Chanel #99 Posted June 15, 2015 Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3D RENEE Its going to be a knock down drag out night for OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I'm Renee Young here beside Da Coach! Prior to the match a new segment called AS SEEN ON OAOAST TV aired with a clip from OAOAST SYN where Logan Mann cut an in-ring promo accepting Tanner Neptune's challenge from last week's HeldDOWN~! LOGAN I'll show you what it's like to be around a real man, boy. Then maybe, just maybe, you'll quit acting like Little Red Riding Hood is your sister and make a damn move. But after stepping in the ring with me you won't be able to do at all!*** U.S. Title Match: Tanner Neptune vs. Logan Mann © w/ Holly *** Chaos ensued before the match even began as BLAINE CAYLEY and sister Samantha showed up. Blaine announced the real champ was here and that he'd sub for Tanner. LOGAN & TANNER BLAINE After all, I am entitled to a rematch. And just like a wise man once said, nobody ever pinned me for the title. LOGAN Tanner tried to reason with Blaine bringing up his injured arm that we saw was heavily taped upon the removal of his trenchcoat. Blaine would hear none of it and told Tanner to stand outside. But just as things were about set to go, ALEXANDER THE BRUTAL decided to make his presence felt. Knowing the Modern Day Gladitator was coming for him, Blaine launched a preemptive strike FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE and onto Alexander outside. Except ATB caught Blaine midair and gave him THE SWORD OF DAMOCLES ONTO THE RING STEPS!! COACH DAYUM~! SAMMI Tanner came to his fellow Team SCREAM members aid and unloaded on ATB... only to be struck by a double axe handle smash courtesy of Logan. RENEE Things have gotten out of the control and the match hasn't even started! Logan and ATB then proceeded to do a number on Tanner! COACH What the heck? Suddenly the two longtime rivals noticed what was happening and took a long hard look at each other. RENEE What do you suppose is running through their minds right now? Before we could find out what would happen next, the rest of Team SCREAM led by Oscar Friberg charged ringside, sending Logan for higher ground while ATB stood his. Oscar gave him an earful but ATB kept his composure and then walked away without saying a word.Winner: No contest. 8 teams. All face each other one time in round robin competition. Tops 2 teams with best record after group stage advance to finals. One GRAND prize. And a twist you won't believe! Are you ready for...THE CHALLENGE: OAOAST IRON MAN TAG TOURNAMENT Opening night, July 4th. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Des Moines, IA Traversing the streets of a middle class neighborhood, oddly out in the open are Angel Maguire and her son, Colin Maguire JR. COLIN This is pointless. ANGEL Everything is pointless to you. You are the ultimate nihilist. COLIN Who are you to offer a philosophical take on my opinions? ANGEL Uh, your mother? COLIN We shouldn't be traipsing about fly over country with the tom, dick and harrys of the world. Our goal should be engage my father, your husband, in open combat. ANGEL He's immortal remember? COLIN I'd sooner die with the blood of my foes staining my hands, than the grease of a burger from Five Guys! ANGEL Mmmm, that'd be good right now. By the way we're here. Angel gives a rather musical knock on the front door of a ranch home. The door parts to show a handsome man in his mid twenties with a shag of blond hair resting on his head, and a lean physique held under track pants and a red tank top. COLIN Your bedtime indiscretions are yours and yours alone, they do not concern me, mother. ANGEL Get your mind out of the gutter, Colin. Are Amber and Jack here? MAN They went to Wendy's. COLIN Is there nothing to consume in this town beyond fatty foodstuffs and fatty truckers? ANGEL We'll wait here for them. COMMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 *** “The Warthog“ Jack Wendy w/ C.A.M. vs. “The King of Bronies” Daisuke Motozaki *** In his first bout since being put through a table by Deuce Deuce Bigelow at School’s Out, the King of Bronies defeated the Warthog with the Rainbow Dash Mash. Although victory seemed far from certain after Slaughter leader Deuce appeared ringside halfway during the match. Afterwards Dice-M invited Deuce inside, but the Flame-Boiled Whopper declined, cracking a slight smile at the request.Winner: Daisuke Motozaki, via pinfall. TO THE BACK~!, where DOC WHITE and newcomer MARTY FOX chatted in the locker room. MARTY Gee, I don’t know Doc. A tag team? DOC Precisely Marty! My calculations for stardom are correct. *pulls out his “formula” written on a sheer of paper* A recipe for success I tell you! MARTY But Doc, no offense -- you haven’t even won a match! So just how success is your formula? *grabs Doc’s paper* I mean Doc, all it says is “tall, white, buff” and a bunch of dollar signs. DOC Ah, that’s where everything went wrong. I’m a lifelong wrestling fan Marty, just like you. It’s all I ever wanted to do since I was a kid. Naturally, in today’s society, everybody wants to be the star -- the one -- but not everyone will or is. MARTY That’s heavy stuff Doc. DOC But everyone can play a role. I started realizing this a few weeks back and it struck me like lightning when I met you last week. Let’s face it. We’re not the strongest guys on the roster, nor the biggest. But together we stand over 12 feet tall and built like a Transformer! We can be tag specialists! MARTY Because everybody wants to be “the one”. DOC Precisely! The tag division is where we could make the biggest impact! MARTY I think you’ve found yourself a partner Doc. Thrilled, Doc smiles. The two shake hands. DOC Tell me Marty. Have you ever considered wrestling bare-assed? MARTY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 OAOAST HQ Malibu, CA Lingering out in the hallways leading up to the head of security's office are Congressman Duncan and his eldest child, Krista Isadora Duncan. Their obviously in the process of enacting a scheme. PAPA DUNCAN We gotta mess up your hair a bit. KRISTA What? Why? PAPA DUNCAN Its the just just fucked look. All the girls are wearing it these days, from Skid Row to Skid Row in San Diego. KRISTA Those are homeless women, dad. PAPA DUNCAN Nothing is sexier than a woman willing to fuck for a meal. Trust me. And if you give off that look to this security guy, we'll get the scoops on where King Landon went off with Queen Esther. Now I'd hate to say this, but are breasts big enough for this sort of thing? KRISTA Their bigger than both our heads. Combined. Multiplied. By ten. PAPA DUNCAN Tony said he'd give me one of his Garbage Pail cards if I got you to let him squeeze em. KRISTA Am I being pimped out for a drawing of a baby in a trash heap? PAPA DUNCAN Come on, do it for, daddy. KRISTA We'll talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 Outside in the parking garage, The XFL is looking to get an early start on the after party and his heading to his limo when he's stop by Sophie. SOPHIE Xavier. THE XFL Sophie, what up girl. The XFL goes to embrace Sophie but she pushes him away. THE XFL Where that love for The Young Wolf? SOPHIE This time eet eez business visit. THE XFL My business is your pleasure. SOPHIE Sois sérieux. Theez feud with Bohemoth can not continue, Xavier. THE XFL Tell that muscled up monkey that when he's busy peeling bananas and banging his hands against the cage he's kept in. He's coming into the Young Wolf' den. What right does a monkey come after the worlf? By what right? Getting angry at the thought, The XFL starts pacing. SOPHIE Then you will defend your den? THE XFL No doubt, no doubt! I'ma bare the fuck out my fangs at that monkey ass bitch! Believe you me! SOPHIE Bien! At zhe Great Angle Bash you both will fight. If Bohemoth loses he will not get a world title shot until December of 2016, but if you lose then The All XFL Team must disband. THE XFL Yo, what? What did you say? You putting my den on the line? This some kind of joke? You funny, you type funny, girl. You know it too. SOPHIE Son pas une blague! THE XFL It better be a joke! SOPHIE I do not understand. You said you would defend your den. THE XFL Metaphorically! You don't have metaphors in that crepe eating, wine drinkng, Gerad Dipreadeu ass country of yours? Fuck! SOPHIE Xavier, settle down! And what eez wrong with Gerad, he eez a good friend of mine. THE XFL Ain't no settling the Young Wolf now! You turned him rabid! Rabid! Bout to tear that monkey down! So angry is The XFL his own limo and creates a thudding sound for his rage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 he owner of the Des Monies' house's name is Chet, and he sits on his couch, looking over Angel and Colin with a curious eyes. COLIN Yes, if you have something you'd wish to ask us, do hurry up and get it out. CHET You two are mother and son? ANGEL Its' a very long story. COLIN Suffice to stay it is one that will note this chapter as particularly grizzly if I am not told what why I am here. Just then the front lock begins to click. It turns and a little boy with tufts of golden brown hair and a thin face runs into the room holding a Happy Meal! BOY Daddy! The boy rushes and gives Chet a biiiiiig hug. WOMAN Slow down, young man. COLIN Amber? Colin rises from his chair with vampiric speed, his green eyes widening as they fall upon AMBER Col....Col...Colin. Colin rounds on his mother, eyes fierce with thunder. COLIN What is the meaning of this? BOY Mommy, who are these people? Colin's attention is caught by the boy, with the long face, the golden brown hair, the arched eyebrows, the permanent smiling lips. And then he turns on Amber. COLIN What is the meaning of this? Who is this boy? What manner of trickery is this? BOY I'm Jack. AMBER We need to talk. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 ***Tyler Bryant W/THE FLEX and Lorelei DeCenzo Vs Faqu*** RENEE Lucky Lori, two studs at her disposal. COACH Tyler's good looking, but THE FELX looks like he eats your local GNC for breakfast! Indeed Lorelei was all over THE FLEX, massaging his many and large muscles. Faqu thought they might be something to eat and tried to get after him. This allowed Tyler to get an early lead on the contest. Faqu did catch up for a short while for a come from behind bid. But Tyler shut his hopes down and finished him off with a yakuza kick now known as Now Trending. Winner: Tyler Bryant, via pinfall Post-match SHAYNE BRAVE ran into the ring and attacked Tyler! “YYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Get that sap outta here! RENEE Shayne's got a never say die attitude. But he almost did die when THE FLEX hammered him with a lariat! On Lorelei's orders, the giant garbed hold of Shayne and delviered a press slam that dumped him onto the ring stops. RENEE Oooh ouch! Not good! This time Tyler knew better to pat THE FLEX on the shoulder and let Lorelei handle the positive reinforcement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 OAOAST HQ Papa Duncan bursts into the head of security's office with Krista trailing much slower behind him. PAPA DUNCAN Alright, you asshole, give up the queen! All that's present in the room is a janitor. JANITOR Si? PAPA DUNCAN I got a bunch of Latino votes in my last election, I'll get the Latin Kings on your ass, ese! Where's the queen?! KRISTA What happened to the whole look just fucked and seduce him for information. PAPA DUNCAN Not now, sweetie, the men are talking. Listen to me, Pedro, if you don't hand over the goods, you'll be saying si senor to my gringo killer! JANITOR Si? PAPA DUNCAN Kris, I'm getting the feeling he doesn't know where Esther is. KRISTA You think so? Can I show him my boobs anyway? PAPA DUNCAN Go ahead, sweetie, make daddy proud. KRISTA Tada! PAPA DUNCAN That's my girl and that's her girls! JANITOR Si! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 *** The Keyboard Warriors (Dat Dude & Mr. 313) vs. The Masked Mutants *** At least that was the scheduled match until OAOAST tag champs Hood Again, still sporting their red paintball covered bullet proof hoodie vests, and their manager/uncle Marcellus stormed the ring in a fit of rage. The Masked Mutants smartly got the hell outta there, leaving the the anonymous Keyboard Warriors to receive a beat down courtesy of Moses and Kawhi. Following a couple of Isolated Incidents POWERBOMB/LUNGBLOWER combos, Marcellus grabbed the mic and cut a promo on the ARMY OF 1 NATION so vicious it can't be transcribed. Not even on the Internet! But they got the message loud and clear. As far as they're concerned, if the Ao1N want another shot at them, they can come take it... but the end result would be them leaving in a bodybag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 In the PYM dressing room, Sugar Belleflair is polishing her women's title when she's approached by Spencer Reiger who is holding his phone. SPENCER Did you see this, Sugar? SUGAR See what? SPENCER This tweet from the Keyboard Warrior's main account. They say they'll be involved in your women's title match, because they found Bobbi's words offensive. SUGAR Hot diggity dang! I'm saved! The longest running champion in the OAOAST keeps on chugging! Choo-choo! SPENCER How do you figure? SUGAR The Warriors are on my side. They must love me. They must love me more than you do! SPENCER I don't....nevermind. But all The Keyboard Warriors do is cause trouble and get beat up, I wouldn't put my eggs in their basket if I were you. SUGAR But you ain't me, Spencer, that's why yer married to a crazy vampire and that's why your best friend is on the run because he's running away from you, because yer a coward. You can't even tell me how big a crush you have on me. SPENCER Grrrrrr. SUGAR But, I'll tell ya this the Keyboard Warriors ain't no cowards, they saw darling of the IWC get threatened by wack job from Seattle and now their mobilizing the force. And right they should, its a disgrace I have to face Bobbi. But now she's gonna be one disgracing herself, disgracing the OAOAST and disgracing her brothel, cause she's in deep dog doo! WHOOOOOOO~! Sugar picks up her belt and starts Flair Strutting around the room. SMH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 *** Street Fight: Mr. Dick vs. Big Papa Thrust w/ The Freakazoids *** It was come as you are and for MD that meant shirtless, short shorts, tennis shoes and a weight belt. BPT went shirtless too, but opted for black jeans... and a MICROPHONE?! BIG PAPA THRUST Listen, you dumb fuck. I beat your ass at AngleMania... COACH True. BIG PAPA THRUST (CONT'D) ... I beat your ass at School's Out... RENEE Not true. BIG PAPA THRUST (CONT'D) ... I beat your ass in the Ride Her Cup. RENEE Again not true. BIG PAPA THRUST (CONT'D) ... and I'd beat your ass again tonight, but your ass is like all these skanks in this hellhole: used and all busted up! So the only ass pounding going on tonight is when I get my Freakazoids back to the hotel, put on my professors hat and give them pop quiz on the Big Bad Glueti Daddy's theory of ANALtivity! BUSTY & OOHLALA BIG PAPA THRUST In case you're too stupid to understand, I'm through kicking your ass. It's onto bigger and better things. C'mon girls. Time for a late night cram session. Having let BPT speak his piece, now it's MD turn. He grabs a mic. MISTER DICK I figured you'd hide your sack in your ass, you big pussy, so I asked an old friend to do me a favor. BIG PAPA THRUST That "old friend" turns out to be BARON WINDELS, the former tag partner of MD during their Lone Star Gunslingers days. "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BIG PAPA THRUST ... BW backs BPT and the girls towards the ring, hearing an earful from BPT in the process. BPT is then met by MD and away we go with the street fight. A wild affair that sees both men use just about everybody that isn't nailed down as BW remains ringside to ensure the Freakazoids don't try any funny business. COACH They're fighting out in the crowd now! MD uses a fan's chair to blast BPT across the back and then takes a DICK PIC of himself. RENEE No he didn't! Of course MD was clothed, but he did snap a pic. BPT answered back with a forearm to the face and a kick to the balls! BUSTY & OOHLALA The action made its way back to the ring where BPT remained in control and laid the verbal smack down on MD and BW. Then it was time to place MD in the LAY-Z-BOY camel clutch, but MD covered up to prevent BPT from grabbing hold of his head. To counter this BPT leaped in the air and squatted down across the back of the Real American Prick, but MD still covered up. So BPT did it again. And again. Still MD covered up. Noticeably frustrated, BPT tried to the move one more time... only this time MD rolled onto his back and got the knees up, crouching BPT! "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" BIG PAPA THRUST & THE FREAKAZOIDS Doubled over in pain, blues and agony, BPT was furthered stunned by a massive discus punch FACIAL~! Then he was leveled by a STIFF KICK and planted with a JACKHAMMER for the 1-2-3.Winner: Mr. Dick, via pinfall. RENEE Mr. Dick has done it! COACH Thanks to help from Baron Windels. RENEE Who was only out there to watch Dick's back. BW joins MD in the ring and after some awkward silence the two share a handshake. "YEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" BW exits to let MD bask in the spotlight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2015 A quaint and I'd say tiny kitchen is home to Colin pacing back and forth, with Amber in a seat, clutching a cup of coffee in her trembling hands. AMBER I was going to tell you. COLIN When might I ask was this to be? AMBER You were in school, and I didn't.... COLIN You are to leave the country immediately. AMBER What? Colin reaches into his pocket, and throws a pair of debit cards on the table. COLIN The pin numbers are 4664 for them both. Should I find you in home by the same time tomorrow I will kill that charming mouth breather who's raising my son. AMBER I'm sorry, Colin, but fuck you. Colin runs at Amber with his terrify8ing vampire speed and pins her against the refrigerator by the neck. COLIN This is the new Colin you are having a conversation with- Colin is interrupted by the sound of Angel, Chet and Jack rushing into the kitchen. JACK Mommy! CHET Get your hands off her! ANGEL That's the mother of your child for god's sake! All this bluster about not giving a damn about anyone or anything, and the moment your child is in danger you threaten the mother? It's okay to care. It's okay to want something. That's all I'm trying to do, all I've ever wanted for you. Calmed down somewhat, Colin slowly but truly eases his grip on Amber. COLIN I am handling this situation the only way I know how. One way or another little Jack will be leaving this country and away from the eyes of my many foes. Chet, Amber, go with him, do not go with him. I don't care, but I will protect my son. FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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