Tony149 Posted January 2, 2015 Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 TV M L, V, N, SSCPRESENTED IN OAOASTHD & OAOAST3D* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA *Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight.THE OAOAST... WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! The show opens with a shot of New Year's eve revelers at various cities -- New York, Paris, Tokyo, Mexico, etc -- counting down from 10-1 (in their native language). Suddenly the crowds are mesmerized by images of OAOAST superstars in action that flash on the giant screens. Eventually we go to the center of Times Square where the giant New Years Eve ball drops! 2015 OAOAST NEW YEAR'S SPECTACULARBOOM!BOOM!BOOM! B O O M ~! COLE Happy New Year from everyone at the OAOAST! And the OAOAST is starting the New Year the only way it knows how -- with a bang! *** Anderson Cup, First Round: VICE w/ Joey The Rat vs. Mr. Dick & Big Papa Thrust w/ The Freakazoids & Holly *** A new year brings many things, one of them is a OAOAST tradition: the Anderson Cup. And the OAOAST kicked off 2015 with first round action in the Morrison bracket featuring two of the most despised teams in the promotion. But on this night… for this unique match-up… the OAOAST Galaxy placed their support behind Mr. Dick and Big Papa Thrust until “it” happened.* BZZZZZZT *OMG~! Footage of a New Year’s Eve party on the Vegas strip hijacks the AngleTron. Pan around the sea of mass before zooming in tight of a pair of big knockers! The camera zooms in and out until finally panning out to reveal MR. DICK and OOHLALA among the revelers. Cue countdown. “10!” “9!” So on and so forth. “3!” “2!” “1!” HAPPY NEW YEAR! Oohlala and MD watch others make out around them to ring in the new year. Then they look towards each other and shrug, as if to say why not. They kiss once and laugh. Only to kiss again. And again. Then make the fuck out!* BZZZZZZT *OMG~! BUSTY BIG PAPA THRUST Busty and Holly corner Oohlala. BUSTY Slut! HOLLY Whore! MD comes to Oohlala’s defense and tells the girls to back off. Meanwhile, BPT looks on… then clubs MD and rams him face-first into the ringpost! COACH DAYUM~! BPT rolls MD back in and spits on him. COLE DAMN HIM! BPT gives Oohlala a choice: leave with him and the girls or “stay with that piece of shit, fuck off and die!” OOHLALA BPT takes off with the gang and Oohlala makes her choice… to stay by MD’s side! COACH Unfortunately MD remains down from the post shot, allowing VICE to pickup the easy win. NO!! MD kicks out and the OAOAST Galaxy explodes! COLE Yeah! Dick got it up! His shoulder that is! MD then nearly did the impossible fighting off VICE for several minutes, but eventually he fell to a Gigaton Punch.Winners: VICE, via pinfall. After the bout Oohlala tended to MD... only for BPT to return and beat him with a lead pipe. Busty and Holly force Oohlala to watch the beating. BIG PAPA THRUST You choose him over me?! Look at 'im! He can't even fight! * TWHACK * * TWHACK * * TWHACK * "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" COLE COME ON, DAMNIT! OAOAST officials storm the ring to end the chaos. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted January 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 The OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK~! took us back to when the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club attacked Blaine of Team Scream, or more specifically Rico who gave the bad boy a Moustache Ride on the apron. Then it was off TO THE BACK~!, where OAOAST Hottie Sara Jean Underwood grabbed a word with the MGHFC. RICO (to SJU) Cállate, blondie. (to camera) Hey “bad boy,” you mad, mang? Good. ‘Cause you learned the hard way nobody makes a fool of the Moustache Guy! LUCIUS Or Sweetness. RICO Now you say you want a piece of us? Well be careful what you wish for ‘cause you’re gonna get it next week! LUCIUS Yeah, fool. We gonna take care of you and then everybody else in the Anderson Cup. *** U.S. Title Fatal 4 Way, Texas Tornado Rules: Blackhawk © vs. Eagle Eye co-© vs. Jo-Jo Whoa vs. Oscar Friberg *** Oscar won. New champ. Oh shit. You want more? Um, okay. They brawled around ringside, briefly into the crowd… but when Judge Dudd gave Blackhawk her gavel to use as a weapon Oscar duck and delivered a diving reverse DDT for the pin.Winner: Oscar Friberg, via pinfall. The rest of Team Scream minus Blaine but with Tanner Neptune celebrated with the new champ. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted January 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 “Play Hard” by David Guetta hits to a rousing reaction from the fans. The object of their effection is Dasha Yuschenko who arrives onto the scene full of bubbly joy and love! BUFFER The following match is a GET NAKED MATCH for the OAOAST Women's Championship where the winner is the first Hottie to strip of all her clothes! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Oh yeah! BUFFER Now making her way to the ring from Liev, Ukraine she represents SUNRISE....DASHAAAAAA YUUUSCCCHHHENKKOOO! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE The rivalry between Dasha and Sugar Flair heats up in a huge way! COACH Huge and hot is right! But shame on December for not backing up Sugar tonight. Not that I'd complain about seeing her naked. But December owes Sugar. Inside the ring, Dasha waves to the fans, feeding off their energy and getting pumped up for the big match. Stand on the bar, stomp your feet, start clapping Got a real good feeling something bad about to happen The fans let their rage be known as “Something Bad” smashes through the air. Attired in a guady and tacky green and red robe is Sugar Flair, who twirls and twirls her way to the ring. BUFFER And the champion, from Lexington Kentucky, she represents PRETTY YOUNG MONEY, she is “THE NATURE GIRL” SUGAR FLLLAIIIIRRR! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE No love for Sugar Flair here in Las Vegas and why would there be? COACH Sugar's gonna surprise a lot of people. COLE If she doesn't have the body of a fifteen year old, yes we'll be surprised. DING DING DING Right as the match begins Sugar starts removing her headband. COLE Why is she removing her hairband? COACH Its part of her clothes right. COLE Yes, but I think the stipulation means shirt and bottoms. Success! Sugar rids herself of the headband! SUGAR Victory! I can taste it and taste like made in China! DASHA You are stupid girl and you will grow up to be stupid old lady. Sugar doesn't like such a comment and snorts at Dasha, who just rolls her eyes. The eye rolling is even more annoying and Sugar comes off the ropes with a lariat aimed at Dasha's head. But cute Dasha counters such an attack with a drop toe hold. The second Sugar hits the mat, Dasha wraps her in a side headlock. COLE Good early wrestling by Dasha. COACH She did two moves! COLE Two more than Sugar. COACH Jerk. Sugar tries to force Dasha upright, but hasn't even the strength to push someone nearly her size. Thus Sugar just whines and cries in the middle of the ring. COLE Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer not fooled by Sugar's crocodile tears. Its Dasha who breaks the hold and switches over into a leg lock. SUGAR AHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOO! WHHHYYYYY GOOOODDD WHYYYYY?! COLE What in god's name? COACH Flairs are master sellers. COLE I see that. This time Sugar is able to achieve some success as her free leg kicks Dasha off. Gritting her teeth she runs at her foe but gets caught with an arm wringer. SUGAR NOOOOOO! I'M DYING! I'M DYING! DASHA You be keeping the quiet, stupid girl. SUGAR Make me, fart eyes! Actually Dasha does make her by drilling her to the mat with an arm wrench assisted bodyslam. This knocks the wind out of Sugar and Dasha is able to drop a big elbow on her foe. “HUG US DASHA! HUG US DASHA! HUG US DASHA!” COLE I'm guessing the OAOAST Galaxy wants to do more than hug her in truth. Dasha pulls off her left earring and begins jumping up and down as if she won the match. DASHA Hey, hey, peoples I take off earring I almost to the close of winning match like Sugar Belle! “SUGAR BELLE! SUGAR BELLE! SUGAR BELLE!” the fans taunt Sugar. COACH That's not her name! SUGAR That's it! I'm fighting mad! Sugar flails her hands at Dasha like a rabid kindergartner. These blows are of course easily sidestepped and Sugar falls into the corner. There's no rest for the weary champion as the Sunray hurls her to the center of the ring with a hip toss! “SUGAR BELLE! SUGAR BELLE! SUGAR BELLE!” COACH Don't these people get it! She's a Flair! Sugar is pouting which is pretty normal and turns an angry face on the audience. Sadly this turns her face away from Dasha who takes hold of her leg and smashes it against the canvas with a leg DDT! SUGAR Ow! What's the big idea, huh? You trying to kill me? DASHA A nice person is me, so I not kill you ever, but I make you wish you were the walking dead. Yes. SUGAR I hate you! Sugar can't do much about hating Dasha as the challenger flings her into the ropes. The cables spit Sugar back too fast and Dasha upends her with a biiiiiiiiig back body drop. And poor Sugar lands right on her butt! COLE Her booboo has a booboo I think. COACH Stop that! DASHA Dasha get clothes off in Vegas! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Sugar has no intention of letting that happen and tackles Dasha to the mat! The two roll around in classic cat fight style with Sugar finding herself rolled onto the apron. Both ladies hurry to their feet, and Sugar strikes Dasha with a shoulder block to the stomach. Dasha is doubled up and that allows Sugar to nail her across the the head with a running diving forearm! COLE Big shot by Sugar! Right on the money with that forearm. SUGAR My cousin Ric styles and profiles in the finest clothes money can buy, but I style and profile in the finest body god can create! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans sing, because hey, Sugar is still hot. We won't be seeing Sugar with no clothes on yet, as Dasha grabs her by her dark hair and drags her back into the squared circle. Panicked Sugar finds her strength and slugs Dasha in the stomach with a wave of elbows. Her foe now hobbled, Sugar unloads on her with a superkick effort. But Dasha dodges the attack and goes swiftly behind the champion. In a matter of moments Dasha is drilling Suge with a stratusfaction! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” DASHA Do Svidanya! COLE Hey, its my job to call the moves here. DASHA Top be coming off get being ready! View on Gfycat “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” DASHA Look at these babies, babies! COACH I'm looking and I'm loving! Dasha has an inclination to get her pants off and the fans have the inclination to see it. But Sugar roars back to life and clobbers her with a lariat to the back of the head! SUGAR Get your top back on stinky shorts! No one wants to see your saggy breasts! That's not actually true, but Sugar really does try to put Dasha's top back on! COACH Does that, uh, actually matter if Dasha gets her top put back on? COLE It will anger the fans but it won't matter to the outcome of this match. Fully annoyed by her foe, Dasha flips Sugar backwards and the women's champion hits the corner. Dasha runs in, but Sugar smacks her across the boobs and wards her off. The blow lands so hard that the challenger falls to the floor. This gives Sugar license to climb to the second rope. With the fans jeering her, Sugar leaps off and delivers a double knee drop to Dasha! COLE One of Sugar's big moves. A big move from a little girl, but still big. Just to be annoying, Sugar makes monkey faces at Dasha! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” SUGAR Suck an egg, Vegas! “YOU HAVE COOTIES! YOU HAVE COOTIES! YOU HAVE COOTIES!” SUGAR SUCK A BILLION AND INFINITY EGGS! Dasha surprises Sugar by small packaging her so that she throws the little champion into the corner posts! Sugar lands hard and whimpers as she sags to the mat. The pain isn't over for Sugar yet as Dasha slams into her boobies and all with a diving splash! COLE Oooomph! Like Krista's boobie bombs! Dasha uses her boots to shove Sugar out of the ring, leaving her free to finish up this match! DASHA Its gonna get hot-hot-hot in Vegas desert because I'm getting off these pants! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The pants start to come down and we see the hints of Dasha's cute booty. But lo and behold Sugar comes to life and reaches into the ring to trip Dasha up! SPLAT, Dasha crashes face and boobs first to the ground! SUGAR Hhaahahaa! Tough cookies, stinky shorts! And those pants are so 2014! COLE Which was like yesterday. COACH Sugar is cutting edge on all things. COLE I saw her pants on sale for 10.99 at Wal-Mart. Dasha staggers upright, unaware of tiny Sugar looming behind her. She only notices the champion behind her when Sugar strikes with a jumping stunner! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Starburst! SUGAR Time for sugar and spice and boobies that are nice! Sugar peels of her purple top and we get... “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the Vegas crowd hoots and hollers. SUGAR That weren't loud enough! You cheered louder for Dusty Dasha! Hhehe, Dusty Dasha! Get it? It works in a couple ways. Hheheeh! Anyway I'm hotter so cheer louder! “DASHA'S HOTTER! DASHA'S HOTTER! DASHA'S HOTTER!” SUGAR Ya'll can go fall on some fiddle sticks! Sugar picks Dasha off the mat and hauls her off into the ropes. A lariat is ducked by Dasha, but on the secound rebound she's flipped over by a back body drop from Miss Flair. Crashing into the mat hard, Dasha lies down and pain. This puts a smile on Sugar's face and she does a Flair strut that's sexier than usual! “SUGAR BELLE! SUGAR BELLE! SUGAR BELLE!” COLE The Vegas portion of the OAOAST Galaxy is relentless in taunting Sugar. COACH They should be ashamed of themselves to taunt a champion like this. A wide smile appears on Sugar's face and she takes hold of Dasha's legs! With them in hand, she performs a classic Flair dance. COLE Looking for Figure Four! There's a strong struggle from Dasha to break out of this hold and indeed she does using her boots to push Sugar through the ropes and onto the apron! Displeased by this, Sugar picks herself up with a few choice words for her challenger. Those words are put on mute thanks to a running dropkick from the Ukranian that blasts her off the apron! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Sugar, Sugar, are you okay? SUGAR Do I look okay?! This blows chunks, I'm outta here! That's not bluff. Oh no, Sugar gathers up her woman's title from the timekeeper and makes for the exit! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” SUGAR Ya'll think she's hotter than me then look at her, 'cause I'm blowing this popsicle stand! “CHICKEN! CHICKEN! CHICKEN!” the fans chant, led on by Dasha. SUGAR I ain't chicken, I'm human! Yelling, Sugar backs up the ring ramp until she bumps into...DECEMBER! SUGAR DECEMBER I was taking a good nap when Yuki woke me up and told me what you're doing. You may have ruined my nap, Suge, but you're not gonna ruin this show. SUGAR Get out my way! December stands tall and firm in front of Sugar, an act that turns Sugar's face bright red. COACH This is terrible! What a traitor! Suddenly Sugar feels a hard grip on her hair from none other than Dasha! DASHA Back into the ring you go! Dasha tosses Sugar into the ring, and the fans are delighted with that! December is pleased with what she sees and walks off. COLE Looks like we've still got a title match! Dasha elevates herself to the top turnbuckle as Sugar struggles to get her bearings. SUGAR Love Everybody! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! After making a shape of a heart with her fingers, Dasha departs the top turnbuckle and hits a top rope, topless crossbody on Sugar! “DASHA'S A HOTTIE! DASHA'S A HOTTIE! DASHA'S A HOTTIE!” COLE Well all women in the OAOAST are Hotties, but the fans are saying Dasha is a hottie as in she's hot. COACH What kind of retards do you think we have watching that you needed to explain that?! COLE Southerners. COACH Point taken. Dasha hits the ropes, timing her return to float over Sugar with a DDT effort. Yet, Sugar manages to shrug her foe aside and Dasha collides with the elderly referee! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!” COLE Ouch! Seeing an opening, Sugar flings another superkick at Dasha! However, Dasha amazingly leaps onto the second rope and comes back to crush the champion with a springboard fameasser! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! COLE Dasha Smasher! Dasha Smasher! “TAKE IT OFF DASHA! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF DASHA! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF DASHA! TAKE IT OFF!” DASHA Roger you dodger! Take it off and play with me hard! Shrrrrreed! “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” the fans praise Dasha. COACH Holy fucking shit I say! COLE But the referee is out. DASHA Wake up, mister official man. Wake up! BUZZLEFOXER Zzzzzzzzzzzz! DASHA Get up! Get you to the up! Dasha gets a surprise when she's spun and dropped to her knees by a punch from Sugar! SUGAR You lose, Stinky Shorts! From there, Sugar leaps up and hammers Dasha with a kneeling hurricanrana! “OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Sugar Snap! A sneaky smile is formed on Sugar's face as she forces Dasha back into her pants! COLE Wait a minute! No! She's gonna steal this one! SUGAR WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! NAKED SUGAR! Off the clothes come and Sugar is naked.... Righ as Buzzlefoxer comes to life! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner and still OAOAST Women's Champion....SUGAR FLLLAIIR! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Sugar steals one! Sugar hauls ass up the ring ramp, where there's no chance anyone can actually catch her. She's bouncy, bouncy as she jumps around with all her jiggling boobies and booty! COACH What a sight. COLE What a cheat! She's worse than prime Ric. She's the Dirtiest Hottie in the Game! AFTER THE NEW YEAR'S S[ECTACULAR THE AFTERPARTY~! Hosted by Sara Jean, featuring The Party Brigade, Seth Green and... Tha Puerto Rican!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted January 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 The New Year joy hasn't found D*LUX who stand unhappily with Tony Brannigan backstage. BRANNIGAN Guys, for the first time in your career you have been left out the Anderson Cup tournament. Quite frankly the entire OAOAST Galaxy is shocked. But, I want to know how you feel about sitting on the sidelines. TYLER How do you think I feel about getting excluded from the Anderson Cup? Have you ever seen a former AC winner that's still active get left out? Do you think they'd leave Black T out? BRANNIGAN Well... TYLER No, they wouldn't. They'd be stupid to. And they're stupid to leave D*LUX out. Big Boy and Sonic JR? The Hellfire Club? All The Sheep's Men?! Those guys are jobbers! Some of lack talent, some of them lack chairsma, some lack experience, but compared to us they all suck ass! Bottom line. We'd eat them for lunch and afternoon snack. How long have we been the most popular team the OAOAST has? Too long to be taken advantage of like this. This is textbook backstage bullshit. Someone better make things right or else you're going to see Bryant Tyler new WWE superstar. I swear to god... Tyler walks off with both Shayne and Brannigan left in utter shock at his harsh words and his threat to quit. ***Bohemoth Vs Brock Ausstin W/Rick Heyross*** Before the match Bohemoth took the mic to addresses someone special. BOHEMOTH Rick Heyross, got a proposition for ya. COACH Finally my Bo/Heyross sex dream will come true. BOHEMOTH Its a new year Rick, and time for a new start. If you're tired of managing a bunch of 30 year olds that think they're in a Pop Warner league why don't you come where you belong and manage THE MAN! HEYROSS Brock didn't appreciate that comment and jumped Bohemoth! COLE Here we go! The two giants of the industry brawled, a pair of mastadon's going to war with one another in a wrestling ring too small to hold them. In the end Brock got the upperhand and lariated Bohemoth over the ropes and to the outside! The Man tried to climb back in but Brock blasted him with a lariat! This happened two more times before Bohemoth learnt his lesson and yanked Brock out of the ring. Seething with rage, Bohemoth speared Brock into the ring steps! BOHEMOTH WHO'S THE MAN? “TONY TOURETTES! TONY TOURETTES! TONY TOURETTES” BOHEMOTH Back inside the ring, Bohemoth took control of the match, pounding on Brock with forearms and punches. Yet when he tried a powerbomb Brock muscled him into a back drop. The tide turned in Brock's favor and The War Machine used an array of violent MMA style moves. The most devestating came when Brock nearly got a submission off a kimura! BROCK You're the man but I'm THE WAR MACHINE! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” We saw XFL and the rest of the gang watching backstage as Brock continued to work towards another kimura. Just when he though he had it, Bohemoth escaped and drilled him with a spine buster! This took a lot out of Bohemoth and both men laid spent on the mat. COLE These two monsters have ground each other down! The referee reached a count of seven before both men rose to their feet. The two men slugged it out with the crowd captivated by the heavyweight brawl. Brock almost got the win with a F-Stunner-5 attempt, but Bohemoth escaped and drilled him with a STIFF~! Lariat! COLE A near knockout blow! The XFL panics as Brock is pinned, but amazingly he's able to kickout from the signature strike. The two resumed their war with Brock managing to bust Bohemoth open with a deep cut above his eye. Brock thought Bohemoth properly blinded by the cut and attempts a hasty finisher. Again Bohemoth escaped, but this time he hit the swinging Rock Bottom known as the B-Trayal for a big victory! Winner: Bohemoth, via pinfall Backstage, The XFL sags in his seat in disgust and stewing anger. Moss meanwhile prays for his soul. COMING IN APRIL! ANGLEMANIA XIV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted January 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 BUFFER The following is a Tag Team Turmoil for the OAOAST WOMEN'S TAG TEAM TITLES! Flashing green strobe lights and “Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go!” let people know its time for Melody Nerdly and sister Molly! Taking it upon herself to film her sister, Molly gets a cameraful of beautiful bouncing breasts as the girls hurry to the ring! BUFFER Introducing first, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, “THE SHOWGIRL” MOLLY NERDLY, “THE GAME GENIE” MELODY NERDLY....NETFLIKTIOOOOONNN! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Melody and Molly fresh off filming what can only be described as a wild webcam show with the Duncan family. COACH All parties involved should get an en emeritus AVN award. I give that five cocks up! The busty and fun loving duo slip into the ring with smiles for the fans and hugs for each other. COLE So the question is who's team number two? I will keep quiet You won’t even know I’m here You won’t suspect a thing You won’t see me in the mirror But I crept into your heart You can’t make me disappear Til I make you I made myself at home In the cobwebs and the lies I’m learning all your tricks I can hurt you from inside I made myself a promise You would never see me cry Til I make youYou’ll never know what hit you Won’t see me closing in I’m gonna make you suffer This hell you put me in I’m underneath your skin The devil within You’ll never know what hit you “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Uh-oh! Pink lights fall upon the arena and yes indeed its True Blood Sisters, with Gloss merrily skirting out, sipping on a delectable blood bag,. Massaging her lovely tummy is Morgan Nerdly, who offers a knowing smile to the fans. BUFFER And team number two! “THE VOLTERRA VIXEN” GLOSS ANGIEACOLA, “THE MAPLE LEAF CUTIE” MORGAN NERDLY......”TRUUUUEEE BLOOOOOOOD SIIISTTTERSSSS” “YYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Former champions in their own right, caught in their efforts of seducing Madison, but also Morgan caught in a feud with Pierette. COACH Morgan has been kind of restrained so far. I figured she'd have at least killed five people by now. COLE Well, Morgan'sa slow starter during killing season. I bet by mid January she'll be among the league leaders in homicides. Morgan leans over the ropes and offers a not so innocent look to the camera, while right bellow her Gloss shows off the goods! COLE Well, The All XFL Network booked this match, which puts them at a disadvantage depending on where they enter. But they wanted to cheat Sabrina and Aisling that badly. Let's see who comes out with the titles! DING DING DING MORGAN I was a little offended you guys filmed the Duncans before me and Gloss. But if your camera didn't break from erotic overkiad... MELODY I'm the next Scrooge McDuck! MORGAN No clue what that means. But okay sure. Morgan and Melody lockup with Melody able to overpower Morgan into an empty corner. However, Melody is forced to give a clean break which she does. The two lockup again and this time Morgan gains a side headlock. She's shoved off to the ropes by big sister, and gets a blind tag from Gloss! COLE Gloss into the contest, two time women's champion, and nice girl. She got a new sheep or All The Sheep's Men. COACH Sophie's glad, because she had a bunch of shirts made before the old sheep got eaten, and she was pissed they'd be money lost. The Volterra Vixen sails from the top rope and hammers Melody with a diving lariat! That's enough to get a pinfall.... ONE! TWO! Melody with the kickout! GLOSS I contributed 70 coins to the webcam show! My money was gonna go to some homeless people, but what have they ever done for me? I saved a sheep from Krista's garage! Gloss cinches Melody into a front facelock and tries to lift her for a vertical suplex. Yet Melody makes an escape out the back and retreats to tag in Molly. MOLLY Oh good, make me fight the vampire. Molly takes a swing at Gloss, which isn't all that smart an idea as the busty vampire catches her arm and starts to turn her into a cross arm breaker! But Molly is near the ropes and manages to save herself from certain defeat by grabbing them. COACH Molly was lucky she was right there. GLOSS Well, I give up. MORGAN You give up? GLOSS I have a low attention span and am chronically under motivated for things not involving violent sex. That's quite true as Gloss gives the tag to Morgan! COLE Quick tags and I think that will be the order of day in this match. Entering the ring, Morgan squares off with her sister. Molly throws a spinning back kick that catches Morgan in the stomach. With Morgan doubled up, The Showgirl tries for a Final Cut Pro! But Morgan uses her supernatural powers to fight her out the hold. Not only does she do that, she twists Molly onto her shoulders in set up for her F-U finisher! COLE Here it comes! COACH A Shock & Awe! CRAAAAAAAACK! PIERETTE HITS MORGAN IN THE HEAD WITH A CHAIR! PIERETTE Oops I did it again! Britney! HEHEHEHEHE! COLE Damn it! Damn her! Morgan falls to the mat with Molly right on top of her and the referee has no choice but to count the pin.... ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER True Blood Sisters have been eliminated! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” GLOSS COLE Pierette...its unbelievable what she's doing! Unbelievable! COACH The past is the past. COLE Its ten seconds ago! She's tormenting her cousin. ”I AIN'T GOT NO MOTHERFUCKING FRIENDS!” Hit Em Up...hits and out comes Men-U-Pause as bad they wanna be. Malaysia wears a shirt that prominently says “SAY NO TO PURPLE WIG GIRL.” while Holly wears her usual rocker get up and hard snarl. COLE Men-U-Pause given the same shock as the rest of us earlier tonight thanks to OMG. COACH Mister Dick and Ohlala? As Christian would say its shameful, simply shameful! COLE That seems like right up your alley. COACH Big Papa is Mister Dick's brother, I ain't macking on those skinny Asian dudes you date rape. 'Cause we brothers. Men-U-Pause slides into the ring and is immediately pounced upon by Netfliktion. Molly and Melody whip their foes off into the ropes and when they come back they snap off a pair of dropkicks to knock them down. COLE Good job! Hit them hard and early. COACH Haven't Men-U-Pause suffered enough tonight? Annoyed with the way this is going on the outset, Men-U-Pause leave the ring to regroup. MELODY Oh, look, someone left a cadbury bunny in the ring. I'll pick it up. REFEREE Ooops, sorry, I was busy masturbating bur didn't mean to cum on your face! MELODY Its okay, broski, don't sweat it. Men-U-Pause returns to the ring to take on Molly and much sloppier Melody. Molly is shoved down to the ground and Melody is hooked in a double front facelock. When they lift her up, Melody counters with a double DDT! MELODY Your splooge must be kryptonite to them, refereee. Unleash the hounds! REFEREE Yes, ma'am! The referee unleashes the might of his officiating juices! HOLLY ] MELODY Now my elder sister! MALAYSIA I'll show that purple wig girl, what's what “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH I need to get an officiating license. Thinking her cum-soaked foes are done, Melody hits Holly with a reverse playmaker! “YYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE That Just Happened! Melody hooks Holly's legs for the pin! ONE! TWO! Holly breaks up the pin! Angered because she's always angry, Holly pitches Melody over the ropes, dumping her outside! COLE Shades of the Lethal Rumble next year! COACH I'm looking forward to the Lethal Bang! Think I can be in it? COLE As a competitor? I hope so! Molly rushes into the ring and takes hold of Holly from behind. With the audience rooting her own, Molly is able to nail her foe with the Final Cut Pro! COLE The Showgirl showing out in Vegas! Seeing that a legal woman has never been determined, Molly just pins Holly.... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Kickout! COLE The other teams that are left are loving the chaos of this match. Holly is whipped off into the ropes, but manages to avoid a back body drop by striking Molly in the chest with those lethal combat boots. HOLLY Your ass is done, (beep)! The Angel of Death tries for her x-factor signature but Molly somehow manages to powerout! HOLLY So stunned by her failure, Holly can't stop Molly from nailing her with a codebreaker to the arm! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Pop a Molly! COACH I'm sweating! Whoo! Another pin is attempted... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Malaysia breaks up the pin! MALAYSIA Let's show that Purple Wig Cunt what we can really do, huh! MOLLY Take your issues up with her! I am a voyeur! I strictly watch sex. MALAYSIA You're my bitch is what you are! Like a good bitch, Molly allows herself to be stripped of her clothes by Malaysia... Malaysia throws Molly to the ground, leaving her prone and weak on the mat. Just like Malaysia likes. It doesn't take long for Malaysia to figure out what she wants Molly to do; she sits on her face and forces the younger Nerdly to eat her soaking cunt... And it just so happens Molly is pinned... ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER Netfliktion has been ELIMINATED! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” MALAYSIA Your future is going to be more painful than that, Purple Wig Girl! I've never so adored you I'm twisting allegories now I want to complicate you Don't let me do this to myself I'm chasing roller coasters I've got to have you closer nowEndless romantic stories You never could control me Well I never really thought that you'd come tonight While the crown hangs heavy on either side Give me one last kiss while we're far too young to die (we're far too young to die). Far too young to die The fans erupt with glee as St.Archibald's School for Bad Girls rollerblades their way out! Trotting behind them is the Ultimate Lame Archie Stumplebottom! COLE By all rights this should be a regular tag title shot for Aisling and Sabrina, but they got screwed by The All XFL Network. COACH Man you a pessimist. Alysanne and Rhaenys gave a bunch of other teams a shot out of the goodness of their heart. The rollerblades come out and the teenage Hotties are ready to rock! COLE Here they go! Malaysia takes a swing with a double dong(?!), but fails to connect with either girl. Instead she wallops Holly in the back of the head! CROWD Sabrina snaps off a dropkick and Malaysia falls into Aisling's arms with Aisling dumping her with a back suplex into a pin! ONE! TWO! Kickout! Wanting things to be orderly this time, the referee orders Holly and Sabrina to the corner. COLE Looks like we're going to have a normal tag match this time. COACH As normal as a Hotties match can be! Aisling goes for an Irish whip on Malaysia but gets reversed. When she bounces back, Aisling is swung around and drilled with a tilt a whirl sidewalk slam. Moving methodically, Malaysia starts to hook Aisling into an armbar. AISLING (in child voice) I need my arm to punch Archie when he won't let me watch porn! Because of that, Aisling hurriedly scatters to the corner. However, Malaysia won't make a clean break. This forces the official to count to five.... ONE! TWO! THREE! No need for five as Aisling powers Malaysia off her. That actually offends Malaysia and she charges at Aisling. The Granddaughter of Darkness is ready for her and slams a fist into the face to ward her off. Next, Aisling runs at Malaysia and steps up on her to utilize a fame-asser! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Mommy Issues! And here's the cover... ONE! TWO! Holly breaks up the pin! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Men-U-Pause holding on, looking to be three time Women's Tag Team Champions. AISLING (in queen voice) Purple Wig Lass, observe the comely bheavoir of my tongue That doesn't make Malaysia very happy but before she can do anything about it the tag has been made to Sabrina! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Sabrina runs forward and smashes her knee into Malaysia's gut! SABRINA Hahha! I hope that gave you a tummy ache and I hope you throw up! There's more malice in Sabrina's mind as she tries to lift Malaysia up for a gut buster. This move doesn't come to fruition as Malaysia elbows her way free of the hold. Now its Sabrina in trouble as Malaysia's strikes her with the gustbuster! COLE Devastating attack by Malaysia Nerdly, who is so much bigger than Sabrina. Archie looks worried on the outside as Malaysia tags in Holly. HOLLY Got something to say Stumplebottom? ARCHIE No, ma'am. HOLLY What if I forced you to suck your own (beep)? ARCHIE I do not have the flexibility for that. HOLLY That's all you got to say? I don't have the flexibility? (beep) weirdo. Holly pushes Sabrina into an empty corner and nails her with a series of elbows to the jaw. After those blows land, the redhead starlet upends Sabrina to the center of the ring with a hiptoss. Then, Holly runs forward and smashes a combat boot directly into Sabrina's back! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!” Holly hooks the legs for a cover... ONE! TWO! Sabrina with the kickout! “LET'S GO SABRINA! LET'S GO SABRINA! LET'S GO SABRINA!” the Vegas crowd sings. Holly hurls Sabrina into the ropes, but is forced to duck her lariat on the younger girl's return. Teenage Sabrina comes firing back with a second lariat and this time Holly counters with a boot to the stomach. Now Sabrina is doubled up and The Angel of Death swings her upside down and smashes her into the mat with a tombstone piledriver! COLE Piss on your Grave! COACH That's got to do it. Sabrina is done. Holly smirks and pins her foe.... ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! SABRINA WITH THE KICKOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” HOLLY (beep)! (beep)! (beep)! Holly reaches back and makes the tag with Malaysia! COLE Malaysia and Holly really exercising their frustrations tonight. COACH And they have a lot of them. If I was Ohlala I'd go into hiding. And if I was Bobbi I'd find a different coloured wig. Holly hurls Sabrina towards Malaysia, who drills her with a yakuza kick to the chest! As soon as Sabrina hits the mat, Malaysia pins her... ONE! TWO! Again a kickout! MALAYSIA This is for you Bobbi Cheesecake and your purple wig! Brought upright, Sabrina is set up for the devastating Canadian Backbreaker Piledriver Malaysia uses as her finisher. COLE This could be all! Look out Sabrina! But, wait! Sabrina uses a low blow on Malaysia! MALAYSIA Ah! What the fuck?! So stunned is Malaysia that she doesn't think to stop Sabrina from tagging in Aisling! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE And here comes the wildchild Aisling DeLacey! Aisling runs into the ring....and gets powerslammed by Malaysia! COACH There goes Aisling! Ha! The official scores the fall.... ONE! TWO! Aisling with the kickout! Malaysia hooks Aisling into a double arm set up, yet can do nothing with that move as Aisling escapes the move entirely. Working fast, Aisling slams Malaysia into the turnbuckle posts with an exploder suplex! COACH Dayum~! AISLING (in rocker voice) Look at that buffed out ass! I could rock on that all fucking night! No drumming on Malaysia's ass will occur thanks to Holly taking hold of Aisling. The Angel of Death seeks out a Percussion DDT and has Aisling set up for it. But the day is saved by Sabrina who smacks Holly in the face with a missile dropkick! SABRINA I hope your nose is broke and your husband cheats on you with your father, ginger cunt! CROWD SABRINA I'm sorry, I'll be nice “AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!” Malaysia doesn't believe this and goes after Sabrina. But, Sabrina strikes first and strikes hard with a jumping scissors motion sidekick! “YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe! Can little Sabrina pin Malaysia?! Sabrina hooks the leg and the referee counts the crucial cover..... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! BUFFER Men-U-Pause have been ELIMINATED! COLE Amazing! Sabrina Oakheart pinning Malaysia Nerdly! COACH Yo, there's big things in this girl's future. COLE Maybe the tag team titles. I got everything, and I don't know what to do I can run on the show, cut the inventory too Howling at the moon, howling at the moon I can throw your 45s all day to into the sun And say goodbye At the shooting stars, at the crashing cars At the future past, was made to last I didn't know, I didn't know I didn't know, I didn't know At night I cry and howl at the moon At night I cry and howl at the moon COACH Might have to hold off on the tag titles with these two coming. Huge cheers create the babeilcious yet intimidating tag team of Fairly Odd Vamps! The vampire and the hybrid exchange air kisses before making their way to the ring. COLE Lyric about to face her daughter Aisling. COACH Of course she'll run away like she usually does. COLE Lyric stood tall against Pretty Young Money at November Reign. Lyric steps into the ring and takes note of Aisling. AISLING (in child voice) Puuh-hhuuu, mother, I'm gonna tear your dark heart and show you truest despair! LYRIC Just the sort of family get together to make creators of 7th Heaven swoon. \ Jumping sicssors motion sidekick by Sabrina to Lyric! COLE Bitch's Don't Kill My Vibe on Lyric! Sabrina cackles and hooks her foe's legs... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! No! A kickout! LYRIC I thought I was done with teenager's randomly kicking me after Gloss dumped me. Sabrina starts pounding on Lyric, but Lyric is still able to get to her feet. Not only that, Miss DeLacey press slams Sabrina overhead and tosses her face first into the top turnbuckle. Pained, Sabrina stumbles back and Lyric wheels her to the mat with a spinning head scissors. This leads to a pin.... ONE! TWO! Kickout before the three! COLE Only one team left to enter now. COACH The champs! Sabrina is picked up and sent off into the corner. Much to Lyric's shock, she runs forward and smacks her with an enziguri! LYRIC I have a new idea for a catchphrase “If one more teenager kicks me in the head, I'm going to kill someone.” TITANIA It sounds like you have a problem with teenagers kicking you in the head. LYRIC That and download speed in my condo. In an even bitter mood than usual Lyric lifts Sabrina onto her shoulders into an inverted fireman's carry. The second she flips her out, though, Sabrina lands on her feet. This is no problem for a vampire and Lyric brings her down with a bulldog! The cover.... ONE! TWO! Kickout! LYRIC Damn it. TITANIA You've been in a bad mood since... LYRIC You met me? TITANIA I was going to say the plane ride. My new years resolution is to downplay your shortcomings or just outright lie and pretend they don't exist. Lyric has a little laugh about her partner's resolution as she tags her into the match. COLE Vampires and fairy-wolf hybrids getting along. There's hope for race relations in the US! Titania is swatted back by Sabrina with a pair of knife edge chops. This gives Sabrina some confidence and she handsprings off the ropes. When she reaches Titania, she tries for a tornado DDT. However, The Hybrid Hottie shurgs her aside to avoid the signature attack. Now on the attack, Titania strikes with a jumping flatliner! “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Fairy Dust! Titania hooks the legs for a pin.... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! The kickout! “YYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Sabrina hanging tough! Titania situates herself on the second turnbuckle and readies to fly, but first... TITANIA Gotta turn my swag on! Titania flies with a second rope hurricanrana...only for Sabrina to move out the way and the fairy-wolf to crash into the canvas! LYRIC Ah swag, thou art a heartless bitch. A painful but speedy crawl to her corner from Sabrina gets a well needed tag to Aisling! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” LYRIC And now I'm not laughing. Aisling clambers to the top turnbuckle rather than enter the ring right away. Titania is up though and comes after her. But Aisling's demonic power is still faster than her Hybrid skills and she nails her foe with a moonsault lariat! COLE What a maneuver! The pincover.... ONE! TWO! Titania with the kickout! TITANIA A little help here, Lyric? LYRIC Do I have to? TITANIA Yes! Lyric enters the ring, but gets her legs held onto by Sabrina, like a child. Which is fitting given her personality. Still this annoys Lyric and she picks Sabrina up by the hair. Off Sabrina goes, tossed over the ropes and dumped onto the apron! COLE That's one way to get rid of your opponent. With a two on one advantage, Titania looks for a flapjack on Aisling. That doesn't quite go down as Aisling elbows that move to an end. She then dropkicks Titania, sending her careening forward and smashing into Lyric, which in turn flings Lyric all the way out of the ring! COACH And there's another way to get rid of your opponent. Seizing the moment as Jeff Hardy would suggest, Aisling leaps onto Titania's shoulders and hauls her down for a victory roll! The official gets into position for the count... ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER Fairly Odd Vamps have been ELIMINATED! COLE And just like that, Archie's Bad Girls make it to their hated rivals! :Cue:: NBA on NBC theme Rick Heyross leads out the champs, who showcase their usual style, class and grace. None of that gets them a positive reaction from the fans, but Alysanne keeps her smile and Rhaenys keeps her typical snobby attitude. COLE There they are ladies and gentlemen The All XFL Network. COACH Led by the Champagne Papi! Rhaenys enters the ring and pushes her sister in along with her.... Then pulls herself and Alysanne out! EVERYONE Rhaenys drags Alysanne away in a haste with Rick Heyross trotting behind. Not lost in all this is the referee has started a count! ONE! TWO! SABRINA Hey, they're getting away with our titles! That's bullshit! THREE! ARCHIE Have I not told you to use language suitable to your age? FOUR! SABRINA I'll use language suitable to your skinny ass! FIVE! SIX! AISLING (in robot voice) Important observation: We must pursue them with considerable haste. Pursue with haste they do, exiting the ring and rushing along the ramp! COLE I don't know if they'll find them. COACH Because idiot Archie spent time lecturing Sabrina instead of sending them after the champs. We cut backstage where we see The All XFL Team Bus pulling out the entry way at speed's that less than legal! SABRINA They got away! ARCHIE You still won the match, though. AISLING (in teenage voice) That's like winning a date with your brother. SABRINA That sort of thing is popular round here. AISLING (in teenager voice) Not if you've seen my brother. ARCHIE We'll get them, girls. I promise. For now let's go solve some non-linear equations! AISLING and SABRINA Yuck! COACH Mikey I think at this rate the champs will hold onto the belts well past Sluttymania. COLE Sure, if they keep running and dodging the number one contenders. COMMERCIAL/CHANGE OF PANTS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted January 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 ***Anderson Cup, Jannetty Bracket, Biffman and J-MAX W/Melody and n00b Vs Pretty Dreamy Bitches W/Terry Valentine and Bobbi Cheesecake*** Blondie was a bit upset about Biffman. You see Biffman has a square jaw, is jacked as hell and is an all around handsome man. In Blondie's mind this was an affront and he charged Biffman! But the super hero caught him with Fanfare for the Superman (DVD into Minchinokou Driver) The pin... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! Kareem saved the day by yanking Blondie out at the last moment! Terry Valentine captured a touching moment of Kareem crying over Blondie's death. It wasn't even ruined by Melody comparing it to Stay Puft crying over the death of Big Gay Al. Obviously Blondie wasn't dead so the official forced Kareem into the affair. He wasn't any better at dealing with Biffman but at least he didn't fake his death. Somehow J-MAX gave him the run around despite being like 500 pounds lighter. Just as things looked bleak, Blondie returned and tagged Kareem. Blondie and J-MAX had a quality bout going, with J-MAX flying fast and Blondie flying at medium speed. In the end Blondie won out with a moonsault and he Kareem took turns beating on the Brit from there. The fans did rally J-MAX to his corner, but Terry Valentine yanked Biffman off the ring apron and smashed his face against the steel steps! That was the prelude to the end for our heroes and Kareem finished the contest with a Money Shot to J-MAX! Winner: Pretty Dreamy Bitches, via pinfall Post match TV-MA wanted to film Kareem crushing J-MAX with more Money Shots, but as Kareem climbed the top rope The Christ Air Express ran down and shoved him off! The fat man crashed into the guard rail, thrilling the fans and reducing Blondie to tears. COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted January 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 COLE Folks, we all saw Slime defeat Remy Bazil to win a date with Deirdre. Why don't we take a look in on how the couple is doing? Seeing that its nice and warm outside, Slime has decided to wine and dine Deirdre at the outside eating area of Rallys. Yes Rallys. DEIRDRE They didn't even put a pickle on this burger. SLIME Booooger? Oooo wike boooger? Slime picks his nose and offers a booger to Deirdre. DEIRDRE Disgusting! Seriously where were you born? SLIME Mooooo bumppppsher? DEIRDRE New Hampshire? SLIME Moooooo bommmpsher! DEIRDRE I don't know what you're trying to say. SLIME Moooooo bommmmmpsher! Mooooo bommppppsher! Ayyyyy guuuv chooo? DEIRDRE I hope you didn't say you love me. I hope you didn't say that. Slime takes an onion ring out of a carton, the last one left and drops to his knees. DEIRDRE No, no, no. SLIME Herrdrrre? DEIRDRE That's my onion ring. I was going to eat that! Sneezing on the onion ring, Slime makes it even more special in his mind. DEIRDRE Get up, get up! SLIME Pilll vuuuuk narry Slime? DEIRDRE Will I marry you?! Will I marry you?! I wouldn't marry you if I had two options! Marry you, or see everyone I love spend an enternity getting painfully roasted in hell's flames! I wouldn't marry you if my only other choice was to have my eyes drilled out! I wouldn't marry you- VOICE Oh my god is that, Slime! No less than 20 model quality women run up to Slime! WOMAN 1 Slime! WOMAN 2 He's even more adorable in real life! WOMAN 3 You wanna come back and party with us, Slime? SLIME Heeeee? WOMAN 4 Please, Slime, please! SLIME Ohhchay! The onion ring is tossed to the side and Slime is welcome into the arms of the hot girls! They escort him off into their massive hummer limo for party time! DEIRDRE Wait! Wait! You're my ride! We're ten miles from the hotel! Fifteen from the arena! Is this is a fucking joke! How am I supposed to get back?! Just then STUDDERBOX appears. STUDDERBOXX https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A DEIRDRE GOD DAMN IT!!! COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted January 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 LOTS OF HOTTIES LOTS OF COCKS THE LETHAL BANG TO DETERMINE THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE WOMEN'S TITLE ONLY AT ANGLEPALOOZA COACH Anglepalooza can't come soon enough! You are gasoline You are fire and smokeBOOOOOOOOM~! Rocking over the arena is “Gasoline” by The Material. Through the smoky haze of the pyro wall comes Ser Pike Pantera, the monstrous boy of the Kingsguard. Behind him is his fellow night, the grinning Midnight Hour, Ser Felix Strutter. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Now making his way to the ring, being accompanied by “THE MIDNIGHT HOUR” SER FELIX STRUTTER, from Savannah Georgia he is SER PIKE PANTERA of THE KINGSGUARRRDD! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Ser Pike Pantera, the Wayward Son, faces his greatest challenge yet. Krista Isadora Duncan. COACH But it shows the faith King Landon has in Pike over anyone else. You only send your best warrior to fight Krista. Pike springs onto the apron from the floor, causing the referee to take a step back from this powerful display of agility from such a tall and muscular person. I stay out too late Got nothing in my brain That's what people say, mmm-mmm That's what people say, mmm-mmm I go on to many dates [chuckle] But I can't make 'em stay At least that's what people say, mmm-mmm That's what people say, mmm-mmm But I keep cruising Can't stop, won't stop moving It's like I got this music In my mind Singing, "It's gonna be alright." 'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off Heart-breakers gonna break, break, break, break, break And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off The fans put forth huge and excited cheers from the sounding of Taylor Swift's “Shake It Off.” Moving and grooving along the rainbow lit entrance stage are a bevy of dancers dressed as Casino girls. They all whirl around a red rose risen onto the stage. Jackpot is hot when the role unfurls to reveal Krista Isadora Duncan! BUFFER And the opponent from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a Hollywood Walk of Famer, a Fitness queen, an eight time world champion, a multi time Lethal Rumble winner, “MISS CALIFORNIA” KRISTA ISADORA DUNNNCAANNN! “YYYEAAAAHHHHHH!” Krista breezes down the entrance ramp tossing her dirty blond hair back and forth as though she were in a shampoo commercial. COLE Krista fresh off a steamy webcam show now into the fire with Pike! COACH I still got a fire in my pants from that show! Damn, that was too hot for words. The audience gets a leggy eyeful as Krista bends herself upside down over the top rope and even blows them a kiss. DING DING DING PIKE I venture you're going to taunt me about something. KRISTA Well... PIKE I have been in out of prison, I currently serve a man weaker than I, I attacked my father and almost literally buried alive, and I am seconded by a simpleton, but let me disavow you of the notion you will insult me. Pike piefaces Krista! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Never one to take that sort of thing in stride, Krista unleashes a flurry of kicks at Pike's legs! COLE Krista teeing off! Pike shoves Krista backwards, but the eight time world champion comes screaming back with a spinning wheel kick that knocks him off his feet. KRISTA And to think I was going to compliment you. REFEREE You were? KRISTA We all should be lucky to find royalty for a sugar daddy! Running in on Krista gets Pike struck with another series of kicks. He makes an effort to fight back, but Miss California corrals him with a side headlock. This hold doesn't last long due to Pike shoving Krista into the ropes. When she bounces back, Krista tries a shoulder block. Of course Pike doesn't move. COLE Krista is usually smarter than that. Now its Pike who hits the ropes and when he returns he flattens Krista with a shoulder block? “FUCK YOU, PIKE! FUCK YOU, PIKE! FUCK YOU, PIKE!” Pike's response to these chants? To just shrug his shoulders for he couldn't possibly care less. Ser Pike pulls Krista up by her blondish locks and tosses her into the corner by those same strands. After a nod to Felix he runs in with a corner lariat, that Krista avoids by diving onto the apron. FELIX The hour of the cower! She's afraid of you! Pike groans his annoyance with her as he reaches over the ropes to grab her. But Krista makes a cool slide into the ring between his legs. When Pike turns around Miss California nails him with a surprise side effect! “YYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Blonds Never Pay a Cover! The cover... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! An easy kickout by Ser Pike! COACH Yes, yes, that's why King Landon got this man in the Kingsguard! He protects me and Landon from people like Krista. COLE You?! COACH I'm the royal fool, I bring joy to the Kingdom and you. COLE I don't know about that second part... Miss California springboards off the second rope, timing her flight to Pike's rise. As such she cracks him across the back of the head with an enziguri that dumps him to the canvas! “BOOTYTIME” a very drunk fan hollers. KRISTA Still can't get enough of this ass, huh? Well, here you go That's all the booty the fans get for now as Krista uses a butt bump to Pike's face to back him all the way to the corner. COLE Buns of steel indeed. Krista runs in on Pike with a dropkick, but the move fails as Pike slides out the way. Slammed against the canvas, Krista then victimized by the knight's heavy landing stomps. PIKE The tides will always turn, and the weak will always be washed to see to be devoured by monsters like me. Pike takes hold of Krista, again by the hair, and launches her towards the center of the ring. He's stunned and annoyed to she her do a flip and land on her feet! KRISTA I have ten amateur surfing championship, wave runner. PIKE Our former surfer girl begins winging kicks at Pike's ribs, and these force Pike into the corner. Feeling some fury, Krista charges in and unloads with more kicks to Pike. The blows land with such feorcity that the official has to to pry Krista apart from Pike! KRISTA Honey, your touching my wristbands. My bastard half-Thai half-Asian half-woman bro-sister stole these from the man who thinks he's her father and gave them to me. Unhand them. Wisely the official does unhand Krista. Now the eight time world champion is free to go after Pike. But when she does, Pike grabs the band of her waist and pulls her forward to crash her face first into the bottom turnbuckle. STRUTTER The ring awareness is so daaaangerrr-ussssssss. SER PIKE Be quiet, Ser Felix. COLE At least he calls him Ser Felix now. Pike's assualt is even worse now as he chokes Krista so hard he pushes her head over the ropes and out the ring. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the crowd hisses at The Wayward Knight. REFEREE Come on, Pike let her go. PIKE You do not question a knight of the Kingsguard, dog. Be obedient and count my pin. ONE! TWO! Foot on the ropes! COLE Great presence of mind by Krista. She's not done yet. After bringing Krista off the mat, Pike attacks her with a series of clubbing forearms that stagger her to the ropes. Trying to continue the fight, Krista rushes at Pike. But the knight flourishes out with a rolling kesgari chop to the neck that drops Krista where she stands. Pained, Krista cries out on the mat. COLE That lethal chop one of many dangerous strikes in Pike's arsenal. Thinking Krista beat, Pike pins her.... ONE! TWO! The shoulder comes up! “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” COLE They'll be chanting Tony T tonight in the mainevent as Tony Tourettes faces King Landon for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! Pike comes off the ropes, seeking to drill Krista as she stands with a lariat. However, our heroine bends backwards, shows off her thong and avoids the attack. She then flips forward and pulls Pike to the mat with a head scissors! After being flung into the corner posts, Pike staggers to Krista, who goes up and around him to smash his face into the canvas with a satellite DDT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Krista Completes Me in the middle of the ring! The cover.... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Pike effortlessly powers out of the pin! The two warriors get to their feet with Pike wailing on Krista with huge right hands. Having weakened her, Pike lifts her into a uranage setup. Yet Krista is able to make a daring escape out the hold. She leaps onto the second rope and springboards back to send Pike for a dizzying ride with a hurricanrana! The move goes into a pin that's counted by the official... ONE! TWO! Again Pike fights out the pin! COLE Ser Pike Pantera more than holding his own with an eight time world champion. COACH I think Ser Pike is a future world champion himself. KRISTA Bootytime for realz, yo! “YYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” KRISTA Pesky to the very end, Ser Felix appears on the ring apron. COLE Damn it! Get down! Krista has every intention of getting Felix down and runs after him. Rightly fearful he dives off the apron. With that mission accomplished Krista turns to Pike and gets nailed with a lethal gore! “OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Smoking Gun! Smoking Gun! The leg is hooked for the critical cover... ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING COLE No way! BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall.....SER PIKE PANTERA! ”BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Dayum! This nigga Pike pinned Krista! Cleanly at that! The referee tries to raise Pike's hand, but Pike is in no mood for that gesture and simply leaves the ring. COLE Unbelievable what we've seen tonight. Ser Pike Pantera coming from out of nowhere and beating the unbeatable woman! Felix is the only one jumping for joy as he literally jumps for joy around Pike. Ser Pike is totally indifferent to this HUGE victory as he makes his way to the backstage. COLE Zack Malibu's never beaten Krista. Odin's never beaten Krista. Leon Rodez's never beaten Krista. Christian Wright's never beaten Krista. Colin's never beaten Krista. Ned's never beaten Krista. But now Ser Pike Pantera has! Cleanly! COACH King Landon you've got a great one! COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted January 5, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2015 ***Six Man Titles: House Asgard Vs The Menagerie*** Leon appeared with the microphone in a brand new outfit: LEON New fashion for a new year. But new year same old shit. Except for Clem, my favorite referee, every new year is a year closer to your death. Broken knees, failing sight, poor hearing, and fading voice. There won't be any death roar for you, Clem. Just a final croak no one will hear, not even you. JORMUNGANDR Does the demonic one have a particular point? LEON I just wanted to point out the precarious nature of Clem's existence. A simple slip on a patch of ice and you could be dead within the hour, Clem. Its very cold in some parts of the world after all. Very cold, very dark, just like the void you'll enter after death. I've seen where you go after you die, there's no hallowed hall for professional wrestling referees. There's Hel and the only thing worse than the loneliness is the cold. EGGTHER Why don't you do everyone in all nine realms a favor and shut the hell up? “YYYEAAAAAAAAAAAH!” LEON Excuse me I'm talking to Clem. I can help you, Clem. I can save you. All you have to do is let this farce play through. Leon steps back and watches with a knowing smirk and bold eyes. For a moment nothing happens. Then a wine bottle belonging to Maggie Nerdly is crashed against Fenrir's skull! COLE What the hell?! Eggther is smashed to the ground by Sloppy Joe and then roundly sent for a ride with an AngleSlam from Silver! COLE This is insane! What's going on? Jormungandr is pitched over the ropes by The Kings of the Heap, removing him from this situation. And then for the coup de grace, Silver pins a bleeding Fenrir. LEON Clem? Clem can't think of what to do, not now, not with the fans pressuring him to stay on the side of good, not with his mind pressuring him to do the same. LEON When the darkness comes, Clem, it never leaves. The little smile Leon gives after that word is all Clem needs to make the painful counting of the pin... ONE! TWO! THREE! Winner: The Menagerie, via pinfall. LEON Smart choice, Clem. Leon simply departs, leaving his cronies to celebrate with the titles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted January 5, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2015 ***OAOAST World Title: Tony Tourettes W/Congressman Joel Duncan Vs King Landon W/Lorelei DeCenzo and Queen Esther*** The King brought Lorelei along which both angered and aroused Tony. Angered him because she is the 24/7 champion, and aroused because she wore a see through gown! Queen Esther tried to assure Tony everything was going to be okay and wished him luck for the match. King Landon did not appreciate this and curtly told her to stay silent. Cole noted that Landon had grown increasingly ruder to Esther since winning the world title. Tony tried has hardest but his hardest just wasn't good enough as Landon expected. King Landon spent most of the match toying with Tony. It got so bad Queen Esther urged him to go for the finish. This just made King Landon harass and pester Tony more...until Tony walloped him with a punch to the nose! This drew blood and Landon panicked, throwing a wild fit and tantrum. Lorelei was called in and everything broke down into chaotic lunacy. Esther tried to restore order but that simply did not happen. The 24/7 champion smacked Papa Duncan with the belt, which outraged Tony. She school girled her, peeked down her skirt to see a sweet camel toe and pinned her to win back the 24/7 championship! Winner of the 24/7 championship: Tony Tourettes, via pinfall Right after Tony won his title King Landon though pounced on him and took him out with a Go2Sleep for a victory! Winner: King Landon, via pinfall Post-match King Landon retreated backstage, leaving Esther behind to clean up the mess his schemes created. The commentators said with King Landon and Pike's victories, Landon truly rules the OAOAST. FADE TO BLACK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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