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OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-
-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-
-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-

BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3D

 

 

RENEE

Welcome to the spiciest show on television, and the internet, OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I am Renee Young and with me is my secret lover, Da Coach!

 

COACH

Ya'll know how I get it in.

 

TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT

OAOAST WOMEN'S TITLE

JUDGE DUDD VS BOBBI CHEESECAKE

 

RENEE

And The Challenge is what kicks us off!

 

ANSON

:show:

 

Things went from bad to worse for SRP, as they were again put through a sound beating. After Pierce rocked Anson with the Ho Train, Riggs mowed him down for a spear to end a quick match.

 

Winner: The Party Brigade, via pinfall (2:31)

 

RENEE

Two wins in a row for the party boys! But that bet Rizzo made with Joey is looking stupider every week.

 

COACH

Eh, Rizzo's got funds. He can cover it.

 

RENEE

Uh, no he doesn't. That's part of his gambling addiction!

 

The OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~! highlights last week's U.S. Title match which saw TANNER NEPTUNE deck SPENCER REIGER with Logan Mann's clip on steel chain. Backstage at the world famous interview lounge OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood chatted with Team SCREAM, specifically Tanner regarding his actions. Before he could respond Blaine interjected, reminding everybody the past is just that: the past.

BLAINE
Let's talk about the future. Like our 10 man tag tonight. Important stuff.

SJU scoffed and tried to get a word with Sammi, but Blaine cut her off and escorted his sister away from "this TMZ-ish nonsense."

Oscar finished up the interview hyping his U.S. Title match vs. champion Logan Mann at ANGLESLAM.

 

ANGLESLAM 2K15

LIVE FROM LOS ANGELES, CA

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***The Challenge: Hood Again W/Marcellus Wallace Vs Sonic and Warthog W/Carl MacDonalad***

 

Before the match began, Big Boy jumped Moses! Marcells warded BB off, but the damage was done and Kawhi was faced with fighting by his lonesome.

 

RENEE

That's not fair!

 

COACH

You can't just postpone the match, this thing is on a tight schedule.

 

RENEE

Its still not fair.

 

Sonic didn't seem cool with fighting a handicap match, but Carl yelled at him to start. Kawhi was in a bad mood and battered Sonic, despite Sonic's misgivings. When Jack came into the ring, he got more of the same. But, he couldn't fend off the two on one advantage forever and things looked bleak for Hood Again.

 

MARCELLUS

You got it, K!

 

But help soon arrived as Moses appeared on the ring apron. The fans popped as he got the tag, and they watched Hood Again tear through their foes. The happy ending was sealed when the faces hit an Isolated Incident on Warthog for the win!

 

Winner: Hood Again, via pinfall (5:12)

 

RENEE

It looked dicey for Hood Again, but Mose returned and they pulled out a HUGE come from behind win.

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A video replay was shown of Ser Timothy Cash attacking King Landon at The Great Angle Bash. This led into an interview with Josh Matthews and The Kingdom. Josh questioned King Landon on what he planned to do about Ser Timothy Cash.

 

KING LANDON

Naming Ser Timothy Cash as commander of my Kingsguard was the greatest mistake I ever made!

 

LORD NORTHSTAR

Kings do not make mistakes, your consul at the time was ineffiecent and foolish.

 

KING LANDON

He ruined everything I had! Took all from me, that's what Ser Timothy has done. I will not let it go unpunished!

 

PRINCE ALEARYS

Ah, good, good, good to hear. I'll provide the pincers and the hot wax.

 

LORD NORTHSTAR

Better a show of dominance in front of your subjects.

 

PRINCE ALEARYS

More boring.

 

SER PIKE

But much more wise. I'll put a hole through his stomach with my Smoking Gun.

 

KING LANDON

No I will do it. Me, only me. Yes, my commander, my responsibility. I'll face him at AngleSlam, my commander my responsibility. My friend, my responsibility.

 

COMMERCIAL

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AS SEEN ON OAOAST TV, courtesy of OAOAST SYN, Oscar Friberg and the Christ Air Express defeated OAOAST U.S. Champion Logan Mann and the Playmakers when Oscar pinned Logan after countering a WICKED LEFT HOOK into the Birdcall. Oscar challenged Logan to a U.S. Title match following the bout. "Anytime, anywhere!"

*** The Keyboard Warriors (CompTROLLER, The Bot, I.C. Weiner, Moody Foodie & Free The Hulk) vs. Team SCREAM (Ocsar Friberg, Blaine Cayley, Jo-Jo Whoa, BTK & Tanner Neptune) w/ Samantha Cayley ***

Jobber intro for the Keyboard Warriors. But we learned Blaine was a bit butt hurt over not getting the U.S. Title match at ANGLESLAM thinking he should've beenthe one who got it. In fact, he avoid being tagged until Tanner found himself on the wrong end of a beat down. Blaine then sprung into action attacking all the Keyboard Warriors and TOSSING Tanner across the ring back towards the Team SCREAM corner so he could tag in!

RENEE
An usual way to make a tag...

COACH
But it got the job done.

A pier-six brawl erupted, leaving chaos to rule the ring. Blaine and the CompTROLLER traded fire, with the anonymous warrior getting burned as you'd expect. But what happened next nobody expected, as the CompTROLLER rolled under Cruel Intentions and quickly planted Blaine with a REIGER COUNTER for the pin!

COACH
What the heck?!

The CompTROLLER removed his mask to reveal SPENCER REIGER!

SAMMI
:o

TANNER
:huh:

RENEE
It's Spencer!

COACH
Yeah. And apparently he's got a receipt for last week.

Spencer throws the mask down on Blaine and lays the verbal smack down. Tanner jumps in and is force fed a knuckle sandwich. Spencer then bails as the rest of Team SCREAM enter the ring, backtracking as he takes a good long hard look at Sammi.

SAMMI
:o

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OAOAST: LAW AND ORDER

STARRING: ALIX MARIA SPEZIA

 

At the court house in West Hollywood, Alix Maria Spezia stands in front of an elderly black female judge.

 

ALIX

Your honor, on this day, this day, this uh....

 

JUDGE

Tuesday.

 

ALIX

Are you sure?

 

JUDGE

Yes.

 

ALIX

Wow, what the frick happened to Sunday am I right?

 

JUDGE

It came before Monday.

 

ALIX

Effing Monday! So on this Tuesday let the record show the following. The XFL qualified for the Elimination Chamber by virtue of being black.

 

JUDGE

:huh:

 

ALIX

Big Papa Thrust qualified by virtue of having both male and female reproductive organs. Mister Dick qualified by virtue of beating the ghost of Billy Mays. He's missed.

 

JUDGE

What does any of this have to do with your parking citation?

 

ALIX

I'm getting to that! Haven't you ever seen Judge Judy? Don't you know how this thing works? Jeez Louise, go to school!

 

JUDGE

:huh:

 

ALIX

So I parked in that handicap space because of a couple reasons. Reason number one, Mister Dick. I've beaten him a gazillion times before. But never have I beaten him off. And for the record, I've beaten off pretty much every guy in the OAOAST. For the record.

 

JUDGE

Its all for the record.

 

ALIX

Are ya sure? That court typist is super slow. Is she doing shorthand? My thoughts need to be expressed in proper length and with emojis! And I'm just not sure she can handle that. So like I was saying, Mister Dick coming for my world title distracted me. And that's reason one why I parked in the handicap spot.

 

JUDGE

And?

 

ALIX

And Big Papa Thrust. So, like, here's a guy who fulfills my daddy issues and my sex drive and my love of big cocks in one name. But still, like, he's pretty dangerous. And if I beat him at AngleSlam in the Elimination Chamber, he might be so mad I may never get to have sex with him. And that's problematic.

 

JUDGE

And.

 

ALIX

And I'd like to summon my witness. Miss Annagret Wickedborn.

 

JUDGE

You have a witness?

 

ANNAGRET

Sup?

 

ALIX

Annagret, how well do you know The XFL?

 

ANNAGRET

Not as well as I'd like to. Have you seen him. Hawt?

 

ALIX

And if you were trapped in a cage with him what would you do? For the record?

 

ANNAGRET

I'm a total black cock fiend. Like if I was in a cage with Xavier, oh-em-gee, I'd be bending over and taking his chocolate stick in my back side in a second. I'd squeeze on it real tight and never let him pull out.

 

ALIX

Your honor? More like he's on her. On he being Xavier, her being Annagret, and on being the sexing of the anal disposition.

 

ALIX

Berry, berry interesting.

 

ANNAGRET

My sister boned her horse, and I thought that was crazy, but if Xavier was like a shifter and shifted into a horse, I would still let him do me raw.

 

ALIX

Even though he wouldn't be a black guy anymore.

 

ANNNAGRET

Nah, he'd still be a black guy, but in horse format. There's a lot of grey area in interspecies hookups, you'd be kinda shocked. You should talk to my half brother Thor, he wrote a book about it.

 

ALIX

For the record, what's the most black guys you've ever been with at one time?

 

ANNAGRET

(without missing a beat)

Nine.

 

JUDGE

:o

 

ANNAGRET

Why?

 

JUDGE

Yes, why? Why? Why? Why?

 

ALIX

You see your honor, I am presented with a man I've yet to masturbate to completion, another man who fulfills several fantasies of mine, and a third who has the seal of approval from a true black cock expert, with many more men to come. So, I ask the jury of my peers.

 

JUDGE

There is no jury.

 

ALIX

How can I be expected to park in the right space when I've got all these distractions. I rest my case.

 

JUDGE

Pay the fifteen dollar fine, Miss Spezia.

 

ALIX

For the record, Hulk Hogan said the n word and no one fined him, so what's really going on here. Hashtag Alix lives matter. Drop the mic!

 

Alix drops her water glasse and everyone in the court watches in dismay as it shatters into pieces.

 

ANNAGRET

So, can, like I get parking validated or whatever?

 

COMMERCIAL

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*** The Challenge: The Christ Air Express vs. The Playmakers w/ Rick Heyross ***

Coming off their first defeats in the tournament, both teams looked to bounce back as the end of group play nears. And what started as a normal tag morphed into a wild brawl after MEL, unbeknownst to the ref, used a steel chair to strike Moss outside.

HEYROSS
:o

Pissed, QB1 sprinted across the ring and somersaulted over the top rope onto MEL!

COACH
It's on now, baby girl!

The OAOAST Galaxy rose to its feet as all four men brawled. Eventually legal men Charlie Moss and MEL found themselves alone inside where Moss executed a release German suplex which saw MEL land on his feet and connect with a spinning heel kick to the back of the head as Moss kipped up, then delivered a full Nelson face buster (Purple Haze) for a near fall.

RENEE
What a sequence!

COACH
What a sentence!

MEL then positioned Moss near the corner for a SHOOTING STAR PRESS... but Moss rose up to hit a SUPERKICK as MEL was coming down!

RENEE
:o

COACH
DAYUM~!

Moss immediately made the cover as the OAOAST Galaxy chanted "HOLY SHIT" but MEL barely... just barely managed to get his shoulder up before the red could slap the mat one final time.

RENEE
Oh! I can't believe MEL kicked out!

It was at this point ring announcer Michael Buffer announced 2 minutes remained in the time limit.

Two minutes!

Moss sat MEL on the top turnbuckle and climbed onto the middle rope... only to be struck by MARV. Right behind however was QB1. He and MARV traded fire until QB1 tossed MARV outside. MARV answered in mind by yanking QB1 out under the ropes to resume their brawl. All this as Moss positioned MEL for a MIDDLE ROPE BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX... but MEL fought back and spiked Moss with a MICHINOKU DRIVER OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE!!!

NO!!!

Moss rolls through, slamming MEL down and hooking the legs for the 1-2-3!

Winners: The Playmakers, via pinfall (13:19).

Heyross celebrated with his guys and let it be known "That's how you bounce back!"

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Inside the interview lounge Sara Jean isn't conducting an interview so much as an intervention with Krista and Maya, along with Queen Esther to help her.

 

SARA JEAN

Alright, I don't think you thought this gangbang thing through.

 

QUEEN ESTHER

Indeed it must be said. The divination from the village pellar have told me as much.

 

MAYA

Are you saying were impulsive?

 

KRISTA

Are you saying were rash?

 

MAYA

Reckless?

 

SARA JEAN

When it comes to sex you are. You clearly don't think.

 

MAYA

What makes you say that?

 

QUEEN ESTHER

Despite my attempts to control her, Krista is having intimiate relations with a man right now!

 

 

KRISTA

I swear it was an accident.

 

SARA JEAN

I don't think that sort of thing happens on accident.

 

MAYA

Not true, not true. One day I woke up at 6 am, and at 12 PM I was filming a gang bang on a yacht. Where did those other six hours go? Into accident zone.

 

KRISTA

Yeah, see? I can't help if I suddenly get naked, and a penis penetrates me. That's not something I can control.

 

SARA JEAN

Okay then. You can't accidentally have sex with 919 men. That's the amount of guys you'll need to get with to break the record.

 

SUNRISE YUKINO (OS)

You hush now.

 

Everyone turns to see Sunshine Yukino enter the room.

 

MAYA

Yuki!

 

SUNRISE YUKINO

Sex my buisness, not yours.

 

SARA JEAN

I'm a playmate of the year.

 

SUNRISE YUKINO

Not this year. This year you be quiet. I work Maya over time very hard, she most active Sunray, she so horny she love you long time and love lots of guys long time. Krista her mother, in Japan mother pass down skills to daughter. Here Krista pass down sex skills to Maya.

 

KRISTA

I don't actually have sex that often.

 

QUEEN ESTHER

You are literally still fornicating this man, despite your claims to it being an accident. Do you even know his name?

 

 

KRISTA

Uh...

 

QUEEN ESTHER

Well?

 

KRISTA

Hmmmm.

 

QUEEN ESTHER

Can you simply make up a name? Say a male name. Any name.

 

KRISTA

Jenny?

 

QUEEN ESTHER

Though I appreciate the competitive spirit displayed for it reminds me of the titls on my father's land, and the melees we'd pit the slaves in, I'd say you are both ill suited to handle 919 gentlemen.

 

MAYA

Oh, they won't be gentlemen.

 

QUEEN ESTHER

Dragons!

 

MAYA

Huh? No, I mean they'll all be horny as fuck to fuck the hottest mother and daughter cock suckers around. They'll bust in seconds.

 

SARA JEAN

And if they don't?

 

KRISTA

Here's hoping they don't!

MAYA

Mmm yeah, can you imagine laying there half awake and some hot dude comes barreling in, fucking your limp body? Awesomesauce!

 

SUNSHINE YUKINO

Sunrise take care of everything. Other Sunrays act as fluffesr, we find suckers....gentlemen, and they fuck Krista and Maya. It all very easy.

 

MAYA and KRISTA

May the best whore win!

 

COMMERCIAL

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*** The Challenge: The Time Killers vs. Big IQ w/ Gretchen Wright ***

Like our previous Challenge match, the teams involved are coming off something big as well. In this case a pair of big wins. But none was no bigger than the upset win last week by Marty Fox and Doc White, collectively The Time Killers.

RENEE
To the surprise of many, the Time Killers have been racking up wins AND fans during The Challenge. Just last week they defeated the previously unbeaten Playmakers in a instant classic!

COACH
In a tournament like this you're bound to get upsets. The Time Killers got lucky, is all. Caught the Playmakers by surprise. Guarantee you that wouldn't happen again.

Big IQ learned the Playmakers lesson and didn't take the Time Killers lightly, although Ice Quiz was taken aback by the zany energy of Doc White.

ICE QUIZ
The fuck wrong with this n--

CW quickly stepped in to cover his partner's mouth, wagging his finger in the process.

CHRISTIAN
Careful you must be around visual and audio devices!

COACH
Yeah, brother.

Marty shot Gretchen a boy-ish smile and wave, prompting Ice Quiz to ask Gretchen to "Show a little tit" to distract Marty. As you can imagine, that request doesn't go over well with either her or CW. But following a back and forth affair, Big IQ went over after Doc fell victim to a pump handle slam (CW blocked Marty from breaking up the pin).

RENEE
Check Yoself, Fool! *laughs* I just love saying that!

Winners: Big IQ, via pinfall (9:47).

WEEK 5 STANDINGS (Top 2 records advance to Finals at ANGLESLAM)

Playmakers 4-1
Big IQ 4-1
Hood Again 4-1
CAE 3-2
The Party Brigade 2-3
Time Killers 2-3
Sonic & Warthog 1-4
Scumbag Reformation Project 0-5

 

OAOAST WOMEN'S TITLE

BOBBI CHEESECAKE VS JUDGE DUDD

NEXT!

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Sharon Jones' jazzy “This Land Is Your Land” pops along with blue, red and white lights flooding the arena. Draped in the American flag, Judge Dudd emerges to a heated series of jeers from the fans. At her side, are the army fatigued Army of One Nation, who wear menacing scowls on their painted faces.

 

BUFFER

The following match is for the OAOAST WOMEN'S TITLE! Now making her way to the ring, being accompanied by THE ARMY OF ONE NATION....she is....JUDGE DUDD!

 

“BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

RENEE

Its time for our mainevent of the night, and Judge Dudd comes in at a downsing for her and her team. They missed out on the tag titles and missed out on The Challenge.

 

COACH

But they can turn it out around in three seconds with one pinfall.

 

RENEE

Easier said than done!

 

Night falls!

DARKER EACH TIME!

Let me tell you a story

You turn over to sleep

I hold my breath till the morning

 

1000 Nights!

And I'm still crying!

1000 Nights!

And I'm still trying!

1000 Nights!

And I'm still crying!

1000 Nights!

And I'm still trying!

 

Ooooohhhh!

I don't know what to do to please you!

Ooooohhhh!

I don't know what to do to please you!

 

Its like a throw back to the 80's with this synthy, peppy tune of “1000 Nights” by Ronika. As the fans let lose with incredible fanfare, Bobbi Cheesecake crawls onto stage with a violet in her mouth. Sexy as she wants to be, she writhes her body back and forth inside the confines of a bright purple flash of lights.

 

BUFFER

Representing Sunrise, from Seattle, Washington, she is the OAOAST Women's Champion....”ASSCAKE” BOBBBBBII CHHEEEEESEEECAAAAKKKKE!

 

“YYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Bobbi presents her violet to a handsome man in his late thirties and even gives him a peck on the cheek.

 

RENEE

Bobbi snagged the women's title from Sugar Belleflair's waist, ending her eight month long reign, which was the longest title reign in the OAOAST at the time.

 

DING DING DING

 

Before the match can properly get underway, Judge Dudd has to discuss things with her clients.

 

EAGLE EYE

This isn't just for you.

 

BLACKHAWK

This is for what's left of REAL America!

 

BOBBI

If you're not talking orgies can we hurry up.

 

Judge Dudd doesn't like Bobbi's words and flips her off. And that's a big mistake, as Bobbi surges forward and slams a dropkick into her chest. The blow hits Dudd so hard she flies into A1oN, knocking both men off the apron and into heaps on the floor.

 

“YYYYEEEEEAAAA!”

 

Judge Dudd gets up, fuming, and fires off punches at Bobbi. Of course these shots are met in kind by Bobbi, and soon enough Bobbi is able to whip her foe into the ropes. When Judge Dudd bounces back, Asscake nails her with an inverted atomic drop. Hobbled, Judge Dudd can't stop Bobbi from bouncing off the ropes then returning to smack her with a dropkick to the knees!

 

BOBBI

What's up bitch, what's that pussy do?

 

JUDGE DUDD

Fuck you!

 

BOBBI

Ho-ho-ho, wrong answer!

 

JD pays for her verbal folly as Bobbi cartwheels off the ropes, then returns to plant a dropkick directly in her challenger's face!

 

RENEE

Flashy!

 

Pained beyond belief, Judge Dudd rolls out to the safety provided by Eagle Eye and Blackhawk.

 

BOBBI

Nuh-uh-uh, boys and girls, you didn't say the safe word.

 

With no safe word having been spoken, Bobbi sails over the top with a no holds plancha and takes out A1oN and their leader!

 

“YYYYYYYYYYEEEAAAAAA!”

 

BOBBI

Thing is, I don't believe in safe words.

 

Bringing Judge Dudd to her feet, Bobbi delivers a wave of knife edge chops to the hated heel's chest. Eventually Judge Dudd reaizes she has to fight back and thus the two engage in a Japanese style forearm battle. Bobbi wins the fight and hurls, her foe into the far off guardrail.

 

JUDGE DUDD

Oooomph!

 

But, Eagle Eye is on hand to toss his ally the American flag.

 

RENEE

Now's not quite the time for patriotism!

 

Actually, Judge Dudd wants to hit Bobbi with the flag. But the world champion rushes forward and smashes a dropkick that sends Judge Dudd and old glory toppling over the guardrail and into the stands!

 

“ASSCAKE! ASSCAKE! ASSCAKE!” the fans chant for Bobbi/

 

Not appreciating the treatment of Dudd or the flag, the Ao1N moves to confront Bobbi, who's chowing on a fan's popcorn.

 

BOBBI

Eat it, chumps.

bobbi9popcorn.gif

 

BLACKHAWK

Damn you!

 

Pulling herself upright, Judge Dudd expects to have freedom from Bobbi. Imagine her shock, when the champion hip tosses over the guardrail and back to ringside. Hollering curses, Judge Dudd scrambles to her feet and rolls back into the ring. Behind her is Bobbi, who ascends to the ring apron. Asscake springboards off the ropes, but Judge Dudd comes alive and swats her out the air with a lariat!
 

“OOOOOHHHHHHHHH!”

 

COACH

I didn't like the way Bobbi landed after that.

 

Judge Dudd pitches Bobbi out of the ring, and then takes a moment to catch her own breath. After that malice floods her face, and she leaves the ring with the intent to bash Bobbi. She grabs hold of the champion by her waist, then drives her backwards into the guardrail. The fans worry, as the pain is visibile on Bobbi's face.

 

JUDGE DUDD

America! This is not your champion!

 

The moment Judge Dudd took to shout is all the moment Bobbi needs to recover and drive her foe backwards against the ring apron!

 

JUDGE DUDD

Ow! Shit!

 

BOBBI

What a dirty mouth you've got, I'm gonna clean it out.

 

BOBBI to JUDGE DUDD

KISS-cross%20ange%20tenshi%20to%20ryuu%2

 

“YYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Eagle Eye makes a move towards Bobbi, which distracts her from Judge Dudd. This is all Judge Dudd needs to seize hold of Bobbi by the waist, and then fling her against the ring apron with a German Suplex!

 

 

“OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!” the fans react over Bobbi's howls of distress.

 

BLACKHAWK

Bobbi's not an American! She's not what America is supposed to be about!

 

“SHUT UP, BLACKHAWK! SHUT UP, BLACKHAWK! SHUT UP, BLACKHAWK!”

 

BLACKHAWK

You don't silence free speech!

 

Bobbi uses that damned apron to haul herrself upright, but is immediately pounced upon by Judge Dudd. The domestic warrior hoists Bobbi up by the waist one more time, but this time drives her knee first into the steel steps!

 

RENEE

Poor Bobbi!

 

Backstage we see Maggie Nerdly chugging down the wine and taking stock of this match.

 

COACH

Think she's playing a drinking game?

 

RENEE

I'm gonna guess Maggie doesn't need games to drink.

 

Judge Dudd hoists Bobbi up once more in the shin breaker position. Yet this time she tosses her forward, throwing her leg first against the announce desk for a horrifying crash!

 

RENEE

Ahhh!

 

COACH

Dayum~!

 

BLACKHAWK

That's the pain we bring to those who disgrace our soil!

 

“SHUT UP, BLACKHAWK! SHUT UP, BLACKHAWK! SHUT UP, BLACKHAWK!”

 

Bobbi rolls off the announce desk, her face contorted with the raw agony she's suffering through. The official ask if she wants to quit, but Bobbi is a fighting champion and makes a painful return to the ring.

 

“BOBBI! BOBBI! BOBBI!”

 

The fans support doesn't help Bobbi much as she's thrown under assault by stomps to her legs from her foe. The worse comes, however, when Judge Dudd holds Bobbi in place so that Eagle Eye can SPIT on her!

 

“BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

RENEE

Hey, what was that about?!

 

“FUCK YOU, EAGLE EYE! FUCK YOU, EAGLE EYE! FUCK YOU, EAGLE EYE!”

 

Bobbi is snap mared over into a seated position by JD, and then endures a leaping double stomp to her hurt leg. Pained, Bobbi falls backwards and is pinned....

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

 

RENEE

Lorelei DeCenzo is the only female to ever lose the women's title on her first defense. Not that I think that's gonna happen to Bobbi C, but there's some food for thought.

 

Bobbi rolls into the ropes, which ought to offer a reprieve from the torture. Alas it doesn't, as Judge Dudd sits down on her injured leg to cause her immeasurable pain!

 

BLACKHAWK

This is our country! That's our women's title!

 

RENEE

Is Blackhawk so desperate for a win he'll try and Freebird rule the women's title?

 

COACH

Typical media tactic, Renee. Putting words in a good man's mouth. But I still love you, boo.

 

Judge Dudd sends Bobbi into the ropes, and when she comes back she delivers a basement dropkick that smashes Bobbi in the leg! The women's champion collapses and screams out her misery and woe.

 

“LET'S GO BOBBI! LET'S GO BOBBI! LET'S GO BOBBI!”

 

Grabbing hold of Bobbi's leg, Judge Dudd seeks out a leg lock. This move doesn't come to pass as Bobbi shoves her foe off with her good leg. Problematically for Bobbi, Judge Dudd comes back and nails her with a running DDT!

 

BLACKHAWK

This is about righting America's wrongs!

 

RENEE

Not only is he a nut, he's just plain annoying.

 

While Blackhawk rants like a loon, his manager makes the cover....

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

 

JUDGE DUDD

Count faster, moron!

 

Referee Headbanger Mosh is doubly offended, for no one has ever spoke to him like that.

 

The hated challenge delivers a wave of stomps to Bobbi's hurt legs, doing her best to bring her more pain. She then hoists Bobbi over her shoulders, and launches her leg first against the turnbuckle post! Suffering greatly, Bobbi is pinned....

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

 

Bobbi is shoved against the ring ropes, and staggers backwards, left open for the chop block her title challenge delivers to her.

 

The cover....

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

Bobbi makes the kickout!
 

 

“BOBBI! BOBBI! BOBBI!”

 

While the fans sing her foe's name, the title challenger makes the climb to the top turnbuckle.

 

BLACKHAWK

Destruction! That's what America needs!

 

Judge Dudd sails off the top rope, angling her knees and using them to pound Bobbi's hurt leg!
 

BOBBI

Ahhhhhhhhhh!

 

Judge Dudd isn't done yet, she latches onto Bobbi's leg and brings it up in order to slam it down onto the canvas! As Bobbi hollers in pain she's pinned....

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

Bobbi with the kickout!
 

 

“YYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

 

JUDGE DUDD

(to Referee Mosh)

Learn to count! Learn to count! Learn to count! You ignorant bastard!

 

MOSH

:(

 

 

Judge Dudd shoves Bobbi into the corner, and then unleashes a torrent of knife edge chops on her. But much to her amazement, Bobbi doesn't seem to mind!

 

BOBBI

Hit me baby one more time!

 

Judge Dudd summons all her rage and pops Bobbi in the face with a forearm!

 

BOBBI

Mmmm good stuff, beat me bad!

 

BLACKHAWK

Who are you, witch?

 

BOBBI

I'm an All American cute who has a major abuse feiths!

 

Judge Dudd sezies hold of Bobbi in a front facelcok and then attempts to bring her up with a vertical suplex. Yet Bobbi counters with a suplex of her own, much to Eagle Eye and Blackhawk's shock!

 

“BOBBI! BOBBI! BOBBI!”

 

More angered than hurt, Judge Dudd heads upright and makes a charge for Bobbi. She's warded off by a raised elbow. However, that doesn't stop her from charging again! This time Bobbi gets tough and crashes into her with a standign spear!

 

RENEE

Oh! Bobbi just ripped right through her honor, Coach.

 

Backstage, Maggie is still sipping on wine, still watching this match.

 

Asscake springboards off the top rope and comes down on her foe with a powerful elbow drop! Though the crowd pops, Bobbi is left hurting in her leg from that move.

 

RENEE

Don't give into the pain, Bobbi! We know you can do it, girl!

 

COACH

Easy for you to say. Who can fight on one leg?

 

Judge Dudd pulls herself upright in the corner and is faced with a charging Cheesecake. A raised boot backs her off, and with gritted teeth Judge Dudd goes on the attack. She seizes hold of Bobbi in an underhook and looks for a ddt. That move never comes as Bobbi muscles Dudd into the ropes. Asscake ducks a lariat from her foe, then reaches around and brings her down with a neckbreaker!

 

RENEE

Nice, Bobbi!

 

Judge Dudd is left riddled in agony and rolls out the ring to the comforting arms of her tag team. Bobbi sees an opportunity for violence and makes a trip to the top turnbuckle.

 

BOBBI

Better be ready for that orgy, bitches.

 

The fans marvel and gasp as Bobbi descends upon the detested heels with a swanton bomb all the way to the outside! The blond beauty crashes into her enemies, and lands perfectly sat on Blackhawk's face.

 

BOBBI

Say some shit now, little bitch! Say it to my cunt!

tumblr_ns8dglxvWz1rkiw19o1_500.gif

 

“YYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Bobbi pushes Judge Dudd back into the ring. Dazed by the attack of her foe and her sudden resurgance, Jude Dudd just lies there as Bobbi uses an asai moonsault against her!

 

Mosh drops down for the cover....

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

Shoulder up!

 

 

Backstage, Maggie continues to take an interest in the affair.

 

Bobbi hits the ropes, seeking to come back for a big attack on Judge Dudd. But, Dudd smacks her with a dropkick that shoves her into the cables. These ropes spit Bobbi back into Judge Dudd who twirls her around a tilt a whirl and finishes the move by smashing her back against the ring post!

 

“OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!” the fans react while Judge Dudd keeps hold of Bobbi.

 

BLACKHAWK

Destroy!

 

Judge Dudd carries Bobbi to the center of the ring, but Bobbi C works her way down Judge Dudd's back. Glowering in frustration, JD smacks her foe with a back elbow. She then hits the ropes, but runs herself into a spinning forearm from Bobbi. Liking that move so much, Bobbi tries again. But Judge Dudd goes behind her with a waistlock, then flings her down with a release German Suplex!

 

BLACKHAWK

Yes! Yes!

 

RENEE

Is he ever going to shut up?

 

With both girls down, referee Mosh begins his count....

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

FOUR!

 

Both Hotties pull themselves up in opposite corners, each determined to win this pivotal title match. Judge Dudd lets out a roar and darts end, but gets smashed with a raised pair of boots from Bobbi. Still Judge Dudd isn't deterred, and returns fire with a body splash! Thinking Bobbi stunned, Judge Dudd bounces off the ropes, only to get rocked by a massive big boot!

 

RENEE

Oh! That's a lot like Annagret, Bobbi's fellow Sunray.

 

The cover....

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shoulder up!

 

Bobbi goes into the ropes, but this time gets her leg clipped by Eagle Eye!
 

“BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

That's enough for Judge Dudd to take advantage and execute a single arm DDT on Bobbi!

 

RENEE

Justice is Served!

 

Rathenr than pin Bobbi, Judge Dudd decides to lift her onto the top turnbuckle. But, Bobbi isn't willing to accept the next move so easily and uses a pair of palm strikes to push Judge Dudd back. This doesn't stop Judge Dudd for long as she runs forward and smacks Bobbi across the head with a rising knee!
 

“OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

BLACKHAWK

No justice! No peace! No justice! No peace!

 

“NO BLACKHAWK! GOOD SHOW! NO BLACKHAWK GOOD SHOW! NO BLACKHAWK! GOOD SHOW!”

 

Judge Dudd climbs to the top rope with the plan on executing a dangerous move.

 

BOBBI

Stupid move, bitch.

 

Indeed it is as Bobbi traps Judge Dudd in a keylock!

 

RENEE

What's the rule on this? She's on the turnbuckle but not on the ropes.

 

BLACKHAWK

Make her break the hold!

 

Bobbi doesn't quite have the strength to hold Judge Dudd, and so Dudd sags down to the ring mat. She gathers her strength, and runs up to use her good arm to hurl Bobbi off with a top rope arm drag!

 

BLACKHAWK

Cover! Cover!

 

Judge Dudd follows the suggestion...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

Bobbi with the kickout!

 

BLACKHAWK

Mosh! I'll kill your whole family!

 

RENEE

What is wrong with this guy?

 

Judge Dudd yanks Bobbi off the mat, and fastens her into a headlock. From there she performs a lethal headlock driver!

 

“OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

RENEE

Dudd Missile!

 

Dudd hooks Bobbi's legs for the pivotal cover...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

Shoulder up!

 

 

“YYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

JUDGE DUDD

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

BLACKHAWK

Mosh! Mosh! I swear to god, everyone you love is fucking dying tonight! Fuck you, Mosh!

 

MOSH

:o

 

RENEE

This is getting way out of hand!

 

Backstage, Maggie Nerdly continues to watch this epic match play out.

 

In the ring, however, Judge Dudd has Bobbi trapped in an Electric Chair set up. That move doesn't happen thanks to Bobbi slipping out backwards. Angered, Judge Dudd throws a high knee but Asscake blocks the attack, then fires off a forearm that blasts Dudd to the mat!

 

RENEE

Ye-ouch!

 

BOBBI

Come on, whore, make that black ass shake.

 

Bobbi spreads out Judge Dudd's legs, then plops down on top of her with her own legs spread out. Bobbi then borrows a page out of Maya's book and twerks it hard, which forces Judge Dudd to twerk right along with her...

 

tumblr_nsdrc56ILb1rkiw19o1_500.gif

 

“'YYYEAAAAAAAA!”

 

RENEE

They don't call her Asscake for nothing!

 

Bobbi eventually does relent, but the damage to Judge Dudd's sense of morals is done and she's fuming mad. She pops up ready for a brawl, but gets rocked with a knife edge chop that sends her stumbling back to the ropes. Dudd makes an amazing recovery, though and returns to hammer Bobbi with a big boot!

 

 

Its a big boot that misses thanks to Bobbi performing a deft side step. Panicked, Judge Dudd turns around and steps right into a fall away Samoan drop!

 

“YYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

RENEE

50 Shades of Purple!

 

Bobbi hooks the leg for the crucial pin....

 

 

CROWD

ONE!

 

 

 

 

CROWD

TWO!

 

 

BLACKHAWK PUTS JUDGE DUDD'S FOOT ON THE ROPES!!!

 

 

BUT REFEREE MOSH DOESN'T SEE IT!
 

 

 

CROWD

THREE!

 

 

DING DING DING

 

 

BUFFER

Your winner and STILL OAOAST Women's Champion...BOBBI CHEESECAKE!

 

“YYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

RENEE

What a great match! And what a great defense for Bobbi!

 

COACH

But, Mosh fucked up. Blackhawk and Eagle Eye gonna have that boy on Nancy Grace looking all kinds of ugly.

 

Bobbi stands up and recieves her title with a warm smile that isn't terribly fitting for her dominatrix role. Still, the champ is happy and relieved to be victorious.

 

But her joy ends in a violent and disturbing manner, when MAGGIE NERDLY smashes her wine bottle in the back of Bobbi's head!

 

OAOAST GALAXY

:o

 

RENEE

Hey! Hey! What did she just do? Why did she do that to Bobbi?

 

Maggie stands with a snarl above a defeated and seriously injured champion. Behind her Blackhawk slides into the ring, pleased with what he sees.

 

BLACKHAWK

America stands-

 

Maggie smashes what's left of the bottle against Blackhaw's face!

 

“OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

BLACKHAWK

Arrrrgggh!

 

The scene is pure chaos with officials now having to restrain Eagle Eye from getting after Maggie. The villian herself doesn't concern herself with Eagle Eye, rather she rasies the title above her head and frowns as we....

 

FADE OUT

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