Chanel #99 Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3D RENEE You are live with OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I am Renee Young with bald America's hero, Da Coach. COACH What's good, OAOAST Galaxy? ***Elimination Chamber Qualifer: Simon Singleton W/Molly Nerdly Vs Big Papa Thrust W/The Freakazoids and Malaysia Nerdly*** RENEE Now here's an exciting match Sophie made for us! Only one of these two guys can go to AngleSlam for the Elimination Chamber. Big Papa Thrust tried to show his strength right off the bat by pressing Simon into the air. But Double S escaped the attack, and used one of BPT's moves, a side belly to belly against him. BUSTY You bastard! Busty got on the ring apron and referee Nunzio (!!) had to get her down. Big Papa Thrust pulled out a pair of brass knucks and it looked like this match was about to end early! RENEE Look out, Simon! Simon did look out and cracked Big Papa Thrust with an enziguri right as he tried to use the brass knucks. The weapon went flying to the outside so Nunzio didn't see it. But its not like things calmed down any more as the two men begin a back and forth brawl. Simon hit a snap DDT, which caused Ohlala and Busty to get on the apron and distract the official. While this was going on PHECDA and AL HOUD arrived and slipped the brass knucks to BPT! RENEE What do they think they're doing! A KO punch from Big Papa Thrust floored Simon Singleton, and when the referee got back to the action he had no choice but to give BPT a win from a Lay-Z-Boy. Winner: Big Papa Thrust, via referee stoppage. Phecda and Al Houd stood atop the entrance ramp with microphone's pressed to their lips. PHECDA Molly Nerdly. AL HOUD For sins against Pretty Young Money the punishment has began. PHECDA Never shall it end. The camera cuts back to Molly, who is seething with raw rage, but has to check on Simon rather than go to confront Phecda and Al Houd. RENEE Molly refused to make a Pretty Young Money film, and is that was this is all about? She's not their slave! COACH Simon would be better off if she was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 *** The Challenge: The Scumbag Reformation Project vs. Hood Again w/ Marcellus *** Coming off their first defeat not just of the tournament but their OAOAST careers, Hood Again bounced back strong with a total beat down of the Scumbags. How bad? Anson busted his lip and The Rizzo received a shiner after a wild back elbow! The Scumbags were put out of their misery (with The Rizzo taking the fall) following an Isolated Incident. Winners: Hood Again, via pinfall (2:17). RENEE On the bright side, the Scumbags don’t have to worry about their new ride getting repossessed this week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 Backstage at the world famous interview lounge, OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood chatted with SPENCER REIGER who finally broke his silence after saving Blaine Cayley's sister Samantha from OAOAST U.S. Champion Logan Mann and Holly a couple of weeks ago. Spencer played the Good Samaritan card, but SJU had none of it. SARA JEAN Give it to me straight. SPENCER (exasperated) I did! You saw Logan and Holly moving in on Sammi. With Blaine laid out there's no telling what they would've done to her. So I stepped in. SARA JEAN Spence, babe. I know a thing or two about guys. There was something else there. Something between you and Sammi. SPENCER Yeah, the ropes. SARA JEAN Mm-hmm. You know what I mean. You could cut the tension with a knife. SPENCER (checks around for Gloss) Are you trying to get me killed? I'm a married man! SARA JEAN And that's not even the big story. (into camera) Crazy isn't it, ladies? SPENCER You be crazy. I'm just here to do an interview and you're going all TMZ on me. All you need to know there's more to me than you think. SARA JEAN No kidding. SPENCER I have feelings too, you know. SARA JEAN Like for Sammi? SPENCER Like for S-- SARA JEAN SPENCER Logan Mann, I'm coming for you and your U.S. Title. Wanna teach me a lesson, huh? Well I checked your Wiki page and you don't have a teachers license, punk! Yeah, I called you a punk. And I'm gonna punk your ass... bitch! "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COACH WHAAAA...? RENEE I guess there is more to Spencer than we've seen in the past. He's actually showing fighting spirit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 **The Challenge: Warthog and Sonic JR W/Carl MacDonald Vs The Party Brigade W/Amberlyn Duncan*** The game ends here, the structures fall Collapsing walls, I'll let you know this time A curtain call, the final thoughts To end it all so now you know you're mine Your worst nightmare You'll work for your soul here, and I said It's not what you wanted But you'll get hung, drawn and quartered in here With “Slaughterhouse” by KillSonik blasting, the SH crew entered with Warthog snorting behind his warthog mask, Carl clad in all white suit and white top hat with monocle, and Sonic JR getting some respect from the fans. RENEE These guys looking to follow in Deuce's footsteps, who shocked the world when he captured DVD's HARD title. COACH No shock there in my book. Deuce is tough bastard, and Japanese wrestling is made for tough bastards. I've seen you in a fight you lost, I've seen you in a fight We're under the sheets And you're killing me In our house made of paper, Your words all over me We're under the sheets The Party Brigade entered to “Under The Sheets” by Ellie Goulding sporting somber faces as they knew how important this match was. RENEE This match is so huge for The Party Brigade. If they lose they drop to zero wins and four big losses, and that's a huge hole to be in. The Party Brigade took the fight to their foes early, as Riggs paired off with Warthog and Piercey D took on Sonic Jr. Much to Amberlyn's delight Pierce hit the Bro Train on Sonic and then caught Warthog with back suplex into a face crusher! PIERCE CHA-CHING! Carl and Sonic dragged a dizzy Warthog out of the ring as we went to break. COMMERCIAL Back from back Warthog and Riggs were dueling in the ring. A missed grounded headbutt by Warthog, allowed Riggs to get the tag into Pierce. The Duncan kid showed his stuff, blocking Warthog's Meathook Lariat then delivering a lariat of his own followed by a fist pump elbow drop. PIERCE BOOOOOOOOM! A blind tag brought Sonic into the ring, and he got a smattering of applause from the fans. Sonic tried a spirngboard DDT but got caught by Pierce and tossed onto the ring apron. CARL Come on, Lancel! Lancel Locke aka Sonic Jr did come on as he hit a slingshot cutter on Pierce! RENEE Sonic Screamer! Sonic then wowed the audience by hitting a pair of standing shooting star presses that got a close two count. Warthog was itching to get back into the ring, and tagged himself in, however. SONIC Warthog showed his own high flying ability by hitting a middle rope splash on Pierce. But Pierce was able to kick out of the pinfall. WARTHOG **snorts** Warthog worked over Pierce's midsection for a good while, with Amberlyn and Riggs rooting Pierce on. Their support helped Pierce avoid the Chainsaw Elbow Drop, and Pierce rolled into the corner to tag in Riggs. RENEE The pressure is on, Party Brigade! Right after Riggs got the pin, Warthog rolled off and got tagged by Sonic. WARTHOG Riggs and Sonic slugged it out, with Sonic going for a springboard cross body to try and win out. But Riggs countered with a powerslam, who's pin was broken up by Carl distracting referee Shawn Stasiak! RENEE You need to pay attention, Meat! Warthog came back to life and delivered a lethal Meat Hook lariat to Riggs that knocked him out of the ring. The Queens, NY native then picked on Pierce, but Pierce shocked him by press slamming him out of the ring! “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” PIERCE Drop the mic, that's right. Or the Warthog. The metaphorical Warthog. What ever works. Reps for Israel! Sonic came after Pierce, but before he could hit him Riggs connected with a big spear! That huge move was all Riggs needed to secure a pin for the victory! Winner: The Party Brigade, via pinfall (via pinfall 11:31) RENEE That's it! The Party Brigade has one in the win column! WARTHOG ***snorts*** COACH He don't look happy. Warthog wasn't happy, Coach. The beast from Queens came in and delivered a double lariat to the back of The Party Brigade's head to catch them unaware. AMBERLYN What was that for? A pair of Chainsaw elbow drops were delivered to Pierce's noggin, while Riggs suffered Warthog's finisher of a DVD onto a knee. CARL (to Amberlyn) My apologies, miss. Its so hard to tame wild animals. WARTHOG **snorts** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 *** U.S. Title: Spencer Reiger vs. Logan Mann © w/ Holly *** Before the opening bell rang we saw Blaine and Samantha Cayley watching on a monitor backstage, with a noticably peeved Blaine promising his paternal twin sibling he wouldn't interfere even though another crack at the title he was never pinned for is still very much on his mind. Unlike Blaine, Holly had no issues interfering. First she tripped up Spencer to allow Logan to ambush him in the beginning. Then later on she clawed Spencer's back as Logan distracted the ref. But Spencer would fight back and score a near fall after countering a Liberation DDT into a Northern Lights Suplex. Not too long after Logan gets hit with the Reiger Counter... only for Holly to pull he ref outside at 2 1/2. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" RENEE Oh! We were moments away from crowing a new United States Champion if not for Holly! Backstage, Sammi watched nervously, looking back at Blaine who remained seated. He promised not to interfere, remember? As Spencer and Holly exchanged words, Logan removed a CHAIN clipped to his pants and wrapped it around his fist. RENEE OH NO! COACH You can say that again. Some idiot fan just threw a chain in the ring! Logan closed in for the killshot when TANNER NEPTUNE lept into the ring to snatch the chain! SAMMI (looks at Blaine) Blaine shrugs. COACH There's that idiot fan who threw the chain into the ring! RENEE Please! Although you can bet Tanner hasn't forgotten about how Logan tried to humiliate him following their match a few weeks ago. His fist wrapped, Tanner charged forward only to be spotted by Logan who covers up and ducks, causing Tanner to stop in his tracks as Spencer turns around. SPENCER Now face-to-face with Spencer with Logan kneeled before him and his chain wrapped fist cocked, Tanner's face becomes filled with RAGE~! Then in a move that catches EVERYBODY off-guard Tanner decks Spencer! SAMMI BLAINE Sammi glances over her shoulder to find Blaine stone-faced. RENEE That was a quick attitude change. Tanner flees as Logan capitalizes on the situation to pickup the win. COACH Excellent!Winner: Logan Mann, via pinfall. After the match Logan taunts Spencer when OSCAR FRIBERG hits the ring and kicks ass! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" RENEE Oscar won't stand for anyone trying to bully one of his friends! COACH Bully? Logan was only taunting fools. Oscar whips Logan in for a big move, but Logan hooks the bottom rope and bails as Oscar holds the U.S. Title high. LOGAN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 COLING MAGUIRE SR'S COMPOUND Boston, MA Inside the main board room of Maguire Sr's compound, the man himself stands over a table which is surrounded by henchmen, and his main goons in Celtic Gothic. MAGUIRE SR How can I not become angry given the situation. COULTER Well now, I look at it like this- MAGUIRE SR I do not care how you look it, Coulter. The boy lives. The boy lives! FLYNN Relax, we'll find him. MAGUIRE SR You say that, but you do not do that. Words are easy to come by, but their actions harder to fufill. COULTER Um, look it, your wife is back to life, okay? So let's call it a wash. MAGUIRE SR A wash, you say. That wife of mine...traitor! Betrayal! I did not mourn her for twenty six years so that she may return and seek my end, when I only sought to avenge her. I will kill that boy in front of her! Maguire Sr's words are full of flames, explosive words that match the sudden explosion of the window behind him! Glass crashes and rains upon, Maguire Sr as the henchmen jump up in fear and dismay. FLYNN Get down, sir! COULTER Yikes, that's magic! That's gotta be from Angel. Shrugging aside the protection of his henchmen and allies, Maguire Sr leans out the destroyed window. His face is aflame with red fury. MAGUIRE SR I will kill your son, Angel! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 *** The Challenge: The Playmakers w/ Rick Heyross vs. The Time Killers *** The only undefeated team left in the tournament, the Playmakers came in still riding high off their big victory last week over Hood Again. Likewise for the popular Time Killers duo of Marty Fox and Doc White who picked up their first win as a team defeating the Scumbag Reformation Project. But they knew going into their match this week that they’d be the heavy underdogs against the former 3-time OAOAST tag champs. A lesson they learned early as the Playmakers experience kept them one step ahead of their opponents. COACH It’s like the Playmakers know what The Time Killers are gonna do before they do it. RENEE Heyross has stated this type of tournament suit’s the Playmakers more than any team in the OAOAST… and he may be right. Their ability to put together a game plan gives them quite an advantage. COACH Yeah. All the other teams are basically winging it. Not the Playmakers. Dudes usin’ their brains over brawn. Schooled on the mat and taunted, the Time Killers regrouped and began taking it to the Playmakers using their speed and quick striking double-team offense. Then it was the Playmakers turn to regroup with Heyross. What followed produced the best match of the tournament by far. High impact moves -- many of which of the double-team variety -- near falls galore, including a crazy finishing sequence which saw Moss deliver a release overhead German Suplex on Marty… who landed on his feet to execute a REVERSE FRANKENSTEINER! But NO! Moss stood his ground and gripped Marty’s legs tight, leaning forward to return the Time Killer back onto his shoulders! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” RENEE What strength! QB1 then climbed to the top looking to hit 3 Yards & A Cloud of Dust… but Doc shoved him off the top to the floor and CLOTHESLINED MARTY, pushing his partner’s momentum forward, allowing Marty to take Moss down with a VICTORY ROLL for the 1-2-3! “YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" HEYROSS, MOSS & QB1 COACH No way! RENEE Yes way! They did it! The Time Killers have defeated the previously unbeaten Playmakers in The Challenge! The biggest win in their young careers! Doc and Marty celebrate and high-five numerous members of the OAOAST Galaxy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 ***The Challenge: Big IQ Vs The Christ Air Express*** For this match, Pierette Saint-Nerdregard forced herself upon Gretchen and Sofa Central! PIERETTE Kk, girls and boys, and trans and neutrals, The Cinderella From The Garden of Slaughter has arrived with her bestie lezzie, Gretchen Wright! GRETCHEN I am no associate of yours! And certainly not in the boudoir. RENEE You do have a team name, though. PIERETTE The Rad, the Fab & the Bad! RENEE And you are champions. COACH Sounds associated to me. GRETCHEN When I wish to hear your opinion, Johnathan...I will kill myself for the crime of being a damn fool! PIERETTE Kkkyyyeeeaaah! There's that cutting wit that makes her a tiger in the boudoir! I used a fancy word too! Did everyone hear? As for the actual match, the pairs showed great respect for one another by shaking hands. ICE QUIZ Any dudes who puff that good shit are cool in my book. WRIGHT Though, I do not partake, I did enjoy the stoner comedy Half Baked. You gentlemen are fine performers also. MARV Right back atcha. MARV and Wright started the match, showcasing some Japanese inspired technical wrestling. The two men tussled over a simple headlock for what seemed like a minute. While the crowd appreciated it, Pierette did not. PIERETTE Booooooring! I thought this was supposed to be like a reality show? I wanna see dudes hang on bananas and fall in pits of sharks when they can't hang on anymore. GRETCHEN Stay silent, ill mannered beast. PIERETTE Oh oh oh, dominate me with your word bombs, Gretchen! After the headlock sequence was over, Wright and MARV traded arm drags and hip tosses. But Wright had a plan and he got tossed into his corner he made the tag with Ice Quiz. COACH I don't think we'll see any headlock sequences out of Ice Quiz. MARV threw himself at Ice Quiz, but couldn't beat back or beat down the hip hop mogul. The skater wound up getting dumped in the corner and hit with the dreaded ten punches, then pinned for a two count. RENEE So, you two, Fairly Odd Vamps want a title shot out of you, which is why Lyric attacked Gretchen last week. What do you have to say about that? GRETCHEN Ladies do not start fights, but we certainly can finish them. PIERETTE Feel the Refined Aggression from the Monarch of Posh! MARV got the tag to MEL, and the two used the power of being twins to confound Ice Quiz. So lost was Ice Quiz that he by himself staggered into a Double Happy Ending! COACH Man, you gotta be high as fuck to walk into a double team finisher. ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! ICE QUIZ HAD THE KICKOUT! PIERETTE He steals black people's culture and he steals victory from the jaws of defeat, but I still wouldn't fuck him. Gretchen would, though, she would. GRETCHEN Whaaaaaat? Remove such base accusations from your mind! I would not engage in intimate actions with Martin Andrews were my very survival dependent on the insertion of his penis into my sex. PIERETTE Drrrrty talking Gretchen, I love it! The twins took turns beating on Ice Quiz, who was just thankful to still be conscious. MEL's top rope hurricanrna effort was a high risk zero reward that ended the CAE attack when IQ reversed it into a powerbomb. From there, the big man got the tag to Christian! “YYYYYEAAAAAAAA!” Christian was distracted by the arrival of two lovely ladies, TITANIA NERDLY and LYRIC DELACEY RENEE Fairly Odd Vamps! WRIGHT D-e-licious! Christian got brought in the hard way by the CAE, and faced an uphill batttle. WRIGHT Oh, the pains I suffer for my love of the female form! Meanwhile, Lyric and Titania stopped by Sofa Central. TITANIA Hi, cousin, Pierette. PIERETTE Hi, third world adoption baby! GRETCHEN How dare you arrive upon this announce desk, it isn't Petco, you shan't get your muzzle fitted. TITANIA Ah! That was a joke on my werewolf form! A thousand curses at you, Gretchen. LYRIC Relax, relax, who wants to pick a fight with the mighty Posh and Ginger Spice? RENEE Umm, there's still a match going on. But with all these Nerdly kids and cousins and nieces I feel like its a family reunion. Wright managed to hit a Wright Off on MARV, but hit it too close to the CAE corner, and MEL made a quick tag. The other Nerdly came into the ring with a flying tornado DDT that got a two count on his opponent. Wright tried to fight back, but his superkick was avoided, and he got cracked with an enziguri for another two count. LYRIC My my, the lad taking the beating is a handsome bloke. I'd take him out back behind Denny's and have my Irish way with him. GRETCHEN Unacceptable! You'll keep your mits away from my brother, lest you want them residing in the same dumpster fire as your class. Back in the ring, MARV had Wright in an abdominal stretch, but got lax with it and Wright reversed it into a hip toss. MARV shot back up, which was the exact wrong thing to do as Wright scored with a superkick. With a clear path to his corner, Wright got the hot tag to Ice Quiz! TITANIA Pull up your pants, Ice Quiz, before the underwear gremlins come! LYRIC What planet do you come from? Ice Quiz tore through MARV with a pair of lariats, but soon had to deal with a missile dropkick from MEL. Now recovered, MARV joined his brother in leaping up with a double happy ending but Ice Quiz shoved them both off. Still he had to contend with two Nerdlys until Wright come in with a top rope cross body to take all three men out! PIERETTE Kyyyeeeeeeeh all this sexual tension gives me the kind of idea that makes the front page of St.Louis Post Dispatch! BOOM! PIERETTE STRUCK LYRIC WITH A PUNCH! LYRIC Pierette then grabbed Gretchen and made a run through it, through the ring at that! And Lyric gave chase, which made Titania give chase, also through the ring. Distracted by their niece and cousin rushing past, MARV and MEL took a big boot from Ice Quiz and a Kiss From a Rose (gordbuster) by Wright respectively. They were then double pinned to eat the loss! Winner: Big IQ, via pinfall (13:34) COACH That Pierette! That crazy ginger! She's gonna ruin this tournament! RENEE You know I'll give major props to Big IQ they didn't get distracted and they seized the moment. Now they've got the same record as MARV and MEL, which puts them soooo close to the top. Not bad for a days work. WEEK 4 STANDINGS (Top 2 records advance to Finals at ANGLESLAM) Playmakers 3-1 Big IQ 3-1 Hood Again 3-1 CAE 3-1 Time Killers 2-2 Sonic & Warthog 1-3 The Party Brigade 1-3 Scumbag Reformation Project 0-4 FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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