Chanel #99 Posted January 18, 2015 Report Share Posted January 18, 2015 ***Anderson Cup: Celtic Gothic W/Anastasia Violetta Vs Cobra Strike W/Melody and n00b Nerdly*** The summary of this match is that Coulter is a fucking moron. He taunted his foes, two notorious hot heads and wound up getting his ass beat en route to a record thirty second Anderson Cup. Winner: Cobra Strike, via pinfall Sara Jean had the usual displeasure of interviewing Sugar Flair, Hotties Champion. Sugar dismissed December as having no chance to ever win her women's title. She told stories about she beat December up when “we was kids”, each story was more unbelievable than the last. Sara Jean had to call bullshit on the one with the Jeff Jarret run in. Despite her claim, Sugar started fretting over December winning the Lethal Bang. She said she'd give whoever made December climax 100 bucks! Sara Jean tried to tell her that wasn't any money, but Sugar said “Money don't grow on trees and neither does class and that's why you ain't got either!” And strutted off. Big Pimpin’” hit and Big Papa Thrust walked out to the ring with Men-U-Pause and a dog leash. COLE That psych-- I mean, Big Papa Thrust honestly doesn’t expect Oohlala to crawl on her knees back to him, can he? COACH Rihanna didn’t keep away from Chris Brown, did she? And he smacked her around! Big Papa Thrust hits it a different kind of way. COLE Yeah, we get it. But asking her to be strapped to a leash? Give me a break! COACH BPT is the dom, baby boy. It’s his duty to put Oohlala back in place. Shit’s in the Bible, son. BPT ordered Oohlala to the ring. One she appeared BPT cut to the chase. BIG PAPA THRUST Well don’t just stand there. Assume the position! MALAYSIA BUSTY HOLLY … Oohlala shakes her head NO. “YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MALAYSIA, BUSTY & HOLLY BIG PAPA THRUST I don’t think you understand, you UNGRATFUL WHORE! This is your last chance to link hands with the Man of Tomorrow Today. OOHLALA Good-bye! “YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BIG PAPA THRUST COLE You go girl! BIG PAPA THRUST Ladies, you have my permission to do what you wanted to do for so long that I told you not do until right now. Teach that bitch a lesson! COACH Men-U-Pause circle Oohlala like vultures. COLE Come on! This isn’t right! Just as MUP prepare to strike PURPLE WIG GIRL storms the ring wielding NUNCHUCKS! COACH The hell?! Looking lighter in the rear and skinnier in the legs, PWG clubs Busty across the back, sweeps Holly’s legs out from under, strikes Malaysia in the gut and across the face so hard it sends a piece of nunchuck flying into the crowd! COLE Those aren’t just ordinary nun chucks, they’re sasuage links nun chucks! COACH Aah! That isn’t the kind of sausage Malaysia is used to taking in the face. The fun and games come to an end for PWG when BPT grabs hold on her. COLE Oh no! Lifted overhead PWG is about to be turned into a pancake when MISTER DICK delivers a STIFF KICK to BPT! “YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MD unloads on BPT until he manages to slip away. OAOAST officials arrive on the scene to keep the two separate. The Real American Prick then shows he isn’t a total dick by assisting Oohlala to her feet. He also notices something different about PWG who motions for him to keep it ssh and smiles, exiting through the crowd as “Motherfucker of the Year” hits to a big pop. COLE Come get you some now, Big Papa Thrust! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 18, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2015 Holly cut a promo on the Lethal Bang. Well it was more a trashing of the OAOAST Wrestlers. She claimed their average dick length only equaled five inches, stated they knew how to fuck each other better than a woman and predicted over half of them wouldn't be able to get it up. She finished by saying she'd win the Lethal Bang just because of impotence of the OAOAST Roster. We then cut backstage to Tony Tourettes who was begging Sophie to get out the Lethal Rumble so he could be one of the guys in the Lethal Bang. Sophie said she couldn't do it because as 24/7 champion he had to be in the Rumble. Tony called bullshit and then tried to get Vinny kicked out the Bang! Sophie found Tony's treatment of his own son disgraceful and whisked herself away. King Landon was still on his sickbed after Krista poisoned him. He was surrounded by Queen Esther and The Kingsguard, but he singled out Esther for allowing this to happen. According to Landon, Esther has been friendly to Krista before and the lack of support from a strong queen caused what we see today. Esther bowed her head and shame and apologized but that wasn't enough for our King who continued to yell at him. Ser Timothy tried to calm him but he got yelled at in turn. King Landon did finish on a somewhat good note remarking he was thankful for Ser Felix and Ser Pike and was thankful he could give title shots to Tyler and Shayne of his Good Guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 18, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2015 TO THE BACK~!, where Purple Wig Girl merrily skips along whistling and twirling what‘s left of her sausage link nun chucks. BOBBI (O.S.) Maya! Purple Wig Girl pauses momentarily, shrugs and continues to skip off whistling. BOBBI (O.S.) No, no, no, no. Don’t you do this to me! The niece of A$SAP Blondie and the real Purple Wig Girl, BOBBI CHEESECAKE, catches up to the imposter PWG, ripping off the fake hair and mask to reveal… …MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD! MAYA Oh hey, buuuuddy! Couldn’t hear you with this catchy tune I was whistling. How’d you know it was me anyway? BOBBI You sent me a text… MAYA BOBBI … meant for someone else. Bobbi sticks her phone in Maya’s face. MAYA No wonder Jade never replied. BOBBI Jade knew? MAYA Are you kidding? The whole sausage link nun chucks thing was her idea! Always food with that girl. *clicks tongue* But after she found out about the strat-ank and how it was something that wasn’t gonna be done at her expense, she wanted in. JADE (O.S.) (over phone) Got to be part of the cool clique for once. Wahoo! Maya pulls out her phone and hangs up. BOBBI Strat-ank? MAYA Half strategy/half prank. Strat-ank. FYI: You might wanna create a special belt pouch just for your phone. These pants are so tight they accidentally make calls out on their own! BOBBI Are you serious? MAYA Aren’t we all just a little? Heh. BOBBI (sighs) Malaysia already wanted to kick Purple Wig Girl’s butt. Now, thanks to you, she’s gonna want to kill me, but you wanna talk about some stupid pouch? MAYA Just a tip, really. Bobbi slides against the wall down to the ground and buries her head between her legs. MAYA No, no, no, no. Now you don’t do this to me. You don’t see Batman mopping around, do you? I mean sure he still cries over mommy and daddy even though it’s been like 20 years. Never forget and all that, but come on, at some point you gotta move on with life. You know what I mean? BOBBI So you’re saying I should leave the OAOAST behind and pursue my dream of being a beautician? I never wanted this life anyway. Right now I should be in school, a real school doing what real kids do. Sleepovers, pillow fights, obsessing over One Direction. *dreamy sigh* MAYA You call that fun? More like hell if you ask me. BOBBI Well thanks to your little stunt I’m going to experience hell. MAYA No, you’re gonna have fun! And the fun’s already started. BOBBI You call a feud with Malaysia fun? Actually it’s not even a feud because I have no issue with her. It was a totally one-sided thing. MAYA Until tonight. Malaysia had been calling Purple Wig Girl out for a couple weeks and tonight PWG struck back! BOBBI No, she didn’t! You did! MAYA Okay, okay. I did. But you did too -- through me. BOBBI MAYA Because all your life you’ve been treated like this delicate little flower. Pretty to look at, wanna touch, etc. but deep down is an adventurous girl aching to come out and play. Look like a sunflower and sting like poison ivy. BOBBI Yeah. Yeah! Do what I wanna do! MAYA BOBBI But not fight Malaysia. I don’t want to die! *buries head in hands* MAYA Oy. Despite working here, Pierette bought commercial time to make a PSA detailing the dangers of smoking, also the dangers of being Morgan Nerdly, also the dangers of making her cum at the Lethal Rumble. The first only causes cancer. The last two get you stabbed by Lucy and Chuck, her scissors! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted January 18, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2015 In voice recorded message to the OAOAST, Colin announced that Cinnamon and Annagret's mom Gerdrun Spoons is alive and well. But she wouldn't be for long if his father were to be turned into a Valkyrie. After that we saw Annagret decimate a production truck with her Sword Surt. And when I say decimate I mean a flaming sword tearing through a heavy duty truck! The OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~! to us back to when Logan snatched the U.S. title from ringside during last week's Oscar Friberg/Faqu match and ran into Blaine backstage. As we know Blaine, like Oscar a member of Team Scream, didn't bother to stop Logan. "Not your fight, right?" asked Oscar. Then we jumped ahead to this week's OAOAST SYN where Team Scream, joined by Tanner Neptune, had a little heart to heart with Blaine. His absence at the NYS was brought up in addition to the incident with Logan and behavior during their Anderson Cup match. Blaine mentioned spending the New Year with his sister and how he's not one to stick his nose in other peoples affairs in regard to the Logan/Oscar thing. He also didn't think his actions hurt the team's quest to win the tag titles saying they never should've entered the tournament in the first place. Why waste energy trying to win 4 matches just to get a shot at the titles rather than let all the other teams kill each other and then snip the eventual champs post-AM? Back LIVE, OAOAST Hall of Famer Terry Taylor caught up with Logan Mann who declared himself “the one and only” U.S. champ. TERRY According to who?! LOGAN The people. Because each and every one of them know I was robbed of the title. TERRY But you were pinned! LOGAN In a tag match. TERRY Which you agreed to! LOGAN To set up that foolish brute Alexander. Besides, I was never the legal man. Go back and watch the tape. You’ll see there was never any tag. I got chokeslammed inside. Why do you think the OAOAST didn’t fine me for my supposed “actions” last week? ‘Cause I was justified! The pin never should’ve counted, meaning there shouldn’t have been no title match at the NYS, making me the one and only United States Champion! TERRY I don’t think Oscar would agree. LOGAN Man, I’d smack that little wiener around. Go cry over your spilled milk, white bread. This is a man’s world and I’m the Mann around here! *** Anderson Cup, First Round: The Party Brigade w/ Amberlyn Duncan vs. The Christ Air Express *** In a battle of former OAOAST tag champions, it was the CAE who pulled out the W to advance to the semifinals and keep their hopes alive of being the first two-time winners in AC history. Finish saw Amberlyn grind on the apron to distract the CAE, but MEL moved as Piercy D attempted to sneak up, causing the Duncan siblings to collide! Fortunately for Amberlyn she fell into the arms of J.Riggs, something which turned out to be a costly move as it gave J.Riggs little time to save Piercy D from a double Ace Crusher, leading to a not-so Happy Ending for TPB.Winners: The CAE, via pinfall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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