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OAOAST TMW: A comedy/erotic e-fed

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 6/26/62015


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OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-

-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-

-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-

BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZVoq2SZfu0

RENEE

Welcome to the final HeldDOWN before The Great Angle Bash, and it promises to be a rip roaring night full of action and adventure! I'm Renee Young, and right beside me is the loudest bald man this side of Steve Wilkos, Da Coach!

COACH

Word up. Let's send it to the ring!

OAOAST Original & Hall of Famer Tony Brannigan stands mid-ring with OAOAST boss Sophie Grey. Together they proudly announce a special HeldDOWN~! on the 4th of July telecast to kick off THE CHALLENGE: OAOAST IRON MAN TAG TOURNAMENT.

One-half of the legendary Black T tag team, Brannigan spoke of his past tag experiences and noted it's nothing compared to what the 8 teams selected will go through over the next two months. He then ran down the rules: round robin, meaning every team will face each other once in a 15 minute time limit match; top 2 teams with the best record at the end of the group stage will advance to the finals. As for the grand prize, Sophie chimed in saying the OAOAST Galaxy would have to tune in next week to find out, but that it's a twist that'll make it worth everyone's while and one you wouldn't believe.

Sophie and Tony took turns announcing the participants, introducing them before the live crowd.

Big IQ

Christ Air Express

The Party Brigade

Sonic & Warthog

The Playmakers

Doc White & Marty Fox

Winner of the Army of 1 Nation/Hood Again tag title match at the GAB (only teams not to appear live)

But before they could announce the final team, the Scumbag Reformation Project angrily hit the ring to cut a promo on the selection committee (Tony and Sophie) and the newly formed team of Doc and Marty, calling them a couple of "time killers" who'd "go down faster than my ex" according to The Rizzo.

THE RIZZO

How youse could pick them over us hardworking middle class citizens who gotta hustle and bustle for everything we got and need... it blows my mind! I mean just look at them. I bet they went to college. On daddy's dime too!

ANSON

Only dime my daddy cared about was his dime bag.

The jabs didn't stop with Doc and Marty, the SRP also knocked the rest of the field! It was then Sophie informed the Scumbag Reformation Project that they were indeed the final team chosen for the tournament, causing them much embarrassment. The guys tried to soothe things over but Sophie, pissed for having been interrupted, told them to get out of her ring before she decided to change her mind about them being included.

SOPHIE

Perhaps zee Masked Mutants are still free, M. Brannigan.

THE RIZZO & ANSON

:o

The guys bolted quickly. And it's a good thing they did as the other teams looked ready to pounce on them.

COMMERCIAL

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*** J.Riggs w/ Piercey D & Amberlyn Duncan vs. “The King of Bronies” Daisuke Motozaki ***

Hours away from his scheduled gauntlet match at the Great Angle Bash against Slaughterhouse, the King of Bronies (KOB for short) decided to get in one final workout, if you will, defeating J.Riggs in a competitive bout with the Rainbow Dash Mash shining wizard. During portions of the match Piercey D and Amberlyn were virtually mesmerized by the flamboyant grace of Dice-M, perhaps still mindfucked after the KOB acknowledged Piercey D prior to the match for wearing a Dr. Whooves shirt.

Winner: Daisuke Motozaki, via pinfall.

 

nside OAOAST HQ Terry Taylor was sat with Colin Maguire SR to discuss his GAB match with Ivar The Cunning. Despite Ivar being much older than him, Mister Maguire dismissed him outright.

 

MAGUIRE SR

He is a baser creature.

 

TAYLOR

But he is the founder of vampirism.

 

MAGUIRE

He is the founder of species of pest. I am near the gods. I am what he wishes to be, but never will. Not only is he a pest but he is a fool to ally himself with my son. Ivar's death will send a message to Colin; you will never be safe.

 

GREAT ANGLE BASH

LIVE FROM SAN ANTONIO, TX

THIS SUNDAY!

COMMERCIAL

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Sugar cut an in ring promo about her GAB women's title match against Bobbi Cheesecake.

 

SUGAR

I ain't come this far, held this title for this long, to drop it all suddenly like to some punk kid fresh out of pampers!

 

RENEE

She's one to talk!

 

Sugar noted she had a wealth of backup that Bobbi didn't have.

 

SUGAR

I got Melissa and Anastasia, who adore me. I got Phecda and Al Houd, and I got Spencer who's got a big crush on me but is too much of a coward to tell nobody. And I got the Keyboard Warriors. That's right, the Keyboard Warriors. Thanks for all that you do, guys, you make this country a safer place, and you're gonna make my title reign go on and on and on and on until the break of dawn. WHOOOOOOO~!

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Backstage at the world famous interview lounge, OAOAST U.S. Champion Logan Mann (along with Holly) is OUTRAGED~!, reminding correspondent/OAOAST Hottie Sara Jean Underwood who’s the champ.

LOGAN
As such, I expect some privileges. Like getting to choose my own partners in tag matches!

SJU bought up this wouldn’t be the first time Logan was asked to team with Big Papa Thrust and Alexander The Brutal.

SARA JEAN
You guys even won!

HOLLY
And once again you confirm what everybody knows: you weren’t hired for your brains. Logan wasn’t asked--

LOGAN
I was forced to team with them. And to forced to tag with them again just hours before I gotta defend my U.S. Title against Tanner Neptune, one of boss lady’s pet projects.

SARA JEAN
Pet projects? Tanner was granted a return title match after that farce a couple weeks back.

LOGAN
Yeah, involving another one of Sophie’s pets, Blaine. She’s hungry for that tween money and will do everything in her power to make sure Team SCREAM succeeds. But sweet dreams can turn into a nightmare in a real hurry. And it’s gonna be a nightmare for Tanner Neptune this Sunday on pay-per-view at the Great Angle Bash.

 

COMMERCIAL

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Before our next match OAOAST Hall of Famer Terry Taylor interviewed Alexander The Brutal. The Modern Day Gladiator couldn’t give a shit about Logan’s unhappiness teaming with himself and BPT.

ALEXANDER
I don’t like it any better than him, but I get paid to fight. Friend or foe. It doesn’t matter. But what matters is getting screwed over the U.S. Title not once but twice. And in each instance there stood one man in my path -- Blaine Cayley. But tonight is just the appetizer, sunshine. I’ll serve you the main course at the Great Angle Bash.

 

*** Big Papa Thrust, Alexander The Brutal & OAOAST U.S. Chanpion Logan Mann w/ Holly & The Freakazoids vs. Baron Windels, Blaine Cayley & Tanner Neptune w/ Samantha Cayley ***

In an action packed 6-man that saw all the feuding parties paired off at some point, the team of BW, Blaine and Tanner emerged victorious when Tanner caught Logan coming off the top with a double axe handle and hit a belly-to-belly face buster (Too Tan to Fail) for the pin as the others brawled around the ring.

Winners: Baron Windels, Blaine Cayley & Tanner Neptune

An exuberant Tanner looked to give Sammi a kiss in celebration, but she moved and gave him a hug instead. And blueballs.

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St.Archibald's School for Bad Girls did a podium interview with OAO Hall of Famer Tony Brannigan to talk about their women's tag title match at GAB. The girls channeled the Young Bucks with one of their comments.

 

SABRINA

We're inviting everyone to a Loser Kick party at Great Angle Bash.

 

BRANNIGAN

A loser kick party?

 

AISLING

(in robot voice)

Statement: Gretchen and Pierette are being labeled as losers by us. Threat: We will kick them. Conclusion: It will be a party.

 

SABRINA

A Loser Kick party!

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In a pre-taped interview done in a junkyard filmed by Judge Dudd, the Ao1N remarked how this is what their country had become but not to worry because they've decided to forgive her and all of us for turning our backs on them.

"We fight for you!"

According to the guys, Hood Again took their titles and their pride, embarrassing them in the process, but now they're back to reclaim their titles and take HA's pride.

"We've already embarrassed you. Now we take your pride and home the gold at the Great Angle Bash."

Backstage, OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood caught up with OAOAST tag champs Hood Again and their manager/uncle Marcellus for reaction which was short and to the point.

MARCELLUS
You know what? I'm gonna sit back and let my nephews handle this one.

MOSES
The only thing they gonna take home is an ass whoopin'!

KAWHI
Indubitably.

 

COMING UP NEXT

BRIAN TRAVIS KIDD VS THE XFL

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***Brain Travis Kidd Vs The XFL***

An old rivarly was renewed, but conspcious by his absence was Rick Heyross. These two enemies gave each other a hell of a fight, with BTK never backing down to the former AngleMania maineventer. It looked like The XFL might have the win with a Long Bomb, but BOHEMOTH entered the ring and hit him from behind with a lariat!

 

Winner: The XFL, via DQ

 

Post-match, Bohemoth delviered no less than five lariats to leave The XFL laid out in a broken heap.

 

BOHEMOTH

I'M THE MAN!

 

Gathered in front of King Landon's castle outside of Madrid, Spain are Dem Bums, Papa Duncan and COD.

 

Unfortunate for them they're opposed by 60 mounted knights, 100 infantry not to mention the Kings Guard as well as the King himself.

 

KING LANDON

Begone!

 

TONY

That's that, let's get the fuck outta here.

 

KRISTA

Give us Queen Esther!

 

KING LANDON

Never!

 

TONY

They're gonna rape us! I've read Game of Thrones.

 

ALIX

Read?

 

TONY

….Vinny read me wiki summaries.

 

KING LANDON

Get off my lands or suffer! And watch Esther suffer!

 

ALIX

Hol up, sucka, let's parley this shit.

 

KING LANDON

No parley!

 

ALIX

A tag match at Great Angle Bash, for the world title sort of. If your team wins you get the belt. Buuuuut if me and Krissy kick renaissance fair butt you hand over our fairy god mother.

 

KING LANDON

No!
 

KRISTA

Do you ever want to be the world champion again?

 

NORTHSTAR

Your grace this would be a light challenge for you and I.

 

KING LANDON

It would. Yes, it would. Good, good. I accept! I accept! I accept! Now get off my lands, before I become less kind!

 

King Landon sweeps himself in the cover of his force, with the faces having to retreat less they be overwhelmed.

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