Chanel #99 Posted January 27, 2015 Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3D Inside Mister Maguire's penthouse apartment we find Cinnamon Spoons overseeing the planning table, joined by Annagret Wickedborn and Teddy Buckworth. CINNAMON Operation: Rescue Mommy begins! Mister Maguire Senior steps out from the shadows. You wouldn't know he's him unless I told you. For he wears a pitch black suit of armor with the crest of a four leaf clover on the front. His open face helm runs red and black with imposing horns on top to give him a demonic look. MAGUIRE SR A stupid name, but as long as it ends with my son's death all is the same. ANNAGRET You didn't turn Lucky Charms into a Valkyrie did you? BUCKWORTH This is the price we were required to pay. MAGUIRE SR If you want your mother back you would be wise to be seen and not heard from, girl. ANNAGRET I'm a goddess, you're a junior Valkyrie, I'll beat the pot of gold out your ass. SIMON (OS) I see the fireworks have already begun. Heads turn to see Molly and Simon entering the room. BUCKWORTH Simon? SIMON Apologies, I would have been here sooner, but I needed an ice latte. MOLLY And we forgot the C4. CINNAMON C4? You have explosives?! SIMON And much more, Cinnamon. As I have explained to you, you are as much my family as any other. If your mom is kidnapped, then my mom is kidnapped. And I don't abide by that sort of thing. Now, Teddy, I want you to hold these. Simon passes Teddy what looks like a box of Milk Duds. TEDDY Simon, you are aware that I am lactose intolerant? SIMON I hope you're not grenade intolerant. These are condensed poison grenades. No one will die, but their weekend plans might be cut short. MOLLY I'll have cameras for all of you to wear and I can relay information back and forth to you. TEDDY And you Simon? What role will you have? SIMON My pardons to Bradley Cooper, but I am the new American Sniper. CINNAMON Thank you, Simon! Cinnamon leans into Simon and gives him a huge hug! ANNAGRET Don't thank him yet, we haven't done anything. BUCKWORTH Then we ought to begin this mission. MAGUIRE SR Colin is mine, no one elses. COMMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 *** Anderson Cup, First Round: Dem Bums w/ Congressman Duncan vs. Brock Ausstin & Mathis Golden w/ Rick Heyross *** In the fastest match in Anderson Cup history, the OAOAST Galaxy witnessed All-XFL Team members Brock Ausstin and Mathis Golden defeat Dem Bums in :10 after Brock snatched Tony’s box of Lucky Charms and ripped it in half! TONY HEYROSS Paralyzed with shock and awe, the chubby chubster pissed his pants, spewing enough leakage to cause pieces of Lucky Charms left scattered in the ring to float by in a stream of… well, you know. VINNY Unfortunately for Vinny, he got caught looking with a Heart of Gold Superman punch courtesy of Matty Gold, leading to the easy 1-2-3.Winners: Brock Ausstin & Mathis Golden, via pinfall. After the match U.S. Champion Oscar Friberg cut a promo hyping his upcoming title defense at Anglepalooza against Logan Mann. He wants his stolen belt back and he's gonna beat Logan to get it! COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 EGO STRIP CLUB Dallas, Texas Its a fitting strip club name for the resident of the VIP area, none other than Bohemoth! His guest of the night is none other than Rick Heyross. HEYROSS Without a doubt, Bohemoth, you know how to entertain. BOHEMOTH Hey, only the best for the Champagne Papai. HEYROSS Yes! BOHEMOTH The party doesn't have to end here, Rick. It can go on and on till the break of dawn. HEYROSS Can it? BOHEMOTH Become my manager, Ricky. You and I, what heights can't we go to. How many Anglemania's can we mainevent together. How much can you and THE MAN make? HEYROSS A lot, I'll give you that. BOHEMOTH That's all you need to know. Let's get it. HEYROSS But, Xavier... BOHEMOTH We'll call a truce. You cool with that? HEYROSS I'm cool with that of course. But is Xavi- BOHEMOTH Hey, Ricky, look at that stripper. Is she on rollerblades? Bohemoth points out a cute stripper with a chubby face, red hair and rollerblades. Why if I didn't know any better I'd say that's.... HEYROSS AISLING! BOHEMOTH I got you, Ricky H! Bohemoth shelters Heyross away and guides him to the rear stairs of the VIP area. HEYROSS She's gonna kill me! Heyross waddles down the stairs, but doesn't move nearly fast enough. BOHEMOTH I got you! Bohemoth goes so far as to scoop Heyross up and carry him in his arms! I ain't even lying! With the big fat manager in his arms. Bohemoth carries him down the stairs and bursts through the exit. Bohemoth reaches his Mercedes in seemingly record time. He puts Heyross safely inside and then hops himself. Just as Aisling skates towards them, Bohemoth is able to pull away and save Heyross from her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 We find Jade Rodez-Duncan standing in front of her beautiful grandmother Genevieve inside the Duncan family dressing room. JADE Thanks for agreeing to help me, Grandma. GENEVIEVE For the love of god, why do you children insist on calling me that? I've given you alternative names have I not? JADE Empress Genevieve? GENEVIEVE Yes, yes! Now it is my pleasure to rescue you from your sexual ineptitude. JADE I wouldn't say I'm inept. GENEVIEVE And the zebra would say it doesn't have stripes. But lo and behond it has stripes. JADE Can you just help me not make a fool of myself at the Lethal Bang? GENEVIEVE As I said I would so I will. No Duncan girl will be outshone by common women! This should fall on your mother to assist you, but she lacks in any semblance of responsibility or obligation. That is why I've forced her to be our demonstrator. JADE You have? GENEVIEVE Krista! Oh, Krista! Krista sulks into the room with a frown for her mother. KRISTA I heard you the first time. GENEVIEVE Then you should have come the first time, obviously. Look at this woman, your mother. JADE Hi, mom. KRISTA Hey. GENEVIEVE She's not your everyday whore. She's a filthy whore, completely without class or pride. Isn't that correct? KRISTA Of course, mother. GENEVIEVE Good. Now we need to take a little Jade out of Jade and put a little Krista in its place. Do you follow me? JADE Yes. GENEVIEVE Answer quicker, are you slow, girl? Krista, how do you think Jade should win the Lethal Bang? KRISTA You're soliciting my input? Is this a set up? GENEVIEVE Am I surrounded by lackwits? KRISTA Whether you win or not doesn't matter, its how many cocks you can suck. GENEVIEVE (massaging Krista's shoulders) Your mother, Jade, for once has the right idea. Enjoy it, its rare she's right about anything. My sweet eldest child is yearning to suck up semen like a hoover. KRISTA Not the robot vacuums, those miss spots. JADE But they're so adorable! GENEVIEVE Gentlemen! Several young men enter the room, owners of raging erections. JADE Who are these guys? GENEVIEVE I put an add on Backpage. And these fine men responded within seconds. Big breasted blond available for oral fun, only fifty dollars. KRISTA Only fifty dollars! GENEVIEVE Just because you're filthy whore doesn't mean you're a talented one and I refuse to cheat the paying public. If you want to prove you have any talent then these cocks are waiting to be sucked. KRISTA Could you at least try to be encouraging? GENEVIEVE Possibly. Now hurry up, I have a tennis lesson soon. Krista sinks to her knees, with the men making happy moves closer to her. As her mother commanded, Krista begins sucking cock right away. GENEVIEVE Your mother wastes no time licking the tip or massaging the head, you see. JADE She just dove right in! GENEVIEVE What else would you expect? GENEVIEVE Look at that, Jade, what do you see? JADE She grabbed a second penis? GENEVIEVE I've raised your mother to be such a shameless whore she can't be satisfied just sucking a cock. She has to grab this total stranger's dick and jerk it off. Could you do that? JADE I dunno.. GENEVIEVE Of course you can, you are your mother's daughter, and have the same filthy whore instincts as she does. GENEVIEVE Tell me, Jade, does it turn you on seeing your mother degrading herself into a filthy fuck pig. JADE ….A little GENEVIEVE Good, because you can achieve the same level of whoredom as she. You will achieve the same level of whoredom. GENEVIEVE This is our fitness queen. Our health nut with her daily diet of dicks and helping of cum down the throat. She's the kind of whore a mother can be proud of. And you will be to Well then, I have my tennis lesson to be off to. JADE What about all these guys? GENEVIEVE Oh right. Gentlemen? MEN Yes? GENEVIEVE I do believe my daughter is ripe for a gangbang. Jade, take good notes. Toodles. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 World Title Contract Signing for AP SOPHIE Bievenue one and all! Tyler and Shayne are you ready for zhe biggest match of your adult lives? SHAYNE Abso- LORELEI Of course they are. Once upon a time they weren't ready, not with their old managerial situation. Because that situation took them nowhere. One Anderson Cup. One tag title win. Nothing more. Just a few months of success and years of failure and mediocrity. JADE LORELEI But with my guidance, my experience in leading winners they are now ready. Finally they are ready to take the next step in their OAOAST careers. In their lives! And its all thanks to me that they're ready. They better be at least or I just wasted over a year of my life. COLE That last part wasn't very encouraging. SOPHIE Signons certains contrats! Unaware of the tense mood Lorelei created Sophie hands Shayne the pen. Also oblivious to any wrongs, Shayne puts pen to paper. SOPHIE Merci, Shayne. SHAYNE No problem. Thanks for giving me and Tyler this opportunity. This is what you dream about when you're a kid, winning a world title, being the man, apologies to Bohemoth. Heh. The pen is passed to Tyler, who hurriedly scribbles his signature onto the paper. SOPHIE Tyler is zhere anything you'd like to say? TYLER Not right now, no. SOPHIE ….Very well. King Landon. Wearing a goofy and obnoxious smile, King Landon attaches his signature to the paper. KING LANDON I do have something to say right now. SOPHIE Of course. KING LANDON Lorelei says she's made you two ready. Ready for this match sure I'll give you that. Lorelei's great at her job, she's led Teddy Buckworth, Colin Maguire Junior and Bohemoth to the promised land. And one day she may lead the both of you there. But that day isn't going to be Anglepalooza 2015, and its not going to be anytime soon. Tyler raises his eyebrow at this assessment. KING LANDON Yeah, you're ready for this match like I said. But you're not ready to be world champions. Not by a long shot. But, that's part of the reason you came into my fold. You came to learn how to be champions and how to be winners. I'm not done teaching you yet.. You still have some stuff to learn and I'm still willing to teach you. That is I'm willing to teach you right now. Your king's attitude might change after Anglepalooza. It depends on how you conduct yourself during the match. If you please me, I guarantee one day you'll be world champions. But if you displease me....you'll never climb out the whole you dig for yourself. Think about it. King Landon sets down the microphone with his theme music blaring overhead. His smile is less goofy, less obnoxious and much more devilish and sinister. COLE What does he mean please and displease him? What is he driving at? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 HOTTIES ON THE LETHAL BANG HOLLY Like I already (beep) told you, these sacks of shits in the OAOAST know how to make each other cum in the shower better than they know how to make me cum. DASHA Dasha telling you the peoples of the world to grab seat, make underwear go down and get ready for some hot hot Eastern European style fucking! ANASTASIA Everyone loves a redhead, so its most likely the boys will ejaculate just at thought of doing me. They won't even be able to last to touch me. GLOSS I've spent the last two weeks getting ultra prepared for this in Australia. Every day I've been gangbanged by an undiscovered tribe of Aborigines. A dingo tried to eat my pussy but Spencer chased it off with a rock. MAYA I may be the Teenage Fuck Slut from hell, but I'm a nice girl you can bring home to mom also. And just like my mom I plan on taking some dicks in the ass! LYRIC There are very few women as good as good I. Not only am I pleasing to the eyes, but I fuck like a beast. Anal, oral cumshots, double penetration - you name the sex act, and I've done it...a hundred times. I have no morals and that's the way you like it. MAGGIE If these dumb skanks think they can outlast me in the Lethal Bang they've got another thing cumming besides a few dicks. BUSTY Heh. No one's gonna ever do me better than BPT, but hey, I'll go down on anyone willing to try. DECEMBER Sugar better watch out. I've used every variety of dildo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Backstage, All The Sheep’s Men introduced OAOAST Hottie Sara Jean Underwood to El Hijo de Sheep, an oversized pink plastic sheep with “huevos grandes” and a “corazón de gold” like his papa. The guys vowed to avenge the murder of The Sheep. We then cut to the arena cafeteria kitchen where Jack Wendy cooks a burger, Sonic Jr. plays with fire and Big Boy finished up his pre-match meal -- lamb chops. Meanwhile, the dapperly attired Carl Arby McDonald cracks a smile, disgusting OAOAST Hall of Famer Terry Taylor. TERRY You guys are sick! I can’t believe you’d bring me here just to taunt All The Sheep’s Men! CARL Taunt? No, Mr. Taylor. Professionalism is a must, even in the face of lies, innuendo and accusations. TERRY You call serving Mariachi his own amigo, The Sheep, for dinner professional? CARL Merely serving an order. TERRY Order? CARL Care to try our Flame-Boiled Whopper? TERRY Let’s get outta here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 *** Anderson Cup, First Round: All The Sheep’s Men w/ El Hijo de Sheep vs. Beef “Big Boy” Burger & Sonic Jr. w/ Carl Arby McDonald *** In the final opening round AC bout, ATSM came out en fuego against the men they hold responsible for their amigo’s demise. Eventually Big Boy used his size to ground Mariachi, but the flaming luchador mounted a comeback and tagged in partner Juicy. Just when victory seemed near, as Juicy had Sonic hoisted on his shoulders for a top rope hurricarana by Mariachi… DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOW stormed ringside, knocking Mariachi to the floor and posting him into the steel as Carl distracted the ref. COLE What is this?! COACH I think All The Sheep’s Men just got served their Flame-Boiled Whopper! A Big Boy big boot greeted Juicy, causing Sonic to fall on top for the cover.Winners: Beef “Big Boy” Burger & Sonic Jr. , via pinfall. After the match Deuce hammered away on a bloody Mariachi, his mask ripped from hitting the ringpost. DEUCE You think I’d forget?! Huh?! OAOAST officials finally arrive on the scene to stop the chaos, prompting Deuce to raise his arms in triumph. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 HOSPITAL ROOM Los Angeles, CA Clem Buzzlefoxer is getting the best care the OAOAST can buy for a knee that was brutalized by Leon Rodez and Scourge. CLEM This lime jello is delicious! I'm gonna order ten more. Maybe that cute nurse will come by and give me a sponge bath! LEON (OS) Am I cute enough for you, Clem? CLEM Leon Rodez strides through the door in his striking black costume, with Rayder and Silver at his side. SILVER How are you doing, Clem? CLEM I'm gonna call security on you! LEON And tell them what, Clem? You're denying your just deserves. CLEM I didn't deserve what your goon did to me! LEON You sold out your principals for special benefits and riches? What did we call that? RAYDER Distasteful. Very. CLEM What are you here for? LEON To heal you. What else would I be hear for. CLEM Heal me? You put me here! LEON And now I'm getting you out. With a wave of hand. Yes, Leon waves his hands across Clem's face. And Clem's life line goes ___________ LEON Rest in peace, Clem. With out another look to the man he just killed Leon heads to the door with Silver and Rayder dutifully following behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 ***Lethal Rumble Preview: Krista Isadora Duncan Vs Ser Pike Pantera Vs Tony Tourettes Vs Daisuke Vs Ned Blanchard Vs Outlaw Cello Vs Remy Bazil*** Remy spent his part of the match trying to pin Double Duty Tony for the 24/7 title! But his quest was unsucessful and he wound being tossed over the ropes by Krista. Daisuke was on a roll, cleaning house but couldn't handle Ser Pike Pantera who press slammed him out of the ring. Tony made the big mistake of curssing out Ned and got his ass beat and thrown out the match for this folly. This marked the second loss of the night for poor Tone. Ned in turn was dumped over the ropes, taken unaware by Pike just as Krista got rid of Cello. Krista and Ser Pike had an epic showdown with the fans pouring out their support for Krista. But she couldn't overpower The Wayward Son who eliminated her for the stunning win! Winner: Ser Pike Pantera Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 The OAOAST Gives a Damn Quote Standing alone in front of a white backdrop BIG PAPA THRUST (shirtless and w/ shades) takes a deep breath, psyches himself up, cracks his neck, shrugs shoulders and then takes another deep breath. BIG PAPA THRUST Okay, I’m ready. AND I HOPE YOU’RE READY, YOU TREASONOUS BITCH! You and that dick! First you break my heart then you play with my emotions! Instead of showing you compassion I just should’ve knocked you on your ass in the heat of passion! You played me for a fool not once but twice, you disgusting whore! WHORE! And your new boyfriend? He’s a pantless prickless pussy! PANTLESS PRICKLESS PUSSY! *makes rudely gesture* FUCK YOU! *makes rudely gesture* AND FUCK YOU! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ANYONE! BPT shoves camera down and exits frame. The OAOAST Gives a Damn... except Big Papa Thrust. He doesn't give a damn about anyone! TO THE BACK~!, where OAOAST Hall of Famer/correspondent Terry Taylor is joined by OOHLALA and MR. DICK who appears amused by the situation, a shit-eating grin etched across his face. TERRY Dick, Oohlala, you’ve just seen the remarks made by Big Papa Thrust. You reaction? MISTER DICK Funny how the people you associate with can change the perception of you. When I first started in the OAOAST people cheered me as one-half of the Lone Star Gunslingers. Then when I sought more than just tag team glory people said I was a dick. No, I just wanted to be the best. That OAOAST World title on my résumé proves I was right. But I was wrong about the partnership with Big Papa Thrust. Dead wrong. People said our egos would cause our partnership to implode, but it was the hot air from Big Papa Thrust’s mouth! He wanted to do things the easy with. Me personally? The harder the better! Isn’t that right Ooh? OOHLALA MISTER DICK Which explains why I prefer to go pantless. Makes it easier, you know. TERRY MISTER DICK But this wrong thing has gotten blown out of proportion. Our partnership allowed for fun after hours with the ladies. One, two, three… all four? Whatever the parties involved desired. Eventually it got to the point Big Papa Thrust didn’t have much desire for his original Freakazoid. So I was there to lend an ear… and more if the need arise and arise it did! OOHLALA Not one, not two, not three, not four, not five… MISTER DICK What can I say? I’ve got talent -- in and out of the ring. So check the mirror for the person responsible for your mess, big man. But if you still wanna blame me I’m not a hard man to find. See you in the Lerhal Rumble. Maybe. ’Cause I’m not the pussy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Tony Brannigan stands atop the entrance stage, wearing an Anglemania basketball jersey. BRANNIGAN Ladies and gentlmen, please welcome MORGAN NERDLY! “Creepy Girls” hits and the fans go ballistic with glee at the arrival of the sharp dressed Morgan Nerdly. BRANNIGAN Morgan, you look great. MORGAN Naturally. BRANNIGAN This Sunday is Anglepalooza where you'll compete in the Lethal Bang! I can't wait. MORGAN Are you going to be one of the guys? BRANNIGAN No. MORGAN Too bad I like older men. BRANNIGAN Its getting hot out here! Let me compose myself. Morgan politley waits for Branningan to compose himself. But in the mean time fails to notice PIERETTE SAINT NERDREGARD creeping up behind her! COLE Morgan, look out! One shove is all it takes. One shove and Morgan is sent flying off the interview stage! Its a long fall to the bottom, and when Morgan goes through the table the thud and impact is tremendous! “OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!” BRANNIGAN Pierette! What in god's name are you doing?! PIERETTE I'm take-take-takalaking out the competition and my most hated family member I've ever had! The Lethal Bang is mine to win biggie smalls and Morgan is mine to torment and harass and annoy and hopefully paralyze! Hheheehaa! Now hit my music, dag nam it! “Borderline” hits and Pierette makes a grand celebration. The fans are less celebratory of course and deluge the arena with jeers and heel heat for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2015 Simon is posted up on the windmill of the farm, which is well away from the main building. But not far away enough to stop him from seeing two thugs patrolling the left side of house. A mere click of the trigger later and the first sags to the ground from a bullet to the head. SIMON One down. The next bullet lodges itself in between the eyes of the second thug, killing him immediatley. SIMON And none to go. We cut to Molly in a non descript van. MOLLY The two guards are down on the left entrance. Molly sees Simon expertly dispatch of the three guards on the right side. MOLLY The right is clear. I repeat the right is clear. Teddy, you have the shed. We cut to Teddy creeping through the shadows nearest the shed. BUCKWORTH Indeed I do. Slowly and with caution, Teddy creeps behind a burly guard. With more speed and with greater danger, Teddy slides a sharp knife beneath the man's thick throat. BUCKWORTH Answer quietly, and answer honestly. How many men are in that barn? MAN 1 And why the fuck would I tell you? BUCKWORTH Though I have no wish to shed blood, I make no protest in doing so. MAN 1 There's ten. With incredible strength, the man flips Teddy to the hard ground. Such a great landing is endured by Ted that he loses his knife. MAN 1 But you'll never get to see them! A scramble for the knife fails for Buckworth as the man punts Teddy in the face! Our hero flies backwards, but hurries to his feet. This does him little good as the henchman rocks him with an uppercut that leaves him lying on the mat. MAN 1 I don't know what you want here, but you're gonna die. The man draws a pistol and lowers it at Buckworth. That's all he does as a bullet courtesy of Simon pierces his skull. BUCKWORTH I believe I owe you one, friend. MAN 2 (OS) Jimmy what the fuck is that noise? The door to the barn peters open and out comes three men, all holding guns. Simon shoots one in the head, but this draws immediate alarm from the others. MAN 2 We got intruders! Another bullet from Simon takes out a second man, but now more men start to come from the barn! That's when Teddy acts. The Milk Dudds are removes from his outift and launched towards the barn. Simon wasn't lying as when they hit the ground they explode into a large yellow gas. This gas is accompanied by a symphony of coughing and wheezing, and finally men dropping to the ground/ We cut back to Molly in the truck. MOLLY The barn is neutralized. But more danger lurks as when the door to the van opens we see Ivar! IVAR Greetings, Molly. MOLLY In the back of the farmhouse all things are quiet, with three guards on the porch enjoying a smoke. One guard's smoking head is left separated from his body thanks to a decapitation from Colin Maguire SR! MAN 3 Shit! The other guard shoots Maguire Senior, sending him tumbling off the porch, and killing him instantly. There he lies in the dirt, clad in his amazing armor. And there he rises. The men panic, But it does them no good. One is left staring at his severed forearm in his final moments, while the other is given a merciful sword through the heart. MAGUIRE I'm coming boy. In the front of the house, Cinnamon rides in on ChubChub her Pegasus! Its gallant and beautiful sight that is wholly disrupted by a truck being driven by FLYNN STEVENS ramming into them! Both rider and Pegasus are flung aside, each hitting the ground with a booming unnatural thud. CINNAMON ChubChub! ChubChub lets out a little sound letting his rider and owner know he survived. But will he survive for long? Trouble looms as Flynn and six men emerge from the tuck. FLYNN I'd worry more about yourself or Molly. CINNAMON Molly?! What did you do? FLYNN What's Ivar going to do you mean? Back near the truck, Ivar has mounted Molly with glistening fangs bared bright. MOLLY No! Please no! Please no! There's no hint of mercy from Ivar as he lowers his fangs into Molly's throat. MOLLY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! But before true pain can arrive for Molly, Annagret throws Ivar aside! IVAR The prodigal daughter arrives. Where might daddy be, leaving his daughter to face such terrible creatures of the night? Inside the farmhouse, Maguire SR cuts a dangerous path through his son's henchman. One has the temerity to pull a knife one Maguire SR and promptly loses that hand. Another draws a gun and winds up with a sword through the bowels. More and more wind up losing their head as the result of their bravery. MAGUIRE SR Boy! Show yourself! We cut to Cinnamon having to fend off Flynn and his henchman. The problem is all of them have guns. Even Flynn. FLYNN Now we need you alive, but we don't need you in good shape. VRRRRRRRRRM! Taking a page out of Flynn's book, Teddy screams in with truck! Flynn has the wherewithal to dive out the way, but the other men are steamrolled by the truck. Those who aren't are promptly set upon by Cinnamon and ChubChub are beaten raw and bloody! Teddy assists in the thrashing as Flynn wisely makes his escape! A man charges at Teddy and is promptly given a back dropy drop that sends him crashing into the windshield. Another comes weilding a knife, but Teddy disarms him and smashes his face through the passenger window. CINNAMON Flynn's getting away! BUCKWORTH Let him. He poses no threat on his own. We cut to the van area where Annagret and Ivar are doing battle! Even though Annagret has the flaming sword of Surt she can't seem to lay a hand on Ivar. IVAR There was a time, as Odin's daughter, I'd have worshipped you. That time is gone. Ivar surges forward and spears Annagret into a tree. She hits with such powerful impact that she drops the sword entirely. Now defenseless she's left at the mercy of the fang wielding Ivar. ANNAGRET Get off me! Just as Ivar is about to tear into her throat, he's dropped to the ground thanks to a well placed bullet to the brain. SIMON (emerging from the field) Timely heroism is the best heroism. ANNAGRET We need to get the hell outta here before he wakes up. We cut back to the farm house where Maguire SR drags along his blood soaked war hammer. Leaving behind a trail of brutalized and mutilated body, he enters the master bedroom. MAGUIRE SR Boy. Colin sits on the bed, directly behind Gedrun Spoons, who's bound by chains. COLIN Father, have you enlisted in King Landon's Kingsguard. MAGUIRE SR No jokes. It has been a long parade of fools. But now you die. COLIN Your armor will not protect you, I'm afraid. There is no salvation from the bite of a vampire. MAGUIRE SR I am above you, boy, I shall rip out your heart and keep it on my mantle. COLIN How, might I ask, do you expect to do that? MAGUIRE SR I am Valkyrie. GEDRUN You are what?! MAGUIRE SR Cinnamon Spoons has made me a Valkyrie! WHOOOOOOOOOOSH! that would be the sound of Colin using his vampire speed to beat a hasty and panicked retreat from his father. MAGUIRE SR Cowardly boy, we are not finished! I will find you! I will find you! FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts