Chanel #99 Posted April 10, 2015 Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZVoq2SZfu0 RENEE Believe it or not were just days away from AngleMania Fourteen! COACH That's if anyone can survive tonight. I'm gonna do most of this show behind a riot shield. ***The Menagerie (Kings of The Heap and Sloppy Joe) W/Pierette St.Nerdregard Vs House Asgard (Eggther, Sons of Ragnarok)*** This was a far better match than our piece of shit fans deserved. Back and forth things went, with Sloppy even taking timeout from eating pork chops to help his mates. Rayder thought he had the match won with The Great Riot (cross arm driver) on Eggther, but somehow Eggther kicked out! The fans chanted his name as he hit I Have No Rival (spinning bodyslam) on Rayder than Scourge. At that point several Keyboard Warriors arrived to protest! RENEE Um....why? The KW were protesting that House Asgard had no female dieties and was thus offensive and sexist. LEON RODEZ hit l this confusion to hit the One Hit Kill on Fenrir allowing The Kings to hit a Doomsday Device on Jormungandr for a win! Winner: The Menagerie, via pinfall Post-match Eggther said fuck it and beat the shit out of The Keyboard Warriors! RENEE That's an AngleMania moment before AngleMania! Backstage in the classical throne room of King Landon, we see the world champion, on his throne with his queen behind him and his Kingsguard on their knees in front of him. KING LANDON Sophie, you know Sophie, Sophie, the French woman...used to be my friend! No more! You know that she used to be my friend. But not anymore! No more she says that one of you, but just one of you, no more than one, you can accompany me to the ring at AngleMania Fourteen. QUEEN ESTHER Who will it be, my king? KING LANDON I was getting to that! Don't you see what you do to me when you ask your dumb questions. Dumb questions from a dumb woman! Wear a dunce cap instead of crown, dunce! Queen Esther finds she can't stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. Luckily her king doesn't notice. KING LANDON Laugh! I am funny! NORTHSTAR Your choice, your grace. KING LANDON Yes, of course, of course. I pick you, Ser Felix. SER FELIX Good move my good dude! SER ALEARYS Felix? Why him of all people? I'd get new knights and pick them over him! KING LANDON Ser Felix operates on a very sneaky, underhanded level, the rest of you aren't what I or anyone would ever call subtle. No you're not. Not subtle at all. I need trickery to beat Krista! SER TIMOTHY Is it wise to cheat? Would this not tarnish your legacy? LORD NORTHSTAR I suppose you would rather he risk everything for the opinion of the commons. KING LANDON I will not! QUEEN ESTHER My king, I would like to- KING LANDON No one cares what you like or what you would like or what you like to!! How many times do I have to scream and yell at you before you get the point I am trying to make through what I say and yell at you? I'm sick of it! Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking, no one cares, no one cares, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! NORTHSTAR …..Perhaps we ought adjourn this meeting. King Landon slumps in his char, as he couldn't possibly care less. In a cold gesture of kindness Northstar helps the sobbing Esther from the dais and leads her out with the rest of the Kinsguard. KING LANDON (shooting up) Idiot redheaed devil! COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 Backstage, the 3 AMIGOS joined OAOAST Hottie Sara Jean Underwood to address rumors they have been unable to sign, seal and deliver their AngleMania mystery partner. Surprisingly, Juicy admitted it was true saying it’s been tough breaking down the barriers of intolerance and that it’s not looking good for AM. CHICK I told you we could never trust that guy. Now who can we possibly find to be a partner at the 11th hour? MARIACHI (broken English) Fear not -- for friendship is magic! CHICK He spoke English! JUICY Mariachi can speak it, just not very good so he prefers to speak in his native tongue. CHICK I did not know that. But I’ll take that as a sign from God! *** Mr. Dick w/ Oohlala vs. Doc White *** Fueled by Big Papa Thrust’s remarks last week, MD took his anger out on poor Doc, finishing him off with the Jackhammer. Doc did land a couple of sweet dropkicks though! BPT appeared on the AngleTron following the match to badmouth his AngleMania opponent and to “admire” Oohlala “one last time” before she becomes “old, fat and ugly” after giving birth to her and Dick’s “bastard child.” MD grabbed the mic and told BPT to strap a saddle to his back because he’s gonna get ridden hard at AM.Winners: Mr. Dick, via pinfall. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 THE KING OF BRONIES LIVE! NEXT WEEK! Back in the locker room, BLAINE CAYLEY and OSCAR FRIBERG lace up the boots, tape up the wrists, etc, as their fellow Team Scream members wander about in the background. REENE There you see Blaine Caylay and OAOAST United States Champion Oscar Friberg getting ready for their tag bout against the reluctant team of Logan Mann and Alexander The Brutal. COACH Last time Logan and Alexander were forced to team, Logan ended up losing the U.S. Title! REENE A set-up gone awry the OAOAST Galaxy will recall. It was a plan Logan thought was so fool proof -- thinking he’d never get tagged in since the plan was to let Alexander take a beating -- he put the U.S. Title on the line. Once Alexander figured out the plan Logan got tagged all right. Eventually Oscar would go on to capture the title Logan lost that night. But tonight, the 4 superstars involved in this Sunday’s Double Jeopardy United States Championship bout at AngleMania will pair off on opposite sides LIVE on Held-- Wait a minute. Just as Blaine finishes putting on his trench coat, a set of HANDS cover his EYES from behind. FEMALE (O.S.) Guess who handsome? Blaine turns around and sees his sister SAMANTHA still rocking her schoolgirl outfit. BLAINE Sammi! The two embrace as Tanner totally checks out Sammi in the background. Boy’s smitten. The other Team Scream guys say hi. BLAINE What brings you here? I thought you had a big exam tomorrow? SAMMI Who cares about that stupid stuff? Most of what they teach us we’ll never have to use again for the rest of our life anyway. Besides, when you’re as rich as us why bust your brain when you can just hire somebody to do it for you? And there is that little thing about me getting expelled. BLAINE Expelled?! What for? Doesn’t that imbecile know how much our family donates to the school? A whole wing is dedicated in our parents’ name and another is reserved for us and our children! JO-JO Now that’s rich! OSCAR, BTK, JO-JO & TANNER BLAINE SAMMI (redirects Blaine’s head to face her) Don’t worry about it. BLAINE You know one phone call is all it’ll take to get you back enrolled. SAMMI I know. But I don’t want to go back. At least not yet. I wanna do the Blaine thing. BLAINE Is that what everybody at school calls it? The “Blaine thing”? SAMMI You wouldn’t believe how jealous they are, especially the girls. *circles Blaine S sternum with index finger* BLAINE If they only knew. SAMMI & BLAINE BLAINE All right. I’ll let you tag along. SAMMI (golf claps) Yeah! BLAINE But you know there’s certain people I don’t want you hanging around. SAMMI Do we need to have this discussion now? BLAINE Just promise me you’ll keep your distance? SAMMI (sighs) Okaaay. TANNER Hey Blaine, if it’ll make you feel more comfortable, I could keep-- I mean, the guys could keep Sammi company while you go out for your match and you know, just whenever. Some of the guys around here are the overly alpha macho types so, you know… BLAINE (laughs) All right. (to Sammi) I’ve got a few minutes. You wanna… SAMMI I’m dying to. Especially since I know it’d piss the girls off. BLAINE And guys. But hey, you never told me how you got expelled. SAMMI I smashed a girl’s head into a gym locker. She had the nerve to say Oscar was gonna retain at AngleMania. Sorry Oscar. OSCAR No offensive taken. *laughs* SAMMI (runs index finger under Tanner’s chin) Later Tanner. Blaine and Sammi exit and Tanner just about dies. TANNER She knows my name! The guys laugh as Tanner feigns faint9ing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 Colin's Stronghold Colin is sipping on a bit of whiskey in his lounge, when Teddy Buckworth bursts in, trailed by an exasperated Flynn Stevens. FLYNN I tried to stop him. COLIN To what do I owe the honor of your noble presence, Theodore? BUCKWORTH We but mere days away from a match in which your very life is on the line and not a one of us has discussed any strategy involving it. COLIN I would think 'throw my father in the casket and be done with it' would about cover it. Buckworth lets out an angry sigh. BUCKWORTH And how do you intend to accomplish this? COLIN I will charge him, defeat him soundly, then dispose of him into the spelled casket, sealing him forever. Cheers. Colin raises his glass. Not in a triumphant manner either. BUCKWORTH Should you charge him recklessly and without plan you will no doubt end the night minus a heart and minus your life. A rueful chuckle escapes Colin's thin lips. COLIN Why are you really here, Theodore? Why are you in this nasty piece of business? Surely you don't expect me to believe you care about my safety. Do you wish to discuss a reformation of The Enterprise now that you, me, Simon and Spencer are teaming? Shall we bring in Alix and Christian and all the rest of your past lads and mates? Teddy adjusts his tie as he gazes at Colin with pitying eyes. BUCKWORTH You will find an immortal life is decidedly lonely when you continually antagonize all who wish to help you. No more is said by Buckworth as he makes a swift exit. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 A Money In The Bank Debate was held between all the various competitors inside the ring with OAOAST legend and hall of famer Angle-Plex doing the hosting duties. RENEE Did we skimp on security or does Sophie want a murder? Each star got their turn to discuss why they'll be the winner of the 2015 MITB ladder match. Ned and Baron said whoever wins between them gives the other the first title shot after they cash in the contract. BOHEMOTH You two won't win a damn thing, and you know it. That's why you paired up into a tag team, because you aren't good enough to fight alone. But me? I'm a one man tag team, I'm a one man stable, I'm a one man federation, I AM THE MAN and that's why I'm gonna win. ALIX But what if Aloe Blacc, grammy award winning artist, and singer of “I'm The Man.” shows up and then we will have two The Mans and then time will explode and we'll all die! ANGLE-PLEX Alix what about you why are you going to win? NORTHSTAR She won't win. ALIX Huh? That's mean! NORTHSTAR The king has told me not to let you win, so win you shan't. ALIX Win I shan....shank...shanvent....shanaranadingdong? NORTHSTAR Its shall you're looking for. ALIX Win I shall! THE XFL Fuck this noise- SILVER Right on! Fuck this noise! Me and Xavier have come too far to let anyone stand in our way. This man is the man that's going to change the world. His hope is the hope that's going to change everything, and anything I have to do to get him to grab that briefcase I'm gonna do it! TANNER Except stop me. I've got an awesome lady I don't wanna let down. ALIX I love Bette Middler too! TANNER What? No, no. Hey, check it, you guys. I don't have the longevity or the accolades of the rest of you, but one thing I do have on my side is power of youth. When the match hits fifteen minutes of carnage and chaos and your old bodies are breaking down- ALIX PUNCHED TANNER! ALIX Age discrimination! I won't tolerate it, Shayne! THE XFL Ay, that's Tanner not Shayne! ALIX Correcting me! ALIX PUNCHED THE XFL! ALIX Being engaged to me! ALIX PUNCHED NORTHSTAR! ALIX Having had sex with Krista before! ALIX PUNCHED NED! ALIX I have no problem with you! ALIX PUNCHED BARON! ALIX Being related to AngleSault! ALIX PUNCHED SILVER! BOHEMOTH PUNCHED ALIX! “BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” BOHEMOTH I'M THE MAN! And that's how we left this segment, with Bo proclaiming he's The Man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 *** OAOAST U.S. Champion Oscar Friberg & Blaine Cayley vs. Logan Mann & Alexander The Brutal *** Days before all 4 superstars are scheduled to meet for the United States Championship at AngleMania XIV, they found themselves split in teams for a special attraction tag bout. At least that was the idea. Instead Logan slapped Oscar and immediately tagged Alexander, then joined our RC announce team at Sofa Central to bitch about having to tag with Alexander. LOGAN Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. That brute ain’t gonna mishandle me like last time. Reene reminded Logan what really happened the last time he and Alexander, as referenced earlier in the show. LOGAN You think I’d lie about something like that? *scoffs* The OAOAST Galaxy knows the answer: Yes. COACH Don’t feed the troll, champ. REENE Troll?! LOGAN At least somebody recognizes who the one true and only U.S. Champ is! Alexander demanded Logan get his “ass back on the apron” only to be dismissed. Blaine gave the Modern Day Gladiator his full attention, however, attacking him from behind as Sammi viewed the action backstage on the monitor along with Tanner Neptune and the rest of Team Scream. LOGAN He’s a hothead, but this Blaine guy’s got talent. Too bad he’s associated with those Team Scream fools. They’d rather keep the little girls who cheer them happy instead of doing whatever it takes to win. And winning’s the name of the game. COACH And making money! LOGAN Hell yeah. And you do that by winning. Pissed over getting blindsided, Alexander would damn near kick the head off Blaine’s shoulders with a vicious BIG BOOT. SAMMI Alexander would deck Oscar and become a one-man war machine until Logan decided to sneak in and DDT him! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Liberation DDT! REENE To his own partner!? Logan then DDT’s Blaine! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Leezus bestowing unto the masses Liberation! Oscar’s next, but the U.S. Champ counters with a backdrop and proceeds to unload on Logan! “YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Knee to the gut stuns Oscar, who still manages to reverse a whip… but Logan grabs onto the ropes and hightails it. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" LOGAN We’ll finish this at AngleMania, chump! Despite that Oscar invites Logan to come back inside, but Logan’s like fuck that. We do get Sammi to rush into the ring to check on her brother Blaine, sending the red blooded males into a frenzy. Tanner and the rest of Team Scream follow out. Meanwhile, Oscar and Alexander (clutching his neck from the DDT) shake hands in respect.Winners: No contest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 The OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~! highlighted the shocking vandalism of Hood Again’s ride, prompting equally shocking laughter from Moses and Kawhi’s uncle/manager Marcellus. Afterwards OAOAST Hottie Sara Jean Underwood got comments from fellow correspondent and OAOAST Hall of Famer Terry Taylor who was last seen TIED to the hood of the car BLINDFOLDED. Terry explained he was blindsided “by a couple of guys who placed a bag or something” over his head. SARA JEAN Do you think it was the Christ Air Express? Suddenly the CAE interrupted and denied any knowledge of the incident. When the anarchy logo spray painted on the vehicle was brought up the CAE got defensive. MEL Anarchy is about a person being able to live as a person wishes so long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. It’s not at all how it’s portrayed in the media or movies. You don’t destroy property or toss Molotov cocktails. Those are acts of people only looking to cause trouble. MARCELLUS (O.S.) Sure looked like you caused trouble to me. The tag champs and their uncle walk in to confront their AngleMania challengers. MARCELLUS Lookin’ to rattle our cage, huh? Maybe tryin’ to get an edge going into your title match this Sunday at AngleMania against my nephews? But it’s lookin’ to me and my nephews like you’re the ones rattled; you’re the ones troubled by your act of desperation. ‘Cause all we heard was the ramblings of men with guilty con-- Before Marcellus can finish MEL strikes him! SARA JEAN & TERRY Moses and Kawhi get ready to rumble when they’re called off. MARCELLUS (rubbing jaw) Naw, nephews. We’ll give them that free shot. We’ll take ours at AngleMania. Both teams stare each other down. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 Sara Jean was backstage to try and keep her sanity and her clothes in tact with Dem Bums. The topic was Tony's 24/7 Title AngleMania match with Sloppy Joe. PAPA DUNCAN Me and Tony here, we're hoping for a straight out squash of Sloppy Joe. Ya wanna know why? SARA JEAN Yeah, why? TONY We fucking hate fat people. SARA JEAN PAPA DUNCAN Cat got your tounge? You into that lesbo shit, like my daughter? She used to steal Genevieve's Sears' Catalogs before I could beat off to the underwear section. No fat chicks there. No siree bob. Like I said me and him hate fat people. SARA JEAN You two are fat! TONY Whaaaaa? Check your eyes, toots! SARA JEAN Vinny help me. VINNY You two are fat. Almost obese actually. SARA JEAN Its really unhealthy. VINNY I can't see either one of you living more than ten years if you don't lose weight. SARA JEAN Ten years is generous. I give you three. PAPA DUNCAN You two are a couple of loons. Come on, Tone, we gotta get prepared for the match. There's a buffet down the street, all you can eat fried chicken and bacon cheese fries! TONY Lets hit that pussy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 ***Tyler Bryant and King Landon Maddix W/Lorelei DeCenzo Vs Krista Isadora Duncan and Shayne Brave*** A WHOLE lot of history behind this match, so much so Renee lost her breath trying to summarize it all. COACH You can take a nap on my lap, babygirl. RENEE I have pepper spray! COACH I have a built up immunity. As for the match, the four Superstars duked it out with wild fury, often times taking their affair to the outside. Krista kept trying to get at the king, but he used Tyler as a shield, and Tyler was well suited to defending him. COACH Look at the confidence Tyler is working with now. In the midst of all this confusion, Ser Felix clobbered Krista from behind and with Tyler's help stomped her out. Inside the ring the referee watched as King Landon hit Shayne with the Go2Sleep for the victory! Winner:King Landon and Tyler Bryant, via pinfall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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