Chanel #99 Posted August 28, 2015 Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3D To open HeldDOWN all six superstars in the Elimination Chamber stand on the interview stage around Tony Brannigan, OAOAST Hall of Famer and former world champion. BRANNIGAN You six people are the chosen ones. The ones who will compete at AngleSlam in Los Angeles for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title in the Elimination Chamber. We all know the result will be settled in the ring, but here's your chance to speak on the upcoming match. BARON If the result is settled in the ring, I got nothing to say. I'll let my Texas sized right hand do the talking. BIG PAPA THRUST You ain't got nothing to say, because yer a piece of white trash who laks the elqu...elouen..eloque.....ability to speak like an educated man, because yer a piece of white trash. If you could speak like a normal person you wouldn't have that problem! ALIX Ooooh I feel some boy-love in the air, and its sticky like the dried pages of a girly mag! Pow! Baron nails Big Papa Thrust in the face with that Texas Sized right hand! “YYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAA!” Silver jumps in and clubs Baron down, which leads to all hell promptly breaking out. Mister Dick gets to Big Papa Thrust and these two former friends are right on each other with body blows and facial shots. Not that kind of facial shots. RENEE I'm loving the aggressiveness here! COACH Me too. Everyone wants that world title. Baron is ready to press Silver off the stage, but luckily Silver is able to slip out. He backs into The XFL who hits him with a shot to the back of the head. Down goes Silver, and Baron comes after Xavier but gets rocked with a superkick from Alix! “OOOOOOHHHHHHHH!” The XFL cocks his fist back to hit Alix, but winds up slamming his elbow into Mister Dick's eye! MISTER DICK AAAAGGGGGGH! Mister Dick goes down after that blood curdling scream, and clutches an injured eye. The sight of Jock in pain from his wounded eye does give pause to the competitors, and they stop to allow medical professionals to swarm around The Human Hard On. RENEE Jock took a pretty hard hit to the eye, and I don't even know if he can see out of it right now. COACH If he can't, how does that effect the Elimination Chamber? Do we do another qualifier? RENEE Don't count Jock out just yet, Coach. Let's give him some time to heal up! Though the fighting has calmed down, the performers animosity is on full bare and they all continue to glare at one another with angst and mistrust. RENEE The story is Mister Dick. I hope his eye is okay. COACH Word, you can't compete in an Elimination Chamber match half blind. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 *** Keyboard Warrior Bombastic Bot vs. Oscar Friberg *** Back off a successful tour with the ARIBBA promotion in Mexico, Oscar made quick work of his masked opponent, picking up the W with the Birdcall.Winner: Oscar Friberg, via pinfall. Afterwards OAOAST U.S. Champion LOGAN MANN appeared on the AngleTron alongside Holly making fun of Oscar for going on a tour of Mexico. LOGAN Me? I tour A-list cities and countries. Next stop for me -- Angleslam. I'm even letting you come along for the trip. Managed to sneak in a little sight-seeing for you too. HOLLY Hope you enjoy staring up at the lights, [bleep]! LOGAN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 The state of the art interview lounge is our scene as Josh Matthews is with Big IQ, with Ice Quiz boasting a vintage Spurs jersey to probably suck up to management. MATTHEWS Big IQ in tonight's mainevent The Challenge rides again one last time. You are on the the side of the top teams against the bottom teams, with one of those teams being the Christ Air Express. How does the inclusion of the twins- Before Josh can even finish his sentence Pierette runs onto the scene and hip bumps Josh! PIERETTE You call for me and I appear! WRIGHT Milady, my heart beat red passion for readhead goddess such as yourself. But sadly we did not summons you. Oh, if only we had. PIERETTE Careful, I'm the super high school level Cinderella From The Garden of Slaughter! Don't throw around pretty words so easily, a nasty mind inhabits a nasty body! BIG IQ Girl, you tripping where's Gretchen? PIERETTE I getcha, I getcha, if we're the Sisterhood of the Rich and Famous we should be a pair. Nice try you fail, Gretchen's furious! And I don't like a furious lover! BIQ IQ Yo, quit kidding like Jason. You ain't lovers with Gretchen! PIERETTE Hey, you freaking bit part stand off to the side! BIG IQ Bit part? Ain't no bit about any of my parts! WRIGHT There are no small parts, only small actors, milord. PIERETTE Just like you have to time your Chef Boyardee just right or it turns to crud, you have to time your approach to sweet Gretchen's emotions just right. Small time over there wouldn't get it. I burn with passion and conviction given to me by Gretchen's mood swings, and she's swinging away she is, because big brother's gonna get with Lyric DeLacey, he is. WRIGHT I shan't kiss and tell on this evening. PIERETTE I'm a sick chick on the way to becomign your worst nightmare! If you put a pinky finger on Lyric, for Gretchen's sake, I'll cut it off and feed it to ya! WRIGHT, JOSH, IQ BIG IQ Ai- PIERETTE Shut your trap whipped dog! The only two thingies that matter to me in my so called life are my tag title reign and Gretchen, and if either one falls apart, its good to be Wright who's getting stabbed up, he is! Pierette leaves Christian with something seriously deadly to think about. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~!: Last Week - Blaine defeats Keyboard Warrior and gets attacked post-match by Gloss! In a HeldDOWN~! exclusive, we see footage shot backstage following the attack where the OAOAST training staff tend to Blaine with his sister Samantha at his side holding his hand. BLAINE (straining) Oh shit. Am I gonna die? OAOAST TRAINING STAFF SAMMI (frantic, near tears) Don't just stare around. Help him! OAOAST TRAINER He's gonna be fine. It's just a hickey. BLAINE SAMMI A hickey?! That BITCH! Moments later TANNER NEPTUNE enters the room. SAMMI Tanner! TANNER (out of breath) Heard what happened. Got here soon as I could. BLAINE Not soon enough. Gloss embarrassed me out there! And somewhere Spencer Reiger's laughing his ass off. What a little bitch sending his bitch to do a man's job. SAMMI Really Tanner. I'm very disappointed. I thought we all were friends. *puppy dog face* TANNER We are! I was getting ready for my match when I saw what happened. SAMMI A match means more to you than me? TANNER What? No! Shit. I really blew it, didn't I? SAMMI (under breath) Now you'll have no shot getting blown. TANNER No, wait! I'll prove my friendship to you guys next week. BLAINE How? TANNER By taking Spencer... to Neptune! BLAINE & SAMMI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 ***The Kings of The Heap W/Maggie Nerdly Vs Army of One Nation W/Judge Dudd*** Judge Dudd and Maggie sat with RC to make a combustible situation! “FUCK BOTH TEAMS! FUCK BOTH TEAMS! FUCK BOTH TEAMS!” the audience insults the superstars. RENEE These two teams bring out the worst in the OAOAST Galaxy because they are the worst people in the OAOAST! JUDGE DUDD No. The worst is brought out in America, because our elected officials allow foreign born scum to take jobs from American wrestlers. MAGGIE We're scum sure, but so are you. JUDGE DUDD Like hell we are! Scourge spit on Eagle Eye which started a wild brawl between the two teams. Referee Val Venis tried to clam things down but got shoved to the ground by Blackhawk and Rayder. That means the battle continued between the two units. “YOU ALL SUCK! YOU ALL SUCK! YOU ALL SUCK!” JUDGE DUDD I'll tell you what sucks, non Americans running rampant in an American company. MAGGIE You're a one trick pony, and its a cheap trick. Just shut up. Eagle Eye got dumped out the ring by Rayder, allowing The Kings to double team Blackhawk. Well, Eagle wasn't going to take that lying down and entered the ring with a steel chair. Luckly Val Venis was able to take it off him. MAGGIE There's that Canadian know how from Val. Heh. JUDGE DUDD You bitch! Still Eagle Eye fought hard and managed to take out both Kings. For some reason he tried a moonsault which wound up missing due to Rayder moving. Scourge then nailed Eagle with a rolling spear! RENEE Invading Spear! That move only got a two count! The two teams resumed their brawl with heavy blows, neither team gaining an advantage. Perhaps all is for naught as Bobbi appears on the ring apron! JUDGE DUDD What she's doing around? MAGGIE Get that bitch out! Bobbi strps down and exposes her mammaries to the world! A1ON & KOTH “YYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE The bitch got her boobs out! And what a set! I'm mad jelly! Both teams are distracted so neither gain an advantage. BOBBI Ohhhh boys. The teams lurch like zombies to the 18 year old Hottie, but they're stopped by the arrival of the TIME KILLERS! RENEE I think those are the boys Bobbi was calling! The Killers hit an on cue double dropkick on Blackhawk then hit one on Eagle Eye! “YYYYEAAAAAAAA!” JUDGE DUDD What's going on? RENEE They're jumping for joy, and I ain't just talking about Bobbi's chest. Scourge is hit with a Lungblower from Marty, and then Rayder is hit with a falling neckbreaker/moonsault combo! RENEE Great Scott for great boobs! Finisher: Double DQ Post-match Time Killers are more than happy to pose with the half naked women's champion! “THANK YOU, KILLERS! THANK YOU, BOBBI! THANK YOU, KILLERS! THANK YOU, BOBBI!” MAGGIE Fuck this! JUDGE DUDD They'll all pay! COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 The OAOAST Production team put together a crack video package highlighting Nathaniel Black's work since last we saw him on HeldDOWN or SYN BLACK If yer've been wotchin' 'eldDOWN and 'eldDOWN only yer probably fought I disappeared under a rock. We see Black's last HD appearance, a tag team match with Alexander The Brutal. BLACK But I've been 'round the bloody world. TMW, where I 'ad a motch of the year wiv Chad Mustard. We see Black wrestling TMW star Chad Mustard, who noticeably has A$AP Blondie in his corner. Keep that in mind for the future. BLACK Been in BUSTLE. Black is squaring off with Deuce inside a BUSTLE ring in the Tokyo Dome. BLACK But hyar ah's am agin. In the bloody OAOAST! Black is working out in the OAOAST ring inside an empty arena. BLACK Eleven years I've wawked fo' th' OAOAST, an' not one sin'les title. ah's changin' thet at AngleSlam, th' 24/7 title is MINE! Fry mah hide! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 Like she did last week, OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood attempted to get down to the bottom of the beef between Spencer Reiger, Blaine and Samantha Cayley. SPENCER (laughs) I'd tell you, but I wouldn't want Blaine to accuse me of being a little bitch again. Good thing I make sure not to go out without applying sunscreen because that was such a burn. Sarcasm. GLOSS At least now Blaine knows not to mess with my property. Both physical and material.*** Tanner Neptune vs. Spencer Reiger w/ Gloss *** Before the match began we saw PETE-O in the crowd serving ice cream to young ladies but not guys, shooing them away saying they're "too old." RENEE You can never be too old for ice cream! Jerk! Looking to prove his friendship to Blaine and Sammi, Tanner came out a house afire, taking the fight right to Spencer as Blaine and Sammi watched on a monitor backstage along with the rest of Team SCREAM (who seemed embarrassed by what they were witnessing). But in the end Spencer put Tanner away with the Reiger Counter, to the disappointment of Blaine and Sammi.Winner: Spencer Reiger, via pinfall. As Gloss looked on from the outside impressed by her man, SAMMI snuck up behind and drove her FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL STEPS! Again. And again! It was only until Spencer went out to Gloss's aid that Sammi backed away with a smirk on her face. Perhaps more incredible was Gloss smirking back while slumped against the ring steps! COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 The dressing room of Fairly Odd Vamps is our scene with Titania being at the forefront, holding a microphone while also standing in front of a silk screen. And behind said silk screen we see the leggy body of Lyric DeLacey. TITANIA Welcome to the Lyric DeLacey lingerie show sponsored by Brazzers! LYRIC You secured sponsors. How much did they pay? TITANIA Pay? LYRIC You idiot! TITANIA Anyway like I was saying welcome to the lingerie show of the sexiest vampire to come out the middle ages, Lyric DeLacey. Her beauty brought the world out the dark ages, that's how hot she is and Christian Wright she's bringing that scorching body to your honeymoon suite after you get married! LYRIC I wanted to give you a good choice of hot outfits that you can rip off my hot body. Its a Christianocracy in our bedroom and your hard dick is my lord and ruler. TITANIA Let's see what's first up! Lyric steps out in this number.... TITANIA Alimony, child support, dowry, its all worth it for one night with Lyric in this number! Lyric disappears behind the screen, and reemerges in this.... TITANIA How do you get changed so fast? LYRIC Vamp speed. And I can go 100 miles on that d-i-c-k, Chris. Lyric goes back behind the screen, and due to vamp speed comes out quickly like this.... TITANIA A very old timey outfit. And Christian you can use your old timey big words as you nail Lyric in this classic piece. LYRIC Ai, the harolt shall absorb my ejaculate! And Gretchen there's not a damn thing you can do about it, except watch from the corner and cry your blue eyes out. Bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2015 *** The Challenge All-Stars Elimination Tag Special: THE BEST (The Playmakers w/ Rick Heyross, Hood Again w/ Marcellus, Big IQ w/ Gretchen Wright & the Christ Air Express) vs. THE REST (The Party Brigade w/ Amberlyn, Time Killers, Sonic & The Warthog w/ C.A.M. & the Scumbag Reformation Project) *** Scheduled to meet for the OAOAST tag titles/500k grand prize at Angleslam, the Playmakers and Hood Again found themselves on the same side of a gigantic 16-man ELIMINATION tag featuring all the teams that participated in The Challenge.ELIMINATION OCCURS VIA… - Pinfall - Submission - Thrown over the top rope and both feet hit the floor Once a person is pinned, submits or is tossed over the top rope, he and his partner are BOTH eliminated! RENEE Determined by the final standings, you have the top 4 teams record wise teaming together against the bottom 4. It’s The Best vs. The Rest! COACH Except we seem to be missing a team. Conspicuous by their absence are identical twins MARV and MEL, collectively the CAE. They receive two intros and no shows both, leaving their teammates perplexed. RENEE Looks like it’s gonna be 4 on 3. Still no sign of the CAE. BENJAMIN (to Moss) Guess we’ll have to carry the load. MOSS KAWHI MOSES (to Playmakers) If you’re not feeling this, we could do Angleslam instead tonight! Heyross immediately intervened to diffuse the situation. Not Marcellus. He supported his nephews suggestion of getting it on if the Playmakers didn’t want to get along. Things were just as intense on the other team as The Party Brigade had some tough words for Slaughterhouse members Sonic & The Warthog and vice versa. COACH I’m gonna be out on a limb and say there’s still heat between The Party Brigade and Slaughterhouse. RENEE Especially now that The Party Brigade have aligned with the “King of Bronies” Daisuke Motozaki. The first elimination occurred within the opening minute as, looking to wipe the egg off their face following a poor showing in the tournament after strong words going in, the Scumbag Reformation Project pounced on Hood Again. COACH There you go. Attack the big boys on the block! But instead of laying a beat down the SRP got beat down! Isolated Incident put The Rizzo away for our first elimination. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: The Scumbag Reformation Project Eliminated by: Hood Again THE BEST 3 THE REST 3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All hell broke loose during the next elimination, as Sonic pinned CW thanks to help from The Warthog. CW was trying to suplex Sonic inside from the apron when The Warthog tripped him up and held onto the foot for the 1-2-3. But Piercy D ratted on his teammates… PIERCY D Not cool, bro. THE WARTHOG …which got the decision overturned. Instead the match resumed and Ice Quiz pinned Sonic following a Pop Quiz! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Sonic & The Warthog Eliminated by: Big IQ THE BEST 3 THE REST 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After the pinfall Piercy D was about to enter the ring when The Warthog pulled him out and… * TWHACK * … blasted him across the back with a STEEL CHAIR! RENEE COACH Don’t act so surprised, baby girl. You know what happens to snitches. Ice Quiz, shocked by what went down, neared the ropes to check on Piercy D only for Marty Fox to dropkick him over the top to the floor! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Big IQ Eliminated by: Time Killers THE BEST 2 THE REST 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ RENEE Ice Quiz got caught napping while the match was still ongoing! COACH Check Yo’self fool! Hood Again and the Time Killers went at it fast and furious, but as Kawhi had Doc against the ropes for a clothesline QB1 held down the top rope to send Doc and Kawhi to the floor! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Time Killers & Hood Again THE BEST 1 THE REST 1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH Guess the Playmakers gotta carry the load after all. Hood Again got themselves eliminated! RENEE Thanks to the Playmakers all in the name of glory! With Piercy D still reeling from the cheap shot by Warthog, J.Riggs had it go at it alone. He stood tall until the numbers got to him, but ultimately Piercy D gathered everything he had to return to action, kicking out of several high impact maneuvers. But eventually he got trucked by 3 Yards & A Cloud of Dust. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: The Party BrigadeWinners: The Playmakers ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ RENEE Valiant effort by Piercy D, especially after taking that cheap shot from The Warthog -- one of his own partners! -- but in the end the Playmakers were too much. Heyross celebrated with his team until Hood Again arrived still steaming over their elimination. Backing his men away, Heyross repeatedly told them “Not for free. Remember the big ANGLESLAM payday.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted August 29, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2015 RANCH HOME BRISTOL, CT Sitting inside the living room of a modest home is an ornate, Celtic themed casket. Its surrounded by cloves and leaves and more importantly a spell casting Angel Maguire and her annoyed son. COLIN How long must I wait? ANGEL Magic doesn't work on Junior's time table. COLIN Do not call me Junior. I am considering changing my name. ANGEL You're so impuslive. COLIN The very word considering denies my impuslivity. When will you be done? ANGEL Hovering, isn't going to help. There's a piercing through the window only Colin is sharp enough to notice. But he's frozen in horror at the bullet that whizes by him. The same bullet that cuts a graze across his mother's arm. COLIN Mother! ANGEL A scratch! Its only scratch! COLIN Get down! ANGEL I have to finish the spell. COLIN Damn that. Get down! Angel does lower herself to the ground, and having to assume her safety Colin whisks himself to find the shooter. Colin storms through the front door as reckless as impulsive as he always is. Its that very nature that gets him shot in his non beating heart. COLIN (popping the bullet out) Show yourself! The shooter does show himself, but not in the way Colin expected. Rather he is launched from the bushes in front of Colin, hitting the ground and broken, snapped neck, dead man. COLIN Hmmmm. Colin smirking face fills up with joy and amusement as he watches Ivar The Cunning emerge from the bushes. COLIN No bite marks on the body. You're losing your touch. IVAR I had a bite to eat on the flight over. Airline food has gone to shit. COLIN Come you get to witness a witch in her element. Colin puts his arm around Ivar and leads him to the home. FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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