Chanel #99 Posted September 22, 2015 Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES--TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK--THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST HD AND 3DThe show opens not in the ring or with a fancy video package recapping Angleslam, but instead we view footage shot following the hottest event of the summer. Here we see HOOD AGAIN (draped in gold and carrying their winners trophies) walk to their stretch Hummer limo parked out back still in a celebratory mood after having passed The Challenge, earning them a second reign with the OAOAST tag titles and 500k. Greeted by their driver, Hood Again are met by a group of excited women who emerge from the limo.MOSESSpread that pussy, yo!KAWHI & MARCELLUSThe guys get inside with the girls and, as the limo drives off, we spot BLAINE CAYLEY slumped in the corner wallowing in self-pity while being consoled by his sister Samantha. At this point new OAOAST United States Champion OSCAR FRIBERG walks by carrying his bags and the title draped over his shoulder. Accompanied by Tanner Neptune, they spot Blaine and are taken aback by the demeanor of his fellow Team SCREAM'er.OSCARUm, are you guys ready to split or...?SAMMIYou go ahead. We'll call a cab. OSCAROkay. You guys have a good night.Oscar gets into his rental car and takes off.SAMMIDid he serious tell us to have a good night? Like, didn't he watch your match? This was so NOT a good night. And then to parade in front of us with the U.S. Title -- a title you never lost. Jerk. BLAINEI failed you.SAMMINo Blaine. You didn't fail me. Not on this night. But others did. And they'll pay. Double. I promise. RENEEHello and welcome to the hottest dramaedy in the world, OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I am Renee Young and right at my side is Da Coach, and we're just days past AngleSlam as we hit the fall season with a bang! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted September 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 (edited) Can't Stop ItCan't Stop“BBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!”With the boo birds singing their song of hatred, the entrance doors come apart and on the arrival is The All XFL Team and their reporting duo o All XFL Network. The guys sport All XFL Team basketball jerseys with Mathis' being XXXXL of all things.RENEEThere he is, guys, the brand new world champion, who won that title in the Elimination Chamber at AngleSlam.The squad steps into the ring with the champion ready to speak.THE XFLAwww shit now. Who ya'll looking at?“BBBBOOOOOOOO!”THE XFLWrong! Ya'll looking at The Young Wolf, Xavier Franklin Long!“BBBBOOOOOOOO!”THE XFLAnd what ya'll looking at?“A PUNK BITCH! A PUNK BITCH! A PUNK BITCH”GOLDENShut up before I stuff your assholes with a shotgun!THE XFLAin't no need to get hostile, Matty Gold. They know what they're looking at, the reigning TWO TIME CHAMPION OF THE WORLD AND THE OAOAST....THE YOUNG WOLF....THE XAVIER FRANKLIN LONG!“X-F-FAIL! X-F-FAIL! X-F-FAIL!”THE XFLYa'll dudes hearing that chant? Ya'l hearing this? They need to keep up with their wrestling don't they. Rhaenys tell em when is the last time I lost a match?RHAENYSYou haven't lost a match in nearly two years, Xavier.THE XFLAwww shit, you know that's the truth don't you. And it eats all ya'll up. It burns your soul slow! Its ether to your very core. You can't believe a young, swagnificent, handsome brother like me could stay stuning and shining for as long as I have. And yet here I am, king of the mountain, cock of the walk, two time world champion! Give it up!My niggas stack their money just to spend itCause when you die you cannot take it with youIf you ain't beefin' 'bout the money, then what's the problem?Don't worry about my niggas cause I got 'emMy niggas stack their money just to spend itCause when you die you cannot take it with youAnd if you ain't beefin' 'bout the money, then what's the problem?Don't worry about my niggas, Zoo I got 'em THE XFLMan, ain't no one trying hear no Fetty Wap. Play some Young Thug.MOSSSome Kirk Franklin! Give it up for the lord! Holla!THE XFL….Sure, yeah, play some gospel for Chuck.Stepping onto the stage while "RGF Island" by Fetty Wap plays, with a bottle of Effen vodak in one hand and the mic in the other is...SHAYNE BRAVE?!SHAYNE#TrapLord.THE XFLWhat?SHAYNE#TrapLord.SHAYNE#TrapLord.THE XFLWhat?SHAYNE#TrapLord.SHAYNE#TrapLord.THE XFLWhat?SHAYNE#TrapLord.THE XFLNigga, if you don't shut the fuck up-SHAYNEI was in my trap house watching the show.THE XFLYour what? Did you say you have a...trap house?SHAYNELike I said I was in my trap house watching sportscenter, dicing up that white girl to my people.THE XFLI swear to god, boy, don't you fucking test me...SHAYNEI'm in the kitchen and I'm not cooking dinner, but what I hear is a man who's getting high on product that's not mine.THE XFLMother fucker. Mother fucker. You ain't got no product! Don't interrupt my speech with your silly delusions!SHAYNEDon't step onto the front porch of my trap house with your silly delusions.THE XFLYo, yo, yo! Someone hold me back! Someone stop me from beating this nigga's ass!MOSSXavier, what would Jesus do?THE XFLFuck Jesus and fuck Shayne too!MOSSSHAYNEYou high off someone's else shit and I don't flow with that. Okay? If you were doing my shit, you'd be turnt up instead of in the ring making people turn off..the show that is. Heh.THE XFLI'm losing it! I'm fucking losing it!ALYSANNEI'm getting scared.RHAENYSQuit being a baby.Luckily Rick Heyross is a smooth operator and steps in to handle business for the fuming champion.HEYROSSYou, sir, are a very entertaining man. I am well aware of all that you have done in BUSTLE lately. Why, aren't you undefeated?SHAYNEIts true. You could say I'm married to the OAOAST with BUSTLE as my side piece.HEYROSSA man of your caliber should be facing the crème de la crème when he returns stateside. So what do you say to tonight's mainevent, yourself facing The Xavier Franklin Long for the OAOAST World Heavy Weight Title?“YYYYYYEEEEAAAAAAA!”THE XFLHe ain't gonna accept. Fuck suplex city, you crackhead city. You ain't gonna accept.SHAYNECall me Kelly Girls, 'cause I'm about to work you, bitch!THE XFLShayne gives the deuces to The XFL, leaving the champ to stew in furor in the ring.RENEEThere's our mainevent, Coach! So that means we can't pretend we didn't just listen to Shayne talk. We have to acknowledge his existence.COACHShit.COMMERCIAL Edited September 22, 2015 by SwiftGangSexToy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted September 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 ***24/7 Title: Sloppy Joe Vs Nathaniel Black***Sloppy Joe tried to match Black's talented wrestling early, but didn't have the skill to do so.RENEEHey, A+ for effort.Without the way to beat Black's technical styling, Joe dropped him with a body slam and left the ring to find some plunder. With a potted plant in hand he took aim at Black but missed. No problem, Sloppy Joe tried again and missed.RENEEStill an A+ for effort.Joe wound up throwing the plant at Black but still missed. Then Black bum rushed Joe and begin wailing on him with punches. But Joe managed to back drop Black out of the ring and take him out of the match for the moment.COACHNo countouts here.Now Joe started to take control and began slamming Black's leg into the steel steps. He then returned to the ring and tried a Vader Bomb on Black. But the Brit rolled out of the way to avoid the attack. He then sprung up and devastated Joe with a Black Lartiat that earned him a victory!Winner: Nathaniel Black, via pinfallRENEEThere it is! Nathaniel Black with a successful first title defense! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted September 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 Sophie sits in her office going over her iPad when Mister Dick in a white eye patch and his wrestling outfit of bright white trunks burst in.MISTER DICKSophie!SOPHIEJock? I did not expect you to be present tonight. Theese is odd.MISTER DICKOf course I showed up, and as you can see I showed up looking for a fight. Forget Shayne, put me in the ring with The X-F-Fail.SOPHIEEet can not be done.MISTER DICKCan not be done? Don't tell me what can and can't be done when I got my eyes damn near gouged out by that needle dick punk.SOPHIEJe suis desole, mais you are not cleared to wrestle. Mais non, you know this.MISTER DICKSo what?SOPHIEI will not put you at risk. Je suis desole.MISTER DICKYou ain't gonna keep me out of action. I ain't gonna stay at home jerking off at all hours of the day.SOPHIEC'est d'accord. You will be a 'ow you say trainer on TMW: Revolution. Zhe best TMW can offer will battle for the right to a million dollar OAOAST contract, and you will lead one. Juste?MISTER DICKYou want me to coach some green horn instead of getting my revenge on Xavier?SOPHIEZhere ees no other option for you.MISTER DICKDamn that. No one did a damn thing to help me get where I'm at and I ain't doing nothing to help any nobody chase down my sport. Find another sucker to coach. Mister Dick slams his fist on the announce desk and stomps off full of rage and disappointment.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted September 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 Backstage, OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood conducted an interview with the Party Brigade, joined as usual by Amberlyn, and the "King of Bronies" Daisuke Motozaki. Among the topics covered were their newly formed partnership (Dice-M has the "steak to go along with the sizzle" and can "parties like a bro" according to Piercy D) and match later tonight against the 3 Amigos for the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Championship. Daisuke chimed in, speaking in Japanese to say stuff nobody understood except the words "Deuce."J.RIGGSThat's right. Tell him!PIERCY DYeah, bro. Don't hold back. DAISUKEGo?PIERCY DGo on, bro. We feel you.Dice-M shrugs and continues.DAISUKE(in Japanese)Then in that case, I'd like to remind the OAOAST Galaxy that I still wish to fill your sister's womb with my seed!AMBERLYNPIERCY DPreach it, bro. You're gonna own that ass!J.RIGGSHope you're listening Deuce, 'cause when the Dice rolls it's gonna be snake eyes for you.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted September 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 ** 6-Man Tag Title: The Party Brigade & Daisuke Motozaki w/ Amberlyn vs. the 3 Amigos © w/ El Hijo del Sheep ***Following a successful tour of the ARRIBA promotion in Mexico, the 3 Amigos returned to OAOAST TV to defend their 6-man tag titles. Usually they're the heavy crowd favorites but since aligning with the "King of Bronies" the Party Brigade have seen a surge in their popularity.COACHIt's like a college atmosphere in here. You got half the crowd supporting the 3 Amigos, the other the Party Brigade. RENEEAnd who'd ever think we'd see the OAOAST Galaxy behind the Party Brigade?In a fast pace affair™, both teams put on a show... only for SLAUGHTERHOUSE to ruin all the fun by running in to attack both teams. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"Winners: No contest.A beat down ensued. OAOAST officials swarmed the ring. But when it was all said and done Deuce Deuce Bigelow stood tall holding the 6-man tag titles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted September 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 ANGLESLAM AFTER PARTY!A pissed off Maggie Nerdly is stomping down the hallway, swigging back a bottle of wine. But the camera man is incessant in following her and catches up with her.CAMERAMAN MARTY (OS)Maggie, tough loss-MAGGIETough loss? Tough loss? You're gonna make me lose my temper, and when I lose my temper people sometimes get hurt. Sometimes they have a wine bottle smashed into their face. Pieces of glass dug into their eye. So take care what you say. For your information, I didn't lose anything. I wasn't pinned. I wasn't submitted. Do you know what I was? Fucked. And not the way I like. The way that makes me lose my cool. Bobbi Cheesecake, I won't hit you with the bottle. I'll leave your pretty face in tact. But, you two dollar whore, I will snatch that title belt and ruin your life in an instant. No Judge Dudd, no triple threats, just me and you, and me becoming the four time women's champion.TMW: REVOLTUIONCOMING THIS OCTOBER!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted September 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 In the state of the art interview set we find Josh Matthews interviewing Phecda and Al Houd wearing the brand new PYM logo polo shirts. Phecda is in teal, with Al Houd in pink with an up turned collar.JOSHAn upset win marked AngleSlam. Phecda and Al Houd you beat The Team of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which most people didn't see coming.PHECDAAnd Melissa crushed Molly. All praise to Melissa.AL HOUDNo praise to Spencer.PHECDABetrayal by absence.JOSHSpencer is a loyal member of Pretty Young Money.AL HOUDWho is to say that?PHECDAHis actions do not.JOSHAren't you proud of Spencer beating Blaine at AngleSlam?PHECDAWhy was Anastasia not with him. Why was Gloss?AL HOUDSugar lost the women's title.PHECDAWhere was Spencer?JOSHBoth of you were there.AL HOUDAnd Spencer was not.PHECDAThat is all we are saying.AL HOUDMolly Nerdly.PHECDAYour punishment will continue.AL HOUDTrust and believe us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted September 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 Up in the we find OAOAST Hall of Famer Tony Brannigan standing front and center with the big ass trophy handed out at Angleslam to the winners of The Challenge.BRANNIGANHello world! It was a little over two months ago -- on the 4th of July to be exact -- that two men accept a challenge. Not just any challenge but... The Challenge! These men willingly vacated their championship, allowing the OAOAST to place it in a groundbreaking round robin tournament in which the winners would not only go home with the gold but also a $500,000 bonus. All because two men gambled on themselves, believing they could pass this unique challenge. They did just that a few short days ago at Angleslam. So please welcome the men who passed The Challenge, accompanied by their uncle/adviser Marcellus... Kawhi Erving and Moses Robinson... HOOD AGAIN!"YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"TB congratulated the guys, then Marcellus took the mic and cut a promo putting over the long hard road he and his nephews had to overcome.MARCELLUSWe didn't show up back in the Hood Again to shuck and jive in some damn choir. I brought in my nephews to help me with unfinished business. Business me and my buddy Vincent never got to finish ourselves, which was to kick ass, win championship gold and make a whole lotta muthafucking money! My nephews Moses and Kawhi, they did just that, didn't they?MOSES & KAWHIThe guys were then interrupted by the CHRIST AIR EXPRESS, a duo M.I.A. for weeks. MELDon't worry G. Like you told us when you crashed our Anderson Cup victory celebration, you don't have to worry about us jacking you up and taking your shit because we already have a trophy.MARVTwo of 'em! MELOnly two-time Anderson Cup winners in OAOAST history.MARVTrue that!MELBut after hearing your story, as beaten to the ground it is, we couldn't just lounge around anymore. We just had to come out and express our feelings about the subject.MARVA real tear jerker. In fact, I'm beginning to tear up...Out of the blue MEL tosses a handful of powder in the face of Hood Again!COACHWhat the heck?MARCELLUSBefore we can react in defense of his nephews, Marcellus is blindsided by a set of BRASS KNUCKS courtesy of MARV. MEL then uses Marcellus's PIMP CANE to beat Moses and Kawhi... and then their winners trophy!"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"RENEESomebody stop this!OAOAST officials swarm ringside to restore order, but that doesn't stop MEL from grabbing a mic.MELFuck your dream. Fuck your life. * drops mic *RENEEThe CAE light one up and exhale in the faces of OAOAST officials who demand they return backstage.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted September 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 Backstage at the world famous interview lounge, OAOAST Hottie/correspondent Sara Jean Underwood congratulated OSCAR FRIBERG on becoming OAOAST U.S. Champion for a second time at Angleslam. Like he did when he first won the title, Oscar promised to be a fighting champion, taking on all comers.SARA JEANEven a fellow member of Team SCREAM? I'm sure you heard what Samantha Cayley had to say at the top of the show. Cray cray!OSCAR Friend or foe alike. All anybody has to do is sign on the dotted line. I wouldn't read much into Sammi's comments, though. She was obviously still upset over how her and Blaine's night went--GLOSS (O.S.)And why might that have been, hmm? *gasp* Oh! I know. Because of this man.The camera pulls back to reveal SPENCER REIGER standing before Oscar. At his side is Gloss looking calm, cool and collected. And hot. Very hot in black jeans, a leather jacket and shades.SPENCERCongrats, champ. The two men shake hands.OSCARI oughta say the same. After all, you did hand Blaine his first career defeat in singles competition.SPENCERYeah. Heh. Being a Cayley's first seems to be a common occurrence. But I heard you say a few moments ago that you wanna be a fighting champion. Well, look no further because I'm officially challenging you to a title match. And as sweet as it would've been to have it tonight, Sophie said she wanted it for next week. Apparently we're a thing with the tween/young female demo and she wants to target them with ads.OSCARSo I've been told. And we're on. Next week, you and I for the U.S. Title. Good luck.The two shake again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted September 22, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 ***OAOAST World Title: The Xavier Franklin Long W/Rick Heyross Vs #TrapLord Shayne Brave***My niggas stack their money just to spend itCause when you die you cannot take it with youIf you ain't beefin' 'bout the money, then what's the problem?Don't worry about my niggas cause I got 'emMy niggas stack their money just to spend itCause when you die you cannot take it with youAnd if you ain't beefin' 'bout the money, then what's the problem?Don't worry about my niggas, Zoo I got 'em The fans were treated to a brand new entrance from Shayne. With RGF Island playing, #TrapLord showed up with a champagne bottle sparkling with pyro.RENEEI'm just gonna say it, Shayne's got his swag back.COACHSwag back? He never had swag to begin with. He was always a simp and a sap just like Tim Cash. Let's see what he's got now.On the top turnbuckle #TrapLord gave an air toast to the fans, who responsed by holding their cups in kind.“TRAP OR DIE! TRAP OR DIE! TRAP OR DIE!”THE XFLYou know what? Forget this shit.The XFL tried to leave but was intercepted by Shayne who hammered him with knife edge chops. The XFL was thrust into the corner and then hit with a pair of body splashes. He tried to roll out of the ring again, but was thrown over by a victory roll for a one count.HEYROSSBack to gameplan!RENEEYeah, I bet the gameplan wasn't to get your butt beat on your first title defense.The XFL blocked a vertical suplex effort by Shayne and slowed down the match by working over Shayne's neck. But when The XFL went to kick Shayne through the uprights for three, Shayne blocked, rolled him up and then kicked him in the face when he kicked out!“OOOOOOHHHHHHH!”Dazed, The XFL stood up into Shayne's top rope flying lariat!“YYYEAAAAAAAA!”RENEEOur production notes say Shayne has named that move ZooWap.The cover....ONE! TWO! Kickout!Shayne came on hard and started throwing punches at The XFL. When he fed him his leg though, The XFL countered with a capture suplex and then a cover....ONE! TWO! Shoulder up!Shayne stood his ground and mounted another comeback which had Rick Heyross worried. It certainly didn't help when Shayne hit The XFL with his leg lariat called Finessin'!“YYYYEAAAAAAA!”Cover....ONE! TWO! The kickout! Shayne went up top and tried his picture perfect elbow drop, but wound up eating canvas due to The XFL rolling out of the way. The champion then took hold of Shayne and brought him down with the Long Bomb to secure the win!Winner: The XFL, via pinfallPost-match The XFL and Rick Heyross began to put the boots Shayne!RENEEThere's no reason to do that!But help arrived for Shayne in the form of COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR ! The two time OAOAST champion nailed The XFL with a Biotic Cris and sent Heyross running away!RENEEColin saves the day! No one could have expected that!Colin posed with her old title belt as we....fFADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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