Chanel #99 Posted November 23, 2015 Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES--TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK--THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD AND 3D HeldDOWN opens at Sofa Central with its festive Thanksgiving themeRENEEWe're only a few days from Thanksgiving and November Reign!COACHCan we eat this food yet?RENEECoach, its all plastic.COACHFuck is your point?RENEEFuck is your point?!***Eggther Vs Outlaw Cello***RENEEEggther is the BUSTLE junior heavyweight champion, but Outlaw Cello is a giant among criminals.COACHAnd a former pit fighting champion, so don't fuck with him.Eggther pulled a Timmy Cash and offered a hand shake, but got tobacco spat at him by Cello.EGGTHERThat was rude, but okay.Eggther wanted a lockup, which would have disadvantaged him size wise. But Cello wanted to brawl and started throwing punches. Using some skills learned in Japan, Eggther fried off deadly kicks and clobbered Cello with a forearms. The last of which pushed Cello to the ropes, but when he came back he hammered his foe with a big boot for a two count. Cello then shot Eggther into the ropes and rocked him with a bullhammer elbow!RENEEMurder of a Green Horn!COACHEggther better get a yellow streak and one.Referee Brian Knobbs got a two count, which enraged Cello, so much so that he shoved the nasty boy against the corner. Eggther came flying in with a splash that casued Cello to crash into Knobbs. Not concerned about the referee, the two men kept fighting. When Eggther missed a lionsault Cello went for his Six String Backbreaker but Eggther flipped out and then victory rolled him for a close count from the recovering referee. When Cello rolled upright, Eggther hit paydirt with a running superkick!RENEEBride Pice! That should do it.And it did as Eggther got the one two three.Winner: Eggther, via pinfallBut all was not well for the inhuman, as BOHEMOTH entered the ring and bashed him in the back of the head with a steel chair! Even worse, The Man hit Eggther with a Betrayl (swinging rock bottom) onto that same chair.BOHEMOTHStrike over!COACHRemember that yellow streak I talked about? Eggther better get it soon, because The Man is pissed!Angel Maguire is walking backstage, keeping her head on a swivel considering the ever present danger that follows her. Perhaps that's why she can tell someone is stalkingANGELYou're doing a lousy job of tracking me.From out of the shadows steps a powerful Asian man complete with skull tattoos.MANWho said I'm tracking you?The man bares vampire fangs, which shocks Angel but not so much that she can't cast a cloaking spell on herself to go invisible. We can only assume she's run off as the man stares about in a rage tinged confusion.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 Backstage, THE PARTY BRIGADE (w/ Amberlyn Duncan) and "The King of Bronies" DAISUKE MOTOZAKI joined OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood at the world famous interview lounge. Among the topics was the 10 man elimination tag match recently signed for November Reign involving TPB, Dice-M (still selling the effects of being put through a table last week) and Hood Again, collectively the HOOD BRIGADE vs. SLAUGHTERHOUSE. In addition, SJU announced the first match signed for the 2016 OAOAST New Year's Spectacular: Dice-M vs. Deuce Deuce Bigelow in a TABLE'S MATCH!*** Keyboard Warriors (Techie The Trekkie & The GOAT) vs. Hood Again w/ Uncle Moe ***Given everything that's gone down the last few weeks, Hood Again came out looking to make a statement delivering a beat down of epic proportions, treating their match like a street fight than a regular contest. An Isolated Incident put away Techie, then Hood Again beat down the GOAT some more. Even Uncle Moe got a few licks in with his trusty pimp cane. Winners: Hood Again, via pinfall.After the match Hood Again cut a promo on Slaughterhouse, promising to carve them up like the turkeys at November Reign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 Inside the state of the art intwrview set with its many many screens, Josh Matthews stands with Leezus Price, Logan Mann.MATTHEWSLogan Mann, you lead the team of King Landon Maddix, Bohemoth, Northstar, and Outlaw Cello into November Reign against Krista Isadora Duncan's team of herself, Teddy Buckworth, Eggther, Simon Singleton. And Shayne Brave at November Reign.LOGANThis isn't a team. This is Mann U! Men United under Logan Mann, the unifier of the truth against the lies told again and again and again by those who don't want to see the way the world survives on the biggest level there is.MATTHEWSI don't know how to follow that up.LOGANThe truth is, the truth is, are you ready for the truth?MATTHEWSYes.LOGANAre you ready now?!MATTHEWSYes.LOGANThe truth is Jesus was bigger than man, The Beatles were bigger than Jesus, and Mann U is bigger than the Beatles, so Mann U is bigger than everything including Krista Isadora Duncan!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 Backstage, OAOAST U.S. Champion OSCAR FRIBERG is with OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood, as is his fellow Team SCREAM partners JO-JO WHOA and BTK. We learn they'll team with Big IQ at November Reign against Tyler Bryant, THE FLEX, OAOAST tag champions the Christ Air Express and a partner to be named in a elimination tag match. Oscar said they've heard the rumors about Tyler and company's mystery partner, ranging from former SWF competitors to guys in BUSTLE and ARRIBA. "Or it could all just be a mind game and it's really a OAOAST Superstar. Whatever the case, we'll be ready."Then SJU addressed the elephant in the room: the situation with Team SCREAM member Blaine Cayley and his sister Samantha.Surprisingly levelheaded was Oscar, calling it a personal matter only Blaine and Samantha can handle, although noted how confused Tanner Neptune is about the whole situation. OSCARWhat am I supposed to do -- place them in time out? They're both adults. But is it a distraction? Of course! Being bombarded with questions about something that sounds like an SNL skit instead of what's going on in the ring sucks. But I'm completely focused on leading my team to victory at November Reign and defending my United States Championship against all comers, especially you Tyler Bryant, you little weasel.SJU concluded the interview by saying next week she hopes to have the first live interview with Blaine and Samantha since "you know..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 Backstage in Colin's dressing room we find the world champion in conversation with Ivar.IVARAre you sure you wish to defend your world title at November Reign. No one would fault you for bowing out.COLINThat is rich. A viking warlord asking me if I want to bow out a fight.IVARI had to ask.Suddenly, Angel bursts into the room, while shattering her cloaking spell immediately.IVARAngel, why were you cloaked?ANGELA man came after me. No a vampire. A huge Asian vampire with skull tattoos, like Deuce, but much worse.IVARDid you say skull tattoos?ANGELYes.COLINI assume this could be someone you're familiar with.IVARMeng Wen, a former associate of Ghengis Khan.ANGELWhat?!IVARBetter known as The Red Sorrow. Now a well paid and very successful contract killer. Angel, cloak yourself and Colin.COLINI will not run from a fight.IVARWill you risk your mother's life?COLINDamn it. Damn it.IVARGo. Now.COLINWhat will you do?IVARIt won't be long before Meng Win realizes you've left. But should he remain....I will kill him. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 *** Marc Bennett vs. Deuce Deuce Bigelow ***Total squash with Deuce winning in dominate fashion with his DEEP FRYER sit-out shoulder piledriver.Winner: Deuce Deuce Bigelow, via pinfall.After the match Deuce attempted to put Bennett through a table just like he did to Dice-M one week ago, but the King of Bronies wouldn't have any of it, running out to chase the Slaughterhouse leader away.The Sunrise offices are our scene with Megan Skye typing on her iMac, when Sunray Bobbi walks in with a wide smile on her face.BOBBIMegan, hey, glad to see ya!MEGANWell thanks. That's nicer than the greeting Yuki gave me after she found out we weren't charging for complimentary mints. How exactly does she expect people to pull half a cent out their pocket?BOBBIMegan, Megan, you're so super smart its crazy. And you're such an awesome wrestler to boot!MEGANYou're buttering me up but I don't understamd what for.BOBBII just need a tiny teensy weensy favor from you.MEGANAll you have to do is ask?BOBBICoolness. So you're gonna replace Annagret for Sunrise at November Reign.MEGANI am. I am?! What?!BOBBIYeah, that's right! You're gonna do it! It would make me much happier in life, and Maya sure would appreciate it. Maya more than anyone!MEGANAre you sure? Annagret is Maya's best friend.Bobbi's tanned complexion sinks into a deep red.MEGANDid...I....say something....wrong?BOBBIAnnagret is Maya's best friend! Freaking right you said something wrong!MEGANFreaking right?BOBBIAnnagret is Maya's best friend? You're a major d-bag! A major d-bag of the maternal order of major d-bags!Bobbi can suffer no more of this nonsense and runs off in tears.MEGANUm, what was that about?BOBBI (OS)Its about me being Maya's best friend! D-bag! Major d-bag!MEGANThanks for clearing that up.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 24/7 Champion Nathaniel Black is walking through the halls of the arena, when he passes by The Kings of the Heap. Of course they have to comment on his presnece.RAYDERAy, a lonely boy all alone.SCOURGEAll alone.Black doesn't stop, so naturally The Kings decide to follow him with their taunts.RAYDERPoor lonely boy.SCOURGEPoor, poor, lonely boy.Black keeps walking and The Kings keep following.RAYDERWhere are all ye mates, lonely boy?SCOURGEYe know he dinnae 'ave any.RAYDERHe wants to stay a lonely boy.Black has had more than enough of these words, and rounds upon his former friends.BLACKI'd ravver die alone than 'ave yer for chinas RAYDERWhat do ye know now? He speaks.SCOURGEHeh.BLACKIf yer blokes 'ave any stones meet me for me 24/7 title at November Reign. RAYDERAy, I think that's a right sterling idea, lad.SCOURGEAy, it tis it it tis.BLACKGood. We'll spot how chinaship works wen there's glory ter be won.Black brushes past The Kings as they gaze on with their usual callow grins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 We're inside Sophie Grey's office where Sophie is doing her best to maintain an air of calm and joyful presence in these trying times. Present with her are the women's tag champs, The Sisterhood of the Rich and Famous and Men-U-Pause.SOPHIEBonjour mademoiselles.GRETCHENAh, French! Too hear such a cultured language spoken amdist the presence of heathens...this is truly a miraculous tonic.SOPHIE'ow are you all?HOLLYWhat the (beep) do you care? If I gotta spend more than a minute with the Spice Girls I'm gonna lose my shit.MALAYSIANasty.PIERETTEYou're not into that sort of thing, cuzzzzzzzo? We're cousins, in case any didn't know.HOLLYEveryone knows that, dumb shit.GRETCHENHold your words, knave. There exists only one woman who may belittle my buffoonish cretin of a partner and that woman is I.SOPHIEAssez! I 'av ow you say called you together to inform you of a Hottie survivor series match added to November Reign. You will each command teams of Hotties you pick. I 'hope you can have a great match.HOLLYThe only great match I can think of his paring my boots with Gretchen's ass.GRETCHENWhereas the lone great match I can think of involves matching your size for prison fatigues as your very existence is a brutal assault upon common decency.Pierette senses that things are going well south and leads Gretchen away even as she and Holly have a stare down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~!: Last Week -- Big IQ confront the CAE wanting to know when they'll agree to put tag titles on the line, get attacked by The Warthog and Big Boy of Slaughterhouse.As result, the OAOAST Galaxy is treated to a tag this week!*** Big Boy & The Warthog w/ CAM vs. Big IQ ***Big IQ came out guns blazing seeking payback for what went down a week ago. The Warthog and Big Boy were eager to give back, snatching control of the match when OAOAST tag team champions THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS decided to chillax in the front row with popcorn and drinks confiscated from the very fans whose seats they took!RENEECome on! Those fans paid their good hard earned money for those seats!COACHI'd say they got their money's worth. What a story they'll have to tell their friends at the water cooler tomorrow morning at work!The Warthog and Big Boy would dominate CW for the next several minutes in and out of the ring. The CAE even got in on the action pelting CW with popcorn. But they along with Slaughterhouse learned you can't keep a good man down, or stump a man with a high IQ for long, because CW fought back to eventually tag the fresh Ice Quiz. The self-proclaimed King of Hip Hop coming in a house afire, decking the Warthog with a big boot and then back dropping Big Boy over the top to the floor before performing a SUICIDE DIVE THAT KNOCKS THE BOTH OF THEM INTO THE FRONT ROW AND ONTO THE CAE!!!COACHDAYUM~!Big IQ high fives guys and gals nearby and then dumps Big Boy back over the security barrier, but the CAE decide to get involved as BB rolls inside, diverting the ref's attention as the CAE pummel Ice Quiz and bash him over the head with a chair! Winners: The Warthog and Big Boy, via count out.Post-match the CAE target CW whose remained down the entire time after tagging out, still too drain after the punishment he received. They toss him inside so BB and Warthog can go to work. RENEEIt's 4 against 1! COACHJust like it could be at November Reign!BB and Warthog are about to put CW through the MEAT GRINDER when HOOD AGAIN storm the ring and get them some of Slaughterhouse until CAM gets his boys to bail. RENEEImagine what it's gonna be like when the Hood Brigade faces Slaughterhouse at November Reign!COACHOr when the CAE team with Tyler Bryant, THE FLEX and a mystery partner against U.S. Champion Oscar Friberg, Jo-Jo Whoa, BTK and Big IQ!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted November 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 Inside the ring stands Lyric DeLacey beside Sara Jean Underwood. And right behind them both is the cast of TMW: Revolution.SARA JEANWelcome to the Magical Miracle Lyrical Challenge. Lyric DeLacey will be snacking on each TMW competitior and who ever can last the longest under her bite is the winner of this first ever challenge! Lyric, are you excited?LYRIC(sarcastic)I can hardly contain my sheer joy.SARA JEANThat's the spirit. Turbowolf, you're up first. Good luck.TURBOWOLFNah.SARA JEANNah? What does that mean?TURBOWOLFI ain't doing it.SARA JEANYou're not doing it? Why not?TURBOWOLFI'm a werewolf, I ain't gonna let some vamper sink their teeth into me.LYRICAll the same to me, Scrappy Doo.SARA JEANCome on, Turbo, you don't want to let Big IQ down.TURBOWOLFMan, I don't care about them?“BBBBBBOOOOOOOOO!”SARA JEANOkay, then. Pete, good luck.PETEMe?SARA JEANDon't tell me you're gonna back out also.LYRICThis is going as great as I thought it would.PETEI don't know about this. Biting happens on the playground and I'm cool with that...SARA JEANWhaaaaa?TURBOWOLFMan, just do it.JESSEYou're one to talk.COCOThis is pointless.LYRICFinally, someone says something smart.PETEYou know what, I'll do it. Hit me with your best shot!Lyric doesn't hit Pete, she knicks him and he taps out immediately.SARA JEANThat wasn't even a second, Pete.PETE SARA JEANThat's two down, I guess. Bedrock, are you up to the challenge?Bedrock steps forward with drool pouring out of his lips. More spit comes when he opens his mouth to a wide hole.LYRICSlow down there, Pebbles, I bite you.Lyric is on Bedrock and sinks her teeth into his flesh. Blood sips out of Bedrock's wounds, but he holds on and holds on. Finally he has had enough and taps out.SARA JEANSix seconds for Bedrock! Agent Augeur can you beat that?AGENT AUGEURBeat? No one wins anything around here.LYRICGreat, one of those guys.Lyric's teeth go into Agent, who's time falls short of Bedrock as he taps out.SARA JEANFour seconds. Someone will win, but it ain't gonna be the Agent. Sgt.Holt, its go time!Sgt.Holt starts psyching himself up, but midway through Lyric pounces on him and delivers a crushing bite. Unprepared, Holt taps out almost as soon as Pete.SARA JEANOne second! Better than Pete, though.PETEDon't need to rub it in, unless what you're rubbing is sunscreen on your daughter's bare back.SARA JEANI don't have kids.PETEIt'd be much cooler if you did.SARA JEANUhhh, moving on, Conan ChanelLYRICAt least this one will smell good.Conan bares his neck, and Lyric takes a healthy and eager bite of the handsome man's flesh. Many women wish they were in his position, but its a position that comes to an end as Coco gives up.SARA JEANNine seconds, not bad, Coco.COCOI don't need your encouragement.LYRICAnd they say I have a bad attitude.SARA JEANJesse F, are you ready?JESSEI'M PUMPED! BRING IT! BRING IT! BRING IIITTTTT! But first I'd like to monologue.LYRICNot gonna happen.Lyric is in control and snaps her teeth into Jesse's neck. He's better than Pete and Holt, but not quite good enough and soon taps out.SARA JEANThree seconds. Gory, you have to beat Conan's time of ten seconds to win the challenge.GORYWow, how am I gonna do that? Okay, I'll just take my best shot. Give it the old college try, if colleges would let in people who murdered their family save their pesky sister. I thought those sorts of things were erased from your record after a certain age.LYRICDidn't I say no monolouging?Lyric makes her last bite of the evening and digs her teeth into Gory, who strangely looks nonpulsed by it all.And he keeps looking that way as Lyric continues to bite him.And on and on he looks, well past Conan's ten second mark.LYRICWhat the fuck is going on? You should be in the process of dying, which I think we'd all welcome.TURBOWOLFSure would.GORYCan't tell ya. Trade secret. Oh alright, sense you keep pestering me I'll spill the beans. I'm used my parasititc witch powers to siphon your healing properties to continually heal me as you bit me. I'm kind of a genius that way.LYRICYou're kind of a cheater that way.GORYThis might end like the last family game of Pictonary, where I should the knife in my dad's right eye socket. Or was it the left. My memory is going in my old age, its such a shame.SARA JEANOkay, okay, you win! The winner of the challenge is Gory Cross!“BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOO!” the audience hisses none to happy with Gory's victory.GORYDo I get a trophy?TURBOWOLFWhat you get is to the clear the fuck on outta here? You're starting to piss me off.GORYThey say true geniuses are never appreciated until after their time. So I'll take a bow, and head out knowing that you seven losers have no chance in hell of winning this whole competition. Peace!The rest of the group grumble their resentment and in some cases crack their knuckles and pound their fists over Gory's words.RENEEThat was an unexpected turn! Who knew Gory could do that?COACHI thought letting Pete into the competition was bad, but Gory is a murderer with powers no one understands. Dangerous times.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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