Chanel #99 Posted October 19, 2015 Report Share Posted October 19, 2015 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES--TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK--THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD AND 3DThe new HD theme:RENEEHello and welcome to the hottest show you'll ever see, OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I am Renee Young, hanging out with Da Coach.COACHWhat's good, OAOAST Galaxy?RENEEWe're just over a week away from Halloween Spectacular so let's see what tricks and treats are in store for us tonight!***Miss Anderson Cup Sable Conference: Sisterhood of the Rich and Famous Vs Dasha and Sunshine Yukino***Dasha looked over Gretchen with appraising eyes to start the affair.DASHAThis girl, she the one with liking of the ass to the mouth.GRETCHENSurely, you do not mean me.DASHAMy name is Dasha not Shirley. But I am meaning of you.GRETCHENI engage in all noble pursuits. Violin, chess, horseback riding, but in no way do I ever participate in this “ass to mouth” you all accuse me of! In fact such base slander riles me beyond belief!And that set of Gretchen attacking Dasha, which was the pairing to start the match. Gretchen was so incensed that she ended up nearly costing herself the match when Dasha kept getting quick rollups on her.RENEEThis is kind of sad. Why can't Gretchen just admit what she likes? Everyone else in the OAOAST does.Sunshine Yukino and Dasha took turns working over Gretchen's arm, which was meant to make it hard to hit her fisherman's gordbuster hold. Luckily for Gretchen, Pierette interjected herself in the match with a blind tag. But she was too slowed down by her foes.RENEEWow, it would be a pretty big upset if Dasha and Yuki beat the tag champs to get to the conference finals against Fire & Ice.Dasha tried to hit Big Funtime but got avoided by Pierette, who made a hot tag to Gretchen. That created a race to the finish that was won when Gretchen hit Just Charge It (fisherman's gordbuster), sore arm and all on Yuki for the win.Winner: Sisterhood of the Rich and Famous, via pinfallRENEESo its booked! The Sable Conference finals are going to be Fire & Ice against The Sisterhood.COACHWhew, that's a hell of a match!Post-match, Sara Jean caught up with the conquering tag team champions.SARA JEANCongrats you two, you're on your way to the conference finals. And Gretchen just a year out of high school and your competing for the Miss Anderson Cup. That's a pretty big deal.GRETCHENAlas I'm afraid your information as it pertains to me is incorrect. I must say I'm disappointed by what passes for journalism these days. A bit of research shows I skipped over high school, and received my high school diploma at the age of fifteen, further buoyed by my bachelor's degree from Columbia, obtained but six months ago.SARA JEANYou skipped over high school? You missed so many things! Pierette!PIERETTEYou say my name so you must want me. Redheads are very in these days, but I'm a one woman gal and that woman is the monarch of analingus, Gretchen Wright.SARA JEANIn that case you need to give her some high school fun. Take her to a home coming!GRETCHENCertainly, I will attend a home coming. I assume the cheer of America's youth would put me in high spirits.SARA JEANYou are America's youth. But, glad you agree. And about this-GRETCHENIf you think for a moment that my idea of a pleasant evening is having a strange man lower himself, his meaty, hairy butt crack down to my thin tanned face, covering it in his fleshy buttocks and his dangling testicles, where I open my mouth and shoot out my tongue, immediately tasting the sick, sweet flavor of the male orifice you are sorely mistaken!Gretchen storms off in a hurry, looking quite flustered.PIERETTEThe lady doth protest too much!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2015 TO THE BACK~!, where OAOAST U.S. Champion Oscar Friberg scolds Blaine Cayley and Tanner Neptune for their actions last week.BLAINEI understand, Your Holiness. Forgive me of my sins. Oscar frowns.TANNERIf you ask me, Blaine handled himself rather professionally, you know, given the circumstances. JO-JOAnd you?TANNER Jo-Jo, whoa! It's like Blaine's explained to the group a million times since last week. My hands were sweaty! Which caused the belt to go flying into Gloss's face instead of out of the ring as was my intention! BLAINEAnd the whole yanking Oscar outside thing, I didn't want to risk him getting Tanner DQ'd.OSCARJust remember Team SCREAM marches straight ahead. No short cuts because--BLAINEShort cuts take you down a crooked path. Yeah, yeah. We hear you.OSCARBlindsides and cricket bats isn't exactly marching straight ahead. TANNERHey, we're the good guys. Have been, always will be. Now that we've got all that settled, let's go win us some gold! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2015 ***24/7 Title: Nathaniel Black Vs Joey The Rat W/VICE***VICE started throwing plunder in the ring to distract Black and give Joey some tools to use. Joey went right for a basketball hoop, but was caught and German Suplexed by Black!RENEETalk about a backfire.Joey got a fire extinguisher and used it against Black. With Black blinded, The Rat nailed him with a single underhook DDT!RENEEDeal of the Day!Rather than go for a pin, Joey beat on Black with an electrical cord. But after a while Black shrugged off the blows and started beating on his foe. VICE decided to get involved but get taken out by chairshots from Black. Joey himself was clobbered by a Black Lariat and suffered a loss due to that.Winner: Nathaniel Black, via pinfallCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2015 As we return from break we find The All XFL Team, attired in their black and purple tracksuits stood in the ring. At the forefront is The XFL, who holds not only a microphone but Colin's world title.THE XFLLemme tell ya'll why I'm here. I'm here to right a wrong, like when Lebron went back to Cleveland and made up with my good friend Dan Gilbert.RENEEHe's friends with Dan Gilbert? Strange bedfellows.THE XFLRight here I got the OAOAST world heavyweight title. Last week I swiped that shit like Chuckie swipes from the collection plate.MOSS:oTHE XFLKidding, Chuck. But I took that shit back because bottom line this is The Young Wolf's prize. It ain't some psychotic vampire's clothing accessory. Its my symbol. My symbol that I'm the best since Ali. The realest since Joe Louis. The best in this shit you'll ever see!“X-F-FAIL! X-F-FAIL! X-F-FAIL!”THE XFLBut, I ain't one of them delusional suckers that hang out in the OAOAST. Possession ain't nine tenths of a championship law. You look at OAOAST.com, you'll see Colin listed as the world champion. So I'ma tell you what, Junior, I'm gonna compromise with you, playboy. You give me my title rematch at Halloween Spectacular and I'll let you hold this belt for a few more weeks. You can't lose. That is until you do. Heh."THE DAY IS MY ENEMY! THE NIGHT MY FRIEND!"“YYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAA!”Stepping onto the stage, wearing jeans and his trademark green hoodie is Colin Maguire Junior, who offers a disdainful look to The XFL.COLINIts impossible to believe you could be so stupid.THE XFLWhat'd you say?COLINI had believed you were the mastermind behind a stable of poorly schooled lackeys, instead you're the blind man leading the fellow blind men, who happen to all be idiots.GOLDENBastard!COLINYou think to compromise with me? As if I would stoop the level of a gaudy imbecile and give in to your demands.THE XFLBoy, if you want this belt back you gonna do as I say.COLINThere you are again, making demands upon a superior life form. If you do not want me to remove your head from your neck then you would be wise to deliver me my world title.HEYROSSColin, if I may.COLINWhy not. Give your man time to contemplate the inevitably of his death.HEYROSSWhy not continue to prove yourself as the dominate athlete that everyone is starting to believe you are? If you beat The XFL twice, two times in a row, handing him his first defeat in two years already, then handing him consecutive defeats, what would everyone hail you as? A legend greater than what they thought you were.You know I'm bringing bombasticI'm feeling fucking fantasticTurn up the music yeah blast itYou know I'm playing like, no more Mr. Nice GuyYou know I'm bringing bombasticI'm feeling fucking fantasticTurn up the music yeah blast itYou know I'm playing like, no more Mr. Nice GuyI'm coming for you“YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”The playing of “Bombastic” brings out Alix Maria Spezia, clad in a jean skirt and a white and red striped polo shirt.ALIXGood nom-nom-noming!COLINAnd what do you want?ALIXWhere's your mom?COLINI will not discuss my mom with you!ALIXMy hearts not just thumping thinking about her luscious body and huge knockers, its thumping all sporadically like badump, thump, thump, badump! Pretty crazy shit, huh.THE XFLNo.ALIXWell the millions and millions of The Rock's fans disagree so suck it and rest and piece.THE XFLYo, why don't you get out of here? I was trying to lay down the law on this vampire.ALIXI gotta comment on that, it sounded like you were about to be killed then your sugar daddy saved your ass.“YYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”THE XFLOh you think that's it?COLINThis is a reasonable summary of what just transpired. But I am curious as to why you have joined us, Alix? We were just about to conclude or tete-a-tete and yet you've made your presence known. I would know why.ALIXDo you kiss your mother with such a fancy mouth. No really do you kiss her?COLINEnough talk about my mother!ALIXFine, fine. So if you're just handing out title shots the way Krista hands out punches to the nutsack, I'm just thinking maybe you can toss me in at Halloween Spectacular\ and make it a triple threat, and a double threat to my Halloween virgnity. Never had sex on that night, I'm saving myself for marriage to Shaq.COLINA fair request. Our match last week held no conclusion. Though I have my own change of what you all were thinking would happen at Halloween Spectacular. It shall be myself, The Xavier Franklin Long and Alix Maria Spezia in a match for my world title. Yet it will be no triple threat, it will be a fatal fourway with my good friend and sire Ivar The Cunning as the fourth member!“YYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”THE XFLThat's cool, that's cool! I'll beat all ya'll asses! Human, vampire, whatever! You're all the feast for The Young Wolf!ALIXWill your mom be there? Will she be wearing panties? Will she be in costume? Will her costume be Power Girl with the boob window? Can she breast feed you during the show? These are the real questions.COLINI've had enough. I suggest you all prepare yourself for the onslaught that is to come at Halloween Spectacular.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2015 OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~!: Slaughterhouse defeat the 3 Amigos to become OAOAST 6-man tag team champions.Back LIVE! at the world famous interview lounge, OAOAST Hall of Famer/correspondent Terry Taylor is joined by SLAUGHTERHOUSE. Still in a celebratory mood, group leader DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOW declares his stable the best tag team in the OAOAST.WARTHOGAny combination! SONICNow everybody can forget about our performance in The Challenge 'cause look who holds championship gold!WARTHOGOur performance? You mean your performance.SONICWell, yeah, but that's a moot point now. We're champs!The rest of Slaughterhouse shoot Sonic a look that indicates he's not all the way out of the dog house following his performance in The Challenge. But talk soon turns to the group's first title defense later this evening against Team SCREAM's Blaine Cayley, Tanner Neptune and OAOAST U.S. Champion Oscar Friberg. WARTHOGDo they even like each anymore?SLAUGHTERHOUSEDEUCEIt's gonna be like taking candy from a baby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2015 *** OAOAST 6-Man Tag Title Match: OAOAST U.S. Champion Oscar Friberg, Tanner Neptune & Blaine Cayley w/ Samantha Cayley vs. Slaughterhouse © w/ C.A.M. ***Two of the top fractions in the OAOAST collided in a fast paced affair that captivated the OAOAST Galaxy. But just as it seemed Team SCREAM were on the verge of becoming the new titleholders after Tanner Neptune hit Sonic with Too Tan To Fail... SPENCER REIGER rushed in and, with the official occupied trying to breakup a brawl among the other participants, spiked Tanner with the REIGER COUNTER!!COACHYou can bank on that being payback for what happened last week between Neptune and Gloss.As Spencer exited, he found himself with the perfect opportunity to nail Blaine with a cheap shot, balling his fist until a familiar voiced begged...SAMMISpencer! Don't! Spencer paused, turning to find his ex-girlfriend Samantha behind him. The two stared into each other's eyes without saying a single word, as though time stood still. At least until Sammi SLAPPED Spencer!SPENCERRENEEIt looks like Sammi hasn't forgotten about last week either.COACHNeither can I!If that wasn't bad enough, Spencer gets cold-clocked by Blaine!RENEECome on!The Cayleys crack a smile, then retreat backstage as Sonic covers Tanner for the 1-2-3.Winners: Slaughterhouse, via pinfall. After the match Slaughterhouse's celebration was cut short when THE PARTY BRIGADE and DAISUKE MOTOZAKI showed up. OAOAST officials stormed the ring to keep the piece but the message was clear: TPB and Dice-M want a title shot!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2015 PRESS CONFERENCEOAOAST HQMALIBU, CAThere was a press conference conducted at OAOAST HQ for the women's title match between Maggie Nerdly and Bobbi Cheesecake at Halloween Spectacular.REPORTER ONEBobbi, is this title match at Halloween Spectacular the biggest of your reign?BOBBIIts mega huge for me. I'm going from my first double penetration to my first title defense at Halloween Spectacular and that's gigantic! Gigantic penises and gigantic matches, that's what I'm about. And, you know what, I face all challenges and all challengers head on, and I have to say I'm mega stoked for this title defense.****REPORTER TWOMaggie, what does it mean to become a four time women's champion?MAGGIEIt means you won't forget about me like you always do. And thanks for asking me a question, I appreciate you patronizing me. Ass. ****REPORTER THREEWhat strategies are you going to employ heading into this match, Bobbi?BOBBIUh-uh, you won't get me to reveal my tricks that easily. I'm a pretty smart beaver! But I'll toss ya a bone and say I've been working with my fellow Sunray and my best friend in the whole wide world, Maya, and she's taught me things I can only dream of. In the ring, in the bedroom, even in the bathroom of a Burger King. That Mexican lady nearly had a heart attack when she us making out!****REPORTER FOURMaggie, what members of The Menagerie will accompany you to the ring.MAGGIESilver. If you're gonna go all in, go all in with the best, right. And seeing that Leon is being a selfish dick and plotting his own schemes I gotta take the second best. Figures. Second hand love from my parents and a second rate maineventer to accompany me. What a shock.****REPORTER FIVEBobbi is your schedule as a Sunray going to leave you worn down for the title match.BOBBINo way! I'm the fiercest Sunray there is, and everyone who steps into my room knows it. My schedule is spanking ass, sucking dicks, and being the hottest whore in town. But does that leave me worn down for title defenses? Hahhahahaha! No sir-ee-bob! It gets me pumped up to beat the poop out of a client while he cums buckets then go out and beat the poop out of my title challengers. I'm Asscake, Bobbi Cheesecake, and I'm addicted to this and I wub it!****We flash forward to end of the press conference with Sophie standing between the two Hotties.SOPHIENow you may shake hands.MAGGIE***spits***BOBBIWell, Bobbi isn't taking that in stride and tackles Maggie to the ground!“OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!”SOPHIEArreter! Arreter!Sophie yells stop, but champion and challenger have no desire to cease tearing at one another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2015 BILL BLASKY ATTORNEY AT LAW, OFFICESThis is a Better Call Saul operation, and the lawyer himself looks like he's fresh out of jail. His office is decorated by an American flag, and pictures of our founding fathers. But most notable is that Logan Mann sits across from Mister Blasky's desk.LOGANIts last week, its today, its tomorrow, its every week I want to sue Krista for! I will have justice sent to my inbox and opened in an attachment of the truth!MISTER BLASKYHmmm. Walk me through last week.LOGANI was bringing the original sermon of Logan Mann to the masses, to the OAOAST Galaxy. I gave them the truth that needed to be said but never will get said because the corporate fat cats sit in their office occupying WallStreet and shuting down your mind. Then the fattest cat of them all, Krista Isadora Duncan, interrupts me.MISTER BLASKYHmmm. Go on.LOGANThreatened me.MISTER BLASKYThreatened you?LOGANThreatened me!MISTER BLASKYHmmmm. What else?LOGANAttacked me!MISTER BLASKYAttacked you?LOGANAttacked me!MISTER BLASKYHmmm. Anything else?LOGANBruised me!MISTER BLASKYDisgusting!LOGANDouble disgusting! And she's always been out for me. Since tight jeans came in she's never liked me. Hated on me wearing pink polos with a fucking back pack, but I brought rock n roll back, understand me! There's a hating ass bitch who has been being a hating ass bitch on me since Eve picked the apple. She's always targeted me, turned me into a red bullseye, and goes after me to humiliate me. And she does in front of my loving wife to try and ruin the sanctity of our marriage.MISTER BLASKYEmotional damages. Long term emotional damages.LOGANNow we soar up to heavens and send the law suit down like a lightening bolt!MISTER BLASKYYes indeed. We're going to sue Krista Isadora Duncan, we're going to sue the OAOAST, we're going to sue the board of directors, and we're going to sue Sophie Grey. And we're going to sue them for all they are worth.LOGANExcellent.***Sunny Conference Finals: Men-U-Pause Vs St.Archibald's School For The Bad Girls W/Archie ***Sabrina insisted on starting the match against Malaysia, which was greatly appealing to the dominatrix. As expected she overpowered Sabrina, and tangled her in all sorts of hold.MALAYSIADearest Archie, wouldn't you like to squeeze this girl's ass. Go on squeeze it.ARCHIEN..no! I musn't!MALAYSIAHeh, a weak man. I've been looking for a man to dominate for a while.Sabrina wouldn't let Malaysia get after Archie and attacked her with full force. After hitting Bitches be Tripping, she got the tag to Aisling.AISLING(in queen voice)Ho-ho, the weak man is my slave! You will only take him after I have drained him of soul, sperm and blood!ARCHIEMalaysia had trouble dealing with the demon-vampire hybrid, but Malaysia and Holly were able to overwhelm her with brawling offense. However, Aisling managed to kickout of the Percussion DDT which annoyed Holly. Holly tried for a second Percussion but Aisling reversed it into a northern lights DDT. This allowed Sabrina to get the tag. Problem is Sabrina isn't Aisling and fell in defeat soon enough to The Mirage/Winner: Men-U-Pause, via pinfallRENEEMen-U-Pause did it again! Four Miss Anderson Cups and four trips to the conference finals!COACHThat's right. The baddest bitches in town will be facing off against C02 in the Sunny Conference finals.RENEEFor everyone in the OAOAST, we'll see you next week!FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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