walks into the room, where "After Hours" Felix Strutter is already at. The crowd boos. VITAMIN X All right! I'm here! Now we can get things going! X stands next to Felix. Strutter just looks at him and sneers. VX Nice to meet you too! You're Canadian, right? Shouldn't you be cutting some trees or making maple syrup instead of being here at Anglepalooza? HA! HA! STRUTTER Yeah, let's go. I got a nice, little red-haired honey waiting for some After Hour delight. VX All right, let's do this! STRUTTER (holds his hand out) Say, where is your woman, anyway? (smiles) Vitamin X steps over to get in Strutter's face, with a half-smirk. VX I hope that was a joke. WATTS Just draw the numbers, please. VX turns the tumbler around and around for a few seconds. He has a smirk on his face the entire time. VX stops turning the tumbler. VX (to Felix) Now watch this! X opens the little opening and puts his left hand inside. He pulls out a plastic ball. X opens the plastic ball, and then pulls out the piece of paper inside of it. He unfolds the piece of paper and reads it. X smiles. VX HA HA! YES! BOO-YAH~! Today is a good day for me! X turns his attention to Strutter. VX Good luck, FELIX! Heh, Felix. Seriously, THAT'S your name!? Really? I mean, I know that Canadians are ass backwards compared to Americans, but man, I didn't know you guys had such lame names too! Well, who knows, maybe you'll become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion at AngleMania VI! Just think, OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion...FELIX Strutter! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Keep dreaming, bud! See you in the Lethal Rumble Match! X slaps Felix's right shoulder. STRUTTER Yeah, I'll see you there, "Prince Vitamin". Make fun of my name, but at least my father wasn't named after a breakfast cereal. VX (In Strutter's face again) You take that back! WATTS Draw the number, Felix! Felix draws his number, and sighs. STRUTTER (deep breath) Looks like I'm in for a long night...in and out of the ring, haha! Strutter walks away as VX looks on angrily. (Back to Sofa Central) MICHAEL COLE With the Lethal Rumble coming up we’ve got 30 men all vying for a shot at the champion, whomever he might by at the granddaddy of the all AngleMania VI!! COACH For some it’s an opportunity of a lifetime, for others it’s … well it’s just not going to happen let’s be honest. MICHAEL COLE I wouldn’t know about that, anything can happen in the OAOAST COACH Yeah except that alien dork winning it, he’d probably get lost on the way to the ring. MICHAEL COLE Funny you should mention It, Terry Taylor is standing by backstage with perhaps OAOAST’s strangest wrestler We cut to the interview area backstage where Terry Taylor is standing by in front of a giant AnglePalooza 2007 logo, next to him is the alien known as “It” although right now he’s not really paying attention to neither Terry nor the camera instead he’s starring intently at the latest OAOAST release “the Rise and Rise of Mr. Warrior” TERRY TAYLOR Thank you Michael, I’m standing by with one of the 30 men… for lack of a better word, I’m standing by with It “...” It doesn’t reply, he’s busy sniffing the cover to the DVD. When he accidentally opens the case he drops it in surprise and hides behind Terry Taylor TERRY TAYLOR Erm.... AnglePalooza? Lethal Rumble?? Maybe the weird squeaks and squelches is an answer, maybe it’s a sign of him being frightened. It squats down and then slowly inches closer and closer towards the DVD, poking at it to see if it’s going to bite him TERRY TAYLOR (to himself) first CoD and now this... what did I do to deserve this? It finally gets up the courage to pick up the case, only he manages to just get the DVD and drops the case “OOOOOOOh Optical” It utters as he looks at the shiny side of the DVD, tilting it back and forth “Primitive Data Storage…. “ TERRY TAYLOR Yeah it’s a DVD, very nice Without warning IT slaps the DVD against his forehead and then starts to jitter for a moment as Terry Taylor just stands by, mouth open, no clue what the hell is going on. Then after a moment or two It of holding the DVD to it’s forehead It begins to breathe heavily, snorting as he throws the shiny disk to the side and begins to pace back and forth while doing the occasional gorilla press motion. TERRY TAYLOR It?... I’d ask you if you’re okay but I don’t know what that’d mean in your case. It breathes quickly, almost hyperventilating before he yells "Speak to me, SUUUUUUUUUUUPERMAAAAAAANIACS!!!!" *SNORT!* IT WHEN THE HEAVENS ABOVE OPENED UP AND SPAT OUT IT’S ULTIMATE WARRIOR ON THIS BALL OF MUD EVERYONE SHOOK IN HORROR OVER HIS DESTRUCTICITY AND WARRIORISM! BUT BE NOT AFRAID BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE THE WARRIORESS’NESS DEEP IN YOUR CRANIAL CAVITY YOU SHALL NOT BE HARMED BY THE PROBINGS OF MY WARRIORS *SNORT*HARK*COUGH* Terry stands there looking a little terrified as It goes into a rant worthy of Mr. Warrior himself IT IT WILL NOT WIN THIS BECAUSE IT WANTS TO, IT WILL NOT WIN THIS BECAUSE OF THE GLORY, IT WILL WIN THIS BECAUSE IT IS IT’S DESTINY TO REACH FOR THE STARS WHERE IT BELONGS LAYING TO WASTE 29 BIPEDAL COMBATTANTS WITH DESTRUCTICITY INHERIT IN IT’S PHYSICAL FRAME It walks off camera with a loud snort, then just as Terry Taylor is about to wrap up It returns IT What 'cha gonna do when ALDOSTERONE RUNS WILD ON YOU!? After the last of the rant It seems to return to his normal self, gone are the self assured posturing, the snorting, the gorilla press motions. TERRY TAYLOR Right... so fighting words from our alien visitor. We cut back to Sofa Central as It starts to examine one of the ventilator grates down by the floor. COACH & COLE COACH When you said ANYTHING can happen in the OAOAST MICHAEL COLE Yeah? COACH I believe you Cole! MICHAEL COLE Well after those words of… wisdom? From It we have more comments on the Lethal Rumble, “Mean” Gene sat down with Kenji Kawada earlier today COACH Does he even speak English?? MICHAEL COLE “Mean” Gene? Of course he does.”Earlier today” Gene and Kawada are in Kenji Kawada’s dressing room. MEAN GENE Kawada, you’ve been with the OAOAST for some months now – what do you think of it KENJI KAWADA Well Gene-San the competition here is much different than HI-YAH, it is no secret that I had a hard time connecting with fans here. MEAN GENE I think they’re just not used to the HI-YAH style, but you’ve been winning fans over match after match. KENJI KAWADA Especially my last one... which is odd MEAN GENE You mean your brutal battle with El Esperito KENJI KAWADA Hai, It was... hard for me, the style... was so different, so much blood, so much violence Kawada closes his eyes as if he’s reliving the match in his mind. MEAN GENE Based on your strong showing in that match, in fact your strong showing every time you are in the ring you’ve been entered into the Lethal Rumble, you have a chance to win a shot at the OAOAST World title. KENJI KAWADA I am grateful that AngleSault-San has given me this opportunity, I hope I can live up to the expectations of me both from HI-YAH and from my fans. Even if I do not win, I still look forward to finally proving myself against Faqu MEAN GENE The current HI-YAH champion? KENJI KAWADA Yes, it is no secret that I have been wanting that title for a long time, before it was not my time – hopefully now it will be. MEAN GENE What do you think of your chances are? KENJI KAWADA I am not fooling myself Gene-San, it will be tough, there are some talented people in there... and Faqu, but I will persevere, my Samurai Spirit will see me through this. MEAN GENE Any last words? Anything you’d like to say to your American fans?? KENJI KAWADA Yes – to all of my American fans, thank you for supporting this humble wrestler, I hope to make 2007 the year of Kawada, the year of HI-YAH MEAN GENE Thank you Kenji Kawada, let’s get back to Sofa Central. MICHAEL COLE Thank you “Mean” Gene COACH Why are you thanking him like it was live? It’s taped you dork MICHAEL COLE It’s just something you say COACH “Oh you mean like Terry Taylor is standing by backstage”?? MICHAEL COLE Only if it’s true COACH Oh it is, he’s tracked down Los Vatos We cut back to the interview area where Terry Taylor is joined by Los Vatos with El Esperito and Ramone Gutierrez in the foreground while “Big” Dave just hangs back, leaned casually against the wall as he keeps an eye on everything TERRY TAYLOR Gentlemen your thoughts on the Lethal Rumble RAMONE GUTIERREZ Hey don’t ask me, chu ask him – he in the Rumble EL ESPERITO Come on Esse I hope you’re not upset that I got in and you didn’t RAMONE GUTIERREZ Naw Holmes I asked for you to take my place in the Rumble EL ESPERITO You... you gave me your spot? RAMONE GUTIERREZ Si Vato!! Chu go in there and represent! EL ESPERITO But... but why? What are you going to do? RAMONE GUTIERREZ Chu mean besides watching your back along with Dave? Don’t you worry Holmes, I got plans for AnglePalooza EL ESPERITO Si? What sort of plans? RAMONE GUTIERREZ Let’s just say, someone owes me and I’m gonna collect Ramone gives El Esperito a knowing wink and a grin. TERRY TAYLOR Gentlemen I was about to ask you about the tension of Esperito being in the match but well… *Bom*bom*bom*bom* Los Vatos and Terry Taylor all start to look around as they hear a weird banging noise. Then noise gets louder and louder until *Bom*bom*CRESH!!* The Ventilation grate above them falls down followed by It tumbling out ass over elbow falling a good 9 feet to the ground with a *THUD!* When It looks up and sees the four men staring at him he figures they deserve some kind of explanation IT Jeffries tube integrity... Compromised. Ramone just walks off shaking his head while cursing in Spanish TERRY TAYLOR I think we need to go back to Sofa Central or something. (Back to SC) COLE ..........Riiiiiiiight.......Anywho, as we've been saying all night, we're just days away from Anglepalooza 2007, the first pay per view event of the year for the OAOAST, and what a way to kick off 2007. 30 men will enter the ring Sunday night, and only one will walk away from the Lethal Rumble with a guaranteed World Title shot at Anglemania VI! COACH True 'dat, Cole! Whoever wins heads on down the road to the big one, and is gonna hook it up with Drek Stone, or maybe even someone else by the time 'Mania rolls around! COLE The Lethal Rumble is an OAOAST tradition, but all eyes are on the Survive Or Surrender match this Sunday. Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank will be enclosed in a steel cage with no chance of interference, and no escape until one of those men gives up his career by surrendering to his rival. It was the most brutal war of 2006, and has spilled over to...hang on...what's this about now? Cole's referring to the appearance of Anglesault at ringside, and the crowd pops at the sight of the OAOAST's owner. Anglesault, looking positively dapper in his business suit, approaches Michael Buffer for the microphone, and then gets into the ring. Cutting right to the chase, Anglesault takes the mic, and let's us know what he's doing out here. ANGLESAULT Zack, for weeks now, I've tried to get you to change your mind. I've tried reasoning with you, I've even begged you, Zack. As a friend, I don't want you risking your career against that psychopath Blank. I know you want revenge. I'd like nothing more than for you to get it. These people, your fans Zack, want you to get revenge...and no one, not one person in this arena tonight wants to see you risking your career for BRUCE BLANK. I'm asking you again, Zack, and I know you can hear me back there...BACK OUT. Don't go into that cage this Sunday, Zack. Don't put your career, your LIFE, on the line! You're giving Blank just what he wants! He KNOWS you're backed into a corner now, and he's pulling your strings by attacking your pride. It's all a game to him, Zack. He's in your head, and he's making you act irrationally... Anglesault goes to continue, but pauses, as the crowd rises to their feet upon the arrival of ZACK MALIBU~!, who is heading down the aisle. COLE Here comes Zack! COACH Maybe for the last time on HeldDOWN~! too, Mikey Cole. COLE Good job, Coach. Put us on a down note now. Malibu rolls into the ring, and immediately snatches the mic from Anglesault, looking a little frustrated tonight. MALIBU What don't you understand, 'Sault? There is no way in hell I'm backing out of that match. There is no way in hell I'm not going to step into that ring, and let that cage come down over Blank and I, and settle the score once and for all. Now, I'm not saying I don't appreciate the concern of the fans, or you, or anyone else, but this is something I HAVE TO DO. Anglesault, still trying to reason with his friend, leans in towards the mic. ANGLESAULT Zack, listen... MALIBU No, YOU LISTEN! You have no idea what it's like to live with this burden. It's MY fault that The Wildcards are here, and it's going to be me who ends this whole thing. Leon Rodez is in the hospital because of ME, not you. My family...my BABY DAUGHTER...got brought into this, and that's all my fault. Candie, she had to look that monster in the eye, she was frozen in terror, and you think that I'm going to let it slide? Do you think I CAN let it slide? NO. If Survive Or Surrender is what it takes...if risking my career is what it takes, then that's MY cross to bear, and the chance that I have to take. I AM THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO END THIS, and if I can't...if I can't do it on Sunday, then maybe I am better off dead. Zack burns a hole through AS with his stare, and throws the microphone down. Anglesault tries to reason with Zack, but Zack nudges his arm away as he turns around, and simply exits the ring. The tension is thick inside the arena, and whether you call him proud or stubborn, Malibu is intent on going through with the match this coming Sunday. He heads up the aisleway, but as he's walking, a voice is heard in the arena. "Wait, Zack. Please." The voice belongs to a female, and a moment later, CANDIE steps through the curtain, greeted by an enormous pop! COLE Candie's here! Zack Malibu's girlfriend, the mother of little baby Jenna Malibu, is back on HeldDOWN~! Zack gives her a "what are you doing here" look, as he's taken off guard by the appearance of his significant other. CANDIE Zack, please. I know you think you need to do this. I know that you think that you let us down, that you let me and Jenna down, but you didn't. You don't have to do the match on Sunday, Zack. I don't want you to do the match on Sunday. Zack, now speechless, tries to argue his point, but Candie stops him. CANDIE Stop it, just stop it, okay!? I know you love this business, Zack, and it's killing me to think that you're risking your life in it, because of me and your daughter! Do you realize the position that puts me in, Zack? Do you realize how that makes me feel? I love you, and your daughter loves you. I know you love us both. So please, do not go into that match on Sunday, for all of our sakes, because win or lose, Zack, you're not going to be the same. Blank wants to hurt you, he wants to TORTURE you, and do you think I want to see him do that to you? Do you think that it's been easy on me this past year, watching you try to be the hero for everyone, and wind up bleeding, and aching? Do you think I like seeing you sore, laying in bed, when you're able to be home with me and the baby? This war doesn't have to end in the ring, Zack. It doesn't have to end with you hurting again. It's not your fault that Bruce Blank did what he did. It's not your fault that Leon got hurt. The people who commited those acts...Bruce, Todd Cortez...THEY need to assume the responsibility for them, NOT you. Please...stop running yourself down. Forget about the Survive Or Surrender match. Come home to me and the baby, Zack. Just come home. Candie's emotional plea breaks Malibu down, as his lip is quivering. The fans can see that it's getting to Zack, and Anglesault hasn't moved from the ring, watching on along with the capacity crowd. Zack asks for the mic, and Candie hands it over, again asking him "Please", in reference to his determination to finish off Bruce Blank once and for all. ZACK Candie, I love you more than anything. I love our daughter more than anything, even my career. But I HAVE to do this. I have to. Candie sighs, and tears start to fall from her eyes, and she starts saying the word "no" over and over again. ZACK Baby...baby I have to. I'll be home when it's over, I promise. I promise you, I'm coming home. Zack hugs his girlfriend tighly, her tears soaking the shoulder of his shirt. He puts an arm around her and leads her to the back, and when the two disappear behind the curtain, fans can only wonder if Zack will be going home voluntarily, or via forced retirement. COLE Well......Zack is definitely putting everything on the line in this match. Even with a victory, his career may never be the same. COACH Even I have to admit that it was hard to watch Candie there. COLE Well, this seems like an awkward time to talk about this, but at the same time, it's fitting. We've seen the chronicles of the HI-GATE Brave Cup Championship here on HeldDOWN~! over the last few months, with some spectacular bouts every time it's featured. Recently, there's been a controversy in the Orient, as Sly Sommers hasn't been defending the belt. HI-GATE officials have demanded that he defend it this Friday night at Budokan Hall. However, Sly held a press conference today in Tokyo to discuss this matter, and another subject came up. Due to the content, and what we just saw, we feel the need to show the footage to you, the fans. (Cut to a room with a big crowd of Japanese media in it. The flashbulbs go off as Sly enters the room in a black and white suit, with an entourage following him. He stands at the podium in the middle, displaying his belt on the podium in front of him.) SLY First off, I'd like to thank the press for coming to this event here today. I'm sure you're all wondering why I'm here today, the day before my huge bout against Dark Predator for my Brave Cup Championship. I was urged by the HI-GATE promotion to make this defense, or else they'd take the championship from me. I worked so very hard for that belt, as you all saw the match with Ultra Shago that I won this belt during. That match was one of the most grueling of my career. I'm prouder of that match than almost any other bout I've fought in my career. That pride seeps out of me every time I look down at this belt...but I have to give it up. (gasps can be heard throughout the media) SLY You see, as much as I love this belt, I have another engagement that's more important to me that laps over the defense, as I have to get on a plane to Providence, Rhode Island. No, it's not to wrestle...(pulls something out of his pocket)...but I bought this-here front row ticket to see something I've been waiting to see for YEARS happen. At the OAOAST's Anglepalooza event, Bruce Blank will be fighting Zack Malibu in a match where the loser must retire! Anyone who knows my history knows that I was brought into this sport by that piece of garbage Zack Malibu. He did everything in his power to make sure I never became anything because of petty personal vendettas. I might have moved on with my career, but every time I lace up my boots, I remember every insult he hurled at me, every attempt at personal injury he sent my way, every roadblock he put in front of me. Every time I see him, it KILLS me inside that I was unable to end his career when I had my chance. (Sly grabs the belt and hands it to a HI-GATE official) SLY I'm sorry, but you can have this back, as great of an honor as it is to hold it. This Sunday night, I know, with every ounce of blood that pumps through my heart, that Bruce Blank will leave you bloodied! He will leave you bruised! He will not leave a centimeter of your body unached! But, most of all, when that bell rings and your hand is raised, the immense physical pain that you will be left to deal with will not begin to match the incredible emotional destruction that Bruce will leave you under! I hate you more than anything on this planet Zack, but I know that a heart of a wrestler beats inside of you. Everyone knows that wrestlers die two deaths, one of which is when we're physically buried six feet other. But the other one, and essentially the more important, is when a wrestler is told he can't go anymore, that he can't wrestle. Zack, on Sunday night, I NEED to be there to see your heart stop and to see you die! I need to see the look on your face personally, for when you come to and you're told that you're no longer allowed to wrestle, that single moment will make every slap to my face, every kick to my balls, EVERY BAG THAT I CARRIED....worth it. Sunday night...the OAOAST's ANGLEPALOOZA! Bruce Blank, finish Malibu off! All further questioning can be done after I get back on Monday afternoon. Thank you all for coming. (Sly walks off quickly, to a storm of inquiring reporters) COLE As you can see, this match between Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank is affecting many more people than Zack, Bruce and their families. Zack Malibu has certainly made his share of friends and enemies over his career here in the OAOAST, so you can expect some old faces in the crowd in Providence this Sunday. Some will be rooting for Zack, but others, like the man you just saw, will be rooting against him. The camera cuts to the backstage area where Colombian Heat is standing by, chatting it up with some of the OAOAST's very best: Bill Neilson, Art Simpson, Barry Horowitz, Reno Riggins, and Paul Roma. Okay, so they're all jobbers, but work with me here! Heat is wearing a New England Patriots Tom Brady jersey (CHEAP HEAT!), a Boston Red Sox baseball cap, tilted to the side of course (CHEAP HEAT #2!), and baggy jean shorts (CHEAP HE--oh wait). He's also wearing black Adidas sneakers, a watch on his right arm, a silver medallion around his neck, and his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt around his waist. We catch up with Heat in mid-conversation. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yeah, yo. It ain't no thing but a chicken wing, you know what I'm sayin'? We's pumped those two bustas all over dat ring. Pssshh. It was easy as pie, a'ight? JOBBERS WOW! GREAT STORY HEAT! AWESOME! YOU ROCK! YEAH! HEAT Chyeah. We beat dem two suckas last week. And now, we is going to continue beatin' 'em this Sunday at Anglepalooza in tha Triple Threat Tag Team Match. An' if those two D*LUX cats want a piece of us, then they can come get it! Cuz me and Spanish Fly ain't backing down from nobody! We is gonna defend these Titles with pride, ya heard dat! JOBBERS YEAH! WOW! GREAT! YOU RULE HEAT! YEAH! Suddenly, Stephen Joseph Popick walks into the shot, and he is NOT in a happy mood. The jobbers get the hint, and take off, not wanting to incur the wrath of The Most Hated Man In The OAOAST. The crowd boos loudly. Colombian Heat sees the jobbers leave, then turns around. He smiles at Popick. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo! What's poppin', Popick? STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Don't you use your ghetto slang on me, boy! I am SO not in the mood! HEAT Why? You still pissed dat me an' Spanish Fly took you out last Thursday, and took yo' titles? POPICK That first fall should not have counted! You two CHEATED! The match should have ended in a tie, and WE should still be Tag Team Champions! But, I'm not gonna cry about it. There'll be no need to bring me Kleenex. Me and Puerto are going to right what went wrong this Sunday at Anglepalooza, when we take OUR HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles back FAIR and SQUARE! HEAT It'll be the first time youse won something fair and square. HA! HA! POPICK You know what my problem with you is? HEAT No. Wot's dat? POPICK Tha Puerto Rican, he--he strives to be the best. He works hard every single day. He, and people like him, they study hard, they train hard, they absorb everything they can to better themselves, so that they can make something of their lives, and help their people for the better. But then you, and people like you, come along AND RUIN EVERYTHING! It's because of people like you that Latinos get a bad rap in this country! It's because of people like you that the youth of America are the dumbest they've ever been! HEAT Yo, I ain't American. I is Colombian! POPICK Then, let me rephrase that. It's because of people like you that youth culture is the dumbest it's ever been! People like you give people like Tha Puerto Rican a bad name! HEAT Atleast I'm true to mah'self! Unlike Tha Puerto Rican! POPICK What are you talking about? HEAT He's frontin'! PR ain't really like dat! He's actin' all CORPORATE for yo' approval! He wants to be World Champion so bad dat he'll do anything, even act like a different person, to get tha belt! POPICK I don't know what you are talking about Heat. Seriously, I don't. I never understand you! You speak some weird form of Ebonics mixed with stupidity! You make me sick. You, and your stupid hip-hop entrance music! HEAT Don't you come to the ring to a hip-hop song? POPICK The hip-hop I listen to is INTELLIGENT and THOUGHTFUL. I don't come to the ring to no Lil' Jon song! HEAT You should. You're really missing out. YEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH-UH~! POPICK STOP THAT! Why can't you be like me? Why can't you change? Why can't you become Corporate? HEAT Yo, I ain't down wit dat. POPICK Change your clothes. Change the way you speak. Change your attitude. Be a better person. Be CORPORATE! HEAT I ain't conformin' for nobody! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" POPICK *Sigh* You know, you really disappoint me, Heat. You can be SO much more! HEAT Hey dawg, I can act different. I just don't want to! This is who I really is! I'm keepin' it real! I ain't no poser! Dis is tha real me! I can speak like you. It ain't no hard thing to do. Watch! Heat takes off Popick's glasses and puts them on. POPICK Hey! COLOMBIAN HEAT (speaking in a stereotypical "nerdy white guy" voice) Hello there! Pleased to meet you! My name is Colombian Heat! Why I love what you done with the place! Why don't we go outside later and drink some tea and play cricket? Then, we can read the New York Times and listen to NPR while we discuss economics and Shakesphere plays! POPICK You see! You see? You can do it! You can speak like that! Why don't you do that all the time? HEAT (regular voice) Yo, youse can kiss my Colombian ass if youse thinkin' I'ma gonna speak like dat all the time! The crowd cheers! Popick acts offended by this comment. HEAT An' anyway, I's wasn't done yet. Ahem! ("nerdy white guy voice"): My name is Stephen Joseph Popick! I'm a big four-eyed lame-o! And I wear the same stupid sweater every single day and I am going to (slowly reverting back to his real voice) get mah candy ass kicked this Sunday by Colombian Heat an' his homie, Spanish Fly! The crowd cheers again. Heat hands Popick his glasses back. Popick refuses to put them on. He just looks at them with disgust. POPICK Ah Heat, so young and naieve. You have no idea what you're in for this Sunday night. I hope you enjoy these next four days, because your HI-YAH World Tag Team Title reign ain't going to last much longer. I GUARANTEE it! HEAT Ooh! I'ma SOOOOO scared! (Heat does the Scott Hall "wiggly fingers" taunt) POPICK Keep on making jokes, Heat! Because me and PRL are going to bring you, Spanish Fly, and D*LUX back to reality at Anglepalooza when we make you all realize that we ARE the best damn tag team in the world! See you Sunday, Heat! Stephen Joseph Popick walks away, still looking disgusted at Colombian Heat putting his eyeglasses on. Colombian Heat watches him go with a dirty look on his face. The crowd boos. HEAT An' me and Spanish Fly are gonna make you, PRL, and D*LUX feel the Heat UP IN THIS-- "BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH~!" The crowd cheers. Colombian Heat spits in Popick's general direction. COLOMBIAN HEAT Punk! Colombian Heat shines his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt, and then walks away, with a swagger in his step. HEAT Gonna get things poppin' at Anglepalooza! Gonna go buckwild in the ring this Sunday! YEAH, YEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Cut to Sofa Central) COLE Colombian Heat looks to be ready for Anglepalooza this Sunday! The winner of the Triple Threat Tag Team Match is up in the air! Nobody knows which team will come out on top! COACH PR/Popick of course! COLE I don't know Coach. All three teams in the match this coming Sunday have held the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles sometime in the past three months! They all know what it's like to be Champions, but only one team can wear the gold after Anglepalooza! COACH It's going to be P.R./Popick. They've got that Championship edge. They know what it's like to be in big title matches unlike Heat/Fly OR D*LUX! And that experience will help them win back what is RIGHTFULLY THEIRS this Sunday at Anglepalooza! They were robbed last Thursday, but they will get some payback Sunday night! The match-up graphic for the PR-Popick/D*LUX/Heat-Fly Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship appears on screen. The classic Royal Rumble theme song plays in the background. COLE (V.O.) It's going to be one hell of a match this Sunday at Anglepalooza! Triple Threat Tag Team Match for HI-YAH Tag Team Championship gold. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick vs. D*LUX vs. the defending champions Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly! And coming up later tonight, a little preview of what's in store this Sunday as Tha Puerto Rican takes on "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant and Spanish Fly in a Triple Threat Match that's our main event for this evening's HeldDOWN~!. That's still to come later tonight! Up next, we've got 10-person tag team action, so stay with us as we are LIVE from Beantown.Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2013 We fade back into the backstage area where we join Jade Rodez, walking down the corridors of the arena with a PURPOSE~! Taking a left, it's obvious Jade knows exactly where she's going. The Lightning Crew locker room, straight ahead and door ajar as Princess Stacey stands at the door talking on her cellphone. As Jade sees Stacey unguarded she picks up speed, Stacey hearing the footsteps and looking up... STACEY ...and scrambling back into the locker room! The door can be heard locking behind her but that doesn't stop Jade, who marches up to the door and starts to pound away with her forearms. *THUDTHUDTHUD!* JADE COME ON, OPEN UP! *THUDTHUD!* JADE I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE STACEY! *THUDTHUDTHUDTHUD!* JADE IF YOU DON'T OPEN UP RIGHT NOW I'LL BREAK THIS DOOR DOWN AND RAM THAT TIARA DOWN YOUR THROAT... Finally the door opens, but at the hands of Cuban Wall which forced Jade to back off. Lindsay Gonzalez appears next though, stepping in front of Cuban Wall and calling The Lightning Crew's muscle off. As the big Cuban leaves, we finally see Stacey, nervously poking her head around the side of the door frame. LINDSAY Okay okay, what the HELL is going on!? JADE Where's Stacey? LINDSAY I don't see as that's any of your business little girl. JADE (looking pasty Lindsay) Stacey! Come on out and face the music... LINDSAY Oh, yeah, I get it. The boyband thing. JADE I wasn't making a pun. LINDSAY ...look, who put you up to this!? JADE Krist... Jade stops and shakes her head. JADE That's not important! What's important is what I wanna say to her, so seeing as she's not woman enough to come out here and face me then you can pass on the message that she's got a lot coming to her and I'm gonna be the one to give it to her, which is why I'm challenging her to a match at AnglePalooza! There! ... LINDSAY Obviously Lindsay finds that idea pretty amusing, unlike Stacey, who's eyes have widened all of a sudden. LINDSAY You? Wrestle Princess Stacey? I don't know what ideas Krista has put into your head, or what narcotics she's put into your body, but you cannot be serious. JADE I'm deadly serious. I'm gonna kick her golddigging butt for what she did to Heat... LINDSAY What do you care? Are you his new squeeze now, is that it? JADE No! I'm just doing what's right. And Krista told me to tell you that if you said that, I should say 'your mother' and then run away, but I don't see why I should run away because I'm not scared of you and besides I don't have an answer yet. Waiting for a chance to speak, Lindsay holds her head. LINDSAY You talk way too fast. JADE Sorry. LINDSAY Look, you want an answer? I'll give you your answer, because I know Stacey... and I know that she'd LOVE to kick your ass at AnglePalooza. STACEY Emerging from behind the door frame, Stacey looks stunned as she tries to motion to Lindsay to backtrack. Lindsay doesn't understand the frantic handsignals though and wraps an arm around her new pal, showing some solidarity and trying to intimidate Jade. It doesn't seem to work though, as Jade points a finger at the Princess and snarls. JADE I'll see YOU this Sunday! Stacey kinda whimpers to herself, as Jade strides back off. Still Lindsay doesn't seem to get it though, until she turns to go back into the locker room and Stacey doesn't, frozen in shock. LINDSAY What's the matter with you? STACEY Wha... what's the matter with ME!? What have you done!? I can't wrestle!! LINDSAY Oh please! She's just some brat, you'll beat her no problem. Now come on, PRL's gonna be going out soon and I need to get changed again. As Lindsay goes back into the locker room though, Princess Stacey still looks shaken, checking that Jade has really left before she closes the door to the Lightning Crew locker room. COLE Did I just hear that right? Princess Stacey versus Jade Rodez, one on one at AnglePalooza!? COACH Thank God we've got the Rumble and Survive Or Surrender to sell the show. The tricky, pop-savvy rhythms of Dani California bounce into the sold out venue, provoking a flood of boos to come pouring from the stands. The target of the crowd's abhorrence, twenty six year old James Riggs, outfitted in an unbuttoned white trench coat and shiny sliver and black tights, steps onto the entrance stage. Flashing lights bounce across his chiseled physique as he shoots a cocky smirk into the nearest camera. He's soon flanked by his breathtaking lady love, Staci Roberts, who's attired in a a black dress shirt tied up to show a bit of midrift and a Navy skirt cut about halfway between her knee and thigh.Cal-aye-forn-ya rest in peace Simultaneeeoussss release Cal-aye-forn-ya show yo teeth She's maaaaah priestess; I'm your priest Yeaaaah, yeaaaaah COACH I won't have you speak any ill words of this fine young man. COLE I wasn't... COACH You were. Not only am I a card carrying member of his fan club, the JR Nation, but I've appointed myself the Nation's minister of defense. It is my job to halt the onslaught of criticism against this fantastic athlete and his beautiful girlfriend from jealous peons such as yourself. Cole, you war with my man JR, you war with me. BUFFER The following contest is a ten person tag team match scheduled for a time limit of sixty minutes. Introducing first, being accompanied by Staci Robert, he hails from Torrence California and weighs in at two hundred and thirty two pounds. He is JAMES RIGGGGSSSSSS! Riggs' name is met with a chilly reception, but he brushes aside the hatred while he and Staci confidently stroll down the entrance ramp. Upon reaching the ring, Staci eloquently ascends the steel steps, giving her beau a view that many men would pay millions of dollars to see up close. She kisses her hands then lovingly places them on Riggs' smirking lips, before she seductively sits on the middle rope. In one smooth as silk motion, she brings her lovely legs up and crosses them, balancing her entire body on the middle rope while pushing up the top rope, allowing Riggs to step through. When Riggs is in the ring she, in another gracefully smooth motion, uncrosses them and ducks under the top rope herself. COACH What a hot body on that one! COLE Yeah, and she doesn't look all that bad herself. JR bounds towards the corner and ascends to the second turnbuckle. With testosterone coursing through his veins, he slaps his chest twice with crossed arms before arrogantly foisting them into the sky, angering the already hateful fanbase. Beautiful pryo erupts across both sides of the ring, before they mingle in the center of the apron, where wondrous golden pyro sparkles decorate the darkened arena. COLE James Riggs first victory in the OAOAST came in seventeen seconds, but the competition is a little fiercer tonight, and for that matter so are his partners. Speaking of partners, the smoke machine delves the entrance way into a troubling abyss, while the alt rock stylings of Quiet replace the peppy musings of RHCP's pop hit. Through the hazy wall of grey steps wrestling's premier tag team, Black T. Their appearance is hotly contested by the rabid fans, some cheering, but many booing. The fans' opinions doesn't make much of a difference to Black T, who simply exchange a firm handshake with one another then head out to the squared circle. BUFFER The partners: First, hailing from London, England, the man who has held more titles than any other man in OAOAST history, he is the "ICE HEART" DAAAAAN BLAAAAACK! His partner, residing in Hollywood U.S.A by way of San Antonio, Texas., he weighs in at two hundred sixty-wo pounds...the former heavyweight champion of the world...TONYYYYY BRRRRAAAANNIGANNNNN! Together they are known as the Trans-Atlantic Wrecking Crew, BLACK TEEEEEEEE! More boos assault the living legends, who strut to the ring with heads held high and confidence held even higher. They slide into the ring simultaneously, seizing up their young partner. Brannigan deems him worthy of tagging with The Trans-Atlantic Wrecking Crew and offers him a handshake. Black follows up with a similar gesture and just like that JR has earned the confidence and trust of the former tag team champions.Frankenstein rips into the arena, signaling the arrival of two men who most definitely do not have the trust of Black T, The Sooner Bruisers. Heel heat builds from every section of the venue drowning out the genre bending sounds of Edgar Winter. The entrance doors tear apart, revealing the despised gladiators to the caustic world. Uber outfitted in simple black trunks doesn't bother with any flashy poses or plays to the camera. The Psycho Gremlin simply walks to the ring, ignoring every fan he passes, even the few who offer him words of encouragement. Big Frank, in red shorts with 69 written on the front and a Superman style S on the back, takes a second to show off his freakish physique before he joins his brother in their solemn journey to the squared circle. COLE Black T and The Sooner Bruisers are scheduled to hook up in the second round of the Anderson Cup. These two teams have their history together, but they have to find some way to coexist tonight. And we saw The Bruisers earlier tonight len an assist to The Mardi Gras Homewrecking crew in their upset victory over The Heavenly Rockers. BUFFER And their partners from Oklahoma, weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and thirty five pounds, they are former OAOAST tag team champions, and NCAA all Americans, combined between them they have won six NCAA wrestling championships, two world championships, eight high school championships, and seven USA wrestling championships, they are The Pyscho Gremlin, Uber Bruiser, The Man of Tomorrow Uber Bruiser.....THE SOOOONER BRUISEEEEERSSS! The second The Bruisers enter the squared circle a spat erupts between themselves and Black T. Neither team seems to have forgotten the bad blood that exists between them, and neither is willing to forget. While they argue, and trade profane threats , James Riggs stands in the corner, throughly entertained by the whole show. However his girlfriend urges him to create some semblance of unity with his team, which Riggs is not exactly thrilled to do. After a brief debate, JR gives into his girls' demands, and interjects himself into the doonybrook. He informs the former tag team champions they can tear each other apart in the Anderson Cup, but for they now they must focus on the task at hand. Somehow he manages to convince the temperamental foursome of his rightness, and they agree on an uneasy truce. COACH Athlete, showman, and a peace keeper!Tick, tock, tick, tockTime goes by so slowly Time goes by....so slowly Time goes by....so slowly Time goes by....so slowly Time goes by...so slowly Time goes by....so slowly The sweaty, head-spinningly good dance track Hung Up/ from queen of pop Madonna sends the audience into state of dance induced euphoria. As Madonna's airy vocals groove throughout the venue, a bevy of scantly clad male and female dancers in costumed army fatigues come onto the stage. While they move to the pulsating music, fabulous multi colored strobe lights splash along the arena, turning Boston into the sight of the world's largest rave. Joining the dancers on stage is The Strong Style Party Animal, The Bemani Bruiser, The Masked Dance Assassin, Triple D, DDD, MOTHER FUCKING Dance, Dance Dragon! The twenty two year old dance phenom writhes his body along side his army of sexy dancers, while Buffer readies his introduction. BUFFER And the opponents...first from Osaka, Japan, he is a world champion Dance Dance Revolution player, he weighs in at one hundred ninety nine pounds, he is The Masked Dance Assassin, DANCE. DANCE, DRAGOOOONN! Dragon grooves his way down the aisle, pulling Ipod Nanos out of his pocket and chucking them to the cheering Bostonians. Upon spotting the fearsome rouges gallery that comprises the opposing team, he wisely waits on the other side of the ring for his compatriots to arrive. COLE James Riggs and Dance Dance Dragon certainly have had their fair share of issues in the past. At the New Years Knock Out contest, James Riggs eliminated himself just to attack the Dragon! COACH James Riggs didn't eliminate himself. An OAOAST official, a pure idiot, probably related to you judging by how stupid he was, chose to eliminate the man, who no doubt would've won the contest had he been allowed to continue. The stirring sounds of Ennio Morricone's The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly enter the attentive ears of the viewing audience. As the imaginative instrumentation beats it's steady war cry, red and blue lights splash across the landscape. A glorious orange pyro missle descends from the peak of the overhead scoreboard and onto the entrance stage. It lands with righteous impact, nearly deafening those spectators unlucky enough sit near it. Shortly after the powerful pyro display concludes the house lights dim to a grim blackness. The home audience is shown an overhead view of the entrance stage, it's metallic floor carpeted by simmering flames that form the shape of a bull's head. The camera pans down to reveal the hottest hunks the state of Texas has ever produce (sincerest apologies to Matthew McCaughney) , The Lonestar Gunslingers! Outfitted in matching white trunks with burnt orange kneepads, the duo walks to the ring with little in the way of preamble or showmanship However a wave of shrieking girls lends the boys barren entrance much needed flash, screaming at the top of their lungs for the sizzling hot pieces of Grade A man beef! BUFFER And his partners weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and seven pounds, they are brawlers hailing from The Lone Star State, they are The Texas Twister Jock Mulligan, Baron Windells, THE LONESTAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS! The many women (and numerous men) who like their studs to be of the “rough trade” variety give Buffer's announcement a rousing pop. The roughnecks hit the ring, where they exchange high fives with their quirky partner. COLE The Lonestar Gunslingers were victims of a brutal attack at the hands of The Sooner Bruiser's three weeks ago. They've promised revenge and that's what they're here to dish out. But they'll also have to contend with Black T, a team that beat them just two weeks ago in the first round of the Anderson Cup.Los Angeles, Sugarcult's ferocious ode to the entertainment capital of the world is heard loud and clear over the arena sound system. What's heard even louder is a monstrous roar of excitement from the fans. Every last audience member rises to their feet in unbridled anticipation of the two wrestlers soon to appear. A chant of “C-O-D” goes up when a gorgeous red pyro waterfall dives onto the stage below. The chant only increases in decibel level when the waterfall is met with an equally astounding pink pyro fountain. Once those fireworks fade into nothingness, a majestically royal gold pyro wall springs to life, overtaking the entire entrance stage in it's radiance. As the yearning chorus of the song kicks in, the Californian duo of Chicks Over Dicks steps through smoky cloak. Their arrival is welcomed with a gargantuan cheer from the Bostonians, many of whom hoist their pro-COD signs high into the sky. COACH Losers at home, mark it on your calendar, this Sunday, Anglepalooza, Chicks Over Dicks defends their tag team titles against the previous champions, The Sooner Bruisers. Alix,attired in red Gucci sunglasses, and white hot short jumpsuit with a deep plunging neckline, the back of which features a full length rose with diamonds embroidered in the petals, cruisers along the stage, rocking her shapely body back and forth, sending the fans into further frenzy. Krista's outfitted in a frilly Heatheratte™ rainbow patterned mini skirt, and spotless white tennis shoes. She off sets the girly lower body wear by sporting a “distressed” black Monarchy™ hoodie, featuring Archaic old English text, a rebellious rose graphic, and gothic zipper on the front. Somehow Krista is able to settle her hyperactive better half down long enough, to twirl her around and pull her into a tight embrace. Alix turns over her shoulders, brushes a strand of her brown locks out her face, and tosses a kiss to the camera, causing cute super imposed red lips to pop on the screen. BUFFER And their partners...., first, from Los Angeles, California, she is the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, the Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Together they are the OAOAST world tag team champions, America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks! Another hugenormouslargegargantuanbig pop! The champions take up position on the ring apron, discussing strategy with The Lonestar Gunslingers. The house lights come up and we are under way. DING DING Jock sits on the ring apron, clapping his hands together, working the already excited crowd into a higher state of euphoria. Dan Black, in the ring for his team, attaches a disapproving glare on Mulligan and warns him to cease his racket. However the caution simply causes Jock to increase the furor of his clapping, provoking Black's ire. On the other hand, the clapping and the crowd noise lights a spark with in Dance Dance Dragon, and he rushes towards the Ice Heart. But Black meets his advance with a swift forearm strike to the gut that leaves DDD doubled over in agony. Black furthers his pain by clutching onto the top of his mask, then smashing a fist into his face. The Dragon stumbles backwards into his foes' corner, where he's met with a plethora of taunts from James Riggs. Danny B adds injury to insult when he blasts the Japanese fighter with a stinging knife edge chop. The move forces Dragon to skirt along the ropes, attempting to cope with the burning pain. But The Ice Heart stalks his path and hooks him into a front facelock. In one swift motion he brings Dragon down to the canvas with a snap suplex. He floats over into a cover and 89 year old referee Clem Buzzlefoxer makes the count! ONE Dragon scraps his shoulder off the mat well before old man Clem can reach two. Black grabs the green tassels on the back of DDD's mask and roughly yanks him to his feet. He snakes his muscular arms around Dragon's waist, then lifts him up as if he was going for a Manhattan Drop. But Dragon, who has no desire to see his clam hammer get shattered by Black's kneecaps, fights out of the hold by boxing the Londoner's ears. The Ice Heart lets Dragon go free, but scores a a measure of revenge when she sweeps forward and drives a lariat into the man's chest. The cruiser weight crumples to the canvas as if he just shot out of a plain, and groans in pain. Dragon's groans are like blood in the water to a shark for Dan, he takes them as a cue to step his punishment. He directs harsh stomps towards his rival, trying his best to knock him out with the basic strikes. However this plan never gets a chance to come to fruition, for Uber Bruiser tags himself into the contest! Needless to say, Black is less then pleased with his “teammate's” untimely entry, and another argument ensues. “BRUISERS SUCK! BRUISERS SUCK!” Chants the crowd, offering their opinion on who should be in the match. However, Buzzlefoxer settles the spat by evicting Dan and ordering Uber into the ring. The Psycho Gremlin hauls Dragon upright and strikes him square in the chest with forearm. The attack is worse then getting hit with a battering ram-he staggers backwards and sways on his feet. Bruiser watches him wobble unsteadily with drool creeping out the corner of his mouth. He then quenches his thirst for violence by unleashing a Soonerline on DDD! But the OAOAST's own Lord of the Dance majestically counters the strike by flipping forward, latching his hands onto Uber's spandex tights and pulling him to the mat with a sunset flip! Before Clem can even attempt to make the count, Bruiser pulls his entire body off the mat. He turns his massive frame onto The Strong Style Party Animal, seeking to crush him with a simple shoulder block. But once again, Triple D gets the better of him, smacking him across the leg with a vicious kick. The strike has Bruiser hobbling in hurt, and leaves him open to a kick to another leg. The overwhelming hurt in his limbs becomes to much to bear, and The Pyscho Gremlin sinks to his knees, a defeated man. Unfortunately, Dragon shows him no remorse and slams a vile kick into the his mullet covered noggin. The sound of the leather boot crashing into Uber's skull is music to the audience's ears, and they emit a large pop in response. COLE There's that three kick combo Dragon loves so much! Triple D spots Jock leaning over the ropes, and yearning for a tag. Ever the good partner, Dragon eagerly tags in the handsome cowboy. Mulligan leaps into the ring, the memory of the beating he and his ally suffered at the Bruisers' hands still fresh on his mind. His vengeful response is immediate and overwhelming, laying into Uber with harsh left hands. Once the punch flurry ends, knife edge chops blaze across Uber's expansive chest, sounding like a string of firecrackers going off. “WHOOOOOO!” Dan Black, having no sympathy for Uber's situation, cries out “Shoulda never pulled me out the match, ya bloody moron!” Of course these comments, cause Frank to attempt an attack on Dan and once again forces James to play peace keeper. Back in the ring, The Texas Twister hurls Uber towards the corner. Bruiser's back endures a hurtlful meeting with the poorly padded steel turnbuckles. His upper body then suffers an even worse meeting with a body splashing Jock. The Pyscho Gremlin stumbles out of the corner, scarcely able to remain upright. Mulligan takes advantage his wounded state, by bouncing off the ropes and slamming a Western Lariat into his already injured back. The Okie goes down in a heaping pile of sweat and bones, and Mulligan quickly drops onto him for a lateral press. ONE TWO Uber kicks out, but his escape doesn't stop Dan Black from dumping more salt into his wounds “You're doing a fantastic job! Cheers!” he shouts. Jock brings Uber to his feet and launches him towards the cables. The Texas stud muffin lowers his head, hoping that Uber will leapfrog him and head towards his(Jock's) corner where one of his allies will dish out their own brand of punishment. Unfortunately Jock's tactics don't go to plan, as Uber stops in front of his body and punts him right in his chiseled chest. The blow rockets Mulligan upright, and has him whimpering in pain. While Mulligan attends to his own agony, The Pyscho Gremlin shoots himself off the ropes, looking to hit the infamous Soonerline. But the Texas bred Adonis turns the tables by latching onto Uber's singlet, lifting him into the air, then driving him into the mat with a bewildering spine buster! The tremendous impact of the hold shakes the ring right to it's very core, and earns an appreciative round of applause from the fanbase. “Bang up job, Uber! Couldn't have done it better myself!” Dan taunts, this time drawing a “Dude, shut up. Seriously.” from an annoyed Riggs. Feeling that he's done enough damage to Bruiser for the moment, Jock applies the tag to Alix Maria Spezia. The spicy Californian's entrance into the match gleans the expected ovation, and she salutes her vocal admirers with a round of headbanging. Unfortunately this moment of playing to the audience gives Uber all the time he needs to recover from the spinebuster. He closes in on his Anglepalooza opponent and stabs her in the stomach with a swift kick. He then makes the fatal mistake off trying to rip her Gucci sunglasses off her face. That's a definite no-no in Ally Spezia's book, and the buxom brunette makes him pay for his transgressions with a football kick to his Frank N Beans! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” sing the fans. Obviously, Uber doesn't quite feel the same love towards Alix as the thousands of fans do. Right now the only thing he feels like is that he's been hit in the testicles with a sledge hammer laced in barbwire. Thanks to that, he's forced to swallow his pride and tag Tony Brannigan into the match. Dan can't resist one last cheap shot at Uber's expense, shouting “Finally, we get to see a real performer in the ring!” COLE It's going to be mighty ugly when The Bruisers meet Black T in the second round of the Anderson Cup. COACHIf they meet Black T in the second round, which certainly won't happen when they win the tag team titles at Anglepalooza. The former World Champion enters the ring and almost meets the same grizzly fate as his partner. But he has the wherewithal to catch Alix's foot before it can splatter his private parts across the ring. However he doesn't have the wherewithal to prevent her from leaping into the air and slicing her free foot into the back of his head with an enziguri. Tony groggily dances for a moment, spit splaying out of his mouth, before he finally timbers forward to the mat in a convulsing pile. “BOSTON?” Alix screams to the audience. “YEAAAAAAAAH?” “ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?” “YEAAAAAAAH!” “I SAID ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?” “YEAAAAAAH!” “THEN ROOOOOOOCK AWWWWWN, BOSTON!”“YEAAAAAAH!” After her Vince Neil impression concludes, The Hollywood Bad Girl zips towards the ropes. Rather then run back, as would be the custom, she does a graceful cartwheel, and extends her body into it's full five feet eight inches when she nears her rival. She collides into him with a body splash, making a move to hook his leg for a pinfall the second she lands. Clem drops to his arthritic knees to count the pin. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Tony kicks out, using his impressive strength to toss lightweight Alix off of him. Being flung halfway across the ring by a 1900's strongman doesn't seem to deter our heroine, and she blindly charges the three time tag team champion. However, he greets her charge with a knee to the gut that subdues her enormous spirit and puts her totally under his control. The musclebound brute then manhandles her into a neutral corner, where he obliterates her with an army of perfectly placed elbow strikes to her exposed upper chest. The Body leaves her a coughing and wheezing mess in the corner and backs up towards the center of the ring. He builds up a head of steam, before dashing towards her with a corner avalanche. Unluckily for her plastic surgeon's bank account, Ally avoids the implants busting move, by diving out of the way at the last possible second. Tony's brawny upper body is besmeared across the rock hard turnbuckles, and his mouth emits pained howls. Alix isn't much for sympathy, and piles on the misery by grabbing a chunk of his greasy black hair and savagely ramming his face into the top post. The bubbly superstar, gleefully invites the audience to count along with each one of her savage strikes. “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” “FOUR!” “FIVE!” “SIX!” “SEVEN!” COACH Someone get in there and help him! “EIGHT!” “NINE!” “TEN!” COACH Frank is standing there and laughing! Do something! “ELEVEN!” “TWELVE!” “THIRTEEN!” “FOURTEEN!” “FIFTEEN.”.....”SWEET SIXTEEN!” COLE She calls that move My Super Sweet 16! The series turns out to be anything but sweet for Tony, who can scarcely recollect his own name, where he's from, or what he's doing here. He wobbles out of the corner, seeing doubles of everyone in the bout, and hardly able to stand on his own two feet. Fortunately he doesn't have to do that last part for very long, as the perky diva takes him to the mat with a simple and leg sweep. She delays dumping more gloom onto Tony's landscape long enough to lean over the ropes and blow a kiss to a wheelchair bound fan in the front row. Awwww! She then returns to task at hand and drives the point of her bare knee onto the top of The Body's forehead. The once moaning brawler goes silent the moment the strike hits, and his dark eyes turn vacant, leaving him open to a pinfall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO James Riggs, the only person on his team who has any concept of teamwork, breaks up the pinfall, earning himself a considerable amount of heel heat in the process. While the audience pelts JR with taunts and jeers, Alix refocuses herself on the task of defeating the other half of the Transatlantic Wrecking Crew. She watches Tony drag his carcass upright, then snags onto his thick arm to whip him towards a neutral corner. However, Tony reverses the basic hold, shifting his bodyweight, and using Alix's momentum against her to pull her into a short arm lariat. Miss Spezia topples to the canvas bellow, deeply injured by the awesome force of Brannigan's strike. She tries to rise to her feet, but the crippling power of the attack leaves her unable to do much more then emit soft cries of white hot pain. Her slender body does begin to move, however, but it's only due to the fact that Tony is dragging her towards his team. He makes the tag to Riggs, bringing the man into this contest for the first time tonight. The audience is none to happy to see JR enter the warzone and makes no bones about expressing their displeasure. Their hatred rolls off the fabulously cool grappler like water down his back, and he responds to the peons with nothing more then a spiteful smirk. COACH This man is one of the brightest newcomers we've seen in the OAOAST in years. He's going to be a world champion before the year is out, I guarantee it. COLE I don't question that one bit. What I do question is attitude towards the fans and his fellow wrestlers. Tony holds a squirming Spezia into position, while JR measures her with the snide “picture frame” taunt. He strikes upon the perfect place to unleash a beating, then hits that mark with pinpoint accuracy, driving a clubbing forearm onto her back. Brannigan releases his grip, and the quivering champion sinks to her knees, her dark hair falling in front of her like a wet mop. Riggs takes hold of those luscious locks, and leads her to his corner. He presses her body against the turnbuckles, then proceeds to maul her soft skin with a furious series of elbow strikes. The intensity packed behind Riggs' attacks is amazing, so much so that even his fueding teammates look on with wonderment. One person who isn't willing to stand idly by while Alix get mangled is Krista Isadora Duncan. She angrily zips into the ring, and lays a forearm into a surprised JR's back. Though the move didn't do much in the way of damage, it accomplished Krista's goal of pulling him away from her partner. Buzzlefoxer tries to lead KID back to her corner, but an enraged Riggs plunges a relatively mundane situation into full on chaos when he levels vulgarity stained threats at Krista. Not one to back down from any sort of argument, Krissy fires back with her own profanity ridden tirade, and soon the two blond haired Californians throw themselves headstrong into all out verbal warfare. COLE Well, Krista and James Riggs look like they could be brother and sister, but there's certainly no brotherly or sisterly love shared between them right now. With Clem's hands full with the two blonds, The Bruisers, acting on suggestion from Staci, proceed to lambaste helpless Ally with a combination of stomps and elbow strikes. Black T's contribution to this deplorable clobbering is too do nothing but have Tony comment that the only people the Bruisers seem capable of bruising are jobbers, and women. The brother's grim ignore the taunt and continue to batter Alix, much to the very vocal crowd's chagrin. On the outside Staci gets involved in the shenanigans, creeping up towards a weeping Alix. She makes light of Ally's very real pain by rubbing her eyes with her fists, pretending to shed tears. Once she's done feigning sympathy, she cocks her hand, then rears forward, devastating poor Alix with a viscous open hand slap! Alix wilts mightily under the assault, and can barely look Staci face as Miss Robert holds her up by the chin and cruelly informs her that there's no chance she'll make it too see Anglepalooza. “STACI DOES CREAMPIES! STACI DOES CREAMPIES!” chant the twisted New Englanders. If you don't know what a creampie is, then lucky you! The slowest moving referee in the industry finally returns towards the action. But by the time he reaches distressed Alix, the beatings have ceased and all culprits stand idly by, putting on expressions of mock innocence. Pleased with his squad's shaddy tactics, Riggs returns to Alix, and sends several boots into her back. Once he's done leaving his footprint on her jumpsuit, he drags her upright and clamps her into a frontface lock. Immediately she tries to battle free of the hold, shooting punches into his tightly toned midsection. But the blows are like mosquitoes on an elephant, and do nothing to weaken the hold. He smashes a forearm into her back to end her irksome punches, then hooks onto her bare right leg. From there JR lifts her into the air, and dives backwards, slamming her back first into the mat with a bridged fisherman's suplex. Buzzlefoxer, slowly gets to his weak knees to score the pin. ONE TWO Alix gets a shoulder off the mat, leading the audience and her team to breathe several sighs of relief. Riggs is of the mind that Clem's inability to move at anything more then a snails pace cost him a winning pinfall, and as such he rolls the move and attempts another pin. Clem again makes the count, complaining about his perpetually aching back as he does so. ONE TWO THR-- Alix shoots her shoulder off the mat, causing another thankful cheer to rise from the stands. Riggs, however, doesn't quite indulge in the same jubilation as the capacity crowd. He mutters a frustrated slew of complaints under his breath as he rises to his feet. Alix tries to the do the same, but as she reaches her full vertical frame, she feels a pair of kicks tear into her shoulder, and then legs. Before she knows it, she's kneeling on the ground, vaguely aware of the scorching pain in her limbs. She again attempts to rise, but the leg that Riggs just attacked buckles underneath her, sinking her back into the canvas. Within moments she's overtaken by a sharp, stabbing agony in her back, and before she can think of what to do next, Riggs fully cinches in his sharpshooter attempt! “RIGGS MUST DIE! RIGGS MUST DIE! RIGGS MUST DIE!” screams the fanbase. Over their hostile chants, shouts Staci, barbarically ordering her boyfriend to make the crowd favorite tap out. Alix has no intention of permitting James to grant Staci's wish, and she bites a back a groan as she paws her way to the ropes. Riggs isn't willing to let her escape that easily, and every inch that she gains is quickly robbed from her when he tugs her back to the center of the ring. But Ally steadfastly refuses to capitulate, and digs her nails deep into the canvas and continues the arduous trek to salvation. Riggs regards her resilience with nothing more then bitter contempt, and bears down harder on his hold. The increased pressure shoots torment through her system, and she sobs in misery, her body all but going limp in response to the substantial pain. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S ALIX!” On the outside Staci throws her hands up in preemptive celebration, certain that it's only a matter of time before Alix succumbs to her beau's technical prowess. For a time it appears that Staci's prediction may come to fruition, as weeping Alix looks to be on the verge of tapping out. But the encouragement from her fans, and from her team, chiefly Krista, blesses her with the strength she needs to continue her journey to the ropes. With gritted teeth she slogs across the ring, like a solider moving through muddy, bullet riddled fields. Riggs does everything in his power to submit Alix, going as far as attempting to break her weak back with the hold. But nothing short of murder could prevent the spirited champion from reaching the cables. She tries desperately to take hold of the bottom rope, which lies just a painful few inches out of reach. Riggs turns over his shoulder and snarls, making one last effort to pull her back towards the middle of the ring. But Alix calls upon all the energy left in her in tiny little body to shoot her arm forward and snatch the rope!”YEAAAAAAH!” shouts the crowd as Alix's team claps proudly on the ring apron. Riggs stares on in utter disbelief, unsure of how Alix was able to escape certain doom. Not wanting to press his terrible luck any further, The Blue Chipper tags in The Man of Tomorrow, Big Frank Bruiser. Big Frank's entrance into the bout is heralded by chants of “ROIDS WILL KILL YOU! ROIDS WILL KILL YOU!” Riggs does Frank the favor of pinning Alix's arms behind her back to hold her in place. She thrashes against his grip like a fish out of water, but his impressive strength is too much to escape for the moment. With Ally turned into a sitting duck, Frank bounces off the ropes, and goes duck hunting with a Soonerline! But The Hollywood Bad Girl somehow calls upon the strength and the divine luck to escape Riggs' clutches. By the time that The Man of Tomorrow realizes that his foe is long gone from his associates clutches it's too late to put on the breaks. His enormous arm slams into an alarmed Riggs, rocketing the air straight out of his chest. The world around JR goes black, and he lays perfectly still, the audience's voices swirling above him. “YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP!” the Bostonians sing, with Dan Black joining in on their battle cry. With Big Frank preoccupied with arguing with Staci, the crowd, and the annoyed members of Black T, Alix makes a hasty retreat to her corner where she tags in Baron Windels! Baron hits the ring, bursting at the seams with intensity and makes a mad dash for Big Frank Bruiser. He lands a forearm into a shocked Frank's upper back, then follows that up with several quick jabs to the midsection. Frank, who had no idea Alix even made a tag, recovers from his moments amazment long enough to whip around and pelt the gorgeous roughneck with a backhand blow. Baron staggers backwards, clutching his injured nose and checking for drops of blood. Frank attempts to capitalize on his disorientation by hurling him into a vacant corner. But Windels overpowers Big Frank into a reversal. The Man of Tomorrow slams into the corner with a resonating thud, but takes the brunt of the impact with his flabby backside. This means that he isn't quite as injured as Baron, who's closing in on him with shoulder charge, would like to think. He soon realizes this when his foe drops down to his stomach and disrupts his attack with a drop toe hold. Windels, unable to prepare a proper defense, suffers an unprotected face first meeting with the bottom turnbuckle. The attack leaves a grotesque aftermath on Baron's face, his nose looking as healthy as a piece of roadkill on a Georgia road. The camera shows various female fans weeping in sadness at the plight of their handsome idol. While Clem inquires on Windels' condition, Big Frank belittles the man, shouting “Come on and fight me, you pretty boy c**ksucker!” However Baron never gets the opportunity to strike Frank down for that jab, thanks to Dan Black blindly tagging himself into the contest. Of course this does not go over well with Big Frank, and verbal warfare is soon waged between the two parties. Their little spat quickly degenerates into all out fisticuffs, as the two warriors simultaneously come to blows. Frank gains the upperhand in the slugfest for a split second-a split second that Baron seizes on by school boying Dan into a pin! ONE TWO In spite of his disgust for Black T, Frank has no desire to add another L to his loss column, and breaks up the pin. He departs the ring, but not before chewing out Black and Tony for their continued disrespect. Black pays Frank no consideration, too busy lighting up his Texan rival with a succession of flesh searing knife edge chops, each one earning the requisite whoos from the fans. The fifth and final blows lands with such astounding barbarity that it knocks Baron flat on his back and has stars swirling above his head. The prone state of his adversary allows Black to make a tag his longtime partner, Tony Brannigan. COACH Black T and The Gunslingers furthering their little rivalry here. The Gunslingers said that they've taken over Black T's house, and that they're better then them. I think they spoke too soon, Cole, because they didn't show that two weeks ago and they aren't showing it here tonight. The second coming of Rick Rude is greeted by an interesting mixture of cheers from those who respect Tony's numerous accomplishments in the ring and boos from those who think he's a miserable prick. However the only opinion that matters right now is Baron's. And being part of the “prick” camp, he eagerly pounces on his enemy. He dazes his fellow Texan with a series of lightening quick jabs to the face, then puts him on a trip to the ropes. The cables bounce Tony back and he has a lariat waiting to take Windels' noggin off. But all the planning is for naught as Baron simply lowers his lanky body, and cuts through Tony with a standing spear! Overcome with a wave of adrenaline, Baron Windels stands up and pumps his fist to the roaring New Englanders. COLE If you want to prove you're better then Black T, then spearing Brannigan and leaving him in a fetal position is a good place to start. With Tony left in that aforementioned fetal position, Windels struts to his corner and brings Dance Dance Dragon into the affair. COLE We haven't seen Dragon since the start of the match, his team tags out a lot less frequently then Tony's team. In fact the only time we've even seen Krista is when she got into an argument with James Riggs. The Bemani Buster leaps over the ropes, ready to make a name for himself at the expense of Brannigan. But Tony believes Dragon's name would look better on a tombstone then a marquee, and uses powerful forearm smashes to make this wish come true. His ravenous blows bulldoze the fun loving grappler into a vacant corner, where Tony proceeds to decimate his scrawny chest with closed fists. Dragon weakens significantly under the amazing force of the strike, only being held up by the repeated succession of punches. COACH That is why Tony Brannigan is a former world champion. COLE Because he can punch a defenseless man? COACH No because of hard hitting, devastating offense that renders that man defenseless. His hands aching from the uninterrupted brutalization of the Osaka native, the burly grappler takes hold of Dragon's mask tassels and yanks him off the turnbuckle. He roughly leads him to the corner of evil, where he makes a tag to DDD's archrival, James Riggs. COLE Riggs has sort of taken up unofficial captaincy of his team, largely because he's the only one who doesn't have a problem with any of his teammates. JR's arrival into the bout is affronted by an unbelievable amount of heel heat from the rabid fans who would like nothing better but to see DDD smash his skull into pieces. Unfortunately for them that is a fantasy that will remain unfulfilled as Riggs enters the bout with a straight left cross to Dragon's face. Yet Triple D takes the volley in stride and fires back with a savate kick to Riggs' well defined abdomen. The strike pushes Riggs back several inches and leaves him stunned for a precious few seconds. But these few seconds are all DDD needs to snag JR into a tightly held front facelock. He drops backwards and mashes Riggs' goateed face into the mat with a DDT. While his foe desperately tries to remember just what city he's in, Triple D lays his arm across his sculpted chest for a pin attempt. ONE TWO Riggs' shoulder comes off the mat, and the boos return to the arena as a result. Clutching his aching head, JR unsteadily rises to his feet where his vision is met with the vexing sight of Dance Dance Dragon turning the ring into the world's largest DDR pad! His right foot taps the imaginary “buttons”, while his left bounces his bodyweight from side to side. While his actions have the Riggs-hating DDR-loving fans rejoicing, they set JR on the warpath. He stands up and assaults the Bemani Buster with a round of right hooks. Each punch earns a boo from the audience as it lands. Thankfully DDD is able to break up the lopsided slug fest by rifling a thudding knee into his foe's midsection. Holding his stomach with his left arm, Riggs' groggily stumbles from side to side, in dire need of a barf bag. Dragon continues to feed his desire to crush the overly arrogant grappler, and grabs his free arm while he hooks his leg between Riggs'. From there he drops forward, dragging his rival along with him, and smashing him face first into the ring floor with a front Russian legsweep! James yelps in distress as a harsh pain builds throughout his mangled face. “You're gonna pay for that, you ugly little freak!” Staci shrieks. Triple D puts himself off the ropes, building up great a deal of speed as he races back towards his now standing rival. But Riggs' reflexes are up to task of besting Dragon and he easily catches his enemy in a front waistlock. In one smooth as a baby's behind motion, the Californian bridges backwards and launches Dragon into the air with belly to belly suplex! SLAM! DDD's landing is of the disgusting variety, his body shaking the ring to it's core upon impact. With the crowd shooting vulgarities his way, JR makes them even angrier, showboating with a flashy pendulum elbow drop that hits perfectly onto his adversary's rib area. “There's more where that came from, freak!” Staci screams, somehow making herself heard over the chants of “RIGGS SUCKS!” A groggy Dragon finally steps to his feet. There is half a second delay before he's truly balanced, and in that half-second, his bloodthirsty foe closes in on him. He places his head under Dragon's left arm, grabs the The Strong Style Party Animal's left leg and hoists him into the air for a lethal exploding suplex. But, much to Riggs' chagrin, Dragon manages to deftly escape in midair. Instead of landing right onto his neck as JR had hoped, Triple D swings around to flip him head over heels with an arm drag! “YEAAAAAAH!” Dragon rolls to his feet, and begins delighting the capacity crowd with another one of his award winning dance routines. JR is slightly less fortunate, landing in a crumpled heap at the foot of the ropes. JR struggles upright, using the ropes for leverage, but his pesky enemy is rushing towards him, seeking to knock him clear out the ring. But Riggs reacts quick enough to halt DDD's advance with a brutal high knee lift! The base of his kneecap catches DDD squarely on the chin and plummets him back to the mat. With Triple D sprawled out on the canvas and seeing nothing but a hazy blackness, Riggs proceeds to infuriate the fans, his opposing team, and probably his mother and father watching back home in Torrence, by mocking DDD with the worst dance routine ever seen in television's eighty years of existence! COLE The dancing leaves a bit to be desired, but you can't complain about his wrestling. Dragon rises on his own will, but is quickly met with a forearm to the chest. His eyes water and his breath becomes short when another torrid blow lands on his chest. He totters from side to side, unable to mount a defense against JR's vivacious brawling assault. Feeling his rival sufficiently weakened, Riggs sweeps behind him and hooks him into a back suplex set-up. He hoists him into the sky, lifting him so high you'd swear he could touch the scoreboard. He then plummets backwards crashing Triple D into the canvas with the deadly hold. The crowd's response is of the negative variety, and they plead for Dragon to get up and give the cocky Riggs what he deserves. Unfortunately for them, before Dragon can even stand, JR tags Uber Bruiser into the affair. COLE Uber's last turn in this match didn't go as well as he would've liked, getting Sweet 16'ed into oblivion by Alix. The Pyscho Gremlin scoops Triple D up, and after delivering two vile punches to the ribcage, shoots him into the cables. Dragon returns to a waiting knee to the stomach from the Okie. He's taken head over heels, and suffers a cringe worthy neck first landing that has more then a few little kids in tears. Uber prepares to really crank up the preschool water works, as he lifts DDD up and places him into a standing head scissors. He crosses his arms under his beefy chest and then lifts him up so that he hangs horizontal to the mat. With the fans steady in their stream of hatred for him, Bruiser sits out and drops him back first to the mat, utilizing the deadly pyramid driver! Buzzlefoxer counts the ensuing pin... ONE TWO Dragon kicks out, bringing forth cheers from the audience. Uber is relentless, however, and once again takes hold of the outside leg for a pin.... ONE TWO Dragon lifts his shoulder off the mat right before Clem can hit three. Uber stares down at the prone form of The Bemani Buster, wondering what it will take to finish off this unorthodox superstar. He understands that despite his outward goofiness, the man is legitimately tough, but no one is tough enough to withstand repeated punishment from a six time NCAA champion. So The Pyscho Gremlin hoists Dragon up to his feet once more, and places him into a front facelock. He roughly jerks Dragon into the air, but at the very height of the move, the agile wrestler shifts his body free and lands behind his enemy. Leaving Bruiser puzzled as to his whereabouts, the weary dance sensation makes moves to his corner to tag in one of waiting his partners. The crowd makes no bones about who they want to see in the contest, loudly singing “WE WANT KRISTA! WE WANT KRISTA!” Dragon certainly has no intention of angering the OAOAST's vocal fanbase, and applies the tag to the blond bombshell. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Miss California hits the ring like a 5'10 ball of fitness instructing alcohol consuming fiyaaaaah! She plows through her hated Anglepalooza opponent, Uber with a leg lariat, then strikes down his incoming brother with a spinning back kick! The fans are on their feet, boisterously cheering on the beautiful gladiator. Black T is shown no mercy on her rampage, as she leaps to the third turnbuckle, then flies off, shoving her Guess? Pumps into an apron based Dan Black's face with a picture perfect springboard dropkick! The result of the move is anything but picture perfect, as Black is flung off the apron and into the cold steel guardrail. Then the largest athlete on his team, Tony Brannigan, makes his presence felt once again, dashing towards the energetic champion with an axe handle smash! But Krista is more then ready for him, and she abruptly halts his charge with a boot to his abs of steel! Tony B is left doubled over and dazed, and Krissy moves quickly to capitalize on his unenviable situation. She moves behind her much larger foe, and hooks her hands around his face. She then sits out, snapping Tony's skull off the rock hard canvas with her oddly named finisher Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (Reverse X-factor). KID extends her arm forward, hooking Tony's leg for what everyone believes will be the deciding pinfall of the match. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THRE... But Jame Riggs eighty-sixes the pinfall with an elbow to the small of Krissy's back! “RIGGS MUST DIE! RIGGS MUST DIE!” bellows the now standing audience. Krista shares in their hostile sentiments, and stands up to direct a virulent gaze upon her fellow golden haired Californian. JR soon feels the full force of Kris' anger as she temporarily paralyzes him with a basement dropkick. This capsizes Riggs to his knees and makes him a sitting duck for Miss California's next cataclysmic move. She runs the ropes to build speed, and rushes back towards her foe. She presses her foot against his knee, using it as a launching pad. From there she takes to the skies and swipes the side of her boot along his face! A grotesque mixture of blood and spit flies out of Riggs' mouth as he plummets back to mat, his night all but over. Krista hasn't a second to celebrate the taming of the arrogant superstar as the vexatious Staci Robert has hopped onto the apron, slamming Krista with a variety of taunts. Krista heads towards the bothersome lass to retort her various insults, but she's beaten to the punch by partner in crime, Alix Spezia, WHO SPEARS STACI OFF THE APRON! “YEAAAAAH!” shout the Bostonians. COACH That's not right! What happened to sisterhood, and all women sticking together?! Figuring that Alix can easily and happily handle the exacting valet, Krista turns her attention to more important matters, namely pinning Riggs. But as she nears her fallen foe she's taken off her feet with a SOONERLINE from The Man of Tomorrow! As Kris lies on the mat, feeling like every bone in her upper body has been broken, her enemy towers above her, flexing his spectacular muscles to the infinite disgust of the audience. But Frank's moment of showboating has left him exposed to any manner of ravaging moves, and it's Dance Dance Dragon who takes advantage of his vulnerability. The Strong Style Party Animal attaches himself to Big Frank's shoulders in order to pull him over with a hurricanrana. But Frank counters this deadly aerial move by latching onto Dragon's twig like legs and pushing his lightweight body down into a Boston Crab! Fortunately for Dragon, Frank never gets the chance to properly apply the deathly submission hold, as Jock Mulligan saves the day with a BANDIT KICK! The muscle bound meathead releases Dragon and topples backwards as if he just got thrown out an sixth story window. Mulligan celebrates his victory by thunderously pounding his beefy chest. But it's a celebration that may have come a seconds prematurely, for The Ice Heart rains on his parade, by driving him into the canvas with a reverse DDT! COLE Where did Dan Black come from? No one knows where Black came from, but they certainly know where he's going, and that's straight to the hospital, courtesy of a diving lariat from Mulligan's vengeful partner, Baron Windels! COACH It's breaking down in there! Buzzlefoxer restore order! Buzzlefoxer, are you even still alive? Baron hasn't a second to celebrate his besting of Black, before Uber Bruiser renters the fray. He stampedes towards Windels, seeking to decimate him with a shoulder block.. Unfortunately he'll be doing no such thing tonight, as just as quickly as he reappeared, so does he disappear. Baron sidesteps his attack, grabs onto the back of his mullet, and chucks him out of the squared circle! “BRUISERS SUCK! BRUISERS SUCK!” Problematically for Baron, James Riggs succeeds in doing what Uber failed to do; getting rid of the hunky brawler. Riggs strikes Baron with the majesticRolling Koppou (Wheel) Kick, taking Baron off his feet, and temporarily out of this match. But Riggs' isn't granted the opportunity to do further damage to his foe, thanks to the fact that Dance Dance Dragon clotheslines him over the ring ropes! Owing to his great agility, Riggs manages to land on his black boots with little more then a migraine and a hurt ego. Yet this turns out to be a bittersweet victory, for he soon has a one hundred nintey pound DDR addict descending on him with a plancha! Dragon looks Riggs right in the eyes, and sees the man curse, then swerve hard to the right. Dragon flies past his evading rival, missing him by a frustrating few inches. But these few missed inches are enough to slam DDD into the paper thin ringside mats! Riggs strides quickly towards the wreck of a man, sending stomp after stomp into his bruised midsection. COACH BALLLLIN! COLE You've run out of things to say haven't you? COACH Yep. While the situation is dreadful for young Dragon, for the rest of his team, it's anything but. Ally Spezia has made her way to the top turnbuckle, where a weak and injured Dan Black lies in the center of her menacing glare. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” ALIX :headbang: When her Skid Row impression comes to a finish, Alix rises to her lithe vertical base and prepares to crush Danny B with a swanton bomb. But a recovered Staci, Alix's earlier mistreatment fresh on her evil mind, shoves the tag team champion off the turnbuckle! Alix's body crunches into the stone solid canvas, her head snapping back awkwardly, evoking worried cries from the OAOAST fans. Staci gleefully watches the normally cheery champion hold her neck in obvious pain. Her face becomes flush with rage as he gruffly barks at her to “stand up, bitch.” She bends closer to Alix so that she can hear her even better. With every foul word spit rockets from her porous and insulting mouth, landing on Al's face, staining her soul with the essence of it's ire. Staci then grabs a fistful of her vibrant hair and brings her to her feet, trying to yank strands of the brown as chocolate locks from her scalp. Once Alix is fully upright , Miss Robert flings her towards a waiting Tony Brannigan, assured that The Body will leave her a crippled wreck. Tony does his best to fulfill Staci's desire, obliterating Alix with an Out of Body Experience!!! “BOOOOOO!” COACH That move has put away so many wrestlers over the years! One would think that everything is coming up roses in the land of Tony Brannigan. Bodies strewn across the ringside area, and no lethal opposition for miles. However the person who thinks that probably doesn't have Krista's shoe jammed into their testicles like Tony does. The San Antonian hollers out in anguish as he totters back and forth, rendered unable to take advantage of the devastation he's wrought. All he can do is stand helplessly, paralyzed by testicular torture, as Krista pulverizes him with the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! for the second time this match. She grabs onto Tony's chunky leg for the pin, and Buzzlefoxer, who had been taking a nap for the previous ten minutes, wakes up long enough to count the pin! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THRE... The beautiful Miss Robert breaks up the pin with a stomp, generating a torrent of heel heat from the audience and from Krista. While the audience can't do much more then boo and jeer, Krista is fully capable of getting physical with the meddlesome valet. And get physical she does, advancing on a retreating Staci and spearing her to the ground! The brawling ladies furiously roll themselves to the outside, where front row fans eager to memorialize the smoking hot brawl decorate the landscape with white flashes of their camera phones. Meanwhile in the ring, Dan Black is the latest grappler to try his luck on the top turnbuckle. But he meets with the same distressing results as his fellow competitors, thanks to meddling from Jock Mulligan! The Texas Twister lifts a panic stricken Black off the ropes and into a gorilla press position. The carnage thirsty observers holler with anticipation for what terrible fate Baron is about to meet. They certainly aren't let down in the least, as Jock heaves Black out of the ring so easily that it's as if the man weighed as much as a blue jay's feather! COLE Did you see the way Dan Black just got tossed out of the ring? Big Frank certainly saw it, and makes strides towards Mulligan to inflict a violent stroke of retribution. But his advance is intercepted by Alix who cuts the massive ruffian down with a missle dropkick! Big Frank timbers to the canvas like a redwood chopped down in a Northern Californian forest. However he's spared further physical torment, as Alix has directed her short attention span on an incoming Uber Bruiser. Before he can launch a single attack she overwhelms him with knee to the gut, then quickly sucks him in a front facelock. The bubbly cutie then twirls both their bodies around in nauseating fashion. Upon completing her 360 rotation, she falls backwards, torpedoing Uber's neck into the ring with the ultra deadly SUCKER FREE DDT! The crowd expunges a wealth of cheers in response to Alix's signature move, as she goes for a deciding pinfall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THRE... James Riggs destroys the pin by bringing a steel chair down onto Alix's back! “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” scream the audience, some of which start to hurl garbage and debris into the ring. COLE Darn it, Clem! Are you blind? CLEM Yes. Riggs turns his weapon of mass destruction onto The Texas Twister, salivating over the prospects of ending the man's career with one mighty swing. But Mulligan launches his own deadly missile in the form of a Bandit Kick that rebounds the oncoming weapon into Riggs' face! JR plunges to the canvas, staring up at the bright ceiling lights, his unseeing eyes glazed over and wide open. Mulligan lays his frame across Riggs' trim body for a lateral press. Buzzlefoxer makes the count! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Broken up by Tony Brannigan! “BOOOOO!” Mulligan launches a strong overhand left that connects with Tony's nose, initiating a flurry of punches from the rugged grappler. However this spurt of offense from Jock is abruptly terminated by a left cross from Brannigan that cracks across his orbital socket. Now Jock is left on the defensive as the strongman applies a tight front waistlock. He bends his knees for leverage as he begins the makings of a belly to belly suplex. However he can't quite acquire a secure grip around Jock's baby oil soaked body, thus he executes a standing switch, thinking he'll have more luck with a German Suplex. Mulligan attempts to shatter the hold with a fierce elbow to Tony's skull, but the former world champion frees his rival before the move can even connect. He spins an out of kilter Mulligan around and nearly drives him through the ring with an earth shaking Out of Body Experience! Mulligan's body is drained of any sort of life and looks broken beyond repair. COACH It's over! It's over! Not if DDD has anything to say about it! He sneaks up behind Brannigan and hooks his arms between his, then begins to awkwardly contort and twist the alarmed pugilist's body. Finally Dragon sits out and crunches his foe into the canvas with a Newbie Killer (Vertebreaker)! COLE Now it's over! Rather then go for the logical pin, Dragon starts to convey his thoughts, hopes, dreams and opinions through the medium of contemporary dance, whipping the already overexcited audience into a further frenzy. But their joyouys mood quickly turns sour, when James Riggs sneaks behind Triple D, and stabs his steel chair into his leg. Dragon's leg buckles beneath him, and he emits an animalistic cry that scarcely sounds human. His problems continue to mount when Riggs hooks his upper arm, pulls it behind his back, and applies a vast amount of pressure to his shoulder, all while cinching in a crossface! COACH There's the crossface chicken wing, James Riggs' finisher! Now it's really over, Cole! Dragon lets out a strangled noise of pain that's barely heard over the crowd's appeals not to tap out. He claws at the canvas with his one free arm and futilely reaches for the ropes. But it's to no avail, as not even Gumby could stretch far enough to close the distance between he and the cables. But he doesn't give up, he continues reaching for the ropes, in spite of the fact that Riggs is wrenching back further and further. Dragon looks out across the landscape, waiting for one of his team to stage a rescue attempt. But with no savior on the horizon and no way to get to the ropes, Dance Dance Dragon has no choice but to tap out! “BOOOOOOO!” The bumping funk of Dani California returns to the audio forefront as the time keeper rings the bell signifying Riggs' impressive victory. BUFFER The winners, Black T, The Sooner Bruisers and James Riggs! COLE What a match, what a match. A great performance by all ten people, and even eleven if you count Staci's involvement. But at Anglepalooza it will be a straight tag title match between Chicks Over Dicks and The Bruisers for the tag team titles. And Dan Black, Tony Brannigan, and James Riggs will be in the Lethal Rumble. I think Riggs has some momentum heading into the rumble with this win tonight. Riggs departs the squared circle, with arms raised and contemptuous smile taking shape on his handsome face. He falls into the loving arms of his battle weary girlfriend, and soon his fractured teammates join his side, congratulating him on securing the win for their unit. Meanwhile back in the ring, Alix and The Gunslingers check on the wounded Dragon, while Krista leans over the ropes, challenging all six members of the heel team to a brawl. They of course reject her invitation, instead backing up the ramp, belittling and taunting the losing team.Commercial break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2013 The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. COLE Here we go! Main event time on HeldDOWN~! A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and through the smoke comes "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. The crowds' boos get louder. PR looks at the crowd in disgust, jawing with some fans. He has his right hand on his right hip, and is holding his spray-painted black briefcase with his right hand. PR sneers at the crowd, and then begins his walk down the entrance ramp as "Know Your Role ’99" continues playing. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Triple Threat Match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is the leader of The Lightning Crew AND The Man With The Golden Contract. "The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Chants of "P.R. SUCKS!" fill the arena as PRL continues his walk to the ring. COLE Up until last week, P.R. was announced coming to the ring as one-half of the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions. But that all changed after the incredible 2 Out Of 3 Falls Match last Thursday on HeldDOWN~!. COACH Oh yap, yap, yap! Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick were ROBBED last week! That first fall shouldn’t have counted! The match should have been a tie, and the belts should have remained with P.R./Popick! COLE Nothing you can do about it now, Coach. PR and Popick are now the FORMER HI-YAH Tag Team Champions, and the belts are now being held by Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly! COACH The fact that that midget and that dumbass hold those belts makes me want to puke! COLE You maybe the only one who feels that way, Coach. COACH I don’t care! I march to the beat of my own drum! Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans boos while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican puts his spray-painted briefcase right next to him, and does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still booing loudly. PRL grabs his briefcase and heads to a second turnbuckle, where he raises the briefcase with his right hand. He then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises his briefcase with his right ha nd again. PR hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises his briefcase with his right hand in the air and "smells the electricity" a'la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving boos. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes, removes his sunglasses and earring and hands them over to a ringside attendant, then calls for a microphone. COLE PR has a chance to get his belt back this Sunday at Anglepalooza. But for now, he can get a little ounce of revenge in this Triple Threat Match, a preview of what’s to come at Anglepalooza! Spanish Fly, "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant, and PRL will collide in just a few moments, and all three men will join their tag team partners for a Triple Threat Tag Team Match at Anglepalooza this Sunday, January 28th, live only on pay-per-view! COACH Stop shilling for a second, PRL is going to speak! Indeed, The Corporate Champ has a microphone in his left hand. The lights go back on in the arena. COLE What’s he going to say now? COACH Well shut up and let’s find out, okay? COLE You’re mean. "Know Your Role '99" dies down. The crowd starts booing loudly again. Another "P.R. SUCKS!" chant starts up. PRL paces around the ring, a pissed off grin on his face. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN So this Sunday at Anglepalooza, Popick and myself have got to fight not one, but TWO tag teams, filled with not two, but FOUR jabronies in order to get OUR HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles back! Fine, I’m not gonna be complain about that. It’ll just make our eventual victory sweeter when we have to beat four men to do it! What DOES piss me off is that tonight, I have to face two of those four jabronies in ANOTHER Triple Threat Match here in Boston, Massachusetts! CHEAP POP~! COLE Bean Town coming unglued tonight! PRL I have an important match coming up this Sunday, and you expect me to fight TWO men at the same time just 72 hours before this said match? Why, this is just another example of the conspiracy the OAOAST has against me! They don’t want me to get the World Heavyweight Title, and they don’t want me to wrestle at their pay-per-views! Well, I am going to show the OAOAST Board Of Directors a thing or two when I whupped TWO pieces of trailer park trash tonight in the home of the biggest piece of trailer park trash in the world, TOM BRADY! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Oh, I think PRL is going to get lynched for that remark! COACH Hit them where it hurts, P.R.! PRL And just like the New England Patriots, Spanish Fly and Tyler Bryant will CHOKE tonight in the main event! And after I’m done whopping their candy asses, it’s off to Anglepalooza where I will get my PRESTIGIOUS CORPORATE HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship back, then go on to win the Lethal Rumble and finally, FINALLY win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title at AngleMania VI! And that’s the truth, Ruth! Because there is only true threat standing in this ring tonight! And it’s not that boyband wussy and it’s DEFINITLEY not that sawed-off lost member of Menudo! Oh no! It’s the man standing in the middle of this very ring right now! Yours truly, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican! The crowd boos lustfully! PRL has a cocky smirk on his face. PRL (CONT’D) And I WILL win this match tonight, because unlike Spanish Fly, I actually went through puberty! And unlike "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant, I’ve actually had sex...with a girl! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! PRL puts the microphone away. He bounces off the ropes to get ready for the match. COLE PRL with some not too kind comments for his opponents OR the city of Boston! COACH PRL was speaking the truth, you know. COLE Oh will you stop!? "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT’S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT’S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT’S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT’S THE WAY WE DO IT!" The crowd explodes in cheers as "First To Believe" by A1 starts playing over the P.A. system. The entrance doors slide open, and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant comes out on his own. He stands ready to fight in his denim jeans. Bryant points to PRL, and then walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER And his opponent. From Auburn Hills, Michigan. Weighing in at 209 lbs. He is one-half of D*LUX, "Tremendous" TYLLLLLEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BRYYYYYAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! Tyler continues slapping hands with the fans. COLE Tyler Bryant rarely wrestles in singles matches on HeldDOWN~!, but tonight he will be without his partner! COACH I can’t wait to see him get lost out there without Shayne Brave! He’s going to start panicking, just you wait! He’ll be like a deer in headlights, like a child looking for his mommy in a department store! He’s going to be in for SO much pain! I can’t wait! COLE You’re underestimating Tyler there, Coach. He maybe a tag team specialist, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t make it on his own. In fact, tonight just maybe the night he breaks out as a singles superstar! COACH Yeah! And monkeys may fly out of my butt! Stop with the hyperbole, Mikey! This match is PRL’s for the taking, just like the HI-YAH Tag Team Title Match this Sunday will be! They’ve got this in the bag, PR and Popick do! Just you wait! COLE Well, we’ll find out this Sunday. But for now, let’s see who’ll win this singles Triple Threat Match! As "First To Believe" continues playing, Tyler Bryant leaps onto the ring apron. He enters the ring. Tyler raises his hands in the air to cheers from the fans. Bryant takes off his stylish denim jacket and hands it over to a ringside attendant. He then walks right on over to Tha Puerto Rican and gets into a yelling contest with him. COLE Uh-oh, Tyler and PRL ready to get it on right now! COACH They should just do it right now! Let Spanish Fly watch it from his booster chair. COLE Oh, will you stop? Bryant and PRL continue yelling in each other’s faces. COLE Well, tickets are sold out for Anglepalooza, so the best way to see the show is on pay-per-view! Call your local cable or satellite operator to order now! COACH Mikey, stop shilling! A brawl could erupt right now! PR and Tyler still yell at each other. "First To Believe" by A1 dies down. The lights go down in the arena. Two spotlights shine on the entrance doors. After five seconds... *BOOM~!* Spanish Fly shoots out from underneath the entrance stage with pyro right behind him. "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "Krokodilamadurinn" by Quarashi starts playing. Spanish Fly raises his right fist into the air causing the crowd to cheer. Fly points to his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt around his waist and points to both sides of the arena, and then walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER And his opponent! Originally from Tijuana, Mexico but now residing in San Diego, California. Weighing in at 175 lbs. He is one-half of the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions of the wooooorrrrllllllllldddddddd! The one, the only, SPANISHHHHHHHHHHHH FLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! COLE The smallest HI-YAH Tag Team Champion in HI-YAH history, Spanish Fly has proven time and time again that he is a tiny stick of dynamite! He’ll have a tougher match than usual as he takes on TWO opponents at the same time, but if Spanish Fly can survive this, then suffice to say, he can survive the Triple Threat Tag Team Match this Sunday AND the Lethal Rumble Match later on that same night! Spanish Fly continues slapping hands with the fans as "Krokodilamadruinn" continues playing. COACH This is not going to be an easy match for Fly. COLE I know that. Which is why I said he’ll have to fight harder than usual. COACH I was thinking he should just take his pacifier and his teddy bear and go home. COLE Oh come on now. Spanish Fly enters the ring. He glances over at PRL and Tyler, who are still face-to-face, and then heads to a second turnbuckle, where he unstraps his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt and raises it over his head to cheers. Fly has a smile on his face as he gets off the second turnbuckle, and heads to another second turnbuckle, where he raises his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his head again, receiving more cheers from the crowd. Fly gets the crowd fired up. Fly gets off the turnbuckle. He hands his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt to referee Jimmy Korderas, who hands it over to a ringside attendant. Fly then takes off his black Spanish Fly T-shirt (SHILL~!) and throws it into the crowd. COLE Excitement is his middle name! One-half of the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions along with Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly has entertained fans all over the world during the past two years! But it wasn’t until last Thursday night that he won his first title in the OAOAST. Now, in just three days time, he’ll have to defend that title against four of the very best athletes in the world! COACH And he’ll find out that he is no match for Tha Puerto Rican! COLE (ignoring Coach) This will be quite the test tonight and at Anglepalooza. Can Spanish Fly survive this match, the Tag Team Title Triple Threat Match, AND the Lethal Rumble Match? COACH No, no, and DEFINITLEY no! The lost member of Menudo is NOT winning the Lethal Rumble Match! And look, PRL and Tyler Bryant are STILL in each other’s faces. Spanish Fly watches as PRL and Bryant continue being nose-to-nose. The lights go back on in the arena as "Krokodilamadurinn" by Quarashi dies down. Spanish Fly walks a little closer to PRL and Tyler. PRL notices this and piefaces Spanish Fly onto the mat! COLE Oh! What a sign of disrespect from Tha Puerto Rican! COACH He deserves it, that little midget! Referee Jimmy Korderas calls for the bell. *DING DING DING*TRIPLE THREAT MATCH "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN vs. "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT vs. SPANISH FLY PRL strikes first with a Rock-style punch to the temple! Spanish Fly charges forward...and hits PRL with a headscissors takedown! The crowd cheers! SF turns his attention to "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant, striking him with forearm shots to the head. The shots take Tyler into a turnbuckle corner. Fly whips Tyler Bryant into the opposite turnbuckle, where PRL is resting. Tyler reverses, and Fly runs into PRL’s direction, doing something of a Flair Flip onto PRL’s shoulders! Spanish Fly does a backflip, and lands on his feet on the mat. However, Tyler Bryant is right behind Spanish Fly, so he grabs Fly and hits him with a back suplex! NO! Spanish Fly stops the back suplex by pushing himself forward, kicking PRL in the face in the process! Fly then drops down with Tyler to the mat! COLE What fast paced action we’ve had so far, and it’s only been 1 minute into this match! COACH Come on P.R.! Don’t let that dwarf upstage you! Spanish Fly does a standing moonsault onto Bryant, and then covers him. 1... 2... PRL BREAKS THE COUNT! COACH Just like he’ll do this Sunday if the situation arises! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican grabs Spanish Fly and throws him UNDER the bottom rope! Spanish Fly goes sliding out of the ring! COLE Spanish Fly tossed out by Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Go back home to your momma, Fly! It’s the big boys time to play! PRL and Tyler Bryant do some amateur style wrestling on the mat. COLE PR and Tyler going old school on us with some amateur wrestling! Neither man gains the advantage, so PRL and Tyler get up and stare at each other. Puerto Rican notices Spanish Fly getting back up on the ring apron, so he charges forward and knocks Spanish Fly off the ring apron and back to the floor! COACH HA HA! PRL and Tyler Bryant go back to the amateur wrestling. Neither man gains the advantage, so they just stare at each other again. Tyler Bryant notices Spanish Fly getting back up on the ring apron, so he charges forward and knocks Spanish Fly off the ring apron and back to the floor! COLE Again! Knocking Spanish Fly off the ring apron! COACH They’re doing divide and conquer Mikey! Get Spanish Fly out of the equation, and then concentrate on each other! Brilliant strategy. COLE From PRL or Tyler Bryant? COACH PRL. Duh. Tha Puerto Rican grabs Tyler Bryant and throws him down onto the mat, grabbing his legs to apply a Sharpshooter! However, Tyler slips out of P.R.’s grip! Both men get up at the same time. PR grabs Tyler Bryant once again and throws him down onto the mat, covering him while putting his feet on the second rope! COLE Hey! 1...2...TYLER KICKS OUT! The Corporate Champ slaps the mat in frustration. He then turns to see Spanish Fly back up on the ring apron. He charges forward...but Spanish Fly ducks the charge...and headbutts PRL in the stomach! COACH He’s cheating again! COLE No he’s not! Calm down! Spanish Fly flips OVER Tha Puerto Rican into the ring, and then hits "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant with a spinning wheel kick! Spanish Fly gets right back up, so PRL charges forward...right into a drop toehold from Spanish Fly! Fly waits for PR to get up. When he does, Puerto charges forward, but Fly moves out of the way, and PRL hits the turnbuckle sternum first! "Tremendous" Tyler is back up on his feet, and he charges forward. Spanish Fly leapfrogs over him! Tyler ALMOST bumps into PRL, but luckily for him, he stops in his tracks. COLE Close call for Tyler. All that does is allow Spanish Fly the chance to roll Tyler Bryant up for the pin! ONE! TWO! PR BREAKS THE COUNT! COACH Phew. Puerto Rican grabs Spanish Fly by his mask, and whips him into a turnbuckle. PRL charges forward, Spanish Fly jumps up so that PRL runs into the ring post! PRL’s left shoulder hits the ring post! COACH OH! Puerto Rican falls out of the ring and onto the floor! Bryant attacks Spanish Fly from behind, hitting him with forearm shots to the back! He gets a successful back suplex on Fly. Tyler is starting to feel fatigued from this match-up. Bryant picks Spanish Fly up by his mask, and then gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Samoan Drop! Bryant covers Fly. It gets a two count! COLE PRL is down! It’s just between Tyler Bryant and Spanish Fly now! "Tremendous" Tyler picks Spanish Fly up. Phantom Neckbreaker on Fly! "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" COLE Tyler Bryant and Spanish Fly are both fan favourites, but in this case, I think the fans would choose to root for Spanish Fly! COACH It’s the size thing, isn’t it? COLE Probably. "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant picks Spanish Fly up again by his mask. He gives him a SWEET snap suplex! Cover! 1.... 2... RIGHT SHOULDER UP! COLE And again Spanish Fly gets the shoulder up! COACH If it were PRL doing the beating, this match would be over with! Come on PRL! Get up! Tyler Bryant picks Spanish Fly up again. He applies a headlock on the 4’11" Latino superstar. Spanish Fly gets out of that move by punching Tyler in the stomach repeatedly. Spanish Fly bounces off the ropes, Tyler misses a clothesline, Fly bounces off the opposite ropes, Tyler Bryant grabs him...and THROWS him over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Oh! Bryant just tossed Fly out of the ring! COACH That was a little out of character for him. I like it! Tha Puerto Rican slides back into the ring and attacks Tyler Bryant! Puerto hits Tyler with Rock-style punches to the temple! COLE Look at PRL! He was lying in wait! He allowed Bryant to be worned out by Fly, and then look for his opening to attack! COACH PRL has one of the great minds in this business, and this is proof right here! Look at him go after Bryant! He’s ruthless! Ruthless aggression! I like that! *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The knife-edged chops cause Tyler Bryant to fall to the mat. P.R. starts stomping on Tyler Bryant with his shaky leg kicks! He then switches to regular stomps, further weakening one of the men he’ll have to face this Sunday at Anglepalooza! PRL picks Tyler Bryant up by his hair. He gives him a vertical suplex. P.R. rolls through, and gives Tyler ANOTHER vertical suplex. P.R. rolls through again, and holds Tyler up in the air for a third vertical suplex. He lets the blood rush to Tyler’s head. COACH Phenomenal strength from Tha Puerto Rican! Absolutely breath taking! COLE It’s good all right. COACH Good? It’s the best! PRL does the "You can’t see me!" hand gesture. He then walks over to the ropes, and drops Tyler Bryant’s stomach on the top ring rope, giving him a slingshot suplex onto the mat to complete the Corporate Trifecta! Afterwards, PRL applauds himself. He makes the cover! It gets two! As PRL picks Tyler up, the OAOAST Starbucks Doubleshot Replay shows Tyler Bryant throwing Spanish Fly over the top rope and out of the ring. COACH Watch this! Watch this! BAM! Oh man! That was amazing! I loved it! Simply amazing! That oughta teach the little runt where he belongs in wrestling! PRL with another knife-edge chop across Tyler Bryant’s chest! PRL shoves Tyler into a turnbuckle corner, and then taunts him. Bryant responds by chopping PRL across *his* chest! He does it again! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") And again! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") And again! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") And again! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") And again! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") COLE Tyler Bryant is in it to win it! Tyler Bryant Irish-whips Tha Puerto Rican into the ropes--PRL reverses--PR grabs Tyler. Overhead belly-to-belly suplex! COACH Yes! PRL covers Tyler. 1... 2... TYLER PUTS HIS LEFT FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE! COLE That was instinct right there! Tyler doing anything he can to win this match! COACH Nice excuse for that DASTARDLY deed by Tyler! PRL glances angrily towards the referee. He picks Tyler up and punches him in the face with a Rock punch. P.R.L. whips "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant into the ropes--NO!--Tyler reverses--P.R. bounces off the ropes, and gets clotheslined by Tyler Bryant! COLE Tremendous clothesline from "Tremendous" Tyler! COACH Lame. Tyler Bryant stops to catch his breath, and then picks Tha Puerto Rican up. Tyler punches PR in the face! Tyler then takes Tha Puerto Rican over to a turnbuckle corner and slams his head on top of the top turnbuckle pad! Tyler then grabs P.R. and whips him into the ropes. He goes for a clothesline, but P.R. ducks, grabs Bryant from behind, and hoists him up, giving the member of D*LUX a German Suplex! Puerto then gets right back up and pounds his chest while screaming out, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE The arrogant Puerto Rican superstar in control of this match right now! COACH And that’s the way it’ll be for the rest of this match. PRL poses and laughs manically in the center of the ring...which is why he doesn’t notice when Spanish Fly climbs back onto the ring apron and leaps onto the top ring rope, springboarding off of it to deliver a dropkick to the back of Tha Puerto Rican! PRL flies out of the ring through the second rope thanks to that move! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH WHERE DID HE COME FROM!?!? COLE Spanish Fly with the cover! COACH STOP IT! STOP IT! ONE! TWO! THRE--KICK OUT! CROWD GROOOOAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! COLE And Bryant kicks out just before the count of 3! COACH Oh Thank God. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Allah. Thank you Buddha. Thank you Vishnu! Ganesa. COLE Coach, if you thank all the Hindu gods, we’ll be here all night. Spanish Fly can’t believe that he only got a two count. He holds two fingers up as if to say, "I was this close!" But he has no time to mope, so he picks "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant up by his head and hits him with forearm shots to the face repeatedly. Fly whips Bryant into the ropes. Bryant reverses, and when Fly hits the ropes, PRL attacks him and pulls him out of the ring! COLE P.R. ain’t pleased with what Spanish Fly did to him earlier. COACH Serves him right, the little punk! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican slides underneath the bottom rope. He charges with a clothesline, but Tyler ducks, grabs PR from behind, and delivers a German Suplex on Tha Puerto Rican! "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT YEAH-UH~! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Spanish Fly leaps off the top rope with a missile dropkick on "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL and Tyler Bryant slowly crawl around the ring. PRL is breathing heavily, same as Tyler. Tyler goes to the outside to recover. Spanish Fly goes to pick Tha Puerto Rican up, but gets poked in the eyes! PRL attacks SF with Rock-style punches to the temple. Puerto grabs Spanish Fly by his left hand and whips him into the ropes--NO!--Spanish Fly reverses. PRL rests on the ropes. Spanish Fly charges forward...PRL grabs Spanish Fly...And Alley Oops him...OVER the top rope...AND ONTO "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT ON THE OUTSIDE! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Spanish Fly sent over the top rope and onto Tyler Bryant! COACH Meh, if it eliminates Tyler from the match, then good job, Fly! Spanish Fly gets up. Tyler is still lying on the ground. Spanish Fly smiles as he raises his hands in the air. This gives PRL the perfect opportunity to grab Spanish Fly from behind and THROW him into a barricade! COACH This match is moving along perfectly! A PRL victory is only a few moments away! Having dealt with Fly, The Corporate Champ turns his attention to "Tremendous" Tyler. TPR grabs Tyler by his head, and throws him back into the ring. Puerto Rican grabs Tyler again, and takes him over to the ropes, where he places Tyler’s head on the second rope. PRL then drives his left knee into the back of Tyler’s neck. COLE P.R. on offense, just dominating Tyler Bryant right about now! "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" Tha Puerto Rican heads to the opposite ropes. He then charges forward, jumping up, and driving all of his weight into Tyler Bryant’s back! COLE What a move from Tha Puerto Rican! PRL poses, and then goes back to Tyler, choking him on the second rope. COLE Now come on now! This isn’t right! This isn’t right at all! PRL continues driving his left knee into the back of Tyler’s neck. He then grabs Tyler, and starts choking him from behind on the second rope. DOUBLE 6-1-9 FROM SPANISH FLY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111111111111 COLE A double 6-1-9! From Fly to Bryant and PRL! Spanish Fly catches his breath, and then climbs the top rope. COLE Could it be time? Could it be time for the Fly Swatter? COACH Oh no! Look out PR! I don’t care about Tyler, but LOOK OUT P.R.! Spanish Fly is on the top rope. He waits for Tha Puerto Rican or Tyler Bryant to get close to him. He decides to target PRL. Fly leaps off the top rope for the FLY SWATTER... THAT MISSES~! COLE Oh! And Spanish Fly misses his finishing move! COACH That was a close one! PRL then bounces off the ropes, and delivers a seated dropkick right into Spanish Fly’s face (or mask in this case)! COACH That almost knocked his mask off! Get it? Because he wears a mask and it’s on his head-- COLE I get it, Coach. PRL gets up and laughs evilly. He does the "You can’t see me!" hand gesture. PRL turns around--- ---RIGHT INTO THE MERRY TYLER GORE SHOW FROM "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT~!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111111111111 COLE The Merry Tyler Gore Show! Tyler Bryant has just given Tha Puerto Rican his finishing maneuver! The crowd cheers loudly as "Tremendous" Tyler quickly covers Tha Puerto Rican. Referee Jimmy Korderas counts, along with the crowd. COACH Kick out! Kick out! KICK OUT! 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3-- SPANISH FLY HITS TYLER BRYANT TO BREAK UP THE FALL! Spanish Fly rolls Tyler Bryant off of Tha Puerto Rican, and then covers Puerto himself! 1... 2... KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE No! No! No! Bryant kicked out! COACH Boo! I mean, yea! I mean, I don’t know! Spanish Fly slaps the mat in frustration! Spanish Fly picks Tha Puerto Rican up...and gets scratched in the eyes! PRL slowly (very slowly) gets up. Tha Puerto Rican punches Spanish Fly in the face several times. KICK WHAM CORPORATE NIGHTMARE NO! Spanish Fly escapes, and kicks PRL in the gut. Spanish Fly bounces off the ropes. Tha Puerto Rican grabs him, and lifts him up, only to get hit with a front dropkick from Spanish Fly! The front dropkick sends PRL stumbling right into the waiting arms of "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant, who gives PRL a back suplex OVER the top rope and onto the floor! COACH OH NO! PRL lies on the ground on the outside. COLE Oh my! Meanwhile, back in the ring, Spanish Fly charges forward towards "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant. Bryant goes for a clothesline, but Spanish Fly ducks, gets onto the second ring rope, springboards off of it, and gives "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant a hurricarana! COLE Hurricarana to Bryant! Spanish Fly has "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant covered! Jimmy Korderas counts. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (8:31) "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE He got him! Fly got BOTH of them! COACH DAMN IT! COLE Language! COACH Right. COLE What an upset! BUFFER Here is your winner...SPANISHHHHHHHHHHHH FLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Fly gets his hands raised, only to get clotheslined from behind by Tha Puerto Rican! P.R. proceeds to kick Spanish Fly while he’s down, to the crowds boos. COLE Oh! And now Tha Puerto Rican is back inside the ring! He’s attacking Spanish Fly! COACH Hey, Spanish Fly wanted to win, now he’s gotta pay the price! COLE What? PRL stomps on Spanish Fly some more. "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant gets up. He slowly walks over to where Tha Puerto Rican is at. PRL glances over at Tyler, and motions for him to do something. Tyler is hesitant at first, but then nods at PRL...and starts stomping on Spanish Fly too! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE I don’t believe this! Tyler Bryant is HELPING Tha Puerto Rican! After all that he’s done! Why? COACH It’s called divide and conquer, Mikey. Severely weaken Spanish Fly, so that both D*LUX AND PR/Popick have a better shot at winning the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles this Sunday! COLE Still, this doesn’t seem right at all! COACH That’s because you’ve never wrestled. COLE Neither have you. COACH I’ve wrestled a couple of matches. PR and Tyler beat on Spanish Fly for a bit, but that all changes when Colombian Heat comes running down the entrance ramp and enters the ring to help his buddy! COLE Colombian Heat is here! Colombian Heat goes after Tyler Bryant first, punching him repeatedly in his face! The punches take Tyler to a turnbuckle corner. Heat then goes to work on Tha Puerto Rican! Heat takes Puerto over to another turnbuckle and unleashes a combination of chops and punches all over PRL’s body! COLE Colombian Heat going to work on one of the men that he’ll meet this Sunday! Colombian Heat continues punching Tha Puerto Rican...until Stephen Joseph Popick enters the ring! But he gets knocked to the mat several times! Heat goes back to work on Tyler Bryant, unleashing a flurry of martial arts kicks all over Bryant’s body, culminating in a jumping back kick that sends Tyler Bryant slumping to the mat, with his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad! COLE Colombian Heat is on FIRE~! And oh my! Oh my! Tyler maybe in trouble here! The crowd comes alive as they know what is going to happen next. And indeed, Colombian Heat heads to the opposite turnbuckle, does the "low-rider" hand gesture, and then charges forward...BUT IS INTERRUPTED BY "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE! COLE Shayne Brave has arrived! All six men that will compete in the Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles are in this ring right now! COACH We’re getting a preview of Anglepalooza this Sunday, Cole! Colombian Heat engages in a slugfest with "Showtime" Shayne Brave. Stephen Joseph Popick has picked Spanish Fly up and has started engaging in a slugfest with him too! PRL beats on Tyler Bryant in the turnbuckle! The crowd is going nuts! COLE All six men! They’re fighting in the ring now! COACH Get ’em PR! Get all of them! COLE We’ve got three separate battles going on at the same time! The brawl continues in the ring! Colombian Heat’s punches stagger "Showtime" Shayne. Heat takes a few steps back, and then charges forward, clotheslining Shayne over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Shayne is out of the ring! "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant rests on the bottom turnbuckle. Colombian Heat gets into a slugfest with Stephen Joseph Popick! PRL battles it out with Spanish Fly! Tha Puerto Rican whips Spanish Fly into the ropes. Spanish Fly fires back with a Rube Goldberg Bulldog! Colombian Heat’s punches stagger Popick. Heat grabs Popick and gives him the Pimp Juice! Heat and Fly look at each other, and smile. Colombian Heat gets onto the mat and applies the HIGHER CALLING on Stephen Joseph Popick! At the same time, Spanish Fly grabs PR’s legs, puts his right leg in between them, crosses PR’s legs over it, and then turns around, kneeling down to apply the SHARPSHOOTER on Tha Puerto Rican! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Look at this! Look at what we’re seeing! PRL and Popick are being put in their OWN submission holds! COACH OH THIS IS EMBARASSING! I CAN’T WATCH! COLE How humiliating must this be for P.R./Popick!?!?!? COACH VERY HUMILATING! Colombian Heat pulls back on Popick’s arms, giving the Most Hated Man In The OAOAST even greater pain. Spanish Fly pulls back on the Sharpshooter. PRL screams out in pain! COLE PR and Popick, is this what’s going to happen to them this Sunday at Anglepalooza? COACH I HOPE NOT! PRL TAPS OUT! He taps out due to the pain of the Sharpshooter! COACH Oh this sucks! PRL being put in the Sharpshooter by a midget! OH GOD! COLE It’s happening right now right before your very eyes! The HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions are in control! D*LUX come back and break up the submission holds! "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant beats on Colombian Heat, while "Showtime" Shayne Brave takes on Spanish Fly! COLE Now D*LUX are back! Tyler takes Colombian Heat over to a turnbuckle corner and beats on him. Shayne does the same with Spanish Fly. COLE We’ve got a real donnybrook going on in the ring! Colombian Heat and Tyler battle it out in one corner. Shayne takes it to Fly in another corner. PR and Popick have left the ring. COLE This is a wild mess out here! We’ve got teams fighting left and right! It’s hard to tell what’s going on! COACH Get security out here! Tell them to stop this! COLE I don’t think security will do any good. There’s just too many things going on at once! COACH Lousy security. D*LUX and Heat/Fly continue fighting it out. UNTIL, PRL shows up and hits Shayne Brave in the back of the head with his spray-painted briefcase! COLE Oh! What a shot! COACH Yes! Here comes PR and Popick to save us! Puerto Rican hits Shayne Brave in his back with the black spray-painted briefcase several times! As he does this, Popick beats on Tyler Bryant. Popick grabs Bryant by his right arm, and then whips him towards Tha Puerto Rican-- *WHAM!* --WHO SLAMS THE BRIEFCASE ACROSS TYLER’S HEAD! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE PRL and Popick have knocked out D*LUX! COACH After this, their names should be D*SUX, am I right? COLE Shut up, Coach. Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly watched all of this. After D*LUX get knocked out, Colombian Heat charges forward, right into a briefcase shot to the gut by Tha Puerto Rican! Afterwards, KICK WHAM CORPORATE NIGHTMARE! COLE Oh my! The Corporate Nightmare! PRL has just given Colombian Heat the Corporate Nightmare! COACH Ooh! That’s gotta hurt! HA! HA! Colombian Heat lies on the mat, unconscious. Meanwhile, Stephen Joseph Popick grabs Spanish Fly in a Full Nelson on the second turnbuckle. Popick jumps off the second rope, pulling Spanish Fly over in a Full Nelson Suplex, but then shifts his body weight so that he lands on his ass to give Fly the Stone Cold Stunner! COLE Finality! Finality from Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH Oh yeah! Way to go, Popick! Way to show those scrubs whose boss! COLE Colombian Heat is down! Spanish Fly is down! "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant is down! "Showtime" Shayne Brave is down! COACH And look who are the last men standing, your next HI-YAH Tag Team Champions, Stephen Joseph Popick and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican! PRL does the McMahon SNEER~! and poses in the ring. Popick laughs manically. PRL smiles evilly. The crowd boos the loudest they’ve been all match, pissed off over what PRL and Popick have just done. PRL laughs manically himself. The camera cuts to a close-up of Heat, Fly, Tyler, and Shayne still knocked out thanks to P.R./Popick. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick have left their opponents for this Sunday laying! What is going to be the end result of all of this? COACH The crowning of new HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, HELLO!? COLE PR and Popick are in control now, but will they be in control this Sunday? COACH Why do you keep asking questions? OF COURSE THEY WILL BE! GOD! Sometimes, you can be a real pain in the neck sometimes, you know that? COLE As long as it makes you miserable, my mission is accomplished. PRL and Popick look at the damage they’ve left. They high five each other. The crowd boos loudly. "Know Your Role ’99" starts playing. The camera shows numerous close-ups of all the victims. PRL takes his black spray-painted briefcase, and leaves the ring with Popick, who holds the ropes for him to exit. Popick puts his left arm around PRL’s shoulders and tells him what a great job he did, while PRL just nods and smiles a wide evil smile on his face. COLE Well, Spanish Fly got the victory, but it is PRL AND Popick who are left standing! And it can be argued that they have the momentum going into Anglepalooza this Sunday! COACH They DO have the momentum going into Anglepalooza this Sunday! The match, and the belts, are theirs for the taking! If you ask me, you will see new HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions this Sunday. COLE Well, nobody asked you, Coach. COACH Bite me, Cole! COLE Let’s take a look at the replays for this match. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to highlights from this match starting with the double 6-1-9. COACH Okay. So, Fly struck big with that double 6-1-9, I’ll admit that was pretty cool. But then, Spanish Fly went for the Fly Swatter, and missed. This led to PRL getting hit with The Merry Tyler Gore Show, but luckily, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but luckily Spanish Fly saved him. Then the little booger had to escape from the Corporate Nightmare, which led to PRL getting backdropped OVER the top rope to the floor. The poor guy. Spanish Fly did a springboard hurricarana from the second rope. 1-2-3. Spanish Fly wins. But PR and Popick get the last laugh! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. PRL and Popick are walking up the entrance ramp, with PRL holding his briefcase with his left hand as "Know Your Role ’99" continues playing. The crowd boos. Stephen Joseph Popick and P.R.L. laugh evilly and gloat over what they did. Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, and D*LUX are still knocked out in the ring. COLE Indeed, they did. PRL and Stephen Joseph have left their Anglepalooza opponents, including the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, laying. COACH So much for being ’great’ Champions. This gets an A + on the ass-kicking scale if I do say so myself. COLE PRL and Popick may have gotten the last word tonight, but will they be able to get the last word AND the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles this Sunday night? It’s going to be one hell of a match! Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick vs. D*LUX vs. the Champions Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly. Will P.R. and Popick get back the Titles they say belong to them? Will D*LUX get some revenge by winning the Titles that they had STOLEN from them at November Reign? Will it be a short title reign for Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly? All three teams have held the belts, and all three teams want to walk out of Anglepalooza as the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions! PRL raises his hands on the entrance ramp. Popick is already on the entrance stage. He applauds PRL. The crowd boos. COLE Fans, thanks for tuning in tonight on the last HeldDOWN~! before Anglepalooza! We hope you’ve enjoyed all this exciting OAOAST action! We are now just 72 hours away from the start of The Road to AngleMania! The Lethal Rumble Match is this Sunday! Zack Malibu vs. Bruce Career vs. Career is this Sunday! Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles is this Sunday! All this and much, much more this Sunday at Anglepalooza! For Jonathan Coachman, I’m Michael Cole, saying so long and we’ll see you this Sunday for Anglepalooza. SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! BUY! BUY! BUY! ORDER NOW! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick laugh manically. PRL raises his black spray-painted briefcase over his head one more time, and then leaves through the sliding doors. The crowd boos. The camera does close-ups of Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, "Showtime" Shayne Brave, and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant all unconscious. The last image we see is of both members of D*LUX, Spanish Fly, and Colombian Heat all lying on the mat knocked out as "Know Your Role ’99" continues playing. Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, and "Showtime" Shayne Brave start moving their arms and legs as the credits roll and we fade out.FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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