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OAOAST TMW: A comedy/erotic e-fed

OAOAST IntenseZone - 1/13/04


Tony149

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BOOM! BOOM! <span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>BOOM! </span><span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>BA-BOOM!</span>

Super-pyro blasts! The lights go up and the arena rocks to the sound of RATM's "Guerilla Radio", as we cut to the announce table, featuring the one and only good ol' JR

hid_ross.jpg

JR
Good evening everybody, and welcome to IntenseZone! In the Zone this week we have PRL! The Shuffle! SpiderPoet! Plus MORE!
Also on hand, as ever, is IZ General Manager Dan Black. Let's take a look back to last week where Dan failed to beat SpiderPoet's gauntlet- but still got himself that Adrenalin Title shot:

:: cut to video ::

POET
And now, let me introduce your final opponent to earn an Adrenaline Title shot-

Verdi's "Reqium" plays to a HUGE, devil sized pop!

POET
-JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGUS!

Dan's jaw drops as the 7 foot, 350lb monster walks down to the ring!

JR
BAH GAWD! These men have been through so many wars! They've been friends, tag partners, and mortal enemies!

JINGUS steps into the ring, but Dan jumps him immediately, hammering punches to his back and head. JINGUS shrugs them off however and grabs Dan around the throat with one massive hand! JINGUS picks Black up for a CLAWSLAM- but Dan wriggles out and rolls away!

Dan dropskicks the knee of JINGUS, trying to take him down, but JINGUS ignores it and nails Dan with the Clothesline From Some Place Worse Than Hell!

Black does a 360 flip and rolls out of the ring, dazed! JINGUS roars in the ring as Poet applauds! The referee begins to count Dan out, but Black eventually steps back in.

JR
JINGUS is such a monster, so brutal- this could be the end of Dan's career, never mind his title hopes!

JINGUS advances on Dan, who complains to the referee that his hair was pulled.

JR
JINGUS hadn't even gotten to him! C'mon Dan!

Black leaps at JINGUS and pokes him in the eye, following with a trio of European uppercuts. Dan attempts to Irish whip JINGUS, but the monsters stays in place and pulls Black into him! Dan goes for a lowblow, but its blocked and JINGUS headbutts him down to the mat!

Black bails, grabbing a chair from ringside, before leaping back into the ring! The referee tries to grab the chair, but Dan just shoves him down and swings the chair at JINGUS- who just punches it aside! The official again grabs for the chair, and Black throws him out of the ring! It's all too much for the ref and he calls for the bell!

CAPPETTA
The winner of the match as a result of a disqualification- JIIIIIIIIIIINGUS!

JR
Black's lost the match and his chance! His cheating has finally been punished!

Dan bails, chair still in hand, and runs up the entranceway at Poet! SP is ready for him however, and as Dan swings the chair at him Poet just kicks it back into his face! Black falls away and scuttles backstage as Poet walks down to the ring to shake hands with JINGUS to a POP!

JR
Well, for once justice has been served to Dan Black! No Adrenalin Title Shot for him! We're out of time, for everyone on IntenseZone, good night!

DAN BLACK
Woh there! Just a minute!

Black has appeared on the AngleTron! Sweat is pouring down his face and he appears to be holding something.

BLACK
Poet, you stacked the deck against me because you're AFRAID! I can see it in your eyes! You KNOW you can't beat me!

JR
He already did beat him!

BLACK
So here's some insurance.

The camera pulls back, showing Black Widow struggling in a chokehold from Black!

Poet makes a move to run down the ramp, but Black speaks quickly.

BLACK
Oh, I wouldn't do that. If I hear anyone coming backstage, I'll break her damn neck, you got it?

Poet stops in his tracks, glaring at the AngleTron with fear and anger.

BLACK
Now, you know what I want. Give it to me, and I'll let this sorry bitch go.

The crowd is BOOING so loud Poet has to speak up to be heard as he takes a mic.

POET
Ok you sick bastard. You got your title shot, and we'll do it on PPV at ANGLEPALOOZA! Now let her go!

Black shoves Widow to the floor and the AngleTron goes dark. Poet and JINGUS both race backstage.

:: fade back to Jim Ross ::

JR
I can't wait to see Black lose a second time to SpiderPoet! Dan needs someone to show him he's not all powerful, and right now Poet is the man to do it!

Cue: Smashing Pumpkins, "Quiet"

JR
Awww, c'mon...

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Dan Black strides down to the ring, staring at Jim Ross at the announce table. He steps through the ropes, picks up the mic- and...its dead?

Dan slams the mic against a turnbuckle, but there's still no sound. The crowd starts to laugh and jeer as Dan glares furiously around.

Black starts to shout, but suddenly the lights go out!

The AngleTron flickers into life! Showing...

A darkened hallway, the camera starting at the floor with a light source radiating into the camera’s vision from the audience’s left. Dark athletic shoes, black, move rarely as the camera slowly pans up, the light moving with the motion. Stephen Joseph’s voice, a haunting base, begins in a matter of fact tone, slowly switching to insightful prosaic.

Stephen Joseph
You are who, who are you. Pearl Jam asked this a few years ago and then answered themselves tautologically. Very profound actually. Over the two years I’ve wrestled with the OAOAST, I think I’ve come to know who I am. And that how I express who I am takes two extremes, and neither is truly me.

::Transparent flashes sharing the screen show a jubilant BPP beating Angle-Plex and a dark Stephen Joseph assaulting Zack Malibu::

Stephen Joseph(cont)
When I was one, I was blind to the other, and by being one necessarily would preclude a shift to the other at some radical point. Now, like the yin and yang, both must be balanced. It is this inward reflection that has finally brought me at peace with who I am and what I am to do whilst still here in this federation.

And having been through this experience, I know that Dan Black has not mentally reflected on himself. It’s worse actually. Dan wrestled with a mask on so he never had to see himself, his face, when he would watch tapes. He’s scared of looking at who he is. I deduced this because in our two years here, Dan has never looked into a mirror. When Dan turned his heart black, he changed his hair color and his cut. He would not see who he thought he was but just someone else.

Which brings me to my point of tonight. In a few short months, 2, Dan Black and I will have a match. We will have a match I believe I can be mentally prepared for. Dan Black I believe will not be, and this match will finally force him to lay witness to who he is, to what HE looks like, and to what HE has done. I don’t know the effect it will have, but it will be harsh indeed.

Because Dan, and the rest of you have Tonight not watched me speaking with this light to evoke good and evil sides, truth and lies, but you’ve watched my reflection. Not me. For the camera is pointed at a mirror, and I am surrounded by them.

Anglemania 3 Dan Black. Time for you to see yourself for who you are. It will be one hell of a reunion, won’t it be…old buddy.

House of Mirrors. There is nothing to fear, except your own image.

And me.

B…P…P


The AngleTron darkens, and the lights slowly go back up. There's a hushed silence from the crowd as they watch Dan Black in the ring. Dan is staring straight ahead, eyes set, no emotion passing over his face. He looks around, left, right, and runs his tongue over his lips. Black throws down the useless microphone and just leaves the ring.

JR
MAH GAWD! The first match for AngleMania III has been announced- and what a match! It's been building up between these two for nearly 6 months! And it'll come to head at AM3! Dan looks shocked- how will this affect his match against SpiderPoet? Stephen Joseph- or BPP- has stuck the first psychological blow! We'll be right back!

COMMERCIALS

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We cut to a corridor backstage, where Dan Black is walking hurridly. Dan turns a corner- and walks straight into Gary Cappetta!

GMC
Dan, I've been looking for you! We need to hear your thoughts on what just happened- the match at AngleMania!

Dan looks Cappetta up and down, shakes his head solemnly- and throws Cappetta into the wall!

Gary is out cold and Dan glares at his body before walking on, eyes set.

JR
MAH GAWD! Get some medics back there! That son of a bitch! He's taking this too far! BAH GAWD, Black must be damn SCARED of Anglemania!

::The Anglepalooza logo flashes by on the screen. A graphic reads “OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN TITLE MATCH†causing the crowd to pop loudly. The Puerto Rican Lightning vs. Shuffle matchup graphic for Anglepalooza appears onscreen while JR speaks with “Sleep Now In The Fire†by Rage Against The Machine playing in the background. The crowd boos then cheers.::

JR:
At Anglepalooza on January 25th, you will see the OaOasT North American Championship be defended as the OaOasT North American Champion Puerto Rican Lightning takes on the new #1 Contender, The Shuffle. The Shuffle defeated both Alfdogg and Teddy Weddy two weeks ago on IntenseZone in a Triple Threat match to earn this match, but PRL is taking this match very lightly as evidenced by his interview last week. According to PRL, the match against Shuffle will be a “Walk in the park†compared to PRL’s other challengers. He treats Shuffle like a joke and has proclaimed that he will not even “Train for the matchâ€. PRL has questioned the OaOasT on why Shuffle got the shot, but Shuffle may surprise PRL. Shuffle is the underdog going into the match with PRL having the Lightning Crew watch his back in this match. But could The Shuffle pull off the upset? Can The Shuffle win the OaOasT North American Title for the first time ever? To find out, you must order OaOasT Anglepalooza on January 25th, live EXCLUSIVELY on pay-per-view!

::The AngleTron lights up with a video of San Juan, Puerto Rico. The crowd pops, as they are surprised. As the video shows footage of different places of San Juan, an organ is heard playing a sweet, gentle song. The video shows the beautiful beaches of San Juan. Follow by looks at Olde' San Juan. The organ music continues to play, as the crowd becomes hyper waiting for PRL's appearance. The video shifts from San Juan to New York City. The video shows footage of Times Square. Follow by Madison Square Garden and the Statue of Liberty at night. The video then shows a helicopter circling NYC at night follow by a look at the Manhattan skyline. Then Yankee Stadium and the Brooklyn Bridge. The organ music changes by going a high note as an angelic choir joins in. The video shows the Empire State Building and a NYC nightclub before shifting to Miami, Florida. The organ music continues playing as the video shows Miami at night. It shows footage of Miami Beach follow by a bird’s eye view of Pro Player Stadium. Miami's many nightclubs are shown as the organ music nears its end with the crowd getting more and more excited to see PRL. The video then shows Orlando, Florida, more specifically, Universal Studios: Islands of Adventure. As the organ music ends, the lighthouse at Islands of Adventure is shown with the light from the lighthouse shinning in front of the camera as the word "LIGHTNING" is said in a whisper. A lightning bolt hits the entrance and the crowd pops big time. Smoke and pyro fills the entrance as the AngleTron shows a blue screen with the words "PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING" in big blue blocky letters. "Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)" starts up as the AngleTron shows PRL sneering at the camera in a broken down warehouse.::

JR:
This can only mean that Puerto Rican Lightning is coming out! Why he is coming out, no one knows, as he is not scheldued for a match on tonight’s show.

::The lights go down, as the fans see a silhouette of someone near the entrance. The crowd pops then boos, as they know it is the silhouette of Puerto Rican Lightning. Puerto Rican Lightning raises his right arm, which has the OaOasT North American Title. He then raises his left arm, which has the Puerto Rican Championship. He turns around as the lights go back on and the crowd begins booing big time. They begin throwing garbage and chanting "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" as PRL walks to the ring, cocky, and confident as usual. He is holding both his belts over his shoulders and dares the fans to touch his belts. PRL is wearing his signature sunglasses, but is also dressed in a white Lightning Crew t-shirt, red sweatpants, white wrist tape, and black elbow pads and is chewing bubble gum. Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez follow PRL, and are also greeted with loud boos.::

Mean Gene Okerlund: (subbing for GMC)
Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the OaOasT North American and Puerto Rican Champion, PUERTO RICANNNNNN LIGHTTNNNINNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JR:
Well, Puerto Rican Lightning isn’t dressed to compete. However, he is dressed in what appears to be his gym suit, or what he wears when he’s training. This doesn’t make any sense. What is the purpose of this? Why is PRL out here? I don’t see him being scheldued for interview time. What is the purpose of this?

::PRL continues to walk cool and confident into the ring. He shows off his belts to the camera. He sneers at the crowd then enters the ring as “Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)†He gives his belts to Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and then does the HBK-pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd boos PRL as he grabs his belts and poses with them on the turnbuckle. The crowd chants "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" as PRL sneers at them. PRL poses on another turnbuckle a'la The Rock.::

JR:
The fans are reacting to Puerto Rican Lightning the same way people around the country do. No one has any idea why PRL is wearing what he is wearing or why he is in the ring.

::PRL jumps off of the turnbuckle as PRL demands a microphone. Mr. Boricua guards the ring and growls at the crowd, while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, with her hair all curly, wearing a red shirt with a gold necklace, a blue denim skirt, and heels, applauds PRL. PRL gets a microphone as “Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)†dies down. The crowd begins booing loudly while PRL sneers. The “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!†chants are loud and vicious as usual as Lindsay and Boricua sneer. PRL waits for the chants to stop, but they just keep getting louder and are accompanied by loud booing. PRL waits patiently.::

JR:
These fans refusing to give Puerto Rican Lightning a chance to speak. Can’t say I blame them, PRL can never shut up once he opens his mouth talking about how great he is. The fans chanting “P.R. SUCKS!†which has become a rallying cry in arenas all around the country since PRL debuted.

::The “P.R. SUCKS!†chants continue. PRL waits patiently, but finally puts the microphone to his lips and begins to speak.::

Puerto Rican Lightning:
Chant that all you want. I know that you all love me deep down inside.

::PRL smiles evilly as that remark causes the crowd to get into an uproar and boo even louder than before and chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!†faster and with more viciousness. PRL stands there and waits.::

JR:
That cannot be furthered from the truth. OaOasT fans do not hide their true feelings when it comes to whom they like and whom they hate. PRL is just using an excuse as to why these fans do not like him.

::The chants continue, but finally die down as PRL begins to speak.::

Puerto Rican Lightning:
Now, now, I know that you all are wondering why the hell I am out here in *this* sort of attire, when I don’t even have a match scheldued for tonight. Well, unless you haven’t been tuning in to IntenseZone and have instead watched that crappy show on Thursday nights, and no I do not mean SmackDown!, you would know that at Anglepalooza on January 25th, I, Puerto Rican Lightning, will defend MY PRESTIGOUS OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP AGAINST…the shuffle.

::The crowd pops for the mention of Shuffle’s name. Small “SHUFFLE! SHUFFLE! SHUFFLE!†chants are heard. PRL sneers.::

JR:
These fans seem to feel differently about Shuffle than PRL does.

Puerto Rican Lightning:
Now, I know what you’re thinking. In one corner, you will have the greatest wrestler who ever lived. A legend, an icon. A man who embodies speed, integrity, intelligence, strength, and power. A man who men want to be, and women want to be with. A man who kids idolize and put posters on their wall hoping to one day be in the same ring as them. A man who is charismatic, handsome, talented, and agile. And then in the other corner you have…The Shuffle. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

::The crowd boos PRL’s attempt at a joke. The “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!†chants begin once again. Lindsay and Boricua laugh at PRL, who slaps his knees.::

JR:
That was not a funny joke. I’ve seen CARROT TOP make more people laugh more than PRL.

PRL:
Well screw you I thought it was funny. Anyway, the point is, that I really have no reason to be worry about this upcoming title match on January 25th. The Shuffle is in no way, no how, a threat to my North American Title. I mean come on, his name is SHUFFLE! SHUFFLE! Do you REALLY think I’d be afraid of some loser named Shuffle? This whole match is just a cakewalk for me. For Shuffle, buddy, this is the most important match of your life. The chance to move up the ladder. The chance to have gold around your waist. You will have a chance to make a mark in the OaOasT. A chance to be considered a threat, an impact player if you will. But for me? Puerto Rican Lightning? THE LONGEST REIGINING OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN AND PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION IN OAOAST HISTORY! THE GREATEST WRESTLER WHO EVER LIVED? This is nothin’. Just another day in the office. Shuffle, I am so, SO confidant that you have NO CHANCE IN HELL of beating me, that I’m not going to even bother to train for this match. I won’t watch any videos of you; I won’t study you, because you don’t deserve it. You’re nothing, I’m something. It’s that simple. I am that great! You have NO CHANCE, NO CHANCE IN HELL of beating me for the OaOasT North American Championship at Anglepalooza!

::The crowd boos loudly. Mr. Boricua pats him on the back while Lindsay encourages him. PRL smiles evilly as the chants begin once again.::

JR:
Puerto Rican Lightning is overly cocky and maybe just a bit overconfident. He is defending his belt on January 25th, and is treating this with no respect. This could cost him in the actual match against Shuffle at Anglepalooza.

PRL (Continuing):
Which brings me to why I am out here tonight. See, I maybe taking this match with a grain of salt, but I just have to see what I’m up against. Shouldn’t be much, since this is from The Shuffle, and not say, The Mad Cappa. I’m not afraid. I’m not sweating this match at all. Everything’s OOOOoookkkaaaayyyy! *Does the Harlem Shake then dusts his right shoulder* So, Shuffle if you’re back there, I am challenging you to a match right here, right now. I’m not exactly in my regular ring attire, but instead, am in my sweat suit, since this is just an exercise. A preview of what will happen on January 25th. Shuffle, show me what you got. This is a warm up match between you and me. Shuffle get out here, so we can do this thing. Come on! I’m begging ya!

::PRL drops the microphone and jumps up and down. He bounces off the ropes and kisses Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez for luck. The crowd buzzes in anticipation of whether or not Shuffle will come out. Some fans chant “SHUFFLE! SHUFFLE! SHUFFLE!†waiting for him to come out. PRL chats with Lindsay.::

JR:
PRL laid down the challenge. The question is of whether or not Shuffle will accept. This is a warm up match for Anglepalooza, so saids PRL. The Shuffle is back there, I saw him this afternoon. He’s—

::Suddenly, “The Horror†by RJD2 begins to play. The crowd pops loudly as a giant pyro display shoots off at the entrance. Chants of “SHUFFLE! SHUFFLE! SHUFFLE!†are heard, as from the entrance, appears The Shuffle.::

JR:
Well, Shuffle has accepted PRL’s challenge and is heading to the ring. The #1 Contender to the OaOasT North American Title, The Shuffle is a fan favorite on IntenseZone.

::The Shuffle walks to the ring with a look of determination on his face, slapping hands with the fans along the way. He continues looking at PRL, who is standing in the ring with a cocky smirk on his face.::

JR:
The Shuffle looks like he has a lot of his mind. He seems to be concentrating on winning this match and maybe shutting PRL up. I take it he is none too please with PRL’s mocking of him, and wants to win the North American Title at Anglepalooza just to shut him up.

::The Shuffle enters the ring as “The Horror†continues to play. PRL and Shuffle engage in a staredown. The Shuffle jumps up and down as “The Horror†by RJD2 stops playing. The crowd cheers loudly and chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!â€::

JR:
The champion and the challenger. The cocky champ and the loveable underdog. The Shuffle has a mighty mountain to climb on January 25th if he wants to win the North American Title. Lightning has the Lightning Crew watching his back, so Shuffle better be careful of that.

::The crowd buzzes in anticipation as PRL grabs a microphone and smiles evilly. Lightning laughs then speaks.::

Puerto Rican Lightning:
Shuffle. Shuffle, my friend. Buddy, son. My friend, I have an even better idea for this warm up match. A better way to show you how much I rule, I’m going to have this match with you. I’m going to show the world how great I am, by having this match against you…with one arm tied behind my back. Ha! Ha! That’s right, Shuffle. I’m going to face you with one arm tied behind my back and BEAT YOU to show the world that I’m so much better than you, that I can beat you with one arm tied behind my back. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAA!!!

JR:
Now come on! This is not right. Not right at all. What is this? Why would PRL do this? He is just being mean.

::The crowd boos loudly and chant “P.R. SUCKS!†as PRL laughs. Mr. Boricua comes into the ring and takes out a rope from his pocket. Boricua grabs PRL’s right arm and ties it behind his back with a smile on his face. The Shuffle is still focused, not smiling, and has a determined look on his face. Mr. Boricua ties PRL’s right arm behind his back while PRL laughs. The crowd boos loudly. as PRL and co walk to the back ::

JR:
Well, PRL has his right arm tied behind his back. Are we seriously going to have the match this way? This is weird. Impossible if you will.

(cut to commercial)

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(as we come back from commercial- the Shuffle is in the middle of the ring)

"So... PRL claims that he never heard of the Shuffle before I won the number 1 contendership match. At first, I found that somewhat unbelievable. After all, since I've joined OAOAST I've been on several PPVs, I've been dropped on my head on national television, I've taught JR how to dance, I've got the fans on their feet in almost every match... I mean, even if he was 'too busy backstage' (he says making the finger quotes with a grin) with the rest of the Lightening Crew to actually watch, he's had to have heard the crowd cheer every time I'm in the ring.

Then I thought to myself, you know the possibility exists that PRL just isn't that bright. You'd assume that the North American champion is somebody you can be proud of, somebody who carries himself with dignity, somebody who won't make an ass out of himself any chance he gets. However, it's becoming clear to me that that just isn't the case. I had my doubts, I had my questions, I wondered if PRL was fit to be the North American champion... Then I find out that he's offered to wrestle me with one arm tied behind his back and all my questions were answered.

PRL doesn't respect me, he doesn't respect OAOAST, he doesn't respect the North American title AND he's an even bigger idiot than any of you think if he thinks he'll last more than 3 minutes in the ring with only one arm.

So PRL you keep up with your jokes. You keep having your henchmen run in and do you dirty work. You keep embarrassing yourself, and as long as you're the North American Champion you'll keep embarrassing OAOAST. You keep on keeping on, and doing all the low-down no-good things that you do, and I'll keep on dancing, I'll keep fighting this busted up neck of mine, I'll keep coming back from every two on one beat down you try and hand out, and at Anglepalooza, I KNOW that I'll be the one left standing at the end of the night.

So tonight, if you really want to make a fool of yourself, you tie that arm behind your back, you come out here, and you'll get the ass kicking your so richly deserve."

PRL's music hits, and as the chants of "PR SUCKS" sound out- PRL appears at the top of the ramp, accompanied by Mr.. Boricua , he has one arm tied behind his back as he lazily walks towards the ring. He's got a look of total disinterested on his face.

JR:
I guess the match is starting right now. PRL vs. Shuffle in a match where PRL will wrestle with only one arm.

PRL moves into the ring and lays down, asking Shuffle to pin him. Shuffle looks suspicious and stays back

JR:
PRL must have something up his sleeve.

Shuffle paces, and PRL is still laying on the mat, looking impatient. He motions to Shuffle as if to say "get on with it".

Shuffle steps back, and runs in, but instead of pinning PRL he nails him with a leg drop, and then hits a pin.


1...




2...



KICKOUT by PRL.


Shuffle rolls away and PRL nips up and fires a kick into Shuffle's cut. PRL charges and drops Shuffle with a clothesline!!

JR:
PRL, one arm and all has control of this match!!

Shuffle pops back up and PRL charges again, this time Shuffle catches him and hits the Standing Spinebuster!

PRL tries to stand, but with one arm he's slow and Shuffle moves behind him, picks him up and snaps off a Half-Nelson Suplex!!

JR:
Shuffle is just beating up PRL. The champion's arrogance is going to cost him, he's not match for Shuffle like this!!

Shuffle moves over to the prone PRL, pauses and drops an elbow into him. PRL is down on his face, and Shuffle rolls him over and makes his way to the top tope.

JR:
Shuffle looks to be going for the Fat Man's Moonsault~!. This should end things!!

Shuffle tries for the Moonsault, but PRL rolls out of the way at the last minute. Shuffle's down and PRL locks in a head scissors. He isn't able to hold it on for long, as Shuffle just pulls PRL's legs off of him.

Shuffle again has PRL from behind, spins him around, and nails a DDT!!


Shuffle covers...



1....









2....




NO- KICKOUT!!

Shuffle looks on in disbelief, as PRL rises with a grin on his face. Shuffle grabs him, send a knee to his gut and then NAILS HIM WITH A SHUFFLE BOMB~!



1....







2...






3...




NO, Mr.. Boricua slides into the ring and nails Shuffle with a steel chair to the back of the his head!!

JR:
The bell's ringing, this match is over- Shuffle wins via DQ. Once again the Lightening Crew can't stay where they belong!!

PRL's back up, and still dazed from the Shuffle bomb. Mr.. Boricua helps to free his arm as Shuffle is lying on the ground, downed by the chair shot. PRL picks up Shuffle and hits a P.R. Nightmare!!

JR:
Another beatdown administered by the Lightening Crew. Shuffle's already nursing an injury- and it's back to back weeks that PRL will have softened him up for their match and Anglepalooza.

PRL picks up Shuffle again, and this time HE hits a Shuffle Bomb~!. Mr.. Boricua makes a three count and raises PRL's arm as the two leave the ring. Shuffle is once again left knocked out in the middle of the ring.

JR:
Well, Shuffle proved that PRL has to take him seriously, but he's paid a heavy cost for that. Shuffle should be at quite a disadvantage when they finally meet for the North American championship.

(cut to commercial).

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JR
Fans, let me remind you of the upcoming OAOAST event- Anglepalooza! So far confirmed for IntenseZone we have:

Adrenalin Title: SpiderPoet © vs Dan Black
North American Title: PRL © vs The Shuffle

PLUS! The following IZ stars will be competing in the RUMBLE~!

PRL!
Mad Cappa!
Dan Black!
Stephen Joseph!
SpiderPoet!
Dangerous A!
Alfdogg!
Reject!
Y2Jailbait!
G-Money!
Shuffle!
Ted Weddy!
Jingus!
and Jay Darring!

Can one of these men earn the main event shot at Anglemania? BAH GAWD, I'm sure of it! Before our next match, its time for From The Vault- this time, its from LAST years Rumble- hear are the closing stages!

#20 is obvious, as “Hells Bells†hits and El Dandy runs down to the ring. Dandy clotheslines Zack from behind, knocking Zack into the ropes and then down into the ring.

JR: “El Dandy drew the best number possibly. He only needs to outlast these five tired men to win the title shot.â€
Jesse: “But there are a lot of dangerous people in there Ross. This isn’t as much as a cakewalk as you say it is!â€

Dandy pulls Zack back up to his feet, shoots Zack off the ropes, and catches him with an inverted atomic drop as he returns. Zack is stunned, allowing Dandy to bounce off the ropes and drop Zack with a clothesline. Zack tries to get back up, but a running knee strike by Dandy sends Zack back down to his back.

BPP rolls out of the ring and grabs the chair by the ropes, while Sandman is digging around near the ring post. Sandman pulls out a bundle of four lighttubes, holding them up with a sick grin on his face, as the crowd reacts. Sandman turns around, where BPP swings the chair, blasting the lightbulbs into Sandman’s face! Sandman hits the ground in a shower of glass, holding his face, while BPP leans on the chair.

JR: “Oh man! Sandman has plans for those tubes, but BPP ruined whatever he had in mind!â€
Jesse: “As much as I love tables, I hate lightbulbs! They have no place in wrestling!â€
JR: “And tables do?â€
Jesse: “Yes.â€
JR: “How?â€
Jesse: “Call the freaking match!â€

Dandy stomps away on Zack, while Evenflow is finally getting up after being drilled by Sandman. Evenflow sees Zack being attacked and rushes to his rescue. Evenflow spins Dandy around, kicks him in the stomach, and hits the BUMP BUMP AND BUMP DDT! Evenflow covers, 1…2…Dandy kicks out!

Jesse: “Makes sense. Dandy is fresh. Evenflow needs to wear Dandy out for his finisher to be effective.â€

Evenflow does look frustrated, but goes over to comfort Zack. Evenflow helps Zack to his feet, but Zack has this sudden look of rage in his face, almost like he’s recognizing that Evenflow was the one that hit him with the chair. Zack begins to open up on Evenflow, hitting him with sick right hands. Evenflow offers no defense, whether he can’t or won’t is unknown.

Zack shoots Evenflow off the ropes and hits a roundhouse kick as Evenflow rebounds. Evenflow back up, but down after a Zack leg lariat. Evenflow up once more as Zack throws the School’s Out, but Evenflow ducks out of the way. Evenflow throws a punch, but stops mid-swing. Evenflow looks pained, but Zack continues to fire away on Evenflow, flooring Evenflow after a series of punches.

Sandman is still down on the outside, holding his face. BPP picks him up and rolls Sandman back into the ring and covers him, 1…2…Sandman kicks out. Dandy is getting back up as BPP misses a clothesline, Dandy misses a clothesline, and BPP hits a belly-to-back suplex with a bridge, 1…2…3!

JR: “And the fresh man is gone!â€
Jesse: “Wait a second, the official is ordering BPP out of the ring as well!â€

BPP is looking confused as El Dandy exits and heads up the ramp. The official is leaning out of the ring and talking to the ring announcer, as Jingus and Sandman are down, while Zack is still attacking Evenflow. The ring announcer speaks.

“The official in the ring counted both men’s shoulders down for the three count. He has ruled that both men were pinned, and therefore eliminated!â€

Eliminated: El Dandy
Via: BPP, pinfall, belly-to-back suplex
Eliminated: No one

Eliminated: Big Poppa Popick
Via: Himself, pinfall, belly-to-back suplex.
Eliminated: MME, BPP

BPP leaves the ring, head in his hands, as only four people are left in this match. Jingus, Sandman, Evenflow, and Zack Malibu. Sandman and Jingus are down, while Zack chokes Evenflow in the corner. Zack pulls Evenflow out of the corner, shoots him off the ropes, but misses a clothesline. Evenflow hits a shoulderblock, sending Zack down to the mat, but looks concerned after he does.

Sandman and Jingus are very slow to get to their feet. Sandman is up first, but Jingus is quickly up after that. Sandman throws a right at Jingus, but Jingus throws a right that floors Sandman. Sandman is back up and hits Jingus, but Jingus shoves Sandman down to the mat. Sandman rolls through, but straight into the CLAWSLAM! On the other side of the ring, Evenflow helps Zack to his feet and starts apologizing. Zack shrugs and drills Evenflow with SCHOOL’S OUT! Evenflow’s eyes roll into the back of his head as he falls to the mat. Jingus and Zack cover their respective men, 1…2….3!

Eliminated: Sandman9000
Via: Jingus, pinfall, Clawslam
Eliminated: No one

Eliminated: EvenflowDDT
Via: Zack, pinfall, School’s Out,
Eliminated: No one

JR: “Double elimination! And we’re down to two!â€
Jesse: “Zack at 18, Jingus at 1! Can Jingus go the distance?â€
JR: “Of course he can Jesse, he’s a hoss!â€
Jesse: “SHUT UP Ross!â€

It’s all down to Zack and Jingus, two men battling for one title shot. Zack’s face is covered in blood, while Jingus, having been in the ring for over an hour, is completely exhausted, as well as his knee is injured. Zack is up first, and pounds away on Jingus. Jingus is able to flyswat Zack away, and shoot him off the ropes. Jingus drills Zack with a massive clothesline as he rebounds, nearly taking his head off! Jingus covers, 1…2…Zack kicks out!

Jingus, obviously frustrated and tired, slowly stands and drags Zack to his feet. Jingus shoots Zack off the ropes, but misses the clothesline. Zack hops up on the big man’s back and locks on a sleeper. Jingus’ bad wheel has him bend down some, putting Zack on his feet, and allowing him to hit the Trendsetter! Zack covers, 1…2…Jingus kicks out.

JR: “So close, but Jingus kicks out.â€
Jesse: “To go over an hour, for a man his size, and still be able to kick out, my hat is off to him.â€
JR: “But Jess, you aren’t wearing a hat, I a…â€
Jesse: “IT’S A FIGURE OF SPEECH IDIOT!â€

Zack lifts up Jingus, but only to one knee. Zack goes to the corner, prepping the Zack Attack. Zack charges, but Jingus turns and catches Zack’s face in his mighty claw! From his knee, Jingus lifts and delivers the CLAWSLAM to Zack! Jingus covers, 1…2…ZACK KICKS OUT! ZACK KICKS OUT OF THE CLAWSLAM!

JR: “Dammit! But what fight by Zack!â€
Jesse: “Jingus simply didn’t have the power necessary from his knees to take Zack out with that Clawslam. If I was Jingus, I’d do it again, but from my feet.â€

Zack is using the ropes to pull himself up. Jingus stands over him, waiting for Zack to stand. As Zack slowly turns around, Jingus grabs him by the face again! Jingus lifts, but Zack kicks Jingus in the groin! The cup manages to absorb most of the impact, but Jingus still drops Zack. Zack bounces off the ropes for momentum, and drills Jingus with SCHOOL’S OUT! Zack covers as the crowd counts along, 1…2….JINGUS KICKS OUT! Jingus kicks out of Zack’s finisher!

Zack can’t believe the two count, as he grabs his bloody head with his hands. Zack, in a state of disbelief, lifts Jingus to his feet. As Jingus stands, wobbling, Zack preps for a second School’s Out. However, Jingus grabs Zack’s foot as Zack throws the kick! Jingus spins Zack around and decapitates him with another clothesline! Jingus, running on fumes and adrenaline, lifts Zack up, grabs his face again, and hits a standing CLAWSLAM! Holding his leg, Jingus covers, 1…2….ZACK KICKS OUT OF THE CLAWSLAM AGAIN! The crowd can’t believe it, and neither can Jingus! Jingus covers again, hooking both legs, 1…2…Zack still kicks out!

Jingus gets up and into the official’s face, holding up three fingers while the official holds up two. Jingus argues, but to no avail. Jingus turns and hauls Zack up to his feet. Jingus shoves Zack’s head between his legs, setting him up for the Devilbomb! Jingus lifts, but his leg gives out, and he is forced to release Zack.

Zack, given a second chance, blocks a punch from Jingus, and kicks Jingus square on the knee. Jingus groans and grabs his knee, allowing Zack to hit a SCHOOL’S OUT from the standing position! Jingus is rocked, as Zack backs up and hits a second SCHOOL’S OUT! Jingus stumbles backwards and bounces off the ropes, as Zack turns and runs off the ropes, looking for momentum for a third SCHOOL’S OUT! Jingus finally goes down as Zack scrambles over and covers, the crowd is going insane, Jingus hooks the good leg, 1………….2………………3!

Eliminated: Jingus
Via: Zack, pinfall, School’s Out
Eliminated: Mario, Sandman

Confetti and balloons fall from the ceiling, as the official raises Zack Malibu’s hand.

JR: “ZACK! HE’S DONE IT! ZACK’S FINALLY GOT HIS TITLE SHOT! GOOD LORD, WHAT A FIGHT!â€

The crowd is going insane, as music blares over the PA, fireworks are exploding among the falling streamers and balloons, it is just pure joy. Zack climbs onto the second turnbuckle to salute the crowd.

Amongst the celebration, AP crawls out from under the ring! After taking a moment to notice himself, he notices the celebration and Zack celebrating in the ring. AP slides into the ring as Zack hops down from the turnbuckle, gets the officials attention, hooks Zack in a backslide, and with AP’s feet on the ropes the official counts, 1…2….3!

Eliminated: Zack
Via: AP, pinfall, rope-assisted backslide
Eliminated: Jingus

The entire celebration stops in its tracks. The fireworks stop, the crowd goes silent, even the balloons and confetti appear to stop in mid-air. Agnes and Zack both look stunned, as the official converges with the ring announcer and the officials from ringside. They huddle for what seems to be an eternity, before breaking the huddle. The ring announcer, stunned, shakily takes the microphone, and in a dejected voice.

“I have been informed by the official in the ring, that, that Angle-Plex was never eliminated. Therefore, the winner of this matchup, and the man to receive a title shot at AngleMania, Angle-Plex.â€

The ring announcer throws down the microphone in disgust. AP suddenly gets this bright look in his eyes, as he hops to his feet, lets out a massive scream of celebration, and hops over the ropes to the outside, whooping it up as he runs up the ramp, celebrating his victory.

Jesse: “Jim, what the hell just happened?â€
JR: “Jesse, I have no clue.â€

Zack, slowly, with every emotion possible running through his eyes, slowly stands while eyeing the official. The official is trying to leave, but Zack grabs him by his shirt from behind. The crowd, having gone from ecstatic to silent, is starting to have angry murmurs go through it. A couple fans begin to boo. A fan at ringside yells something about this being happy. The whole place has the feel of a powder keg waiting to explode.

Zack turns the official around and begins to argue with him. The voices of the crowd growing louder and angrier as Zack continues to argue. Finally, Zack grabs the official by his shirt, setting off an eruption from the crowd. Zack spits words at the official, who continues to defend himself. Finally, Zack winds up and decks the official, setting off a massive eruption from the crowd, louder then the one from Zack’s victory!

JR: “Um.â€
Jesse: “Oh shit.â€
JR: “We need to get out of here now. Cut off the feed and get us out of here.â€

Other official slide into the ring, but there is no stopping Zack now. Zack floors one with a right hand, then nails the other with a side kick to the stomach. A third tries to stop Zack, but one look sends him out of the ring, fleeing for his life.

Zack exits the ring as the crowd is still going crazy, and throws over the announce table. JR and Jesse scatter away as Zack begins to dismantle the table violently. The crowd follows Zack’s actions and begin to throw their chairs into the ring, on top of the downed officials. Zack grabs one of the chairs and starts beating it against the announce table in rage, while the crowd is now a full-blown riot, tearing the arena apart. Police enter the ringside area and the crowd, looking to disperse the crowd before anymore damage is done.

The cameramen have been overtaken and assaulted by the crowd. Only the main camera is functional, capturing the insanity. A crazed fan climbs up the tower, grabs the camera, and jams his face into the lens. With a drunken, bloodcurdling scream, he throws the camera to the side, where it falls and smashes into the concrete. The camera buzzes, flashes, and fades, then comes back to life to capture an upside down fire beginning to burn, as the camera finally fades out.

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We return to Jim Ross, who is about to speak when "Quiet" hits in again and Dan Black once more walks down to ringside!

Dan jumps into the ring, this time with a functioning mic, and tells the BOOING crowd to-

BLACK
Shut the f*ck up, you ignorant bastards!

JR
I apologise for the language, folks! Dan is clearly upset.

BLACK
I know what you want to hear...what you want me to talk about...but I'm not going to. I won't be distracted. It's time for another edition of <span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>Meet Dan Black!</span>

JR
Mah gawd, is he still doing this?

BLACK
Now, my scheduled guest cancelled on me...stupid Jackson...so I'm proud..well...kinda... to have instead two members of my good friend PRL's Lightning Crew!

:: "No Chance In Hell" plays ::

The crowd BOOS the appearance of Columbian Heat and Cuban Wall! Heat bounces around, grinning happily as they walk down to the ring, while Wall looks at him coldly with a sneer of disgust.

The two men step into the ring, and Heat starts to dance, encouraging Wall to join in! The big, muscular Wall just stares at Heat until the music stops and Black cuts in.

BLACK
Welcome gentleman, welcome. You know, your boss and I have a lot in common. Both great wrestlers. And great men! And we both have insignificant little problems- annoyances- like the Shuffle...

:: crowd POPS!::

Mad Cappa...

:: POP! ::

and...SpiderPoet...

::POP!::

BLACK
But we know we'll always win, always come out on top. Why? We're the best. It's just a fact. Well, thanks for being here-

HEAT
Hey? Ain't you gonna ask me some questions?

BLACK
Er, sure...um...well...

HEAT
Can I talk about my boots?

BLACK
What? Er, sure, go ahead...

HEAT
Well, I got 'em from a guy who said they're real special- and look, they're all shiny, and-

BLACK
That's great, just great! Well, thank you. Its good to have men around who are a little classier than the likes of SpiderPoet. I mean, that man-

Cue ""

Big POP from the crowd!

Poet runs down to the ring, and grabs the mic from Dan-

POET
Dan Black- I've had enough. Last week, you threatened - assaulted- the love of my life just to get a shot at my title. Well, if you want to play by those rules, that's fine by me.

Dan looks at Poet as if expecting him to continue, but Poet just nails Dan with the mic to the head! Black rolls out of the ring clutching his head- grabs the time keeper- and gets the bell rung!

DING DING DING

JR
What? Is this a match? 3 on 1?!

Wall and Heat jump Poet, but SP ducks Walls punch and dropkicks him down. Heat runs in, but gets armdragged out under the bottom rope!

JR
Poet dealing with the attack- but 3 on 1? This isn't right!

There's a POP as someone comes running out!

JR
It's Reject! Reject helping Poet out! Its 3 on 2 now!

Dan gets back on the apron and into the ring, as he faces Poet down. He looks at Reject and shrugs, beckoning Poet on. SP angrily charges at Dan, who backs away, suckering Poet into the corner when Heat and Wall wait. Dan throws Poet into the turnbuckle and CHOPS him, before tagging in the Cuban Wall.

The massive Wall takes over with another chop, before bringing Poet out of the corner with a high elevation hip toss. Wall drops a big elbow to the sternum of Poet, as Heat bounces up and down and cheers him on.

JR
Cuban Wall is a HOSS, there's no doubt about it! Poet could sustain some serious damage at his hands, and Dan Black would just love that!

Wall picks up Poet easily, double underhooking his arms and flipping him up for a backbreaker! Wall gets Poet up once more and tags in Heat, who jumps to the top rope. Wall holds Poet on his shoulder, and Heat jumps off with an elbow drop as Wall drops back with a Samoan drop!

JR
MAH GAWD! What a double team! Samoan drop with the elbow from Heat as well! These guys may not get on, but they seem to be forming a great team!

Heat covers:

ONE!

TWO!



KICKOUT!

Heat picks Poet up and whips him off the ropes. Poet ducks Heat's lariat, but Heat stops him with a jawbreaker. Heat executes a smart belly to back suplex, and tags in Dan Black.

JR
Poet getting isolate here...he needs to break out or these 3 men could destroy him here and now!

Dan cracks Poet with a trio of European uppercuts, followed by a snap mare takeover. Dan keeps a hold of Poet's neck however, and brings him up, before executing another snapmare! Black drags Poet up once more and again snap mares him!

JR
Rolling snapmares from Dan Black! That's something you don't see very often. Im guessing he wants to dizzy Poet- and also those snapmare will be affecting Poet's neck. Maybe Dan is setting for his Heart of Ice crossface!

Dan stops the snapmares, leaving Poet sitting on the mat, and just kicks him in the back! Another stiff kick! Dan walks past the grimacing SP and gets in Reject's face- but Reject shoves him down, right into a roll up from Poet!

ONE!




TWO!




TH-KICKOUT!

Poet tries to make the tag, but Wall and Heat jump into the ring and double team him! Poet is whipped to the ropes, but ducks their double lariat! Drop kick, a boot to each man! The Lightning Crew go down, and Poet jumps for the tag- but Dan grabs his boot and drags him away!

JR
So close! Mah gawd!

Heat and Wall roll out of the ring as Black brings Poet up and over with a delayed vertical suplex. Dan stomps on Poet and drops a knee, before whipping him hard into the heel's corner and tagging in Wall.

The big man drives his shoulder repeatedly into Poet's midsection, and then goes to work with clubbing forearms and a hard headbutt!

JR
Cuban Wall and Colombian Heat are fine athletes, there's no doubt. But why are they serving PRL like this? They've just been brainwashed by Puerto Rican Lightning! Cuban Wall is drinking PRL's Kool-Aid- he's a zombie, doing everything PRL demands of him. It's not right! Do they have no soul? No heart?

Wall tags in Heat, who vaults into the ring and starts to dance! The crowd laughs as Wall just shakes his head. Heat turns to Dan Black on the apron and gestures for him to join in, but Dan looks away in disgust. With the 3 men distracted, Poet has crawled across the ring!

Heat suddenly sees and dives over, but its too late! Tag to Reject! Aaron Justin is a HOUSE ON FIRE!

Elbows to Wall and Heat! Dropkick to Dan! Wall is back up, and Reject NAILS him with a superkick! Heat staggers into Reject, and Justin sets him for his Styles Clash variant, but Black grabs him from behind for a German suplex!

Reject counters however to a DRAGON suplex! Black is dropped almost on his head! Dan rolls out of the ring.

Heat attacks from behind and nails Reject with a low blow, unseen by the referee! Heat, the legal man, rolls Reject up!

ONE!




TWO!





THRRRRRR-NO! KICKOUT!

JR
MAH GAWD, I thought that was it!

Heat picks Reject up and goes for a piledriver, but Reject backdrops out! Wall tries to attack but the referee holds him back, allowing Reject to return the favour with a low blow to Heat! Reject DDTS Heat, spiking him hard on his head, and jumps up to the top rope! Reject sets for a moonsault, but Dan Black climbs to the top rope on the outside of the ring and slams an elbow into Reject's face!

Dan grabs Reject around the head and jumps off the top, spinning around and hitting a Tornado DDT off the top rope! Cover!

ONE!



TWO!




THREE!







NO! Poet makes the save at the last possible moment!

JR
It's getting crazy here! That was so close! It's breaking down!

Dan Black attacks Poet, stomping on him, but Poet sweeps Dan's legs out from underhim and then nails him with a perfect standing moonsault!

As Poet gets up however he's SPEARED by the Cuban Wall! The air driven out of him, Poet is easily picked up and thrown out by Wall. Dan Black sees Poet lying on the floor, and heads to the top rope!

Dan flips off all the fans before leaping off at Poet with a diving headbutt that CONNECTS!

JR
MAH GAWD! That's insane! Diving headbutt to the floor!

Dan and Poet are both out cold on the floor, while Wall charges at the rising Reject! But Justin drops down and backdrops Wall out over the top rope. Wall hits his head on the ring apron and drops to the ground.

In the ring, Heat runs at Reject and tackles him into the corner. Heat chops Reject and puts him on the top rope- but Reject kicks him off into the centre of the ring! Reject jumps off with a cross body, driving Heat down to the mat- but Heat rolls through, getting the cover with a huge handful of tights!

ONE!



TWO!




TH-No, Reject reverses it again and grabs Heat's tights!

ONE!



TWO!





THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


DING DING DING

GMC
The winners of the match, the team of SpiderPoet and REEEEEEEEEEJECT!

JR
BAH GAWD! Reject did it! He and Poet pulled it off!

At ringside medics are attending to Poet and Dan, while Heat and Wall are dragging themselves away. Reject climbs a turnbuckle, celebrating...

JR
Folks, we're almost out of time!

...as the figure of Stephen Joseph, Big Poppa Popick appears on the ramp, looking at Dan Black's motionless body, a smile on his face...

JR
For everyone on IntenseZone, good night!

FADE

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