Chanel #99 Posted February 13, 2015 Report Share Posted February 13, 2015 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3D RENEE Happy Valentine's Day on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! COACH You gonna be my valentine? RENEE Eh, Daisuke will always have my heart. COACH Daisuke? RENEE I'm sucka for a guy in a cool jacket. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS MATCH MEN-U-PAUSE VS ST.ARCHIBALD'S SCHOOL FOR BAD GIRLS TONIGHT! RENEE There you see it, ladies and gentlemen, that's our a mainevent, a big match! ***Anderson Cup: VICE W/Joey The Rat Vs The Orange Country Cobras W/Melody and n00b Nerdly*** RENEE A trip to the conference finals is on the line, Coach. What do you think the experience factor means in this match? The Cobras only have two matches together as a formal team. VICE has tons! COACH Bitch I told you stop asking me questions. While Renee despaired, Bosley despaired at n00b. According to him, no real dog could be that small. N00b got so pissed Melody had to take him backstage. COACH Hit the groomers, runt! RENEE I think n00b's a cutie. The Cobras didn't miss a beat without their manager and fired off some big brawling moves on VICE. But VICE as always was tough as a two dollar steak. Urged on by Joey they fought back and a wild fight resulted. The match was more like tornado tag rules than anything. It came to an end when Bosley blocked Baron's leaping DDT finisher and hit Justifiable Homicide for the win. Winner: VICE, via pinfall They're winners in name and name alone as Ned returned to the ring and opened up a can of whup ass that left both men laid out! Ever the coward, Joey ran off rather than stick up for his team. Backstage, Silver and The Kings of The Heap are watching the replays and highlights. SCOURGE See that, lad? SILVER Poor sportsmanship! It makes me disgusted. RAYDER He don't care. They both don't care. SCOURGE And they're coming for you, lad. SILVER Me?! What'd I ever do to them? RAYDER You eliminated them both from the Lethal Rumble ye did. They'll want revenge. SILVER But..but..those are the established rules of the match. If we don't follow the rules we'll have despair, and I'm the Ultimate Hope. I live for rules! SCOURGE You won't live fer long if those two blokes have their way. SILVER What do you think I should do? Scourge has the answer and lays his trusted lead pipe in Silver's lap. SILVER RAYDER Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 13, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2015 WHAT'S THE WORST THING DECEMBER HAS EVER DONE TO YOU? SUGAR That's an easy one. An easy A question. The worst thing December ever did to me, Sugar Flair, is thunk she were my equal at anything. See, I didn't always know I was a Flair or nothing, but I always had these Flair genes in me, so I was always more specialer than the next kid. I remember there was this kid hogging the mechanical horsie outside Food Lion one time, and I had saved up a whole gang of quarters to use it. But he weren't leaving that horsie alone. So ya know what I did? I rolled those quarters into my hand and I popped him in the jaw. WHOOOOO~! And the first thing I heard was some guy say “there's something with that kid!” He didn't know what it was, but he saw I was a Flair. He could tell I'm special, that I'm ten times better than normal folk. And twenty times better than Belles, which are retard folk. I can't blame December for being born a Belle, that's just the curse god put on her. But I do blame her for thinking she's just as good as me at anything, and I do blame her for chasing after my title. But, I know she's gonna blame me for ruining her life when I style and profile on her at Sluttymania One. But thems the breaks, December! WHOOOOOOOOO~! SLUTTYMANIA ONE LIVE FROM DUBAI MARCH 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2015 Backstage we see Sophie Grey, looking hot and sharp in a flowing dress, walking when she hears a scream. MELISSA Landagoshin! Sophie peers over her shoulder and finds Melissa hiding behind a potted plant. SOPHIE Melissa, why are you behind zhe pottery? MELISSA Yer just the girl I was looking for. SOPHIE But you are hiding. MELISSA From Maya, but also lookin for ya and I found ya. Thank god I did. SOPHIE What eez wrong, Melissa? Tu es mal? MELISSA I don't know what that means or anything, but I know you gotta pull me outta the Ejaculation Chamber long as you got Maya in it. SOPHIE You and Maya have your 'ow you say issues. MELISSA Rape issues! I fear for my soul as a Christian with her around. SOPHIE I will not take you out of zhe match. Mais oui, I will offer a suggestion. Ca va? Your sister Maggie Nerdly eez in zhe chambre, why not partner with her? Or partner with Cinnamon Spoons, she eez also in zhe chambre. MELISSA Maggie hates me and so does Cinnamon! SOPHIE Zhat, Melissa, eez your problem. Aurevoir. And just like that Sophie leaves, and Melissa goes back to hiding behind pottery. RENEE Coach, that is big news. Cinnamon Spoons and Maggie Nerdly are both in the Ejaculation Chamber! COACH My penis is ready. And its ready now if you're interested. RENEE I'm really not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2015 ***Jade Rodez Duncan Vs Action Jackie*** Before the match we saw footage from the OAOAST App Josh Matthews stands in the locker room with D*LUX MATTHEWS Tyler, Shayne, can you talk about your feelings on Lorelei's betrayal? SHAYNE It sucks, man, it really does. Lots of people were skeptical about Lorelei coming aboard and managing us, but we wanted to give her chance. And it worked out for us. Until she didn't want us anymore. Guess, all those dudes were right. And it, you know, it sucks, because you put your faith in someone, and you become close to them and then they ruin that friendship. MATTHEWS Tyler? TYLER Josh. MATTHEWS Can you give us your thoughts? TYLER No, Josh, as a matter of fact I can't. Tyler's lips form a hard line that scares Josh off COACH What's homie's problem? RENEE I'd think you have a problem if you trusted your career to someone and they stabbed you in the back like Lorelei did. Action Jackie was a plan looking black woman in plain looking clothes. As for Jade she came out full of intensity and put away her foe easily with a reverse x-factor she got from her mama. Winner: Jade Rodez Duncan, via pinfall Post-match, Jade took the microphone! JADE Lorelei, I remember you said you're looking forward to your receipt? Payback time is coming, and I'm gonna pay you with a butt kicking at Sluttymania One. Let's see the manager of legends lead herself out a two minute squash! “YYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” RENEE Coach, that's an aggressive Jade like we've never seen before! COACH She's got that Duncan fire, Lorelei better watch out. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2015 *** Big Boy w/ Carl Arby McDonald vs. Juicy Cantu-Si w/ El Hijo de Sheep *** One word: beatdown. Big Finish package piledriver put Juicy away.Winner: Big Boy, via pinfall. With Juicy incapacitated Big Boy looked to destroy the oversized mascot of All The Sheep’s Men, El Hijo de Sheep. REENE Come ON! Isn’t winning enough? Big Boy placed El Hijo de Sheep in the corner and went up for a Belly Bomb. COACH Say adios, varmint. And hola to The Sheep, I suppose! As Big Boy prepared to crash down, MARIACHI sprinted to the ring and kicked Big Boy LOW… BIG BOY … followed by a dropkick that sent the big man falling to the floor! “YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Having bailed as soon as Mariachi appeared, Carl collects Big Boy who burns a hole through Mariachi. Despite lacking in size, Mariachi challenges Big Boy back in, but Carl nixes any possibility of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2015 WHAT'S THE WORST THING SUGAR HAS EVER DONE TO YOU? DECEMBER Mmmmm. Mmmm. Thinking, thinking. Still thinning. Done thinking. Sugar used to love horses, but not in a creepy way. No, I don't think so. And I given her money to ride the mechanical horse outside Food Lion, while I went inside 'cause I was gonna surprise her with a cupcake. But when I got outisde, oh man, it was a Hezbollah bombing, she rocked this poor little dude in the jaw. Not cool. Nope. Double plus uncool. But when it came time to go back to grandma's house, Sugar was panicking over getting the belt. So, I don't mind being beat in creepy and non creepy ways, not really, no. So I took the rap and got the belt. But while I was being thwacked hella times, Sugar was raiding my pocket book and taking what allowance I didn't already give to her. And that's only the worst thing she did to me in the month of August in1998. I've never held any grudges against Sugar for the cataclysmic disaster she's made of my life. Mostly because of xanax. But also because she's my cousin. She's not a Flair, she's a Belle. A dysfunctional, wild, out of control Belle, and sometimes a Belle needs to get rung hard, and Sugar, I'm your Belle ringer. Heh, clever lines, December. You're moving up in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2015 Footage was shown of Ser Timothy Cash at OAOVW, watching the developmental wrestlers, or at least the male ones at work. We also saw him talking with several and he even got in the ring with a few. The announcers said that Ser Timothy was scouting people to add to Landon's Kingsguard. Prior to our next bout, viewers were taken back to earlier this past week on OAOAST SYN where the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club and Pretty Dreamy, Bitches were brought together at the world famous interview lounge to discuss their upcoming Anderson Cup showdown. Instead the segment turned into a mutual admiration circle jerk, disgusting PDB valet Bobbi Cheesecake and OAOAST Hall of Famer/correspondent Terry Taylor alike. With both teams conscientious of their looks, all agreed not to strike one another in the face during their meeting and party afterwards regardless of the outcome. Kareem made mention how killer he was on the dance floor, causing Lucius to stifle laughter. Offended, the Dream fired back, asking “What’s so funny, twiggy?” LUCIUS KAREEM You heard me, brotha. I could use you as a toothpick! Voices raised and tensions built, despite the best efforts of Rico and A$AP Blondie to keep the peace. COACH Just what The Man likes: two brothers fighting. *tsk* REENE I’m not even going to touch that one. COACH Go ahead. My former partner always wanted to anyway. REENE Or that one!*** Anderson Cup, Semifinals: The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club vs. Pretty Dreamy, Bitches w/ Bobbi Cheesecake *** Accompanying her uncle and his partner to ringside was Bobbi Cheesecake, a/k/a Purple Wig Girl (to everyone but them), who remained firmly in their corner vigilante of a possible Malaysia appearance. REENE Bobbi very aware pf the potential presence of Malaysia. COACH I thought chicks liked to feel wanted? REENE Loved, yes. But Malaysia is out to hurt. In fact, I don’t even think she knows what love is, which is so sad. Right off the bat we got Lucius and Kareem mouthing off to each other, then strutting their stuff in an impromptu dance-off! REENE So You Think You Can Dance: OAOAST edition! A spotlight falls on the ring as Kareem dances like a stereotypical white guy, only fatter. But he pulls off the worm, albeit a very sloppy version. And by that I mean it looks more like a whale than a worm. COACH Whaaa…? BLONDIE BOBBI RICO & LUCIUS As you’d expect, Lucius’ got talent. He even throws in THE ROBOT~! Sweet Lu finishes by strutting up to Kareem and delivering a PIMP SLAP~!!! KAREEM The lights come back up as Kareem charges Lucius, who uses his speed to hit-and-run. Eventually Rico and A$AP find their way in and stick to the self-imposed no punching to the face stip, until Rico connects with a Scott Hall-style open hand punch. BLONDIE You--You punched me! I thought we agreed not in the face?! Rico correctly points out it was open-handed, even has the ref back him up. Upset, Blondie rubs his cheek and fires a forearm. Again. And again. Rico returns fire and soon both guys are throwing punches to their faces! REENE So much for their gentlemanly agreement. Late in the bout all 4 men are fighting inside, with Blondie mounted on Lucius in the corner and hammering away. Rico manages to send Kareem falling out to the floor and surprises Blondie with a MUSTACHE RIDE~! Lucius covers, but Rico’s still in the ring. As he’s escorted back to the corner by the ref, Kareem sneaks in and delivers a XXXL SPLASH on Lucius and places Blondie on top for the 1-2-3. REENE Talk about taking one for the team. A$AP Blondie took as much punishment as Lucius Soul from that Triple XL Splash. They now move on to face the Christ Air Express in the Jannetty Bracket Conference Finals! Winners: Pretty Dreamy, Bitches, via pinfall. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS MATCH MEN-U-PAUSE VS ST.ARCHIBALD'S SCHOOL FOR BAD GIRLS TONIGHT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2015 SPOONS RESIDENCE Lovelock, NV The expansive land that is the Spoons home plays host to.. GEDRUN, who is tidying up her garden, while her youngest daughter... ANNAGRET WICKEDBORN is annoyed she has to help GEDRUN It was foolish for your sister to turn this Colin Sr into a valkyrie. Foolishness. ANNAGRET Jeez, cut her some slack. She was trying to save your life. GEDRUN At the price of turning this man into a Valkyrie. What did she know about him? ANNAGRET I dunno, ask her. Gawd! GEDRUN You don't know? You're party to this too of course, Annagret. ANNAGRET I'm party to nada. But, like, so what if I was? My dad is burning grilled cheese at a diner in Maryland, I wasn't gonna let my mom stay as Colin's hostage. No way. GEDRUN The Valkyries are a holy order. ANNAGRET Which is why you ditched first chance you got. GEDRUN Annagret, they are a step bellow god. One doesn't just make new valkyries to serve their own needs. ANNAGRET Hello? Our need was to rescue you, which mission accomplished, obvi. And now I can hit back at them and take out Anastasia so they don't try this BS again. Ugh, you used to be a lot cooler when I was little. GEDRUN And you used to be much more obedient. ANNAGRET The times are a changing I s'pose. MAN(OS) Excuse me? Package for Annagret? A portly delivery man arrives carrying a sack. ANNAGRET What kind of UPS dude delivers crap in a sack? MAN This is from the Violet Shark. The man dumps the contents of the sack on the ground. Or should I say content for its nothing more than a severed shark's head. GEDRUN Goodness. ANNAGRET That bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2015 RENEE Sluttymania One is fast approaching, but after that we have Anglemania, where Krista Isadora Duncan contends for her ninth world title against King Landon Maddix. And none other than Terry Taylor sat down at OAOAST HQ in Los Angeles to chat with the record holding three time Lethal Rumble Winner. OAOAST HQ Los Angeles, CA Just as Renee promised, we're in a studio at OAOAST HQ. Terry and Krista sit in leather chairs, with Krista wearing a sexy business suit and hot glasses. TERRY Krista, in just two months time you will face King Landon Maddix for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title. Is there anything you'd like to say to King Landon? KRISTA Terry, honey, as you and I both know sometimes, every once in a while, every once in a blue moon in fifth retrograde, Alix drops a shimmering nugget of wisdom. TERRY Very true. KRISTA But as we both know, its only when she's pretending to be black. And since its black history month, and we as white people are pretending we don't live in irrational fear of our brown skinned cousins, I'll share one of Alix's negro nuggets. Its not what you walk away from, its what you walk away with. TERRY I remember when she said that. I didn't expect her to shoot me in the foot. KRISTA No one ever does. But how can we apply that to our world? Why not apply it to our King Landon Maddix? King Landon has a golden opportunity that few men ever receive. The chance to take my offer of mercy and walk away from his world title , but most importantly walk away with his dignity and unstretched asshole still intact. TERRY You never give me those chances. KRISTA I'm becoming a kinder Jew as I age. TERRY Can I have some money for the bus? KRISTA Choke on shit and die, asshole. As I was saying, King Landon, I extend this rare, one of a kind offer to you, not for your benefit. But for Queen Esther's benefit. It really does shock me that someone who talks to animals, his an uncle who's a squirrel, and cousin who's a goat, would be naieve enough to believe you're a remotely decent human being . But she does, and I wouldn't dare have her watch me punt your testicles to an as of yet undiscovered dwarf planet. TERRY But what if King Landon doesn't take your offer? KRISTA Then....he will walk away from Anglemania....with his dignity in tatters, his nipples oozing blood, his eyes swollen shut, his urethra pierced by a tire iron, and his asshole stretched wide enough for the western conference all stars to make their entrance through. TERRY I'd take the first offer. But Ser Timothy Cash, Lord Commander of the Kingsguard has promised to find King Landon more men to protect him from you. KRISTA Ser Timothy Cash, I wish you well in finding men to protect King Landon from yours truly. I really do. And when you find these men, I hope you tell them if they stand against me I will have their children slaving away making FIT with KID headbands in an Indonesian sweatshop, I will have their wives used for the fecal theme pleasures of Arab princes, and I will have their homes and belongings consumed in an all burning flame. Tell them that, Ser Timothy Cash, and see how many people wanna sign up for your faggot ass King Arthur boy scouts. TERRY That's Krista Isadora Duncan, everyone! COMING SOON TO E! TOTAL GINGERS AISLING (in rocker voice) Let's do some lines and fuck some underage whores! HOLLY Logan, has your cock shrunk since the last time we (beep)? ARCHIE Sabrina, the cat will drown! Take him out! PIERETTE What's the problem you still have an eye. ANASTASIA I don't normally shoot my ex-boyfriends. But I have stabbed more than my fair share. QUEEN ESTHER No sister lion, cousin zebra is our friend, your jaws will break his neck! COMING SOON TO E! COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2015 * BZZZZZZT * OMG~! For the second week in a row the mystrious hidden camera captures MR. DICK and MALAYSIA chatting, despite them meeting up this time inside the LADIES’ RESTROOM. OMG~! is everywhere! Anyway, MD barricades the door with his body to keep from being disturbed. But again no audio. This is a quickie, not an extended cut. Same ending as last week though, with MD exiting after a pat to Malaysia’s butt. * BZZZZZZT * OMG~! REENE What is that all about? COACH Dunno. We can try our own version later if you’d like. REENE Now you’re the sex crazed broadcaster! COACH I always was! Just wasn’t into dudes!*** Sonic Jr. w/ Carl Arby McDonald vs. Chick Golden *** What you need to know: Chick’s legit last name is Golden, as mentioned by RC (!) prior to the bout. He also used to run with Slaughterhouse long before the group adopted said name, but got kicked out after plans were put in place to align with Deuce Deuce Bigelow. Chick managed to exact a measure of revenge, however, defeating Sonic with a top rope sit-down cannonball called the Golden Egg, better known as the Whoopie Cushion.Winner: Chick, via pinfall. The win came at a price as the entire Slaughterhouse, including Deuce, rushed the ring and gave Chick a beating until ALL THE SHEEP’S MEN made the save! COACH Here’s Dumb & Dumber to help Dumberer. Mariachi and Juicy assist Chick to his feet and challenge Slaughterhouse to step inside. REENE They look more like 3 Amigos if you ask me. OAOAST officials keep Slaughterhouse at bay while Mariachi and Juicy raise Chick’s hand in victory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2015 Backstage, OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood is joined by Logan Mann, the Playmakers and their All-XFL Team general manager Rick Heyross to hype up tonight‘s 6 man between them and U.S. Champion Oscar Friberg, Blaine Cayley and Alexander The Brutal. Heyross puts over his team‘s credentials and tells Logan he couldn‘t have drafted anybody better to fight alongside him later this evening. Logan agreed, bringing up the epic rivalry between them and the Heavenly Rockers from many years ago. LOGAN That’s why I came to you once I got hit with this 6-man. I needed the best on my side. Not that I couldn’t beat their asses all by myself mind you, but you know how they roll: they’re cheaters! Especially Oscar and Alexander. You saw how they conspired against me at Anglepalooza. And Blaine? Man, that guy needs a chill pill. But if he wants to get hot with me, I’ll ice him. *** Logan Mann & The Playmakers w/ Rick Heyross vs. U.S. Champion Oscar Friberg, Blaine Cayley & Alexander The Brutal *** Fast paced and energetic, the finish triggered quite an explosion after a lack of communication -- or perhaps simply being at the wrong place at the right time -- resulted in Blaine eating a big boot courtesy of Alexander. Given his short fuse he was not pleased and got in Alexander's grill, calling him clumsy. Alexander took exception to Blaine showing him up and barked back, leading to some pushing and shoving. Oscar attempted to play peacemaker but was shoved away by both superstars… into the direction of a wicked left hook by Logan, followed by the LIBERATION DDT! The cover. The Playmakers stand guard to prevent any attempt to breakup the pin, but BLAINE does that for him by pulling Alexander aside to chew him out some more! REENE And they say girls are catty! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!Winners: Logan Mann & The Playmakers, via pinfall. TO THE BACK~!, where the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club watch on a monitor at the world famous interview lounge. They've had issues in the past with Blaine so they're amused by his misfortune. RICO & LUCIUS Logan celebrates by screaming into the camera “See! I told you I’m the one and only U.S. Champ! I pinned that chump clean without that big idiot being around to save him! I’m the champ!” COACH You da the real champ Logan! Now pissed himself, Oscar confronts Blaine and Alexander. Words fly, as do shoves until the rest of Team Scream and Tanner Neptune arrive to keep the powder keg from exploding. OAOAST correspondent Sara Jean Underwood comes out to grab some words but Oscar, Blaine and Alexander are still hot at each other. Sara Jean follows the guys backstage. ALEXANDER You guys better get him under control or someone will. Maybe me! BLAINE Don’t press our luck. ALEXANDER Is that so? Jo-Jo and BTK calm Alexander down. OAOAST officials arrive to escort Alexander away. SARA JEAN Guys, can I get a word about what went down out there? In what has to be a first for a hottie like Sara Jean, she’s ignored! JO-JO What do you say? No hard feelings guys? OSCAR (to Blaine) I’m good if you’re good. BLAINE Fine. Whatever. As the guys approach their dressing room they find ROSE PETALS on the ground. BTK The hell? The guys open their dressing room door. Illuminated by candlelight only, a stunning figure pops up from a heart-shaped seat. OSCAR, JO-JO, BTK & TANNER Hey, handsome! HAPPY VALEN-- AAH!!! TANNER About there being no hard feelings… I’m gonna have to change my tune on that. BLAINE Shut up, man! That’s my sister. OSCAR, JO-JO, BTK & TANNER Blaine’s sister covers up and races into his arms, wrapping her legs around him tight as she shrieks in excitement giving him a big hug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2015 RENEE If you follow the OAOAST's twitter feed, or check out the website, or use our app, or any of the millions of ways to get info, you know that Pierette Saint-Nerdregard has accepted Morgan's challenge for a Dubai Debauchery match at Sluttymania one on March 15. But what you may not know is that Pierette has taklen a tour of the Jeremiuah Beach venue for the show, and we've got some footage. HOTEL KITCHEN Pirette gazes wide eyed around the heavily stocked kitchen of the hotel, and the workers gaze wide at her. PIERETTE These are a good amount of knives! Hey Taco Bell Ray? WORKER PIRETTE If you were gonna stab up your cousin and dump her body in the ocean. Just if, just if, because you may not have a female cousin. What oh what knife would you use? WORKER Islam preaches against violence. PIERETTE Oh, ho, ho, ho! I'll believe I can fly before I believe that! BEACH Pierette, clad in a striped red and yellow bikini has a seat next to a little kid building a sand castle. PIERETTE Little kid, stress is building. Tension is too high! KID Who are you? PIERETTE I haven't stabbed someone in eight hours and the world is collapsing in on itself! Would you rather stab your cousin or dump sand down their throat until they suffocate to death? KID WAAAAAHHHHHHH! PIERETTE So both? STOREROOM Pierette watches a gang of terrorists assembling bombs and heavy machine guns. PIERETTE Nothing I can kill Morgan with her. Nothing at all. TWENTITH FLOOR Pierette stands looking over the ledge in the hallway with a service repair man. PIERETTE Let me ask you a question, service with a smile? WORKER I just need to vacuum the hallway? PIERETTE If I pushed my cuz over this balcony right hurr, she'd die instantly on landing? Yes? No? What's the word? WORKER PIERETTE I need her to die BOOM right on impact with the floor. Because, because, if I have to run downstairs and kill her, that's going to take too much time and her vamp fuck buddy may heal her! These are the problems I deal with! My life is so awful! But, you've been a big help, I'm gonna call you Handy Orton. Thanks! Pierette slaps the worker on the back. And sends him hurtling over the balcony to the floor bellow. PIERETTE Got my answer! TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS MATCH MEN-U-PAUSE VS ST.ARCHIBALD'S SCHOOL FOR BAD GIRLS TONIGHT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2015 ***Men-U-Pause Vs St.Archibald's School For Bad Girls*** This match was to determine the number one contender for the women's tag titles at Sluttymania I. Before it began Aisling presented Archie with V-Day chocolates. SABRINA Yummies! Sarbina took the food out of Archie's hand and started pigging out. So while Archie lectured her on stealing, and she stuffed her face with food, Aisling had to fend off both members of Men-U-Pause. RENEE Coach, Aisling and Sabrina did beat Men-U-Pause in that big tag team turmoil match at New Years Spectacular. Don't forget. COACH That was two months ago, babygirl. That's like two decades ago in wrestling. Luckily, Aisling is half demon half vampire so fighting a two on one match wasn't so difficult. Still the constant cheap shots, and hard hitting offense of her foes did wear on her. A failed step up fame-asser allowed Holly to take her down with a Piss on Your Grave tombstone that got a close two. We went to commercial break with Malaysia grinding on Aisling's neck. Back from break Sabrina was finally wrestling and showed a lot of speed and heart for her age experience level. But, she was ground to a halt by a tilt a whirl into a powerbomb by Malaysia. From there Men-U-Pause took control of the match, and worked over Sabrina's neck. The end looked to come when Holly set up the Percussion DDT. But Sabrina countered with bridging Northern lights! With the hot tag made to Aisling all hell broke loose! The four Hotties cursed and brawled and even Archie got into it, as Holly punched him in the nuts for no reason whatsoever. But when she got back in the ring, Aisling hit her with All My Friends are Dead (STO into the turnbuckles) She pinned Holly, but RHAENYS pulled the referee out the ring...but he managed to count three before he fully got him out! Winner: Saint Archibald's School for Bad Girls, via pinfall Post-match Sabrina and Aisling taunted a furious Rhaenys, who had to be escorted backstage by Mathis Golden and Brock Ausstin lest she make a fool of herself! FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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